oshkosh: a civil community
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Oshkosh: a Civil Community. The Oshkosh Civility Project April 2011. The Oshkosh Civility Project Major Financial Benefactors. Speak Your Peace Oshkosh!. Credits to: Dr. PM Forni – Johns Hopkins University Truckee-Tahoe Community Foundation Duluth-Superior Area Community Foundation. - PowerPoint PPT PresentationTRANSCRIPT
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Oshkosh: a Civil Community
The Oshkosh Civility Project April 2011
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The Oshkosh Civility Project Major Financial Benefactors
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Speak Your Peace Oshkosh!
Credits to:• Dr. PM Forni – Johns
Hopkins University• Truckee-Tahoe
Community Foundation• Duluth-Superior Area
Community Foundation
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Visit to Truckee-Tahoe CommunityExploration of efforts in Duluth-Superior
• Politics• Letters to the Editor• Blogs – Anonymous and Otherwise• Economic downturn• Mood of the public• High visibility incidents – Rutgers &
Tucson
Getting Started
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• Can’t we do better?• Aren’t we known for friendliness
and hospitality?• We should set a higher mark!• Provide a common framework to
discuss civility-related issues.
Our Goal
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• This is NOT a campaign to end all disagreements … this is a campaign to make it safe to disagree.
• Focus: Improving the character and quality of interpersonal communication.
Let’s Agree to AGREE
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• Involve all major stakeholders• Attract interest ~ secure buy-in• Work small ~ grow bigger• Encourage grassroots interest
& involvement• We are not just targeting those who are
uncivil, but those who allow uncivilized behavior to happen.
Key Strategy
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Choosing Civility• National speaker• Recognized authority• Provide visibility• Conceptual structure
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What we did …• Concern -> ACTION• Core Group• Formulated Plans• Truckee Leadership Breakfast• Forni Community Breakfast• Forni – Library & School Board• Mayor’s Proclamation• Website• Continued outreach/dialogue• Promotional Materials
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Choosing Civility
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Civility in the Public Schools
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A Day of Civil Discussion
Feb. 24 2011 Walter Scott & Mayor Paul Esslinger
The people of Oshkosh were urged to reflect on the importance fundamental values• Respect• Understanding• Compassionbefitting a proud community with a rich history & heritage of an active, engaged, informed and involved citizenry.
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Civility Defined• “Benevolent awareness
of others”• Civil ~ when weave
restraint, respect and consideration into fabric of awareness
• Civil ~ when we care about others and treat them well
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What does civility do?• Strengthens social
bonds• Reduces stress• Increases satisfaction• Increase work quality• Good for relationships• Good for business• Civility does the
“everyday busywork of goodness”
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• >90% of workers experience incivility– 50% lost work time worrying– 13% left the company
• >50% American workforce has high stress levels– >1/3 identifies “people issues” to
cause of stress at work– Workload is #2
• Estimated cost of workplace stress: $300 billion per year
Incivility At work Costs us all
Source: P.M. Forni
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Nine Tools of Civility
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Civility: City & Society“The
Other”
Known Other Group
My Group
Unknown Other Group
Me, Myself
& I
To be Revisited …
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1. Pay AttentionBe aware and attend to the world and the people around you.
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2. ListenMuch of the conflict in our lives can be explained by one simple but unhappy fact: we don’t really listen to each other.
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“We in America have everything we need except the most important thing of all—time to think and the habit of thought.”
Norman Cousins
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3. Be InclusiveWelcome all groups of citizens working for the greater good of the community. Remember to “Invite the Stranger.”
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www.OshkoshCivilityProject.org
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4. Don’t GossipDon’t discount the power of your words.
Speaking with consideration and kindness is at the heart of civil behavior.
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5. Show RespectDisagree without being disagreeable.Respect includes recognizing that others are entitled to look at the world differently.
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The Principle of Respect for Persons
We ought to treat others as ends in themselves rather than as means for
the satisfaction of our immediate needs and desires
PM Forni
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6. Be AgreeableTwo key ingredients for being agreeable in conversation:1. The ability to consider that you might be wrong.2. The ability to admit that you don’t know.
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7. ApologizeBe sincere and repair damaged relationshipsSimple, decent words, that soothe the bruised soul: “I’m sorry.”
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Life today is more about feeling good and less about being good.
“We spend much more time tending to the quality of our emotional lives than to the quality of our moral lives.”
Joshua Halberstam
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8. Give Constructive Criticism
Intention must be to help, not to humiliate.
When disagreeing, stick to the issues & no personal attack!
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9. Take Responsibility Don’t try to shift blame onto others.
Share disagreements publicly.
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Civility: a Model2 Listen
3 Be Inclusive
4 Don’t Gossip!
5 Be Respectful
6 Be Agreeable
7 Apologize
8 Constructive Feedback
1 Pay Attention
9 Take or Accept Responsibility!
Me, Myself
& I“The
Other”
Rela
tions
hip
Focu
s
All Others
Relationship Focus
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Responding to Rudeness• State the facts• Inform the other person
how you were impacted by their actions
• Request that hurtful behavior not be repeated
SIR
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Choose Civility• Engage others• Inform others• Learn from others• Learn with others• Model or establish
ideal communitystandards
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Choose Civility!• It is quite possible to be true to one’s beliefs
and be civil at the same time• The issue is not whether to stand firm or to
compromise, but how to express our firmness
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Just Say YES to Civility
www.OshkoshCivilityProject.org