our little pony

8/12/2019 Our Little Pony

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Our Little Pony

Written By

ZAAAHHH


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culture.DICK (CONT'D)

SETHDo you hear what you're sayingright now? Do you really hear it?There's a fucking entire plane

missing, probably over a hundredpeople polishing off the weakestpassengers somewhere in the IndianOcean, and all you want to talkabout is what this 3rd grader woreto school last week??

CARLYes. That's exactly what we want totalk about. And if you think thatsome metal tube full of foreignersis more important than the threats

to manlihood right in your own backyard, well then maybe you need tofind a new network to work for.

SETH(Recognizing the powercards being played)

Well...well if we are going to tryand shape the conversation aroundthe disturbing behavior of today'syoung people, shouldn't we at leastfocus on the bullying issue? I meanisn't the real threat to manlinessthe fact that some children feelthe need to assert their dominancein an abusive way? Or the impulseto strike out with rage at thingsthey don't understand?

JOE(Boiling over with anger,sounding more and moreexasperated with eachthought)

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??! This

little homo is wearing a girly pinkpony backpack to school! And that'snot all! This plays perfectly intothe president's plan to ruin

America. Do you not see the Left'sfingerprints all over this? Firstthey take out prayer in homeroom,now they're making childrenpractically cross dress in public

(MORE)


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just to make a point about soJOE (CONT'D)

called "tolerance?" I'll tell youwhat I don't tolerate! Childsoldiers, fighting on the frontlines of the leftist agenda!

Joe is nearly out of breath from yelling. Flecks ofrage-spittle in the corners of his mouth, he looks as thoughhe may pass out.

SETH(Suddenly, as thoughbrainwashed)

You are totally right Joe. Thisbehavior represents the greatestthreat to our society. The veryfabric of American life is beingunraveled by these quinoa-munching

hobo-lovers. I am going to preparemy opening monologue to make surethere are no remnants of mypreviously weak opinions.

Seth turns and walks away, leaving the rest of the group ina mix of satisfaction and shock (except for Joe, who isstill heaving with anger and staring out into space). As heexits, we can see what seems like a blinking greentriangular light on the back of his neck. The camera closesin on the light, revealing an intricate crystalline patternpulsing with radiation. As the camera pulls away we arelooking at the same pulsating pattern carved into a largestone wall in a foggy cavern. In front of it two hoodedfigures are watching the preceding events play out in acrystal ball.

HOODED FIGURE 1It is all happening as you plannedmaster.

HOODED FIGURE 2Yes master, just as you planned.

The camera pans to a large, dark silhouette atop an ornate

throne made of luminescent triangular crystals. A closerlook reveals a blackened horse-face, covered in scars. TheDark Pony Lord removes his hood, freeing a spastic mane ofbleach blonde fray.

DARK PONY LORDExcellent.


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THE END

our little pony

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