on family & dating

8/19/2019 On Family & Dating

1/4

Malcolm Charles

Introduction to Anthropology

Section 2

September 24, 2014

A Comparison of To Cultures! Ideas of "amily and #ating

$ecently, I as fortunate enough to be able to conduct an inter%ie ith a beautiful

young oman, hom I shall refer to as Ms& 'adu(one& )o, I had been friends ith Ms&

'adu(one for a hile before this, so setting up the inter%ie itself as relati%ely easy*

furthermore, I (ne that she ould be the perfect person to inter%ie hen I disco%ered that my

topic ould re+uire someone hose nati%e culture is not American, for Ms& 'adu(one as born

and gre up in Mumbai, Maharashtra, India& So, I notified Ms& 'adu(one, %ia tet message, of

the time frame ith hich I as gi%en to or( and the topic of the inter%ie I as re+uesting to

conduct ith her* I as going to as( her about her culture of origin and her eperience of

American culture& Ms& 'adu(one sent me a tet message bac( saying that she ould be able to

meet ith me that upcoming Sunday, and I could inter%ie her o%er lunch& So, on Sunday,

September 21, 2014, Ms& 'adu(one and I met for lunch at the Catherine -urro $efectory here

at $hodes College, here I conducted the inter%ie, hich lasted approimately 2. to /0

minutes&

"rom my inter%ie ith Ms& 'adu(one, I learned that, in India, the hole concept of

family is +uite different from hat it is in America* furthermore, I as made aare that dating is

much more stigmatied in India than it is here in America&

"irst, I learned that the entire family concept is %ieed %ery differently in India than it is

here in the nited States& In the nited States, parents generally raise their children until around

$MC 1


2/4

the age of 1, at hich point their children mo%e out and ma(e something of themsel%es on their

on, be it college, a 3ob, or hat ha%e you& Then, later in life, hen their children ha%e

established themsel%es in the orld, and the parents ha%e gron old, it is a idely accepted

practice for their children to place the no elderly parents in some institution to li%e out the

remainder of their li%es and die& It is etremely different in India& In India, parents still raise their

children, but they ne%er really epect them to lea%e the house really& They are not and do not

really prepare for them to lea%e, e%en hen going to school and or(ing in their adult years,

many Indian families children continue to li%e ith their parents as adults, or if their children

did mo%e out to ma(e something of themsel%es, there is something a(in to an unritten and

unspo(en agreement that the parents ill mo%e into their children!s home here they ill pretty

much sitch roles for the remainder of the parents! li%es* that is, their no adult children ill

ta(e care of the parents until they die& In fact, Ms& 'adu(one not only informed me of this, but

also told me that she shares personal affinity toards this area of cultural difference beteen her

nati%e India and the nited States of America* bac( home in India, her parents still, to this day,

ant her to return home and li%e ith them and go to school in India& Moreo%er, in India, the

family as it is thought of there, includes hat Americans refer to as their 5etended6 family* that

is, their immediate family along ith aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephes, et cetera& Ms&

'adu(one as, once again, able to confirm this ith me on a personal le%el* bac( in Mumbai, her

grandparents on a condominium in hich not only her grandparents, but also their children7

no adults7their grandchildren, along ith %arious cousins, and brothers and sisters all li%e&

Secondly, in India, dating and se are both hea%ily stigmatied* for instance, Indian

mo%ies ha%e 3ust no started to include (issing scenes in them& Se is apparently an etremely

stigmatied topic in and of itself7Ms& 'adu(one proposed that this could be a result of the more

$MC 2


3/4

rigidly outlined gender roles that continue to eist in Indian society& In Indian society, the hole

topic of se itself is not really discussed openly7it is %ery hush8hush, almost as if se as

something li(e a secret that you ere not supposed to tell anyone& The ay that it as eplained

to me by Ms& 'adu(one in my inter%ie ith her as for me to thin( about tal(ing your parents

about your se life and multiply that by li(e three or fi%e& That being said, there is a significant

difference beteen the ay of life and thin(ing beteen those ho li%e in rural India and those

ho li%e in metropolitan India& According to Ms& 'adu(one, those people ho li%e in rural India

generally cling7for lac( of a better term7to the more traditional of Indian cultural beliefs,

systems, and practices& In her eperience, those families that li%e in rural India are the ones that

are most inclined to continue to practice arranged marriages&

She proposes that this practice of arranged marriage as ell as the influence that gender

roles continue to ha%e in her nati%e culture as to possible contributors to the stigma that is

placed on dating in Indian culture& The ay that Ms& 'adu(one eplained it as that due to the

practice of arranged marriage in India, there is no real reason for dating because you do not need

to be searching for someone ith hom to fall in lo%e, for your parents are pic(ing your future

spouse for you& This is in contrast to here in the nited States here arranged marriages ere

ne%er a significant part of our culture to begin ith* In America, dating is pretty much an

accepted practice and is seen as the normal process by hich someone single searches for and

e%entually finds someone ith hom they fall in lo%e and to hom they get married&

The influence that gender roles continue to ha%e in her culture of origin, is another factor

that Ms& 'adu(one suggested could be contributing to the stigmatiation of dating in Indian

society& $egardless of hether or not one belongs to a family that still practices arranged

marriage, Indian society as a hole still features gender roles in their culture* that is, in India, it

$MC /


4/4

has been a long held cultural belief that omen are subser%ient to men in society& That being

said, in her nati%e culture, there are certain things that a oman is supposed to learn ho to do,

such as ho to clean and ho to coo(* additionally, the time that many omen in America ould

use to begin to date, Ms& 'adu(one informed me that many omen in India atch and learn ho

to coo( and ho to clean properly from their mothers, hich they actually ha%e time to do

because of the fact that they don!t need to date due to their parents searching for a spouse for an

arranged marriage& So, essentially, those members of Indian society ho continue to practice

arranged marriages, hom according to Ms& 'adu(one are still +uite plentiful in number, gender

roles and arranged marriage themsel%es seem to ha%e de%eloped, hether intentionally or not, in

such a ay that the cultural construct of gender roles helps to supplement or augment if you ill,

the other cultural construct of arranged marriage and %ice %ersa* that is, the time freed up for

omen by the fact that they are not dating due to ha%ing an arranged marriage is perfectly suited

for the de%elopment of young omen into hat traditional Indian culture %ieed as 5proper

adult omen,6 ho (ne ho to properly coo( and clean and raise children&

So, through the inter%ie that I as able to set up ith a friend of mine, Ms& 'adu(one,

ho as born and raised in Mumbai, Maharashtra, India, I gained in%aluable (noledge and

insight into a society hose culture is completely different from my on& Also, on a more basic

anthropological le%el, I gained my first eperience conducting an inter%ie ith someone for the

purpose of using the information gi%en to me to act as a ma3or contribution to an academic paper

that I as to be riting& "or all of this and much more, I ould li(e to once again say than( you

to Ms& 'adu(one for her time and illingness to be inter%ieed&

$MC 4

on family & dating

Documents