onlyness
DESCRIPTION
Fiction: Contemporary Romance: Novella (eBook) Dumped by her billionaire fiancé, the Hollywood actress lands herself in all sorts of woes – hospitalization for slipping pill overdose and paparazzi. She escapes to India's Yoga capital but the paparazzi follows. A young yogi bails her out, detours her to an unusual world, introducing her to super consciousness of Onlyness. She thinks she is second time lucky. However, more shocks await her.TRANSCRIPT
Onlyness
By Santosh Jha
**
Copyright 2014 Santosh Jha
Smashwords Edition
**
Other Titles By Santosh Jha
Onlyness (Fiction)
Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero (Fiction)
Autobiography Of A Duffer (Fiction)
Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes (Non-fiction)
Habitual Hero: The Art Of Winning (Non-fiction)
Maya And Leela: Utility In Life‟s Futility (Non-fiction)
Why We Flop In Love (Non-fiction)
Wisdom Of Wellness: Perpetuity Of Poise Of Purpose (Non-fiction)
Decipher Destiny: Decode God‟s Will (Non-fiction)
Youth Sanity In Crazy Culture (Non-fiction)
Redeem & Reinvent The Art Of Lost Wellness
India Beyond Stampede Of Stupidities (Non-fiction)
Karta: Life Inspiring Essays Of Cognition, Consciousness & Causality (Essays)
**
Smashowrds Edition, License Note
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given
away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase
an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it
was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your
own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
**
Disclaimer: This work is an absolute fiction, an outcome of pure imagination of perceived
situations, with the clean purpose of the navigation of a set of life ideas. All characters and their
portrayal are fictitious, with no intentional resemblance to anyone dead or alive. Any semblance
must be accepted as pure coincidence and inadvertent.
**
CHAPTER 1
The singularities of life have elemental eccentricities of happening and un-happening; almost as
weird and randomized as love. The elements of one‟s own life and that of the equally precarious
milieus are both patterned as well as un-patterned. The juxtaposition of symmetrical possibilities
amid the larger probabilistic asymmetry of arbitrary milieus engender such beautiful marvels of
life-living experiences, which people can accept only in one way – the destiny.
A resplendently beautiful woman, the empress of eclectic endowments of extremities of name,
fame and flair, the reigning royalty of Hollywood‟s dream factory, the Oscar winner and highest
paid actor is currently the subject of destiny. Like in love, she is unaware of the cryptic
conspiracies of cosmic causalities, which has landed her in a sleepy small town of Rishikesh in
India, the Yoga capital of the world; thousands of miles away from the colossal clutters of the
Los Angeles, California in United States of America, where she belongs.
Destiny is much like love. Both happen and un-happen and neither way, one is sure whether it is
good or bad. People always search for their destinies as well as love. Both are wired and wielded
within as randomized probabilities. The co-incidence and favorability of elements, somehow
present themselves as pretext for something, which is not an external situation, rather an internal
positioning. The moment, one accepts, love happens and destiny is signed in. Until then,
possibilities hang in balance as un-happening.
Melissa Knowles is also out on a journey, unconsciously in search of her destiny. She and her
resolve has already energized a patterning of causality, which she is innocently unaware of.
However, what destiny has in store for her shall be decided not by factors outside in her near and
far milieus, rather by what she finally accepts as something, which is her own internal
positioning of consciousness.
An empress itself is neither a title nor a person. It is a positioning of consciousness, which is so
much overwhelmed by endowments, both within and outside, that it invariably lands at the eye
of the storm of life probabilities. Most women are born empress. It is an archetypal conspiracy of
cosmic causalities to put women in a conscious positioning of empress. It is only natural that all
elemental probabilities shall look up to the empress for taking commands from her. The empress
therefore is always in tumult. All empires are in turmoil, so is the empress.
It is only a yogi, who can see the patterns, which destinies unravel in the storm as, he is standing
far away from it and happily detached to the cyclicality of cosmic conspiracies of elements. An
empress and yogi together create a brilliant singularity, which holds the potential of unleashing
beautiful probabilities of destinies. The cosmic conspiracy has almost taken a pattern. The
empress has arrived and, the yogi is about to enter the scenario.
The time, space and circumstances have presented a bizarre coincidence. There however is no
element of favorability, which people usually associate coincidence with, for beneficial destiny.
As it is the rule; destinies are situationed one way and an empress has her own elements
positioned the other way. The third dimension of the yogi can add its own causality.
In ancient Indian traditions of Hindu religion, there is said to be a general prohibition of any
good work in a time-space situation, which is referred as „sandhi-kaal‟. It is a time and space
where one is about to end and other is yet to start. This period of transition is considered
inauspicious and unproductive, as all elements of nature are weak and bendable. The weaknesses
of elements aggravate the randomization of probabilities and it is believed, anything getting a
start during the „sandhi kaal‟ shall have calamitous future.
Melissa is innocently unaware that she is starting a new phase of her life in the „sandhi kaal‟.
The wall clock shows 5.30 pm as she waits in an old wooden chair in the corner of a large hall of
the yoga ashram (hermitage) for the Acharya (chief teacher) to arrive. The day has heralded its
departure and night has not yet arrived. There is still enough humidity in the air as it is
September. Rainy season is retreating but the winter has not yet showed up its pink comfort. The
place itself is a junctional situation, as Rishikesh town is situated on the foothills of Himalayan
mountain ranges. The Gangetic plains vanish here but the mountains start beyond the township.
Melissa too is in „sandhi kaal‟ of her life. She left her home in USA after a favorable phase of
life seemed to have ended for her but even in India, she is not yet sure, what new turn she wants
in her life. Sometimes back, she had read about yoga meditation and India seemed not so
unfamiliar to her as once, while she was only six, her father had taken her to Rishikesh and
beyond. She had been fascinated by Himalayas and as her now estranged father, suggested that
she visited Rishikesh and lived in a yoga ashram for some time, she accepted it.
The yoga ashram and the ambience are much beyond the description and pictures her father had
sent her. The serpentine narrow road, which leads to the ashram, has bushes and trees laden with
flowers on both sides, which she does not recognize. The fragrance of the wild flowers and rain-
soaked soil has mixed to give a very earthy aroma, which feels like musk but is more pungent.
The road opens into a slight slope, leading to an undulating valley like terrain, in the middle of
which the ashram is situated.
From three sides of the ashram, the first series of Himalayan mountains rise like ramparts of a
castle. The mountains are not very high and steep and are heavily clad with green trees and
shrubs. Few scattered houses on them look like flags hanging on the trees. There are few
openings between the mountains, making the air gush in. Melissa feels, the wind was not
whispering, rather saying something loudly but amiably. The fourth side of the ashram opens on
the southern side of the Himalayan mountain, where the mighty river Ganges flows with great
force, as it readies itself to touch the plains. The sounds of gushing Ganges waters and mountain
winds create a mesmerizing symphony.
Melissa instantly likes the milieu and settings. For the first time in so many days, she feels calm
and light. Nature‟s own structural symmetry is so full of elemental bounties and
multidimensionality that it offers refuge and reassurance to all emotions and consciousnesses of
all lives. The wide and open vista of landscape, which further extends the limits of horizon,
engenders a feeling of instant wellness to Melissa. The constricted consciousness of Melissa
desperately needs larger and wider space for her emotions to get a free flight of escape. The
synchronous sounds of wind and water penetrate her heart, where silence has started to suffocate
her. She feels filled and free. Something touches her and she just responds by allowing her smile
to get unburdened by her conscious resolve. Destinies do not barge in. They pass by and touch
you by their soft elemental scent. As you do not resist and simply remain positively neutral,
destinies start to unleash their causalities. Melissa has stopped resisting.
As she is received at the ashram gate, ushered in to the main hall and asked to wait for a while as
Acharya was in puja (prayers), Melissa is beginning to feel slightly thrilled with expectations of
something good finally coming her way. Elements of destinies weave a wanton web of
probabilistic causalities. What ends the web connects and what pattern it engenders may be
precarious, however, the subject of destiny always provides the first will, consciously or
unconsciously. Melissa is not only not resisting, she is now expecting!
The local police officer and one staff from the American Embassy, who accompanies Melissa
from Delhi, are busy talking something. The police official is trying to assure the Embassy man
that everything is fine here and there is nothing to worry. He is not even listening and moving
swiftly to assess everything here. He makes some notes on his iPad and then turns to the police
officer making queries. Melissa watches them arguing for a while and then turns her attention to
better things.
She walks up to the other side of the hall, where a large window offers a spectacular view of the
entire ashram few steps below and the mountains beyond. There are several small huts, some
slightly bigger. All of them made of mud and wood, having thatched roofs. There is a small pond
on one side of the huts, in which some ducks are swimming. Many rabbits of different colors are
freely jumping all around. What amazes Melissa is the variety of birds everywhere in the ashram.
There are many pitchers placed on trees beyond the pond and every now and then, some pigeons
either enter them or leave out of the large hole of the pitchers. On all the walls of every hut, there
are many small wooden boxes with small holes on the front side. As Melissa wonders about what
they are, a sparrow comes flying, sits on the box and swiftly sneaks into the hole. Seconds later,
another sparrow follows suit. Melissa thinks, the second one must have been the husband
sparrow, who joined his wife as evening was approaching. She feels something tweaking in her
heart and she begins to look away. A boy enters the hall with three small earthen pots. The police
officer requests her to come and have tea. The embassy man takes two pots and moves towards
Melissa, waiving his hand, gesturing her to stay there. The police officer understood the situation
and moved out of the hall, taking his pot of tea. Melissa has no choice. She cannot avoid the man
as her mother insisted that she would follow the instructions on her safety, as prescribed by the
American Embassy officials.
Her mother calls her up often, even when she is busy campaigning for her election to
Governorship. Her Senator friend, who is rumored to be more than just a good friend, has
ensured that Melissa is under constant security cover of Embassy people. Melissa dislikes him
and would have refused all this but she knows, her mother would do what the Senator would say.
He moved all his official advantages to woo Melissa. The Senator had offered his pad in Paris for
Melissa as alternative to India but she had refused. Melissa has been away from her father, a
university Professor, who lives in London but she knows, she would never wish to have the
senator step in.
In the adjacent room, a 75-year old man is sitting on an elevated platform in dhyanashna
(meditative posture), his eyes closed. He looks very thin and frail but his face radiates calmness
and childlike innocence. The thick and completely white hair and beard too cannot eclipse his
smiling wheatish face. The Acharya rarely meets anyone from outside his ashram but he agrees
to meet Melissa, as she is someone special for him.
A young man, named Shiv, dressed in long white robe is sitting beneath him. He keeps looking
at the face of the old man, as if he is trying to read something from his facial expressions. This
34-year old man is the favorite disciple of the old Acharya and an accomplished yoga master. He
is tall, bright skinned and manly. However, his body has the softness and malleability, which
matches his seemingly boyish face and large feminine eyes. Like a perfect yogi, he has his heart,
mind and body in singular linearity of compassionate being, which makes the body-mind
consciousness a beautifully poised fusion of best of both feminine and masculine elements. This
is in the ideal tradition of Shiva, the transcendental yogi, the ultimate metaphor of
ardhnareeshwar (half male and female).
The Acharya opens his eyes and looks affectionately at the young man, who moves close to him
in anticipation of something precious that the old man may say. The Acharya however picks up a
piece of paper and writes something on it. He extends the paper to the young man. Two lines are
written in Sanskrit, which are essentially a shloka (couplet) from the holy book Geeta. The
Krishna saying the lines to Arjuna, which means – „he who seeks me in whichever disposition, I
meet him in the same facilitative consciousness‟. The young yogi folds the paper and puts it in
his pocket. He accepts the orders of his guru and shall always obey his command enshrined in
the shloka. He touches the feet of the old guru and both rise up to move to the hall, where
Melissa awaits them.
**
CHAPTER 2
Melissa‟s mother is relieved and happy. The early morning call from Melissa extended her the
reasons for it. Melissa talked well and seemed reasonably pleased with her start in India. She told
her about how she liked the place and was satisfied with the beautiful small mud and wooden hut
she was provided for her stay in the ashram. She assured her that she was feeling better and
looked forward to making the best out of the change in her life. She sounded a bit irritated that
the Acharya had excused himself from teaching her because of his poor health and instead
delegated a young man to be with her for any help or, if she wishes, guide her in her learning.
However, the way she described every detail about the ashram and its ambience, Melissa‟s
mother felt sure that she had at least come out of the groove she had plunged herself into, after
her failed suicide attempt, a month back.
She is relieved that the new milieu shall help Melissa come out of her messy past and lead her to
redeem her life back to the tracks. She is happy because now she can afford to take her mind
away from Melissa‟s woes and concentrate on her election campaign. Years back, she had
accepted that Melissa had charted her life good bit away from her and she was just like a
confession box to her. Melissa would never fail to post her of all her wrongs. That surely saved
her life a month back.
They had never talked about it. She learnt it from tabloids that Melissa was dating this billionaire
guy and was growing serious about him. She knew little about the man as she knew, America,
like anywhere else, was having a deluge of young billionaires, who made it by some sudden and
favorable turn of precarious markets, or the public mood for lapping up novelty, or simply
inheriting a business empire. The mother and daughter had sort of, made an unwritten covenant;
Melissa never talked to her about the Senator, the new man in her life and they never talked
about her dad, whom her mother divorced when Melissa was only 12. She in turn never
questioned any of her decisions, personal or professional. Anyway, since her teen days, Melissa
would tell her straightaway, if she did something wrong or terrible. On that terrible night too,
when Melissa swallowed the sleeping pills, she instinctively typed her mother a message on her
mobile phone, before she slipped away. This saved her.
Once again, she discovered all facts and fiction about her daughter‟s current situation from the
morning newspapers. She was out of danger but still sleeping in her hospital bed. She did not
have the occasion to know what made her do it. The front-page tabloid cover stories at least
made it clear that the billionaire guy had dumped her for a younger girl, who was an upcoming
model. Reports quoted Melissa‟s unnamed friend divulging it all and alleging that Melissa had
no inkling about all his and as the guy dumped her on phone late evening, Melissa could not take
the sudden abandonment and the way it was handed over to her, taking the extreme step.
She had asked the doctor, who supervised Melissa in the emergency, about her condition and
state of mind and what the doctor told, had made her a bit confident. The doctor was a specialist
and he assured her that Melissa had not done it to end her life. It was more of an angry reaction
and could have been avoided, if she had people around her at the time of the impact of the
suddenness of the news. He assured her that Melissa had not lost it, she was probably more angry
than deeply hurt. “She is a brilliant girl, an accomplished performer. All good actors instinctively
know how to enter into the skin of a role and then come out of it clean, after the end of the shot”,
the doctor said with a touch of professional tone in his voice, leaving her relaxed.
The worst was however yet to come. The crowd became unmanageable outside the hospital and
the media people growingly pushed limits. The police guards inside the hospital intercepted a
nurse, suspiciously moving around the special room, where Melissa was kept. She was a
journalist and wanted an exclusive picture of Melissa on hospital bed. The police had tough time
cordoning off the hospital gate for other patients. By evening, the tabloids had all sorts of stories
to tell and suddenly, it looked like Melissa had so many friends, which the tabloids quoted as
close ones, about whom even Melissa‟s mother had no idea. On television, breaking news had
been replaced by panel discussions on all aspects of the event; from the trend of suicide in
America to the history of Hollywood splits. Everyone, from media, average people, fellow
celebrities or politicians seemed to know much more about Melissa and her inside stories than
her own mother.
The media had a double dose of entertainment to dish out to gossip bazaar. Melissa was still in
hospital and stories about her state of being and future were top stories. However, every story
had a second lead story of how Melissa‟s mother was having a tough time as her daughter is
doomed and her political career had received a jolt, before it could even take off. Stories carried
her opposition leaders questioning the credibility of her as mother, who could not care her only
daughter and was not even available at the time when her daughter needed her the most. They
questioned the credibility of her abilities as leader.
Melissa‟s mother was not at all worried about media and possible troubles on her political career.
She was a fighter and even loved and relished her warrior attitude. Like most women, who have
to face the tough world full of hypocrisies and conflicts all alone, she felt rather thrilled and
happy fighting it out. Winning becomes pleasantly intoxicating and struggle to win extends the
much-needed nourishment and replenishment to the subconscious pride of egoistic
consciousness. The media barrage and political onslaughts had surely filled her up with
excitement and she had already sketched her counter-plans in her mind. What held her back was
her bewilderment with Melissa factor. She was at loss how to face Melissa and how to strike a
conversation with her on the entire mess up.
She and Melissa had never been in such a situation of unsettled emotions. Melissa erred even
earlier and often landed herself in some trouble but Melissa simply informed her and it was
perfectly understood between them that Melissa would herself handle it. She just had to tell her
that she understood and appreciated. There never was the need for either of them being
emotional and in need of intimate conversation. She understood that this time around, Melissa
would probably need her as a mother and not just a „friend‟, who only received unilaterally. The
later arrangement was something she was always more comfortable with, rather than being
happy about it, in all these years.
Intimacy and emotional oneness with someone is toughest in relationships when it suddenly
comes up as a „need‟ and the required linkages and past precedents, to make it happen, is missing
for years. She needed some quiet moments alone and space to mull over how she would perform
and present herself, when Melissa would gain consciousness and she would have to face her. She
weighed her words but kept shuffling with them as they failed to satisfy her. Probably silence
would be a better choice, she thought but even this option looked insufficient. The trouble was
that she was not sure, how Melissa would take her words, in her current state of mind. When life
occasions the larger and real utility of words, their futility is the first realization. But, it is too late
then. People seldom practice communication and expressions beyond the convenience of words
in daily life. Words make good business; however has little utility, as carriers of deep and true
emotions. Somehow, people are always happy with business of life and care a little about good
utility and value of life.
Such is the cosmic construction that what one seeks desperately is what one usually gets. The
nature meets him or her in a similar facilitative and catalytic consciousness. The subject‟s
disposition and conscious positioning creates a „gravitational pull‟, which draws synchronous
and symmetrical elements of cosmos for facilitation. However, by the time attainments and
endowments happen; there usually being a time lag; the subject‟s disposition & consciousness
shifts to different plane. Usually, what initiates desire as expression of utility of attainment, ends
up as futility, when endowment attains finality. This conflict is cosmic construction. It authors all
stories of different „protagonists‟, „plots‟, „preface‟ and „progression‟. People being theatres of
the enactment of stories, are bound to have a false belief of „pride of possession‟. However, life
itself has the last story.
Melissa‟s mother felt low and even irritated at her predicament. Her political career had lots of
credit to her fine oratory skills. Her pride possession was her spontaneous and melodramatic
speeches, which even her adversaries admitted, connected her audience with her magical charm.
She knew where it touched people and spared no words to do it often, while she rattled her words
in stupendously inter-woven series. However, sitting outside the ICU of the hospital, waiting for
her daughter to come to senses, she had no choice to be honest to herself and admit that she had
missed the natural touch of being a mother, even when she proved herself to be a brilliant
politician. As time ticked away, she prayed for a miracle to show her a way.
Melissa‟s father finally managed to get past the crowd in front of the hospital gate and convinced
a police officer to take him to her inside. Melissa‟s mother could not believe, he was standing in
front of her. She could not understand what to say and how to react. Finally, she broke down and
wept like a child. He kept assuring her that the worst was over and everything would take a new
and good beginning. He took charge of everything within minutes. He arranged a room for her,
asked her to sleep, advising the doctors to administer a mild sedative to her. He took it on to
himself to see that he is there when Melissa opens her eyes, asking her to relax and try to sleep.
Melissa‟s mother was relaxed. She knew, he was meticulously systematic and brilliant at
handling tough situations. She also felt, Melissa too would be better off seeing her father first up.
The element of unexpectedness would probably help her be at ease, not seeing her mother but
her father instead. She was not sure, whether she should say sorry first or thanks to Melissa‟s
father. She dozed off thinking about it as the sedative took her in.
**
CHAPTER 3
Melissa wakes up at 5.30 in the morning and gets ready for her first day of yoga session. The
night conversation with the young yogi is still in her mind. The Acharya assigned him to her for
all her training and anything she wished to know and learn. The old man could not speak much
in English but said to her that her father was a benefactor of the yoga ashram, therefore, she
would be provided with special facilities. The young yogi was assigned for her personal and
exclusive training and help.
The young yogi had come to her cottage the previous night and asked her if she was interested in
learning yoga meditation. He had asked her to tell him why she had thought of coming here,
what she wished to learn and anything particular she wanted to know about. She had no ready
answer and seeing her baffled, the yogi had asked her to tell him next morning. She thought
about it. She was not sure whether he knew about her or her recent past. She could not make up
her mind whether to tell him everything or not. She thought, if she told her that she was feeling
very low and her father sent her here to redeem and rejuvenate in a completely unknown milieu,
he might think very poorly of her. As she readies to leave her cottage to see the yogi, she makes
up her mind.
Two large mats are laid under a huge mango tree, around two hundred meters away from the
ashram. In the backdrop, light red shade has appeared in the sky atop the mountains. The
morning light is sufficient to see the meandering narrow pathway, cleared of grass, leading to the
mango tree. Melissa can see the young yogi is sitting in a meditative body posture and facing
him, good ten feet away is a mat meant for her. She sits on it and feels the sensation in her heart.
The breeze was comfortably cool and there was a mix of aromas around. It was a new experience
for her. The elements of nature have started to nudge her senses and the resultant shades of
consciousnesses make her happily baffled, as she has not met theses elements in such raw and
close proximity earlier.
“What should I call you?”, Melissa starts the conversation.
“Call me Shiv”.
“No, I mean, if there is a particular norm or way to call teachers here, I shall do it. I wish to
follow all norms here.”
“Shiv is okay”, he says in a low but deep voice. “There are no norms and rules. You have to
follow what makes you have improved and deeper audience with yourself. You should also
accept that I am not your teacher; I am just a facilitator. As I had asked you earlier, you must be
sure, what made you come here, what you wish to know and attain. I shall simply facilitate.”
Melissa keeps looking at his calm face. He has large eyes and Melissa had noticed that they had
a feminine appearance. He always talked in low but deep resonating voice. His tall and well-
toned body had soft looks and his long sleek hands always gestured, while he said something.
What amazed Melissa most about him was his lips, which moved very little, when he spoke. As
Melissa had rehearsed, she tells him that she came here because her father wished her to spend
time in a place near nature and learn good things about yoga.
“You know Shiv”, she says, trying her best to match his tone and style. “I am happy with this
place but I really do not know what I can learn about yoga and anything else, which could be of
benefit for me. I think, you have to be more than just a facilitator to me and actually be my
teacher.”
“Melissa, there is an old proverb, which says; nobody can teach anything to anyone, however,
anyone can learn anything. The idea is, learning is a receptive mechanism of consciousness and
this reception is in the part of the receiver, not the dispenser. Knowledge, wisdom or ideas are
scattered all around. What becomes your learning is what sinks in within your consciousness and
that happens when you accept and happily receive something as utility.”
“You mean to say that I must have the clarity of notion about what has utility and benefit for me
as this alone can make me learn something? But what about kids, who do not know what is good
for them. At the start, someone must decide for them what is good or bad. The parents and
teachers do it for them.”
“I agree. Being a child is considered the most suitable state of consciousness for learning. They
have the innocence of objective faith and that makes reception as something very natural and
spontaneous. From mind perspective, they do not have anything to unlearn and that is why
anything, which is there for them, becomes their automatic learning. This too is not ideal but
beautifully facilitative. A child has no option but to accept everything he or she is doled out as
learning. However, when maturity comes at a later stage of life, they have more difficult task of
unlearning a lot many things, which they made a part of their knowledge pool. You are not a
child, though innocence of faith still holds out as a good useful facility for you. You already have
evolved and matured in a particular way. For you, there are sets of utility and ideas of
beneficiality, which may be subjective to you but they are very much part of your consciousness.
Even when you put in an innocent faith of a child, a new learning, which does not work out to be
in linearity with your already accepted domains of utility and beneficiality, cannot be accepted
by your subconscious mind.”
Melissa looks deep into his eyes. She is not sure. The man is a mystery to him. His voice and
mannerisms are very assuring and the way he puts in his words, seems very honest and sincere.
However, what he said, she could not clearly understand and that is why, there is a sense of
confusion in her about how she should take him. For a woman, judging comes natural. She has to
be very sure of the deep intent of a man she would rest her faith on. It is her instinct. Nature
designed her this way. Here, she is not even sure what this man is actually wanting from her.
Does he want her to have faith in him? Does he intend to lead her to a trap situation, where she
could drop her guard and get influenced by his ways? Is he scheming something? What is he up
to?
He accepts her silence. He of course has a scheme for her; surely wants something out of her. He
smiles and this makes her more suspicious. She finds it hard to hide her emotions. He is reading
them all, as morning light is now good enough to make her face gleam.
“Melissa, this is the difference. A child is an option-less receptor. We as grownups are used to
relying more on our intelligence than our innocence. We are adept at option building.
Intelligence is all about option building over probable shades of a meaning, which a set of words
install. That is why I said, you already have a wisdom in your consciousness, which has been
useful and beneficial to you so far. May be, somewhere, it could not be helpful to you, in
protecting and prolonging your interests; I cannot say with surety as I do know nothing about
your life and past. However, I believe, utilities are neither created nor dumped overnight. If you
could decide, what you think is in your extended utility, I shall have the ease in facilitating them
to you.”
Melissa feels relieved that he does not know anything about her and her past. She can now make
her moves better. However, she is still not sure, what she wants new in her life. She thinks, she
can take a chance with him. May be, she should let him take her where he wishes to and then
have a judgment later, whether she can trust him or not.
“You do not need to stress yourself over what I have been saying. This surely is not my purpose.
You need to trust me on that. I must tell you that your father has been a very special person for
this ashram and Acharya. We all just wish to make your stay here very meaningful and useful for
you. It is good that you have liked this place and happy about your stay here so far. So, you can
take your time to decide what you wish to attain out of your sojourn here.”
“Thanks Shiv, I appreciate your words. May be you are right, I need some time to think.”
“I wish to tell you something, which I request you listen with innocence and not intelligence. I
told you I could not be your teacher, not because of any ego or negativity. For humanity, wisdom
is not yet a finality; probably it can never be. I have been trained in many things, including yoga
but I know that everything is evolving and new insights into all wisdoms are being added. Being
a teacher means; I know and can give you that. This however is not true. Learning is always on
for me. As I said, I can just be a facilitator. You can know so many things here and from me.
However, what utility they could be is what you make of. That is why I have been insisting that
you decide everything. Life learning is no curriculum and cannot be institutionalized. You frame
your questions and I shall attempt to give you answers to the best of my abilities. Then again,
you have to come up with more questions to settle down to the utility and fruition of the answers,
which you may accept as beneficial to you.”
“What if I do not have questions? Why can‟t answers be accepted as surety of utility?”
“Then it shall fall in some different domain, which shall be more difficult for you and probably,
this shall lead you to more confusion. It shall be the domain of complete trust and faith. You
shall start accepting what I tell or extend to you as knowledge. Your mind already has lot many
referrals for good and bad, right and wrong, utility and futility. The new knowledge may stand in
conflict and contradiction to your referral-pool, resulting in confusion and more conflicts. This
approach is amenable only for kids, who do not have previous referrals in their mind. They
accept what is given. Only when they grow and mature, they prune it and unlearn as per their
rationality of subjective utility. You have already matured in a particular way. You are not a
blank mind.”
“Okay, but you will help me with questions too?”
“I told you, I am a facilitator. I shall facilitate everything for you but you have to be the finality
on the utility of the ultimate beneficiality of anything you accept as learning.”
“Why you insist on me having to be the finality? I think, if you have acquired knowledge after
years of training and persevered learning, you can confidently extend to me as good thing?”
“Melissa, what stays with you as wisdom is what your mind accepts and internalizes as utility for
your larger wellness. Old wisdom says, nothing external to you actually exists and what you
internalize is the only reality. We shall talk about it later. Let me say that you can start on this
hypothesis of mine, to build a theory, which you can challenge later, if you do not find it useful
for you.”
“Okay, I accept. So, what is next for the day?”
“Yes. Close your eyes, sit in a way you feel comfortable, keep your body perfectly erect and still
like a rock. Try to switch off your mind, concentrate on your breath, feel it going deep down
your body and going away. Gradually, let the feeling sink in that you are one with the nature
around. If you start feeling any pain, stop and go for a walk.”
She follows the instructions. As she closes her eyes, her mind starts racing up thoughts after
thoughts. She gets mired into them, completely forgetting to focus on her breathing. In a few
minutes, her back starts aching. She opens one of her eyes to see what he is doing. She sees her
walking towards the ashram. She rises and starts to walk away from him. She needs to address to
her thoughts. Too many issues on a single day and she has to make up her mind.
**
CHAPTER 4
Melissa spends good part of the day meeting different people of the ashram, asking them what
brought them here and what they were learning. She finds a strange commonality. Most came
here after they had trouble in their lives. Their focus was taking to yoga meditation and spiritual
way of life to come out of their sadness and emotional instability. They felt, their worldly
troubles would be settled, if they gave themselves in to spiritual ways. They were given a
regimen and they followed it, without asking anything.
Melissa feels bad that she is also part of the crowd. She also came here after a mishap in her life.
She consoles herself that she came here just to escape from the chaos back home. She did not
need a cure but just peace of mind and a place where people could not recognize her and her
past. She however realizes that she is being given a special status and that is why, she was
provided an exclusive trainer and he is not making her follow a fixed regime. Rather, he is being
good enough to leave it on her discretion as what and how she wishes to get benefit out of the
available resources. She feels more assured of Shiv and his persistence as she begins to
understand that he is treating her differently and in some special way.
Late evening, she calls her mother and as expected, her mother has nothing assuring to tell her.
She rather asks her to enjoy the nature and peace. She tells her that learning is always optional. If
she feels unsure about it, she should tell Shiv that she does not wish to learn anything specific
and she would pick up on her own, if she thinks there is something she can learn there. She even
suggested that she should ask her father about it, as he knew the place and people.
Melissa calls her father and tells him about her predicament. She asks him to help her. She tells
him that she is very comfortable here and as her mother said, she also thinks, learning is optional
for her as what she wants is peace and anonymous life for some time, which she has already
attained here. She tells him that she thinks, she can spend a month here and get back to her best
self as the natural environment and plenty of time with herself shall make it happen. He assures
her that he would give it a thought and would share his views, sending her an e-mail within an
hour. An hour later, she reads the mail:
Dear Melissa,
I am not averse to endorsing your views, as what matters is your peace and wellness. It is good
that you have liked the place. I talked a short while ago to both Acharya and Shiv and they too
feel, you should focus on what makes you feel good and in touch with your inner wellness. That
is why Shiv has been insisting that you decide it.
However, I must tell you what I would do if I were in your place and as I have been visiting this
place, I have actually done it there.
Melissa, you have been born and brought up in America and this country has been a great model
of modernity and scientific ideas. However, many in America feel, everything is not fine with
this exclusivity of worldview. They feel, it is a case of too much too soon for America. In the
history of civilizations, America is relatively a new nation. It has a history and culture of
modernity but does not have ancient ones. You as an American have little idea of what precious
things ancient cultures and civilizations have given to humanity. The place you are, India, had
thriving and very intelligent civilization dating back 5000 years. Indian culture, philosophies,
religion, spiritualism, social ideas etc are well documented and they have immense utility now.
Even contemporary and modern science has now become highly assimilative and integrative of
all these ideas.
For example, what most Americans and western world understands of Yoga is just a set of
physical postures (asanas) and meditation techniques. However, Yoga is one of the most
evolved, highly objective and even very scientific philosophies. What the western world takes of
Yoga is only its spiritual and health benefits. Yoga however is one beautiful and complete way
of life – a highly assimilative worldview, which has immense benefit for larger humanity in
modern age of materialist and consumerist consciousness.
Science is still working on the core mechanism of human consciousness and sense of subjective
self. In their search, new science has now accepted the integration of philosophies and
spiritualism as it is now a wider belief that realism of this world and human lives cannot be
understood by restrictive and singular methodology of pure science of physics and biology.
When I am in the ashram, I just sit with Acharya and listen to him. I ask him whatever comes to
my mind and then assess what he says. An individual‟s consciousness is ever-evolutionary
realism and is somehow a function of interaction between mind and milieus. More you extend
the horizon of your milieu of awareness, larger and stronger becomes the boundaries of your
consciousness. This process is what ancient wisdom terms as „learning‟ and not what we refer to
in modern context of institutional learning in schools, colleges and other institutions. This
learning is true life-learning and this benefits in the sense that it lands you closer and closer to
the ultimate bliss of life and living, beyond available external matters. This bliss inside the
higher consciousness is where one reaches and stays forever.
You do not actually have to think in terms of learning. Acharya has assured me that the young
yogi named Shiv is well versed with not only Yoga philosophy and traditions but also is very
knowledgeable person in entire oriental culture as well as modern traditions. I think, if you just
open up yourself to receive whatever is there in India as something new and unique for you, you
can come back as considerably rejuvenated person. Somehow, you have to trust the young yogi.
Still, it has to be your decision.
Just relax, open up and try to enjoy whatever new realisms come your way, while you stay there.
Your dad.
Melissa reads it twice. She is not sure what her dad wants but she is sure that dad has faith in
Shiv and he thinks this young yogi has something, which she can benefit from. She thinks of
meeting the Acharya but it is already late. She walks to the pond and sits there for a while
thinking.
She contemplates what her dad said, in his letter about American worldview being
predominantly modernist and scientific and realism being beyond this worldview. She cannot
relate this idea with her own wellness and benefit. May be, she thinks, dad is right when he says
that western worldview is overly modernist because it is relatively new; but how the Indian
ancient worldview can add to her wellness. The world she has seen and lived has given her
everything. What happened to her is an accident that can happen to anyone. Why then dad feels
she can be better off if she opens herself to new worldview, that too, thousands of years old.
She doubts such ancient and old ideas can have any relevance in contemporary modern world.
And why he says science is accepting ancient ideas in its new approach. How can science relate
to those old and outdated ideas, which were formulated by people thousands of years back, when
they had almost no knowledge of even basic facts about the world and life? She is not sure but
she feels world over people are accepting scientific and modernist ways of life and this is surely
not reversible. She thinks, her dad made her more confused instead of solving her predicament.
Still, she believes her dad cannot be wrong, as in the last one month she could see how he took
care of her and was always present, when she needed him the most, leaving everything behind in
London for her. She walks back to her cottage and tries to sleep. She decides that she would take
the call next morning.
Melissa was a brilliant child. Her father had realized quite early that Melissa observed things
very minutely and was real genius at picking up subtle and latent intents as well as energies. She
was only five or six years of age, when he would take her to places with him and she would
silently observe people, events, places and activities. Later, she would ask him questions, which
would amaze him but he was extremely happy to answer her in a way as if he was lecturing his
postgraduate students. He treated her like an empress and made her imbibe all those behavior and
action mannerisms, which suited an empress.
Melissa‟s dad had a plan for her. He knew what was in store for him in his marital front and he
wished to ingrain a character and personality in her, which she could grow even when he would
not be with her. He treated her like an empress and intentionally chose to associate her with only
those things and ideas, which were not mainstream and populist. He had a notion that many, who
chase populism, in turn get chased by psychosis. He wanted Melissa to develop a sense of
distaste for whatever was populist and mainstream in society so that when she would grow up,
she could remain shielded from the malaise of populism and related psychosis.
The inevitable somehow got delayed to his amazement and Melissa‟s mother finally divorced
him when Melissa had turned 12. She took her to USA, where her parents lived and where she
belonged. Melissa‟s dad was very satisfied. He had been successful in creating a subconscious
layer in his daughter‟s mind, which he knew should always be her first instinct, whenever she
would face any crises and conflict in her life. It already showed up. As Melissa left her dad‟s
home in London, she said nothing, silently observed her mother and father.
As she was about to leave, her father went down on his knees in front of her, held her hands and
kissed them softly and she remained rooted, showing no signs of unsettled emotions, like an
empress. Her father looked at her and said smiling, “Melissa, always remember your dad‟s
words. An empress is one who rules the people and is never ruled by them. People may be
unkind and bad to you or in general, as they are just common people. But, you are an empress. In
grief and joy, you have to be always above them, showing only forgiveness and compassion. An
empress is an empress because she receives her sustenance for goodness not from people; rather
it is within her soul. Always keep your soul in a special way, making it a mark for the people to
follow. Never allow it to do what people do as an empress is always special and rules over
people by being naturally above them.”
She kept looking at his face for a while, without blinking her eyelids, even while her mother
waiting for her in the car honked. She moved her right arm gradually, tapped her dad‟s left
shoulder gently and turned to walk towards the waiting car. After a few steps, she came back to
him and gently wrapped him with her white shawl. She pushed his chin up with her tender hands
and then finally walked away from him. He attempted in vain to hold back his tears of deep
assurance that his daughter shall always remain an empress, he wished her to be. Melissa showed
no tears. She gently waived at him as the car moved away.
The next 16 years, Melissa‟s dad could know little about her. Her mother ensured that she grew
up totally away from his influence. In the last three years however, he could know lot more about
her from the gossip magazines and tabloids.
Melissa‟s mother had never liked her dad pampering her like an empress. She made Melissa live
a common girl‟s life in USA and pushed her in to everything, which the popular culture lined up
for every teenager her age. Melissa never complained nor did she ever resist anything. However,
she could never be part of anything around her in the milieu. Melissa‟s mother would receive
complaints from her teachers about her exclusivity and non-assimilative behavior and attitude.
As she grew, she was labeled more as a maverick than a stupid dumb. She never was an
iconoclast but kept her exclusivity very much afloat in all aspects and areas of her life.
As Melissa‟s mother got fed up with her ways and gradually got busy in her career, Melissa and
her mother developed an easy relationship of peaceful non-interference in each other‟s life.
Later, when Melissa moved to another city for her studies in acting and movie making, both
shared their lives through sms and e-mails. Melissa made it a point to tell her if there was
something wrong with her. This was just out of her notion that she must be informed about her
troubles as it might have repercussions on her, she being her mother. Like an empress, she kept
most things to her. Deep inside her subconscious, her dad survived like a royal guard, who
always reminded her, “An empress is an empress because she receives her sustenance for
goodness not from people; rather it is within her soul”.
Probably, in the last three years, when she landed herself in the mainstream of celebrity business,
she lost touch with her original skin. The sudden spate of name, fame and huge money as well as
her self-worth in the mass-driven populist world of glitter and glamour probably made her drift
away from her instinctive fortress of exclusivity. It was in such state of indecisiveness that she
allowed a rush of people in her life and one of them was this billionaire young man. It was he
who sneaked into her life and in her drift, may be, she allowed him access to her house and later
in her life.
Melissa was always a slow person and as her dad had instilled in her a consciousness of an
empress; she excelled when she took things in a highly selective way and dealt it with royal
details of attention and purpose. However, after her second movie fetched her Oscars and she hit
the mega celebrity status overnight, it was surely far too much, she was prepared to handle in a
possible royal way. She gave in to this swarm of unsettling populism and for over a year, she
could feel, first time in her life, things happened to her and not the usual way, when she
consciously chose things and made them happen in her own royal ways.
She drifted and gradually, her royal guard inside her; her dad‟s consciousness, started to take a
backseat. Success made her mother come close to her and as her mother was a true icon of
populism, Melissa too started to get in touch with a culture of following all those benchmarks,
which populism lines up for every mega successful person. Thankfully, the billionaire man in her
life, on whom she had started to rely, chose to dump her and first time in her life, she did
something, which her dad had foreseen way back and had warned her against. She ceased to be
an empress on that fateful night when she took overdose of sleeping pills and behaved like a
populist icon. This did not kill her but her dad was happy to notice that the accident surely ended
a journey, which Melissa had dangerously embarked on, much against her character and
consciousness. Melissa was equally agitated over her act and had realized that she needed to
redeem herself and relocate her life to the road she had always taken in her life. She was quickly
back to her consciousness as an empress but her empire was still in trouble. She wanted a break
from everything that surrounded her and as her dad proposed a stay at a Yoga Ashram in India,
she liked the idea. She also knew, she needed to trust her dad more now. She had found her
again.
**
CHAPTER 5
Melissa sleeps till late in the morning. She is expected to be with Shiv for her daily sessions at
six in the morning but it is already seven when she wakes up by knock at her cottage doors. It is
Shiv asking whether she is fine. She looks at the watch, extends her apology to Shiv and asks
him to come in. He asks her to take her time to get fresh and ready, as he would wait outside. She
comes out of her bed and opens the doors for him. She insists Shiv to come in.
“Shiv, I am terribly sorry for being late. I slept late at night and forgot to put alarm on the clock.”
“I know. I understand. You do not need to be sorry. Your father had called me last night. I
anyway was going to tell you that you do need to take it easy. I believe, you should relax and not
trouble yourself with issues, which can be happily postponed. Important it is that you feel well
and in complete harmony with your consciousness. We can start when you are ready.”
“Thanks Shiv, I appreciate your patience with me. Are you busy? Can you sit with me for a
while?”
“Sure. I need to tell you that you are special for us here in this Ashram and you should always
keep it in your mind that if I and facilities here could be of any help to you, we all shall be too
happy.”
Melissa sits on her bed assessing what Shiv said, as he moves out and calls someone to bring the
morning tea for her. She asks herself, is he being especially kind and good to her or he is the way
he is? She finds no reason to distrust him and as her father wished her to trust him, she thinks,
she can take some initiatives with him.
“Shiv, can I ask you something personal”, Melissa asks him looking at the cup of tea, which he
offers her.
“Questions are always good if answers are accepted with innocence of mind consciousness”,
Shiv replies with a smile, which makes her relaxed.
“Are you what you are with me or are you being something out of your way to me just because
you said, I am a special guest here because of my dad?”
“I shall give you the honest answer but I request you that whatever shall come to your mind after
listening my answer, you shall tell me”.
Melissa nodded in affirmative.
“Most people are usually two persons within one body. They move between consciousnesses as
per their elements of nature and nurture. You can call these elements as instincts and culture.
Most of their lives, people behave and act in a way, which at one point of time is available for
decision to their minds – an autonomous mix of their nature and nurture. I have been very lucky
that I have been trained to be largely independent of both these elements. This enables me to
have a facility where neither instinct, nor my cultural elements decide my long-term conscious
behavior and acts. Rather, in my deep consciousness, I myself decide, what should ideally
present the decision-matrix for my mind. This enables me to have infinite shades of personalities.
Usually, I am a reclusive person but it has been my practice to be a mirror personality to the
person I interact with. That helps me reach the person and be of help and utility to him or her.
This neutrality, objectivity and plasticity of consciousness is a position of compassion, from
where one becomes a catalyst for wellness to others, even while retaining his or her own true self
deep inside.
“Shiv, If I ask you, can you be with me what you are in your usual way, I mean what is your true
nature and personality, is it wrong to ask?”
“No, it is not wrong. I told you, it is your choice, which matters to us. However, the issue at hand
is your benefit and utility. What I am is what suits me in my own worldview. It however may not
be what may benefit you. You are here for a short time and your father told us that you wish to
have a quiet and leisurely time here. It is therefore important that you decide what we can do or
what we should not, which could make your stay here more meaningful and beneficial for you.”
“Shiv, you say you are with me to help me get the most out of my stay here. You also said that
any question I ask would be right if I accept their answers with innocence. Well then, I assure
you that I shall accept all your answers with innocence and now I ask you to be with me what
you are in your true and natural consciousness.”
“Okay, I accept.”
“Well, now that you have accepted it I ask again, tell me how you attained this facility of being
the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your decision-matrix at any
point of time in your life.”
Shiv smiles at her question. He could not see it coming this soon. He is rather happy that Melissa
picked that up so smartly. He however wishes to be sure.
“Melissa, are you sure you wish to ask this question because the answer cannot be simple and
short. You shall have to go into so many details about related issues then only you can reach to
the right answers. And, all throughout, you shall have to keep your innocence as well as faith
intact that you are heading to the right answers.”
“This is rather good for me. My dad thinks, there are so many things that I can learn here and he
believes you have loads of them. It is always good that one question can lead me to a wider field
of details and possible learning. I think, once you introduce me to different ideas, I shall have the
ease in picking up what you say shall be of utility for me. I really think, I have chosen the right
question”.
“It is good that you are confident of your question. However, this is only one small part of the
overall preparations for reception of answers. As I told you, learning comes natural and easy for
kids but for grownups, the toughest part is unlearning. You already have an established
worldview and the culture you have lived in and have been successful in, have ingrained deep in
your subconscious. Your subconscious mind already has loads of referrals, which automatically
comes up before your mind consciousness as primary decision-matrix for right and wrong. It
shall need huge amount of innocence and trust within you, which could help you override your
instinctive as well as cultural decision-matrix for the utility and fruition of any new answers and
learning. The stage where you rise above the elements of nature and nurture starts with initially
forced consciousness of innocence and faith. Later, it becomes an automatic and first instinct
after lots of practice, enabling smooth assimilation of new learning.”
It is long discourse for Melissa and as words queued up for entry into her mind, she keeps quite
for a while. She understands only a part of what Shiv said, still grappling with many words, he
said. He is closely watching her face and reads her well.
“Melissa, the first innocence is acceptance of the fact that mind is not omnipotent. It is a poor
processor of information it is fed from different sensors of body. You first need to consciously
put ahead your innocence like a kid and say with child-like simplicity that you did not
understand something. Your mind cannot process an input, which it does not already have in its
memory of experiences. You speak French to me and I won‟t even blink as my mind cannot
process it. Secondly, when you say you could not understand it, you need to have total faith in
yourself that you shall never take it as your ignorance. There is nothing called ignorance in this
universe. It is just that all minds receive something for the first time and then only it becomes
available for subsequent value summation.”
“Yes Shiv, you are right. I am beginning to understand that while I am with you, there shall be
many firsts for my little mind. Probably, dad is right as he told me that while in USA, I have
experienced only one side of the larger worldview. He said, I needed to be exposed to different
worldviews. Be sure, now on I shall always tell you if I do not understand anything. As you said,
I shall make a conscious effort to make my innocence upfront.”
“It is not that you do not know something. Everything is within us therefore, in true sense,
everything is available for you to know that I can ever know. The only difference is, both you
and me have a large piece of land full of diamonds. I was fortunate to have a mind training,
which enabled me to dig them out and bring them on surface. Your diamonds are there too, but
still beneath the land, which you can dig out, whenever you like.”
“Shiv, let me tell you this, not with innocence of a child but out of a woman‟s curiosity to make
this diamond metaphor a bit simpler for me. I want my diamonds. I know you may have plenty
of them but I can be happy with one large one”, she said smiling.
“You shall have plenty of them. Diamonds actually belong to women.”
“Then make this digging thing simple for me to understand.”
“This is the core trouble with all enterprises of life. There can never be one simple aspect of
anything. Things always are multidimensional and it takes a convergence of all these dimensions
at one point of time to create a utility. For example, everyone has a piece of land full of
diamonds, however, only that person shall begin to dig for it, who has the knowledge that
diamonds are precious. Otherwise, it is just a stone. If a farmer has this land who does not know
the worth of diamonds and is obsessed with fertility of his soil for cultivation, shall throw them
away along with other pebbles and weeds. Other farmer may have the knowledge of the worth of
diamonds but he may not have the knowledge that in nature, diamonds do not come as polished
and shining. He shall dig and even find them but still throw them away taking them as any other
useless stone. Another farmer may be knowledgeable of all these still, he may not have the
patience to dig deep and discern between real diamond and loads of other stones that may come
up during digging. He may stop digging mid-way. In digging wisdom, we all face such troubles.
It takes multidimensional elements of preparations and readiness, all being in one person at some
point of time, for the treasure of diamonds to become available.”
“At which stage of preparedness and readiness, you think I stand?”
“It is a difficult decision. You know the best. What I wish to tell you is, what is of utility and
benefit to someone in his or her life, is independent of the real and true worth they have. It is you
and me who create worth in anything. Then we pursue it and devote our lives in having them and
that too in plenty. A diamond does not have any worth on its own. It has worth for humans. A
monkey shall find it, taste it and then throw it away. For the monkey, an apple is million times
more worthy and precious that this hard, tasteless stone.”
“This means, our lives, whatever we all do with our lives and what we chase life-long, have
worth and value only to the extent, we assign them and believe in it?”
“Not even that. Most people do not even assign their own value and worth to what they do and
achieve in life. The contemporary culture, they are born in and brought up, usually decides the
benchmarks of utility and worth for all pursuits of their lives. The worth of diamond is a cultural
benchmark of utility. In the culture of all other living species of Earth, other than human, it is
almost worthless like any other stone. There is a worldview of all other species, other than
humans, where value and utility of all pursuits by all members of the species are decided by their
natural instincts, which ensures their survival. In humans, the instincts are also there and they
decide utility and value of human pursuits too. However, most of human pursuits are decided by
popular cultural benchmarks of utility and worth, which humans themselves create and keep
changing.”
“My dad always told me to keep away from populism. Probably, he wanted me to decide my
own benchmarks of utility and self-worth. You know Shiv, from childhood; he always called me
empress and expected me to present myself as one. I think, he also meant what you are telling me
now.”
“Melissa, most men and women live their lives and base their decision about right and wrong on
the basis of a mix of their nature and nurture – the instincts and culture. It looks like; their
consciousness is a function of an interaction of the two broad elements of instincts and culture.
However, this is only a small portion of the self – the larger consciousness. There are infinite
shades of one‟s consciousness, which one can decipher and it is like digging them from the land
of one‟s consciousness. This is a very difficult task. One has to completely unlearn the cultural
consciousness, which usually accounts for the bulk of one‟s popular consciousness. Then, one
has to assign completely new sets of values, utility and worth to all those natural instincts, which
usually make auto-decisions for us. Then only, the doors of multiple shades of higher
consciousnesses open up.”
“So, finally, we have come back to the same point. What I could understand is – there is a super
consciousness like realism, within us, which becomes largely independent of both instincts and
culture. This super consciousness of the self is the facility of being the conscious decider of what
should ideally present yourself with your decision-matrix of real and true utility and worth at any
point of time in your life.”
“You are almost there.”
“But Shiv, this still leaves my question unanswered. Now I truly wish to know how one can
reach to this stage of super consciousness.”
“It is really good that you keep faith with your question. However, from here, you shall need
both faith and courage of conviction to journey to the answer.”
“Why this courage element, are we moving to some dangerous territory?”
“Dangerous is the extreme word, yes, there is the element of uncertainties. I explain it to you and
it shall be completely on your discretion, whether you wish to take this mind journey or not.
From here, we shall have to enter a domain, where even science is not sure. Naturally, what we
shall deal with is the domain of philosophy. We have to deal with the question of consciousness,
about which even science still searches for answers. The ancient Indian philosophy offers
answers but not amenable to finality in a way science accepts. These philosophical ideas are very
much available for practical tests on realistic grounds, yet they are only self-evident, not
amenable to across the board evidences, which a scientific fact must have. As you are from a
culture where scientific evidences matter for very utility as well as finality of an idea, you shall
need the courage of conviction to travel faithfully with the new idea of self and life worth.”
“Hmmm… I understand. Is that all Shiv? Anything else, which I should be cautious of?”
“Yes, there is another aspect of this new learning, which needs larger courage. In search of this
super consciousness, which you wish to arrive at, you may confront a completely novel set of
realisms about consciousness and life. These realisms and their experiences can be destabilizing
for you initially as you shall not be used to it. They may even be in conflict and contradiction of
your existing cultural ideas and worldview. This can be destabilizing, as your current
consciousness shall have to battle with them. It is only very natural that when your decision-
matrix goes for a complete makeover, your consciousness shall stand in a domain of
uncertainties. Your subconscious mind shall prompt you to reject and run away from the new
ideas and inputs. It shall engender a sense of futility of enterprise in your conscious mind. Your
previous matrices may stand to lose ground and this shall instill a sense of loss and void within.
You shall need the courage of conviction to accept a new self, which shall grow within you,
standing to reject or renew your existing self, which you have evolved over long years and which
has been so dear to you.”
“Shiv, to be honest, I cannot understand much of what you say about the new experience, which
are lined up on road to the super consciousness. I cannot even perceive of the experiences, you
are cautioning me against. I cannot visualize them right now.”
“I understand that Melissa. There are so many experiences, which we have for the first time and
it is only our nature to be cautious of them. Once you visualize them, the initial fear goes away.
You must take time to think over what we have discussed today. We can talk about it next day.”
“You are right. Shiv, can I ask you, what your feelings were, when you started your journey on
the road to super consciousness thing. You too might have been unsure, cautious and timid.”
“I started when I was quite young and I was not given a choice. I had complete faith in my
teacher and I followed him, where he took me to. There was fear but not about the new
knowledge but about whether I shall be able to stand up to the expectation of my teacher or not.
A child does not usually have conflict in mind; he is led by faith in his superiors. Adult learning
however has loads of conflicts and less faith. One thing, I can now say is, knowledge is
unsettling and a trouble only when you are halfway through it. Complete knowledge is always of
larger utility and peace of mind. My teacher used to tell me, knowledge always tests the
eligibility of a person seeking it. Knowledge, like nature, tests the pursuer with all hardships and
trouble so that only those arrive to it, who are the best. It is like survival of the fittest. My teacher
used to tell me, the fittest for wisdom is one who only accepts optionalessness. Knowledge has to
be optionless in life, only then the journey to it becomes self-energized.”
“Shiv, you mean to say, it is only the journey to super consciousness, which is fraught with
uncertainties and unsettling feelings. Once I reach there, it will be gone. During the journey, I
have to keep full faith on you.”
“Melissa, it is not about you having faith in me. It is rather a misnomer. The faith you have to
have is on you that you can accept the optionlessness of wisdom with conviction. The faith you
need to have is on the idea that until you reach the destination, you shall not sit on the judgment
of the journeys and its pains and pleasures. You need to have faith on the ultimate utility of the
finality of the enterprise, which you shall launch, when you take the road to super
consciousness.”
Melissa looks confused. She is unable to put all the ideas in single linearity, which he presented.
She is not doubting Shiv anymore. However, she realizes that he is probably a bit reluctant as he
might be unsure of her abilities to understand what he can make her learn. Shiv is continuously
watching her face.
“Melissa, I am sorry, if I have burdened you with unnecessary ideas and issues. The whole idea
is to make you happier and in better peace and harmony with yourself. I hope you understand
that whatever I am doing, is for your wellness. I wish you to believe me that ignorance never
causes pain and trouble to people and others. It is always part knowledge and half-baked wisdom
of people, which lands them in major troubles. The troubles you see all around are not because of
seven billion people on this planet being ignorant. The trouble is, most of us are happily egoistic
about our half-truths and part knowledge. True knowledge and wisdom is always assimilative
and integrative. If we see conflicts and competitiveness all around, it is not because of ignorance
but because of the intelligence of people and their zeal about accepting them as only true
intelligence. That is why, you might be feeling that I wish you to be fully ready for accepting
wisdom in its holism or simply be happy with what you are. Wisdom is optional at the outset;
however it is optionless, once we enter its domain.”
“Shiv, I appreciate your views and I wish to assure you that I am not doubting you and your
words. You probably said it right. I need to have faith in myself. I probably doubt my own
readiness for the journey. May be, you are right when you say I need my courage of conviction.
May be I am not completely understanding whatever you wish me to understand. I will do what
you said. I shall work on my preparations first. I shall work to get myself ready.”
“Take your time and while you work it out, always believe that there is nothing alien about
anything new you learn and accept as wisdom. Because as, I said earlier you already have them
inside you. Wisdom is just a facility to decipher and discern, what is already within us. It is just
that, as you expand the horizon of your consciousness, new realisms get unraveled to you.
Wisdom does not create anything; it simply reveals them to us. Science also does not create
realisms; it only unravels them. Similar it is with philosophy and any new idea. Once they are
revealed, you shall find that everything unraveled to you is what you already felt you had but
now they express and present themselves in dimensions, which shall be novel and very
satisfying. There are wisdoms, which are self-evident; making them provable and replicable is
the domain of science.”
“Yes Shiv, I am beginning to get your ideas and words. I think, I can work it out.”
“Melissa, I think you already know it; still I remind you. An empress is an empress because her
superiority gets sustenance not from virtues people load on her, rather the virtues are all within
her soul. Virtues find expression in the consciousness of the empress and not in the people‟s
minds, she rules. You already have this consciousness of an empress. You just have to be natural
and stop resisting your soul. Just be the empress you are.”
Long after Shiv goes away, Melissa remains puzzled as how could Shiv say similar things, which
her dad kept telling her all the time, when she was a child. How could he also call her an empress
like her father? She keeps thinking about Shiv and his talks with her. Late in the day, when she
goes for a walk, she finds him playing with kids of the ashram. She suddenly thinks of her
father. A little girl is chasing Shiv and he runs around. He fakes a fall and the girl is ecstatic
catching him up. He picks her up and tosses her up in air and they both laugh uncontrollably.
Melissa keeps watching him. He looks to her so much like her dad. Suddenly, she feels Shiv was
right. She needs to be the empress of her dad. She has the courage and faith in her.
Back in her cottage, Melissa feels a sense of strength coming back to her. After the mishap in her
life a month back, first time, she felt at ease and composure to reflect on it. She had been
avoiding thoughts over what she did and how things happened after she was dumped by her
fiancé. She begins to think, she has to be the empress of her destiny. She shall have to redeem
her empress mode, as her dad trained her to be. She cannot be swayed by milieu and
circumstances like a common person. She remembers how she erred when she was dumped. Had
she been in the state of super consciousness like Shiv, she too could have been strong and poised
like what Shiv looks like. She resolves to be her dad‟s empress. She cannot anymore be a puppet
of populism. She shall brave all, and she starts to believe, Shiv is probably the right person to
help her redeem and reinvent herself. He is so much like her dad. The way he is patiently and
calmly taking her step by step to newer ideas, and detailing every aspect with openness, Melissa
feels, she can be with him as an innocent child, which he thinks is required for her new learning.
She even understands that Shiv has been successfully making her believe in herself and her
strengths. He never rushes in with his believe, never trying to impress upon her something which
she may not be comfortable with or feel odd about. She grows in confidence with him. She has
seen so many men in her life and most of them either put up pranks or faked to impress upon her
their egoistic attainments and superiority. Being in the celebrity business, Melissa has seen the
game of one-up-manship among men and women in its bare and crudest forms. Shiv is a pleasant
exception to this all. He treats her with so much respect and equality. In her celebrity life or
otherwise, she always met people, who treated her as a person with all her past baggage. Shiv
however always treated her with her present state of consciousness, never ever showing any
inquisitiveness about what she had been. For her, it was a pleasant change as there was someone,
who interacted with her as a person and not as a woman and celebrity. Still, he puts in so much
respect and care for her, even when he has known her for just two days. It was so much like her
dad who treated with so much respect and equality even when she was just a small kid. Her dad
also believed in her and her discretion, even when he detailed about all possible aspects of any
issue, for which she needed to take a decision. Her dad would always say, an empress must take
her own decisions and own it, whatever be the outcome. Melissa smiles at the commonality Shiv
has with her dad. He is also treating her like an empress, urging her to own her decisions. She
makes her decision. She shall also own it.
**
CHAPTER 6
Shiv finds Melissa ready and waiting for her when he goes to her cottage at six in the morning to
wake her up. He smiles at her and understands that she has made her mind to walk on the road to
new beginning. Her body posture exuded her confidence and her face lighted up with the
conviction of her resolved state of mind consciousness. Apparently, she was in a state of better
poise than she had been in last few days. She walks up to receive him.
“Shiv, I won‟t give you any reasons to complain from now on. I am now ready.”
“May the rising Sun bless you with light and warmth in your consciousness for you to embark on
a self-energized journey, which unravels novel and nourishing life experiences.”
“Thank you so much Shiv. Every morning with you is pushing me to something novel but today,
I feel, I am more with me in a state, which you have been telling me to be, a state of better poise
and harmony with myself. Can you tell me; is it because of this beautiful place, your soul-
searching words or something else?”
“Melissa, this is something like a magic, which works for all of us and we usually are so
oblivious of our own potential as the master magician. The magic is within you, nothing external
to you has any impact on you. It is like, you have unconsciously orchestrated a magical
symphony, are ecstatic to experience the music and then look for who played it for you!”
“Oh my God! Shiv, why should you always give me credit for everything nice, which happens to
me? What I have done? I am just what I am!”
“Come with me, let us walk to the place where we sat on the first day. I shall explain it to you,
while we walk. Melissa, the magic is what you have created and benefitted from. Our
consciousness is a strange entity. The entire scientific community is working to unravel the
mystery of the consciousness; how it is the way it is. Still, there are realisms, which are self-
evident and you can corroborate by experiencing it yourself. Deep within our consciousness are
the instinctive choices of flight and fight. Once your conscious mind decided that you have to
face it and fight it out, come what may, your entire body-mind mechanism spreads this resolve to
every cell. As we walk, you can smell the morning fragrances of flowers blossoming all around.
As the flowers bloom, the entire milieu simply becomes a facilitative catalyst to spread the
fragrance. Similarly, once your conscious mind blossoms your resolve that you are going to face
it with conviction, the neuro-electrical and neuro- chemical milieus within your body-mind
mechanism starts to spread the fragrance and every cell of your existence cam smell it. The
magic is ethereal. It expresses itself in settled and deep emotions of singular consciousness. You
created the magic and it spread to your being and now that every cell of your being sings and
dances with the joy of the magic, you feel the tangible freshness in your overall consciousness.”
“Shiv, you know, it is so amazing. You seem to already know what I can ask as I feel, you
always have your answers ready. Can I do the same? Can I be like you?”
“Melissa, I have already told you, you and I are same in potentials. You too have your diamonds
and they belong more to you than me. Always remember; call it God‟s design or evolution‟s
choice, the fact remains that the feminine elements in nature are always superior, as they happen
to be the energy behind all evolutions. You are at any point of time, far better positioned and
endowed for the reception of intangibles of life and the environments surrounding lives.”
“Shiv, as you have allowed me to say things with innocent honesty, I must say that this idea of
yours does not seem self-evident. This world has preponderance of male elements. Feminine
entities are still struggling for their rightful place.”
“Melissa, you are right in observing that. However, this is only a worldview of the contemporary
human culture, which is less than few thousand years old. Moreover, the space human culture
occupies in the colossus of the cosmic realisms is very miniscule. If you consider feminine
elements of the larger cosmos, not what you see around you in our relatively nascent global
society, the dominant influence of feminine elements is self-evident. Even in human society, it
has been accepted that women are the definitive stamp in shaping up evolution of cultures.
Above all, if you keep asking me questions with the same honesty and innocence, it shall surely
energize the evolution of more meaningful communication between us. This you can see as self-
evident and self-corroborative fact (Smiles).”
“Shiv, as you keep encouraging me to ask questions, I have one last question, before we sit down
and start my learning session. We have been talking with each other without you asking me
anything about my life and me. I also know nothing about you. Do you know anything about
me? Shall it facilitate my learning from you if I happen to know more about you?
“Melissa, there are so many cultural conventions, we all follow, which actually serves us in a
limited way, more in societal interactions. These are somehow more for convenience of
interaction, rather than deeper utility of meaningful communication. I go into a jungle, find a
river flowing with beautiful surroundings and I simply sit there and enjoy its serenity and
magnificence. The river and I do not even talk. May be she is not even registering my presence
but I am receiving the charming and stupendous expressions of her splendor. I do not enquire
about her whether she is descending from glaciers atop mountains or is just a seasonal stream,
emanating from rainwater storage as her source. We do not need to interact but we communicate
in a very fruitful way. Her personality infuses in me a rejuvenation, which needs no words.
However, when I have to drink water from the river, I shall need to enquire whether the water is
safe, pure and not with assimilated effluence. When I am communicating with you, we do not
need this particular utility. Our personalities are successfully doing it without name, address and
other cultural information. However, if I know more about you and you about me, there is no
harm but surely, it shall not be facilitative to what we are already doing well. This apart, I must
tell you Melissa that if you feel comfortable with the idea that we should know more about each
other, I surely shall be happy. Whatever makes you happy, I am with that.”
“Shiv, I assure you that I am a good river and very much drinkable,” Melissa says laughing.
Shiv stops and watches her laughing. He is happy for her. She really looks more beautiful than a
river full of water. He makes a decision in his mind.
“Melissa, suddenly a thought has come to my mind and I share it with you with utmost
innocence. If you don‟t like the idea, you should tell me frankly.”
“Sure Shiv, I am a river now and I shall flow my own way. You have no choice now!”
“Since you came here, you have not moved out. There is a big and very beautiful river named
Ganges, just ten minutes drive from the Ashram. I think, you would like sitting on the banks of
the river. It is early morning and there will not be many people. I have a motorbike and if you
like, we can go there. And if you like, you can tell me about you on the river bank. There is
nothing that you would like to know about me. I am just a simple yogi.”
“I accept the idea but with a small change. You shall tell me about you when you sit on the
riverbank. I know, you like rivers and Ganges shall make you speak, okay?”
“I accept.”
There is probably no better positioning of wellness and deep-seated joy than a man pampering
and showering affection on a woman like a child and the woman being in total reception of the
assurance of her man muffling her in paternal coverage. Melissa drops her celebrity guard and
woman parentheses. The overbearing aura of warmth and care of Shiv‟s persona makes the little
girl in Melissa come out in the golden sunshine. The elemental platform of riverside; Himalayan
hills standing close by as sentinels, invites Melissa to come out of her castle of kingdom and
paint the landscape with colors of her heart.
The chemistry of cathartic charisma between the male and female elements of the cosmos has a
strange juxtaposition. When the male elements engender the symmetry and supposition of
sincere canvas of situationality, the female elements sense the fertility of fruition and unleash the
colors of life to paint the picture of perfection. The template this symbiosis of male-female
elements engender, lines up the cosmic energies to fill in all utilities and finality of fruition. The
best and mystically stunning part of all this is that at the point of symmetry of this symbiosis, the
karma of consciousness melts away, as the process is self-energized. Nothing remains the
„subject‟ of action; nothing stands as „actionable‟ as the fusion of male-female elements itself
become the „almighty‟.
Melissa unleashes herself and Shiv is always there encouraging to stretch her wings. The
riverbank, Shiv takes her to, is slightly away from the township and early morning, no one is
there. Shiv holds her hand and takes her into river. She looks in the eyes of Shiv. She can trust
him. He asks her to take small and slow steps. A few meters inside the river, there is a large
boulder and he makes her sit on top of it. The gushing water is making loud sound and morning
breeze is adding its music to the symphony. Shiv joins his palms to scoop river water and offers
it to Melissa. She holds out her right hand and Shiv empties it on them. Shiv asks her to sprinkle
the water on her. She obeys like a little girl. Shiv tells her that this has a symbolic significance as
people come to river and sprinkle its water on them to make a new start in their lives by
purifying themselves of past wrongs. It is a ritual to resolve a new and better beginning in life
after washing their souls of the ills they might have unconsciously or consciously done in the
past. Melissa is thrilled by the idea and asks her to do the ritual one more time, as she too would
repeat the same resolve. She wants a new improved beginning of her life. Shiv does it and after
she is finished with her ritual, he too sprinkles some water on her. Melissa closes her eyes in
reception of his blessings.
Shiv asks her to step down atop the boulder so that he could take her to the tea stall. It is nippy
midstream and he is concerned that Melissa might catch cold. She does not wish to budge but
Shiv keeps his hands extended to her. Carefully, he takes her out of the waters and leads her to
the teashop.
Shiv takes her to the outskirts of town. The shops have started to open up and Melissa could not
resist a look. Melissa loves the beads, things made of wood, saffron dresses and above all the
small handicrafts made of metal. She rues she has not taken money with her. Shiv assures her
that he has the money and she can buy anything she wants. She accepts his moneys as if it were
his dad‟s. She buys loads of metal rings, earrings, bands, beads and wood items like a child. A
strange idol catches attention of Melissa and she enquires about it from Shiv. He tells her that it
is Ganesha, the Hindu God of Intelligence and wellness. She likes the small thumb sized idol of
Ganesha and asks Shiv can she buy it. She knows he never says no.
Shiv offers to buy a white salwar kurta, the traditional Indian dress and she tells him with an
innocent face that she likes all of them on the display. She also wants one of saffron color with
silver embroideries all over. Shiv never says no. He asks the shop owner to take measure of
Melissa and ensure that what she buys could fit her size. He moves on to other shop to buy a
large bag to carry everything she is buying. Melissa meanwhile grabs everything that fits her
size. She asks for their prices and then calculates their value in dollar terms. It is still just a few
dollars.
Shiv finally takes her to a small eatery on the roadside where she tastes traditional Indian
breakfast of poori sabzi and jalebee. She watches with curiosity a man with huge pot like belly
rolling a small flour ball into round shape and then deep-frying it in a large cauldron. It pops up
like a round ball. Most amazing was the way he waved his hands to weave a complex twist of his
wrist, putting in white syrup like thing from a pouch into oil and then dipping the fried twisted
shape into thick sugar syrup. The hot red curry, with which she eats the poori, served in a plate
made of fresh green leaves, lights up her face. The jalebees are so sweet and juicy, Melissa wants
more but Shiv asks her to stop as he fears she is not used to such spicy food. Melissa ignores
Shiv and goes to the big-belly man asking for more. She wants to learn how to make the
jalebees. The man hands over the pouch and offers her to try her hands at making the jalebees.
She pours in a scary shape in the oil and the man serves it to her after dipping it in the sugar
syrup. She tastes it and proudly offers a bite to Shiv. He gives her a big thumbs-up.
Back in the Ashram, Melissa dumps herself on the chair of her cottage, breathing heavily in
excitement, while Shiv arranges her buys on the corner table. As Shiv leaves her cottage, she
rises up and grabs his arm to stop him. Shiv turns back to look at her happy face.
“Shiv, thank you so much for this experience. You have given me so much and I want to ask for
more. Can I ask you to be my friend? Is it wrong to ask?”
Shiv smiles and says in mock bewilderment, “If I am not your friend, how can I eat such a
daunting jalebee you made and still smile in appreciation? Can anyone, who is not a friend, do
that?”
“Shiv, you are such a bad man”, Melissa replies in mock anger.
“Yes Melissa, now you know you have made a terrible friend”, Shiv says smiling, as he walks
away from her.
Melissa is very happy. She now knows, Shiv was saying it right when he said, there were so
many cultural conventions, we all followed, which actually served us in a limited way. Even
when she spent hours with him, she never felt the need to ask anything about Shiv‟s life and past.
And now, she has made him her good friend, knowing nothing about him. Shiv was right, she
accepts, you do not ask the name, address and other facts to a river or a mountain. Melissa
remembers her moments when she was sitting on the boulder midstream the Ganges. She
visualizes herself as the river and Shiv as the tall Himalayan mountains surrounding the river.
The female-male elements are beginning to find its symbiotic symmetry. She is oblivious of the
alchemy of cosmic charisma. The river, which sources its flow from the mountain top glaciers, is
perennial and creator of civilizations. The river-mountain symbiosis is cosmic chemistry.
Elements just line up in reverence of the energy of this alchemy.
**
CHAPTER 7
Late night, Melissa gets a phone call from her dad, which makes her concerned. The evening
tabloids in London carried a picture of Melissa making Indian sweet at a shop on their front
page. The picture was credited to an international news agency. Her dad cautioned her that as the
picture caption identified the place as Rishikesh, the paparazzi might soon find her and trouble
her peace.
Melissa becomes nervous. Now that the media knows where she is, within a day they will get to
find about her stay in the ashram. She has been so happy with her peaceful stay here. She fears,
the media would create unpalatable stories about her stay in a yoga ashram. A month back, she
had enough of it when media speculations made a circus out of her plight. She is not sure, how to
handle this situation. She decides, she will wake up Shiv, tell him everything about her past and
the latest developments. She is confident Shiv will help her.
“Shiv, I am sorry, I troubled you with all this but I had to”, she says after briefing him about
everything about her life and the mishap in her life.
“Melissa, it is me who should say sorry to you. I took you to the town and this trouble for you
happened because of me.”
“No Shiv, it is not your fault. It is my trouble and I have created every bit of it.”
“What do you want now? I mean, why you seem so nervous about media knowing where you are
and what you are doing.”
“Shiv, you don‟t know them. They are so intrusive. They shall follow me everywhere and take
my pictures. It becomes impossible for you to breathe when they chase you like a prey.”
“You are right Melissa, I have never faced them in my life so I cannot even imagine. I have only
read about them. However, my point is, you are here in our ashram and having peaceful time
with yourself; it is not something wrong or weird. Everyone has the right to go anywhere and do
whatever one likes. So, you can call a press conference here, allow the media to take pictures and
tell them that you are here to spend some peaceful time and they should respect your privacy.”
“Shiv, you cannot understand all these celebrity business and gossip news hunt. Nobody is
interested in what I say. They are not like you Shiv. They do not sit near a river asking nothing.
They jump into the river, stomp every inch of it, drain every drop of water out of it and then dig
into the dry riverbed to find gossip materials. People do not accept celebrities as anyone. They do
not associate anything normal and regular with them. That is why gossips about celebrities are
read and believed more than their own words. I have travelled thousands of kilometers to run
away from them. I cannot just give up.”
“Melissa, if you are sure, you do not want them, then, there is only one solution to this trouble.”
“No Shiv, please. I do not want this solution. I do not wish to run away from here. I have found
my precious peace and poise here. I feel rejuvenated here. I have just found you as my good
friend. I still have to learn a lot from you. How can I run away from this place?”
“Okay Melissa, if you do not want this option, you have to consider a way out, which shall need
your courage, trust on me and permission from your father. I tell you the option; you think about
it calmly, share it with your father and seek his opinion.”
Melissa looks at him expectantly. She desperately wants to get out of this situation.
“Melissa, suppose, there is a magic, which transports you and me to a place, which is even better
than this ashram and where nobody can trouble you, I think you should be happy. I can assure
you, this new place is many times more beautiful, serene, splendid lap of nature and people
around will be few and simple like rivers. There you will have the perfect peace and poise to
continue your rejuvenation and learning.”
“Shiv, unleash the magic right now and take me to the place.”
“Melissa, you cannot hurry with your decision. You have to ask for your father‟s permission. I
shall have to seek permission from Acharya. Your mother too needs to be informed. The local
police official comes daily to enquire about you as Embassy people have instructed him for daily
reports about your well-being here. We cannot just move away. You just need to trust me. We
can manage the whole situation very well. I own the responsibility of this trouble and believe me,
I can manage it all.”
Melissa watches Shiv in admiration as he briefs her about a place 150 kilometers north of
Rishikesh town, where there is a small village in the lap of a beautiful valley. This is the paternal
village of Acharya and he has a small wooden house there. The village is not in the tourist map
and the village has only around 25 houses. He tells her that in Acharya’s house, his brother‟s
family of four lives in the ground floor and the upper floor is kept locked for Acharya, who visits
once every year in summers. He assures her that she would feel safe and secure with the family,
who will take good care of her. He tells her that he would live in another household. The district
town is only 25 kilometers away and she can visit it whenever she has to call her family, mail
them or buy anything. Only Acharya will have the information about this, so she can stay there
till she likes.
Melissa nods like a little girl, carefully listening to him and feeling so relaxed. Inside, she is so
happy to find that Shiv is taking extra care to convince her that she shall be safe in the new place
and there shall be good and simple people taking care of all her comforts. She can feel that Shiv
wants to ensure that she has every small information and support to make her confident about
taking her decision to move away from the place. She wants to tell Shiv that she does not need
them as she has total confidence and faith in him. She wants to tell him that a woman can sense
the evil in a man within seconds and she is now sure, her new friend is as reliable as her family.
However, as she is relaxed now and very confident that she has come out of the trouble, she
decides to tease him a bit. The woman in her comes forward and plays pranks with the man she
has found the trust in.
“Shiv, you know, I have an afterthought. These media people are also humans, and they do it for
their living. I cannot deny them their precious livelihood. I think; I should give them some nice
and racy gossips. If I escape from this place without telling anybody, riding on your motorbike
right now, this shall become great news for paparazzi, when they shall arrive here, looking for
me. There will be headlines in tabloids and newspapers all over – Hollywood star runs away with
a Yogi! This shall be good feedstock for series of wild gossips for at least a week. After all, the
paparazzi will have to spend so much money coming here looking for stuffs and I am a celebrity,
I have a responsibility towards them!”
Shiv smiles and looks at her affectionately. He is happy that Melissa is now relaxed and in good
mood. It is time he paid her back for her innocence and trust she showed on him. He moves close
to her, grabs her hands and gently drags her towards the door.
“Madam Celebrity, in 34 years of my life, I have never been to jail and it would not be a great
headline when the same tabloids will say – Yogi hauled and jailed for kidnapping Hollywood
star.”
“What a brilliant idea Shiv! This is even better! Now I really want to run away with you right
away. You do not understand Shiv, you will become a celebrity yogi, once you land in prison. It
is all the more better for me because the paparazzi would then chase you and I shall live in
lasting peace!”
Shiv affectionately pulls her out of his room, even as Melissa keeps dragging her feet back and
keeps teasing him about how it is good for both of them to run away without telling anyone. Shiv
takes her to her cottage and makes her call her father first; who agrees to the plan as if he was
actually waiting for it. Her mother gets irritated by the news and asks her to take whatever steps,
which could keep the media from gossips as it would be trouble for her political career. She is
confident that as Melissa‟s father has okayed the plan, it would be safe for her. Shiv then takes
her to the bed, switches off the lights and turns towards the door.
“Do not rise early, sleep well. We shall move late in the day.”
„Shiv, can I ask you a question?”
“Melissa, the journey tomorrow will take seven hours and you can ask as many questions as you
want then. You must sleep now. You need lots of rest for…”
“Are you taking all these troubles for me and helping me out just because my father has been a
benefactor to this ashram”, Melissa interrupts him.
“Melissa, the answer is there but it may not be available now. Keep the question alive and I
promise, you shall get the right answer later. Meanwhile, you can accept a smart answer, which
is – it is a friend paying his friend back because she manufactured the most amazing jalebee in
the world for him.”
“Shiv, you are such a bad friend”, she says in mock anger. “You too keep this threat alive that
someday, I shall runaway with you and land you in prison. And then I shall visit you in jail
everyday with more amazing jalebees, which I shall make especially for you.”
“Madam Celebrity, I never have any doubts about your genius.”
“Shiv, I am hungry, I want poori sabzi and jalebees now”, Melissa persists with her teasing
mood. She is in no mood to let Shiv slip away.
“Close your eyes and you shall find plenty of them in your dreams. Good night!”
Shiv shuts the door of her cottage behind him.
Melissa sleeps minutes after he leaves. A woman assured of wellness has no place for dreams in
her sleep. Melissa sleeps like a kid. Shiv however does not.
Shiv is slightly concerned. The day with Melissa and the way she presented herself with him
makes him think of everything. There is an instinctive design in everyone. It works and the
mechanism does not usually manifest it to the person as most things are happening in the
subconscious. It is like, the food one eats continues to go through different stages of body‟s
metabolism but the person cannot tell which stage the food has reached in the long tracts.
It is nature‟s design of selection of inevitable. A woman teases a man if she finds him worthy of
her selection for proximity, affection and intimacy. It seems like an instinctive mechanism,
which unconsciously a woman does to ensure the suitability and utility of a man as her possible
selection. This mechanism seems to test the selection in twin ways. First, it works on a
supposition that a man, who is reciprocally interested in the woman, alone can match symbiotic
and symmetrical emotions to the teases of the woman. Secondly, it tests the essential and
ingrained character of the man as a reliable selection. If he has the patience, sincerity and
personality resources to emerge winner from the tests of teases from the woman, she shall sense
it like a powerful aroma. It is very usual for a woman stretching her mannerisms and action-
behavior to unbelievable limits of extreme teases to test the finality of selection.
Shiv is concerned because Melissa had initiated this instinctive mechanism towards him and she
was so innocently oblivious of it. As Shiv reciprocated to her teases and pranks, she
unconsciously upgraded the scale of her innate mechanism. Shiv understands that he is happiest
making her happy and smile but he was doing it for something, which he cannot tell it to her. He
could never think of doing anything, which could make Melissa feel bad and unsettled. He is
working towards making Melissa a person, which could land herself in real joys and real
happiness of life. However, what Melissa is leading to, is not what he has the brief for.
Shiv goes to his room and makes the important call. He speaks on the phone in calm but in a
serious tone. Something the person from other side of the phone tells him and he smiles and
looks relaxed. He makes another call and asks for something. He waits for ten minutes for the
return call. The phone call makes him laugh and he thanks the person from other side of the
phone profusely. He looks at the wall clock and it is three o‟ clock. He takes out his small mat
and sits in meditation. In two hours, he will have to move out and prepare for day‟s journey with
Melissa. He must see and brief Acharya about the developments before he starts his routine of
meditation and prayers at five.
**
CHAPTER 8
Melissa instantly falls in love with the new place. The place is too good to be real. As it is in a
painting, every element of the landscape looks markedly accentuated. Melissa has never been
such close to raw and wild nature at its sharpest and best. She jokes to Shiv that it seems she has
died and come to heaven with him. Shiv has been a regular here. He belongs to this place.
The village, situated on a small stretch of almost flat land, where around 25 small wood and
stone houses stood, is a narrow valley. All houses are lined up laterally, close along the steeply
rising mountain, which protects them against chilly winds in winters, when snow covers the
village. All houses face downwards, where a spiral of cultivated land descends down. The
villagers do the terrace farming in these lands. On the right end of village, jungles start and
inside the jungle, a river stream descends down with huge force from mountaintop. Melissa can
easily listen to the musical sound of waterfall nearby. The sky above looks like a small blue
umbrella as grey mountains surrounded the horizon from all sides. After somehow warm and
slightly humid climes of Rishikesh, Melissa particularly likes the dry and pleasantly cold milieu
of the village. The traditional welcome rituals of the villagers thrill Melissa.
She however is slightly irritated as since she arrived here, Shiv seems to have left her and is busy
mingling with villagers. He disappears for good two hours and Melissa is anxiously waiting for
him in her room. Finally, he arrives after it is dark.
“Melissa, I must say sorry to you. I should have been with you but I could not avoid the
villagers. I know you must be angry with me and you should be. You know Melissa, I was born
here; these people know me since my childhood. My parents died in cloud burst, when I was just
four years old. I too was washed away in flash floods and Acharya saved my life. Since then, he
has taken care of me as his own child. These villagers are always thrilled beyond expectation
when I visit them once a year with Acharya. As I have come here way ahead of my regular
scheduled visit, they are all so excited and I cannot avoid them. They all are like my big family.
They are so loving and as nobody is alive in my family; they all accept me as their own family
member. And all of them have so many questions to ask.
“Oh God, Shiv, it is your village? You were born here. That is why you are so beautiful and so
amazing like the place. You are so lucky. And where is your house where your parents lived? I
want to see the place.”
“Melissa, this place is very symbolic of life, as it unravels for all of us. This place looks so
beautiful, like life seems to us initially. However, this place has a history of untold miseries and
mishaps. Almost every family here has lost one or two members the way I lost my parents. It is a
hard life for all of them here. The soil is poor and wild animals often destroy their meager crops.
They survive on herbs they all collect from the jungle and sell it to a cooperative in the district
town. It is risky when they venture deep into the forests for herbs, as wild animals in jungle often
attack them. The winters are very harsh and they remain cut off from rest of the world almost
eight months of the year. Their best friends are the cattle and sheep but it is tough to keep them
in good health. Still, they survive and remain happier than most in the world because they are all
one big family, always united and supportive to each other. They sing and dance; and show it to
the harshness of life that men and women can be happy, if there is love and compassion in their
lives. I come here every year just to learn from them and life here. I am truly indebted that I
belong to them.”
“Shiv, you are right. I am also like this village and everyone else, who accept me as a celebrity,
are like occasional visitors, rank outsiders like me. They do not know the miseries and troubles
of the girl who lives in the garb of the celebrity. Shiv, the only difference is, this village still
dances and sings, braves it all and lives happily. I also sing and dance but I am mot as brave as
these people are. I am not happy the way they are. Probably, I am not as simple, beautiful and
full of vitality like them. But Shiv, I know, you can and you do see a stupid girl in me. I want to
be like you, like your people. I want to be brave and beautiful like them. I know, you understand
what it takes to be like that. You have gone through the life. And I also know, you are now my
beautiful friend. You shall make me like you. You can lead me to the knowledge and
experiences, which shall enable me to imbibe all this. May be, it will be tough for me. May be I
am not good enough to be like you and your people but I know Shiv; you have the patience and
compassion to stay with me as my teacher and friend.”
“Melissa, never ever repeat what you have said now. You are many times more able, endowed
and empowered than me and we all here. As I told you earlier, you have your diamonds within
you and they truly belong to you. You just have to dig them out. The people here look happier,
simple and more beautiful but it is what they have to be in their natural disposition. They have no
option. They are lucky not to be exposed to the evils and distractions of life. You are far superior
to all of us as you have braved the most complicated and conflicted social and economic
environments on the planet and still retain the innocence. You think I am better than you but put
me to the rigors of celebrity life for a day and I shall definitely lose my wellness and goodness
within a day. You have been into it for years and still you have the innocence and simplicity to
appreciate the pains of others and value of alternative worldviews. It is very tough. I know, it is
what only a woman can do, as she is the empress of the elements, which make this cosmos. The
beauty, you see in these people are situational and not cultivated in adverse situations and
milieus. You are far more beautiful as yours is painfully cultivated and meticulously persevered
even in the worst of milieus. Melissa, the credit must go to your dad as he sowed in you the seeds
of an empress. You are truly a magnanimous and brilliant empress, who has the affection and
compassion for people, even when they have not been particularly kind to you.”
“Shiv, don‟t pamper me like dad. I know I am a stupid but now I am better off as I have a friend
in you who shall take me where I must belong. I do not belong where I am. I need to learn from
you what is this place in life I must belong.”
“Madam Celebrity, this small place called Hollywood is not where you belong and it surely has
not made you a celebrity. You are a real celebrity beyond these petty limits. You just being a
simple, innocent and stupidly beautiful girl, land yourself to be the ultimate celebrity of the
universe. The trouble is, you just do not know your true potential. You know, what made you
come here. It is not your Hollywood celebrity status but your stupid innocence. When you were
making this amazing jalebee in front of the shop, a stringer photojournalist of an international
new agency was passing by. He did not even recognize you, as he has never seen a Hollywood
movie in his life. He took the snap as he thought a beautiful and innocent girl, who looked like
an empress, was making this silly jalebee in a small dingy sweet shop. He simply sent the
pictures to his bosses at New Delhi office with a caption – a beautiful foreigner learning artistry
of Indian sweet making. The bosses at Delhi headquarters recognized you and flashed it globally,
within seconds. So, little empress, you are a born celebrity. Whatever you do, it will become a
celebration for all lesser mortals like me; even when you make the most terrible jalebee in the
world. Do you understand, what your stupid friend is telling you?”
“Shiv! How could you know that? Oh my God, I am such a huge trouble for myself! You see
Shiv, how stupid I am; I always create trouble for myself and then run away from it like a kid.
But be sure, I am not running away from this place. But Shiv, this jalebee, I want to have more. I
promise, I won‟t make them before I learn to make them well.”
“Melissa, have you ever heard a story of an empress or princess, who has not landed herself in
trouble. It is only natural for an empress to be in perpetual trouble. A lesser mortal like me has to
handle his ten cents but an empress has to handle her huge empire. It is only natural that your
troubles shall be bigger.”
“Shiv, stop calling me an empress! I do not want to be one. I want to be like common people,
with their little pains and little joys. I am more than willing to exchange the empire of the
empress with the joys of the jalebee girl. As you said, even when I am doing a silly thing like
making a jalebee, I am a celebrity. Better it is that I stay as your stupid jalebee girl than a
Hollywood celebrity.
“But Melissa, you made such a terrible jalebee, you shall have to toil hard to learn the art”, Shiv
teases her.
“Mr. Yogi, I did not get the Oscars for my first movie. This time, you bet I can hit it right. You
do not know my potential. I shall learn it here and then shall open a jalebee shop in busy New
York streets. I am bound to be a mega hit as a jalebee girl!”
Late till mid-night, Melissa talks with Shiv, even when he keeps asking her to go to sleep. She is
not tired, rather feeling so much energy within, in company of Shiv. A little girl in her has found
her pampering and very compassionate father in Shiv, after a long gap. She talked like a little
girl, revealing to Shiv all her deep feelings about everything she faced in her life and how she
always battled with loneliness all her life. She asks many questions to Shiv and like a patient
father, he calmly and elaborately answered her. Shiv finally convinces her that they shall talk
every night after dark, as there shall not be anything else they could do after sun sets. In daytime,
he promises her that he would take her to places and show her the world he grew up in. She is
happy, as she trusts; Shiv always does what he says. She sleeps like a small kid.
In the next seven days, she spends in the village; Shiv ensures that she is taken to all such
locations, where nature stands in such colossal form and disposition that it completely engulfs
the sense of existence of a person. He takes her to jungle where the waterfall descended on
ground with immense force. He makes her sit on a large stone facing the mighty waterfall and
asks her to close her eyes in meditation. Melissa is reluctant as fatal fear grips her. He grabs Shiv
like a baby and does not want to let him leave her in meditation. Shiv patiently assures her and
slowly, she starts to sit in meditation. Shiv sits just behind her and keeps assuring in sedate voice
that she should keep telling her deep consciousness, while her eyes are closed that she cannot be
intimidated by anything. He makes her resist her fears. He keeps his hands on her head, gently
tapping her hair to assure her of his presence. She gradually starts the process Shiv wants her to
go deep into.
After continuous practice, she shall feel the poise within. The fear shall dissipate and she will
lose her talks with her conscious self. The roar of the waterfall shall turn into a soothing music
and she will begin to feel a void inside, which is the vacuum, where consciousness leaves the
body-mind observance and assimilates with the cosmic vacuum. It is the moment, all layers of
consciousnesses fall in linearity and the unity of self readies the being to take the journey to a
stage which in Yogic philosophy refers to as „kaivalya (absolute only-ness)‟, where a person is
with one ultimate consciousness and in perfect aloneness with it – the higher consciousness.
Melissa also feels the change in her every day. She has almost perfected her timing to be in
perfect synchrony with changing roles of Shiv vis-à-vis her in a single day. Her day starts with
Shiv being in her teachers role, making her bear pain to stretch her for the yoga asanas, Shiv
makes her do. When he is the teacher, he is insistent and unwavering. Melissa has learnt to
respect his roles. She stretches her efforts to perfect the yogasnas. Later in the day, when Shiv
takes her to places and tells her about different aspects of life and other learning, he is very
friendly and she knows, she can take liberty with him. And after the Sun sets and they talk in her
room, she is the pampered kid and Shiv has to run for cover like an exhausted father.
Within a week, Melissa discovers two very distinct developments in her personality and she
writes about them in her dairy. Usually, whatever she feels, she tells it to Shiv but this she
chooses not to tell him and instead, write in her diary.
She writes:
Every day, there are so many new things I am seeing, observing, experiencing and learning that I
am really not sure, which one feeling I can say I like best. Today, as Shiv has gone to town to
fetch things for tomorrow‟s feast, he has planned for the villagers, I have the time and I thought
about it for hours. Definitely, I can say that two things, which I have learnt here, are amazing and
I am truly happy that it came my way. Surely, I need to master them.
I can say that first attainment for me has been that now I am far more comfortable with myself. It
is Shiv‟s personality, which made me understand this simple thing. He performs so many roles in
a day. He is a great cook, a yoga expert, a great teacher of life, a truly beautiful friend, a hugely
family man and favorite of all kids. He sings so well with village women and knows almost
everything about farming. Still, in all his roles, he remains his true self, never ever drifting under
the influence of the action-behavior of the role. Anything he does has a strong stamp of his core
personality of detached affection and compassion. This I learnt from him and he made me
decipher the whole mechanism about it. I was never the same while I multi-tasked myself. I can
clearly remember and now I have no qualms in admitting that while I was a daughter, an actress,
a celebrity, a friend, girl at home, etc, I was completely different persons. Honestly, at times, I
overlapped it all. I got into the skin of every role I performed. This was like, I was assaying
different characters in a movie, even while I was in real life. There was me in everything I did
but there was not a singular and central me in anyone of them. I was in a perpetual drift of
consciousness, faking my being, in all of these, without ever being sure; what of these different
me was the real and true me. Now I know, this made me fear things. How stupid I feel of myself
remembering how I buckled under an unknown fear and anger when my fiancé dumped me. How
nervous I felt when the paparazzi were behind me. How low and frustrated I felt when all my so-
called friends and well-wishers took to media to fuel horrendous gossips about my life and my
personality. Now I know, I feared them all and ran away from them because I was not sure who I
was. I accepted myself as people around made me label myself. And this I did against my
childhood training, which my dad so carefully instilled in me. He made me the empress and
made me be sure not to bow to the populism and social benchmarking of success and failures.
Shiv redeemed me. He is so much like dad. With him and in this amazingly beautiful place, I
have deciphered my real and true consciousness. Now, I am ready and willing to face anything in
my life. I am not afraid of the paparazzi. I am not running away anymore. I am very comfortable
with myself. Shiv has made me confident of my innocence and honesty. I know, I am still not as
affectionate and compassionate as he is, but he tells me that my innocence and honesty shall
make me arrive where he is. I trust him.
I have learnt from Shiv, how still to be you, even when you perform all possible roles and tasks
of life. Everything you do, may want you to be in different moulds of your personality, still,
there should always be a strong stamp of your core and singular consciousness in all of them.
Shiv is gearing me towards a consciousness, detached from the elements of milieus within and
outside me, but I am not at it. I feel, even deep within, where I am supposed to be in unity with
my singular consciousness, I cannot feel detached to Shiv. I feel him being around me
everywhere. And I want it this way. I have become so used to his fragrance around me. I am
happy he is there in my consciousness. This is so catalytic for me. I have not grown in this new
wisdom like Shiv. I am still a little girl and I need him around. He is such a beautiful friend. I
still have to go miles in this new journey and I need a compassionate teacher like him.
The second thing I learnt from Shiv is something so amazing. I had never realized that you are
the happiest when you are perfectly lonely deep within. For years, I battled with loneliness and
found it a burden on my soul. Here, with Shiv, I realized why my dad always wanted me to keep
away from populism and cultural benchmarks. I now realize why he called me an empress. Shiv
also calls me an empress. I realized, being an empress is not about external attainments of
kingdom, name, fame and moneys. It is about a consciousness position, where one is content,
confident and consistently in reception of one‟s treasures within. The difference is so subtle and
intangible. When I was in celebrity mode, I was onto overdrive of action and reaction. There was
so much of attainment to achieve and so much attainment to defend. All the time, there was an
empress, who in her subconscious mind worked overtime for external attainments of kingdom,
name, fame and utilities. The subconscious was busy in action-reaction overdrive. However, my
conscious mind wished for peace and leisure. The conflict created split consciousnesses. That is
why, whenever I was alone, I felt uneasy and unsettled. How could I enjoy peace and leisure of
loneliness, when inside, the grind was on, working intangibly for the fear of the empire I was
presiding over. The grind of action-reaction never left me alone and that is why, even when I
should have been happy and at peace with my leisure, I felt unsettled and nervous. I can now
understand why people all over the world fear loneliness most.
I am still an empress but now I am in singular consciousness of reception of self; very much
happy with my attainments deep within. I know, my empire is my deep consciousness and my
real attainments, my real diamonds as Shiv says, are my innocence, my simplicity and honesty,
my affectionate and compassionate self. This I have to grow but whatever I have within me, it is
going to remain there for good. I do not have to be in overdrive of action-reaction to defend it
and sustain it. I now enjoy my loneliness. Shiv makes me sit in meditation. Or even with my eyes
open at a place for hours. I have learnt to be in absolute reception of tangible and intangible
elements around me. When you are in this state of consciousness, everything talks to you. The
mind is not acting or reacting to milieus and elements around you but simply imbibes them. I sit
on the top layer of the deep terrace farms, for hours all alone and I truly enjoy my peace and
leisure.
Shiv taught me a very interesting idea. He is a great cook and every day, he makes something for
his people in the large kitchen of the house I stay. He always takes me along and I am so thrilled
learning all these lovely local dishes. I asked him once, didn‟t he feel bored and tired of cooking,
which most men and even women consider drudgery. He revealed to me a great truth. He said,
when you did something all alone, you felt bored and accepted it as drudgery. If you have a
company, the same work becomes a festival and joy. Shiv told me, he was never alone as he
always had the intangible company of affection and compassion for the people and of the people
he cooked for. He cooks for all his people and they eat it together. Every day, it is a party going
in the village and they all bless him. Shiv told me, before he entered the kitchen, even when he
was alone; he was joined by the joys and blessings of his people, for whom he wants to cook. He
said, when he cooked only for himself, he felt being lonely and the cooking became boring; a
definite drudgery. This is the lovely idea of emotional and ideational company, which one
always can have, even while physically one is alone, is something I really appreciate. I was so
thrilled the day I finally made jalebees for the whole of village, which Shiv arrangement for.
Everyone was so happy and they all blessed me. I worked for hours in the kitchen but never felt
bored and toiled. I now understand, one can never be lonely when the heart and mind is
populated with affection and compassion for everyone. People become lonely because they keep
beautiful emotions of mind away.
I know, I have to grow into this art. This artistry of joy of loneliness has to be perfected. I admit,
I am never actually lonely. Shiv always encourages me to go for a walk all alone and consciously
feel being all alone in the entire cosmos but I have not done it yet. This place is so open that
anywhere I go, I can see Shiv around, even some distance away; still so near me. In fact, Shiv is
so caring; he never leaves me completely alone. I think, I am happy being all alone but just Shiv
being around me. As he is around, I feel focused to my new learning and feel the sense of
perfection in my endeavors. After all, he is my teacher of life. His presence is catalytic, never a
distraction. In fact, I feel very secure with Shiv‟s fragrance muffling me when I am journeying
into the new experiences.
**
CHAPTER 9
Shiv hates to do it. Especially with Melissa, who trusts him like an innocent child. In ancient
Indian philosophic and religious traditions, the worst crime one could commit was breach of
trust. Even modern law considers it as grave offence. Shiv knows, he has no way out, even if he
wished to tell the truth to her. He had to do it the way his chief conspirator wanted. He was just
carrying the orders.
He has the latest instruction to wrap it up fast as he had to report to his original duties shortly. He
has to speed it up and do it in a way Melissa could not sense. He decides to do it tonight. She has
already informed Melissa that they would talk something serious tonight.
As the dark descends on the village, Shiv enters Melissa‟s room. This is the time when usually,
Melissa behaves like a kid and Shiv pampers her. Shiv however has a different plan.
“Melissa, I have things to say to you but if you are tired or otherwise not in good mood to listen
to me, we can postpone it.”
“No Shiv, I am perfectly all right. I can never be as tired not to listen to you. Tell me what you
want to say.”
“You have to be very attentive as what we shall discuss tonight is serious and shall need your
perfect focus and attention.”
“Okay, anyway, in the dim light, I can only see you, nothing else.”
“Melissa, first thing I have to tell you is a big sorry and I also request you not to ask why.”
“But I shall ask why! How can I accept a sorry, if I do not know the reason?”
“Consider it a charity, you extend to a poor yogi and charity is done without asking anything.”
“No! Shiv, forget it, I am not charitable. You are not only my dear friend but also my teacher.
How can a student accept a sorry from her teacher?”
“Melissa, above everything, you are an empress and it is fit for an empress to forgive.”
“Then I demand the reason. If I am an empress, then nobody says no to me!”
Melissa loves to tease Shiv and show him her childlike pranks. She loves being pampered by
Shiv. She keeps arguing with him and finally makes him withdraw his sorry.
“Shiv, you are such a bad person. I have no words to thank you for what you have done to me. I
cannot tell you, how happily endowed I feel with you and with what you extended to me in such
short time. I cannot even think of you being wrong at the first place. An apology is something I
can never except from you. I have always received treasures from you. Are you feeling sorry to
take me to this heavenly place and making me learn so much? Tell me!”
“Madam Genius, I withdraw my apology for now but, I request you to keep alive this sorry for a
future date when you would probably agree to accept it.”
“Shiv, please, if you talk like that, I shall feel that you are no more my friend. Is this the serious
thing you wished to talk? I am not talking to you!”
“Okay, sorry for saying this sorry. Even if you do not talk to me, I shall remain your friend,
forever. Anyway, tonight, you do not need to talk, you just need to listen.”
“I shall accept the sorry for your sorry only when you compensate for the wrong. You have to do
it by promising that even if I do limitless and craziest of stupidities, you shall always be my dear
friend and never leave me.”
Shiv looks at her. He leaves his chair and sits by her side on her bed. She turns and faces him. He
takes her right hand in his left hand and taps gently with his right hand. She looks in his eyes.
There is enough light in the room for her to see his eyes getting moist. A woman is designed to
read a man‟s heart through his eyes. She reads the oceans of compassion in his eyes. The child in
her gives way to the woman in her. She could not see the guilt in his eyes but her heart soaks
with gratitude from the drops of water, which lines his eyes.
“Shiv, I am sorry. I am truly very sorry. I accept whatever you say. I am such a stupid girl. God
knows why I start behaving like a little girl, when I am with you. Believe me, I trust you more
than anything. I accept your sorry, I do. I know if you say it, there must be a good reason for it.”
“Melissa, I am so fortunate that you have always been in brilliant reception with me. But,
tonight, I have to say things, which you need to consciously assimilate. There shall be times
when you would like to ask questions; you may find something I say as untenable to you. You
have to allow them all to slip in. It is not that I am saying or giving this to you. In fact, whatever
you say you have attained here, are your own reception, not my communication. The realism is
just the reverse of it. You are in automatic reception of them because you have attained a
consciousness positioning, where things similar and naturally symmetrical are automatically
drawn to you. It is one realism, you shall learn to master in days ahead. Tonight, in the darkness,
there are realisms, elemental situationalisms lined up in queue. You need to open all your doors
for them, consciously checking any urge to block them. Later, when you assess their utility for
your final acceptance, you can use your discretion for rejecting any of them.”
“Shiv, I promise you, I shall assimilate anything you say. But you also have to promise that later,
when it shall be time for my discretion to assess their utility, you shall be there with me as my
teacher and good friend.”
“Even this is your discretion and reception. This place, the life here, the people, even me, you
have liked and enjoyed because you found utility in them. This is what we shall talk tonight. I am
very confident that you are in a consciousness of ultimate reception for it. You are very
intelligent and truly knowledgeable in your own right but true learning does not need them. What
it needs is what you have loads of them and that is why I call you an empress. You have the
innocence and honesty to be most eligible for all learning of life and all realisms around you. The
environment here and days you spent here are just the right catalyst for it.”
Melissa anticipates that Shiv has something for her, which he wants her to imbibe and assimilate
in her best of innocence. A woman reciprocates best to innocence and compassion. She feels his
compassion muffled around her innocence and she does not wish any space between the two. She
inches closer to Shiv and feels his breathe. Shiv bows his head in complete deference of the most
precious thing coming his way – the innocent trust of the empress.
The soil is ready and in absolute anticipation of the seed and this extends the energy for the seed
to ascend to its best potential. This is springtime for the nature. All elements are in perfect
attendance of the primordial union of soil and seed. The seed shall dissolve its utility and fruition
into the soil and the soil shall attain its finality. The cosmic conspiracy shall once again win; it
has always!
“Melissa, we are dealing with something, which has its origin around 3000 years back. For
others, it shall be almost impossible to visualize a time that far in history. You can however
understand it and feel it in your consciousness. It is close to where we are now. It is about
people, who lived in similar world 3000 years back. The nature then was even wilder and far
more intense then and they had far more leisure time than we have here. There were very few
people around and naturally, the level of proximity and intimacy between them was far deeper
than today. As you understand it best, in such world and life, it becomes so much easy and
available to observe even the most intangible of feelings, emotions, ideas, patterns and
structures. I consciously made you to live the isolation, leisure and detachment here so that you
could register it in your deep consciousness. You can now easily visualize a life in history that
far. Our ancestors had little distractions of modern and contemporary life. As population pressure
on natural resources was very little and needs of life were few, they had loads of quality leisure
time. The poise they had within and utility they accepted of this precious leisure, led them to be
keen observers of every little thing around. They could decipher a design, a pattern in almost
everything that happened or presented themselves to them. Humans have the most developed
facility of observance and imagination. These two innate facilities made our ancestors decipher
so many patterns in the nature and in their lives. They started to put them into actionable ideas. It
is also very natural and we all even today do the same. Those were days, when our ancestors
only had the human tools of observations and imaginations as means of corroboration. However,
they had the genius to engender such ideas, which were self-evident and self-corroborative in
their immediate milieus. They beautifully picked up symbols and metaphors from nature to
elaborate and substantiate their ideas. They are part of philosophic and spiritual traditions but
actually, they also happen to be the crude resource for scientific enquiry and substantiation. The
core philosophy is based not on ideas, which modern contemporary world can label as pure
imagination of idle and primitive minds. They can be accepted as observations of realisms,
present in the cosmic mechanism and in the microcosm of human lives and their social living by
people, who had the most receptive mind consciousness. That is why the core philosophy seems
so self-evident and self-corroborative. The core idea emanates out of a realism, which is finality
even today and shall always remain the ultimate finality. This finality is mortality.”
“Shiv, why should you talk about death in such a beautiful night!”
“We are not talking death; we are into life and its meaning. Trust me. Once we reach the end of
it, you shall find that it is the most beautiful thing to talk about.”
Melissa trusts him. She knows, when he initiated her into new experiences, she was reluctant and
unsettled. Now she cherishes them. She understands, probably this is going to be the most
difficult experience of her life and that is why, Shiv is keeping her hands grasped between his
hands. He wants her to travel the road. If he is there, she fears nothing.
“Melissa, take only small steps with me towards the destination. Join me in my consciousness.
We need to put aside our consciousness, which is so used to popular modern ideas and
benchmarks. It is a popular way of thinking that death is the end. We shall accept it as the
beginning of life. We are just accepting the basic premise as one final truth and that is why, the
inevitable has to be accepted as the beginning of all ideas of life. When the assumption is right,
the idea has better chances of being right. The core Indian philosophy starts with finality as the
initiation of all ideas of life. That is why it is self-evident and self-corroborative. Our worthy
ancestors could decipher that even in the definitive and inevitable pattern of mortality; there was
overall continuity and immortality, which permeated in the milieus around them. They could
decipher that in nature, there were elements, which remained continuous and immortal in totality,
even while part of it decayed in cyclic mechanism. This masterly observation was made
available to the genius of imagination and it could be unraveled to them that every life on earth
too had core elements, which were continuous and immortal, even when part of it decayed in
time. This core observation engendered the idea of two distinct but simultaneous elements of the
cosmic realism – the mortal and discontinuous and; the immortal and continuous. They also
discovered that within human life too, the same twin elements existed. The body was mortal and
aligned to discontinuous cosmic elements but the elemental consciousness deep within was
immortal and aligned with continuous elements. The subjective feeling of me, the self as distinct
and different from other human being was just a virtual bridge between the twin realisms of
mortality and immortality. This core idea became the cornerstone of a philosophy, which is
enshrined in the cardinal Indian spiritual system. The yoga philosophy also adheres to this core
idea. Yoga in ancient Indian language of Sanskrit means union of the immortal elements within a
human being with the cosmic elements of immortality. Yoga is a process of attaining the union
of jeevatma (the soul of living beings) with parmatma (the ultimate soul). This core idea also led
to a belief-system, which decided the ultimate utility and purpose of all lives. Yogic philosophy
presents a self-evident and self-corroborative idea of why and what is the true way of living
one‟s life.”
Shiv pauses to gauge whether Melissa has any questions. She has none. She is not into this mode.
She keeps looking in his eyes and occasionally watches his lips. She knows, whenever Shiv
makes her learn something good, it is always meant for her wellness and excellence. The only
thing, which comes in her mind, is the abruptness with which Shiv brought up this talk. She
postpones the question. Shiv continues.
“The core idea was tested empirically in the social milieu. The best laboratory to test and
validate any idea empirically is the human body-mind mechanism itself. The patterns of human
action and behavior corroborated the idea and they finally became a social practice and part of
the larger culture of that time. The culture this core idea evolved, accepted that in life, everyone
is naturally inclined to maximize joys and minimize pains. It was accepted that self-welfare is the
cardinal goal of life for every living being and this is attainable through self-interface or self-
dialogue (aatma-sakchhatkar). The wise of our civilization empirically observed that living
beings are in constant and causative relationship with elements of nature. This nature also exists
in microcosmic form within living beings. In nature, there are both mortal and immortal
elements. They observed that mortal elements are usually expressed in tangible matter and
immortal ones in intangible form. They deciphered that human being could attain their lasting
and continuous wellness only when they establish a relationship with immortal and intangible
elements of nature and life. The philosophy they engendered says – true and lasting relationship
can happen only between similar and generic elements. This is the idea, yogic philosophy
practices in totality and perfection. Yogic philosophy maintains that even the matter shall finally
lead to a-matter, tangible shall lead to intangible and mortal elements shall lead to immortal
elements. This is because, empirically, true and lasting relationship can happen only between
similar and generic elements. The five senses of body mechanism shall initially orient a person to
consumption and gratification. However, the same five senses automatically and finally leads to
the realization that these consumptions and gratifications are ephemeral and mortal. This is self-
evident and self-corroborative as every human knows that mortality is inevitable and the ultimate
realism. Yogic philosophy admits it as self-evident for all that all pleasures of body and all joys
of gratifications have the inbuilt and inherent energy advocating against it. The energies of
attachments and gratifications are entwined with the inverse energies of detachment and
renunciation. That is why, within a human being, the desire and will to have a life of absolute
detachment and renunciation is as powerful as the desire and will for a life of attachment and
gratification. The philosophy, which enshrines the ideals of purpose of life as attainment of
perpetuity of wellness, therefore extends this empirically self-evident and self-corroborative fact.
It says that every human being should consciously opt for a relationship with only the intangibly
expressed continuous and immortal elements of nature, both within the nature of the body-mind
consciousness as well as the nature outside in physically and tangibly expressed domain. It says
that anyone can decipher the practical realism that the flow of energy of gratification is also
joyous but it ends up in the finality of pain and emptiness. Whereas, the energy flow of detached
consciousness keeps augmenting like a flame in the fireplace, which is self-energized by constant
offering of renounced elements of consciousness.”
“Shiv, usually philosophy is something most of us believe as some utopian ideas not amenable to
test of practicality. However, what you say seems so plausible and reasonably evident. However,
what comes to my mind is, if this realism about human nature and life realism is so self-evident
and self-corroborative, why then the whole world is doing just the reverse of it. Everyone is onto
gratifications and consumptions and still they say the world is becoming a far better place to live
as more and more people are having greater personal resources and purchasing power. And as
you said, this gratification joy is as potent an energy as the renunciation is.”
“This is something, which you can say is a natural question. It seems very natural that if there is
a goodness and larger wellness idealism for humanity, it must be followed by all. But, as you
said, most of the people do just the opposite of the idealism. Then surely, it seems like the right
conclusion that as majority of people do not accept it and follow it, it can never be an idealism
and never a self-corroborative idea. We shall deal with the question in a very pragmatic way; not
as philosophy but as prevalent realism. As I told you earlier, we shall take it step by step. The
first step is the very pragmatic and self-evident realism that the powerful energy of joy in
consumption and gratification is entwined with its end in pain and discontinuity. There is this
famous metaphor of equating it with the joy of itching. It starts with so much pleasure when we
scratch an itch. If we continue with it, it finally ends up in sharp pain and even bleeding in very
short time. The idea is that the very core and perennial realization of painful mortality and regret
of any gratification joy, even while we are at the peak of its enjoyment is there from the very
start. The fruit of gratification has seeds of pain and regret of its inevitable discontinuity loaded
within it. Yogic philosophy lists three broad types of grief and pain for humans. As it is the
essential nature of a tangible gratification element, the person who starts enjoying it has this grief
and pain well on in his or her mind that this joy shall finally land him or her in trouble. It is in
fact instantaneous. People globally know that more people are dying because of overeating and
overindulgence. The moment you overeat, you start feeling uneasy. As is human instinct, there is
also a sense of guilt after the action, which we happily ignore but it is stored in the subconscious.
This is first type of grief. The second grief emanates out of the mortality and discontinuity of the
very element of tangible gratification. If I have million dollars, I am always stressed and in
perpetual consternation that this money I may lose in business or in other way. Worse, the
moneys may be robbed or authorities may take it away as tax. Worst enough; I am also unhappy
that my neighbor probably has more wealth and better prospect of being wealthier than me. The
third grief is that when I have once got the taste of a particular gratification, it is stored in my
memory and subconscious mind. When finally the gratification is no more available to me, its
memory becomes an excruciating source of grief and pain.”
“Shiv, I truly understand and accept this thus far. I have personally gone through all this and that
is why, it is more than self-evident to me. I presume, every one of us have our own set of
practical experiences in life, which can truly corroborate the realism, which you mentioned. I
think, the next step to this progression is why and how still, majority of people continue to be in
this gratification and consumption worldview, even when the ultimate futility of it is so
empirically self-evident and self-corroborative.”
“Melissa, this part of the question has answers, which are still evolving. Science has been into
understanding the consciousness of living being and especially humans. Psychology as well as
yogic philosophy has answers but they cannot be accepted as finality because, mechanism of
mind consciousness in its entirety has not yet been fully understood and proven. However, we
have reasonably plausible answers in parts. They at least explain to good extent what you asked
about. They are part answers but together, they make up for a sustainable answer. We all need to
accept answers about decision-making and choices of human consciousness in a very open and
relative way. The first fact remains that all gratification actually begins with an instant and
intense joy. The itch, when we start scratching, extends intense and instant joy. At the point of
start, the joy part is tangible and overridingly present. The impending pain is intangible and
latent, as the joy rules the senses. It is first nature of every living being is to accept and invite
joy. There are so many good and joyous things in this world, which start with pain, and in them,
the joy part is latent, which ultimately prevails in long run. However, people usually never accept
their utility. Part of scientific community believes that it is the way our brain is designed and has
evolved to work. Brain is, unlike other human organs, not a single organ but a cooperative of
layers of it. Its working is very complex and probably has a randomized decision-making matrix.
They however maintain that it is primarily reactive and does not register the time-space
dimensions. This makes our subconscious usually decide for us and as it is good at reacting to
five senses and assigns only instant utility as basis for value-summation, most of us have an
innate consciousness to accept the first and immediate utility of an action or behavior, without
assigning weight and utility to long-term consequences. This is something, which comes to us
through conscious and continuous mind training. The conscious mind needs to be trained to
come out of the instant action-reaction mode and short-term utility of it. Both science as well as
philosophy believes that humans have the decisive advantage of having the faculty and facility of
observance and imagination, to postpone an action-reaction decision-making of subconscious
mind. Humans have evolved to this stage of modern wisdom only because of this facility.”
“Shiv, it seems so contradicting and conflicting. On the one hand, you say, we came this far in
our march to civilization because we have the intelligence to imagine beyond the instant
gratification and reactive instincts. Still, majority of us are so ignorant that we cannot see the
latent trouble in most of our culturally labeled utilities and joys. I have heard how most living
beings risk their dear lives and are even predated, just for the instinctive urge of mating. For
mating, they do such activities, which make them vulnerable against predators. One can
understand that they do it because they do not have the faculty of imagination to postpone or
purge their instinctive action-reaction body urges. But even humans do it, most of them. They
risk their lives for instant self-gratification. Why this contradiction Shiv?”
“There are so many answers Melissa, but unfortunately no single final answer as we still do not
completely know how and why the mind consciousness of humans work the way they do. As I
said, there are part answers still we can have a framework of explaining this contradictory
behavior. The top scientists of today say a very interesting thing. They say, when races become
too intelligent, they become extinct. This somehow explains the latent energy behind evolution
of human consciousness. It is not that science is warning against human intelligence, their
ingenuity and inventiveness now. More than 3000 years back, philosophy of human minds
warned against this. The fact remains that for most people, it is first intelligence to react to their
five senses as they give them the very intense and primary joys of consumptive satisfaction. This
first intelligence has, over the years become adept, procrastinating the latent intelligence, which
warns against it and reveals the painful side of it. Then, there are other socio-psychological
reasons. We live in such a huge and diverse society that most of us are almost detached with
others. In this village society, there are only 75 people and even in a short time of a week, you
have almost known all of them and they come across you every day. In such small societies, it is
very evident and visible to all, how wrong ultimately falls back on the wrongdoer, even when in
short-run, it may seem to bring joys. Therefore, people can see and the truth is self-evident.
However, in our huge and modern contemporary society, we never know what happens even to
our immediate neighbor. At best, we can know about neighbor‟s joys but never their pains. Our
intelligence of maximizing joys and minimizing pains has made us confined to individual joys
and pains. This somehow blinds us of what ills and troubles this modern culture of over instant-
self-gratification is engendering. People all over the world know about your success, name and
fame. They knew what you attained and how you were felicitated for your attainments. However,
nobody wants to know what pains and troubles you went through because of the same
attainments. There is this intelligence of average people, which urges them to label a subjective
blame to other‟s pains. They would always say, he died of liver disease because he boozed too
much. I take just a few drinks and I am very careful about my diet. There is a tendency to make
others failure subjective so that we could dissociate ourselves with it. However, the same
intelligence wishes to make all successes as objective so that it could be associated with all. So,
it is their intelligence, not ignorance, which makes Melissa‟s success as something anybody
could have but her failure as something she created for herself. There are so many independent
explanations of how we all behave and how things are what they are now. All answers however
emanate out of the mechanism of human consciousness, which we are still not able to understand
perfectly. This in turn allows the free flight of fanciful advocacy for our subjective intelligence
and inventiveness.”
“Shiv, now I understand why you always insist on me putting my innocence and honesty to the
front of my consciousness. I understand why the tree of human intelligence should always be
solidly rooted in the soil of innocent honesty. You know Shiv, I always was an innocent empress
my dad made me to be. However, as I grew in the milieu, where everyone was in a race for
intelligence, I thought, it is ideal for an empress to be way ahead of the people in intelligence. I
strived for it and made my mark. I think, somewhere, I lost my royal innocence and crown of
stupid honesty. That is why I faced the troubles like a silly girl.”
“Melissa, you did not lose your innocence. It was just pushed to disuse. Your father wished you
to be like an empress to keep away and aloof from the populism of generic intelligence, which
has come to stay as the cornerstone of all popular societal benchmarks of modern society. For a
while, you dabbled into this populism and that too with great success. You still are the innocent
empress, your father nurtured with so much care and affection. If not, you would not have been
here and journeying the road to a destination, you have almost arrived at.”
“No Shiv, I feel, I have taken a small first step on the road. But I wish to travel the whole
distance and I know, you shall take me to the destination. Shiv, I am so happy and can I be a bit
proud that very initially, I asked you the right questions and it is all the more valid now. You
remember, I had asked you in the Rishikesh ashram to tell me, how to be in a super
consciousness, which enables the self to decide the matrix of all decision-making of action-
behavior, independent of the innate instincts and subconscious mind. How you attained this
facility of being the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your
decision-matrix at any point of time in your life. You see Shiv, I am so good at keeping the
questions alive, which you asked me to do.”
“Melissa, you are not just good, you are brilliant, a true genius. Always remain with your genius
of innocent honesty and simplicity. An empress is special because of that. You are very special.”
“Thank you so much. Now you answer my question.”
“Not now dear empress. It is already too late. We shall talk about this tomorrow morning when
we shall go to jungle and sit near the waterfall. That shall be the ideal backdrop as the answer
involves discussion about nature.”
Shiv goes out to arrange for dinner. She feels his warmth in her hand. All of a sudden, she looks
for a mirror in the room. She wants to see herself. She smiles at the thought that ever since she
came here, she never looked at a mirror. There was none anyway. Melissa remembers, she was
so conscious of her looks and image. She thinks, she did not actually look at herself in the mirror
but at someone, who was a movie star and she checked it quite often to ensure that she looked
like the way people had her image of. Now that she believes, she is one, deep inside her
consciousness, who roams around in the wild nature unconcerned and free. She is one who
enjoys her simple and honest talks with Shiv. She is one who now trusts, her consciousness is
what makes her beautiful as Shiv always says, she beautiful because she is innocent and simple.
She wonders, whether Shiv finds her beautiful in other ways too. She is not concerned, just
curious. She knows deep inside, Shiv sees her as an empress and all empresses are beautiful. She
has no doubts over Shiv‟s words that she is brilliant. She does not wish to ask him anymore. She
is confident, Shiv is caring her so much and pampering her in unimaginable ways not because
her dad probably helped the ashram or Acharya in a big way. He is doing it because he likes her
and appreciates her innocence, honesty and simplicity. She believes, these are the diamonds Shiv
said she had in her and she just needed to dig them out. She decides to wear her diamonds always
as Shiv liked them and liked her for that.
**
CHAPTER 10
The consciousness is a stupid engineering; its mechanism is so intricate and mystically
multidimensional that it keeps people in constant state of flux; engendering layers of realisms,
not amenable for linear understanding of individuals. The elements of milieus outside body-mind
mechanisms keep interacting with disposition of consciousness within. This action-reaction
cyclicality engenders, which mind stores as intangible experiences and memories in the
subconscious. The totality and wholeness of it is a person‟s culture, which sets the boundaries of
his thought-action-behavior domain. As the milieus change in the course of life‟s randomized
journeys, the patterns of its interactions with disposition alters synchronically. This energizes the
incessant cyclicality of learning and unlearning, which keeps an individual‟s overall culture of
consciousness in continuous flux. This flux has the energy of creation and destruction, making
and unmaking going in an intertwined way.
In the last ten days, so much has changed drastically in Melissa‟s outer milieus. Her inner
disposition has also undergone the altered states of consciousnesses. Her culture of
consciousness is in a state of continuous and intense flux. The learning she is undergoing has
cyclically energized a very emphatic process of unlearning. The empress in flux, is in the
unsettled domain of making and unmaking. It is only very natural for Melissa that she has
unconsciously picked up one common thread in all these processes and stick to it for her poise
and wellness. It is Shiv, which is the common factor in all changes in her life, be it the change in
her milieus or in her disposition. He is always the catalyst in her consciousness of cultural flux
she has landed herself. Unconsciously, she has started to cling to him. She feels poised and in
perfect wellness, hugging the fragrance of Shiv and his persona, which keeps muffling her deep
consciousness.
Melissa, as Shiv says, is innocent, not intelligently ingenious to decipher elemental realisms of
life. She is definitely new to the idea of the male element of nature being the initiator of
nurturance and not provision. The males often accept and even pride themselves in donning the
role of a provider, even when their essential nature has to be of nurturer. Genetically too, the
male DNA initiates the process of nurturance of body, which the female DNA goes on to make.
Melissa has been in a culture of male element being associated with passion and provision. With
Shiv, she is beginning to unlearn it and accept Shiv‟s nature of compassion and nurturance. The
female elements unconsciously take to creation when the male elements initiate the process and
ensure a milieu of nurturance and compassion. Melissa has already triggered of the engendering
of creation of something, which comes natural to a woman, when the elemental nurturance of
man sets up the milieu for her artistry.
Oblivious of her inner and subconscious state, Shiv is moving ahead with his plan, which the
chief conspirator has assigned him. He needs to wrap it up fast. Shiv takes Melissa to the jungle
early morning and this time, he takes her to the other side of the cliff, where the river stream
flows calmly over almost a flat slope, before falling from the cliff to form a waterfall. It is calm
there. Melissa walks idly, following Shiv and when he walks a distance ahead, she runs like a kid
and grabs his arms.
“Shiv, I was thinking, if I have to gift you something, I cannot, because I really don‟t know, what
you like most. If you tell me, about your likes and dislikes, it shall be easy for me.”
Shiv does not respond. He does not even look at her. He stops, looks around and finally decides
to sit at a place, which is close to river stream and opens to stretched landscape. He gestures to
Melissa to sit in front of him. As she sits close to him, he picks up a little pebble and puts it in
her hands.
“Melissa, I wish to have a gift from you, which is most precious for me but I know, you shall
give it to me only when you join my consciousness to instill the same value and worth to it,
which I see in it. The pebble in your hand was a huge boulder, placed on the mountaintop,
thousands of years back. The melting glacier brought it on the course of the river, which
corroded it for thousands of years. The boulder has now transformed into a pebble and thousands
of years from now, it shall drift down with the river flow and finally turn into sand particle.
However, despite its journey from the mountaintop to the doors of the sea, it shall retain its core
and essential character. The melting, the corrosion, the drift and metamorphosis of life-living
cyclicality are nature‟s inevitable and randomized processes, which every entity has to go
through. They all shape and design differentiated destinies for different entities. However, lucky
and blessed are those, who retain their character in the entirety of the cosmic causality. If you
think it right and feel what I feel, you can give this pebble as the most precious gift to me with
your innocent and honest blessings that I could be like this pebble and retain my character, in all
the undulations of life, till I dissolve into the doorstep of death. A woman is a mother and a
mother‟s blessing always has certain fruition for her child.”
“Shiv, this is not fair. I cannot agree to it. I want this gift from you. I need it more than you. You
have to take this pebble back in your hand and then give it to me as the most precious gift, with
lots and lots of your blessings; rather all your blessings to me. A man is also a father and a
father‟s blessing always has certain fruition for his daughter. I know that. My dad surely blessed
me and that is why, I am here and now I am going to receive this most precious gift of my life.
You too said it to me in Rishikesh ashram that all diamonds naturally belong to women. This is
my diamond and they belong to me. Do I remind you that I am an empress and you are a yogi?
Diamonds always belong to empresses. Give it to me!”
Shiv cannot resist a smile. He takes the pebble from her hand, dips it in the river water, wraps it
in a fresh leaf and gives it back to her. She clutches it in her palm.
“Melissa, put the pebble back in the river, then only it shall complete its destined journey.”
“But this is my diamond, you gave it to me! It belongs to me now, the river anyway has plenty of
them. Shiv, this is not fair!”
Shiv knows how to best handle her innocent pranks. He rises, takes her hands in his,
affectionately pulls her up and tenderly drags her towards the river. In the river water, he
gestures her to drop the pebble. She places the pebble carefully along a larger stone and gestures
to Shiv that she would pick it back, when she would come alone here. Shiv smiles and pulls her
back to where they seated before.
“Melissa, last night, you had asked a question and now you yourself have answered it. You
wanted to know, how this super consciousness within, enables the self to decide the matrix of all
decision-making of action-behavior, independent of the innate instincts and subconscious mind.
How one attains this facility of being the conscious decider of what should ideally present
oneself with his or her decision-matrix at any point of time in life. You have done it right now.”
“No no. I have not done anything. I was not even onto the question, how can I answer it?”
“You have Melissa. I explain it to you. You accepted a pebble as diamond; inspired a worth and
utility of value of a diamond in a useless pebble, and you felt joy about its possession. And then
you agreed to renouncing it for a larger joy. This way, your super conscious prevailed over your
instinctive and cultured self, engendered a novel matrix of a decision-making, independent of
and beyond your intelligence, disposition and instinctive nature, which otherwise would never
ever accept the utility of a pebble at par with a diamond. Within your consciousness, there is a
culture, a nature and innate judgment mechanism, which usually assigns values and decides the
utility of an entity. They would usually have decided that a pebble is worthless and a diamond is
precious. However, your super consciousness overruled all fixed parameters of your conscious
and subconscious minds and came forward as the conscious decider of what should ideally
present you with your decision-matrix at this point of time in life. Your super consciousness
aligned with continuous and immortal intangible entity, renouncing the mortal value and utility
of the tangible matter. This is something available to humans only. This facility is your super
conscious mind. This facility is essentially a function of imagination, which is duly supported by
memories of experiences we have. Early humans succeeded in evolving fast and better by using
their power of imagination to win over all obstacles. We have the facility to imagine ourselves
out of the body and even out of the milieu to intangibly position ourselves in a situation, which is
virtual and then weave possibilities to turn this virtual realism into a largely realistic one. In
Indian spiritual philosophy, the ancestors prescribed a mechanism to be in exalted state of this
super consciousness. It is essentially, a patterned way to make your intangible power of
imagination highly focused, pure and objectively holistic. Indian philosophy stresses on purity
and objectivity of the super consciousness as this power is open to use and misuse. They
empirically observed that this facility is very powerful and can be used for evil mechanisms.
Mythologies all over the world have stories of powerful evil forces, which also used this same
facility of imaginations for their devilish attainments. Even today, the world over, the trouble is
the same. The power of imagination of humanity is enhancing fast but unfortunately, many of the
creations of the super consciousness are drifting into evil practices.”
“Shiv, this seems a complex notion. I shall need simple explanations.”
“Melissa, I try my best to make it all simple, though it is somehow a complex idea as it involves
multidimensional factors. This is not explainable in scientific language and terms as science is
still not in the stage of finality. What I explain to you are in terms of spiritual philosophy, which
is at the core of ancient Indian worldview. Science also explains the same mechanisms but uses
different terms and frameworks. The Indian spiritual philosophy maintains that there is a
continuous and complex interaction always going on between nature and humans. It defines
nature as drishya, something, which is seen and observed. It constitutes of two parts – the first
being the tangible factors in external environment, which includes the contemporary culture, in
which a human being lives. The second part is the intangible factors of body‟s intrinsic nature or
disposition. This intrinsic disposition has three attributes – sato gun (receptive mode), rajo gun
(action mode) and tamo gun (inertia mode). These three attributes are simultaneously present in
all humans, even while different people may have different mix of the three attributes. Even
science says, people can be identified as of a particular shade of consciousness, depending on
amount and intensity the three attributes of reception, action and inertia in a person. One single
person can be in different shade of consciousness, at different stages of life, as there are changes
taking in the quotient of the three attributes. The society or larger physical milieu, we live in,
also has these three attributes of reception, action and inertia. It is self-evident that in a small and
simple society, where material pursuits are very limited and small population naturally has larger
proximity and intimacy between them, the predominant attribute of the milieu shall be reception.
This shall make the society and its people in larger internal wellness but external discomfort.
However, in the unmanageably large and complex societies, we live today, where there is a
deluge of material pursuits to attain, the predominant attribute of milieu shall be action and in
many societies, where physical comfort and personal attainments have become high, the
predominant attribute shall be inertia. It is only natural and self-evident that such later societies
shall have more conflicts, larger competitiveness, greater violence and less tolerance and stability
but better external comforts. This is so self-evident for all of us. Every attribute comes with an
associated package of societal culture and individual behavior-action. A person living in a
society where reception is predominant attribute shall behave differently than a person living in
the society where predominant attribute is action or inertia. It is empirically observable to all that
the nature or drishya is a realism, which is in continuous change as the attributes and elements
constituting it are mutually contradictory in nature. Modern psychology too accepts this. A
person, who has a dominant consciousness of action, may eventually realize its futility and shall
accept the utility of reception mode. The vice-versa is also possible. The same is true with
societies. In contemporary American society, the predominant attribute is action, even while
large part of it has inertia, because of larger availability of comforts. It is only natural that many
there are fed up with existing milieu and look for a life in reception mode. Indian society has
largely been in the dominant attribute of reception. However, as material well-being is rising, it
is going the old American way and now attributes of action and inertia are taking over. This
change is cyclic with newer elements being introduced in every new cycle.”
“Shiv, it is gradually becoming clear to me as why we all behave in a way, which a dominant
culture prescribes to us. Societal personality becomes an overriding consciousness for most of
us. The popular benchmarks become a rule for us. Probably, this is why dad always asked me to
rise above the populism and be my own decision-maker.”
“Now, we come to another important aspect. There is a realism, which is called drishta, the
consciousness, which sees and observes that intelligence of a person, which his or her current
consciousness lands him or her in. The consciousness has been referred to as the observer of
human intelligence, which decides the matrix for any decision of life, in the larger realism of
drishya (nature and culture). The Indian spiritual philosophy observes that the drishya and
drishta (nature and consciousness) are continuously interacting with each other in a cyclic
causality, in which, each affects other and in turn gets affected. The randomly multidimensional
juxtaposition of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) engender different cyclical
expressions of disposition. These cyclical expressions are infinite and all of them lead an
individual to pains and troubles. This is because, as we talked earlier; these expressions link the
self with discontinuous and immortal elements of drishya and drishta (nature and
consciousness). The interaction of drishya and drishta (nature and consciousness) elements leads
an individual to both gratification as well as renunciation. The Indian spiritual philosophy
maintains that this cycle of gratification and renunciation is such a naturally intense and powerful
realism that most people on earth remain attracted to it and become a part of the cyclic drift.”
“And how to come out of this cyclic causality of gratification and renunciation? How this super
consciousness becomes a reality, which I think you say, takes one away and aloof from this
powerful drift?”
“Melissa, this is the difficult part of the entire idea of consciousness. This is probably an idea,
which is tough for the consciousness to imagine. The practice of it is far more difficult. The yoga
philosophy says, there is a state of super consciousness, which is called „kaivalya‟. This Sanskrit
word has almost no parallel word in modern languages. We can say, it literally means a state of
singleness, a conscious position of only-ness. For us, it is difficult to understand its true meaning
as since long; we have been accustomed to collective and mutual existence and awareness of
self. There is so much of contemporary culture within our conscious and subconscious minds.
We are so used to our consciousness in complete collaboration and concomitance with our
external as well as internal environments that for us, an idea in the domain of total and perfect
singleness and only-ness is beyond even imagination. The idea, as elaborated by Indian spiritual
philosophy enshrines that super consciousness is a state of being, where there is complete and
perfect lack of any connection, causality and coexistence between the drishta and drishya. The
subject, the consciousness, which observes the nature and the decision-making matrices of life,
becomes completely free and detached from the causality and utility of external as well as
internal milieus and nature. This super consciousness is a state of singleness and only-ness – the
kaivalya state of consciousness. The idea is; in both the consciousnesses of gratification as well
as renunciation, if there is a causality and utility of the subject with object, the consciousness
acquires the element of ego and sense of self, as distinct and different from others. This ego has
to go in the state of super consciousness, as this element of sense of self is actually a mortal and
discontinuous element. Kaivalya is a state of consciousness, which is devoid of ego and sense of
self as this state is the true element of immortality and continuity. The singleness and only-ness
has only a singular element of continuity and immortality. This sense of self, needs to go away
then only one can truly attain the state of kaivalya, the state of singleness and only-ness. This is
very tough. There have been people on earth, who attained greatness and even understood the
utility of it all. They became saints and helped the masses. Still, they could not devoid
themselves of the sense of self, and this made them create rifts between different persons. The
evil, which all cultures portray in human beings is this sense of self, which remains attached to
egoistic attitudes. Kaivalya is possible only when this sense of self withers completely. Even
greats are affected by the attributes of inertia and they stop practicing when they attain greatness.
This dooms them and humanity. Kaivalya needs to be practiced lifelong. This is the state, in
yogic philosophy, where jeevatma (human soul) unites with parmatma (cosmic soul). This is
what they called yoga, the union. The different asanas are different ways to discipline your body
and consciousness to arrive at the state of kaivalya. This is also something, the spiritual
philosophy of Geeta, the chief holy book of Hinduism says. Somehow, the modern concepts of
psychosynthesis and psychoenergetics also work around the similar ideas.”
“Shiv, you yourself say this and I too can realize that this attainment of super consciousness of
kaivalya is truly very difficult. I understand that innate nature of we all are so oscillating and in a
state of constant flux, it is really tough to discipline the consciousness to lift it to such heights. If
only there could be a simple way to get there!”
“Melissa, you forget that you are an empress. An empress has everything at her wish and
command. If she wants something, she shall have it. If you want the simple way to it all, you can
have it. Why do you think there is a very stupid yogi with you here?”
“Oh God! How true! I am an empress. Shiv, you are such an amazing friend. Had I found you
earlier in my life, I would not have been into these troubles. You always bail me out, even before
troubles start to trickle in. You just tell me simple steps at arriving at this kaivalya state of
consciousness. I shall follow them as you would say.”
“Empress, there is a price to it. You have to promise me that after I tell you the simple way, and
when we shall go back to your room, there is something waiting for you there, which you shall
accept with a consciousness, which we are talking about.”
“Promise Shiv. I promise I shall do what you say.”
“There is a cardinal rule to the success of every enterprise of life. At the start, every enterprise
looks huge and tough. Human mind, as we discussed, is not good at seeing far ahead. Therefore,
it is always advised to take small steps towards achievement of part of the enterprise and set aim
for smaller goals. Your innocence and honesty is your best preparations to attain your goals. The
simple idea is; it is your imagination, which makes you a winner, when you have to make any
important decision in life. This imagination puts you above and aloof from the immediate
milieus, culture and body-mind instincts, which often either blur your judgment or keep you in a
flux. Worse, it makes you drift with it, beyond your conscious control. You have to use your
power of conscious imagination to accept your being and self as someone, not only your body,
not only your mind, not only your milieus and not even the interaction between them. You have
to accept it as some super consciousness, which observes each of your thought-action-behavior
matrices from a position above and aloof from all the dimensions of your consciousness and
being. This enables you to hold every emotion, instinct and ideas back for a while, sit over them
with an objective and independent super consciousness. As this super consciousness is a
receptive mode facility, you shall be endowed with a power to observe and control all your
instinctive and culturally induced thought-action-behavior of action-reaction mode. As you keep
practicing to remain in this super consciousness self, you shall finally attain the kaivalya realism.
Then, this super consciousness shall become you single and only consciousness. This is the stage
where, you become the conscious decider of what should ideally present yourself with your
decision-matrix at any point of time in your life. This small step you have already experienced
when you accepted the gift of pebble as the most precious thing of your life. You used the power
of imagination to instill a value and utility in an entity, which otherwise, from the point existing
worldview has none. This is a sure facility for personalizing your own wellness and making them
independent of milieus, culture and instincts. Anything you wish to attain in life, in societal
milieu, which cultural benchmarks label as worthy, you shall decisively find yourself in
competition and conflict with so many others, who want the same attainment and that too
exclusively. The success of the enterprise shall only partly depend on your efforts and merits as
there shall always be many factors in milieu and people, which shall be equally decisive. That is
why success in our societies are exception, not a rule. However, when you wish to attain
something, which is possible only just by your simple and innocent resolve, you shall be always
successful. Like your resolve to find utility and worth in a pebble is only your own personal
attainment. This enterprise is successful any number of times you do it. Moreover, the worth you
have created in a pebble shall always remain with you as this is an intangible utility, nobody can
take away from you, unlike a real diamond. The ancient philosophies tell us to align ourselves
only with these intangibles as utility because; our own consciousness has worth only as
intangible. Our consciousness is intangible and continuous and that is why, it shall find lasting
and continuous wellness only in intangible elements. That is why, the philosophy prescribes, true
and lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements.
“So, my power of imagination is my most precious endowment?”
“It is Melissa but this power has to be protected against misuse. This is best ensured when you
have innocence and honesty of character, which you already have. You need to be cautious that
you keep yourself in milieus, both internal and external, which are conducive to protecting and
prolonging your innocence and honesty. If not, then this power of imagination shall always be
involved with your ego and sense of self, which shall then lead you away from objectivity of
imagination. The kaivalya state shall be unavailable, as this sense of self shall put you in the
groove of subjectivity, making you trapped in the cyclic causality of action-reaction. It is equally
important that the body-mind entity remains ensconced in a conducive internal and external
environment. This is crucial initially. Once you have attained the kaivalya state, you can live in
any milieu, as you would then rise above all to be affected by them. Initially, you have to keep
away from contemporary milieus and culture of gratification and action-reaction mode.”
“Hmmm…! Shiv, tell me, if you have to buy this land, where we are sitting right now, whom
you have to knock to? I want this whole land to build a house here.”
Shiv smiles but says nothing. He rises, takes her hand and it is a repeat show. She is unwilling to
move and Shiv has to pull her affectionately and tenderly all the way to her room, where he has
to unravel to her the next stage of the plan, his chief conspirator has designed.
**
CHAPTER 11
Melissa reads both the mails twice, which Shiv hands over to her, as she comes back to her
room. One is from Acharya of the Rishikesh ashram, who addresses it to Shiv, asking him to
come back as soon as possible as he is very ill and need to be taken to specialist hospital for
further treatment. The other is an e-mail print, which her father has sent for her in Shiv‟s email
account. It requests her to come back soon as her mother is worried for her and needs her back as
soon as possible. Shiv tells him that he had found her father‟s mail when he had gone to town
and checked his email. Acharya’s letter was delivered to him by a special messenger.
Shiv leaves her with the letters. Melissa realizes why Shiv looked in a hurry to talk about all
these ideas, as he knew they did not have time together. She understands that Shiv cannot stay
here, as he has to be with Acharya and take personal care of him. She can easily ignore her
mother‟s call but she knows, she cannot stop Shiv from going as his duties towards the ailing
Acharya was primary and of utmost importance to him. After his parent‟s sudden demise,
Acharya had raised him. He was both father and mother for him. She understands the
inevitability of her separation with Shiv but as everything comes so suddenly, she is unable to
accept it. The very idea of Shiv not being with her even for a moment never came to her mind in
all these days. Unconsciously, she had accepted that it was just a beginning with him and
everything around him. The idea of Shiv going away from her and she going back to USA is
something she had never entertained. She looks for him but he has apparently left her with her
ideas. She moves out of her room and walks alone to her favorite spot on top of the terraced
farms, which offers a wide-open vista she likes most.
Gradually, as she accepts the inevitability, she begins to race up her mind to work out a
possibility, which could keep her with Shiv. She has a hunch that Shiv would rush back to
Rishikesh early tomorrow and that is why she only has half the day and night to work out a plan.
After much thought, she could come up with only one solution. She tells herself that in fact, this
is not a solution, rather something, she truly desires. She is rather very happy at the genius she is
in deciphering this simple idea, which would be solution for not only this problem, rather all her
troubles. She is even irritated by the thought this idea should have come earlier to her. She feels
Shiv so much part of her consciousness now that it comes as a natural progression to her. In her
deep consciousness, she feels now that the idea was already imprinted and what is a natural next
step is to just formalize it.
In her innocence and simplicity, she is not even registering Shiv as something distinct and
different from her own consciousness. Like a child, she is happy that she will take it into her
pocket, something she likes and will take home. Kids never believe their parents cannot give
them anything they wish. Shiv has always pampered her like a kid and never said no to her.
Melissa has it that she does not have to ask for something she already has. She thinks, she just
has to tell it to him to inform that she is taking it home for her.
She walks back to village looking for Shiv. She is told that Shiv was looking for her desperately
and as he could not find her near her room, he left a message for her that he was going to the
town to arrange for back journey tomorrow and inform both her father and Acharya that they
were coming. She is told that Shiv would be back by evening. She is happy and goes back to her
room to pack her belongings.
Shiv comes back from town with so many small gifts for her, which were made by local artisans.
He tells her that everything has been arranged and they will leave early morning. She is in mood
to see the gifts and know about anything. She takes his arms and pulls him to her room. It is
beginning to get dark in the room and Shiv wants to get a candle. She does not want it and asks
him to sit with her on the bed as she wished to talk something important. Shiv complies and
looks at her.
“Shiv, I have a brilliant idea. I thought over it when you were away. When we reach Rishikesh,
you shall immediately move away with Acharya to where ever he can have the best treatment. If
he is willing, we can take him to USA straightaway for better treatment. Then we all can go
together. If not, then you can take him where he wishes and I shall go to London and spend some
time with my dad. I really wish that. Later, when Acharya is well and in good health, you will
come to London. Together, we shall travel the entire Europe for months. Then, we shall go to
Rishikesh and get married in the ashram. After that, we shall come back to this beautiful place
and live here till I have the fill of it. Right now, I am ready to leave this place to come back. And
Shiv, when we shall come back, we shall build a wooden house of our own because we shall
come here every year and spend some time. You know….”
Shiv looks at her in full admiration and gratitude; while she keeps talking about all things, she
had thought of, while Shiv was away. She does not wish to leave any small detail of her future
planning unspoken, so that Shiv could feel assured and at peace. She has taken upon her the
responsibility of every bit of future planning as she feels, as Shiv has taken care of her in his
place, it shall be her turn to do it all for him, when he shall be in her place.
Shiv is completely at loss how to handle this unexpected development. He had never imagined
that Melissa could be thinking over this possibility. This is something even the chief conspirator
had not anticipated of, whose plan Shiv was carrying off. Marrying Melissa is impossibility for
him. However, he never imagines to land Melissa even in slightest pain. He is faced with the
toughest challenge of his life. He has to say no to Melissa and still ensure that she is not pained
by his refusal. It would not be easy for him. He cannot tell her the truth and surely cannot agree
to marry her. He is however, very confident of her trust in him. He knows she will understand
him.
Melissa stops her talk and turns to look at Shiv, as he lights a candle in the corner of the room.
She was so engrossed in her words that she did not realize when Shiv slipped away in the dark to
get a candle. Shiv comes back and sits in front of her. She looks at him with expectation.
“Melissa, I know, you do not need to be reminded that if there is anything, which is a possibility
for me, I can sacrifice anything in this world to do it for you. You are so special for me. I want
you to believe me when I say that you are special for me and I wish to do anything for your joys
not because your father has done so much for Acharya, the ashram and even me. It is because
what I have received from you in the last few days, I have been with you. What an empress picks
up becomes a precious thing. You made a stupid thing like me so precious by the touch of your
innocence, honesty, simplicity and so much of golden trust on me. You know Melissa; small
boys here play in the night, when the moon is full. The boys keep an empty matchbox and when
moon rises up in the sky, they hold the matchbox in line with the moon and then close it. They
all celebrate that they caught the moon inside the matchbox. They know it well that it is
impossible; still they are hilariously celebrative of their big attainment. For me, you are like the
moon, which I know is impossible for me to get. I am not even blessed like the small kid who is
happy catching the moon in the matchbox. I do not even have this matchbox. But I have
something, which you have given me – your unflinching trust and confidence on me. And this I
hold out to you with utmost belief that you shall understand me. Melissa, there are ways people
get and feel a bond. You and I are not in a bond of togetherness and proximity because we are
very good friends or we can acquire a nomenclature of some social utility of pairing. You know
it very well that we have shared our deep consciousnesses with each other. You already are in
total and perfect reception of the reality that similar and generic elements are in perfect and
inseparable union. This happens because, we have similar consciousnesses and they have already
merged. Our intimacy and singular consciousnesses are not suitable for nomenclatures. However,
there are factors and situations in physical milieus, which we have to respect and observe. The
innocent imagination of the super consciousnesses within us is beyond boundaries and therefore
does not deem anything as impossibility. However, the body-mind realism operates within
boundaries of physical milieus. What you said is something not possible. It is an impossibility, as
it has to be a reality within the physical milieu, which does not allow it. You have all the rights to
ask me why this is impossible, when your innocence and simplicity clearly sees it as a natural
progression. Here, I very innocently request you to keep your question alive as why it is
impossible. You need to trust me that you shall have your answers in time. Acharya says, don‟t
get stuck to a question and move ahead. If you do not find the right answer, it does not mean
there isn‟t any. May be, it does not come right there because you are still not ready for it. It shall
get unraveled to you when you are ready. I know, you have always trusted me and my decisions.
Just keep your questions alive. Do not allow the questions to prevail over your objective
consciousness. You have the ultimate gravitation pull of innocence and honesty, which shall
draw all answers to you in time. And when they shall come, you shall feel happy and satisfied.”
Melissa does not say anything. Her mind is too busy figuring out what Shiv told her. She remains
in complete trust with him but surely, she wants to figure out, what he wishes her to look at. She
knows, Shiv cannot be dishonest to her. She accepts that what Shiv told her was his innocent
consciousness, which he has shared and that is why, it is easy for her to accept his intents. She
just wants to figure out, what could be there in the physical milieu, which Shiv points out as the
boundary of impossibility.
Shiv moves away and after half an hour, he comes back with a plate of food for her. He sits in
front of her on her bed and gestures her to eat. She gestures back her reluctance. He takes small
morsels of food from the plate and affectionately puts them in her mouth. She accepts them. Shiv
draws back the strands of her tresses falling on her face, gently with his hands. She keeps
looking at his face. He is calm and unaffected by whatever happened between them. After a few
morsels, she stops eating and Shiv holds her chin with his left hand and holds the morsel in his
right hand close to her mouth. She loves the way he pampers her and cannot let go any chance of
receiving them. She opens her mouth and he ensures that she finishes the plate. He makes her
sleep in her bed and tucks the blanket below her chin like a child. For a while, he taps her
forehead to make it clear to her that she needs to sleep well. Few minutes later, when he thinks
she has slept and starts to move away, she opens her eyes. Innocence is what she has in plenty
but she does not keep the treasure with her; she gives it to Shiv.
“Shiv, I am sorry.”
“Sorry for giving me your kingdom and making me the richest stupid on earth? Melissa, just be
with your innocence and honesty; let the elements in time-space be in complete attendance with
your innocence. You shall see the magic that shall unravel to you. Sleep well, let potentials and
possibilities wake up and do their bit. Put aside your action-reaction consciousness and remain in
the super consciousness of total reception. Good night empress.”
**
CHAPTER 12
Shiv moves way with Acharya the same evening they arrive at the Rishikesh ashram. Melissa
takes her flight to New Delhi and from there, she has her flight to London the next day. Her
father receives her at the airport and he observes that Melissa is calm but looks drifted. Her
thoughts are still with Shiv. He asks her questions and she answers them in few words.
Later, when Melissa settles down in her room, her father comes to her and sits in front of her. He
takes her hands in his, as Shiv would do. She smiles.
“Melissa, I have observed you are not in your usual self. If there is something, you wish to talk, I
shall be happiest.”
“Dad, you probably think, I am in poor mood or sad, but you need to believe me, I am very
happy. I have never been as happy and satisfied with my life and this is because of you. In the
last few days, I have got so much and so many beautifully amazing things happened to me, I
really feel blessed and special. However, it is my fault that I wish things to be in a certain way,
which probably is beyond me. But I am not unhappy or complaining. I accept, I have to learn so
many things in my life and practice to perfection many things I have learnt. I know he is right
when he says that there are potentials and possibilities, which are lined up in time-space milieus.
I understand that possession of something we all consider very dear in our lives is a culturally
ingrained notion, I have to unlearn and accept that merger and union of one‟s consciousness with
that dear idea is far more permanent and satisfying. But I need to practice this idea. Nothing
comes to you if you understand but do not practice.”
“Melissa, it hugely interests me to know in detail as what my daughter has learned and what she
wishes to practice. Moreover, I am more anxious to know who is this he, you just referred.”
“Dad, you know him, it is Shiv I am talking about. He is the yogi of the ashram. He was with me
all along my stay there in India. You know dad, this stupid billionaire chased me and kept
pushing himself in my life. I accepted him as then it looked, he was a nice fit into my life, which
I was not very happy of but lived in absolute flux. When he dumped me for a younger girl, I was
actually very angry. My hurt ego was so much larger than life that it led me to hurt myself. I
distinctly remember, I was so upset and angry with me for being such a fool to accept a greater
stupid in my life, who finally became successful in making me an icon of ridicule. It was my
anger against me that unconsciously made me to hurt myself. I felt so bad at myself. Then, there
is a man in my life, who made me realize my true worth and with him, I discovered so many
novel dimensions of life and living. If I can say it, actually, he nurtured me like a father,
provided me like a mother, realized me my potential as a catalytic friend, made me learn in an
unassuming way so many good things of life and above all, like the objective nature, he
introduced me to my true and deepest consciousness. I could not even register how and when I
merged my consciousness with him and as it happened, I thought, it was only natural that we
become partners in life. It is so strange. It is almost impossible to describe this consciousness
with words. If you ask; if I love him, I would say, I cannot say yes. If you ask me if I want to
marry him, I would say, I cannot say yes. It is just that I find him within me; very much like my
own deep consciousness and that makes me wish a simple thing – I want to be with him all the
time. I told him that we should get married and live together forever. In fact, I did not tell
anything like that. I imagined this to be the way we need to be. He said, this was not possible.
You know dad, you might think that I would have felt very sad and angry. You may think that a
girl, who was hoping to be second time lucky with a man, must have felt extreme disappointment
and even anger when she was rejected a second time. No; this is the difference I want to tell you.
Not even for a second, he made me think of it this way. Even after he said no, he was the same
for me and I know; this realization is deep within my consciousness that after that fateful
evening, he is what I am living every moment of my life and shall live with he being with my
consciousness. He has taught me the brilliant idea of powerful imagination as the magical facility
of my super consciousness. He has taught me to respect the boundaries of physical milieus. I am
practicing it every moment to master the artistry.”
Melissa‟s dad carefully listens to her. He is so happy. He thanks Shiv for everything he did for
his daughter. However, this new angle was not something he had anticipated. He had never
imagined that Melissa could ever think of marrying Shiv. He now has to play the ultimate part of
the game plan, he had orchestrated, which Shiv executed brilliantly.
“Melissa, I have to say something to you. I had thought that I would say sorry to you first, before
telling this all but now I know, my beautiful daughter has a consciousness, which is above and
beyond the sorry.”
“No dad, you do not need to feel sorry. I am rather so grateful to you that you made me visit
India and the ashram, where I met Shiv. You are the best dad in the world.”
“Melissa, I tell you everything and then you shall decide how good or bad I am. I start with
something, which also started in India and at the same place, where you visited in Rishikesh.
There used to be a seasonal river near the ashram, which has now dried up and they have
preserved it in a pond. When you were only six years old we visited the place and your mother
was then with me. One morning, I saw you playing with a boy, who was around 11-12 years of
age, near the river. You played a game in which you were his wife and you told the boy to make
a house with the sand. The boy made it for you but you did not like it. You destroyed the sand
house and ran away from him. The boy kept saying sorry to you but you did not look back. The
boy sat there sad. I went to him and consoled him. Later, when I enquired about the boy from
Acharya, he told me that the boy was an orphan as his parents were killed in a natural calamity
when he was only four. Since then Acharya was keeping him with him and taking care of all his
needs. I asked him to send him to a good school and offered to pay for his school and educational
expenses. The boy did very well in his studies and later, I got him to shift to London and
sponsored his college education here. We had separated by then and you were in USA. This boy,
whom you once made your husband, is now a junior professor of psychology with a prestigious
college here. You call him Shiv.”
Melissa could not believe what her dad was telling her. She is now beginning to feel why Shiv
always looked to her as someone she knew before. She regrets not remembering how she played
with him when she was only six.
“Dad, you are definitely the best dad in the world and more than that you are so kind and
compassionate. Now I know, why Shiv always reminded me of you. He has picked up so many
things from you. You know, he also calls me an empress. And he pampers me like you. But why
didn‟t you tell me all this before? Even Shiv did not.”
“Melissa, it was all my plan, Shiv cannot be blamed. He was very reluctant to do all this, as he
never lies. I made him do it because I thought, this way you would learn things better from him.
Shiv has told me everything. We had never thought that you would become so fond of him and
would like to marry him. Shiv could not say yes to you. I do not take it this way but he feels, I
have done so much for him and he respects me so much that he could never think of marrying
you, as you are my daughter. I do not know what he would have done, if you were not my
daughter. When he told me everything, I asked him whether he would like to marry you, if I gave
the permission. What he said makes me unsure, whether he loves you and wants to marry on his
own will. He said to me that I was like his father and he would obey what a father decided for
him.”
“This you leave on me dad. I know him. I told you, we share our consciousnesses.”
“But Melissa, he is truly a yogi and an academician. I have watched him all his youth days. I do
not think he even knows how to be with a young girl. I am afraid; he has never even kissed a girl.
I have never seen him with any girl. I am not sure how good a husband he could be, even though
as a person, he is what every father would like to have as a son-in-law.”
“This you leave on me dad. It is rather truly a blessing for me. A man should always learn life‟s
practical things from the woman he has to be with all his life. I am so happy I shall make him
learn things. He made me learn so many big things in life. I can surely make him learn small
things. I shall call him right now. You know dad, whenever I asked him some question, where he
would have needed to lie, he told me to keep the questions alive, as answers would come later. I
want to tell him, now I have all the answers.”
“Melissa, you cannot call him. He is not available on his Indian number. In fact, his leaves were
suddenly cancelled and he had to come back to resume his classes in the college. That is why, I
had to fabricate the story about Acharya’s illness. He is fine and in his Rishikesh ashram. Shiv is
not with him. He arrived a day before you here and right now, he is probably sleeping in the
guest room in the basement.”
“Melissa jumps on the bed with joy. She hugs her dad. He is too happy for his empress. Melissa
rushes downstairs but stops before the door of the guest room. She gathers herself, waits to calm
her breathe and suddenly feels a bit shy. Slowly, she moves and pushes the doors. It is open. She
moves in to find Shiv sleeping on the bed. She carefully and slowly sneaks into his blanket. She
inches close to him to ensure he remains sleeping. She feels his breath on her face. He looks so
beautiful. She gently kisses him on his lips. Shiv can no more feign his sleep. He opens his eyes
smiling at her. She cannot face his eyes. She buries her face in his chest. He pulls her close to
him.
After a while, Shiv realizes, he has to complete something, which he had left unaccomplished.
“Melissa; once there was a princess, who kissed a frog and he turned into a prince. The prince
then proposed to the princess. Now that you have kissed me, it is my turn to propose. Will you
marry me?”
“No!”
“Why?”
“Dad has told me everything. I made you my husband 22 years back and look how long we have
been married. It is time I think ahead and look for babies. This all happened because of you Shiv.
You are such a bad husband. Had you reminded me of our marriage earlier, I would have
graduated from a wife to a mother by now!”
Shiv is happy that she is happy. He does not need to say sorry to her; she would not accept.
The singularities of life have elemental eccentricities of happening and un-happening; almost as
weird and randomized as love. The elements of one‟s own life and that of the equally precarious
milieus are both patterned as well as un-patterned. The juxtaposition of symmetrical possibilities
amid the larger probabilistic asymmetry of arbitrary milieus engender such beautiful marvels of
life-living experiences, which people can accept only in one way – the destiny! The true and
lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements. Destinies shape this
way. What destiny has in store for all of us shall be decided not by factors outside in our near
and far milieus, rather by what we finally accepts as something, which is our own internal
positioning of consciousness. The moment, we accept, love happens and destiny is signed in.
#####
Accept My Gratitude
Writing something is a daunting task as there is always a lurking apprehension of it not being in
utility for some readers. I however feel at ease, because of my faith in magnanimity of readers. I
am happily sure; you shall forgive if my efforts could not be up to your expectations. Thank you
so much for being with me and allowing me to share with you. Wish you an empowered life;
with the prosperity of the consciousness.
**
About The Author
People say, what conspire to make you what you finally become
are always behind the veil of intangibility. Someone called it
„Intangible-Affectors‟. Inquisitiveness was the soil, I was born
with and the seeds, these intangible-affectors planted in me made
me somewhat analytical. My long stint in media, in different
capacities as journalist, as brand professional and strategic
planning, conspired too! However, I must say it with all
innocence at my behest that the chief conspirators of my making
have been the loads of beautiful and multi-dimensional people, who traversed along me, in my
life journey so far.
The mutuality and innocence of love and compassion always prevailed and magically worked as
the catalyst in my learning and most importantly, unlearning from these people. Unconsciously,
these amazing people also worked out to be the live theatres of my experiments with my life.s
scripts. I, sharing with you as a writer, is essentially my very modest way to express my gratitude
for all of them. In my stupidities is my innocence of love for all my beautifully worthy
conspirators!
**
Other Titles By Santosh Jha
Onlyness
Literary Fiction: A novella about life-living choices from the perspective
of a very successful contemporary woman: Word- 38,000 approx:
Language-English
Short Description:
Dumped by her billionaire fiancé, a resplendently beautiful woman, the
reigning royalty of Hollywood‟s dream factory, lands herself in all sorts of
woes – hospitalization for slipping pill overdose, bad Press, peer group
backstabbing and paparazzi. She escapes to anonymity at India's Yoga capital but the threat of
paparazzi follows. A young yogi bails her out and detours her to an unusual world where he
introduces her to the super consciousness of „Onlyness‟ within her. The redeemed empress
unconsciously discovers her true elements being in linearity with that of the yogi and believes,
she may be second time lucky. However, more shocks await her.
The singularities of life have elemental eccentricities of happening and un-happening; almost as
weird and randomized as love. The elements of one‟s own life and that of the equally precarious
milieus are both patterned as well as un-patterned. The juxtaposition of symmetrical possibilities
amid the larger probabilistic asymmetry of arbitrary milieus engender such beautiful marvels of
life-living experiences, which people can accept only in one way – the destiny! The true and
lasting relationship can happen only between similar and generic elements. Destinies shape this
way. What destiny has in store for Melissa, the empress, who finds a yogi in her new and
metamorphosed life, shall be decided not by factors outside in her near and far milieus, rather by
what she finally accepts as something, which is her own internal positioning of consciousness.
The moment, she accepts, love shall happen and destiny shall be signed in.
**
Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero
Literary Fiction: Novel: A Love Story In Contemporary Culture Of
Conflicts: Word- 78,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description
Battling against hypocrisies, sadomasochism and perfunctory pursuits of
pop benchmarks of successes, he refuses the passion-oriented male
worldview of karma and life‟s purposes. Metamorphosed by compassion,
that love‟s innocence fills him with, he opts for a journey that takes him far away from the
stupidity of self-worth, calculated in terms of personal utility, individualistic possession and
unfettered consumption. Does he arrive?
**
Autobiography Of A Duffer
A witty but insightful narration of „normal‟ and „orderly‟ cultural realisms
of contemporary world, from the perspective of a young duffer. This duffer
believes; a normal person should know how this world looks to a stupid,
whom the world loves to label „abnormal‟ and „disordered‟, to truly
visualize realities of benchmarking. This duffer‟s wife asked him to make it
different; he truly does it!
**
Naked Solutions Of Dressed Up Life Woes
Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence: word- 23,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description
The world we live in; is what it is, neither good nor bad. It is people, who
are the „Theatre‟ of all pains as well as joys. The human mind is the most
capable and instinctively galvanized mechanism to solve big problems.
Still, the same human consciousness is the most potent trouble. The core
trouble is, modern day problems are so „dressed up‟; partly by our complex environment and
partly by our consciousness that we fail to see the „naked‟ reality of the nature of problems. We
can see them clearly, if we „undress‟ them. It is an art, we all can master. How?
**
Habitual Hero: The Art Of Winning
Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence: word- 19,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description
In all of us, there is this definite „winner‟, the genius of this universe.
However, this champion is what we can label as „Random Warrior‟, as it
wins but not always. We all have the determination, patience, courage,
discipline and the mastery to be a sure and sustained „all-weather-all-
season-Hero‟. However, as many of us miss the knowledge and acceptance of this „mechanism
of winning‟, this warrior turns out to be only a „random‟ winner, unable to sustain the artistry of
winning, to qualify as a „Habitual Hero‟.
**
Maya And Leela: Utility In Life’s Futility
Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence: word- 21,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description
Most of us, living in modern contemporary world of complexities,
conflicts and confusion, have questions as what a good and righteous
person should consider as „perpetual-utility‟ in life, amidst the general
feeling of „futility‟ of everything around. What is this singular life and
living positioning, which can make us live the life in a perpetually joyous state of consciousness,
endowed with „true utilities‟, shunning away all those „futilities‟, which land us in pain and
regret?
**
Why We Flop In Love
Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence: word- 20,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description
Love is ideally accepted with three elements of Mystery, Magic and
Marvel. The three „M‟s‟ land most of us in inexplicable troubles and
pains of love. The magnificent dualism is – love‟s mystery makes it
flamboyantly attractive and joyful. Still, the mysticism engenders loads
of confusion, making many of us flop in love. Success of love is in non-dualistic positioning,
which is simple and practical realism, most of us refuse to accept.
**
Wisdom Of Wellness: Perpetuity Of Poise Of Purpose
Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence: word- 20,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description:
One needs to be in lasting physical, emotional and ideational wellness.
Tips, pills, and „shoulds‟ abound; still, wellness is elusive. Wellness is
largely a function of emotional „poise‟ of consciousness. Wisdom of
wellness is in being the „master of mechanism‟, „internalizing‟ the
multifaceted life-living realisms and then, creating a personalized model of wellness. Nothing
„external‟ helps.
**
India Beyond Stampede Of Stupidities
Short Description:
An analytical commentary on how energies of ideas for socio-
political changes, create a stampede of stupidities, when they are
reactive and participants of change fail to observe assimilative
perspectives, compromising the sanity of system, which could weed
out loads of aggression, chaos and conflicts from the soil of struggle.
A global reality, elaborated with India as a case study.
.
**
Youth Sanity In Crazy Culture
Non-fiction: Life Choices for Wellness, Youth Issues of Sexual Behavior,
Personal Excellence: word- 17,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description:
In contemporary culture of hypocrisy, conflict and confusion, where even adults are in a flux
over benchmarks of real success and self-worth, the young being advised about sanity and
sensibility, lands as big joke for them. The youth needs a worldview, enabling them to see
through the hypocrisy and perplexity of pop culture, offering them a date with real intelligence
and life realism.
**
Decipher Destiny: Decode God’s Will
Non-fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence: word- 20,000 approx: Language-English
Short Description:
There is a mechanism to all „probabilities‟ in life, which we call God‟s will.
This mechanism has its own energy and patterns of possibilities. Those,
who succeed, decipher this mechanism and the patterns, which are there for
anyone to see. We attain success and excellence, as we align our personal energy with this
energy of the cosmic mechanism. God‟s will is then in linearity with our wish.
**
Redeem & Reinvent The Art Of Lost Wellness
Non-Fiction: Empowering Consciousness, Life Wellness, Personal
Excellence.
Short Description
The world we live is what it is, neither good nor bad. It is neutral and
objective. Wellness is largely individual onus. As we acquire and practice
those life skills, which make life wellness a beautiful journey for us, our
mind is attuned to them. We then have an auto-mechanism for larger
wellness. Time to test our Life Skill Quotient (LSQ)!
**
Karta: Life-Inspiring Essays On Cognition, Consciousness & Causality
Short Description
The essays in this book unravel the Karta (subjective consciousness) from
the perspective of the new thinking of 3Cs – Cognition, Consciousness and
Causality. The effort is to make you – the Karta, assimilate the core idea
as how a holistic, assimilative and integrative perspective of the 3Cs helps
you in attaining and enhancing personal excellence and wellness. Makes
you meet a new empowered you.
**
Enter 2014 A New You
Non-fiction, Personal excellence and empowerment.
Short Description
Five simple steps, which can make us a super person, endowed with
required skills and personal resources to: Solve our problems; Be a winner
in life situations; Be great in love and relationships; Have a personal
spiritual wellness model and Accept a worldview that makes us cool and
collected, to have a happier and better New Year 2014.
**
Do Write To Me.
Connect With Santosh Jha
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003278213512
Google Plus: https://plus.google.com/101687486477768503275/posts?partnerid=ogpy0
Blog: http://zeroistic.blogspot.in
Twitter: https://twitter.com/sjwrite
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/SantoshJha