OPPS!

Russelll C. Endicott1218 Frederick Ave. Salisbury MD 21801

Home Phone; 410-860-5660

Office Phone: 410-543-6075, (please not too early)

In response to application queries:

Position Desired: Gud Job

Challenges Desired: Seek challenges that test my mind and my body, since the two are usually inseparable.

Education:

• Attended University of Vermont 1890-1994• Attended the University of Michigan (will

receive the degree when I pay the tuition I owe.)

• Curses in liberal arts and curses in accounting.

Qualifications:

• Here are my qualifications for you to overlook:• Flunked my CPA with high grades• I was a CFO for a wholesaler of women’s slacks. We

also sold men’s bottoms.• Business skills: Word processing, pitching hay and

shearing sheep• Extensive background in public accounting. I can also

stand on my head.• I am a rabid typist• Precious jobs include:

Work Experience:

• Maintained files and reports, input data and cashed employees’ paychecks.

• Develop and recommend an annual expense fudget

• Dealing with customers’ conflict that arouse.• Experienced with numerous office machines

and can make great lattes.

Reason for Leaving Last Job

• Was met with a string of broken promises and lies, as well as cockroaches

• The company made me a scapegoat, just like my other three employers.

• I was working with my Mom until she decided to move.

• Maturity Leave

Hobbies/Personal Interest:

• Donating blood. 15 gallons so far.

Achievement/Awards and Other Great Entries:

• I have learnt word perfect 8.0 computer and spreadsheet programmers

• Accomplishments: Oversight of entire department

• Responsibility makes me nervous • Strengths: Ability to meet deadlines while

maintaining composer • Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a

Midwest chain store

Notes at the end of some Resumes:

• Minor allergies to house cats and Mongolian sheep

• I am extremely loyal to my present firm, so please do not let them know of my immediate availability

• Please call me after 5:30 as I am self-employed and my employer does not know I am looking for another job.

As seen on some cover letters:

• Thank you for your consideration. Hope to hear from you shorty.

• Let’s meet so you can “ooh and ahh” over my experience.

• You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.• Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget

details.• Exposure to Spanish for two years, but many

words are not appropriate for business.