page 6 page 13 the parent perspective on getting involved.....page 6 fatherhood the second time...

CPS: The Parent Perspective on Getting Involved.....PAGE 6

Fatherhood the Second Time Around....PAGE 20

Family Travel Doesn’t Have To Be That Stressful.....PAGE 17

Your Toddler Sleep Questions Answered.....PAGE 13

2 • Parent to Parent, Vol. 34, No. 2, 2014

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PARENT TO PARENTJill Chukerman, Managing [email protected]

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Parent to Parent contains articles and information straight from our NPN member community. For information about editorial submissions, email [email protected]; for advertising, email [email protected]. We look forward to hearing from you!

INSIDE THIS ISSUEOUR MISSIONConnecting a diverse community of families with the resources they need to navigate parenting in the city

From the Executive DirectorSpring has finally sprung! After enduring the brutal “polar vortex,” we Chicagoans are ready to shed our winter gear, enjoy the season and get out and experience all the reasons we live here.

Hopefully you escaped this year’s seemingly eternal cold and flu season unscathed. However, if you’re looking for a doctor or specialist, check out our new Doctor Directory, chock-full of member-recommended experts!

There is so much to do and explore across the city. We hope you’ll join us as we check out these family-friendly spots and more:

• Free NPN member days at our favorite Chicago museums

• Lots of events to stay “Fit & Healthy B4&After Baby”

• End of Summer Soccer Bash with Lil’ Kickers at Chi-Town Futbol

• Playdates galore!

School season will be back upon us before we know it. Be sure to save the date for our fall School Fair events, and stay tuned for our Chicago School Choice sessions and “My Directory” to help you gear up to find the perfect preschool or elementary school.

What’s your favorite way to take advantage of the warmer weather with the kiddos? We’d love to hear what you’re up to. Email us at [email protected]. Have a wonderful summer!

LEARN PLAYFamily Travel Doesn’t Have To Be That Stressful ........................... 17

Free Play ............................................ 18

Everybody in the Pool ........................ 19

CARE

SHAREFatherhood the Second Time Around ......................... 20

Raising Well-Rounded Kids ................ 23

You Are a Good Mom (Even When Breastfeeding Doesn’t Work) ................................... 24

Quick and Easy Homemade Cleaners.......................... 26

CPS: The Parent Perspective on Getting Involved ............................. 6

Help Your Child Think Like A Scientist .................................... 7

Misbehavior in Preschool: Letting It Go ........................................ 8

Your Six-Month-Old is Going to College Soon ..................................... 10

One Chicago Mom’s Search for the Perfect Child Care Solution ................ 12

Your Toddler Sleep Questions Answered .......................... 13

Daily Tips To Keep Your Kids Top-Notch Healthy ............................ 15 NPN Volunteers ................................... 5

Social Snapshot ................................. 16

Upcoming Events .................. Back Cover

Vol. 34, No. 2, 2014

Photo courtesy Melanie Schlachter.


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Same Sex Parents .......................................................................................... Angela DebelloWork from Home ................................................................. Amanda O’Brien/Sarah WenningWorking Moms ............................................................Amy Daleo/Lisa Vedral/Amanda Wiley

ResourcesLegal Counselor ..............................................................................................Heather Varon

NPN Board of DirectorsPresident ......................................... Jennifer Guimond-QuigleyVice President .......................................................Marie LonaTreasurer ..............................................Laurie Bauman NelsonSecretary .............................................................Jennifer FoutBoard Members.....................................................Sarah Cobb Jennifer Groszek Neil Hackler Briana Hafer Christine Jordan Tom Merritt Kristin Myers Victoria Nygren Kevin O’Brien Alison Ray Hema Trukenbrod


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Meet other parents. We’ve heard it takes a village to raise a child; this is never more true than in CPS. Connect with other parents; build a sense of community and find ways you can work together to help the school’s efforts. The more you communicate with other parents, the more you can learn about what’s happening in the classroom and throughout the school.

Invest in the local community. Strong schools build strong communities and vice versa. Visit local restaurants and stores and let them know you are a local school parent. Ask them to donate to the school’s fundraising efforts. Tell businesses that, by supporting their local school, they are keeping great families in the neighborhood and bringing in more revenue for themselves.

Your contribution to your child’s education cannot start and end with drop-off and pickup. Getting involved in your child’s classroom and school should be a priority for any CPS family.

A former CPS teacher, Jay Annadurai often spends her kid-free time

helping other parents with their school search. She and her family love

living and learning in the city and are particularly fond of their family-

friendly neighborhood of North Center.

CONNECT WITH OTHER PARENTS; BUILD A SENSE OF COMMUNITY AND FIND WAYS YOU CAN WORK TOGETHER TO HELP THE SCHOOL’S EFFORTS.

CPS: THE PARENT PERSPECTIVE ON GETTING INVOLVED By Jay Annadurai, NPN member since 2006

LEARN

Where I grew up in Ohio, there wasn’t any discussion of “school choice.” You simply went to one of two elementary schools, depending on what side of town you lived on. In Chicago we are busting with an endless smorgasbord of options: public vs. private, Montessori vs. play-based, magnet vs. neighborhood, gifted vs. classical. When we successfully navigated our daughter’s school search and found ourselves at an amazing neighborhood Chicago Public School, I thought my work was done. Not true; I’ve since realized that being part of the vast CPS school system means that a parent’s “work” should never be done.

Volunteer. In many CPS classrooms, the student-to-teacher ratio hovers at about 30:1. Even the most skilled educator can use some extra help, especially during times when children are doing group work. In addition to serving as a field trip chaperone, give your time in the classroom. Volunteer during literacy time to help with different reading groups. Assist with math centers to help struggling students. Don’t have time during the day? Offer to help with at-home projects like cutting out flashcards.

Donate. Chances are your CPS school serves a truly diverse population of families representing myriad socioeconomic levels. Contribute an amount you are comfortable with; funds raised support school-wide programs, such as art or drama, or improvements like building upgrades. Classrooms often run low on supplies, such as copy paper, tissues, drinking cups, markers, etc. Ask teachers if you can pitch in, especially toward the end of the year when materials dwindle.

Join the Local School Council (LSC) or Parent Teacher Organizations (PTO). These groups comprise active parents, teachers and community representatives who focus on strengthening the school’s growth. Share your ideas on possible improvements to ensure continued success. Meetings are open to the public, so if you can’t join, stop in to hear the latest news from the school.

Photo courtesy Jay Annadurai.


CPS: THE PARENT PERSPECTIVE ON GETTING INVOLVED By Jay Annadurai, NPN member since 2006

HELP YOUR CHILD THINK LIKE A SCIENTISTBy Joe Robinson, Creative Scholars Preschool, NPN member since 2009

LEARN

Question what your child already knows. If your child tells you that tyrannosaurus ate meat, don’t stop there; dig deeper and ask your child why we think tyrannosaurus was a meat eater. Turn it into a research project. Ask whether people have ever seen a dinosaur eating. Then look at animals alive today, watch what they eat, look at their teeth, categorize them and see what you’ve learned about sharp teeth.

Discuss and implement simple experiments. Take something, put it into two groups, do different things to those groups, then see what happens. With support, even very young students can see how the scientific method helps us learn. Does your child want to design an unrealistically challenging experiment? Does your experiment involve dozens of sharks and giant lasers? Turn it into an art project and draw what might happen, or act it out with whatever costumes you can come up with.

Try this simple experimentWhat do plants need to grow? Perhaps your child can tell you they need dirt, water, air and sunlight. This example shows how experimentation helps us learn more about what a plant needs.

Plant bean seeds in four different cups, mugs or small pots. Garden beans or green beans work best. Plant three or four seeds in each container. Give each cup a different set of conditions: one without dirt, one without water, one without sunlight—put a box over the top of it or keep it in a very dark closet—and one with everything we think it needs: dirt, water and sunlight.

Water the plants every couple of days (except the no-water plant!) and watch what happens. Plants will start sprouting after about a week. If you like, you can measure and graph their growth. Be prepared for a surprise!

Joe Robinson is a teacher at Creative Scholars Preschool, a safe, engaging,

collaborative place for children to learn, focused on early academic skills

and fine arts. Learn more at creativescholarspreschool.com.

Children are born scientists. Their natural curiosity drives them to explore and experiment, and they are often fascinated as they learn how the world works. Their thirst for scientific knowledge seems endless. But when you ask children what scientists do and how scientists come upon new knowledge, you hear descriptions of men and women who know lots of things, dress in white lab coats and toy with beakers of chemicals.

Facts are often at the core of science education for young children. But science goes beyond factual knowledge. The process scientists use to make their discoveries is what makes the world of science special. These tips can help plant the seeds of scientific reasoning in your child’s mind.

Say “I don’t know”—even when you have some idea how something works. Partner with your child to find some answers. Young children tend to think either they know the answer or they don’t. Show your children that learning is an active process, that “I don’t know” can be temporary.

Model different ways to search for knowledge. Read books, watch videos, search the Internet and design experiments. Don’t stop with facts. Teach your child that penguins eat krill, then tell them how you learned it. Maybe you read about it in a book or saw a video or a photograph.

Use the words “I agree” and “I disagree” as much as you can. Whereas “yes” and “no” are stubborn declarations, talking about what you believe opens up a conversation. Make a case for what you think, giving your children a glimpse of your thought processes. Tell them scientists often disagree; they experiment to see who is right and sometimes change their minds.

THE PROCESS SCIENTISTS USE TO MAKE THEIR DISCOVERIES IS WHAT MAKES THE WORLD OF SCIENCE SPECIAL.

Photo courtesy Joe Robinson.


The teacher started to talk with me, but all I could concentrate on was my irrational fear that my child was not going to graduate from high school or even get into third grade because he pushed two kids in preschool. Simultaneously I worried my family would get labeled as “that family with the kid who pushed twice in one week.” That thought was particularly humiliating because I had new preschool mom friends who I wanted to keep and have over for playdates. It did not help when the teacher emphasized the fact that the two kids my son pushed were girls, as if he had a problem with women already. (Cue the brain: more worry, coming up)!

While I silently panicked listened, the teacher assured me it was normal behavior and just a phase. Eventually I calmed down enough to step away from the wall I had been leaning on (nonchalantly, I hope). Our conversation ended, I gathered up my son, thanked the teacher for talking with me and started out the door.

I held my son’s hand as we walked down the stairs. I was so embarrassed and worried and mad. But he was so little, and his cheeks were pink and flushed, and his hair was so cute poking out from under his hat. He had sat and listened to everything we said. I looked down at his little snow-suited self and bent down and hugged him.

He said, “Thanks, Mama. How did you know I needed a hug?”

Love overflowed. My journey in “letting it go” had begun.

Tips on letting go

1. Listen with an open mind. Your teacher might have good advice.

2. Ask questions. Has this happened before? Is this unusual for a child this age?

3. Keep it in perspective. Your child isn’t the first or last to act up in preschool. Most likely, many of your new preschool friends have been there already or will be soon. It might even be a bonding experience!

Amy Johnson lives in West Town with her husband and their two sons.

She enjoys working with NPN volunteers, volunteering at her sons’ CPS

school and working with au pairs and their host families.

My second grader misbehaves in school occasionally by trying to get a laugh or talking out of turn. Sometimes his teacher talks to me about it after class. I address it with my son, then, for the most part, let it go. I learned how to “let it go” by chance one terrible, wonderful day in preschool.

I knew something was up when all the other students were dismissed from the class, and I stood alone in an empty hallway.

The teacher beckoned me inside, and there was my son, sitting on the floor, bundled up in his winter gear, sweaty in the warm room. He looked cute sitting there with his little flushed cheeks and blond hair poking out under his hat.

The teacher told me he had pushed someone—again. I felt mortified and had to hold the wall to steady myself. That sounds dramatic, but I was worried. He had pushed two kids in one week, and now, there I was, in conference with the teacher in a sweltering preschool classroom for the second time in four days.

YOUR CHILD ISN’T THE FIRST OR LAST TO ACT UP IN PRESCHOOL.

MISBEHAVIOR IN PRESCHOOL: LETTING IT GO By Amy Johnson, NPN Volunteer Director, NPN member since 2006

LEARN

Photo courtesy Amy Johnson.


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Start with small changes. Bring lunch to work, skip the afternoon latte, drop the cable movie channels. Find $10 a week and save it, with an eye on raising it to $25 in two years.

Open an account dedicated to education savings. Research college savings plans. Ask your parents, friends, neighbors or financial planner to find the plan that’s right for your family.

You’ll hear about college savings bonds, 529 college savings plans, pre-paid tuition plans, Coverdell accounts, custodial UGMA accounts and others. Don’t let the options paralyze you. You can always move your money around later.

Some plans, like a 529, allow money to grow tax-free and be spent on education costs without incurring taxes. Open an account family and friends can contribute to. Divert a small portion of your paychecks into the account. Contribute part of your tax refund check. Later, you can encourage your child to save part of his/her allowance.

Half of Illinois parents believe their kids will earn some type of scholarship to help pay for college**. I’ve seen my boys throw plenty of things around the house; one of those arms will earn a full-ride football scholarship to the University of Illinois, right?

Maybe. But only a little more than 10 percent of kids get that kind of merit-based financial aid. Save just in case.

When it’s time for college, you can make tax-free withdrawals from the account to pay for qualified expenses—including tuition, fees, room and board, textbooks and other required supplies—at accredited vocational, trade, community or four-year schools.

Still seems a long way off, doesn’t it? Time is your biggest asset, so start now. Even small amounts will add up as your child grows.

* csd.wustl.edu/Publications/Documents/RB10-04.pdf** Illinois State Treasurer’s Office survey of Illinois parents, 2012

Bridget Byron is executive director of finance in the Illinois State

Treasurer’s Office, which sponsors the Bright Start 529 College Savings

plan, offering tax-advantaged savings for advanced education. Illinois

residents receive extra tax benefits. Bridget earned an economics degree

from the University of Chicago and lives with her family in Chicago.

My boys are getting ready for college. One’s six and the other is one-and-a-half. Some of their favorite gifts are the certificates showing Grandma’s modest contributions to their college savings accounts.

Though their grasp of “money” isn’t fully formed, they see these accounts as something important. They are important—maybe more than many parents imagine.

A 2010 study* found that kids with college savings accounts are seven times more likely to go to college; that alone has more impact than family net worth, parent income, the amount saved, even the child’s early academic achievement.

Simply having a dedicated education savings account in your child’s name sets a marvelous predictor for her/his future.

One powerful factor in investing and saving is time. If you want to help your kids pay for education after high school, saving early is crucial. Savings, however small at first, accumulate and grow.

This is intuitive. But many parents find it difficult. Why?

Many families with young children aren’t in the best position to save money for future expenses. But you should make an effort to save whatever you can.

IF YOU WANT TO HELP YOUR KIDS PAY FOR EDUCATION AFTER HIGH SCHOOL, STARTING TO SAVE EARLY IS CRUCIAL.

YOUR SIX-MONTH-OLD IS GOING TO COLLEGE SOON By Bridget Byron, Bright Start, NPN member since 2013

LEARN

Photo courtesy Bridget Byron.

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Au pairA friend asked if we had considered an au pair. She said au pairs provide 45 hours of child care for only $360 per week. I was amazed; that was only around $8/hour, less than we were paying toward the nanny share.

After researching au pair placement agencies, we were connected with a local child care consultant from Cultural Care Au Pair, who helped us through the entire process. We registered on their site (culturalcare.com) and began the matching process. It was interesting to read the au pairs’ detailed profiles and experiences.

We decided we were willing to give up a little privacy in return for the convenience of having a dedicated caregiver for our sons who could also expose them to a new culture. What we didn’t realize was how helpful it would be to have another set of hands around all the time! Meal times are easier and more enjoyable for our family with Nehle, our au pair from Germany. The hours Nehle works vary each week; we could never have this flexibility with another option.

The agency has been there to help with each step along the way, guiding us through the matching and interview process and setting up a household manual. While I am sure our needs will change as the boys grow older, we believe we have found the right fit for us.

Marcie Wolbeck has lived in Chicago with her husband for 10 years and

has been an active NPN member, volunteering as the West Town club

chair and New Moms Group host. She has two boys—Liam (three) and

Ryan (one)—and a third baby on the way!

When my first son was born, I had no idea how daunting finding quality child care would be! How could I leave this tiny angel who had become my whole world with a stranger? We needed to weigh the pros and cons of all options and choose what would work best for our schedule, budget and lifestyle. Fast-forward four years, one more son and another baby on the way, and we have found an ideal situation for our family.

Day care centersWe liked the social aspect of day care centers. We checked the licensing and made sure each seemed like a place where our child would be loved and given plenty of attention. But we worried about exposure to sick kids and the high teacher-to-child ratio. With our ever-changing schedules, we weren’t sure we could adhere to the strict guidelines of drop-off and pickup times. Plus, our top choices had long waiting lists.

In-home day careAfter talking to a few people, we found some lovely in-home day care settings. There were several children of different ages, and we confirmed they were licensed and followed state regulations. While the cost was less than a day care center or nanny, we thought it would be challenging with our work schedules.

Nanny/nanny sharesAfter realizing the best situation for us would be having our children cared for in our home, we explored nannies and found several recommended on the NPN website. We liked not having to deal with drop-off/pickup. Having someone in our home meant our children would be getting 100 percent attention and the ability to socialize through park district classes and playdates. However, the cost was high.

Then we discovered “nanny sharing.” Sharing a full-time nanny with our neighbor made this option affordable. The only catch was the other family’s needs changed suddenly, leaving us without anyone to share the cost. The option became cost-prohibitive, and we were back to our search.

WE NEEDED TO WEIGH THE PROS AND CONS OF ALL OPTIONS AND CHOOSE WHAT WOULD WORK BEST FOR OUR SCHEDULE, BUDGET AND LIFESTYLE.

ONE CHICAGO MOM’S SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT CHILD CARE SOLUTIONBy Marcie Wolbeck, Cultural Care Au Pair, NPN member since 2010

CARE

Photo courtesy Marcie Wolbeck.


What should I do when my toddler has nightmares or night terrors? First, distinguish between the two. If she looks truly frightened and is awake enough to respond to you, it could be a nightmare. Often bad dreams are provoked by something from the screen or a book. The bigger the imagination, the more likely nightmares occur. The solution is reassurance, but don’t linger longer than necessary. Night terrors occur during transitions from light to deep sleep cycles, when a part of the brain wakes up, but other parts remain asleep. Although your child looks frightened and cries inconsolably, she is actually asleep and won’t talk to you. The best response is to keep her safe and wait for the episode to resolve itself. The next morning, she won’t have any recollection of the event. Common culprits are anxiety, irregular sleep schedules, insufficient sleep and illness. Consistent sleep routines help.

As soon as I put my toddler to bed, he jumps out faster than I can say “good night”; what do I do? Use a few tricks from sleep specialists: start with a family meeting to create a “bedtime manners” sleep chart, and emphasize the consistent steps in the bedtime routine. Talk about how sleep gives us energy to “climb the jungle gym or ride your bike.” Give choices: “Would you like your last drink of water right after dinner or while we are reading books?” “Would you like to go potty before or after we put on PJs?” “Would you like two books or one book and one song?” Setting limits can be the toughest step to implement, but it is crucial training. If he comes out of his room, lead him back again every time, with little or no engagement. It may take awhile, but be assured he will get the message. The bottom line is to associate bedtime with extra attention by indulging him in some favorite routines, but set limits and say no to “extras.” It’s the best sleep medicine!

Rebecca Kempton, M.D. is a certified infant and toddler sleep consultant

and has a pediatric sleep consulting business, Baby Sleep Pro. Using

behavioral techniques, she customizes sleep solutions for infants through

age six, based on what she learns about each family. She has three

children, ages six and younger.

One of the most common calls I get is from parents of toddlers who “used to be great sleepers,” then, upon hitting toddlerhood (sometime between 18 months and four years old), became bears at bedtime...and in the middle of the night...and too early in the morning. You are not alone! Don’t let sleep-time antics deter you from helping them get adequate shut-eye. Toddlers need 12 to 14 hours of sleep per day to help them learn, develop, grow, be safe and healthy and keep their moods and behavior in check.

How do I know when to transition to one nap? Some toddlers stop napping around age two but typically continue to nap until they are four or five. At three, 92 percent nap for one to two hours. By four, that number drops to 57 percent. But even if they don’t sleep, one to two hours of midday rest helps. Create a “quiet time” basket with toys, books, puzzles and small crafts. When it’s time for rest, have your toddler choose one or two to play with quietly in her room or bed. Your toddler may even fall asleep! Either way, it’s a break for everyone.

How and when do I transition my toddler from crib to bed? Wait as long as possible, to about age three. A bed without four “walls” offers freedom! When you transition, create sleep rules; establish a consistent pre-bed routine, and use a toddler clock to help him understand the “right” time to leave the room in the morning. Last, make bedtime fun!

TODDLERS NEED 12 TO 14 HOURS OF SLEEP PER DAY TO HELP THEM LEARN, DEVELOP, GROW, BE SAFE AND HEALTHY AND KEEP THEIR MOODS AND BEHAVIOR IN CHECK.

YOUR TODDLER SLEEP QUESTIONS ANSWERED By Rebecca Kempton, M.D., NPN member since 2007

CARE

Photo courtesy Rebecca Kempton.


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We take supplements. We take supplements that support our bodies at our unique cellular levels. This varies for everyone. My children take 1,000 IUs of vitamin D3, cod liver fish oil, probiotics, vitamin A (since we don’t eat liver) and some important B vitamins. Supplements are not one size fits all and should not be treated as such.

My kids are beginning to understand what it takes to be healthy. Persistence and consistency win the race when it comes to instilling healthy habits. Don’t give up or give in as you focus on helping your children grow their bodies to be healthy and strong. While I know all of the above is important, the one thing we honor is their need for lots of cuddles, kisses and hugs!

Jasmine Jafferali, MPH has lived in the West Loop for 12 years. When she

is not teaching moms how to make over their medicine cabinets using

essential oils or doing lifestyle and wellness consults, she makes gluten-

free, soy-free and vegan goodies for her kids while managing her son’s

funky food allergy.

As parents, we do our best to keep our kids healthy. While there is a time and place for modern medicine, I work hard to keep my kids off antibiotics when they are sick. While neither of my children has been on any type of antibiotic since birth, I attribute their good health to using sound natural solutions when they are ill. What are my secrets?

We see a chiropractor. My kids have been seeing my chiropractor since they were a few days old. When they are sick, my chiropractor is the first place I take them. Adjusting their bodies when they are ill or well produces a surge in white blood cells, significantly improving their bodies’ defense systems. One cancer study showed patients who visited chiropractors had a 200 percent greater immune competence than people who had not received chiropractic care and a 400 percent greater immune competence than people with cancer or serious diseases.

We wash our hands. We don’t use hand sanitizers. The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) say the best way to keep hands clean is to wash them for 20 seconds. In fact, the FDA has told manufacturers of antibacterial products if they cannot prove the products are safe, they will be pulled off the market next year.

We use therapeutic grade essential oils. Since learning my son is allergic to salicylic acid, I’ve used essential oils to help manage my children’s fevers and other common ailments. Essential oils are 50–70 times more powerful than herbs alone. They help support the body’s natural immune system, working with the body and maintaining the cells’ integrity. If you want more science-based medical research on how essential oils work, check out aromaticscience.com.

We don’t eat sugar or processed foods. The only sugars I use are maple sugar/syrup and coconut sugar. Sugar and chemicals from processed foods actually suppress the immune system and alter brain chemistry, which affects the ability to think and behave. If my children were to eat junk food every day, their systems wouldn’t have time to mature to their fullest capacity.

PERSISTENCE AND CONSISTENCY WIN THE RACE WHEN IT COMES TO INSTILLING HEALTHY HABITS.

DAILY TIPS TO KEEP YOUR KIDS TOP-NOTCH HEALTHY By Jasmine Jafferali, NPN member since 2010

CARE

Photo courtesy Jasmine Jafferali.


SOCIAL SNAPSHOT CONNECTING CHICAGO PARENTS

We had a blast ringing in 2014 at our Pre-New Year’s Eve Family Celebration at Lil’ Kickers! Thanks to Children’s Dentistry of Bucktown & Wicker Park and all our generous event sponsors for making the party possible! Photo by Julia Franzosa.

Thank you to everyone who came to the 6th Annual Wake Up & Boogie Down Family Festival! We had a great time at the Cubby Bear with Bennett Day School, Bright Horizons, 101.9 The Mix and all our fabulous partners and volunteers. Photo by Alexis Staryk.

Parents got the low-down on everything related to infant sleep in Hyde Park. Photo by Carolyn Sabzali.

SOCIAL SCENE OUT AND ABOUT WITH NPN

Empowering families through home, school and community, our third annual Developmental Differences Resource Fair was a great success! Special thanks to Northwestern Mutual, Garofalo Law Group, LEEP Forward, Tuesday’s Child and The Sensory KidsTM Store for their generous support. Photo by Jazi Photo.

Check out the NPN blog and connect with us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest to get the latest buzz on hot parenting topics, such as:• Healthy habits for kids with special needs• Lifting tips for new parents• International travel with kids

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Before we had kids, my husband and I traveled often, and we always said we would continue to travel after having children. Flash forward to now: we have a three-year-old son and one-year-old daughter—not so simple. I absolutely love traveling with my family but it can be stressful and difficult at times. You have to be prepared and have realistic expectations.

Traveling with family has its ups and downs, but it’s worth it in the end. With everyone’s busy schedule with work, school and play, getting away from it all and having special family time and memories together is invaluable. And traveling opens children’s eyes to another world; it’s a way for them to explore and discover new experiences, from finding seashells to swimming with stingrays or simply exploring new playgrounds. Our kids “change” when they come home in the ways they interact with others and play at home.

Once you get the first couple of trips under your belt, you get into a routine and can prepare yourself. It does get easier.

Here are a few suggestions that help me make traveling with family smoother:

Plan way in advance

• Start researching family-friendly destinations ahead of time to get the best rate and room.

• Try to stay in a rented condo or place with two bedrooms and a kitchen (and request a crib and high chair).

• Research online reviews; get real family perspectives and photos.

GETTING AWAY FROM IT ALL AND HAVING SPECIAL FAMILY TIME AND MEMORIES TOGETHER IS INVALUABLE.

FAMILY TRAVEL DOESN’T HAVE TO BE THAT STRESSFUL By Carolyn Sabzali,

NPN Programming and Community Outreach Manager—South Side, NPN member since 2010

PLAY

• Book plane trips early to get the best choice of seats, and try to plan flights with nap schedules in mind; have toys and plenty of food.

Be prepared to pack

• A one-night trip or a five-night trip? You still need to pack the same things.

• Have a list and start organizing things a few weeks before your trip; packing takes more time than you think, so do it in small stages.

• Remember to pack for the plane ride: food, bottles, diapers, change of clothes, blankies, etc.

• If possible, instead of packing bulky diapers, wipes and lotions, purchase them ahead of time and ship a box to your destination. This saves on packing space and gives you more time to settle in, instead of running to the store.

Just breathe

• Lines will be long, flights may be delayed, but everyone will survive.

• Be flexible with feeding and sleeping schedules; children need time to adjust.

• Set realistic expectations, but try to get your kids on their regular schedule in the new time zone within a couple of days.

Looking back at my last family trip to the Caribbean this winter, were the plane rides unbearable? Yes. Did my daughter sleep in her crib the first night? Absolutely not. Would I travel again? In a heartbeat.

Carolyn Sabzali joined the NPN team in 2012, after more than 10 years

of experience in nonprofit development and special events. She and her

husband live in Little Italy with their two children.

Photo courtesy Carolyn Sabzali.


Get organized. Since I don’t keep all my belongings in one box, why would I expect my baby to? Little ones need an organized space so they can get to work without feeling overwhelmed. Instead of a toy chest, I prefer open shelving that neatly displays the materials. I enjoy organizing the materials by shape, color or type in fun baskets or containers. Everyday objects always look more intriguing in a pretty container so I am frequently scouring thrift stores.

I know babies and toddlers like to put stuff in and out of other stuff, so I pair materials with this in mind. Here are some examples:

• Muffin tins and rocks• Coffee canisters and balls• Plastic soda bottles and popsicle sticks

Simplify. Less is more! I frequently rotate materials to keep my play areas fresh and uncluttered. Children focus better when there are fewer options and an open floor space.

Use ordinary objects in extraordinary ways. Toddlers I’ve worked with love little surprises—for example, hanging wind chimes within arm’s reach. Other fun tricks that inspire play are adding colored water or rice to a soda bottle (secure the lid) or stuffing scarves in an empty tissue box. It’s fun to tap into my inner baby and see objects for the first time. The possibilities for play are truly endless.

Make it a YES environment. Since I don’t want children playing in the potting soil, I cover the base with cardboard. If I don’t want something to go in the mouth, it doesn’t belong in the play space. Get the idea?

I love that I don’t need a large space or big budget for play. By following these simple steps, I can sit back and enjoy observing my baby as she brings the materials and environment to life!

Resources:Creative Toys to Engage Babies; Janet Lansburyjanetlansbury.com/2010/12/creative-toys-engage-babies/

Simple Toys Make Things Happen; Nicole Vigliotti mmpschool.com/tag/materials/

Mary Sue Reese holds an M.A.T. in early childhood education. Prior to

becoming a mom, she worked at Chicago Children’s Museum, where

she managed, designed and facilitated play experiences in the museum’s

premier workshop for early learners, The Pritzker Playspace. To learn more,

please visit HandinPlay.blogspot.com or visit facebook.com/handinplay.

DESIGNING NO-COST PLAY ENVIRONMENTS FOR BABIES AND TODDLERS

FREE PLAY By Mary Sue Reese, NPN member since 2014

PLAY

With the help of Pinterest, fanciful playrooms for young children across America have taken center stage. However, through my education and work, I’ve learned I don’t need to have the perfect color scheme or designer furniture to create an inspiring place to play. I’ve found these simple steps are all it takes to create a safe and engaging space any child can freely explore, without spending a dime.

Materials. Score! I already have the perfect play materials in my house! Children love exploring real-life, everyday materials. I may find a Tupperware lid boring, but my baby can’t wait to get her hands on it. When scavenging for materials, safety first.

I discovered these household items are perfect for play:

• Lids (for pans, plus pasta and salsa jar lids are shiny!) • Measuring spoons and cups • Coffee canisters and plastic soda bottles• Tea towels • Bowls, wooden spoons, muffin tins, silicon

cupcake liners

Tip: I like to collect and display items in multiples to add an extra “wow” factor.

Photo courtesy Mary Sue Reese.


All parents recognize the importance of teaching their kids to swim. But for children with special needs, such as ADHD or sensory processing disorders, just getting into the water can sometimes be a struggle. However, there is plenty of evidence that swimming can be particularly beneficial for children with special needs.

The environmentFinding the right setting is key for children with ADHD, sensory processing disorders or other special needs to discover the joys of swimming. If the pool is always 90 degrees, kids can jump right in and not worry about having to get used to the water. Small class sizes with a maximum 4:1 student-to-teacher ratio ensure individualized attention, and there’s lots of praise for each accomplishment, making little swimmers feel proud and excited to reach the next level.

The benefitsSwim lessons are beneficial for all kids, but there are additional established benefits for kids with special needs and sensory processing disorders:

• Water has a calming effect on muscles and joints.

• Being in a lane and having an end point provides a way for them to focus on one task and not get easily distracted.

• They can go at their own pace and feel a relatively immediate sense of accomplishment (e.g., making a goal of swimming one additional lap each time they go in the pool).

• Many times, kids with ADHD have difficulty in school. Swimming is a great way for them to harness their energy and feel passionate about something.

• Swimming holds a child’s concentration and has limited peripheral stimuli.

Chicago-area occupational therapist Erin Anderson of Erin Anderson & Associates said, “I highly recommend swimming for children with ADHD and sensory processing disorders for many reasons. The sport provides a chance for kids to compete against themselves even when they are part of a team. They can go at their own pace and feel a sense of accomplishment in a short time span, all while having to focus on only one target and one direction.”

EVERYBODY IN THE POOL By Kathy Ryan, NPN member since 2006

PLAY

Michael Phelps is the most-known example of a child with ADHD who benefited greatly from swimming. His mother Deborah said, though he couldn’t sit still at school, her son loved swimming so much, he’d wait patiently for four hours at a race for his five minutes of swimming. Even if Michael’s mind was all over the place, he could focus on going up and down his lane. The pool became a safe haven for him.

The bottom line is that all kids can enjoy the benefits of swimming. I encourage you to reach out and find the right setting where your child can be successful in the pool!

Kathy Ryan lives in Lincoln Park with her husband Bob and two children

(five and seven years old). Her passion for swim safety and better swim

options for city families inspired her to open Goldfish Swim School in

Roscoe Village in 2013.

THE BENEFITS OF SWIMMING FOR KIDS WITH SPECIAL NEEDS

Photo courtesy Kathy Ryan.


This time around, I will get to take in every day with my daughter. I will etch in my brain the feeling of her sleeping on my chest. I will gaze into her eyes for hours on end and wonder at every phase of development. It may seem like I’m glorifying fatherhood, but I can tell you I’m not. I know what I missed the first time, and I won’t miss it again. I know the value of those memories, and I know what those moments will mean in the future when they are gone. I have had 20 years to examine these thoughts, and I’m so happy I get to be a father to a second child. Take the time to take it all in; it goes fast, and 20 years from now, you’ll want to enjoy those memories.

David Pellissier works in the technology field and has lived in Chicago for

more than 20 years. His wife Colleen handles project support for NPN.

They have a little dog named Henry, who was excited to have someone

new to pal around with when their daughter arrived in April.

I HAVE THE BENEFIT OF KNOWING THE HARD WORK, JOY AND SOMETIMES PAIN WILL BE WORTH IT.

FATHERHOOD THE SECOND TIME AROUNDBy David Pellissier, NPN member since 2013

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My story is not a typical one. The way I became a father the first time, almost 20 years ago, was not from a well-thought-out plan. It just kind of happened, like many things when you are 23. It was a comedy of creative decisions and non-decisions that serendipitously resulted in the most incredible and important person in my life, my son Oliver. The circumstances were atypical but the journey was profound and amazing, filled with ups and downs and the pains and happiness of parenthood. Oliver is now 19 years old, and as he prepares for adulthood, I am getting ready for my second round of fatherhood, as we are expecting a baby girl in April.

In my second round of fatherhood, my situation is quite different. I am 42 and married and I have the experience of raising Oliver to draw from. I missed the beginning of my son’s life, and it’s something that hurts to this day. Fortunately, Oliver and I are very close, and I take comfort in knowing I did the best I could to make him feel safe and supported. But I wish I could have given him more during those early years and been there day to day. I know I missed things.

Becoming a parent again is exciting and scary; like many, I’ve never changed a diaper, swaddled, shushed or had to pacify a crying baby. However, deep down I feel relaxed because I know everything will work out. From my time with Oliver, I have the benefit of knowing the hard work, joy and sometimes pain will be worth it.

For expecting dads, I have some advice. You will get through it, and you will be a good father. On the surface, your babies will seem fragile and delicate and easily damaged. In some ways they are, but overall, children are resilient survivors. You will make some mistakes and do some things you will immediately realize you could have done better. It’s OK. They are very forgiving, so put the anxiety aside and enjoy every moment.

Photo courtesy David Pellissier.


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Your child’s journey begins here! Sherwood, at Columbia College Chicago, cultivates your child’s potential through fun and accessible classes in music, dance and theatre. Our children’s programs are open to anyone who wishes to participate, and are taught in a playful and informal learning environment.

MUSIC DANCE THEATRE

SUMMER TERM CLASSES BEGIN ON MAY 5, 2014! Register today at colum.edu/sherwood 1312 S. Michigan Ave, in the South Loop


Have quiet time. This is not the same as unstructured play. Time to relax and regroup facilitates emotional regulation and self-care. Even if your child is too old for a nap, some quiet time each day is important.

Listen. Observe your child’s behaviors and talk with him. If he is screaming during swim class, maybe he is tired and needs a break. Ask her what she likes and doesn’t like about various activities. This will help children begin to form their own identities.

Set an example. You want your children to be open to trying different things and experiences, so be a role model. Let them see you trying something new—or, better yet, do it together.

Paulette Janus is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and founder of Janus

Behavioral Health Services, LLC with offices in Lincoln Park and Wilmette.

For more than 15 years, she has been providing psychotherapy services

for children, teens and families, helping people live happy and healthy.

Raising well-rounded kids means encouraging them to be who they are, explore their interests, build confidence and engage with others and their world. It does not mean participating in any and all activities just to add them to a list of accomplishments. It can be a difficult balancing act but here are some tips.

Engage in various activities. Different activities help children learn various skills. Exposure to art, music and dance fosters creativity. Involvement in sports helps develop teamwork, competitiveness and good sportsmanship. Engaging in volunteer activities builds empathy and concern for the greater good.

Try activities informally. Children do not need to participate in scheduled activities to discover their interests. Take a family outing ice skating or swimming. Create an art project at home. You will get a sense of what types of activities your child enjoys while spending quality family time.

Encourage special talents. This is about your children, not you. Each child has different interests. Encourage them to pursue their unique talents. This will enhance their self-confidence and help their social interactions by allowing connections with others similar to them.

Allow choices. Children, like adults, are more likely to engage in and enjoy activities they choose, rather than feel like their interests are being dictated to them. You can set the expectation that they will participate in a sport yet allow them the choice of sport.

Focus on effort. Children who believe success is due to innate abilities are less likely to take on new challenges than children who believe success is due to hard work. Praise practice and effort rather than the outcome.

Avoid “helicopter” parenting. Children learn patience, dedication and frustration tolerance by trying new things and experiencing setbacks. Resist the impulse to “fix it” and instead help your child learn to problem-solve and cope with challenges.

Make time for unstructured play. Children do not need to be entertained every minute of every day. They need space to be creative and learn self-entertainment. It is amazing what kids can do with something as simple as a cardboard box.

ENCOURAGE THEM TO BE WHO THEY ARE, EXPLORE THEIR INTERESTS, BUILD CONFIDENCE AND ENGAGE WITH OTHERS AND THEIR WORLD.

RAISING WELL-ROUNDED KIDSBy Paulette Janus, LCSW, NPN member since 2012

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Photo courtesy Paulette Janus.


Pumping was hard—every two hours around the clock. It was a grueling schedule. I couldn’t imagine ever leaving the house. By the time I fed him, changed him, pumped, cleaned and packed up, my son was hungry again. I was a wreck—physically and emotionally. How long would this cycle continue?

I made it to 10 weeks. Many women told me that was great. “Whatever you can do is wonderful.” But I didn’t believe them. I believed the other women who told me, “If you loved your baby enough, you’d keep going.”

The never-ending cycle of pumping and shame nearly broke me. I scoured the Internet for stories like mine to give me strength and reassure me I was still a good mom if I let go of pumping.

Here are a few things I’ve learned that helped me heal along the way:

• Whether you breastfeed, pump or neither, it doesn’t define you as a good or bad mom.

• Your baby will be happier with a well-rested mom who isn’t crippled by guilt or shame.

• You know what’s best for you and your family. What works for someone else might not work for you.

• Trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, sound right or look right to you, speak up. You are your own biggest advocate.

• Everyone’s story and experiences are unique. Embrace yours.

• Surround yourself with loving, supportive people. This beautiful journey is tough enough.

To this day I longingly watch my friends breastfeed their new babies. My heart hurts as they share stories of bonding over the experience. Even writing this article brought me to tears. There is so much pressure on new moms that any setback from “your plan” can take a big toll. But I’ve learned to let go, just a little bit. I believe the best gift you can give to yourself is to go a little easier on yourself. And although the early days of parenthood were tough on me—tough on us—I couldn’t be prouder of my happy, healthy two-year-old and the bond we share.

Shay Feeney owns Shay Feeney Photography, specializing in children and

family portraiture. These days Shay is enjoying her time at home with her

son. She lives in Old Irving Park with her husband and son.

I BELIEVE THE BEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE TO YOURSELF IS TO GO A LITTLE EASIER ON YOURSELF.

YOU ARE A GOOD MOM (EVEN WHEN BREASTFEEDING DOESN’T WORK)By Shay Feeney, NPN member since 2009

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I was going to breastfeed my baby. There was no question. I took the class, read the books and bought the pump. I was ready. I even yelled at my husband for being unsupportive when he wanted to buy a container of formula “just in case.” Then my beautiful 9 lb., 14 oz. baby boy arrived. He was wonderful.

But it didn’t take long for me to realize something was wrong. My milk came in, but breastfeeding hurt. A lot. Worst of all, my little boy was crying. He was hungry.

I asked every nurse on every shift what I was doing wrong. They told me to just keep trying. It wasn’t until after we got home that my husband finally called in the reinforcements. Our wonderful friend came to help. It took her all of five minutes to figure out my son was tongue-tied. He would need a procedure to breastfeed properly, which we couldn’t schedule for days. So we switched to the pump. My big and very hungry newborn took to the bottle like nobody’s business. After his procedure, with help from a lactation consultant, we tried to coax our son off the bottle—with every position and technique in the book. But he wasn’t coming back. We both shed tears, and I was overwhelmed with feelings of rejection.

Photo courtesy Laura Meyer.


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BehavioralSummer Camp10 Week Camp for Children 6 and Under

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Glass Cleaner• ½ cup white distilled vinegar• ½–1 cup water

Mix ingredients in a 16 oz. spray bottle. Shake well before each use.

Tub and Tile Scrub• ¾ cup baking soda• ¼ cup Castile soap• 1 tbsp. water

Mix all ingredients together until dissolved and a paste has formed. Scoop out a small amount, apply with a brush to scrub hard-to-clean bathroom surfaces. Store remaining in an airtight container.

Hardwood Floor Cleaner• 1 gallon hot water• 2 tbsp. Castile soap• 20 drops of essential oil (orange, lemon, lime, grapefruit)

Fill a bucket with hot water, add soap and essential oils; mix thoroughly. Apply with a mop; allow mop to soak in water until ready to use. Apply with a cloth or scrub brush to wash floors by hand.

All Purpose Cleaner• 1 cup white distilled vinegar• 1 cup water


Bonus: Commercial antibacterial soaps can include triclosan, a chemical that breaks down dioxin, a known carcinogen.

Disinfecting Hand Soap• ¼ cup Dr. Bronner’s Peppermint Castile Soap • 5 drops Thieves blend essential oil• 2–3 drops lemon essential oil• Water

Mix soap and oils in an 8–10 oz. foaming soap pump bottle. Fill bottle with water. Shake well before using.

Ready to detox your cleaning products? I highly recommend Homemade Cleaners by Mandy O’Brian and Dionna Ford, featuring more than 150 natural recipes.

Alison Ray, mom to two girls, is founder/editor of SassyMomsintheCity.

com, the premier online destination offering access to the latest trends,

giveaways, product reviews, interviews with mompreneurs and invitations

to exclusive events, and CEO of SoChic Media, a marketing event company

specializing in connecting businesses with sophisticated women.

LAST YEAR I STUMBLED ONTO HOMEMADE CLEANERS. THE BEST PART? WE OWNED EVERY INGREDIENT.

QUICK AND EASY HOMEMADE CLEANERSBy Alison Ray, NPN member since 2007

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Impending parenthood causes all types of worries and concerns to surface. Nesting kicks in as we prep, plan, clean and organize for the newest family member.

Pregnant with my first child six years ago, I had an epiphany that we must ban all toxic chemicals from our home before baby arrived. My husband thought I’d lost my mind. As I pried the Soft Scrub from his clenched hand, he demanded, “Why would we not use bleach or cleaners promising to kill every germ? Isn’t the goal to have a germ-free home?”

Late-night Internet searches and countless articles on the effects commercial cleaners can have on newborns were keeping me up at night. Venturing into the world of green products was the easiest solution. I purchased eco-friendly brands like Shaklee, Method, Earth Friendly Products and Mrs. Meyer’s.

But were these products really any better? Many were more expensive. One of the leading non-toxic granite cleaners includes benzisothiazolinone, a common preservative that is toxic to aquatic life when it is used in oil-recovery fluids, according to the EPA.

Last year I stumbled onto homemade cleaners. The best part? We owned every ingredient. The recipes worked so well, I’ve now replaced every commercial cleaner for the kitchen, floors and bathroom. My next goals are laundry and dishes.

Here are a few homemade cleaner recipes to try:

Homemade Granite Cleaner• ¼ cup plain unflavored vodka (cheap vodka works better

than rubbing alcohol)• 2–3 drops Castile soap • Water• 5–10 drops of essential oil (optional)


Tip: Once per week I disinfect our granite counters and cutting boards by rubbing with coconut oil, which is naturally antimicrobial, antibacterial, antiviral and antifungal.

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UPCOMING EVENTSVisit our Calendar for more great events all over Chicago!

AUGUST

309:30 a.m.–noon

MAY

138–9:30 p.m.

SEPTEMBER

2010 a.m.–1 p.m.

End of Summer Soccer Bash

Chi-Town Futbol2255 S. Throop, Chicago

Celebrate summer and kick off the upcoming school year! Families will enjoy soccer classes, an inflatable jump zone, arts & crafts and snacks.

7 Abilities Your Child Needs for School & Testing Success

Webinar at your home

Led by TestingMom.com’s Karen McCurdy.Bonus Info: Tips on avoiding “brain drain” this summer! Registration required: npnparents.org/events/1604

South Side Preschool & Elementary School Fair

Hyde Park Neighborhood Club 5480 S. Kenwood, Chicago

Connect with preschools, elementary schools, child care providers and enrichment programs. FREE and open to the public. RSVP to expedite check-in.

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within our trusted community.

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