J A M E S M A C D O N A L D

Walk in the Word is the Bible-teaching ministry of Dr. James MacDonald. James’ teaching emphasizes the precise exposition of God’s Word and its practical life application. James is the founding senior pastor at Harvest Bible Chapel. He and his wife Kathy have three grown children. Learn how to grow in faith and please God with your life through Walk in the Word’s daily broadcast available all the time at JamesMacDonald.org.

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Nothing is Different Until You Think Differently

Why does Bill lose his temper and yell at his wife? Why does she respond by having a second and third glass of wine every night to dull her pain? Why is their daughter so deeply involved in sinful and shameful behavior that never delivers what she is looking for?

The reason is the way they think.

Beyond behaviors and deeper than attitudes, thinking determines outcome more than anything else. If you repeatedly find yourself in places where you don’t want to go, it’s your thinking that’s leading you there. God offers your only hope for victory over disposition, dysfunction, double-mindedness, and every mental stronghold. With Him, you can think differently.

MORE CLEAR TEACHING FROM GOD’S WORD AT WALKINTHEWORD.ORG

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© 2016 by James MacDonald.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission in writing from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Scripture quotations are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

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ADDITIONAL NOTES

WHY IS IT SO HARD TO THINK DIFFERENTLY? .................................. 6

DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS IN YOUR DISPOSITION ................. 16

DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION PT. 1 ...... 26

DESTROYING THE STRONGHOLDS OF FAMILY DYSFUNCTION PT. 2 ...... 38

ENDING DOUBLE-MINDEDNESS ................................................. 48

STRONGHOLDS OF MY OWN MAKING .......................................... 58

WHEN STRONGHOLDS START TO CRUMBLE ................................... 68

REPENTANCE BREAKS STRONGHOLDS ......................................... 78

WHEN YOU FAIL TO THINK DIFFERENTLY—DO THIS. ......................... 90

HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND PT. 1 ........................................... 100

HOW TO RENEW YOUR MIND PT. 2 ........................................... 110

................................................................. 120

C O N T E N T S

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C H A P T E R 1

Why Is It So

Hard To Think

Differently?

I am excited about what you’re about to read—not just

because of how the Lord has already used these prin-

ciples and insights in my own life, but because of how

I believe He’s going to use them in yours.

Proverbs 23:7 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is

he.” The principle this verse declares is that thinking

determines outcome. As a result, I’ve been wrestling

with this thought . . .

What is the thing that has to change at a deeper level if behavior is going to change?

Maybe you’ve wondered the same thing. Maybe that’s

why you’re reading this book. Whether you’re reading this

out of a thirst for change, a forced assignment, or simply

for encouragement, I believe what follows will open a

deeper relationship with the Lord, greater victory, more

consistent joy, and the experience of God showing you

from His Word that real change means thinking differently.

So let’s go over some examples . . .

• Linda is hypercritical.

• Lance is lazy and lethargic. He changes jobs like most

people change their socks.

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• Lisa is an overeater.

• Lyle is an overachiever.

• Larry is complaining every minute his eyes are open.

• Lou is losing to sexual temptation.

• Lauren is leaving her loved ones in the lurch again.

Now, putting aside the fact that all of those names start

with an L, focus with me on “why.” Why do Linda, Lance,

and the rest behave the way they do? Are they right? Of

course not, but telling them “this is wrong; this is right”

isn’t going to fix the problem.

No one is ever going to really change without heart

change, as we see in Proverbs:

“As a man thinks in his heart, so is he” (Proverbs 23:7).

Thinking determines outcome.

At this point you might be wondering, “Well, if thinking

is the lasting change, why aren’t more people changing?”

Here’s why—because it is terrifically difficult to change

the way you think. Seriously, it is!

In 2 Corinthians 10, the Apostle Paul gives us four im-

portant reasons why this is the case. The first is . . .

â

1. OUR BATTLES ARE NOT PRIMARILY PHYSICAL.

2 Corinthians 10:3 says, “For though we walk in the

flesh . . .” The word flesh (sarx in the Greek) sometimes

means your old, sinful nature. But in this instance, flesh

just means your body or physical reality.

Do you understand that you are not only physical? In

fact, the most important part of you is not the physical;

the most important part of you is the mind, emotions,

and will, which make up your soul.

It’s vital for you to understand that there is a part of

you that will live somewhere forever—either with God

or separated from Him, based on what you do with His

Son, Jesus Christ. And that part is your soul. But that’s

also where your mind is.

And your mind—not your brain—is what Paul is working on

here. So when Paul says, “For though we walk in the flesh,”

what he means is, “We live our lives in a physical reality.”

But even though everything around us seems physical,

Paul is warning us not to be confused. We are not pri-

marily fighting a physical battle.

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“For though we walk in the flesh, we are not waging war

according to the flesh” (2 Corinthians 10:3).

The real battles we fight are not physical battles; they’re

mental, thinking wars against forces not in the flesh. So

what are our weapons for a fight like this? That ques-

tion leads us to the second reason thinking differently

is hard . . .

2. OUR WEAPONS ARE NOT READILY ACCESSIBLE.

2 Corinthians 10:4 says, “For the weapons of our warfare

(warfare means our strategy for the campaign) are not

of the flesh . . .”

When our first thought in battle is to reach for weapons of our flesh, the war is already lost.

About six or seven years ago, I was going through a

tough few months, even struggling to preach. So I went

and talked to a Christian friend who counsels people.

What I’m about to tell you changed my life. I said to

him, “Well, I did this and this happened! But then I did

this and THIS happened. NOW look where I am. What

is going to CHANGE this? How can this be DIFFERENT?

I never INTENDED for this to happen!”

I laid it out for him, ugly and all. And he said, “Well,

James, this is where your best thinking has gotten you.”

Wow! That is an awesome insight. You see, most people

aren’t working on trying to get worse; they’re working

on trying to get better. But if that’s not happening in

your life like you know it could be, embrace this reality:

You are where—

I’m not in a hurry to say it because I don’t want it to land

too heavily on your heart. I don’t want to hurt you. But

sometimes love is gently saying what’s true.

You are where your best thinking has gotten you.

So how can we change our thinking? That’s what we’re

going to discover in the following pages.

Because here’s the truth: Walled off in our minds, you

and I have ways of thinking that are keeping us from the

life God wants us to live. They are fortresses; strong-

holds. Which leads us to the third reason changing our

thinking is hard.

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3. STRONGHOLDS ARE NOT EASILY DESTROYABLE.

“For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but

have divine power to destroy strongholds”

(2 Corinthians 10:4).

The word picture here is of a wrecking ball swinging

into a tower. Some translations even say demolish. Why

such a violent image? Because strongholds aren’t easy

to destroy.

If they were, trust me, everyone would be doing it. Most

people, Christian or not, sail the ship of life as far it can

go until their strongholds cripple the ship. And there

they stay for the rest of their lives.

And while there are a few people in their teens, twenties,

or thirties who may change their thinking a little, most

have their mindset so deeply entrenched by the time

they get into their second decade of adulthood that they

don’t go anywhere after that.

They might change jobs, churches, or even marriages.

But they don’t change their thinking. And they’re shocked

to find when they come around the corner—the exact

same stuff is happening in the new scenery.

Why? Because a lot more is affected by our thinking

than we’re ever willing to acknowledge. Here’s what

I’m trying to tell you:

When we oppose God’s work—even in our thinking—we

are opposing God Himself.

Notice in 2 Corinthians 10:5 Paul says, “. . . and take every

thought captive to obey Christ . . .” That’s the language

of “we took prisoners.” Every thought that doesn’t go

with the knowledge of God must be taken prisoner and

taken off the battlefield of our minds. That is something

ONLY YOU can do.

This is why Paul goes on to say, “being ready to punish

every disobedience, when your obedience is complete”

(10:6). Do you see it there? You have to do your part

before anyone else can do their part. Nobody can change

your thinking for you. Which leads us to the fourth and

final reason changing the way we think is so difficult . . .

4. I HAVE TO MAKE IT PERSONAL.The mind is powerful. I don’t think we even begin to

understand its impact.

For example, it won’t surprise you that I can eat really

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fast. And because I have a tendency to eat fast often, I

get hiccups a lot. And because I get hiccups a lot, I’ve

learned about a lot of different remedies through the

years to try and cure them . . .

• Get someone to scare you

(but that doesn’t work very well)

• Hold your breath

• Drink something upside down

I’ve tried them all. One time I had hiccups so bad that

the chair was rocking and it wasn’t even a rocking chair!

One time my wife Kathy, whom I love so dearly, came to

me while I was hiccupping and said in a way that only

she could, “You’re calm. Let it go. You don’t have the

hiccups anymore.” And guess what—I didn’t!

Those who study the mind would tell you that the reason

this worked is that my mind believed something that

thereby affected my behavior. But the fact is, there are

many remedies out there in the world today for a multitude

of different things, and some swear by the effectiveness

of each one. Why? Because they work for them. They’re

convinced in their minds that the remedy works.

Listen friend, we have a remedy—a truth for changing

our thinking—that is far more powerful than any cure

for hiccups. We have the holy, all-powerful, unchanging

truth of the Word of God!

In what ways have you noticed your think-

ing affect your decisions and everyday life? Does some

of it need to change? List some areas that come to mind.

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Have you made this personal? Thinking

differently will only happen if you—and only you—make

the necessary steps to change.

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QUESTION 1 :

QUESTION 2:

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Destroying The Strongholds

In Your Disposition

Over the next few chapters we’re going to talk about the

different types of strongholds—ways of thinking resistant

to change. First we’ll consider strongholds in our dispo-

sition. Let’s look at Genesis 25:19–22.

“These are the generations of Isaac, Abraham’s son: Abra-

ham fathered Isaac, and Isaac was forty years old when

he took Rebekah, the daughter of Bethuel the Aramean of

Paddan-aram, the sister of Laban the Aramean, to be his

wife. And Isaac prayed to the Lord for his wife, because she

was barren. (Then look at this.) And the Lord granted his

prayer, and Rebekah his wife conceived. The children . . .”

Children? So already we can see that she’s not going to

have just one son or daughter; she’s going to have twins

at the least. We don’t know how many yet, but there are

several—two at least. “The children struggled together

within her . . .” (25:22).

Notice the word struggled. The Hebrew word here is r ·sus.

Normally it’s used to mean crushing, or oppressing. This

implies that the children were warring inside her which,

needless to say, is not typical baby movement. And here’s

what I want you to get from this . . .

Everyone is born with a disposition.

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Your disposition is something God gives you. He intends

your disposition for good, but because of our sinfulness,

our disposition gets bent. God’s Word portrays over and

over that life begins at conception, and babies in their

mothers’ wombs not only already have dispositions, but

also plans marked out for them by Almighty God. They

already have God’s favor and purpose upon their life. So

let’s look at a definition to find out what a disposition

really is.

Disposition is your natural mental outlook;

your predominant tendency or leaning;

your prevailing point of view.

Disposition affects every relationship and every decision.

It’s the filter installed on your thinking through which you

process reality. It’s the reason four people on a street

corner can all watch the same accident and have different

opinions about it.

And because of this, every stronghold and argument you

have is affected by your disposition. What you call best

and right is actually your filter, and it can become your

stronghold. So if we’re going to think differently, we have

to examine our dispositions.

Now, I want to prove through Genesis 25 that these two

baby boys Rebekah gave birth to both were born with

something special.

In verses 24–26, Rebekah goes to the Lord after He tells

her about the two nations within her: “When her days

to give birth were completed, behold, there were twins in

her womb. The first came out red, all his body like a hairy

cloak, so they called his name Esau. Afterward his brother

came out with his hand holding Esau’s heel . . .”

Why? Because he wanted to be born first. The name Jacob

means heel catcher or heel grabber. It’s the idea of wanting

to find a way, even if it involves deception. Jacob can also

mean to get ahead of the other.

Don’t you see how their dispositions are already right

there? God’s Word is not saying, “Oh! How interesting!

How random! He was holding on to his heel. Isn’t that

funny?” No. That’s not what the Bible is saying at all. It’s

revealing that what they will become is present in the

womb and in their delivery. It’s already there.

Now just take a moment and ask yourself, “Are there certain

dispositions in me?” Can you see that you were born with a

way of thinking that you have battled your whole life? Can

you see how easily you slip into the thought, “This isn’t A way;

this is THE way.” “This isn’t a GOOD way; this is the RIGHT way.”

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How you process what happens in your home, kids, mar-

riage, finances, work, church—it all goes through the filter

in your mind. That’s where the strongholds, arguments, and

lofty opinions begin to take up residence: in our dispositions.

In Genesis 25:27 we learn more about Jacob and Esau.

Notice that Scripture says, “When the boys grew up, Esau

was a skillful hunter, a man of the field, while Jacob was

a quiet man, dwelling in tents.”

Could they be any more different? Esau’s disposition led

him to always be outdoors. Jacob’s led him to want to

stay inside. Both of those things are okay and what the

Lord wanted, but the devil always tries to distort what

God intends for good.

Genesis 25:29–32 explains, “Once when Jacob was cooking

stew, Esau came in from the field, and he was exhausted.

And Esau said to Jacob, ‘Let me eat some of that red stew,

for I am exhausted!’ (Therefore his name was called Edom.)

Jacob said, “Sell me your birthright now.” (Whoa! That

guy was shrewd.) Esau said, ‘I am about to die; of what

use is a birthright to me?’”

The Book of Hebrews tells us that Esau was a profane and

godless person. Regarding the birthright, he should have

responded, “Are you crazy? Give my entire inheritance—a

double portion—as the firstborn, to you? Never!”

But Jacob resented the fact that his brother got a double

portion. Esau was born only a few seconds earlier and

Jacob couldn’t let it go. So he took matters into his own

hands and jumped at the chance to trade some stew to

get the birthright and blessing that his profane brother

didn’t respect. These two brothers’ many strongholds

influenced what they were passionate about. Notice

Esau’s low impulse control. “I just want the meal. I don’t

care. I’ll deal with tomorrow, tomorrow.”

We then read verse 33, “Jacob said, ‘Swear to me now.’ So

he swore to him and sold his birthright to Jacob. Then Jacob

gave Esau bread and lentil stew, and he ate and drank and

rose and went his way. Thus Esau despised his birthright.”

The goal of thinking differently is to take every thought

captive to the obedience of Christ, and destroy strong-

holds, so I want to talk to you about dispositions and help

you locate yours.

There are four main temperaments:

1. SANGUINE – This person has a tendency to be late

and is a people pleaser, but is also expressive and fun.

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2. CHOLERIC – “I need it NOW. People, come HELP me.”

That’s the choleric. They want to win and can make

great leaders, but also have a tendency to be demanding.

3. PHLEGMATIC – They can be hard to get engaged but

once they do, they’re some of the most faithful, diligent

people around.

4. MELANCHOLY – The melancholy is analytical and

feels a lot, but can also tend toward negativity.

Each person has a primary and a secondary disposition.

For example, I’m sanguine/choleric. I end up being more

choleric at church because of my responsibilities, and

that’s one of the big tensions in my life, because by dis-

position I’m sanguine.

But listen:

You cannot change your disposition.

Nor does God want you to change it.

You are perfectly suited for what God wants you to do.

Take a moment and let this truth settle in your heart.

Instead of entrenching our arguments and lofty opinions

against those with different dispositions, our goal every

day has to be taking our thoughts captive to the obedience

of Christ. That’s the key to discovering and destroying the

strongholds of disposition.

Which dispositions are you? What’s your

primary and secondary? Ask others to help you figure

this out.

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QUESTION 1 :

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Have you noticed a bent in your thinking

since you were a child? Has that bent been positive or

negative? What stories can you remember that reveal

your dispositions?

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QUESTION 2: __________________________________________________

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We’re now going to consider generational sin. Deuter-

onomy 24:16 shows us how God is expanding our under-

standing of the law when He says, “Fathers shall not be

put to death because of their children, nor shall children

be put to death because of their fathers. Each one shall be

put to death for his own sin.”

He is teaching us that no matter what your kids do, God

will not punish you for your kids’ actions. So man, no mat-

ter what your dad did, God is not going to punish you for

it. Woman, no matter what your children do or become,

God will not punish you for it. Furthermore, God will not

punish you for what your parents did to you, either.

Isn’t that good news? Now, back to Deuteronomy 5:

6–9, where God is laying out the law. He has called all

the people of Israel together, and He speaks to them

through Moses:

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of

Egypt, out of the house of slavery. You shall have no other

gods before me. You shall not make for yourself a carved

image . . . You shall not bow down to them or serve them;

for I the Lord your God am a jealous God . . .”

First of all, understand that God’s jealousy is not sinful.

He doesn’t want something that doesn’t belong to Him;

Destroying The Strongholds

Of Family Dysfunction Pt. 1

3

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He wants what’s His—our hearts. So when He says, “I am

jealous,” it’s a very holy thing.

“. . . for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the

iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth

generation of those who hate me” (Deuteronomy 5:9).

So now you may be wondering, “Well, which IS it, James?

Is the son punished for the father or isn’t he? We have two

verses—one that’s saying, ‘He visits the iniquity of the

fathers upon the sons to the third and fourth generation . . .’

And then a second one in the same book of the Bible that

says, ‘He doesn’t punish us for our father’s sin . . .’”

“So which is it?”

It’s both! You see, there are no consequences (that’s key)

for generational sin, but there are inclinations. Because of

how your father or mother or grandfather or grandmother

struggled—because of sin in your family’s past—you have

inclinations. You have temptations, susceptibilities, and

vulnerabilities which you have to recognize.

If you and I are going to think differently, we have to

do some reflecting on questions like, “What did my dad

struggle with?” “What did my mom struggle with?”, “What

about my grandparents?” “How were their lives shaped?”

Even though your ancestors may not have known the

Lord, their struggles will affect your life.

But now the good news! 1 John 4:4 says, “. . . for he who is

in you is greater than he who is in the world.” God’s power

is more than enough for this. But if we’re going to think

differently, then we have to become aware.

“You know, my mom really battled depression. And in my

life I’ve found . . .” Exactly! You just noticed a pattern of

thinking in your mom that you have discovered in yourself.

If you’re ready for some more good news, read this. Be-

cause in Deuteronomy 5:9–10, you’ll see God’s grace

“. . . visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to

the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but

showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love me

and keep my commandments.” Isn’t that good news!?

So, maybe you’re in a place where you want to follow and

honor God, and break off the chains of generational sin

in your family. You’re saying, “I want to do everything I can

to make sure that I get victory over generational sin, so my

kids don’t struggle with the things I struggled with, and so,

when I’m off of this earth, my grandkids won’t be battling

the same things themselves.”

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What are those strongholds? Well, they’re a type of

generational sin I like to call crutches:

1. SUBSTANCE ABUSE This means turning to medication to numb one’s ability to

feel pain. But because substance abuse blocks pain, it blocks

the very God-given thing that gets us to a better place.

2. MATERIALISM If you grew up with “My stuff! My stuff! My stuff!”, mate-

rialism could be a stronghold in your life. As I often say,

it’s not wrong to have things, but if those things have you,

that’s a stronghold.

3. GLUTTONY Maybe you grew up in a home where everything revolved

around eating, or food was used to provide comfort. So you

ate, ate, and ate. You see, even food can be a stronghold.

4. LUST That’s a clear category.

5. SELFISHNESS This is a mindset that says, “We just do what’s best for

us.” That’s a stronghold. And no one’s life is better for it.

So, are you in favor of thinking differently? I hope your

answer is yes. Always remember, God has not given you

a spirit of fear. “For God gave us a spirit not of fear but

of power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). He

wants you living free, but to be able to do that, strongholds

have to be broken.

Yet, it can be hard because we all want to do what comes

naturally when it comes to taking them down. But here’s

the truth . . .

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to tearing down

strongholds. Doing what feels right isn’t always right.

A few years ago I preached a sermon called Always Re-

solve Everything Now. I wouldn’t preach that series again.

Not because I don’t believe that anymore, but because I

now see those sermons as a reflection of my disposition.

Yes, we should resolve everything as quickly as we can.

But some things can’t be resolved, and resolution isn’t

always best.

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You see, the highest law is love and I would now say Al-

ways Resolve Everything Now As Much As You Can Without

Violating the Law of Love. But because that’s too long of a

title, I’ll have to work something else out. But do you get it?

What I’m trying to make clear is that there is no “one size

fits all.” You and I can walk with God today. We can trust

God for the wisdom to think differently and do what the

situation warrants that represents His heart to love and

to advance His purposes for reconciliation.

Now, you might be saying to yourself,“Well, my problem

isn’t the generational stuff. I just don’t see that at all. And my

problem isn’t conflict resolution. My problem is that my family

just didn’t ever really WORK well. My home? I mean . . . we

didn’t ever get the bills paid. It seemed like there were job

changes all the time. We kept moving, moving, and moving.

Our family just could never seem to get traction out of the

mud of life. We never even got OUT on the main road. It was

just one problem after another.”

Friend, that’s a stronghold. That is a stronghold of bad

decision-making.

So if you’ve discovered some generational strongholds

that need to be broken, I want to pray for you.

Father, thank You for this precious child. Thank You, God,

for their humility and teachability. And now they’re coming

before You with open hearts, saying,

“O God, please destroy these strongholds in my life!

I fall into them. I slip and stumble toward them.

They’re just where I seem to end up, God. But I believe

You have something better for me, something higher

for me, my family, and the generations to come.

I ask that You would break these strongholds; that

You would tear down these ways of thinking; that

You would make me alert to when I’m headed in

the wrong direction. Help me stop and remember,

‘That’s not who I am. That’s not what is true. That is

not what I believe is right. I’m not going there again.

I want something different. And with You helping

me, God, I’m choosing to have it.’”

Help us to take every thought captive.

Help us to destroy the lofty opinions that make us think we

deserve our strongholds.

Help us to destroy the arguments and reasons we have for

justifying what we do.

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Thank You that we have a Savior who is alive, risen from the

dead, and moving in our midst by His Spirit. Thank You that

He is greater than he who is in the world. Thank You that

we can know Your victory, power, and strength because You

are alive, and because You live to make intercession for us.

We pray this in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.

Have you discovered any crutches in your

life? List them, remembering God wants to set you free!

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QUESTION 1 :

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Have you thought about what your par-

ents and grandparents struggled with? If possible, it

might be good to have a talk with them and discover

the inclinations you may have today as a result of what

they dealt with growing up.

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QUESTION 2:

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Destroying The Strongholds Of Family Dysfunction Pt. 2

C H A P T E R 4 I pray that the Lord has been speaking to you and that

with every page you’re reading, another stronghold is

being torn down by the power of Jesus Christ.

Deuteronomy 24 taught us that God doesn’t punish any-

one for their parents’ or grandparents’ sins. But He also

says in Deuteronomy 5:9, “. . . for I the Lord your God am

a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the

children to the third and fourth generation of those who

hate me, but showing steadfast love to thousands of those

who love me and keep my commandments.”

Here’s the good news I want you know from that verse . . .

These generational chains can break.Patterns of thinking can change.

I don’t know what was going on in your home growing up.

Maybe there were some raised voices or deadly silences.

Maybe things got broken, or there was inappropriate

physical contact.

I’d like to look at five other areas of generational sin that

can contribute to generational strongholds.

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1. “I HAVE, THEREFORE I AM.”In some families, the parents purchase, polish, and parade

what they have so much that their kids grow up thinking

that happiness is stuff.

2. “I COUNT PENNIES, THEREFORE I’M SAFE.”

It isn’t always the person who’s spending a lot that has

the stronghold. Sometimes it’s just the opposite. I knew a

guy a few years ago who, every year, said, “This year my

wife and I are living on ten percent less than last year.”

Really? Well, that’s awesome if you need to do that.

I don’t know if he actually did or didn’t, but by the time he

had done it six, seven, or eight years in a row, I wanted to

say, “Can we talk to your wife to see how this is going?”

And then there are people with similar mindsets who say,

“We don’t spend ANYTHING. I bought this coat in 1981

and it’s as good as the day I bought it!”

No, it isn’t, and that’s a bit freaky! You see, the “haves”

can be smug and polished, parading their stuff. But the

“have-nots” can still be consumed with the money-mat-

ters-most strongholds.

3. “I COVET, THEREFORE I RESENT.”Exodus 20:17 says, “Thou shalt not covet,” yet we do. And

we see what people have, and we think we have to have

it. That’s a stronghold and can have a terrible impact on

the way we interact with people.

4. “I’M CONTENT, THEREFORE I’M SUPERIOR.”

Again the opposite, “We don’t need anything.” I think I’ve

said plenty about that twisted self-sufficiency.

5. “I COMPARE, THEREFORE I BORROW.”

Some people compare and then they think, “We have to

catch up.” So they spend money they don’t have in order

to get what they don’t need.

To pull all of this together, I’m going back to the strong-

holds in our disposition to look at how they relate to

generational sin.

Remember cholerics? They tend to practice discordant

thinking. They see conflict as a barrier to getting things

done. If you’re a choleric, you may have a lot of conflict in

your life, and you might not even know it’s there. Choler-

- 42 - - 43 -

ics are oppositional, defiant, and don’t have any problem

standing up to anybody about anything.

The sanguine is very different from the choleric, though

they are both extroverts. Sanguines are impulsive thinkers

who can be fun, playful, and enjoyable, but their moods

turn fast. So they are a little more intermittently explosive

and have weaker self-control.

The phlegmatic is neither discordant nor impulsive, but

anxious. While we all have to get victory over worry, the

phlegmatic person is battling anxiety to a higher degree.

Lastly, melancholy individuals have depressive thinking.

They have highs and lows, and can even battle dysthymia,

which is intermittent or major depression.

Now, I want you to keep in mind your primary and sec-

ondary dispositions. I’m sanguine/choleric. My wife is

choleric/phlegmatic. The phlegmatic never wants to

admit they’re anything—so if you don’t know what you

are, you’re probably phlegmatic. But in the center of it all

goes the word sin. All problems in your life, your family,

and the world are the result of sin.

So let’s talk about how sin manifests itself in each dis-

position. Keep in mind 2 Corinthians 10:4–5: “For the

weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine

power to destroy strongholds. We destroy arguments and

every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God,

and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

At the center are strongholds, arguments, and lofty opin-

ions, so let’s locate those things quickly in each of the

temperaments.

The choleric’s stronghold is anger. He’s willful and quick

to argue, “I won’t.” If you’re a choleric, you feel adrena-

line when anger goes out which makes you think you’re

fixing something, when in reality, you’re probably making

it worse.

Now, this is where it gets important. 2 Corinthians 10:5

declares, “We destroy arguments and every lofty opin-

ion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every

thought captive to obey Christ.”

What fortifies a stronghold is bad theology—a wrong

belief about God. The choleric justifies the stronghold

of anger with the argument, “I won’t”—and they’re lofty

opinion is, “God is not just. I have to take care of this.”

But if you struggle with those thoughts, you are wrong.

God loves you, and you can wait on Him. He’s not going

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to let you down. So the thinking for the choleric has to

be changed to humility. And that doesn’t mean simply

acting humble. The truly humble person is not thinking

about themselves at all; they’re thinking about others.

The sanguine’s stronghold is foolishness. While the choleric

says, “I won’t,” the sanguine says, “I want.” A sanguine’s

bad theology is that God is not sufficient and not enough.

“I need more, God, and I can’t be happy until . . .” What the

sanguine desperately needs is the wisdom of God’s Word.

The phlegmatic’s stronghold is not the choleric’s anger or

the sanguine’s foolishness, but fear. Instead of “I won’t”

or “I want,” the phlegmatic is saying, “I can’t.” That’s the

internal self-talk for them.

The phlegmatic’s bad theology is that God is not sover-

eign or in control. Just as the choleric needs humility and

the sanguine needs wisdom, the phlegmatic needs trust.

Lastly, the melancholy’s thought process is, “I doubt.”

As a result, despair is the stronghold and God is not good

is the bad theology characterizing this personality type.

But here’s the truth. The Bible says again and again that

the Lord is good, and that His steadfast love endures

forever. If you allow yourself to believe the lie that God is

not good, that can become a stronghold so quickly, and

what you desperately need is hope.

Will you think about how these brief sketches apply to

your life? May God guide us as we continue on this journey

to think differently.

Do you know the wrong theologies and

arguments you have against God? If not, take some

time to pray about them. God will show you the areas

of thinking that need to change.

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QUESTION 1 :

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Have you struggled with strongholds of

selfishishness or deception? Do any specific memories

come to mind relating to these strongholds creating

significant problems?

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QUESTION 2:

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C H A P T E R 5

Ending

Double-

Mindedness

In this chapter, we’re going to start discussing how to

really change the way we think. It starts with getting rid

of double-mindedness. James 1:8 says, “A double-minded

man is unstable in all his ways.”

Double-mindedness always wants two things that

can’t coexist.

• I want a good marriage AND I want to be selfish.

• I want my private addiction AND I want a growing

relationship with God.

• I want my impulsive purchase at the mall AND I want

to steward my finances.

• I want my anger AND I want deep relationships.

• I want my fear AND I want peace.

You see, all of those statements are examples of dou-

ble-mindedness. So let’s focus on a couple of applications

from James 1:8.

Notice first of all that there are double-minded people

and they are everywhere. We’re not off-topic here. There

is double-mindedness in all of us. We want two things

that can’t coexist—so we have to start thinking differently

about them.

Notice also that double-mindedness creates instability

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and, most significantly, it affects EVERYTHING. Maybe

you’re thinking, “Well, I might make a bad financial decision,

but I would NEVER do anything to hurt my family.” But truth-

fully, you actually are, and we can all fall into that trap.

I don’t know where you are today reading this. I don’t

know your story and the hardships you may have suf-

fered in your past. But I am appealing to you because I

care about you.

If you would, pray right now, “God, show me an area of

double-mindedness in my life, and help me eliminate it.”

I KNOW that if you’ll do that, you’ll be happier for it and

God will bless you.

Just remember, you have to want to think differently. I

can’t do that for you. If I could make you want to think

differently, I’d do it in a heartbeat! But in the end, you’re

the one choosing how to think about everything going

on in your life.

Someone once said (and I keep repeating this) life is ten

percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you

choose to deal with it or think about it. So truly, nothing

is different without thinking differently. You have to want

it and hope for it.

Understand, when you’ve lost hope, you’ve lost everything.

There is nothing after “no hope.”

Here’s a definition of the word hope . . .

The confident expectation of something better tomorrow.

That’s why we’re Christians—because Christians know that,

no matter how many peaks and valleys we go through in our

lives, we’re headed toward a massive, forever celebration.

The world sees only a hopeless end, but we have an

endless hope. Not just hope regarding eternity, but also

about God meeting needs, answering prayer, carrying

burdens, relieving you and me of sin, changing our lives,

and daily increasing our joy on the journey to that eternity.

But here’s the harsh reality—Christians can lose hope.

That’s why thinking differently is crucial. Because when

you stop hoping for something better and different, it is

definitely not coming.

So why do people stop hoping? Here are three reasons

why it can happen:

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1. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT IS A HASSLE TO HOPE.

You get up in the morning. You get into God’s Word. You

spend some time in prayer. You get your focus for the day.

You walk into your school, work, or whatever you do, and

you’re super positive. You’re fired up and trusting God

because you have your focus. Then someone shows up

and says, “What’s wrong with you?”

You have some hope, and then they just suck the hope

right out of you. Have you ever experienced that? Just

when you get yourself in a place of faith and trusting God,

somebody comes along and goes right after it. You see,

it can be a hassle to hope.

2. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT IS HARD.

Hope isn’t the default position. Would you agree with

that? You have to work on hope, and it can be hard. No-

body has to work at being negative, and hopelessness

can just show up, right? So you have to work at hope. You

have to discipline your mind and if you’re not careful, for

example in regards to people, you can lose hope in them

and get critical. The Bible says in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope

deferred makes the heart sick.”

What I’m trying to show you is that when you give up

hope, you give up so much. Hope is protecting God’s

best future for you.

3. WE STOP HOPING BECAUSE IT HURTS TO HOPE.

This is the biggest reason. When I hope, I make myself

vulnerable to being disappointed. When I hope, I expose

my heart to people letting me down. Inevitably that hap-

pens, and it hurts.

Some of you are hoping or were hoping for God to do

something in one of your kids, for example, but you hav-

en’t seen it. Now you’re not praying anymore, and you’ve

hardened your heart.

Why did you give up? Because it can hurt to hope, wait,

and pray. But can you see that it hurts even more not to?

Can you see the bad that results when you don’t even

care anymore, or when you’re not asking or seeking or

knocking or praying? Do you see that’s worse?

So let’s bring it full circle. To think differently, you have

to want to, or rather, hope to. But you also have to take

action that reinforces that desire. You can say forever

that you want to think differently. But to actually change

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the way you think takes action.

Are you willing to take some action physically in order to display the

change in yourself spiritually?

Some of the hardest, most courageous decisions are the

ones involving taking the action necessary to get to a

place where you can think differently. Jesus Himself said,

“Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell

you?” (Luke 6:46). You not only need to want and hope

to think differently, but you also need to do something

in order to make it happen.

Let’s start with first things first.

Have you made the decision to follow Jesus Christ?

Do you believe that Jesus Christ is God’s Son?

Do you believe that He died to pay the penalty for

your sin?

If you do believe that, you have to take action about it.

But perhaps you’ve been hanging around the edge. You’ve

been on-and-off, in-and-out—not really a devoted follower

of Jesus. The best thing you could do right now, wherever

you may be reading this, is to end that double-mindedness

and give your life to Jesus.

If that’s you, you don’t have to wait another second. Just

go to Him right now and tell Him, “God, I’m here to make

myself right with You. I’m going to follow You.”

Romans 10:9 says, “If you confess with your mouth that

Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him

from the dead, you will be saved.”

There’s no reason to put this off. Your double-mindedness

has been making you unstable in everything, but today

you can take that first step towards thinking differently.

You can revive your hope, refresh your spirit, and become

a new creation in Christ.

Trust Him as Savior and confess Him publically as Lord

just as He commanded.

And if you have already done that, then I want to encour-

age you to prayerfully seek God about areas in your life

where you’ve been double-minded. He’s there, waiting

for you, longing to help you think differently and show

you the areas of your life where He wants to do a work.

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What are two things you want right now

that can’t coexist? Trust me, nothing good comes from

double-mindedness!

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QUESTION 1 : Have you believed and confessed Jesus

Christ as Lord? It’s the most important decision of your

life and the catalyst to thinking differently.

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QUESTION 2:

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Strongholds of My Own

Making

C H A P T E R 6

We’ve explored some pretty broad categories. There

are the strongholds in our disposition, having to do with

the way we’re bent. Then there are strongholds from the

home we grew up in—generational sin.

Wouldn’t it be easy if we could blame our strongholds in

our disposition on God or our parents? But we’ve been

building to this truth, and I hope you’re ready to hear it:

Strongholds get built through our own behavior.

That’s reality. Regardless of your bent or where you were

born, it all comes down to this: “I am building or destroying

the strongholds in my life.”

The reason I belabor that is because there is immense

cultural emphasis on, Well, that’s just the way I am. You

have to know the home I grew up in.

And yet, the weight biblically is not on those things. Yes,

they’re real and they do affect us, but the driving force

behind the strongholds that trip us up and take us down

is our own behavior. You’re about to see that illustrated

in the life of Jacob.

He was born with a bent, and he certainly grew up in a

very dysfunctional family. But if life is ten percent what

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happens to you and ninety percent how you choose to

deal with it, Jacob used up most of his ninety percent! And

now, God is about to confront the strongholds in Jacob’s

life with the biblical principle of sowing and reaping.

Galatians 6:7 says, “For whatever one sows, that will he also

reap.” Throughout history, generations and civilizations

have observed this unalterable principle that God installed

into human behavior: Strongholds reveal themselves in

our lives as we begin to reap what we have sown.

Genesis 28:1 says, “Then Isaac called Jacob and blessed

him and directed him, ‘You must not take a wife from the

Canaanite women. Arise, go to Paddan-aram to the house

of Bethuel your mother’s father, and take as your wife from

there one of the daughters of Laban your mother’s brother.’”

In Genesis 29 Jacob leaves home to get a wife, and in

verse 4, he arrives at his destination and sees some men

by a well. He greets them, “‘My brothers, where do you

come from?’ They said, ‘We are from Haran.’ He said to

them, ‘Do you know Laban the son of Nahor?’ They said,

‘We know him.’ He said to them, ‘Is it well with him?’ They

said, ‘It is well; and see, Rachel his daughter is coming

with the sheep!’ . . . Now as soon as Jacob saw Rachel the

daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of

Laban his mother’s brother, Jacob came near and rolled

the stone (That was covering up the well) . . . Then Jacob

kissed Rachel and wept aloud” (29:4–6, 10–11).

Now, realize this isn’t a “Wow! I think I’m going to marry

you” kiss. This is a “Wow! I can’t believe I found my family”

kiss. So much so, that here comes her father in verses

13–14. “As soon as Laban heard the news about Jacob, his

sister’s son, he ran to meet him and embraced him and

kissed him and brought him to his house. Jacob told Laban

all these things, and Laban said to him, ‘Surely you are

my bone and my flesh!’ And he stayed with him a month.”

So now Jacob has been there for thirty days making eyes at

Laban’s youngest daughter, Rachel. And Laban’s not stupid,

so he says to Jacob in verses 15–17, “‘Because you are my

kinsman, should you therefore serve me for nothing? Tell me,

what shall your wages be?’ (Which was a pretty clever way

of saying, “You need to start working.”) Now Laban had two

daughters. The name of the older was Leah, and the name of

the younger was Rachel. Leah’s eyes were weak . . .”

It’s important to note here that when the Bible wants to

say something, it frequently will say it carefully. I don’t

even know if they had glasses back then, but they’re

saying a lot more about Leah here than the fact that she

didn’t have the best eyesight.

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In verses 17–20 we read, “Leah’s eyes were weak, but

Rachel was beautiful in form and appearance. Jacob loved

Rachel. And he said, ‘I will serve you seven years for your

younger daughter Rachel.’ Laban said, ‘It is better that I

give her to you than that I should give her to any other man;

stay with me.’ So Jacob served seven years for Rachel, and

they seemed to him but a few days because of the love he

had for her.”

This is interesting because Jacob has never really worked

or waited for anything up until this point. Remember, this

is the same Jacob who tricked his dad, Isaac, into think-

ing he was Esau so that he could receive the firstborn’s

blessing. But finally later in life, he finds this woman to

work for. And he is not cutting corners. He is not cheating,

lying, or deceiving but is doing it all the right way.

Now, watch what happens after the seven years. “Then

Jacob said to Laban, ‘Give me my wife that I may go in to

her, for my time is completed.’ So Laban gathered together

all the people of the place and made a feast. But in the eve-

ning he took his daughter Leah and brought her to Jacob,

and he went in to her” (29:21–23).

That’s the kind of stuff when you read about it in the Bible,

you think to yourself, That could NOT have happened. But let

me ask you a question. Does God ever allow improbable

things to happen to advance His purposes?

Yes, He does, and I believe that God wanted Jacob to

experience what Esau and others had experienced at the

hands of his lying and deceiving. Jacob reaped what he

had sown all his life.

Genesis 29:25 says, “And in the morning, behold (Can

you even imagine?), it was Leah! And Jacob said to Laban,

‘What is this you have done to me? Did I not serve with you

for Rachel? Why then have you deceived me?’”

And right in that second—“Why then have you deceived

me?”—Jacob realized, It’s happened. I am reaping what I

have sown. I am feeling what I have made others feel. The

stronghold was revealed.

So Laban goes on to explain and makes a deal with Jacob

that if he’ll work another seven years, he’ll give Rachel

to him the next week. So Jacob agreed. But what’s in-

teresting is that Jacob doesn’t say another word. And I

believe the reason for that is because Jacob is crushed

with the realization, like Hosea says, “Sow the wind, reap

the whirlwind” (Hosea 8:7). It all came back upon Jacob.

And now, I want to ask you, how will you rise up and

break the chains, the strongholds, for the next generation?

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Because here’s the truth . . .

Strongholds blow up through our own decisions.

This is an immense opportunity to see God’s transforming

power released in YOUR life. Remember . . .

Nothing is different until we think differently.

Discovering your strongholds is the first step to destroying

them, and though it’s hard, it begins the journey that leads

to freedom. Because here’s the harsh reality if you don’t:

Strongholds can grow up in the behavior of your loved ones.

Let’s go back to Jacob years later. At this point in his sto-

ry, he’s packing up to get out of town with his wives and

family under cover of night. Why? Because he had been

lying and trying to deceive Laban, and now he’s running

away before Laban can get back at him. But notice in

Genesis 31:19, “Rachel stole her father’s household gods.”

So from this verse we can see that Laban’s family were

pagans. And how much spiritual impact is Jacob having

on his wife that she is willing to leave with him, yet wants

to take her father’s gods with her? Apparently, not much.

When Laban realizes what’s happened, we read, “And

Laban overtook Jacob,” (31:25) and he’s looking for these

idols. Laban searches everywhere throughout the camp

and finally goes into his daughter’s tent. Rachel is sitting

on the idols, and Laban tells her to get up. “And she said to

her father, ‘Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before

you, for the way of women is upon me.’ So he searched but

did not find the household gods” (31:35).

Rachel was born to a liar. Rachel was married to a liar.

And what does she become? A liar. Do you see how the

strongholds spread? Know this . . .

If nothing else scares us into destroying the strongholds in

our lives, seeing them in our loved ones should.

If we don’t make the hard decisions to think differently,

that story—in so many hurtful and destructive ways—is

going to be our kids’ and grandkids’ stories.

But the strongholds have now been detected. And in this

next chapter, we’re going to start destroying them!

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Are there any strongholds in your life that

you have noticed in your loved ones? Listen, it’s never

too late for you to change—nor is it too late for you to

help those around you change for God’s glory.

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QUESTION 1 : QUESTION 2: In what ways has your behavior built the

strongholds you’ve discovered in your life?

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7

When Strongholds

Start To Crumble

So now you might be thinking to yourself, Man! When will

I start actually destroying these strongholds? Well, we’re

about to, and the reason it’s taken this long is because

I wanted you to have a very clear sense of the specific

strongholds you are battling.

Let’s go to Genesis 32:1–3 where something very signifi-

cant happens in the life of Jacob and changes everything:

“Jacob went on his way, and the angels of God met him.

And when Jacob saw them he said, ‘This is God’s camp!’

So he called the name of that place Mahanaim. And Jacob

sent messengers before him to Esau his brother in the land

of Seir, the country of Edom . . . ”

Jacob is going back home, to the land that God had prom-

ised to him, and he is about to run into his brother from

whom he had stolen the birthright and firstborn blessing.

Two decades or more have passed, and he knows this

isn’t going to be easy.

“And Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau his brother

in the land of Seir, the country of Edom, instructing them,

‘Thus you shall say to my lord Esau: Thus says your servant

Jacob, “I have sojourned with Laban and stayed until now.

I have oxen, donkeys, flocks, male servants, and female

servants. I have sent to tell my lord, in order that I may

find favor in your sight”’” (32:3–5).

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In other words, Jacob’s doing it again. He doesn’t humble

himself; he doesn’t say, “I’m sorry.” He doesn’t send back

some kind of payment for what he stole. He just says, “I’m

rich and I’m coming back.”

Genesis 32:6 says, “And the messengers returned to Jacob,

saying, ‘We came to your brother Esau, and he is coming

to meet you, and there are four hundred men with him.’”

How does that sound—like good news or bad news?

Definitely bad news! Verses 7–8: “Then Jacob was greatly

afraid and distressed. (So watch what he does here due

to the strongholds in his thinking.) He divided the people

who were with him, and the flocks and herds and camels,

into two camps, thinking, ‘If Esau comes to the one camp

and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape.’”

Are those acceptable or unacceptable casualties? Those

are completely unacceptable! I mean, this is unbelievable,

right? But then here comes his prayer . . .

“And Jacob said, ‘O God of my father Abraham and God

of my father Isaac, O Lord who said to me, “Return to your

country and to your kindred, that I may do you good,” (this

is probably the best part of the prayer) I am not worthy

of the least of all the deeds of steadfast love and all the

faithfulness that you have shown to your servant, for with

only my staff I crossed this Jordan, and now I have become

two camps. Please deliver me from the hand of my brother,

from the hand of Esau, for I fear him, that he may come

and attack me, the mothers with the children. But you said,

“I will surely do you good (Jacob is reminding God of His

promises in how He would multiply him), and make your

offspring as the sand of the sea, which cannot be numbered

for multitude”’” (32:9–12).

“So he stayed there that night, and from what he had with

him he took a present for his brother Esau (Jacob is about

to make a deal), two hundred female goats and twenty

male goats (remember that this is their currency), two

hundred ewes and twenty rams, thirty milking camels

and their calves, forty cows and ten bulls, twenty female

donkeys and ten male donkeys. These he handed over to

his servants, every drove by itself . . . (Jacob divides his

servants into these groups called droves and says to

them) ‘Pass on ahead of me and put a space between drove

and drove.’ He instructed the first, ‘When Esau my brother

meets you . . .’” (32:13–17).

So here comes Esau with four hundred men. And here

come these little separated caravans of servants and gifts

with Jacob. He’s thinking that Esau wants to rip him apart,

so he’s going to give him gift after gift. Genesis 32:20–21:

“For he thought, (Do you see it’s just his thinking?) ‘I may

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appease him with the present that goes ahead of me, and

afterward I shall see his face. Perhaps he will accept me.’

So the present passed on ahead of him, and he himself

stayed that night in the camp.”

Are strongholds there? Yes. Nothing’s changed yet in

Jacob. But it’s all about to. “The same night he arose and

took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven

children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. He took them

and sent them across the stream, and everything else that

he had” (32:22–23).

So Jacob sends them all across the river, and “Jacob was

left alone” (32:24). This is key, because God is about to

confront him. Note that God doesn’t often confront us

until we are by ourselves.

So let me ask you . . .

When was the last time you spent some time alone with God and felt the weight of all that He is?

A month ago? Maybe a year ago? I can’t stress enough

the importance of getting alone with God. Trust me, I

understand it can be hard, but when you make time for

Him, demands cease, distractions end, quiet invades,

reflection starts, and the Almighty God Himself speaks.

Sometimes we don’t get alone with God because we

sense that He is going to say something that we don’t

want to hear.

But friend, that is completely a lie from the enemy. Every

word that God speaks gives life, encourages, and births

hope within our hearts, even when it’s corrective. Don’t

avoid Him. Run to Him. He’s waiting with open arms.

Now getting back to the passage, in verse 24 we read,

“And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him

until the breaking of the day.” Now, this is not just any

man. The word man here is translated in the Hebrew to

the word ish [pronounced eesh], which could also be

translated, warrior.

“. . . a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.

When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob,

(You’re about to read the first indication of who this man

is.) he touched his hip socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out

of joint as he wrestled with him” (32:24–25).

First of all, the hip socket is one of the strongest joints in

the body. You couldn’t just fall and accidentally get your

hip socket out of joint. It takes two very strong opposing

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forces—like the force generated by a car accident. And it is

one of the most painful injuries that a person can experience.

And now here is the warrior. I’m going to show you that

this man is actually God Himself. “He touched his hip

socket, and Jacob’s hip was put out of joint as he wrestled

with him. Then he said, ‘Let me go, for the day has broken.’”

Some Bible scholars believe that, because no one has

seen God at any time, the fact that this “man” left before

light came is an indication of who it is. And then in verse

26, Jacob says, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

That’s the prerogative of deity. You don’t ask just anyone,

“Hey! Will you bless me?” So that’s an interesting thing to

say if it was just a man. “And he said to him, ‘What is your

name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your name shall

no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven

with God’” (32:27–28).

Who was he wrestling? Who confronted him? It was

God! Jesus Christ, the Second Person of the Trinity. And

it’s amazing because even though they wrestled through

the night, you can still see the gentleness of God. I mean,

why doesn’t He just pin Jacob down and tap him out? It’s

because He’s gentle.

I’m so thankful that we serve a God who’s never in a hurry

and whose love for us is patient, gentle, and kind.

Now, in this Scripture, we read how the Man (Jesus) asked

Jacob for his name. Do you think the Lord already knew

his name? Of course He did! So why’s He asking him? To

understand this, you have to first understand that naming

kids back then was not the same as it is now.

The way it was in Bible times was that you either got a

name that was positive because your parents hoped and

prayed that you would become that. Or you got a name

that was negative because, above all things, that was the

stronghold they wanted you to avoid.

Jacob means cheater, liar, and sketchy-dealmaker guy. So

the Lord asks Jacob as he’s on the ground in pain, “‘What

is your name?’ And he said, ‘Jacob.’ Then he said, ‘Your

name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel (This is

awesome.), for you have striven with God and with men,

and have prevailed.’ Then Jacob asked him, ‘Please tell me

your name.’ But he said, ‘Why is it that you ask my name?’

And there he blessed him” (32:27–29).

Do you see the grace? “So Jacob called the name of the

place Peniel (the face of God), saying, ‘For I have seen God

face to face, and yet my life has been delivered” (32:30).

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Everything is changing here. Jacob is never going to be

the same. “The sun rose upon him as he passed Penuel,

limping because of his hip” (32:31). Once he was Jacob,

but now he is Israel with a permanent reminder of the

miracle God performed in his life.

So what are you going to do? I want to challenge you to take

some time and wrestle with God about the strongholds in

your life. I’m challenging you to stop letting your strong-

holds define you. I’m challenging you to yield to God, let

Him prevail, and be marked for the rest of your life by Him.

Because when you allow God’s victory to take hold in

your life, it becomes your victory just like that wrestling

match became Jacob’s.

When was the last time you spent signif-

icant alone time with God? What needs to change for

this to increase?

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QUESTION 1 :

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Have you ever been afraid of what God

might say when you open yourself up to Him? Listen, if

so, that’s a stronghold of fear and a lie from the enemy

that must be destroyed.

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QUESTION 2:

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Repentance Breaks Strongholds

C H A P T E R 8 You might be wondering to yourself now, Okay, I see what

God does, but what exactly am I supposed to do? The answer

to that question is in the phrase, “I repent.”

In the New Testament, the Greek word for repentance is

actually metanoia. And the word actually means a change

of mind. It’s the word most frequently used in both the

Old and New Testaments for thinking differently.

This is the most concentrated teaching in all of God’s

Word on the subject of repentance. And let me say right

now that the goal of this teaching is that you would re-

pent. But everything I’m going to challenge you to do, I

have done. Everything I’m going to call upon you to do

and respond to, I have as well.

Be assured, I don’t believe in practicing what you preach.

I believe in preaching what you practice. And I want you

to join me at this awesome place of repentance, a place

that I have come to believe is not one we simply visit, but

a place where we live.

In 2 Corinthians 7:8–11 Paul says, “For even if I made you

grieve with my letter, I do not regret it—though I did regret

it, for I see that that letter grieved you, though only for

a while. As it is, I rejoice, not because you were grieved,

but because you were grieved into repenting. For you felt

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a godly grief, so that you suffered no loss through us. For

godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation

without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

For see what earnestness this godly grief has produced

in you, but also what eagerness to clear yourselves, what

indignation, what fear, what longing, what zeal, what

punishment! At every point you have proved yourselves

innocent in the matter.”

That’s what repentance does—it brings cleansing. And

God’s heart is that we would be tenderhearted, easily

submissive, and quickly responsive to the workings of

His Spirit.

Repentance is truly a gift from God. The most dangerous

thing a follower of Jesus can say is, “I’ll repent when I’m

ready because I’m not finished with this sin yet.” Do you

have any idea how hazardous that is? Only God can bring

you to a place of repentance, and I’m going to biblically

substantiate that claim.

2 Timothy 2:25 says, “. . . correcting his opponents with gen-

tleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to

a knowledge of the truth . . .” Do you see it? You can harden

your heart, expecting to soften it with the flip of a switch

when you’re “ready,” but according to Genesis 6:3, “Then

the Lord said, ‘My Spirit shall not abide in man forever . . .’”

Listen; this is serious. It’s possible to come to a place

where God’s not even trying to do that in your life any-

more. You can’t just put off repentance. If you’ve never

given your life to Jesus Christ, turn from your sin this

moment and embrace Christ by faith for your forgiveness

and receive the free gift of eternal life. But if you have

made that decision, Hebrews 10:26–29 says this:

“For if we go on sinning deliberately after receiving the

knowledge of the truth, there no longer remains a sacrifice

for sins, but a fearful expectation of judgment, and a fury

of fire that will consume the adversaries. Anyone who

has set aside the law of Moses dies without mercy on the

evidence of two or three witnesses. (That’s the way it was

in the Old Testament.) How much worse punishment, do

you think, will be deserved by the one who has trampled

underfoot the Son of God, and has profaned the blood of

the covenant by which he was sanctified, and has outraged

the Spirit of grace?”

Judgment has to begin at the house of God. We are people

who are supposed to be prolific in our repentance. I don’t

want to rebuke you. I don’t want to hurt your heart, but listen

to what He says about this matter of the church in Revelation

2:5, “Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent,

and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and

remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent.”

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Those are words straight from the mouth of our Savior. He

also says in Revelation 3:19, “Those whom I love, I reprove

and discipline, so be zealous and repent.” Zealous is the

idea of put your energy into it; put your passion into getting

to a fresh, deeper, vibrant place with the Lord.

Right now, you may be someone who has known Jesus

for thirty or forty years. But is this how you’re going to

finish? Just kind of going through the motions, limping

into heaven?

I don’t want that. I want to listen better, think higher, love

more, and give God easier access to every area of my life

as my days grow fewer and fewer.

Let me give you a definition of repentance:

A recognition of sin

followed by heartfelt sorrow

culminating in a change of behavior.

And here are the fruits of this kind of thinking differently:

1. GRIEF OVER SIN.2 Corinthians 7:9–10 says, “For you felt a godly grief, so

that you suffered no loss through us. For godly grief pro-

duces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret,

whereas worldly grief produces death.”

That word grief, lupeo, is used twenty-six times in the New

Testament, and half of those usages are in 2 Corinthians.

This word grief literally means soul anguish. It’s what the

disciples felt when Jesus announced His crucifixion in

Matthew 17:23.

Now, what does worldly grief produces death mean? Do you

see that phrase at the end of verse 10? It doesn’t mean

physical death, or there would be no distinction between

worldly grief and godly grief. Paul’s not talking about

the first death, which is physical; he’s talking about the

second death—the lake of fire. Paul is talking about hell.

And a lifetime of shallow worldly repentance leads to hell.

That’s a lifetime of, “Sorry, God. Whoops! I did it again. I

just always do it.”

Listen to 2 Corinthians 3:18: “And we all, with unveiled

face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed

into the same image from one degree of glory to another.”

I always say, “Not perfectly, but increasingly we are be-

coming conformed to the image of Jesus.”

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2. REPULSION TOWARD SIN. 2 Corinthians 7:11 says, “For see what earnestness . . .”

Earnestness means haste; hurry; diligence.

Do you remember that show that used to be on television

called Fear Factor? I had to stop watching it because they

would always have some crazy thing at the end of the

show. They did all these cool competitions, but then at

the end they had to eat five gopher eyes or something.

It would just sicken me, and then I thought, I can’t un-see

that. So I just never watched it again.

That’s exactly what repentance is like. But of course in all sin

there’s deception. And because Satan is an angel of light, he

makes things glitter and glow, but repentance is detecting

the rationalizations that allowed you to see something as

attractive that is actually ultimately and eternally ugly.

3. RESTITUTION TOWARD OTHERS.Right here in the text in 2 Corinthians 7:11, Paul says,

“. . . what punishment!” The New American Standard

version translates punishment as avenging of wrong.

When true repentance happens, we are immediately

concerned with the people we have hurt. Now, we don’t

burden people with our confession. You don’t go to your

wife and say, “Let me just tell you what I’ve been doing,”

then go on and tell her every detail. Love covers.

4. REVIVAL TOWARD GOD.That’s what is meant by 2 Corinthians 7:11: “. . . what fear,

what longing, what zeal . . .” Repentance stokes a fired-

up relationship with God. Mercy is showered upon you,

grace is received, forgiveness is experienced, and new

disciplines are established.

5. MOVING FORWARD WITHOUT LOOKING BACK.

Repentance is moving forward and not looking back. No-

tice in 2 Corinthians 7:9, “. . . you suffered no loss through

us.” It’s sorrow without regret and looking forward to the

years that remain.

A.W. Tozer said, “Let us beware of vain and over-hasty repen-

tance, and particularly let us beware of no repentance at all.”

Hell will be filled with people who prayed a prayer but

never really repented of their sin. There has to be a turning

from something before there is a believing in something

else. Today, you can turn.

Get alone, let God confront you, and repent. Don’t wallow

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in generalities. Let the Spirit of God prick your heart about

something specific. Confess it and forsake it.

In describing the prodigal son’s return home, Luke 15:20–

24 says, “But while he was still a long way off, his father

saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him

and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have

sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer

worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his

servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him,

and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring

the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate.

For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost,

and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.”

Loved one, that is the heart of our Father God! Don’t re-

sist, rebel, or refuse His grace in your stubbornness. Let

God shower you with His mercy in the beautiful place of

repentance and start thinking differently.

When have you dwelt in the awesome

place of repentance? Remember, it’s not something

you do once and then you’re done with it. It’s a gift from

God Himself that draws us closer to Him and helps us

to think differently.

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QUESTION 1 :

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Where do you want to be 5, 10, 30 years

from now? Do you want to be struggling then with the

same things you are now? What steps do you need to

take to make change happen?

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QUESTION 2:

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C H A P T E R 9

When You

Fail To Think

Differently—

Do This.

So, we’ve found our strongholds—those fortified places

and stubborn patterns of thinking that are resistant to

God’s Word and God’s will. Then we let God confront

us, and we’ve repented.

That’s the crisis of thinking differently, but it’s followed

very quickly with the process, which brings with it the

realization that this is a very tough thing.

When you’ve been thinking a certain way—not for weeks

or for months, but for years and decades—it can be easy

to fall back into old patterns. So know this . . .

Broken strongholds will battle to be rebuilt.

Yes, they are torn down through repentance, but a daily

decision still has to be made to think differently. I have

to own it and “take every thought captive to obey Christ”

(2 Corinthians 10:5).

Simply letting God confront you and then repenting isn’t

the end. That’s the crisis, but now comes the process. In

fact, loved one, also note:

When you fail in the process of thinking differently, you

must return to the crisis of stronghold repentance.

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I can’t say it any clearer than that. This could happen

frequently—maybe even several times a day. Where the

trouble really comes is not how often you fall at first, but

how long you stay down and justify it.

Let’s say you’ve had a bitter heart toward someone. God’s

confronted you, you’ve repented of your bitterness and

un-forgiveness, and you’ve chosen to forgive the person.

And a day later, you’re mad again, thinking about them the

way you did before. In that exact moment, don’t accept

those old arguments. Don’t accept the lofty opinions that

are exalting themselves against the knowledge of God.

Take every thought captive to obey Christ and say, “I’m

not that person anymore. I’m not going to think that way.”

Listen, we’ve all fallen back. I certainly have, and in Gen-

esis 33, Jacob does too. When you fall back, do this . . .

Remove stronghold supports from your life.

There are things you have established and placed around

your stronghold that help you continue to think the wrong

way. That scaffolding has to be torn down, too.

In Genesis 35, here comes God. Isn’t He awesome? God

is relentless in His pursuit of us. He loves us so deeply

that He would rather see us anywhere than living in the

grip of a stronghold. And He shows us that with Jacob.

Genesis 35:1: “God said to Jacob, ‘Arise, go up to Bethel and

dwell there. Make an altar there to the God who appeared

to you when you fled from your brother Esau.’ So Jacob said

to his household and to all who were with him (here it is:),

‘Put away the foreign gods that are among you and purify

yourselves and change your garments.’”

Then in Genesis 35:4, “So they gave to Jacob all the for-

eign gods that they had, and the rings that were in their

ears. Jacob hid them under the terebinth tree that was

near Shechem.”

So if you fall back, here are three questions that need to

be answered:

1. WHERE DID I GO WRONG?2. WHAT TRIPPED ME UP?3. WHAT NEEDS TO BE REMOVED?

Listen . . .

Whatever feeds your stronghold must be put

out of reach, or you won’t think differently.

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At the end of the day, the battle is over what you believe

about God. Ever since Satan attacked Eve’s view of God

in the Garden of Eden, wrong views of God have always

led to wrong thinking, which leads to wrong behavior.

You can’t change your behavior if you don’t change your

thinking. And you won’t change your thinking if you don’t

change your thinking about God. Romans 12:2 says, “. . . be

transformed by the renewal of your mind . . .” by the Word

of God. You have to step into the life that He has purchased

for you, His child, through the sacrifice of His own Son,

Jesus Christ.

I was a senior in high school when I committed my life to

Christ. I was serving the Lord in a student ministry. I was

seeking the Lord on a regular basis for the first time in my

life. I was falling in love with Kathy, with dreams of where

I wanted to go with my life, but I kept falling backwards.

But one day, I went to this youth rally where Tom Maharis

spoke. There were about two hundred kids there, and

he preached on the impact that evil music can make in

your life.

I don’t want to get you drifting off into a bunch of bands

that I could name, but I’ll just say that what I was lis-

tening to was evil. And I’m not just talking about sexual

music—though it was that—it was more than that. And

I would listen to it all for hours every day.

Tom Maharis preached on this. He said that anyone who

was ready to make a commitment that included a change

of music choices should stand. And I was the only kid

who stood.

I didn’t meet Maharis until fifteen years later. He said,

“I wondered why I even went there. Just one kid made

a decision.” But I was that kid—and it changed my life. I

went home and took all the music and posters I had and

got rid of them. So much so that by the time my kids were

in high school, I wouldn’t even listen to a secular song.

It’s not an issue of any kind in my life now. And I praise

God for that. But it took some radical obedience from

me. I didn’t judge others who didn’t need to make the

same decision, but I did need to because of what I was

struggling with.

Now, I’m not telling you this so you’ll do what I did; I’m

telling you this so that you’ll ask yourself, What is that

stronghold in my life?

It may seem like a silly story in some ways now, but if

you’re stuck in a place where you’re tough in your heart,

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and your flesh seems stronger than your spirit, then you’re

struggling with strongholds instead of living in victory.

You’re falling back. So . . .

Raise reminders to actually think differently.

Take out the strongholds and destroy anything that was

supporting them. And then put things in your life that will

remind you to think differently. You could put something

on the dashboard of your car. You could post something by

your fridge. You could put something on your nightstand.

But once you have raised that sacred reminder, review

your identity and your calling in the Lord.

Watch what happens in Genesis 35:9–10: “God appeared

to Jacob again, when he came from Paddan-aram, and

blessed him. And God said to him, ’Your name is Jacob;

no longer shall your name be called Jacob, but Israel shall

be your name.’”

Wait, didn’t that just happen? Yes it had, but God is so

gracious that He will always come back when our own

thinking slips, in order to remind us of what is true. And

when God moves toward you, two things have to happen . . .

Your view of God has to change, and your view of

yourself has to change.

Jacob fell back, and God’s coming right at him, but first

Jacob is going to have to see God differently—and he

does. Then God comes right at his identity. Jacob means

deceiver, and do you remember what Israel means? It

means you wrestled with God and won.

Right theology and right identity. For decades maybe

you have fought, arguing with God, or lying to get your

way. And God took you down and laid you out. Well, like

Jacob, you have to change your view of God and change

your view of yourself.

You are not a liar anymore. You have a new name. It’s

time to think differently.

What stronghold supports do you need

to remove from your life? How do you plan to do that?

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QUESTION 1 :

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What reminders do you need to raise to

help you think differently?

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QUESTION 2:

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What is your view of God and yourself?

How might either need to change?

Be sure to align your heart and mind with the truths of

God’s Word.

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QUESTION 3:

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How To Renew Your Mind Pt. 1

C H A P T E R 1 0

Everything we’ve learned and studied has led us to dis-

covering how to renew your mind. Thinking differently

means a continually renewed mind.

But first I want to confess something to you. I was very

excited to get into Jacob’s life and study it. I feel like I’ve

learned a ton about Jacob, and I hope you have too. But

I have to say that I am super disappointed in Jacob.

Abraham, his grandfather, was a flawed man, to be sure.

He wasn’t perfect, but he learned, and you could see

evidence of him changing.

Moses had struggles. He barely got any traction until he

was eighty years old. But he finished in some amazing

ways. And even though there were consequences for him

at the end, he had changed.

Now I don’t know how you feel, but I’ve spent my life

studying these Bible characters, and they feel like friends

to me. Even when I study David—he had a massive blow-

out, committing adultery then murder to cover it up—but

he learned, he repented, and God got hold of his heart.

There were consequences for his sin, but he experienced

better days in his future.

But to be honest, I’m not sure if Jacob ever really got it.

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I have scoured these chapters in Genesis trying to find

the “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back” part.

And I just have to say that I trust the Lord in everything,

but Jacob’s life is a warning that bad patterns of thinking

can stay with you until death.

Jacob could have engaged a lot more deeply in God’s

transforming power, but he didn’t. The bad thinking is

there until the end, which leads to me to this strong

conclusion . . .

Sin not removed and pain not resolved will always plague your

intentions to think differently.

I wish I could be with you personally right now and say

this to you. But if you have sin in your life that you haven’t

removed, and if you have pain in your life that you hav-

en’t resolved, it will always plague your best intentions

to think differently.

Let’s start with “Sin not removed.” What do I mean by that?

I mean the sexual sin, lying, and deceiving that was going

on in Jacob’s life that he didn’t do anything about. Let’s

learn how to remove it.

Please realize that this whole “thinking differently” thing

is a huge waste of time if you don’t remove sin in your

life. Otherwise, you’re going to be just like Jacob. There

are three things you must do in order to keep this from

happening . . .

1. RELENT!2. REPENT!3. REMOVE!

That’s it.

1. RELENT: “YOU’RE RIGHT, GOD.”2. REPENT: “I’M WRONG, GOD.”3. REMOVE: TAKE THE SOURCE OF SIN

TO THE STREET.

Romans 13:14 says, “Make no provision for the flesh.”

You have to get serious about victory instead of sourcing

your sin.

I want to show you another story from Genesis to illustrate

this truth scripturally. In Genesis 4, we see the results

of the Fall as we read about Adam and Eve’s children,

Cain and Abel. They’re offering sacrifices to God, but

Cain’s offering is rejected. Yet his brother’s offering gets

accepted, and Cain is angry about it.

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Then in Genesis 4:6, “The Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you

angry . . . ? If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if

you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door. Its desire

is for you, but you must rule over it.’” Cain chose not to

do well, and his stronghold led him to kill his brother.

That is true for you, me, and every other person in this

world. We have an enemy who wants strongholds pro-

tected and wants to take your life and my life down. This

is as real as real gets. You have to take radical action to

relent, repent, and remove. Know this . . .

Sin not removed will inevitably return and, with a

vengeance, it will ruin you.

Now, let’s go over some things we do instead of removing

sin that we think is removing sin. The first is setting sin

aside. We set it aside on a sunny day when we’re feeling

good, but we don’t radically remove it. And then when

the storm comes, we run right back to that sin.

The second is stuff it down. But trying to stuff sin down

is futile, unhealthy, and doesn’t last.

Then lastly, we seek a replacement. But when we replace

one addiction with another, it’s not removed; it’s simply

a scenery change and the sin is still there.

Listen, if your sin isn’t removed, and your pain isn’t re-

solved, you’re just an accident waiting to happen. I so

wish that wasn’t true, but here comes the good news.

What’s incredible about the story of Jacob is that while his

deficiencies are apparent and hardly ever seem to diminish

in his life, the immense constancy of God never waivers.

In every chapter and in every paragraph, God is there.

In spite of Jacob’s stubborn strongholds, God’s steadfast

love was constant.

So now, let’s go over how to resolve the pain. As I’ve

studied this, and thought and prayed about it, there are

three things I want to show you regarding pain:

1. NAME IT!When you come to a place where you really want to think

differently, call it something different.

• You don’t have to call it my cancer;

start calling it my every day counts.

• You don’t have to call it my betrayal;

start calling it my eyes were opened.

• You don’t have to call it my bankruptcy;

start calling it my new value system.

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• You don’t have to call it my divorce;

start calling it my new wisdom restart.

Name the grace that covers it and not the sin that caused it.

2. GRIEVE IT!You can’t leave it until you grieve it. I sound like one of

those catchy talker guys, but please don’t focus on the

rhyme. I’m not trying to crank you up in some moment

of inspiration. I’m trying to instruct you from the things

that I see in God’s Word.

3. LEAVE IT!Lastly, don’t stuff or try to hide sin, but leave it. The blood

of Jesus Christ covers all sin. So choose to live in no other

reality than the one your Father in heaven declares over

you. This is so important.

In 1990, a lifelong friend of mine and his wife visited

Kathy and me in Chicago while we were living in Arling-

ton Heights. They came to our house, and they brought a

couple with them. Interestingly, I had known the man in

the couple when I was a little boy, but I hadn’t seen this

in guy over thirty years. I didn’t know anything about his

wife or his story, but it became very apparent.

When he visited our home, he was far from God. I re-

member him sitting in my basement and pouring out his

story of grief, bitterness, and anger. He had left God and

was living in the world. His life and family were a mess.

Well, when I had been on staff at Arlington Free Church,

we had invited Larnelle Harris to come and sing. You may

not know who that is, but I played one of his songs in that

moment. Here are the lyrics . . .

In It After All

So You were in it after all

All of those moments I spent crying

When something inside of me was dying

I didn’t know that You heard me

Each time I called

You had a reason for those trials

It seems I grew stronger every mile

Now I know You were in it after all

I put that song on the stereo, and this guy wept like I’d

hardly ever seen a man weep. He was crushed by the

reality that in all of the pain and in all of the disappoint-

ment, God was there in the middle of it.

Right then he rededicated his life to the Lord. His wife

came to know Christ, and his kids gave their lives to Christ.

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He went to seminary and became a pastor! But then he

fell in love with another woman, going right back into the

world and losing it all.

You have to remove the sin.

You have to resolve the pain.

If you don’t, you’ll never think differently.

What sin have you not removed from

your life?

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What pain have you not resolved?

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Go back over the steps for each of those two questions

in this chapter and prayerfully seek God’s wisdom for

each of them.

QUESTION 2:

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11

How To Renew Your Mind Pt. 2

As we considered in the last chapter, in spite of all the

grace, time, and opportunities that were given him to

change, Jacob didn’t. And here’s the worst part: He always

thought that he was going to.

We finished up studying Jacob in Genesis 35. Genesis 36

is about Esau, and Genesis 37 begins the story of Joseph.

What Genesis 37:3 says about Jacob is interesting. Re-

member, his name got changed to Israel . . . “Now Israel

loved Joseph more than any other of his sons (That’s the

same problem his parents had. And now here’s Jacob,

struggling with the same stronghold.), because he was

the son of his old age. And he made him a robe of many

colors . . . (Then here’s the big problem in verse 11.) And

his brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the

saying in mind.”

His brothers go on to sell Joseph as a slave to Egypt, but

God still uses the dysfunction of this family, because

He’s in it all. And years later, Joseph gets elevated to be

the Number Two over all of Egypt under Pharaoh. It’s an

incredible story.

Now, this Pharaoh isn’t like the president in that there’s

no congress or Supreme Court to balance power. There

aren’t any elections. So you can imagine just how much

power Joseph had being the Number Two. He ended up

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saving the nation from famine, and ultimately his family

came to Egypt and he saved them, too.

So now you’re Jacob and you’re about to meet the Pharaoh,

who elevated your favorite son and saved your family.

What’s Jacob going to say? “Man! We’ve been waiting for

a chance to tell you, Sir, how appreciative we are that you

made our son the vice president of Egypt. Our family was

going to STARVE if it weren’t for you.”

But here’s what Jacob actually says in Genesis 47:7:

“Then Joseph brought in Jacob his father and stood him

before Pharaoh, and Jacob blessed Pharaoh. And Pharaoh

said to Jacob, ‘How many are the days of the years of your

life?’ And Jacob said to Pharaoh, ‘The days of the years of

my sojourning are 130 years. (Here is Jacob’s summary

of himself.) Few and evil have been the days of the years

of my life . . .’”

Few! In other words, not few because he’s one hundred

thirty years old. That’s not few! But what he means is that

they went by fast. “I thought there would be more time. I

thought I would make some progress in this thinking and living

differently. I just thought I would be farther along by now.

I didn’t think I would still be struggling with these things.”

Now just think about this for a minute. His summary

term for the entirety of his experience was not “hard”

or “mixed.” It was “evil.” I don’t want this to come out

harshly, but understand:

Think differently or live to regret it.

“What should have been, what could have been, and what

would have been if I had let God do what He wanted to in

my life?” As long as you’re pointing your finger at your

parents, your past, or your problems, you’re not going

to have a lot of regret, just resentment. But when the

boulder of reality lands on you, you recognize, like Jacob

finally had to, regret.

I did a quick fact-check. In Genesis 25:7, we see that

Abraham lived to be one hundred seventy-five. Isaac

lived to be one hundred eighty (35:28). Now, how old is

Jacob here? He’s one hundred thirty.

So if Jacob is going to live to be the average of his father

and his grandfather, he still has forty-seven and a half

years left. What’s interesting is that if you look at Gen-

esis 47:28, Jacob actually dies when he is one hundred

forty-seven years old.

So he thinks he has all these years left, but he just has

seventeen. Isn’t that the way it goes for a lot of people?

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I thought there was more time. I thought I would work on it

next year. I didn’t think I would end in regret. But Jacob did.

He ended up in a box with massive regrets.

Hebrews 11:21 says, “By faith Jacob, when dying, blessed

each of the sons of Joseph, bowing in worship over the head

of his staff.” Now, why does it say that? What a funny thing

to point out, right? At the end of Jacob’s life, he blessed

his kids, and he worshiped God. Some translations say

“leaning” on his staff. That is the last mention of Jacob

in the Bible. At the very end, he was leaning. Why is this

Scripture pointing that out?

I can’t say for sure, but I believe what they’re telling us

here is that Jacob was weak to the very end. Even though

Jacob loved God, prayed over his kids, and worshiped to

the last day, he didn’t let God have His way in his life . . .

Jacob always bore the scars of the strongholds he

stubbornly maintained.

And because I’ve been saying, “Nothing is different until

you think differently,” let me say something positive now

as we go to the New Testament: “Everything is different

when we think differently.” This is where you find relief

from the Lord that covers over every regret. And it starts

with renewing your mind.

Look at Ephesians 4:17–21: “Now this I say and testify in

the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do,

in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their un-

derstanding, alienated from the life of God because of the

ignorance that is in them, (notice the strongholds here) due

to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and

have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice

every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned

Christ!—assuming that you have heard about him . . . ”

Have you heard how awesome Jesus is? Have you heard

that God loves us and sent His Son? Have you heard

that He died as an atoning sacrifice for your sin so that

you can be completely forgiven to receive the free gift

of eternal life?

You can. That’s called the good news. That’s the gospel.

You don’t have to live under the weight of the conse-

quences of futile, darkened thinking; you can be set free

from all of that, and step into the glorious liberty of the

sons and daughters of Jesus through faith in Him.

“. . . and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put

off your old self (there is still that temptation, but we put

that off), which belongs to your former manner of life and

is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in

the spirit of your minds” (4:21–23).

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Thinking differently and renewing your mind are the same

thing. Romans 12:1–2 says, “I appeal to you therefore,

brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies

as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is

your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by

testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is

good and acceptable and perfect.”

So this brings us back to the question, “How do I renew

my mind?” The answer is in these three things you have to

do. When you fail in the process, you return to the crisis,

but here is the process of thinking differently:

1. PROTECT YOUR MIND.You have to protect your mind with the Word of God.

Matthew 4:1–11 is the story of the Temptation of Jesus.

Jesus was in the wilderness for forty days, fasting and

praying before His ministry. And just when Jesus is on the

way out (it’s always when we’re at our weakest, right?),

Satan confronts Him and lays it down. When Jesus is so

hungry and so thirsty, Satan confronts and tempts Him.

But with every temptation, Jesus replies, “It is written . . .”

followed by the Word of God. He is teaching us here how

to protect our minds, and it’s through God’s Word.

2. WASH YOUR MIND.In Ephesians 5, the subject is husbands and wives. Ephe-

sians 5:25–26 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ

loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might

sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water

with the word . . .”

Sanctify means to make holy. In salvation, Jesus declares

us to be holy. But in sanctification, He is making it so and

the Word does the washing.

You may have heard some things. You may have looked

at some things. You may have done some things and

have some regrets. But you can take the Word of God

and saturate and renew your mind with it.

I would not be writing this if it was not for the sustaining

power of the Word of God to right me, to reconcile me

with reality, and to renew my thinking.

Maybe the great sin of your life is not that temptation

or struggle as you see it. Maybe it’s your neglect of the

Word of God. It’s life to you, and you have to renew your

mind with it.

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3. SET YOUR MIND.Colossians 3:2 says, “Set your minds on things that are

above . . .” That’s what you do in the morning. When

you get up and you have a day in front of you with a

thousand decisions to make, and you’re feeling a ton of

pressure—set your mind. Get up. Get into God’s Word.

And set your mind.

Loved one, everything changes when you start thinking

differently. Renew your mind in God’s Word. Keep hoping,

and be sensitive to God’s promptings to change. Brighter

days are ahead as you think differently.

What have you set your mind on? Do you

need to make Scripture memorization a higher priority

in your life? I can’t overemphasize how important this

is to thinking differently and having a right view of God

and yourself.

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QUESTION 1 :

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Have you washed your mind with God’s

Word? Remember, it’s not a once-a-week practice, but

a daily blessing from God.

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QUESTION 2:

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additional

notes

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