Networks: Forging Connections For Mutual Success

Bill White

Taming The World™ Press • Corinth

Copyright 2016 by Bill White The Biggest Deal, Inc.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval

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Introduction

When I was growing up, my Dad always told me, “If you want something done right, you’ve got to do it yourself. And, as a result, I took on far too much at once. I spent a vast amount of time learning how to do pretty much everything one would need to do to keep life running smoothly, whether that was writing, or how to fix a toilet. And while there is some truth to this advice, it quickly becomes obvious if you have big goals and dreams, that we simply don’t live long enough to be able to do everything ourselves. So, ultimately that means we have to lower our ambitions or learn to delegate. I know, since you’re reading this, that you likely have some big dreams. You may currently be on your own, trying to do everything yourself. If you’re making a transition from being an employee to a business owner, you’ll likely be wearing a lot of hats, trying to keep within a budget, and working long hours to keep the machine running. Or perhaps you’re wanting to buy a big house, and frantically trying to work your way up the “corporate ladder” so you can expand how much you have for a down payment. You may be trying to build a charitable foundation, and you’re spending a lot of time learning the ins and outs of getting and maintaining a tax exempt status. Or you may simply just have a lot of big goals, a family life, a work life, and you’re just in the middle of it all juggling hours and dollars to make it all work. Whatever the case may be, one thing I can tell you with certainty. If you want to be a success, you’ll need to get really clear on the reality that success is a team sport. Even if you’re running yourself at maximum efficiency, and trust me when I say, that’s daunting to maintain over the long term, there probably isn’t enough time in the day to get it all done. I’d even go a step further and say, if you are getting it all done, then your goals may not be BIG ENOUGH!

Networks and Networking are all about connections. Have you ever heard the phrase, “It’s not what you know, but, who you know?”

This introduction to networks is designed to teach you practical steps to: • ascend the corporate ladder without taking advantage of those above or

below you in their journey. • earn the respect of powerful mentors without irritating them • build stronger relationships with friends, family, customers, co-workers, bosses and vendors.

• demonstrate the power of being in a circle of powerful people

And above all,

• how to capitalize on creating powerful connections so that they are mutually beneficial. Do you have a database of the people you know? Perhaps you have a Facebook circle of friends, possibly a LinkedIn circle too? How about in your phone? I’m sure you have your friends and family in your phone yes? Perhaps you have a database of email contacts? You might even have a list of customers. I’ve got a simple question for you... Who could you call at 3:00 a.m. if you had car trouble, or a medical emergency, or you got arrested? That person is possibly the most important person you know. And, by the same standard, who could call you at the same time if they desperately needed help? The bottom line here is, we’re establishing who you can count on, and who can count on you. And Rule #1 when it comes to connections is this: You must FIRST be a BENEFIT to the other people in your network. There are really no exceptions to this rule. If you do not stand out to people with a positive connotation, something tangible they get from knowing you, I assure you, that you are an extremely low priority person in their life.

Now this isn’t to say that all relationships are based purely on, “What have you done for me lately? sentiments. But it does mean that deep down, we all base our perception on one another on whether or not we have a good degree of give and take in our relationships. Certainly, you’ve met someone before, that is always asking something from you. It could be the pesky neighbor that comes over twice a week to borrow a little sugar or milk. It could be the mooching Uncle that always has a financial crisis and needs a little cash to get him by. Or the co-worker that guilt trips you into taking on part of their work load in addition to your own. And, quite frequently, these are the very same people who are never around when you’re going through a tough time right? So, we don’t want to be one of these people right? And, even more importantly, when you’re dealing with someone who is doing better than you are currently, you don’t want to come across as the person who only wants to monopolize their time, pick their brain or get a favor. In fact, the more successful people become, the more they tend to place a very high value on their time. Effective time management skills are mandatory once you reach a notable amount of success. (And in that point alone, is a worthwhile thing to consider in your own life and where you are in terms of your goals!) Think about the most powerful people you know right now. It’s helpful to make a list of them. So, write their names in one column of a sheet of paper, then make 2 more columns. The next one will be how they’ve helped you. You can write just a sentence or two. After that, your third column should be a sentence or two about how you’ve helped them. Now, let me be clear. It may well be you don’t know any celebrities, or the CEO of your company, but, wherever you are in terms of your connections, just the most important people you know. It could be a college professor who spent extra time with you to help you pass a course, or introduced you to an internship opportunity that wound up landing you a first job. It could be your own mother or father, and certainly our parents are often instrumental in our success (and for bailing us out of the disasters we’ve created!). Once you’ve done this exercise, be very honest with yourself and ask if you’ve done enough in return for them, that in their mind, they likely get a warm, fuzzy feeling when they think of you. (And that they DO think of you!)

Quite often, if you’re really honest, you’ll find it would probably be wise to make it a point to do something nice for these people. Next exercise. Make a list of 1/2 a dozen people that you’d love to meet, knowing they could probably help your personal development in some way. Maybe it’s a successful stock broker that can teach you how to trade options, or perhaps an Internet personality that has a huge audience. Maybe it’s an artist that you could collaborate with on a book or other project. More often than you’d suspect, these people are accessible. The key is, they have to have a reason to believe that helping you will be valuable to them. And, stop and think whether or not people are seeking you out. Have you had people trying to contact you? (And not bill collectors!) As you become more successful, I assure you, people will start wanting to be around you. You can almost grade your success based on this. Success is a very charismatic thing. (Keep this in mind if you’re single and want to find that special someone too!) As you move toward greater success, you should have an ever increasing number of people seeking you out, that will in time, surpass the number of people you are seeking out. When this starts happening, you know you’re on the verge of arriving. The 4 Key Questions You Need To Be Asking So, to summarize where we’ve been so far, and where your head needs to be as we progress, there are 4 questions that are key to building powerful networks.

Those questions are: Who do I know? How well are we connected? Do I know how to connect with them? Who knows me? We’ll address each in further depth...

Who Do I Know?

Stop and consider all of the people you’ve known throughout your entire life. If we included everyone you’ve had contact with, even casually, it would like be in the thousands right? And, people you knew more than casually, would pair it down to possibly hundreds. And even further, the people you’ve known for a long time and still know...actively in contact, would likely be in the dozens, unless you’re a very social person! Most of the people you’ve known over the years disappear. You lose contact and even people you’ve been quite close with can often fade out of your life over time. Whether they were old friends, old co-workers, school pals, people you hired to do a job or repair something, or just casual acquaintances like the local convenient store clerk, everyone you’ve met has had some kind of impact on you and your life. It could have been positive or negative, mundane or profound, but our interactions do impact our lives and who we become, over time. And, whether you remain in contact with someone or not, you still know them, you’ve simply become disconnected from them. But for our current discussion, think about who you can connect with right now, in a fairly simple manner. It could be you can visit them in person, or message them on social media, or call them, or email them. The better you know them, the easier it will be to connect with them. And certainly how well you know them, greatly predicts how late or early you can call them on the phone. As we continue, you’ll come to understand how important it is to remain in contact with people you know. To have a strong network, you have to remain in their attention. And the most powerful way to do that is to provide them with something of value. So make a list of people you know, again. This time though, write out every means of contacting them you have in memory. No, don’t go look on your phone or in your email box. I’m talking straight from your memory. If you come up short, you need to go back, make this list, do the research and write it all down. Then, even better, memorize them. How Well Are We Connected? This is the next vital question. This one deals with your circle of influence. The nature of each relationship we have plays a huge role in how powerful those

connections are. With every person you know, you share ideas, your feelings, and your experiences. Your circle may include employers, co-workers, friends, family, members of a club or group you’re in, people you work for or hire. They may be in a leadership role with you, or you may be in a leadership role with them. Sometimes you outgrow each other, or simply move on in life. Regardless, with each connection you have, you’ll have varying degrees of quality in your relationships with them. Now here’s where it gets interesting... Think about all the people you’ve known, and how many people each of them have known. Now, clearly, with people you know directly, you may need something from them, or you may do something for them. But what about the people they know that you don’t? There’s this concept called the 6 degrees of separation. The idea behind this concept is that within 6 contacts you should be able to reach anyone on the planet. It’s the idea that if you want to meet someone, you probably know someone, who knows someone, who knows someone, etc, who knows that person. So what makes this relevant? Well, if you know someone, and they think highly of you (because they receive value from you), and you want them to introduce you to someone, then, because they “like” you, it’s very probable they will make an introduction for you. I’m sure you may have experienced this in your dating life. You see this person you think is very attractive, but you don’t know them, so you ask your friend who does to introduce you. And let’s face it. It’s far easier when you operate that way, instead of walking up to a stranger you’ve never met and simply introduce yourself. In fact, if they like your mutual friend, it will probably benefit you in terms of the initial impression they have. So, applying this beyond the dating world (though it’s extremely effective in that are of life), whether it’s business contacts, a fitness expert you want to learn how to lose weight more effectively from (or how to eat right to build bigger muscles), or that noted expert on a particular health issue you have, or whatever, can be tremendously powerful. The key is, knowing your connections well enough to feel comfortable asking them for a favor, and them thinking of you highly enough to be likely to say yes. On to the next question...

Do I know how to connect with them?

Now, if you absolutely have to, you can certainly reach out and make a direct connection with someone you don’t know. But, in my experience, it’s probably the worst possible way of meeting someone. We already covered the affect having a friend of a friend make an introduction can have on first impressions. In the business world, and in sales particularly, there are entire programs on how to make cold calls. It is arguably the fastest way to make a connection, but the odds are extremely low that it will be a lasting one. If you’ve ever had someone refer you for a job position, you may well have experienced some of the power of networking. If you come highly recommended by a former boss or co-worker, it can push you ahead of 100 other applicants for a job position. It may even get you an interview you’d have otherwise never had. You can literally network anywhere you happen to be, with anyone you’ve spoken with before. Obviously, they better you know them, the greater the potential. But the key is to be keenly aware and prepared when you do, so that you have the greatest likelihood of making a good connection. You can do that by simply starting a casual conversation...and being sure to ask engaging questions. Avoid yes/no answer questions, and listen intently to the answers you get. Almost everyone responds favorably when you get them talking about themselves, and they see you are keenly interested in getting to know them. Paying attention is a definite form of flattery. And, it’s even more so when you are absolutely sincere in your interest. As people open up to you, they will often let you know what’s on their mind. It could be an ambition they have, or a problem they are trying to figure out. If you provide them with an answer, or a contact that helps them achieve the ambition or solve the problem, you’ve made yourself a friend. Finally, our last question... Who knows me? If you position yourself as a person of “value” you’ll find people wanting to connect with you. Now, granted, not everyone who seeks you out will have honorable intentions. Some people may not be very valuable to you, but there will be some that are. The key is in finding your best strengths and demonstrating them

through your current connections. Quite a lot of people make a big mistake about leadership, in thinking leadership is about telling other people what to do. But the hallmark of a great leader is in the service they give to others. Sometimes, that service is exactly telling people what to do, or finding a group of people with various talents that can be brought together to achieve a goal to everyone’s benefit. Most often though, leadership is about having a servant’s heart, and nurturing other people’s ambitions. The natural result of this is, building powerful connections that tend to want to reciprocate favors when you need them. So with that, we’ll wrap up this introduction. There is tremendous value here if you’ll commit to the concepts presented, and apply them in your life.

Afterward I hope you enjoyed this introductory guide. This, and the other guides offered at TamingTheWorld.com™ are by no means exhaustive, but rather intended to get you on an active path of personal development. The Taming The World™ series was designed from my decade of experience as both a life and business coach. What I found in my coaching practice, is that there are definitive skills or building blocks of the most successful people. The greatest clients I’ve had, those who went on to achieve the greatest accomplishments, and frequently too, had the most happiness and fulfillment in their lives, all had these core skills or developed them through their coaching experiences with me. One word of caution: No matter how solid the truth, no matter how effective the methods, none of these skills will do anything toward bettering your life if you fail to take action on them. That part, your action, rests entirely upon your responsibility. Whether you want a more fulfilling romantic life, a successful business, a greater level of fitness, or simply a greater degree of control over your life and self, Taming The World directly guides you towards building the solid foundation necessary to have both the quickest and the most profound results. I invite and encourage you to visit me at TamingTheWorld.com™ to explore further. Today truly is the first day of the rest of your life. Life, even when lived to a ripe old age, is such a brief flash of time in the grand scheme of things, and we don’t get a dress rehearsal. It is my sincerest wish, that you will value yourself and the time you have as much as I do, and as a result, fully immerse and commit yourself to the life-long process of unfolding your greatness. All the best! Bill White