5 Parenting Tweaks to

Conquering Your Daily Struggles

OverwhelmedOverwhelmedto Overcoming

by Dollie Freeman

     Parenting is hard. It is really hard. It's not something to be ashamed of when you feel overwhelmed by the daily strain that it can bring on a mom.       When a mom feels like she is drowning in the overwhelm of parenting it means that she is in desperate need of solutions to the things causing her the most struggles. 

Motherhood isn' t about the des t inat ion . . .

I t ' s al l about the journey!

Knowing when to ask for direct ion . . .

i s key to making i t through the de tours!

Keeping your eyes on the fuel tank . . .

ensures you don' t run out of gas!

     Being in the trenches day in and day out can make it difficult to identify what is causing the most struggles in parenting. The one thing about motherhood is that struggles are similar from one mom to the other.       It's with the knowledge of common struggles that I'm going to share five tweaks that can take you from being overwhelmed to overcoming in just a few weeks of consistent implementing.

     I know you are tired of the way you feel when you see your friends dealing with parenting better than you feel you are doing. They seem to have a clean house, their children are always polite, they appear happier than you, and let's not forget, ‘She always has it together‘ thoughts. I know what it feels like to feel like my parentingis insufficient to others. As a mother, who wants the best parenting experience for our family yet it seems that I always get in the way from my own shortcomings.I completely feel your pain.

     In fact, all moms have compared themselves to others and have experienced the downward spiral comparison that hinders our parenting.

     We know we shouldn't compare ourselves to others but we still do it!

     I would become impatient, angry, yelling, and impossible to please all because I had began to compare my life to those I knew and shows I was watching on television. Until one day, I recognized just how much I was hurting the ones I loved the most.

Tweak One - Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

    I needed a solution to overcoming my personal obstacles in parenting and I realized ONE tweak that will get me started… stop comparing yourself to others!

     I made some intentional changes to several areas of my life and little by little my parenting improved because I was learning to be comfortable with who I was as a mom. More importantly, I was becoming more patient, less temperated, learning to control my yelling more, and found small things to praise my family.

Who do you compare yourself to?

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What do you fee l when you compare yourself to

others?

     I know you are tired of the endless bad behavior that requires you to correct and discipline your children. The public tantrums, lying, disobedience, and let's not forget, ‘It's not my fault‘ responses. I know what it feels like to be correcting our children's bad behavior all day long. As a homeschooling mother, who is with our children all day, every day, I have gone through it all. I completely feel your pain.

     Unfortunately, mothers can agree that it is easier to learn bad behavior than good character.

     I remember going to bed in tears some nights because I just didn't have any more to give and desperately desired to just go one day without having to correct our children. I would cry to my husband about just how hard it is to do this day in and day out.

     The next morning, I would wake up refreshed and ready to start off on the right foot but to only have the same results. I was exhausted and overwhelmed with the bad behavior in our home. I know you can relate!

Tweak Two - Add Good Character Vocabulary

    That's when I made one tweak that made the difference… adding good character traits to our children's vocabulary!  

     What I found was that our children began to realize what I had been wanting from them all along because it became a part of our daily vocabulary. With this new vocabulary, our children began to understand what good character was and more importantly, what it looked like in action.

     This one tweak made all the difference in our children, and I no longer went to bed crying over my day.

What are some good character vocabulary you can

add to your day?

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     I know you are tired of the endless poking and prodding just to get your kids moving, which upsets your daily schedule, and shows the lack of direction your children possess. The tantrums, the fits, and the struggles you face just to move from one thing to the next, and let's not forget, ‘I need something‘demands at bedtime. I know what it feels like to feel like you are debating with your children over every part of your day. As a homeschooling mother, who is with her kids 24/7, I completely feel your pain.

     What mom doesn't feel your pain?

     It's too much to deal with on top of all of the other responsibilities of your day.

     I remember the days that chaos ruled our home. It seemed like our children were in charged and I had no clear picture of how to take the control back.

     My days didn't always look like that, though. In fact, when our older two children were younger, our days ran pretty smoothy considering I was out numbered.

Tweak Three - Create Daily Rout ines

    That was when I realized it was because of this one element… daily routines!

     What I found was that adding daily routines back into our lives, as faithfully as I did when our children were younger, gave me the control that I felt I had lost to our children.

     Our children began to recognize a pattern to our day and the chaos began to disappear with this new focus to our days.

     Now our family thrives on daily routines to get so much done in our homeschooling days that I marvel at just how powerful it is to naturally move to the next thing without all the drama we once had in our lives.

What seems l i ek the most natural rout ine in

your day?

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     I know you are tired of the endless dishes, laundry, dusting, and vacuuming. The grocery shopping, the menu planning, the meal prep, and let's not forget, ‘I want a snack‘ requests. I know what it feels like to be the glue that holds your family's necessities in place. As a wife and mother, who has had her fair share of wanting to throw in the towel instead of folding it, I completely feel your pain.

     In fact, all moms share this pain because we balance so much and everyone looks to us for all of the answers.

     It is overwhelming and too much for one person to carry!

     I remember when I felt the burden of it all. I knew I needed to start delegating some things off my plate, before my plate crashed to the floor to break in a hundred pieces.

     It took me a while to learn how to delegate, but over the years, I have found that each family member has a role to play in making a house a home. Without these natural roles in place, the mom feels as though her job is never done, or appreciated.

     I'm so thankful that I found the solution to our problem… a family unit approach!  

Tweak Four - Create a Family Unit

    With this approach playing out in my family, I started to laugh again. Being overworked and unappreciated can take your joy away!

     What I found was that our family was happier than it had been in a while because we all had a role to play in making our house complete. Our children were helping more willingly with each passing week, and their skills where increasing as I learned that a house needs more than a mom to run it well.

     Now, our home is almost always clean and we have more family time, because this family unit approach really works!

What chores can your chi ld do around the house?

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     I know you are tired of the endless bickering, picking, and arguing that goes on between your children. The back and forth tattling, the finger pointing, the constant debating, and let's not forget, ‘it's not fair‘ responses. I know what it feels like to be the constant referee between your children. As a mother, who has been in the middle of the relationship chaos of siblings, I completely feel your pain.

     In fact, all parents share this pain because it is a common part of every family's dynamic, including our own.

     The beautiful picture of our older two children playing happily for hours a day, shattered when I witnessed that first sibling hit.

     Convinced that sibling rivalry wasn't going to dictate our family's dynamics, I became intentional about making our children the best friends they were created to be.

     I knew it all came down to one tweak… they needed to have sibling time each day!

Tweak Five - Create Daily Sibl ing Time

    I did everything I possibly could do to cultivate that love between our children and before I knew it, our children were learning how to work through their differences and protect their friendships.

     In my twenty+ years of parenting siblings, I have found that sibling time has been that ONE tweak that our children needed to share interests and build stronger relationships.

     All four of our children have become each other's best friend and they still make sibling time a high priority in their lives, today. All without any interference on our part.

What th ings can your chi ldren do together?

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