Pacific Rim Hospice SocietyServing Ucluelet, Tofino and neighbouring First Nations communities providing comfort, care and hope when facing end-of-life, grief and debilitating illness or injury

Summer 2014

Two Years of Grief Support; Part of Twenty Years of CaringIn April of this year, I had the chance to sit down with three lovely women to talk about Hospice. Two of them I had never met before that day. The conversation that ensued was much more wide-ranging and in-depth than I expected and was certainly emotional for everyone. Jeanette O’Connor, of Ucluelet, had agreed to share her experience in the two years since her husband, Bob, died from cancer. Tierney Schievink, Bob and Jeanette’s volunteer, was also present, as was Kim Hoag, the PRHS’ executive director. Jeanette agreed to the interview—and even to being named in the local newspaper—because she felt she benefitted enormously from Hospice and wanted to raise awareness about the organization. She contrasted her experience in dealing with Bob’s death to the time after her mother died, when she hid severe depressive symptoms. “I wish I had found [Hospice] after my mom died,” said Jeanette.

“I thought Hospice was for the dying. I had no idea it was [also] for the ones that are going to be left behind.” Now she makes a point of telling people about Hospice.

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Comments from clients & donorsOne family wrote…

Please accept our deepest appreciation and thanks for all you have done…from words of support and hugs to booklets with helpful information… info about wills and other legal matters… just amazing work and so helpful at such a stressful time. Thank you for all the help you gave us and for all the work you do helping people in this community.

From a donor…

I have been involved in hospice services for cancer patients and this has made me realize just how very important and vitally necessary hospice services are within a community.

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A big part of the process for Jeanette was the understanding that she could grieve in her own way, on her own terms. She’s spent much of the last two years, with Tierney’s help, managing and simply surviving her grief without any “shoulds”. Jeanette said since Bob died Tierney became “her person.” “Tierney let me know I could do what I needed to do for myself, for my own wellbeing,” Jeannette said. You don’t always want to rely on your family and friends, points out Jeanette, and there is societal pressure to “stay strong” and “put on a brave face”. Jeanette said she felt she could say anything to Tierney, and that luxury of non-judgment, as well as the support and help Hospice volunteers provide, gave her the strength she needed to do something that seems simple like walk down the street. In terms of volunteering for Hospice, Tierney acknowledges it’s not easy to be someone’s “person”. “Even when you’re not with them, you’re thinking about them”, she said. The O’Connor’s were Tierney’s first clients after she completed the 30 hour Hospice Volunteer training. But Tierney stresses she has received much in return, including the opportunity to be open and to feel connected to another person. Tierney earned Volunteer of the Year for 2012 for all her hard work with Hospice. While Jeanette says she still has a long way to go on her journey (it’s only been two years since Bob passed), she is feeling positive.

"I certainly wouldn’t be in this state without Hospice; I would have crawled into a hole... It’s helped me live, not just survive – thrive". Hospice celebrates it’s 20th anniversary this year. During the past two decades, over 70 Hospice volunteers have contributed more than 27,000 hours towards helping 2,600 people in our communities. This contribution is immeasurable, especially for those facing life-ending illnesses or the death of a loved one. “It’s not something I would have chosen but being stuck with it, it’s been a good experience to work through,” Jeanette said. “I think it’s because of hospice that it’s been a good experience.” – Jen Dart

Hospice Grief Support GroupWho? anyone who has experienced the death of a loved one, and would like support to walk through the pain. a minimum of 5 participants is needed for a group.

What? 7 weekly meetings. no cost. First meeting at Hospice Centre 240 Neill St., Tofino

Where? Group will alternate meetings in home communities of majority of participants

When? Fall 2014

How? Please call Kim (250-725-1240) to put your name on a confidential interest list.

every one of us has experienced or will experience a loss due to death. It is not uncommon to wonder if our despair and loneliness is unusual. It’s not. Come and participate in a group of people dealing with their own losses, and you will find that others are experiencing similar feelings. Being together in a safe setting can be deeply healing.

I was ready for a group six months after my son died. Others in my group were grieving a loved one lost over ten years ago; it didn’t matter. We understood and listened to each other. It was healing to take the hard feelings and make sense of them.

– Bereaved father

This year, to her great surprise, Sister Laura was awarded the title (and cape) of “Volunteer of the year”It is with great pleasure that I sat and had tea with her and asked her a few questions about herself. I am sharing here some of what I learned. Laura grew up in L.A., California, with her 3 siblings. Her parents were Italian immigrants. At age 17, she joined the community of Immaculate Heart of Mary. She then pursued her education to become a teacher. After teaching in California for a few years, she was invited to come and teach here (along with a few others). She was then 23. She has now been in Tofino for 54 years, and has taught for 45 years before retiring. She first came to teach in Opitsaht, where she was also the principal, and lived there for a year. We can only imagine the culture shock in moving from L.A. to a small community! She told me funny stories about crossing in her robes, with a stiff coif that would become very limp as, in heavy weathers, the water would splash in the canoe. The sisters then convinced their superiors that the habits were

not ...conducive to the life style. She continued, after that first year, to teach in Tofino for over 30 years. Sister Laura has been with Hospice for over 10 years. It was a continuation of her work. “We get so much more from the clients than we give them!” she humbly added. When asked what her hobbies were, she told me she likes reading, loves playing canasta, listening to music and cheering for Notre Dame football and Canuck hockey teams. When I inquired about what was most important in life, here is what she answered: “To do good and being kind to everyone. If you make one person feel better or make them happy, you have accomplished a lot in life.” I asked her if she had any suggestions for other volunteers: “Unless you are doing the work with all your heart, don’t do it. Bring to the people you work with that inner love. They can sense it; they can see it, feel it. Bring them that warmth and love. You don’t have to say words. Just hold their hand, just be present. They feel that." Words of wisdom. Congratulations Sister Laura, and thank you for being part of the team! – tHérèse BouCHarD

VOLUNTEER of the YEAR profile

Laura Distaso, Hospice Volunteer of the Year, sporting the purple cape of honor at the Pacific Rim Hospice Society AGM.

2014 Pacific Rim Hospice Society Board Directors

Janine Croxall Laura Distaso Gloria anne Frank Dennis Kay Charmaine Lam rodger Poblete anita tavera George Walkem Vera Webb

Become a Partner In Care. Make a difference in the lives of others!For over 20 years the Pacific Rim Hospice caring community has been strengthened by the generous support of our donors.

To Contact the Hospice SocietyPlease call 725-1240, email kim@pacificrimhospice.ca or come by 240 Neill St, Tofino, across from the hospital.

Visit our website www.pacificrimhospice.ca

Hospice libraries are located at the Hospice Centre inTofino and at West Coast Community resource society in the Coastal Community services Hub in ucluelet. All services are free.

Hospice newsletters are now available by email. Please let us know if you would prefer to receive your newsletter by email, kim@pacificrimhospice.ca

Joe KranabetterRobert and Mara Love in memory of toby

Jean Mattson in memory of Isobel elliot who loved the beach

Arlene McGinnis in memory of arline Craig

Don and Jim McGinnisTabitha McGregor in memory of Winnifred Bowman

Lois MaralsNorth MichaelColby offerinsean Porter in memory of Dianne Porter

Province of British ColumbiaMary RimmingtonJanet st. Pierre in memory of Joyce and Basil st. Pierre

ron shaul in memory of ramon Hotz

ucluelet Co-opGeorge WalkemVera Webb

We gratefully acknowledge our 2014 donors and their loved onesanonymousWayne BarnesCoastal Bliss Yoga studioMaureen Callawaysigny CohenJanine CroxallGloria FrankCarole GagneMishele Gagne in memory of Jean-Yves Gagne

Keith and rene GibsonHospital employees unionKim Hoag in memory of sharon PalmMichael Hogan in memory of eithne Hogan

Island Healthalf and Phoebe Jensen

Hospice Membership Drive

Thank you to all of our new 2014 Hospice members. Thank you to volunteers Natalee Dennis and George Walkem (pictured), Joe Kranabetter, Nuri Nolla, Rene Gibson, Sarah Duncan, Deb Crocker, Carole Gagne, Jan Rodgers, Erin Irwin, Maggie Brown, Sally Mole, Allie Bonner, Shirley Martin, Cathy Whitcomb, Janet Busby, Laurel Irving, Tierney Schievink, Maureen Callaway and Marla Thirsk for helping with the Membership Drives in Tofino and Ucluelet. Thanks to Mishele Gagne and Signy Cohen for organizing the membership drives. Thank you to the Tofino and Ucluelet Co-ops for hosting the Hospice Society membership tables. Because of the generosity of these volunteers and businesses and our communities, Hospice membership for 2014 is up to 94 people.

This workshop will use the practice of “Meditating with the Body” to access qualities of compassion. Participants are advised to wear warm, comfortable clothing, and to bring a blanket. Should participants have a meditation cushion or bench, these are recommended. Chairs will be available to sit on.

Thank you to Island Health and the Abalone Inn for supporting this workshop.

To register or to find out about scholar-ships, email kim@pacificrimhospice.ca or call 250-725-1240. Please register by October 21. Visit www.neilmckinlay.com for more information.

UPCOMING EVENTS OPEN TO THE PUBLICAdvance Care Planning is Easier in a GroupHere are some facts about Canadians and advance care planning::

93% believe it reduces stress and family burden

94% believe it improves quality of life

96% believe it is important to have the conversation with loved ones about your wishes for care... only 50% have had the conversation and only 13% have completed an advance care plan.

advance care planning is about deciding what your wishes for care at end of life are and communicating them to your family and doctor in case you are not able to speak for yourself. Please join us on June 3 from 10:00 – noon at the Hospice office to talk about and work on your advance Care Plan and share tasty snacks. resident advance care expert tracy Head and hopefully lawyer Patrick Canning will be on hand.

to rsVP for the workshop please call 250-725-1240.

For more information and valuable resources about advance care planning visit http://www.advancecareplanningvi.ca or call the Pacific Rim Hospice society Hospice society at 250.725.1240.

50% of Canadians have never talked to family and friends about what they'd want if they were ill and couldn't speak for themselves.

But 100% of us will die. So what's the use of avoiding the topic? It's time to take our heads out of the sand and talk about our end-of-life wishes.

Got a case of

Ostrich Syndrome?

Learn more: Advance Care Planning, Exploring & WritingTuesday June 3, 10:00 – noon at the Hospice Office250 Neill St. in Tofino. Call 250-725-1240 for more info.

Meditating with CompassionA Workshop with Neil McKinlay

Fri. Oct. 24, 2−5 pm

Coastal Bliss Yoga1180 Pacific Rim Hwy Tofino

CostHospice Volunteers & Clients – $5 Hospice Members – $25 General Public – $40

Please send membership fee and form to Pacific Rim Hospice Society, Box 7, Tofino BC, V0R 2Z0

2014 Hospice Memberships - Help Hospice Help Others! $10 I wish to become a supporting member of Pacific Rim Hospice Society

I would like to make a charitable donation (charitable receipt issued) $50 $100 $500 other amount: _______________ I wish my donation to remain anonymous Please send me information on “Planned Giving”

My donation (over $10) is in memory of: __________________________________________________

name: ________________________________ telephone: ______________________________________address: _______________________________________________________________________________email: __________________________________________________________________________________

I would like to get involved with Hospice: Become a Hospice Volunteer receive quarterly newsletters by email Join the Board of Directors Receive quarterly newsletters by post Help in the office, fundraising and special events

LET’S CELEBRATE 20 Years for Hospice!GIVE US YOUR IDEAS… for a 20 Year Celebration this Fall 2014!

CONTRIBUTE TO THE BRAINSTORM…from crazy to benign ideas, they’re all good!

EVERY IDEA MATTERS…and you never know what your idea could turn into!

the organizing Committee will combine, twist, stretch and vote to create a Celebration that you’ll want to take part of.

WANT TO JOIN… the organizing Committee? Let us know!

CONTACT US…

by phone or fax: (250) 725-1240

by email: kim@pacificrimhospice.ca mishele4hospice@hotmail.com

stop by: 240 Neill Street in Tofino (across from the Hospital)

education Series for end of Life CareAdvanced Chronic Illness: Experiences of Patients and Families

June 9, 2014, 8:30 – Noon Tofino General Hospital

• Family Caregivers: Vital Partners in the advanced Chronic Disease experience

• speakers' Panel: experiences of Family

• narratives of Living withLife-threatening Illness

Hospice Job Opportunity

Hospice is looking for the right person(s) to interview key hospice people and produce a report for the strategic plan. the process is expected to take 40 hours over 3 months, June – august. Pay ranges from volunteer to $14/hr. Budget for coffee and treats. Please call Kim at 725-1240 for more info.

UPCOMING EVENTS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC