Networking…The art of building and sustaining mutually beneficial relationships

NAAAP Women in Leadership

Facilitator: David Lum

March 13, 2010

Topics

• What is Networking?• Why is networking important?• The “Who’s” of Networking• Who is (should be) in my Network?• Networking Self-Assessment• Networking hurdles• Working the Room and Conversation• How to make an impact• Maintaining the relationships• Summary

Very important:If you learn

something you wish to try,

make a noteof it.

Definitions & Comparisons

• Definition of Networking• Creating a group of acquaintances and associates

and keeping it active through regular communication for mutual benefit. Networking is based on the question "How can I help?" and not with "What can I get?"

• Definition of Coaching• Extending traditional training methods to include

focus on (1) an individual's needs and accomplishments, (2) close observation, and (3) impartial and non-judgmental feedback on performance. Coaching focuses on a specific behavior or developmental need.

Definitions & Comparisons

• Definition of Mentoring• Employee training system under which a more

experienced individual (the mentor) is assigned to act as an advisor, counselor, or guide to a junior or trainee (the mentee). The mentor is responsible for providing support to, and feedback on, the individual in his or her charge. Mentoring is focused professional development through deeper one-on-one relationships.

• Definition of a Sponsor• An influential leader who is committed to the

development of a person, and takes personal responsibility for advocacy, protection, and promotion. Sponsorship has a political element to it.

http://www.rileyguide.com/network.html

AfterDuringBefore

Preparation Impression Follow-Up

Networking - A Process and a Discipline, Not An Event

Networking is• A benefit to both persons to

be most effective• Always a two-way street• Asking your network for help

when you need; be prepared to return the favor when asked

• Building on a process…an ongoing lifelong way of doing business

Networking isn’t• A process of making cold-

calls to people you don't know

• Just contacting everyone you know when you need something

Understanding About Networking• Why is networking important?• What can be accomplished by

networking?• Who is in my Network and who should be

in my Network?• Where can I network?• How can I make an impact?

Why is Networking Important?

• Professional Presence & Exposure• Your Career Needs, Job Search• Professional Support

• Brainstorming ideas• Information and resource sharing, seeking, giving• Tough situations

• Finding and Discovering Mentors• Development and Maintenance of Social

Skills

What Can Be Accomplished?

• Establish Professional Connections• Career Advancement• Gain Industry Knowledge• Identify Business Opportunities• Access to Information & Ideas• Find Top Talent• Learn from Other’s Expertise

NETWORK

Mentors

Peers

Huggers

Role Models

SponsorsConnectors

Critical “Who’s” of Networking

Who is in my Active Network?

• People with whom I…• Have regular interactions in work & life• Reach out & interact with 2-4 times per

year• Receive & send emails, calls, IM chat

Who is (and should be) in my Network?

You

Family/Friends

Current Work Colleagues

FormerWorkColleagues

ProfessionalOrganizations Church/Charities/

Volunteer orgs

Alumni Associations

IndustryAssociations

The Case for a Limited Network

• You don’t have time to nurture every relationship – don’t spread yourself too thinly

• The database will be too big to manage and will create more work than value to you

• Not every relationship will benefit you• Pick and choose your associates &

acquaintances – there’s nothing wrong with this!• Value-based two-way relationships are most

meaningful

• Quality of the relationship matters, not quantity

Follow up, follow up, follow up…

Getting Started (Thinking) Exercise:1. Write down 3 colleagues with whom you would

like to refresh/start your professional relationship

2. Write down something you can discuss with them (i.e., shared hobby, sports team, vacation, mutual project)

3. Write down the best way to contact them (email is not always the answer)

4. Schedule a reminder with yourself to contact them on your calendar now

5. Set a follow up meeting date 3 or 6 months out

Where can I Network?

• Online Social Networking Sites• Conferences/Industry Events• Social Gatherings• Affinity Group Events• Work Events• Training Events• Charity Events (e.g., NAAAP Red Orchid

Gala)

Networking Self-Assessment

• Use the right side of this page to write your answers

• Answer the next 6 questions as you think you would behave in that situation, not what you think is the right or best answer

• Being honest with yourself will help you to understand you

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

from Susan Roane’s book “How to Work a Room”

Networking Self-Assessment

1. At a company-sponsored seminar, you see your manager standing alone. You:a. stand with your colleagues and keep talking. You can’t work all

the time.b. just wave hello; after all, the manager may prefer to be alone.c. walk over to your manager and begin a conversation.

2. Your customer invites you to attend a community event he’s sponsoring. You:a. plan to attend and leave early, since you won’t be noticed in the

crowd.b. ask if it’s appropriate to bring a colleague to keep you company.c. decline politely, saying you’re previously engaged.

3. You are in a conversation at a networking event with someone who you don’t find particularly interesting or stimulating. You:a. say “Excuse me, it was nice meeting you” & move on.b. say “I have to go” and walk away.c. continue talking until the other person excuses himself from your

conversation – you don’t want to be rude.

Networking Self-Assessment

4. As a very busy person with lots of time constraints, you:

a. always read a local and national newspaper.b. often read a daily paper.c. never take time to read the paper. That’s why they invented

television.

5. You see a person at a networking event who you have met before but can’t remember their name, you:

a. ask, “Do you remember me?”b. say “Hello” and state your name.c. either (a) or (b) is acceptable.

6. You think a good conversationalist:a. asks questions to get the other person to do the talking.b. chimes in with stories, thoughts, observations.c. does both (a) and (b).

25-30 points: You know how to make the most of a situation20 points: You seize most opportunities, but can be better< 15 points: Opportunities are passing you by

Networking Self-Assessment

Score yourself: 5 points for every correct answer

1. C, Walk over to your manager & begin a conversation

2. B, Ask if its appropriate to bring a colleague

3. A, Say, “Excuse me, nice to meet you” & move on

4. A, Always read a local & national newspaper

5. B, Say “Hello” & state your name

6. C, Ask questions & chimes in with thoughts

Common Networking Hurdles

• Don’t want to talk with strangers• Waiting to be properly introduced• Being pushy, aggressive in conversation

• Controlling or dominating the discussion• One-sided (all talk, no listening)• Mr./Ms. Know-it-all / Highly-opinionated / Right

• Mangled and mixed messages• Not paying attention, not listening• Body language

• Eye contact (lack of, too much), physical contact• Arms, stance, space

http://www.businesspundit.com/how-to-network-for-introverts/

Networking Hurdles – I’m introverted• Networking is a long

term investment in your career

• Don’t network just for the sake of networking

• Over-attend events until you find a match for yourself

• Find the key nodes in the network

• Talk about yourself without bragging

• Join Toastmasters

• Invite people to lunch• Go regularly to events

you like• Analyze your results• Volunteer (NAAAP,

etc)• Be the Early Bird• Don’t worry, be comfy• Seek out fellow

introverts• Set goals• Follow up

www.cio.com “How to Network: 12 Tips for Shy People”

Networking Hurdles – I’m too shy

1. Start small2. Stop apologizing3. Tap into your primal instincts4. The Wisdom of Dale Carnegie

Smile - Ask a question - Listen - Business cards - Say the person’s name

5. Be yourself and relax6. Tap into your passions7. Ask for introductions8. Be generous9. Be prepared10. Follow up11. Get over your fear of rejection12. Take risks13. Seek professional help

“Leadership and the Sexes” by Michael Gurian and Barbara Annis

Networking Hurdles – Gender Differences in Communications

Men• Uses fewer words and has a

limit; will interrupt• Tends to criticize others in

order to connect• Chooses words that describe

the goal of success• Tends to talk about their own

accomplishments• Tends to talk about outcomes

of social groups (sports), trivia, and competition

• Squints/frowns when listening

• Uses more physical space• Notices fewer non-verbal

cues

Women• Tends to use more verbal &

written words; won’t interrupt• Tends to criticize self in order

to connect• Chooses words that describe

the process to success• Tends to listen about other’s

accomplishments• Tends to talk about family,

relationships, memories, and emotions

• Smiles more when listening• Uses less physical space• Believes non-verbal cues

more

Networking Preparation Tips

• Adopt a positive attitude• Focus on the benefit of the event• Plan your self-introduction • Check your business cards – bring plenty!• Prepare your small talk• Remember to make eye contact and smile • Practice your handshake: firm, but not

hard

Working the Room

• Enter the room with confidence• If necessary, use the buddy system• Seek out others• Make the most of name tags: BIG

LETTERS• Use great opening lines• Join conversations that are in progress• Know how to exit from conversations

Conversations – Join

• Use OAR: Observe . . . Ask . . . Reveal• Look for smaller groups of about 2-3 people• Look for an “approachable” person in the group• When entering into a conversation with a group:

• Show interest in the speaker, but stand slightly away from the group

• Ease into the group by demonstrating that you’ve been listening• Initially, it is best to find a point of agreement, or at a minimum

acknowledge the speaker

• Remember the other person’s name and use it: “Nice to meet you, Joe.”• If you missed it or forgot it, confess, ask the person to repeat

his/her name “Excuse me, I’m not sure I got your name…”

• Don’t use nicknames unless that is how the individual introduced herself/himself

• Make it a point to give your name when you meet someone

Conversations - Engage

• Active Listening Skills are critical to successful conversation• People speak 150-200 words per/min but have the capacity

to listen at 300 words/min.• Challenge is that people tend to fill that extra

capacity with distractions such as:• Eavesdropping on other conversations• Drifting in private thoughts• Thinking of questions to ask

• Focus on being present in the moment• Verbalize your listening by asking follow-up questions • Become a “whole body” listener, e.g. facial expressions,

head nods• BEWARE: Too much listening and not enough

verbalizing may halt a conversation…just as monopolizing a conversation may do…you need to strike the right balance.

Conversations – Keep it going

• Ask open-ended questions• Reluctant speakers may respond more easily to questions

about career, leisure interests, or family• Avoid long pauses by planning and preparation• Tailor your preparation to the occasion and to the

audience with whom you will be speaking• What got you involved in this organization/event?• What has been your most important work experience?

• Avoid controversial topics (e.g. stories of questionable taste, gossip, politics, religion, etc.)

• Get personal by being personal, but not too personal • Use compliments, but be sincere with them

Conversations – Exiting gracefully• End the conversation with a show of appreciation:

• “I really enjoyed talking with you about XYZ.”• “I appreciate your willingness to share your insights about

XYZ with me.”• Clearly state the reason you are exiting the

conversation and have a clear destination in mind (make sure you don’t look lost)• “I need to go see the exhibits / refresh my drink / to the

powder room.”• Allow a “changing of the guard” when a new person

joins a conversation with a couple of others in the group

• Take your conversation partner along with you to another conversation group• “I’d like to introduce you to an associate of mine. Let’s see

if she’s around.”• “Let’s circulate. I promised myself I’d meet several new

people.”

Conversations – Ensuring lasting connections• Don’t hesitate to ask for business or referrals as

you exit a conversation• “Do you know of a good contact for XYZ?”• “Can you suggest anyone with whom I could speak about

XYZ?”

• Exchange Business Cards• Exchanging business cards follows a conversation…not

preceding• Best when there is a stated reason (e.g., to schedule a

meeting or to provide some requested information)• Always look at the card before putting it away

• After the Event• Follow up on action items• Call someone you met• Send a “Thank You” note if appropriate

How do you make an IMPACT at a live networking event?• Plan ahead! Know what

you want out of the event and who you want to meet.

• Prepare a short self-introduction showing ties to the event.

• Find common interests• Know the internal and

external hot topics.• Be positive and energized

or the game is over.

• Initiate discussions with open ended questions. Good things do not come to those who wait.

• Work the room. One and two layers above you are more important than the top leader.

• Exchange contact info. Jot notes on business cards.

• Be memorable, remember something

• Give a little, get a little

Ready, Set…Network!

• Think about 1-2 things you want to try• Count off by X• Group by your team number• You’ll have as much time as you’d like to

introduce yourself to the people in your group• Learn at least 1 common interest and 1

interesting fact about each person, and their profession/work/job

• Practice firm handshake

• Once done, move onto another group• Continue until time is up

Ready, Set…Network! De-brief

• Did you try your new technique? How did it feel?

• What do you remember about the people you met? Do you remember the discussion?

• Anyone volunteer to share or help someone after this day? Anyone directly benefit from the discussion?

• Make new friends? Make new professional acquaintances that may be useful to you?

Maintaining the Relationships

• Follow up, follow up, follow up!• Use multiple communication channels • Build and maintain your database• Allocate time (4 hours/month), 2-4

times/year• Use your network for advice and coaching• Be prepared to give and take help• If you find something beneficial for

someone, freely give it to her/him

Summary

• Networking is a critical skill for your career that you will use often.

• Networking isn’t easy if you’re not comfortable with it, but it does get easier with practice – it is a learned skill.

• Networking can be fun!• Networking is a valuable asset and tool

that benefits you when you give & receive.

Acknowledgements

• Many thanks to Parita Patel for this material from GE, used as a starting basis for this presentation.

• Much appreciation to Richelle Mon for asking me to present this material to you.

• My sincere thanks to Parita Patel and Rose Olea for leading the efforts in NAAAP-Chicago in developing women for leadership roles.

• Thank you to all of the NAAAP volunteers who brought this event and this workshop to you!