No Cause for CelebrationS6 REMEDIATION

The Evaluation Question To what extent do you think that focusing on these young men provides an effective conclusion to the passage as a whole?

Refer closely to the ideas and language of these lines and to the line of thought in the passage as a whole (4)

The Evaluation Question To what extent do you think that focusing on these young men provides an effective conclusion to the passage as a whole?

Refer closely to

the ideas of these lines

the language of these lines

the line of thought in the passage as a whole (4)

The Evaluation Question To what extent do you think that focusing on these young men provides an effective conclusion to the passage as a whole?

What makes an effective conclusion?

The Evaluation Question To what extent do you think that focusing on these young men provides an effective conclusion to the passage as a whole?

What makes an effective conclusion?

1. Sums up the writer’s point of view / attitude

2. Rounds off the argument neatly

3. Uses language which is appropriate to her final attitude

The Evaluation Question What makes an effective conclusion?

1. Sums up the writer’s point of view / attitude:

Relate ideas in conclusion to the line of thought

Does the writer repeat ideas argued in the passage as a whole? Where / how?

Does the writer, possibly, introduce a new idea taking the argument a stage further? Where / how?

The Evaluation Question What makes an effective conclusion?

2. Rounds off the argument neatly

Look for relationship to the introduction / other parts of the passage

Does the writer return to an idea first (only?) mentioned in the introduction? Where / how?

Does the writer return to a key idea from elsewhere in the passage? Where / how?

The Evaluation Question What makes an effective conclusion?

3. Uses language which is appropriate to her final attitude

Look for key features of language and consider their effectiveness

Does the writer use a particularly strong tone – eg angry, resigned, flippant …? Where / how? Why??

Does the writer use a particular feature of language, eg an image, parallel sentences, rhetorical questions…? Where / how / why?

The Evaluation Question To what extent do you think that focusing on these young men provides an effective conclusion to the passage as a whole?

Refer closely to the ideas and language of these lines and to the line of thought in the passage as a whole (4)

The Evaluation Question Ideas / Line of thought

Returning to the young men in Greece, mentioned at the start, rounds off the passage neatly.

Earlier in the passage, she seems to have very little sympathy for the young men, but here, she seems to accept that there may be problems in society which contributed to their problems, such as the ready availability of alcohol in the airport and society’s acceptance of public drunkenness.

This creates a more fair and reasonable conclusion to her argument.

The Evaluation Question Language / Tone

The use of the word “pickle” to describe their problem continues the lighthearted, dismissive tone she takes towards them in phrases such as “poor dears” as if their problem isn’t very important.

The questions create a despairing tone which suggests that she can’t see a solution in the face of all of these problems which society’s “double standards” have created.

Analysing language “I really like your hair!”

“That was a fabulous essay!”

“It’s a gorgeous day outside”

“No, I’ve not been shopping”

“It was nothing”

How can you tell if the person speaking is being sarcastic or not??

Analysing language “Poor dears”

The writer thinks we should feel a lot of sympathy for the young men

OR

The writer feels we should feel no sympathy for the young men

How can you tell? Is it sarcastic or not??

Analysing language “Poor dears”

Calling young men “poor dears” appears to be sarcastic because it is a patronising phrase, more commonly applied to young vulnerable children and not big strong boys. It suggests that she thinks they are being treated with too much sympathy (appropriate to children)

Putting it in a minor sentence at the end of the paragraph makes it sound sneering and dismissive.

Analysing language “a bit boisterous” “an over-reaction”

These are the media’s descriptions of the men’s behaviour, and they make their behaviour sound harmless.

The writer puts these phrases in inverted commas.

She is casting doubt on these descriptions, suggesting she does not agree with them.

Analysing language *(Your heart bleeds for them.)

“One’s heart, however, fails suitably to bleed”

The tone of this statement is:

This is achieved by:

This helps us to understand her lack of sympathy because …