Newsletter | December 2018

A word from Renée Carter, CEO Welcome to our last edition of the My Forever Family NSW Members’ Newsletter for 2018. It’s been an eventful six months since we began in July 2018.

We’ve been fortunate in that we’ve been very active in mainstream media, highlighting the out of home care need not only in New South Wales, but across Australia. With your help, we’ve had over 250,000 people share and engage with our content on social media, and we’ve had over 600 enquiries – people seeking information on becoming foster carers.

For those of you that haven’t had the opportunity to sign up to our Member Rewards program, you can join today which will enable you to save money on everyday items such as groceries, fuel, movie tickets, and discounts at over 1000 store outlets in NSW alone. We have over 1000 members already!

My Forever Family NSW is always keen to hear from you. Please send through any stories, questions and/or feedback to our team anytime. Thank you for being part of My Forever Family NSW. I’d like to wish you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas and look forward to continuing to achieve fantastic outcomes together in 2019.

Renée Carter CEO, Adopt Change

* Adopt Change operates the My Forever Family NSW program.

DISCOUNTS FOR CARERS Registered foster and kinship carers, guardians and people who have adopted children from out-of-home care can be entitled to some great discounts when they shop!

If you sign up as a My Forever Family NSW member you will receive member benefits including discounts at major retailers – at over 1000 retailers across NSW.

Stores include Woolworths, Coles, Caltex, Kmart, Target, Hoyts Cinemas, Bunnings, JB Hi Fi, Priceline, and David Jones to name a few.

Benefits that come with carer membership include:• Free attendance at most My Forever Family and partner

events

• Discounts at supermarkets, on fuel, at cinemas, clothing stores and more retailers across NSW

• Access to advocacy, support and information for your role as a carer during business hours.

Members’ approved carer status will need to be verified before they can access loyalty rewards.

Discounts vary from 5% on groceries and fuel, to 10% on stationery and up to 37% on movie tickets.

This membership with My Forever Family NSW is open to carers from all agencies regardless of how long they have

been a carer, provided they are an authorised carer at the time of registration of the membership. mbers’ approved carer status will need to be verified before they can access loyalty rewards.

You can join the My Forever Family member community by visiting the Membership section on the website .

Join today!

MFF TRAINING CALENDAR 2019

Our Training Calendar for February to April 2019 is now up on our website. Have a look at what training is available in your area and book your place online.

Information about Carer Support Groups around NSW will now be located on a new page currently being developed on our website. If you are involved in a group that we are not aware of please contact us and we can add your contact information and meeting dates.

TELL US YOUR STORY!

Do you speak another language? Are you a city carer? Regional carer? Do you have a child in care or a sibling group?

We’d love to hear from you, whatever your story. Please tell us about your experience as a foster or kinship carer, guardian or adoptive parent.

We are looking for real stories from all types of people. Your story will inspire others to open their homes and their hearts to a child.

All stories will protect your identity and that of the child/children mentioned. Please send your story (up to 300 words) via email: evelyn.santoro@myforeverfamily.org.au

I have been fostering for 40 odd years. I do not number my children, they all have names, so how many children I would not know. Many of these kids still come and visit with their families and many are still a big part of our family.

They are all special, but our foster daughter Gina has been the stabiliser in our home to the many other children that pass through our doors. Her happy smile and her determination to live a normal life fills everyone that knows her with inspiration.

When Gina was placed into our care, we were told that she would not live past five years old and never walk because of her severe disabilities. That day we vowed that since we could not give her quantity of life, we would give her quality of life.

18 years later she is alive and well, and a real testament to what a network of caring people can accomplish.

Our FACS team worked endlessly beside us to ensure her needs were met. She had the right teachers, schools, recreation and services. Having the same caseworker for many years really helped, as he became a familiar part of her life, ensuring that she was included despite her disadvantages and I could always turn to him for support.

Belonging to a Support Group and going to regular training with other carers, was also so beneficial to our caring role.

Despite her disabilities, including cerebral palsy, epilepsy, renal failure and severe brain damage; Gina won gold in the Special Olympics 200m sprint, completed year 12, plays tennis, bowling, athletics and represents her school at state level for swimming.

Sharing our lives with Gina has enriched our lives so much. To know that we have given a child a chance at living and being successful in life has also improved our self-esteem.

Carer Case Study

THERAPY FEATURE - HEALING TRAUMA WITH HORSES! Equine-assisted therapy is a new and exciting development that engages children with horses within a clinical, therapeutic framework. There is no riding involved. Just being with and around horses is an empowering experience and encourages the child or young person to reach out and to connect with the world in new ways.

Why horses?

Horses have many characteristics which lend them to being effective agents of change, including honesty, awareness, and use of nonverbal communication. The role of the horse is to behave naturally and spontaneously, as they do in a herd situation. The horse’s natural state of being invites kids to engage in a safe and authentic connection, a space where change is possible.

Equine-assisted therapy for kids in care

Anyone who has experienced trauma in childhood when the brain is developing can be impacted in multiple ways - physically, emotionally and neurologically. In day-to-day life this can mean that people who have experienced trauma in childhood have difficulty self-regulating, both physiologically as well as emotionally.

To a parent or carer this can look like a child or young person having a lot of difficulty calming down if excited or angry, a significant lack of motivation, difficulty trusting or attaching to people, and ongoing fearfulness. Trauma can prevent children from fully engaging in the present moment and can limit their capacity to create and experience non-traumatic events, such as learning and connecting.

Equine-assisted therapy teaches kids to tune into, listen to, understand and respect their body and experiences. Learning acceptance of their feelings, experiences and patterns, learning self-compassion, understanding, and setting goals for their lives that break new ground and take them in a positive and life fulfilling direction are all important focuses of Equine Therapy.

Heads & Tails is a model of Equine Assisted Clinical Psychology offered in the Blue Mountains of NSW. Visit the following websites for more information:

https://www.headsandtailseacp.com.au

http://kidsandco.com.au

Family time – How carers and parents can support children

Helping children, tweens and teens in care spend positive time with their families is one of the most valuable things you can do for them.

Some of you may be managing or preparing to manage family time yourselves, while for others arrangements are made by case managers. Either way, as their primary carers you are the most important support a child can have. The My Forever Family Carer Support Team have put together some tips to help you with this sometimes challenging, but truly rewarding aspect of being a carer, a guardian or an adoptive parent.

Why do kids continue to see their families? Family time (referred to as ‘contact’ in the past) is an opportunity for children and young people to spend time with their parents, brothers and sisters and other extended family. Family time is how kids maintain their relationships and keep a strong sense of their own identity and culture as they grow up. It is also an opportunity for them to adapt to loss, to feel that they are still loved, and to help reduce their sense of abandonment.

Family time is just as important for children and young people who are in long-term care, who live with guardians, or who have been adopted, as it is for children who are in care for a short while.

Use your empathetic super-power Remember that it’s very common for kids to become anxious, and to express their feelings with challenging behaviour both before and after seeing birth family. It can be tough for them, but it is also a normal part of them working out how to be part of two families.

• Keep an open mind about the child’s family; and remember that they love their children.

• Always stay positive when discussing family and family time with the child or young person.

• Make an effort to connect with a child’s family when possible, by sharing updates and photos, and by being respectful and friendly at all times.

• When carers are directly involved in family time by taking the child or young person to the meeting place, or being present during the visit, it can help a them adjust to being in two families, and give family some peace of mind.

The needs of the children are the most important thing to keep in mind The goal is for children to experience positive time with their family, in a safe and nurturing way.

• If you can, consult with the child’s family, and with your case manager, about when it’s best to have family time. For example, holding family time just before school camp may not be a good idea for children who experience high levels of anxiety.

• Choose a location that the child is familiar with or you know that they’ll enjoy.

FAQs • If they are old enough ask them where they’d like to spend time with their family.

• Try and avoid a meeting place where you have a distance to travel, as it will be harder for kids to manage their emotions if they have a long drive.

Before family time, make sure that you help the child or young person to prepare. • Tell them beforehand where and when family time will

happen. (Some kids might like to know a long way in advance, while others might not cope with the waiting and it may be better to tell them closer to the day.)

• Be very positive about the visit and their family.

• Let them know who is going to be there, and what is likely to happen, including that afterwards they will be going home to you.

• Encourage the kids to talk about how they are feeling – it’s common for children and young people to feel a lot of anxiety and other big emotions before, and after, a visit with family.

• Give them items to show their family, such as drawings, photos or schoolwork.

• Take an activity for kids to do with their family. This can be a nice way for them to connect with one another.

Have plans for after family time • Develop a ritual to help kids transition, such as watching a

DVD together, cooking their favourite meal, or going for a walk. Some kids, especially teenagers, might want some time on their own to process their feelings.

• Make sure that children have access to their life-story books, photos and other things that remind them of their families.

• Be prepared that it may take some days for kids’ emotions to settle after seeing their family.

It’s not always possible for family time to take place in person. Telephone or Skype/Face Time calls, letters, photos, short video clips, email are other ways of staying in touch and keeping kids connected to their family and identity

Sometimes a child or young person might refuse to see their family. There are lots of reasons why this might happen from time-to-time as kids struggle with big feelings and go through stages of development.

• Give them lots of empathy and let them know that they can always change their mind.

• If they are able to tell you how they’re feeling, or why they don’t want to go, stay empathetic and just listen. It maybe that you will gain some insight and find a way of supporting them to go the next time.

• Suggest that they make a phone call or write a letter until they feel able to spend face-to-face time with their family again.

• Remember to let your case manager know, and to get their advice on how to support the child.

Our Carer Support Team is here for all NSW foster carers, guardians and parents who have adopted children from out-of-home care, so please contact us for support and advice.

MYTH BUSTER!Question:Does the new legislation require all children and young people, no matter what their permanency goal is, to commence restoration to their birth family?

Answer:Legislation has always required restoration be the priority. However, the new legislation requires an assessment of restoration and why it should, or should not, be considered at a given time. For example, if a child has been in care for years with a foster family, (when it is not possible for a child or young person to return home) the restoration focuses on providing the child or young person with connection and identity with their birth family, where possible.

“As an organiser for the Central Coast Foster Carers Support Group Christmas Gathering 2018, I would like to express our appreciation for the help provided by My Forever Family and Amalia, who organised to supply some My Forever Family NSW bags for us to fill with goodies for the children who attended as well as providing tea, coffee and biscuits for the Carers and Volunteers and mingle with the Carers.

We especially appreciated MFF providing a gift pack as a lucky door prize which was very welcomed by the lucky winner - who turned out to be the Carer Volunteer Santa’s wife.

Thanks, and Seasons Greetings to you all.”

Marion Feeney

SUPPORT OVER THE CHRISTMAS AND NEW YEAR PERIOD The Carer Support Team will be available to take calls regarding carer support only through our on-call phone service during the holiday break from Monday 24/12/2018 – Friday 04/01/2019, with the exception of public holidays. Call 1300 782 975.

For all training and recruitment enquiries please email us and our team will respond to your enquiry after the holiday break on Monday 07/01/2019.

SPREAD THE WORD IN YOUR COMMUNITY!

The My Forever Family NSW newsletter is produced by the Communications team.

Disclaimer: The information and advice provided in this document/website is general information. It may not apply to a particular case, and as such, must not be taken as legal advice.

Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm

CARER SUPPORT LINE 1300 782 975

CARER SUPPORT enquiries@myforeverfamily.org.au

myforeverfamily.org.au

As an act of kindness this Christmas, help us spread the word – download our posters and pin them on noticeboards in your local community groups. We also have ads you can include in community newsletters. Grassroots action is the most effective!

Please download our posters and pin them on noticeboards in your local community groups. We also have ads you can include in school, community groups and local council newsletters.

If you need ads in picture format ( jpg) please email us.

A thank you to our My Forever Family team