neiu cesa newsletter · cesa newsletter winter ii 2015 3 upcoming cesa events monthly meetings (all...

NEIU CESA Newsletter Counselor Education Student Association Vol. 6 No. 3

W I N T E R I I 2 0 1 5

In This Issue Upcoming Events 2 CESA / NEIU Events 3 Theoretical Dating Advice 4 Laura Tejada APA Style: What You Need To Know 6 Nicole Debnar CESA Internship Workshop Experience 9 Jonathan Cornell Being My Own Valentine 10 Sue Schwendener Body Language of Attraction 13 Rachel Sonberg

Get Involved! Suggestions, Comments, Questions, Idea for an article?

[email protected] / https://facebook.com/groups/NEIUCESA/

Or talk to one of your officers in class…

Leslie Contos – President [email protected]

Bill Harrison – Vice President (Newsletter Editor) [email protected]

Melissa Erickson – Secretary [email protected]

Katie Petty – Treasurer [email protected]

CESA NEWSLETTER WINTER II 2015

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Upcoming Events

IAMFT Annual Conference 2015 Illinois Association for Marriage &

Family Therapy

March 5, 6, 7 2015 NIU Conference Center Naperville, IL

http://www.iamft.org/ohana/

2015 IL-APT Conference Illinois Association for Play Therapy

February 26 - 27, 2015

The Holiday Inn & Suites Chicago - O'Hare/Rosemont

http://www.ila4pt.org/training-and-conferences/

ISCA Annual Conference 2015 Illinois School Counselors Association

April 24th

North Shore Holiday Inn – Skokie, IL

http://www.ilschoolcounselor.org/conference/registration.html

Illinois Counseling Association NCMHCE/LCPC Test Prep – IMHCA

February 21-22 9AM - 4PM

Chicago, IL

2015 ICA Annual Southern Conference

March 20, 2015

Doubletree Hotel, Collinsville, IL

IMHCA Annual Conference 2015 Illinois Mental Health Counselors Association

March 6, 7, 8 2015

Doubletree Inn – Skokie, IL http://www.imhca.org/Annual-Conference

ACA Annual Conference 2015 American Counseling Association

March 12 - 15 2015

Orlando, FL

https://www.counseling.org/conference/orlando-aca-2015


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Upcoming CESA Events Monthly Meetings (All are welcome!)

NEIU Campus – Student Union SU-217

Thursday, March 5th 6:30 – 7:30 PM Book Swap – Bring a counseling book to sell or trade

Thursday, April 2nd 6:30 – 7:30 PM Thursday, May 7th 6:30 – 7:30 PM

Play Therapy Workshop April 1st Time and Location TBA

Coming Soon: Licensure Workshop - Spring 2015

Here’s why you should join CESA:

• Be in the know about events happening through the Counseling Department. • Network! Get to know your fellow classmates and other counselors in the field. • Add it to your resume. • Have the opportunity to discuss courses with classmates.


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Theoretical Dating Advice: Forming a Relationship with Counseling Theory

by Laura Tejada, Ph.D., LCPC, LMFT, RPT-S

Hello, all you students of counseling theories! Still haven’t found your theoretical home?

Tired of watching all your fellow students settle down with Mr. or Ms. Perfect Theoretical

Partner, while you are still flipping through your Little Black Textbook hoping you can

find a theory that’s willing and available for a one-assignment stand? Do you despair of

ever finding a theoretical orientation you can live with AND practice with for the

foreseeable future? You’re in luck. Dr. Laura of the CESA Theoretical Relationship Center

will answer your theoretical dating questions.

Q: Will I ever find the perfect theoretical orientation?

A: No. (C’mon! You knew the answer to that question when you asked it!) Finding the

perfect theory is like finding the perfect partner. They don’t exist. What you will find once

you stop looking for THE theory is a theory that you are more comfortable with than

others, one that reflects your worldview, and has limitations or drawbacks that you can live

with and work around. Most important, though, is to seek a theory that helps you be

yourself in session while being true to the foundations of your profession. Give up the idea

of The Perfect Theoretical Orientation, and start looking for the theoretical orientation that

is a good fit for you.

Q: I like a different theory every week. Each chapter I read in the COUN 403 or COUN

420 textbook has me convinced that it is THE ONE. Am I theoretically promiscuous?

A: No, not if you are in the early stages of the Counselor Ed program. It is normal for

students who are in their first year of coursework to have a crush on a different theory each

week or month. By the time you work your way into your Internship, you will begin to find


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yourself more selective. If this doesn’t happen, and you are still playing the theoretical field

during your internship semesters, consult a trusted clinical supervisor or professor for

guidance.

Q: I can’t find a theory that I really, really like. I read them and they interest me, but none

of them get me hot and bothered. Am I lacking some sort of theoretical libido?

A: No. You are normal. In fact, it’s best to make a theory selection with a cool head rather

than with a hot body. The theoretical orientation pairings that work best over the long term

are those that you one day realize were there in your world view all along, but you didn’t

know the words for the theoretical concepts. Shop around. Go out with more than one

theory, and take some time before you settle down. You are looking for a relationship with

your theoretical orientation, not a fling.

Q: I really, really like one theory and it fits for me. It’s the one that I adhere to in all my

written assignments, but I find myself trying out other theories at my internship when my

supervisor isn’t watching and I’m not taping the session or transcribing for my internship

class. I try to use the two theories separately and not mix them together—school is school

and internship is internship. But I feel guilty. Is this theoretical infidelity?

A: The element of secrecy is a dead giveaway. Espousing one theory publically and

using another in private is only good until one of them finds out. It is not uncommon for

practitioners to have open relationships with two different theories, mindfully integrating

the two into a personal model of therapy which they refine with experience. The key is to

be open and honest with both theories and admit to each one AND yourself that you are

integrating them. It is then on you as the future professional to make sure that they share

your theoretical household harmoniously.


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I can hear the sighs of graduate students after the instructor reads off the syllabus that

APA Style is a class requirement. For something that is supposed to make things easier for

people in our field, it appears that not everyone adopts the same mentality. I am going to

try to change that by sharing a few tips and resources about APA Style.

Before we delve in to the nitty gritty about APA Style, lets take a look back on its

history and purpose. APA Style dates back to 1929 when a group of psychologists,

anthropologists, and businessmen gathered to create a simple set of style rules that would

codify the many nuances of scientific writing (“What is,” n.d.). Their hope was that this

standardization would make the creation, comprehension, and proliferation of scientific

writing easier for everyone in the field of social sciences (“What is,” n.d.). Essentially, the

purpose of APA is to help us all organize our papers in a uniform fashion. That way we are

able to scan for information a lot more quickly by sifting through the headers and

paragraphs that make up our manuscripts. Once you know APA Style, you will become a

pro at skimming these articles when completing your literature review and annotated

bibliography assignments for class.

So how do we come to master APA Style? Know where to find the

information! Your professors do not expect you to memorize all the standards of APA

Style, but they do expect you to know where to find them or who to go to for assistance.

You can begin by locating the Publication Manual of the American Psychological

Association, Sixth Edition. This is a great resource for those of you taking an Experimental

Course and any of you writing up your findings from a research project. The Manual goes

through the entire scientific writing process from breaking down the different types of

articles to getting your manuscript ready for publication. Perhaps you do not feel like

APA Style: What You Need to Know and Where You Can Find It

by Nicole Debnar


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dropping $30 on purchasing this book, no worries, it is available in the reference section at

NEIU’s library! What are you to do with over 270 pages of jargon? I’ll help get you started

by directing you to a few of my go-to chapters of the Manual.

Chapter 2, “Manuscript Structure and Content” is a good starting point for any of

you completing a research and evaluation course that may require you to write a paper

summarizing your findings from a study. The chapter breaks down the sections of a

manuscript (e.g., cover page, introduction, method, and discussion). Page 40 is my favorite

page of this section because it provides a sample manuscript in standard APA form. I

always use this page to ensure my final product follows the style of this example.

Chapter 3, “Writing Clearly and Concisely” is an excellent resource for everyone as

it will teach you that how to make your paper flow. First, it will teach you that less is more

-- knowing what you need to say and how to say it clearly. Moreover, it will teach you how

to avoid redundant and flowery writing. Second, it will go over how to format and use the

different levels of headings to organize your paper. Finally, it will teach you how to be

sensitive to any labels you may use when writing about different subgroups of people.

Chapter 6, “Crediting Sources” is an essential chapter that will help you cite your

sources within your paper and also demonstrate how to compose your reference list. This

chapter will save you from inadvertently plagiarizing and getting docked points for not

citing a certain source in the correct format! First, it will teach you how to paraphrase.

Second, it will go over how to use direct quotations. A word to the wise on this, avoid

direct quotations at all costs! You are in graduate school! Please use that noggin of yours to

digest the material and paraphrase the information. Too many direct quotations in a paper

will not send the greatest message to your instructor. They want to see that you are able to

synthesize the information and repeat it back in your own words. With that being said, do

not forget to tack on the in-text citation! Finally, the chapter will give you many examples

on how to cite various sources (e.g., journal articles, interviews, film clips, etc.).

And there you have it! Those are my quick tips on how to sift through the


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Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, Sixth Edition.

For those of you not wanting to make a trip to the library and/or not wanting to drop

$30 the Manual, my favorite online resource is Purdue Owl! It’s my other go-to for a

quick and easy rundown on all things APA!

References

APA Style (n.d.). Retrieved January 31, 2015, from Purdue Online Writing Lab

website, https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/section/2/10/

Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association, Sixth Edition.

Washington, DC: American Psychological Association, 2010.

What is APA Style? (n.d.). Retrieved January 31, 2015, from American Psychological

Association website, http://www.apastyle.org/learn/faqs/what-is-apa-style.aspx


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CESA Internship Workshop Experience by Jonathan Cornell

I attended the CESA sponsored internship meeting for prospective 2015-2016

practicum/internship students. The first portion of the meeting contained a quick but very

comprehensive and well organized Powerpointand overview of the internship application

process. Then the floor was opened for questions and concerns. This portion was great,

and I was able to gain a little more perspective about some specific concerns I had and

especially get a good idea of realistic timelines and expectations.

The next segment of the meeting was devoted to a roundtable discussion with six

current interns which was followed by a question and answer session with all of them

responding. This was great! Each student described their process and experience while

applying, their interview experiences and ultimately getting a site. Each experience was

different and some had a site chosen early on, and others had the "nightmare scenario", but

in the end everything still turned out well for the entire panel. This was somewhat

reassuring for all of us present, as the anxiety and urgency to find a good site is something

we are all feeling to some degree. Again, I thoroughly enjoyed the meeting and highly

recommend any prospective interns to attend the CESA internship information meeting.


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The number of adults in America who consider themselves “single” has outweighed

the amount of people who say they have a partner for almost 10 years now. Actually, we’re

all single.

Recently, I’ve come across several psychologists, sociologists, and mainstream

media who celebrate the single life and talk about its benefits for individuals and our

society. All note the difference between being lonely and living alone. So, in celebration of

Valentine’s Day 2015, I wanted to share some of their thoughts on how to nurture our inner

selves and celebrate our singleness.

Singing and dancing

Eric Klinenberg is a sociology professor at New York University and the author of

the 2012 book “Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living

Alone.” Klinenberg and colleagues assembled a playlist of songs that celebrate being

single. Here are several of the songs on the list:

• Rolling Stones, “Get off of My Cloud”

• Beyoncé, “All the Single Ladies”

• Bob Marley, “No Woman, No Cry”

• Tom Waits, “Better off without a Wife”

• Rufus Wainwright, “One Man Guy”

• Gloria Gaynor, “I Will Survive”

• Billy Idol, “Dancing with Myself”

Good food

The BBC’s Good Food website, magazine and TV show showcase the art of cooking

Being My Own Valentine by Sue Schwendener


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for one with their “Meals-for-one” segment. Among their current list of recipes, I found:

• Super steak with cheat’s Béarnaise

• Melting tomato and basil omelet

• Leek and sage risotto with crisp bacon

• One-pot chicken pilaf

• Noodle broth with Thai flavors

• A risotto for early summer

Stillness

Lauren Mackler, a life coach and author, notes in her book “Solemate, Master the

Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life,” that happiness can be elusive if we are the

“mercy of every situation and every stranger” we meet. Instead, she offers tips to help us

reconnect with our internal source of joy or our higher self. Among her suggestions:

• Take a daily walk in nature and be conscious of the surrounding stillness and beauty.

• Sit quieting by the fire, look at the stars, or take a candlelit bath.

• Pray, meditate or make time for spiritual practice every day.

• Practice yoga or deep breathing exercises.

• Make room in your life for laughter. Nurture it in friendships and look for it in your

entertainment.

Connections

Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist, author of “Singled Out: How Singles are

Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After” and “Single with

Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and

Friendship,” also writes the “Living Single” blog for Psychology Today, the “Single at

Heart” blog for Psych Central and has her own blog at www.belladepaulo.com/blog.


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Throughout her work, she cites studies that show the multitude of connections that singles

often develop.

In a 2010 blog for Psychology Today, she writes, “my bottom line is this: If you have a

friend, a sibling, a parent, a child, a cousin, a coworker, a neighbor, or just about any other

person in your life, and you maintain a connection with that person, you have a relationship.

You are in a relationship. I feel the same way about love . . . it is a word with a big, broad

meanings. Let’s celebrate all of them.”

And so, whether you enjoy time with yourself or with others on February 14, whether

you do any of the above activities or something else, I hope at some point you will also take a

second to think about the importance and joy of being our own Best Valentine.

References:

BBC Good Food, Retrieved from www.bbcgoodfood.com

De Paulo, B. (2010). The meaning of ‘relationship;’ Notes from a party. Psychology Today

website. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-

single/201003/the-meaning-relationship-notes-party.

Mackler, L. (2009). Solemate: Master the art of aloneness and transform your life. Carlsbad,

CA: Hay House, Inc.

Klinenberg, E. et al. Playlists for some of the greatest songs on Going Solo. Retrieved from

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005GSYYIU?btkr=1


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For decades, our culture has emphasized sexuality, and there is no doubt that body

language play a huge part in sexual attraction. A primary example of this is Marilyn

Monroe. What is it that makes her “sexy”? I challenge you to look at a picture of this

famous star and see for yourself. Marilyn Monroe, like a lot of today’s famous models,

utilizes the body language of attraction - looking up at you through lowered lids, lips

slightly parted, eyebrows raised high. This is the look some females exhibit right before

an orgasm, which is why it subconsciously attracts men’s attention. However, how do

you attract another person’s attention without showing such intimate body language?

Most people know by an early age that if you want to catch someone’s attention

all you have to do is stare at them. Over 90% of the time, women are the instigators of

courtship. However, women do this so subtly through body language (eye contact, facial

expressions, body posture) that men often believe themselves to be the instigators.

Therefore, it is no surprise that when a woman wants to catch a man’s attention she will

look across the room and meet his gaze for approximately three seconds before looking

away. Research indicates that men generally do not pick up on this message of conveyed

interest until the third or forth time the woman looks over. According to Allan and

Barbara Perce, men tend to be worse at reading body language than women, often

mistaking friendliness and smiling for sexual interest and flirtation. This is due to the

high amount of testosterone men have (over ten to twenty times more than a woman),

which increases men’s tendency to think about sex more often than women. Another

common form of body language used by women is the head tilt. This gesture makes the

woman appear submissive and nonthreatening (due to the exposure of the neck) which is

hugely attractive to most men. Hair flicks are another common form of body language

used in courtship. A woman might toss her hair over her shoulder or away from her face,

Body Language of Attraction by Rachel Sonberg


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whether her hair is long or short. This gesture also causes her armpit to be exposed briefly,

which releases her pheromones. As Marylyn Monroe often exhibits in her photographs,

having wet, open lips shows sexual invitations. Self-touching is another subtle attraction

signal, such as when a woman strokes her neck or leg. Men may subconsciously think to

themselves if they “play their cards right” they will be able to touch her the same way.

Women may also glance over their shoulder, which emphasizes female curves and gives

the impression of caught vulnerability. Last but not least, perhaps women’s greatest assets

are their hips. Women naturally have wider hips then men for childbearing and because of

that women’s hips roll when they walk. You will see this often when models sashay side to

side as they walk. Marylyn Monroe in fact used to cut the heel of her left shoe in order to

further emphasize the roll of her hips when she walked.

Men and women both tend to play with objects such as jewelry or a wine glass,

which gives away their unconscious desire and attraction to another person. Both men and

women find “bedroom eyes” attractive. Bedroom eyes occur when a person’s pupils are

enlarged when they are interested in someone. However, low lights can also cause this

effect, which is why dimly lit restaurants tend to seem romantic. When you are attracted to

another individual, blood rushes to the surface of your skin causing your body to heat up,

which often results in blushing.

The “proper” attraction process using body language goes in five stages: eye contact,

smiling, preening, talk and touch. The eye contact stage is simple - the woman scans the

room and catches the gaze of a man or woman. Then, the woman smiles to invite approach.

Next is the preening step in which the woman will stand or sit up straight to show off her

breasts, cross her legs, tilt her head to one side and play with her hair or jewelry. The man

will respond by straightening up, pulling in his stomach, adjusting his clothes, and pointing

his feet or body towards the woman. Then, he might walk over and begin a conversation.

Finally, the woman or man may reach out and touch the other person on the arm or hands.

Perhaps these steps sound familiar to you.


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Not sure if the person is interested back? Both women and men tend to point their

feet in the direction of the person they are interested in or attracted to. However, if his or

her feet are pointed towards the door, he or she is looking for a quick exit! If the woman

is holding a handbag tightly between the two of you, she is using this gesture as a barrier

to prevent you from getting any closer. Are his or her hands in their pockets or are their

hands open at their sides? Hands in front pockets indicate an unwillingness to talk. If the

person’s eyes are constantly darting around the room, he or she is looking for an escape

route. So, if the person you are interested in has their feet pointed towards the door, their

hands completely in their pockets, is holding a handbag between the two of you and their

eyes are constantly darting around the room, chances are he or she is not interested.

For more information please reference The Definitive Book of Body Language by

Allan and Barbara Pease.

neiu cesa newsletter · cesa newsletter winter ii 2015 3 upcoming cesa events monthly meetings (all...

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