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100:00:05,494 --> 00:00:06,576Good morning, Dwight.

200:00:09,687 --> 00:00:11,343Who are you?

300:00:11,544 --> 00:00:13,010Who am I?

400:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,282I'm Jim.

500:00:14,328 --> 00:00:16,584We've been working togetherfor 12 years.

600:00:16,833 --> 00:00:18,508Weird joke, Dwight.

700:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,414You're not Jim.

800:00:19,445 --> 00:00:20,844Jim's not Asian.

900:00:21,035 --> 00:00:22,501You seriously never noticed?

1000:00:22,521 --> 00:00:25,556Hey, hats off to youfor not seeing race.

1100:00:27,941 --> 00:00:29,542All right then, Jim.

1200:00:29,912 --> 00:00:31,606Uh, why don't youtell me about that sale

1300:00:31,624 --> 00:00:33,569that you made yesterday?

1400:00:33,601 --> 00:00:35,201Uh, Wellington Systems?

15

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00:00:35,216 --> 00:00:37,875Sold them ten casesof 24-pound letter stock.

1600:00:37,981 --> 00:00:39,798Or were you talkingabout Krieger-Murphy?

1700:00:39,823 --> 00:00:41,104Because I didn't closethat one yet,

1800:00:41,123 --> 00:00:43,719but I'm hoping I've got avoicemail from Paul Krieger

1900:00:43,758 --> 00:00:45,558waiting for me.

20

00:00:46,425 --> 00:00:48,792Please enter your password.

2100:00:53,567 --> 00:00:55,399You have one new message.

2200:00:55,437 --> 00:00:56,376How did you know?

2300:00:56,410 --> 00:00:57,823

No!No, no.

2400:00:57,872 --> 00:00:59,171That is sensitive information.

2500:00:59,173 --> 00:01:01,479Only for employees,not outsiders!

26

00:01:01,497 --> 00:01:03,004Dwight, cut it out.I'm trying to work.

2700:01:03,054 --> 00:01:05,148You don't work here!You're not Jim!

28

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00:01:05,173 --> 00:01:07,204Jim, I got usthat dinner reservation.

2900:01:07,256 --> 00:01:08,556- Grico's, 7:30.- Oh, great.

3000:01:08,576 --> 00:01:10,701Can't wait.

3100:01:13,021 --> 00:01:14,682Jim's at the dentistthis morning,

3200:01:14,722 --> 00:01:17,056and Steve isan actor friend of ours.

33

00:01:17,102 --> 00:01:19,015I don't know who you are,

3400:01:19,029 --> 00:01:20,962but you are not Jim.

3500:01:20,995 --> 00:01:23,696This is Jim!

3600:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,068

Oh, my--

3700:01:29,070 --> 00:01:31,370oh, d--oh, how did--

3800:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,953Sync and corrections by n17t01www.addic7ed.comResync for WEB-DL by Norther

3900:01:55,142 --> 00:01:57,517Hey, study buddies!

4000:01:57,581 --> 00:01:59,204Oh. Okay.

4100:01:59,293 --> 00:02:01,293

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Getting things done. Awesome!

4200:02:01,339 --> 00:02:03,983It's all about finding waysto make yourself more efficient.

4300:02:04,033 --> 00:02:05,249Life hacking, baby.

4400:02:05,289 --> 00:02:07,156This morning, I brushed my teethin the shower.

4500:02:07,158 --> 00:02:08,991Saved myself 90 seconds.

4600:02:08,993 --> 00:02:10,576Which I just usedto explain this to you.

4700:02:10,578 --> 00:02:11,911Damn it.

4800:02:11,913 --> 00:02:15,129Since Andy promoted meto Assistant Regional Manager,

4900:02:15,190 --> 00:02:16,522I've been trying

to step my game up.

5000:02:16,561 --> 00:02:18,210You know, be more productive.

5100:02:18,278 --> 00:02:19,479In fact, you know what?

5200:02:19,513 --> 00:02:21,021Let's knock out a few more of

these sound bites

5300:02:21,060 --> 00:02:23,008while we're here.

5400:02:23,507 --> 00:02:26,008Whoa.That person has really

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5500:02:26,010 --> 00:02:30,095gotten him-- or herself--into quite a predicament.

5600:02:30,097 --> 00:02:32,648S'il vous plait...

5700:02:32,650 --> 00:02:35,601Dites-moi...

5800:02:38,689 --> 00:02:40,973Ah, French.

5900:02:40,975 --> 00:02:42,825It's a great language.

6000:02:42,827 --> 00:02:45,361

If you'rea chain-smoking acrobat.

6100:02:45,363 --> 00:02:47,863I'm just trying to fit inbetter with Andy's family.

6200:02:47,865 --> 00:02:49,949They all speakmore than one language.

6300:02:49,951 --> 00:02:51,533Usually when I'm there.

6400:02:51,535 --> 00:02:53,502You want to learn a reallyimpressive second language?

6500:02:53,504 --> 00:02:54,753Try Dothraki.

6600:02:54,755 --> 00:02:56,205Win over any man in my guild.

6700:02:56,207 --> 00:02:58,340Dothraki is the native tongueof the nomadic,

68

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00:02:58,342 --> 00:03:01,126war-mongering horse lordsof Essos, as featured

6900:03:01,128 --> 00:03:04,630in the superb Home Box Officeseries Game of Thrones.

7000:03:04,632 --> 00:03:06,265It has a lot of nudity.

7100:03:06,267 --> 00:03:09,685Which I fast-forward throughto get to the chopped-off heads.

7200:03:09,687 --> 00:03:11,854I could teach you if you want,it's a lot easier than French.

73

00:03:11,856 --> 00:03:12,972Yeah.Let's do it.

7400:03:12,974 --> 00:03:14,723- Athdavrazar!- Oh--

7500:03:14,725 --> 00:03:16,191It means "excellent."

7600:03:16,193 --> 00:03:17,192And we have begun.

7700:03:20,982 --> 00:03:22,014Is everything okay?

7800:03:22,016 --> 00:03:23,348Hmm?

79

00:03:23,350 --> 00:03:24,650Oh--oh, yeah.

8000:03:24,652 --> 00:03:26,235Yeah, yeah, yeah, fine.

8100:03:26,237 --> 00:03:28,020

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Fine, fine, fine.

8200:03:28,022 --> 00:03:30,239I mean, I d--I just don't want to burden you

8300:03:30,241 --> 00:03:32,157with my massivestress freak-outs.

8400:03:32,159 --> 00:03:33,575Great.

8500:03:33,577 --> 00:03:36,328It's just that I am takingmy driver's license test

8600:03:36,330 --> 00:03:38,714in two days,

and I need to practice

8700:03:38,716 --> 00:03:40,299with an experienced driverin the car.

8800:03:40,301 --> 00:03:42,084But I've had no timeto do that,

89

00:03:42,086 --> 00:03:45,337thanks to "Demandy."

9000:03:45,339 --> 00:03:48,040I just wantto hit the open road

9100:03:48,042 --> 00:03:51,376and drive, man.But...

9200:03:51,378 --> 00:03:52,561in whose car?

9300:03:52,563 --> 00:03:54,763Nellie!

9400:03:54,765 --> 00:03:57,683

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Get your wrinkly old ballsin here.

9500:04:02,023 --> 00:04:05,157Nellie, I could practicewith you in my car at lunchtime.

9600:04:05,159 --> 00:04:06,391Oh, Pam, thank you.

9700:04:06,393 --> 00:04:08,811You are my savior.

9800:04:10,230 --> 00:04:12,247- Oh, my God--- Ohh--

9900:04:13,918 --> 00:04:15,701I'm sorry I'm leaving

you alone for lunch.

10000:04:15,703 --> 00:04:17,870Don't worry about it.

10100:04:17,872 --> 00:04:20,873I have a thing.

10200:04:20,875 --> 00:04:22,708A thing of soup.

10300:04:22,710 --> 00:04:27,129Which I've been wanting to try.

10400:04:27,131 --> 00:04:29,414This is my research

10500:04:29,416 --> 00:04:31,750into how we might producechild-proof paper

10600:04:31,752 --> 00:04:33,936that doesn't give youpaper cuts.

10700:04:33,938 --> 00:04:35,104We can't.

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10800:04:35,106 --> 00:04:38,891And here is a printoutof your genealogy

10900:04:38,893 --> 00:04:40,442from thisisyourfamilytree.com.

11000:04:40,444 --> 00:04:42,561Executive-summary me.Hit the highlights.

11100:04:42,563 --> 00:04:44,096Well, it turns out

11200:04:44,098 --> 00:04:46,982you area distant blood relative

113

00:04:46,984 --> 00:04:50,069of Michelle Obama.

11400:04:50,071 --> 00:04:51,203- As in--- Wife of Barack,

11500:04:51,205 --> 00:04:54,406loves gardening,wants to wipe out fat children.

11600:04:54,408 --> 00:04:56,325Wow.

11700:04:56,327 --> 00:04:58,744This issuper-flattering.

11800:04:58,746 --> 00:05:02,831She's the most popular personin America.

11900:05:02,833 --> 00:05:05,067This is a big dayfor both of us.

12000:05:05,069 --> 00:05:06,752My fellow Americans,

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12100:05:06,754 --> 00:05:08,670I have a feelingmy approval rating

12200:05:08,672 --> 00:05:11,123is about to gothrough the roof.

12300:05:11,125 --> 00:05:16,461Turns out, I amrelated to Michelle Obama.

12400:05:16,463 --> 00:05:18,564I was intimidatedby Andy's family before.

12500:05:18,566 --> 00:05:21,517And now I have to seethe First Lady at holidays?

12600:05:21,519 --> 00:05:22,651She's gonna be like,

12700:05:22,653 --> 00:05:24,153"what's your stanceon politics?"

12800:05:24,155 --> 00:05:26,605Or, "what is

the best war to do?"

12900:05:26,607 --> 00:05:28,907And I will just be like,

13000:05:28,909 --> 00:05:30,526"duh--"

13100:05:30,528 --> 00:05:31,660All right!

13200:05:31,662 --> 00:05:34,079We gotta get rid ofall this junk food.

13300:05:34,081 --> 00:05:35,697Get fit, America!

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13400:05:35,699 --> 00:05:39,284Not sure if the buzz has reachedthe annex yet, but, uh,

13500:05:39,286 --> 00:05:42,671I'm related to Michelle Obama.

13600:05:45,592 --> 00:05:46,825Yeah, we noticed early on

13700:05:46,827 --> 00:05:48,794Andy really appreciatesenthusiasm.

13800:05:48,796 --> 00:05:50,596So we decided the best wayto get ahead here

139

00:05:50,598 --> 00:05:51,880is to be his cheerleaders.

14000:05:51,882 --> 00:05:54,383Ohh!

14100:06:01,724 --> 00:06:03,559It's starting to have thisreverse effect, though,

142

00:06:03,561 --> 00:06:06,311where I really do thinkthe stuff he does is awesome.

14300:06:06,313 --> 00:06:07,863Yeah, me too.It's weird.

14400:06:07,865 --> 00:06:09,648Hard to remember what's realat this point.

14500:06:09,650 --> 00:06:12,317Just clap through it, man.

14600:06:12,319 --> 00:06:15,237You're logging salesat ten different times.

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14700:06:15,239 --> 00:06:18,123If you log 'em all at once,you save a lot of time.

14800:06:18,125 --> 00:06:19,124It's called batching.

14900:06:19,126 --> 00:06:20,242This is really good, Darryl.

15000:06:20,244 --> 00:06:21,794Life hacking, man.

15100:06:21,821 --> 00:06:22,803There he is!

15200:06:22,828 --> 00:06:24,134Andy, you gotta

check this out. He just--

15300:06:25,466 --> 00:06:28,417Right now I needcanned tuna, okay?

15400:06:28,419 --> 00:06:31,303Darryl, guesswhich talented individual

155

00:06:31,305 --> 00:06:33,472who also hasa killer singing voice

15600:06:33,474 --> 00:06:35,641is related to the First Lady.

15700:06:35,643 --> 00:06:37,509Tracee Ellis Ross.

158

00:06:37,511 --> 00:06:41,313Daughter of the First Ladyof Motown, Diana Ross.

15900:06:41,315 --> 00:06:42,347It's me!

16000:06:42,349 --> 00:06:43,816

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I'm related to Michelle Obama.

16100:06:43,818 --> 00:06:45,517What?Really?

16200:06:45,519 --> 00:06:47,486I mean, it's distant,but--

16300:06:47,488 --> 00:06:50,088That's cool, man.

16400:06:50,090 --> 00:06:51,323Right?

16500:06:51,325 --> 00:06:54,226Darryl said,"cool, man."

16600:06:54,228 --> 00:06:56,561He called me a cool man.

16700:06:59,232 --> 00:07:01,917You know, I really do think itwould be worth it to pull over

16800:07:01,919 --> 00:07:03,502and just take

ten minutes to eat.

16900:07:03,504 --> 00:07:05,838Mm--the thing is, Pam,

17000:07:05,840 --> 00:07:07,589I'm gonna be eatingwhile I'm driving,

171

00:07:07,591 --> 00:07:09,041so I might as wellget good at it.

17200:07:09,043 --> 00:07:11,543Brake lights. Brake lights,brake lights, brake lights!

173

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00:07:11,545 --> 00:07:13,378Whoo!

17400:07:13,380 --> 00:07:15,881I'm just saying, what does itimply in this country

17500:07:15,883 --> 00:07:18,550when a white person sharesan ancestor with a black person?

17600:07:18,552 --> 00:07:21,186You think that Andy's familyowned slaves?

17700:07:21,188 --> 00:07:23,588Well, somebody owned somebody.

17800:07:23,590 --> 00:07:27,192

And I don't think anybodywould buy an Andy.

17900:07:27,194 --> 00:07:28,277I throat-rip.

18000:07:28,279 --> 00:07:29,645Foth aggendak.

18100:07:29,647 --> 00:07:30,863

You throat-rip.

18200:07:30,865 --> 00:07:32,097Foth aggendi.

18300:07:32,099 --> 00:07:33,649He-she-it throat-rips.

18400:07:33,651 --> 00:07:34,700Foth aggenda.

18500:07:34,702 --> 00:07:35,934More of a barbaric growl.

18600:07:35,936 --> 00:07:37,369Foth aggenda.

187

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00:07:37,371 --> 00:07:39,321Louder. You're shouting itfrom the back of a horse.

18800:07:39,323 --> 00:07:41,073Foth aggenda!

18900:07:41,075 --> 00:07:43,909Pretty crazy about Andyand Michelle Obama, huh?

19000:07:43,911 --> 00:07:46,211Yeah.

19100:07:46,213 --> 00:07:48,997It's almost unbelievable.

19200:07:48,999 --> 00:07:50,048What?

19300:07:50,050 --> 00:07:51,717Well, do you know howAndy has been

19400:07:51,719 --> 00:07:54,619really saltingmy onions lately?

19500:07:54,621 --> 00:07:55,888

Sure.

19600:07:55,890 --> 00:07:58,056Well, when he asked meto look up his ancestry online,

19700:07:58,058 --> 00:08:00,058I remembered that news storyabout Michelle Obama

198

00:08:00,060 --> 00:08:02,511having white relatives,and I just knew

19900:08:02,513 --> 00:08:04,963he would eat that up.

20000:08:04,965 --> 00:08:07,399

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So he's not relatedto Michelle Obama?

20100:08:07,401 --> 00:08:08,767Pam,

20200:08:08,769 --> 00:08:13,739I barely know howto turn on my computer.

20300:08:13,741 --> 00:08:15,991Nellie's pretty fearless.

20400:08:15,993 --> 00:08:19,828And I think she might bemaybe even almost sort of fun.

20500:08:19,830 --> 00:08:21,163Pam!

20600:08:24,817 --> 00:08:26,335Well, if there's anotherexplanation,

20700:08:26,337 --> 00:08:28,870I don't really seewhat it could possibly be.

20800:08:28,872 --> 00:08:30,255

I--

20900:08:30,257 --> 00:08:32,257What's going on here?

21000:08:32,259 --> 00:08:34,343I'm relatedto the First Lady, okay?

21100:08:34,345 --> 00:08:36,128

Get over it.

21200:08:36,130 --> 00:08:38,297I still need weeklystatus reports from most of you.

21300:08:38,299 --> 00:08:41,383So can we get

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back to work, please?

21400:08:41,385 --> 00:08:42,551Get back to work.

21500:08:45,856 --> 00:08:47,222Andy--

21600:08:47,224 --> 00:08:48,273Andy, no!

21700:08:48,275 --> 00:08:50,175I would be very polite today.

21800:08:50,177 --> 00:08:51,843Why, is it employees' dayor something?

219

00:08:51,845 --> 00:08:53,946I cannot keep trackof these BS holidays.

22000:08:53,948 --> 00:08:55,847Your connectionto Michelle Obama

22100:08:55,849 --> 00:08:59,351has certain negativeconnotations.

22200:08:59,353 --> 00:09:01,853Most likely,your family were...

22300:09:01,855 --> 00:09:04,039slave owners.

22400:09:04,041 --> 00:09:05,574Does anyone else

think it's possible

22500:09:05,576 --> 00:09:08,627that I come from slave owners?

22600:09:11,998 --> 00:09:14,499Whoa.That person has really

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22700:09:14,501 --> 00:09:17,052gotten him-- or herself--into quite a predicament.

22800:09:18,485 --> 00:09:20,025Hey, mom, it's Andy.Give me a call

22900:09:20,044 --> 00:09:21,857when you get a chance.Got a quick question for you.

23000:09:21,891 --> 00:09:24,054Uh, no big deal, just aboutAmerica's national shame.

23100:09:24,079 --> 00:09:26,235Thanks, bye.

23200:09:27,122 --> 00:09:28,154Where were we?

23300:09:28,197 --> 00:09:29,730Uh-- yes,okay.

23400:09:29,768 --> 00:09:32,060Your... productivity thing.

23500:09:32,082 --> 00:09:33,399Yes, yes, yes.

23600:09:33,423 --> 00:09:34,380Great.

23700:09:34,411 --> 00:09:36,728Ooh, spreadsheets.Yum, yum.

23800:09:36,987 --> 00:09:38,270I included sometime-saving ideas.

23900:09:38,295 --> 00:09:39,114Uh-huh, uh-huh,uh-huh.

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24000:09:39,139 --> 00:09:40,202Look, I'm not gonna lie to you.

24100:09:40,223 --> 00:09:42,293I'm a teensy bitdistracted right now.

24200:09:42,365 --> 00:09:44,398Look, Andy, evenif your ancestors

24300:09:44,594 --> 00:09:47,512did own slaves,it wouldn't be your fault.

24400:09:47,514 --> 00:09:50,177This is only weirdif you make it weird.

24500:09:50,406 --> 00:09:52,073Right on, brother.

24600:09:52,147 --> 00:09:53,146Word dat.

24700:09:53,167 --> 00:09:54,333Mm--

24800:09:54,891 --> 00:09:58,148- Ador!- Daras.

24900:09:58,656 --> 00:09:59,469Qazer!

25000:09:59,503 --> 00:10:01,086Daras.

25100:10:01,137 --> 00:10:03,421Does anyone here havefermented mare's milk?

25200:10:08,373 --> 00:10:09,540Hey, Erin.

253

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00:10:09,542 --> 00:10:11,092Atchomar chomakaan!

25400:10:11,332 --> 00:10:13,050Oh-- okay.

25500:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,863Sorry.

25600:10:15,181 --> 00:10:17,300Oh, still, it must be greatto have something else going on

25700:10:17,318 --> 00:10:18,388outside of work.

25800:10:18,421 --> 00:10:20,221Yeah--turn signal.

25900:10:20,236 --> 00:10:21,735It's exciting to bepainting again--

26000:10:21,737 --> 00:10:22,770those are the wipers.

26100:10:22,772 --> 00:10:24,647So the--

it's just--

26200:10:24,715 --> 00:10:25,831there you go.Yeah.

26300:10:27,226 --> 00:10:28,909Yeah, things get so busywith the kids--

264

00:10:28,911 --> 00:10:31,412red light-- that it's niceto have that creative outlet--

26500:10:31,414 --> 00:10:32,746red light, red light,red, red--

266

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00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:38,169That is brilliant, Pam.

26700:10:38,171 --> 00:10:39,703I'd love to seesome of your work.

26800:10:39,705 --> 00:10:41,372Well, since we're stoppedat a light...

26900:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,842uh, here is...

27000:10:44,844 --> 00:10:47,845the mural I didfor Angela's baby.

27100:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,581

That is amazing, Pam.

27200:10:50,583 --> 00:10:53,934Oh, I lovethe lion in the tuxedo.

27300:10:53,936 --> 00:10:58,589Angela insisted that allthe animals be fully clothed.

274

00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:02,943Hey, has anyone turned intheir status reports up here?

27500:11:02,945 --> 00:11:05,362Vos.

27600:11:05,364 --> 00:11:08,098So no?

277

00:11:08,100 --> 00:11:09,783Do you think maybeyou could remind people?

27800:11:09,785 --> 00:11:12,036I'm trying to downplay the wholebossy-boss thing today.

279

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00:11:12,038 --> 00:11:13,070Because of your slaves.

28000:11:13,072 --> 00:11:16,574Not my slaves, my ancestors'.

28100:11:16,576 --> 00:11:19,109Maybe.Probably not.

28200:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,045Well, if it makes youfeel any better,

28300:11:21,047 --> 00:11:23,280the Dothraki wordfor "slave master,"

28400:11:23,282 --> 00:11:27,551

azzafrok, is a term of respect.

28500:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,553I'm learninghow to speak Dothraki.

28600:11:29,555 --> 00:11:30,787Color you impressed?

28700:11:30,789 --> 00:11:32,590

- That you're learninga made-up language

28800:11:32,592 --> 00:11:35,009from HBO's Game of Thrones?

28900:11:35,011 --> 00:11:38,479I have a lot going on today,

29000:11:38,481 --> 00:11:42,466

but this wasa great nerd-out.

29100:11:42,468 --> 00:11:43,974Dwight, you didn't tell meyou were teaching me

29200:11:43,993 --> 00:11:45,049

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a fake language.

29300:11:45,148 --> 00:11:46,554People laughed at Klingonat first,

29400:11:46,606 --> 00:11:49,337and now you can major in it.

29500:11:52,644 --> 00:11:53,644Hi, guys.

29600:11:53,646 --> 00:11:55,829Hey, boss.I am so thirsty,

29700:11:55,831 --> 00:11:57,915can I have a scoop of water?

29800:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,034Yeah.You don't have to ask me--

29900:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,005Ha ha.Okay, great.

30000:12:05,007 --> 00:12:06,173Very funny.

I get it.

30100:12:06,175 --> 00:12:08,008Just because my ancestorshappened to be--

30200:12:16,935 --> 00:12:18,719Very funny,Kevin changed my ringtone.

303

00:12:18,721 --> 00:12:20,003Very funny.

30400:12:20,005 --> 00:12:22,473I liked the original songon my ringtone.

30500:12:22,475 --> 00:12:24,108

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Which, you may remember,

30600:12:24,110 --> 00:12:26,360was Diamonds on the Solesof Her Shoes by Paul Simon,

30700:12:26,362 --> 00:12:28,011featuring,

30800:12:28,013 --> 00:12:32,516Ladysmith African-AmericanMombazo.

30900:12:34,452 --> 00:12:38,455Good. Very good.

31000:12:38,457 --> 00:12:41,041Oh-- no.

31100:12:41,043 --> 00:12:43,193Here, it's, uh,a text from Andy.

31200:12:43,195 --> 00:12:46,580"New special proj.Need fam. Tree for evbody.

31300:12:46,582 --> 00:12:49,216"Really dig up dirt.

ASAP."

31400:12:49,218 --> 00:12:50,301And then in parentheses

31500:12:50,303 --> 00:12:51,802he wrote out,"as soon as possible."

31600:12:51,804 --> 00:12:52,970

Mm.

31700:12:52,972 --> 00:12:57,241Ugh, looks likeit's pretendy time again.

31800:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,809Write back,

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31900:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,694"looking for dirt."

32000:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,496Oh, can I help?

32100:13:02,498 --> 00:13:05,148We could say someoneis related to, um,

32200:13:05,150 --> 00:13:07,201Tonya Harding.

32300:13:07,203 --> 00:13:10,487Pam, I'm relatedto Tonya Harding.

324

00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:11,589Oh--gee, I'm--

32500:13:11,591 --> 00:13:14,675No, I'm justpracticing my lying.

32600:13:14,677 --> 00:13:16,827- I love it.- Brilliant.

32700:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,963What should we say about Jim?

32800:13:18,965 --> 00:13:22,266Um, oh-- uh, sayhe's related to Richard Nixon.

32900:13:22,268 --> 00:13:23,384It's an inside joke.

33000:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,269He looks really Nixonywhen he wakes up.

33100:13:25,271 --> 00:13:27,438My ex behaved like Nixon.

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33200:13:27,440 --> 00:13:31,725All of the lying,none of the sexual charisma.

33300:13:31,727 --> 00:13:33,844I just made a joke then.

33400:13:33,846 --> 00:13:34,945I'm sorry.

33500:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,530It's just, um--

33600:13:36,532 --> 00:13:38,048I actually do havethis weird feeling

33700:13:38,050 --> 00:13:39,683

that there's somethingJim isn't telling me.

33800:13:39,685 --> 00:13:41,568Oh, no.

33900:13:41,570 --> 00:13:43,103Ugh, an affair.

34000:13:43,105 --> 00:13:45,356

It is always an affair.

34100:13:45,358 --> 00:13:47,191Jim?No.

34200:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,326How can you be sure?

34300:13:49,328 --> 00:13:53,280

Because he justloves me too much.

34400:13:53,282 --> 00:13:56,500You're a cocky little thing,aren't you, Pam?

34500:13:56,502 --> 00:14:00,537

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I have done a littlegenealogy research of my own.

34600:14:00,539 --> 00:14:03,207Turns out I'm not the only onewith a few skeletons

34700:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,342in the ol' family closet.

34800:14:05,344 --> 00:14:07,911For example,

34900:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,546Phyllis'great-great-grandmother

35000:14:09,548 --> 00:14:12,850was responsible for spreading

cholera to the United States.

35100:14:12,852 --> 00:14:13,934Ew.

35200:14:13,936 --> 00:14:16,720Kevin is related to bothJohn Wayne Gacy

35300:14:16,722 --> 00:14:18,389

and John Wayne Bobbitt.

35400:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,858And John Wayne?

35500:14:20,860 --> 00:14:22,359No. Not thatI see here.

35600:14:22,361 --> 00:14:25,145

Wayne Johnson?The Rock?

35700:14:25,147 --> 00:14:28,232You mean Dwayne, and no.

35800:14:28,234 --> 00:14:30,067What about Jim Halpert?

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Uh-oh.

35900:14:30,069 --> 00:14:32,936Turns out, distant relativeof the reviled

36000:14:32,938 --> 00:14:34,822Richard Nixon.

36100:14:34,824 --> 00:14:36,907Pam always saysI look like Nixon.

36200:14:36,909 --> 00:14:38,709That's crazy, right?

36300:14:38,711 --> 00:14:41,295I mean, there's nothing there.

36400:14:41,297 --> 00:14:46,116Tru--

36500:14:46,118 --> 00:14:48,535Oh, no.

36600:14:48,537 --> 00:14:49,636Dwight's grandfather--

367

00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,422Was a member of the Bund,

36800:14:51,424 --> 00:14:53,474which is not technicallythe same thing

36900:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,508as the Nazi party.

370

00:14:54,510 --> 00:14:57,177So--

37100:14:57,179 --> 00:14:59,313I was gonna sayhe was a tax evader.

37200:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,315

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Oh.

37300:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,400I was joking aboutthat whole Bund thing.

37400:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,235Oh-ho, the lookon your faces.

37500:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,940And Meredithis a blood relative

37600:15:09,942 --> 00:15:11,024of Lizzie Borden.

37700:15:11,081 --> 00:15:12,020Cool.

37800:15:13,175 --> 00:15:14,601Stop it! Stop it,you're frightening me.

37900:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,597Andy, did you call this meeting

38000:15:16,634 --> 00:15:18,553just to talk junk

about our families?

38100:15:18,584 --> 00:15:20,650Yeah, that-- you're beingreally mean.

38200:15:20,652 --> 00:15:22,986No, I'm proving a point, okay?

38300:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,654

We all have ancestorswho may have

38400:15:24,656 --> 00:15:26,823done horrible thingsin the past.

38500:15:26,825 --> 00:15:29,259

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But it's in the past,and it's not our fault.

38600:15:29,261 --> 00:15:31,161So we don't haveto talk about it.

38700:15:31,163 --> 00:15:33,514The difference is, Andy,that you're the only one here

38800:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,350still benefittingfrom the terrible things

38900:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,501your ancestors did.

39000:15:37,503 --> 00:15:40,304

Might have done,and how do you figure?

39100:15:40,306 --> 00:15:41,972Your family's rich.

39200:15:41,974 --> 00:15:43,357I have to believethat a big part

393

00:15:43,359 --> 00:15:46,009of the Bernard fortune wasearned on the backs of slaves.

39400:15:46,011 --> 00:15:47,144You know, there's nothing wrong

39500:15:47,146 --> 00:15:48,845with being successfulin America, Oscar.

39600:15:48,847 --> 00:15:51,231I'm not gonna apologizefor my family's wealth.

39700:15:51,233 --> 00:15:54,684That wealth could one daybenefit society,

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39800:15:54,686 --> 00:15:56,670if capital gains are evertaxed at the same rate

39900:15:56,672 --> 00:15:57,721as earned income.

40000:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,375Okay, Kevin did that.

40100:16:01,377 --> 00:16:04,044I do not wish I was in Dixie.

40200:16:04,046 --> 00:16:05,295Hey, mom.How are you?

40300:16:05,297 --> 00:16:08,215

Did any Bernards ever own

40400:16:08,217 --> 00:16:11,552a plantation in the South?

40500:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,137She said no.Take that!

40600:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,439

Follow-up question,did any Bernards

40700:16:15,441 --> 00:16:18,475ever make moneyin an unsavory way?

40800:16:23,398 --> 00:16:24,615I just asked you--

409

00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:26,533why didn't youused to say that?

41000:16:26,535 --> 00:16:28,235Okay, stop, stop.

41100:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,486

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Stop talking.Stop talking.

41200:16:29,488 --> 00:16:32,489That's-- no.I don't want to know that.

41300:16:32,491 --> 00:16:33,874Okay, you're interruptinga meeting.

41400:16:33,876 --> 00:16:34,908I have to go.

41500:16:34,910 --> 00:16:37,661Love you.Bye.

41600:16:37,663 --> 00:16:41,048

Well, turns out the Bernardsof yore did not own slaves.

41700:16:41,050 --> 00:16:42,299Really.

41800:16:42,301 --> 00:16:43,884We merely transported them.

41900:16:43,886 --> 00:16:47,721

Which, at worst,makes us amoral middlemen.

42000:16:54,275 --> 00:16:56,087Yo, D-Dog.I need your help.

42100:16:56,111 --> 00:16:57,718I'm trying to think of thingsI can say that make it

42200:16:57,723 --> 00:16:59,222sound like I had a soredifficult childhood

42300:16:59,243 --> 00:17:00,078than I actually had.

424

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00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:01,596- You gonna po' mouth.- Exactly.

42500:17:01,609 --> 00:17:03,051Help me po' mouth, Darryl.

42600:17:03,080 --> 00:17:05,196Actually, Andy,you promised me five minutes

42700:17:05,314 --> 00:17:06,908to talk about productivitysuggestions--

42800:17:06,939 --> 00:17:09,027What if I saidthat my dad beat me,

429

00:17:09,201 --> 00:17:11,652and I just left outthe croquet of it all?

43000:17:11,991 --> 00:17:14,129Or, I could just go all the way

43100:17:14,164 --> 00:17:15,552and say I grew upin an apartment.

43200:17:15,591 --> 00:17:17,324Or is that too crazy?

43300:17:17,326 --> 00:17:19,276That could work.

43400:17:19,278 --> 00:17:20,994You know, Darryl, this is

435

00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:23,463textbook assistant regionalmanager stuff here,

43600:17:23,465 --> 00:17:26,299and I feel like I'm doingall the heavy lifting.

437

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00:17:26,301 --> 00:17:28,702I'm coming upwith all the ideas here.

43800:17:28,704 --> 00:17:30,721I'm going for a walk.

43900:17:30,723 --> 00:17:32,756Okay.

44000:17:38,179 --> 00:17:39,846Good...

44100:17:39,848 --> 00:17:40,981Good, and--

44200:17:53,578 --> 00:17:55,112You doing all right, man?

44300:17:55,114 --> 00:17:57,447I'm done.

44400:17:57,449 --> 00:17:59,583I gotta get out of here.

44500:17:59,585 --> 00:18:01,084Yeah.

446

00:18:01,086 --> 00:18:04,037Not the easiest day to beAssistant Regional Manager.

44700:18:04,039 --> 00:18:06,840It's not just today,it's every day.

44800:18:06,842 --> 00:18:08,759Seems likethe better title I have,

44900:18:08,761 --> 00:18:10,577the stupider my job gets.

45000:18:10,579 --> 00:18:14,097Aw, come on, it can alwaysget better, right?

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45100:18:14,099 --> 00:18:16,967Hmm.Yeah, right.

45200:18:16,969 --> 00:18:18,051No, I'm serious.

45300:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,554There's alwayssomething better.

45400:18:20,556 --> 00:18:21,772Like what?

45500:18:21,774 --> 00:18:24,641Like, hypothetically,

45600:18:24,643 --> 00:18:27,811

if I said thatthere was another job

45700:18:27,813 --> 00:18:30,263that you and I could both have.

45800:18:30,265 --> 00:18:32,098What kind of job?

45900:18:32,100 --> 00:18:37,404

Something cool,like sports marketing, or--

46000:18:37,406 --> 00:18:38,905does that sound likesomething you'd be into?

46100:18:38,907 --> 00:18:40,073- Hell yeah.- Right?

46200:18:40,075 --> 00:18:41,124That sounds awesome.

46300:18:41,126 --> 00:18:42,242Okay, but wait.What if I told you

464

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00:18:42,244 --> 00:18:43,293that it was in Philly?

46500:18:43,295 --> 00:18:44,995- So you'd have to--- I love Philly.

46600:18:44,997 --> 00:18:46,379Right?

46700:18:46,381 --> 00:18:48,248- It's not even a thought--- Not even a thought.

46800:18:48,250 --> 00:18:52,002It's not even that far away,I could still commute-- exactly.

46900:18:52,004 --> 00:18:53,670

Exactly.

47000:18:53,672 --> 00:18:55,622All right.

47100:18:55,624 --> 00:18:56,723What?Wait, wait, wait.

47200:18:56,725 --> 00:18:58,188

So what, is this happening?

47300:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,101Oh, it's happening.

47400:19:00,134 --> 00:19:01,466Let's just keep itbetween you and me

47500:19:01,487 --> 00:19:03,125

- for right now, all right?- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

47600:19:03,143 --> 00:19:04,100For sure, for sure, for sure.

47700:19:04,132 --> 00:19:06,682Man.

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Needs something, doesn't it?

49100:19:32,262 --> 00:19:33,478I'm thinking,

49200:19:33,512 --> 00:19:35,993a mural.

49300:19:36,365 --> 00:19:37,234You mean me?

49400:19:37,272 --> 00:19:38,652Yes, you.

49500:19:38,700 --> 00:19:41,275You are so talented.

49600:19:41,386 --> 00:19:43,220

It's going to be my nextspecial project.

49700:19:43,222 --> 00:19:45,806Hiring Scranton's mostdangerous young muralist

49800:19:45,845 --> 00:19:47,689to paint the warehouse wall.

499

00:19:47,729 --> 00:19:49,195Oh, my God, I love it!

50000:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,656Uh-- I--Nellie,

50100:19:50,696 --> 00:19:52,445this is brilliant!

502

00:19:52,747 --> 00:19:53,753- Hey!- Hey.

50300:19:53,783 --> 00:19:55,366Can I talk to you for a second?

50400:19:55,418 --> 00:19:58,787

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Anything you haveto say to her,

50500:19:58,821 --> 00:19:59,853you can say to me.

50600:19:59,855 --> 00:20:00,904She never loved you.

50700:20:00,906 --> 00:20:02,656What? No, I--I got this.

50800:20:02,658 --> 00:20:03,857Okay.

50900:20:03,859 --> 00:20:05,024Okay. This is his fault.

51000:20:05,026 --> 00:20:06,507It is not your fault.

51100:20:06,534 --> 00:20:10,169I am gonna find yousomeone better, and rich.

51200:20:10,340 --> 00:20:12,065And Filipino.

51300:20:12,111 --> 00:20:15,430But we'll break thatto her later.

51400:20:16,082 --> 00:20:17,865You know whatthis is all about?

51500:20:17,923 --> 00:20:19,639Yeah.

51600:20:19,641 --> 00:20:20,707You too, huh?

51700:20:20,709 --> 00:20:24,210Yeah.

518

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00:20:24,212 --> 00:20:27,314Go on, spill it.

51900:20:27,316 --> 00:20:31,151Tell her all the gory details,you snake.

52000:20:31,153 --> 00:20:32,485Hey.

52100:20:32,487 --> 00:20:34,170He deserves this.

52200:20:34,172 --> 00:20:38,024And he said I couldget in on it too.

52300:20:38,026 --> 00:20:40,861Yeah.

52400:20:40,863 --> 00:20:43,613Oh, Pam, no.

52500:20:43,615 --> 00:20:45,498Oh, I can't bear to watch this.

52600:20:45,500 --> 00:20:47,667I don't know what I wasso worried about.

52700:20:47,669 --> 00:20:51,338I have the best wifein the world.

52800:20:51,340 --> 00:20:54,357I still can't believehe didn't tell me.

52900:21:02,380 --> 00:21:03,692

I was helpingNellie drive--

53000:21:03,722 --> 00:21:06,557Do not care.

53100:21:11,136 --> 00:21:13,437Fonas chek!

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53200:21:13,701 --> 00:21:15,739Dothras chek!

53300:21:19,212 --> 00:21:21,119I like that guy.

53400:21:21,198 --> 00:21:23,249We should hook him upwith Meredith.

53500:21:23,402 --> 00:21:24,317Hmm--

53600:21:28,737 --> 00:21:33,250Sync and corrections by n17t01www.addic7ed.comResync for WEB-DL by Norther