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Supervisors and Managers Training

Negotiating for Results

Self-Study Guide

Negotiating for Results

Self-Study Guide

© Velsoft LearningWorks Training

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How to Use This Guide This Self-Study Guide is designed and laid out in a way that will guide student learning much in the same way that an instructor would. This workbook is comprised of several modules called Sessions. Each Session focuses on a major concept in the course. In each Session, we have included short-answer and (in some instances) multiple choice questions which relate directly to the Session material. Several times throughout the guide, you can take the opportunity to internalise what you have learned by completing the self-reflection exercises entitled “Making Connections.”


Table of Contents Session One: Course Overview ........................................................................................................ 1

Learning Objectives ................................................................................................................ 1 Pre-Assignment ....................................................................................................................... 1

Session Two: What Is Negotiation? ................................................................................................. 4 Defining Negotiation ............................................................................................................... 4 Types of Negotiation ............................................................................................................... 5 Negotiation Alternatives ......................................................................................................... 7 Two Kinds of Interests .......................................................................................................... 12 Phases of Negotiation ........................................................................................................... 12 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 15

Session Three: The Successful Negotiator ..................................................................................... 16 Key Attributes ....................................................................................................................... 16 Key Skills................................................................................................................................ 16 Key Skill: Communication ..................................................................................................... 17 Key Skill: Understanding Body Language .............................................................................. 20 Key Skill: Problem Solving ..................................................................................................... 22 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 23 Key Skill: Creative Thinking ................................................................................................... 25 Key Skill: Building Enthusiasm and Confidence .................................................................... 26 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 26

Session Four: Preparing for Negotiation ....................................................................................... 28 Getting Started ..................................................................................................................... 28 Fear ....................................................................................................................................... 28 Skills ...................................................................................................................................... 29 Personal Preparation ............................................................................................................ 30 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 31 Researching Your Side .......................................................................................................... 32 Case Study: Flatmates ........................................................................................................... 34 Researching the Other Side .................................................................................................. 36

Session Five: The Nuts and Bolts ................................................................................................... 37 Documentation ..................................................................................................................... 37 Setting the Time and Place ................................................................................................... 38 Case Study: Flatmates Revisited ........................................................................................... 39

Session Six: Making the Right Impression ..................................................................................... 40 First Impressions ................................................................................................................... 40 The Handshake ..................................................................................................................... 42 Dress for Success .................................................................................................................. 43 The Skill of Making Small Talk ............................................................................................... 44 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 45

Session Seven: Getting off to a Good Start ................................................................................... 47 Common Ground .................................................................................................................. 47

Session Eight: Exchanging Information ......................................................................................... 48 Outline Positions ................................................................................................................... 48 Handling the Challenges ....................................................................................................... 50

Session Nine: The Bargaining Stage .............................................................................................. 52 Six Techniques for Success ................................................................................................... 52


Case Study: A Much Needed Holiday ................................................................................... 55 Session Ten: Inventing Options for Mutual Gain .......................................................................... 57

The Four Obstacles ............................................................................................................... 57 Obstacle 1: Premature Judgment ......................................................................................... 58 Obstacle 2: Searching For the Single Answer ....................................................................... 60 Obstacle 3: The Assumption of a Fixed Pie ........................................................................... 61 Obstacle 4: Thinking that "Solving the problem is their problem" ....................................... 61 Overcoming the Obstacles .................................................................................................... 62 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 64

Session Eleven: Getting Past No and Getting to Yes .................................................................... 65 Getting Past No ..................................................................................................................... 65 Breaking the Impasse ............................................................................................................ 67 Getting to Yes ....................................................................................................................... 68 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 69

Session Twelve: Dealing with Negative Emotions ........................................................................ 70 Defusing the Bomb ............................................................................................................... 70 Defusing Tips ......................................................................................................................... 72 Exercise: Dealing with the Opposition .................................................................................. 73

Session Thirteen: Moving from Bargaining to Closing ................................................................. 75 Knowing When to Close ........................................................................................................ 75 Formal vs. Informal Agreements .......................................................................................... 76 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 77

Session Fourteen: The Closing Process......................................................................................... 78 The Outcomes ....................................................................................................................... 78 Making Connections ............................................................................................................. 80 Building a Sustainable Agreement ........................................................................................ 80 Getting Consensus ................................................................................................................ 82

Session Fifteen: A Personal Action Plan ........................................................................................ 83 Starting Point ........................................................................................................................ 83 Short-Term Goals and Rewards ............................................................................................ 84 Long-Term Goals ................................................................................................................... 84

Summary........................................................................................................................................ 85 Recommended Reading List .......................................................................................................... 86

Negotiating for Results |

Velsoft LearningWorks Training

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Session One: Course Overview

Negotiating is a fundamental fact of life on any level. People who can master the art of negotiation find they can save time, save money, develop a higher degree of satisfaction with outcomes at home and at work, and earn greater respect in the workplace. In this course, you will develop a basic comfort level to negotiate with both internal and external clients, whether you are working on a project or fulfilling support duties. This interactive guide includes techniques to promote effective communications and gives you techniques for turning face-to-face confrontation into side-by-side problem solving.

Learning Objectives

As you complete this course, you will have the opportunity to:

Appreciate for how often we all negotiate and the benefits of good negotiation skills.

Recognise the importance of preparing for the negotiation process, regardless of the circumstances.

Identify the various negotiation styles and their advantages and disadvantages.

Develop strategies for dealing with tough or unfair tactics.

Gain skill in developing alternatives and recognising options.

Practice the “how to” of these skills in a supportive environment.

Understand basic negotiation principles, including BATNA, WATNA, WAP, and the ZOPA. Consider negotiations you’ve had in the past with either internal or external clients. Why did you decide to take this course? List some goals for yourself that you hope this course will help you achieve.

Pre-Assignment



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In order to become a successful negotiator, there are some skills you need to develop. For this course, please choose one of the following skill areas. Prepare a short summary on how your chosen skill area can help you become a better negotiator. Focus on practical tips and situations. Topic list:

Communication skills

Understanding body language

Problem solving

Creative thinking

Building enthusiasm and confidence



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Session Two: What Is Negotiation?

When we hear the word “negotiation” most of us think of high-powered deals being hammered out: a powerful sport figure’s agent demanding more money for his client, a peace accord in the Middle East, or a pay increase for the teacher’s union. The atmosphere is tense, the players are tough, and the stakes are high. In this session, we build a working definition of “negotiation” and then broaden our idea of negotiation with an in-depth examination of the different types of negotiation.

Defining Negotiation

Like it or not, we all are negotiators. We have to negotiate every day with family, friends, colleagues, or clients. We negotiate with our spouse about where to go for dinner. We negotiate with our child about bedtime, TV time, and allowances. Negotiation

– noun 1. a way of getting what you want from others. 2. the process we use to satisfy our needs when someone else controls what we want.

Some other words you might use instead of “negotiate” include; bargain, haggle, dicker, mediate, and barter. Any method of negotiation may be fairly judged by three criteria:

1. It should produce a wise agreement if agreement is possible. 2. It should be efficient. 3. It should improve or at least not damage the relationship between the parties.



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Types of Negotiation

Negotiation can be categorised in different ways. Here are just a few ways that we can look at negotiation.

Integrative versus Distributive

If we distinguish between integrative and distributive negotiations, we are saying that the parties are looking for different things as they approach the negotiation. Integrative Negotiations: Integrative negotiations are commonly referred to as “win-win.” In this type of negotiation, each side is working towards a solution where everyone wins something. They can make tradeoffs, look at multiple issues, and try to expand the pie rather than divide it. Integrative negotiations foster trust and good working relationships. Distributive Negotiations: Distributive negotiations are referred to as “win-lose.” One party gets what they want, and the other party has to give something up. This can be the case when you negotiate a lease on office space, for example. If you feel like you got a good deal and the property manager had to give something up for you, you “won.” If you feel like the property manager had the upper hand and you got ripped off, you “lost.” The parties’ interests often seem to be opposed (although this may not be the case once you look at things creatively), and so this type of negotiation does not lead to lasting or positive relationships.

Inductive, Deductive and Mixed

The inductive method involves starting on small details and working upward until a settlement is reached. This can be the case where, for example, an employer and labour union are negotiating the details of an employee pension and investment plan. Small details are addressed one at a time. Deductive negotiations start with an agreed upon strategy. They rely on established principles and a formula to frame the negotiation while the parties work out the details. Mixed negotiations are the most common; they are a blend of inductive and deductive methods.



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Soft versus Hard

Soft and hard bargaining involves negotiating a position rather than interests. To avoid some of the common problems associated with bargaining over positions, negotiators who take a soft approach treat the participants as friends, seeking agreement despite great cost, and offering concessions as a way to create or preserve a positive relationship with the other side. The Soft Bargainer A soft bargainer behaves transparently, sharing their bottom line, which can leave them vulnerable to a hard bargainer who is competitive, hides their bottom line, and offers few concessions, if any. The Hard Negotiator Hard negotiators see any situation as a contest of wills in which the side that takes the more extreme position and holds out longer fares better. They want to win; yet they often end up producing an equally hard response, which exhausts them and their resources and harms their relationship with the other side. In a negotiation between a soft and a hard bargainer, the hard approach will almost always come out with a much better deal. Soft negotiators want to avoid personal conflict and so make concessions readily in order to reach agreement. They want amicable resolution, yet often end up being exploited and feeling bitter. Other standard negotiating strategies fall between hard and soft, but each involves an attempted trade-off between getting what you want and getting along with people.

Principled Negotiating

In their book Getting to Yes, Roger Fisher, William Ury, and Bruce Patton recommend principled negotiation, instead of hard vs. soft, because principled negotiation relies on interests rather than positions. The answer to the question of whether to use soft or hard positional bargaining is not “either,” but rather both hard and soft. Change the game. This method can be boiled down to four basic points that define a straightforward method of negotiation that can be used under almost any circumstance. Each point deals with a basic element of negotiation and suggests what you should do about it.

1. People: Separate the people from the problem. 2. Interests: Focus on interests, not positions. 3. Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do. 4. Criteria: Insist that the result be based on an objective standard.

Looking for Mutual Gain Principled negotiation suggests that you look for mutual gains whenever possible, and that where your interests conflict, you should insist that the result be based on some fair standards



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independent of the will of the other side. This is the method that we will focus on during this course.

Three Basic Styles

Researchers have found there are three basic negotiating styles.

1. Co-operative Style 2. Aggressive Style 3. No Pattern

We may not be able to change our primary style a great deal, but if we recognise the traits of a good negotiator, we can continually practice and sharpen our skills until we are better than we are right now. The better we become, the more we can get done in less time. A good negotiator will try to address their agenda as well as the agenda of the other person.

Negotiation Alternatives

Alternative Dispute Resolution, ADR

Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) continues to be a popular alternative to negotiation. If negotiations stall, the result can often be a move to arbitration or litigation. However, arbitration and litigation can be expensive and time-consuming undertakings. Either of them can result in a solution that neither party is happy with (a “lose-lose”), and both processes are full of friction. ADR is an alternative that allows the negotiating parties to utilise a formal dispute resolution process. Using mediators or facilitation, parties work through the process together and try to come up with a winning solution. One factor that makes ADR different is the idea that the negotiating partners must be satisfied with the outcome. If a stalemate results with proper use of ADR, then the negotiations can move to arbitration or litigation as a last resort.



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Non-Negotiable Positions vs. Options

There are several ways that you can handle non-negotiable positions or options. As a negotiator, you must not go to the table with an intention like, “This is all the money we have, and so this position is non-negotiable.” If you dig your heels in on such a position, there will not be much point in negotiating at all. Similarly, if you elect to draw the line on a particular issue, you must know your limits and the room you actually have to negotiate. For example, perhaps you approach your boss about a raise. The boss says no because he has no money left in the budget. Instead of giving up your idea of getting a raise (because you know that you have already earned it), consider whether there are other things that would satisfy you, like attending a conference, taking a course, or working fewer hours each week. If you are prepared with your justification for the raise before you approach your boss, and you also have a few alternatives based on your knowledge of the need for training, the availability of a conference budget, and so on, your chances of success are much greater.

Using Different Approaches and Formulas

Just because someone says no to your request does not mean you have asked the only question that is available. A good negotiator is prepared to use several possible approaches and formulas. They often ask questions more than they provide answers. They can assess a situation, including the expertise of the parties involved, and adapt formulas to suit the occasion. An employer’s negotiator, for example, who comes to the table insisting that they have a winning formula for this round of negotiations, will raise the defenses of the other party instantly regardless of whether the formula is ideal. At the beginning of a negotiation, it is important to establish a formula that will be agreed upon between the parties. It is equally important to recognise when the formula is getting in the way of making progress because it is too rigid and needs to be tailored to the situation.

Positional Bargaining

Whether a negotiation concerns a contract, a family quarrel, or a peace settlement between nations, people routinely engage in positional bargaining. Each side takes a position, argues for it, and makes concessions to reach compromise. The classic example of this negotiating minuet is the haggling that takes place between a customer and the proprietor of a second-hand store.



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Customer Shopkeeper

How much do you want for this brass dish?

That is a beautiful antique, isn’t it? I guess I could let it go for $75.

Oh, come on, it’s dented. I’ll give you $15.

Really! I might consider a serious offer, but $15 certainly isn’t serious.

Well, I could go to $20, but I would never pay anything like $75. Quote me a realistic price.

You drive a hard bargain. $60 cash, right now.

$25. It cost me a great deal more than that. Make me a serious offer.

$37.50. That’s the highest I will go. Have you noticed the engraving? Next year, pieces like that will be worth twice what you pay today.

And so it goes. Perhaps they will reach agreement; perhaps not.

Producing Unwise Agreements

When negotiators bargain over positions, they tend to lock themselves into those positions. The more you clarify your position and defend it against attack, the more committed you become to it. The more you try to convince the other side of the impossibility of changing your opening position, the more difficult it becomes to do so. Your ego becomes identified with your position. You now have a new interest in saving face. Any agreement you reach must be explained in light of your position. When more attention is paid to positions, less attention is devoted to meeting the underlying concerns of both parties. Agreement becomes less likely. Any agreement reached may reflect a mechanical splitting of the difference between final positions rather than a solution carefully crafted to meet the legitimate interests of the parties. The result is frequently an agreement less satisfactory to each side than it could have been.



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Endangering Ongoing Relationships

Positional bargaining becomes a contest of will. Each negotiator asserts what he or she will and won't do. The task of jointly devising an acceptable solution tends to become a battle. Each side tries through sheer will power to force the other to change its position. Anger and resentment often result as one side sees itself bending to the rigid will of the other while its own legitimate concerns go unaddressed. Positional bargaining thus strains and sometimes shatters the relationship between the parties. Commercial enterprises that have been doing business together for years may part company. Neighbours may stop speaking to each other. Bitter feelings generated by one such encounter may last a lifetime.

Being Nice is No Answer

Many people recognise the high costs of hard positional bargaining and try to avoid them by using a more gentle style of negotiation. Instead of seeing the other side as adversaries, they prefer to see them as friends. Rather than emphasising a goal of victory, they emphasise the necessity of reaching agreement. In a soft negotiating game, the standard moves are to make offers and concessions, to trust the other side, to be friendly, and to yield as necessary to avoid confrontation.



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A Positional Negotiation Illustration

The following table illustrates two styles of positional negotiating.

Soft Hard

Participants are friends Participants are adversaries

The goal is agreement The goal is victory

Make concessions to cultivate the relationship

Demand concessions as a condition of the relationship

Be soft on the people and the problem Be hard on the problem and the people

Trust others Distrust others

Change your position easily Dig in to your position

Make offers Make threats

Disclose your bottom line Don’t disclose your bottom line

Accept one-sided losses to reach agreement

Demand one-sided gains as the price of agreement

Search for the single answer: the one they will accept

Search for the single answer: the one you will accept

Insist on agreement Insist on your position

Try to avoid a contest of wills Try to win a contest of wills

Yield to pressure Apply pressure



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Two Kinds of Interests

Substance Interests

Every negotiator wants to reach an agreement that satisfies their interests. That is why one negotiates. Beyond that, negotiators also have an interest in their relationship with the other side. It is important to carry on each negotiation in a way that will help rather than hinder future relations and future negotiations. In fact, with many long-term clients, business partners, family members, fellow professionals, or government officials, the ongoing relationship is far more important than the outcome of any particular negotiation.

Relationship Interests

A major consequence of the “people problem” in negotiation is that the relationship tends to become entangled with their discussions of the problem or substance. On both the giving and receiving end, we are likely to treat people and problem as one. Anger over a situation may lead you to express anger toward some human being associated with it in your mind.

Phases of Negotiation

Although people often think that negotiating is the same as bargaining, it is not. Negotiating is a process, and bargaining is one stage of that process. There are three other stages of negotiating, and even those are tempered by timing, intuition, and flexibility to the process. When the negotiating formula works as it is intended, the parties are more likely to work together with trust and respect in the agreement.

(Adapted from Shell, Richard: Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People, Penguin, 1999)

Let’s take a more in-depth look at each phase.



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Preparation

An inexperienced negotiator who is well prepared can successfully make their argument and “win” their case against a seasoned negotiator. In the preparation phase, negotiators need to review previous examples or other incidents that might have bearing on the current situation. It is in this phase that parties will decide to negotiate rather than pursue court ordered settlements as a way to control their costs or the amount of time spent in court. When the cost of NOT negotiating a resolution is higher than the cost of negotiating, then negotiation can be the most desirable course of action.

Exchanging Information

This is not a step that many negotiators consider consciously, except perhaps in legal situations (where it is referred to as disclosure), but it makes sense, even in negotiations at home, and, certainly, in the workplace. Exchanging information is really an extension of preparation, and allows both parties the opportunity to consider all of the available information before a bargaining meeting takes place.

Bargaining

This is the “meat and potatoes” part of negotiation. Bargaining is where interested parties go over their agreements and negotiate changes, sometimes one term at a time. There are times when an agreement in principle can lead to a long and protracted quest for agreement on smaller details. Those smaller details are worked out in bargaining, the phase where actual sacrifices and concessions are made. This is the stage where hostility and anger can become evident, as the parties work on the fine details of an agreement. It is important that negotiators remain calm, professional, and relaxed during this phase. If negotiators lose their tempers or argue, the negotiations may fall apart; no progress can be made if people are not speaking to one another. A Bargaining Example:

A common example of bargaining outside of the workplace is in divorce proceedings. The divorcing couple may agree in principle that they will share custody of their children equally. However, the details of deciding how to share the children during special occasions like birthdays, school holidays, or Christmas can become extremely difficult to work out – much more so than deciding other details, such as who is responsible for particular amounts of debt, or who gets the photo albums, CDs, or casserole dish.



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Commitment and Closing

Once the parties have completed bargaining, made all the adjustments, and agreed upon the least uncomfortable result, the negotiation is ready for commitment and closure. This would be the time, for example, when you make a deposit on a new car. It is also the time when a bargaining committee in a workplace would return to their membership with a new deal to be voted on. Commitments can be made public (through press release or some other media) as a way to share the conclusion of the process. By this time, any hostility should be long over with since the parties have moved to this stage following the conclusion of bargaining. At times, though, resentment can be close beneath the surface, and so any positive steps that can continue to support relationship building are important at this time. One final, important note in the process is to make absolutely sure that you have a commitment to carry out the agreement that has been negotiated.



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Making Connections

The Negotiation Phases

For each of the negotiation phases described in this session, come up with an example. It could be from your experience or use your imagination and make one up. Preparation

Exchanging Information

Bargaining

Commitment and Closing



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Session Three: The Successful Negotiator

What are the characteristics a successful negotiator must have? Everyone could have a different answer to that question and perhaps none of them would be wrong. There are, however, certain principal features that everyone should be aware of. In this session, we cover some key attributes and follow up with a deeper study of several of the skill areas that every aspiring negotiator must master.

Key Attributes

When negotiating, it is imperative that you always keep in mind the following key points:

They see possibilities rather than problems.

They are excellent communicators.

They keep an open mind.

They have confidence in their own abilities (or act like they do) and the negotiation process.

They are willing to listen.

They are optimistic.

Their egos don’t get in the way of a win/win solution.

They are creative and ready to consider ways of doing things differently.

They are flexible.

They have excellent self-control.

They are always well-prepared.

They are life-long learners.

Key Skills

Recall as part of your Pre-Assignment, you completed a brief summary on a skill area that you selected for a list. For your reference, here we have included further information of what the experts have to say on the same topics.

Communication skills

Understanding body language

Problem solving

Creative thinking

Building enthusiasm and confidence



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Key Skill: Communication

Two of the most powerful communication skills are our ability to listen and to ask questions. These are the tools everyone uses overcome miscommunication problems. Surprisingly, we don’t do either of them very well.

Listening Skills

Good listening skills are crucial to relationship building. Remember the saying, “God gave us two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we talk.” Listening is not just a trick or a succession of techniques. It is an attitude, a way in which you relate to the world. To be a good listener, you must make paying attention a part of the way you live. Most of us take it for granted that we are good listeners, and that listening just comes naturally to us. In fact, listening is as complicated and strenuous as the other forms of communication—reading, writing, and speaking. One reason listening is important is that we do so much of it each day. It is our most frequently used communication skill. Guidelines for Effective Listening

Concentrate.

Maintain eye contact.

Use your time to anticipate, evaluate (not judge), summarise, and listen between the lines.

Constructive Listening

To be an effective negotiator, it is important to be both a willing and a skilled listener. There are some guidelines for constructive listening:

When someone has something on their mind, allow that person to talk it out without responding with sharp answers or judgment calls about the unreasonableness of the statements.

Restrain any natural impulse to be curious and avoid asking questions that show bias or are not relevant to the discussion.



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If feelings or emotions become the centre of discussion, don’t dismiss them lightly or abruptly. Discouraging the expression of emotional issues can inhibit the team’s ability to work things out. They need to be allowed to vent their frustrations.

Violent and deep-seated negative expressions require understanding rather than judgment.

Although it may be difficult to be silent, you should speak as little as possible when listening.

Verbal cues that you are listening, such as an alert facial expression and a slight forward movement, all indicate interest.

Acceptance doesn’t require agreement. It isn’t necessary to say, “I think you are absolutely right.” Possibly the only thing worse to say is, “I think you are absolutely wrong.”

Don’t give advice on personal matters. There is an old saying, “A wise man does not need advice; a damn fool will not take it.” Let the speaker decide what the best approach is. Your role is to listen and, when appropriate, suggest where the person may find additional help.

(Source: Active Listening by Carl R. Rogers and Richard E. Farson)

Asking Good Questions

There are two kinds of questions: open and closed. Closed Questions Closed questions are those that can be answered by either yes or no, or with a specific bit of data, such as your name, date of birth, or occupation. These questions restrict our responses and give us little opportunity to develop our thoughts. As a result, they require little effort and can even close down a conversation. This type of question tends to get over-used, partially because they require very little effort on the questioner’s part as well. They are easy to phrase and we get quick answers. Unfortunately such questions also can lead us to assume, and assumptions can be big barriers to good communication. Open Questions Open questions, on the other hand, encourage people to talk. These questions are phrased so they cannot be answered with a simple yes or no. Open questions often begin with a variation of the five W’s, (who, what, when, where, why), or can ask how.



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Exercise: Conversations

Provide an example of a conversation that uses mostly closed questions.

Now provide an example of a similar conversation using open questions and the listening suggestions we talked about in this session.



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Key Skill: Understanding Body Language

Remember that when we are delivering any message, only 7% of that message is our words. The rest is our tone of voice and our non-verbal body language.

(Source: “Silent Messages” by Albert Mehrabian) Our bodies speak volumes. We are always sending signals to others, whether we like it or not. Body language combined with vocal tone can override or even cancel the meaning of the words we say. Make sure your mouth and your body are sending the same signal.

Things to Remember About Body Language

Here are some things to keep in mind about body language:

Eyes, eyebrows, and mouth send out the signals that can make a world of difference.

People who smile are happier than those who don't. Smiling releases a chemical in your brain that makes you feel good. It's a great way to establish a rapport with listeners.

Eye contact helps you carry your message. It builds trust.

Learn to speak with your hands. Draw lines in the air, make a point, count on your fingers, and emphasise length and width.

Work on appearing sincere and comfortable.

Let your hands do what they want to do, as long as they don't get in your pockets, fiddle with an object, or make obscene gestures.

Your body posture affects your emotions and how you feel determines your posture. If you are confident, happy and ready, your body will show it.

Watching for Cues

One of the most important things you can do with body language is learn to pick up cues from people that you are making them uncomfortable. If you sensitise yourself to these simple cues, over time, people will have the experience of feeling more relaxed, at ease, and open with you (and to you).

Rocking

Leg swinging

Tapping



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These are the first signals of tension and indicate that the person feels intruded upon or nervous. If it escalates, these signals are often followed by:

Intermittent closing of the eyes

Slight tucking of the chin into the chest

Shoulder hunching Basically, learn to watch for these, and then adjust your approach. Sometimes just taking one step back, or ceasing talking and getting the other person to talk to you instead, will be all it takes to ease the tension.

Exercise: Presentation Body Language

If you are making a presentation and you see someone in your audience slouching, frowning or crossing their arms, what would your reaction be?



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Key Skill: Problem Solving

There are three phases to solving a problem. The problem is identified in phase one. A decision is made in phase two. Finally, a solution is implemented in phase three. The steps in these phases are shown in the following Problem Solving Diagram.

Phase One: Problem

Identification

Identify apparent problem

Seek and analyse the causes

Define the real problem

Phase Two: Decision Making

Identify alternative solutions

Choose the best solution

Phase Three: Planning and

Organizing

Plan a course of action

Implement



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Making Connections

Solve the Problem

Think about a recent negotiation issue you’ve experienced, and describe it below.

Now apply the problem solving diagram to it.

Phase One: Problem Identification

What is the apparent problem?

What are the possible causes?

Define the real problem

Phase Two: Decision Making



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List some possible solutions

Of those solutions you listed, choose the best solution.

Phase Three: Planning and Organising

What is your plan of action and how can you implement it?



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Key Skill: Creative Thinking

The process of negotiating can become stale. Positions can become immovable when both sides run out of ideas and have little to offer. Sometimes that can simply be the result of spending a lot of time bargaining and everyone getting tired. If that is the case, take a break from negotiating to brainstorm.

Brainstorming

Brainstorming is one of those creative periods where you can surround yourself with a group of people and simply generate ideas. Gather a group of people, perhaps your team at work. Let them know that you are looking for ideas and arrange a brainstorming session. Brainstorming is a time when ideas are:

Freely generated

Recorded (on chart paper or computer is usually convenient)

Explored

Not judged In a brainstorming session, make sure that the ideas being generated are not judged, or you will find that people’s creative juices stop flowing as they become wary of having their ideas ignored or discounted. The idea of brainstorming is to get ideas out in front of the team.

Think Outside the Box

Thinking outside of the box takes your brainstorming session to a new level. Fully exploring ideas and trying to solve them in ways that are unique and fresh means that you are stretching your ability to solve problems, and are really considering all possibilities in a situation. Outside-the-box thinking can generate stunning gains in the negotiation process, and lead to applicable and valuable outcomes that you never imagined when you were preparing for the process to get underway.



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Key Skill: Building Enthusiasm and Confidence

Being confident and enthusiastic is the key to a successful negotiation. Self-confidence is based on the knowledge that you will probably be successful at an activity because you have been successful at similar activities in the past. Can we project self-confidence even when we don’t feel self-confident? Yes, there are several things we can do.

Strategy Description

Pretend you are confident

Imagine yourself to be a confident person. Get that image in your mind and act it out. Project confidence. Stand up straight, dress better, and try to play the part.

Monitor your self-talk

Listen to what those little voices are saying inside your head. If they are eroding your confidence, stop those tapes and put in new, positive messages.

When you meet people, look them in the eye

Confident people do that. People who aren’t confident don’t.

Smile This can be a subtle sign of confidence.

Listen

Confident people are generous enough with their time to listen to others.

Know your stuff

Your confidence can’t be all a front. While you are looking people directly in the eyes, standing straight, and otherwise acting as if the world were your oyster, you also have to know what you are doing. If you are prepared and sure of your facts, you’ve got a better chance of projecting confidence.

Rehearsal is the best confidence builder

Rehearsing can be as simple as writing out a speech or your intended conversation with someone, and practicing it in front of the mirror. Do a role-play with a trusted friend or colleague. To tackle your underlying fear of failure, include imagery with your rehearsal. Imagine yourself succeeding.

Start small

Begin practicing your skills in small scale situations where you are comfortable. If you successfully negotiate a chore schedule with your children and a child care arrangement with your babysitter, you will likely feel more confident when it’s time to negotiate a pay raise with your boss.

Making Connections



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Negotiator Characteristics

From your experience in negotiating, what do you think are some other characteristics a successful negotiator?



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Session Four: Preparing for Negotiation

Before we go into any negotiating session, whether with family members, colleagues, or clients, there are essential steps we must take if we want a successful negotiation process. In this session, we take a look at what preliminary preparations we must make if we expect to be successful in the negotiating arena.

Getting Started

Sometimes we are in the midst of negotiation before we even recognise it. If this occurs, we have less chance to improve the outcome. If you have not thought of the transaction as a negotiation, and have not prepared, chances are the results will not be as beneficial for you as they might have been. Preparation is 80% of negotiating success.

Fear

Only our minds can produce fear. According to research completed by Shirley Winslow, a practicing psychologist and a professor at the University of Alberta, we human beings have a lot of fears buzzing around our subconscious. These fears play a greater role than we may realise in how we work and play. Winslow divided them into four categories, in no particular order.

Fear of Humiliation

Many of us were humiliated and made to feel ashamed or embarrassed when we were children, either because of the glasses or the clothes we wore, or dozens of other situations where other people laughed at us or embarrassed us. When we come to the negotiation table, all these early fears may resurface. No one wants to be laughed out of the room for asking a silly question or making a stupid offer.



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Fear of Failure

If we don’t ask for too much we won’t be disappointed. If we don’t try, we will never know the real limits of our abilities, and we won’t have to face failure.

Fear of Rejection

Rejection comes in a hundred different ways, like being the last one picked for the softball team, not being asked to sit on the committee, or being turned down for a date. Maybe you never even asked for that date because you just knew you would be rejected, or you wanted to say “no” before someone has the chance to reject you first. You feel inadequate.

Fear of Powerlessness

Asking people for stuff makes you vulnerable. Other fears you may be familiar with include fear of abandonment, fear of endless obligation, and fear of punishment. Conquer the fear of change a little bit at a time. If you don’t like the outcome, what can you learn from the experience? Give yourself permission to try things, to look awkward, to make mistakes. As the saying goes, “Keep on doing what you’ve always done and you’ll keep on getting what you’ve always got.” Growth and development require some discomfort.

Skills

There are only three ways to improve your negotiating skill:

Find out what is working and do more of it.

Find out what isn’t working and stop doing it.

Try new things and see which ones work and which ones don’t. Remember, reminding ourselves of our negotiating skills can help us deal with our fears.



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Personal Preparation

Before you get into a tough negotiation situation, there are some things that you can do to prepare yourself mentally. It’s often difficult to look at ourselves critically, but it’s much better to do it yourself first than to have someone else do it for you. Do you know things about you that are true, but that you would prefer to avoid? When people make comments about (or when situations expose) things that we are ashamed of or that we try to deny, we say that they are “pushing our buttons.”

Pushing Hot Buttons

Some examples of statements that can push our hot buttons are:

“When did you become a race car driver?” (criticising our driving)

“Are you sure you should be eating that?” (criticising our diet)

“You don’t belong here.” (insulting our membership in a group or workplace) Depending on how well you have accepted your own foibles, and how you respond to people’s comments, you may have more or fewer hot buttons at different times of your life. A lazy Saturday afternoon that is interrupted by someone saying, “You never do anything around the house,” can push a lazy button and a guilt button. You may start thinking, “Should I be cleaning that bathroom right now?” or, “I knew I should have vacuumed before I sat down!”

Learning to Control Reactions

When you know what your own personal hot buttons are, you can prepare for them and then control your reactions. One technique that negotiators may use is to try to say things that will fluster their partner. Once you are flustered, you could be more likely to give in to their demands or overlook something that they try to slip into an agreement. Know what pushes your buttons, and you could save yourself some grief in the negotiation process.



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Making Connections

My Hot Button Response

Take a moment to reflect on potential sensitive topics and describe new, more diplomatic ways of facing them when the situation arises.

Hot Button Potential Response



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Researching Your Side

When doing research and preparing for negotiations, there are three important considerations:

1. Collecting facts

2. Knowing priorities

3. Knowing principles

Collecting Your Information

You will want to collect all the direct and indirect information that you will need to back you up during negotiations. With access to information today, it is a much simpler task than ever to accumulate all kinds of data and statistics. For example, if you are preparing to purchase a vehicle or a house, plenty of information is available, such as comparable properties and prices. If you are preparing to negotiate a raise, or are negotiating salary increases at work, then comparable wage statistics, the history of the organisation and its mission and values, their previous experiences in the collective bargaining process, and strategic plans are all important concepts to understand. Once you have collected and analysed the information, you need to set out your plan for negotiation. You must know the issues involved and know what you want to achieve.

Determine Your Main Objective

What do you want to get out of the negotiation? Let’s take a common scenario: you want to negotiate with your boss to get a raise.

Determine Your Supporting Points

What factors support your main objective? Using the raise example, perhaps you have taken on extra responsibility or projects. You will also want to research industry and company standards (such as when raises are given and what salary ranges for your position are).



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Determine a Fallback Position

What options other than a raise might you consider? More holidays, flexible hours, working from home, and company perks (like a cell phone or a vehicle) are just some of the options. You don’t want to put these on the table right away, but they will give you a fallback position if your boss says there’s no money in the budget for a raise.

Identify Your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) and Worst Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement (WATNA)

If your boss won’t give you a raise, perhaps your best alternative would be the options you identified, or a review in six months. The worst alternative in this case would be no action at all. You should always do as much research as possible before identifying your BATNA. For example, let’s say that you discover that there’s a company in your area that has a similar position available to the one you’re currently doing, at a better salary. You apply for the job, get an interview, and are offered that position. If your boss won’t agree to a raise, perhaps this offer is your BATNA. Remember that the BATNA and WATNA don’t have to be your main objective for the negotiation. They are a yardstick that you can use to measure offers and counter-offers.

Identify your WAP

When you establish your priorities, make sure you have a clear understanding of your Walk Away Position (WAP). What is the least that you will accept (or the highest price that you are willing to pay)? Establish your WAP value in your mind and keep it clearly available so that you do not get caught up in the heat of negotiating, either ending up with something you never wanted, or turning down a deal that was better than your WAP. If you are negotiating on someone else’s behalf, make sure that you know their WAP so that you do not make any mistakes in negotiating for them.

What Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA) Might Exist?

It’s also a good idea to analyse possible agreements before you get into a negotiation. The Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA) is an area of overlap where the desired outcomes of both parties reside, and where both parties can live with the outcome. Once you reach a ZOPA, the finer details need to be worked out within the scope of what both parties have already found is potentially working for them.



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For example, if your business forecasting allows for a 2% salary increase each year for the next three years, and similar companies in your industry are offering the same, and you are asking for 7% over four years, then you may be within the ZOPA.

Case Study: Flatmates

Background

You and your best friend recently decided to become flatmates and share a two-bedroom apartment. You are a freelance artist and you work from home. Because you spend more time at home, she feels that you should do more of the housework and pay a larger share of the power and water bills. This issue is causing significant strain on your relationship, so you decide to try to negotiate a solution. What might be some of your hot buttons?

Determine your main objective.

Determine your supporting points.

Determine a fallback position.



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Identify your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (BATNA) and Worst Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement (WATNA).

Identify your Walk Away Position (WAP).

What Zone of Possible Agreement (ZOPA) might exist?



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Researching the Other Side

Knowing priorities means having a good understanding of what you want from the negotiation. You also need to know what the other party wants. Understanding your principles, both as a negotiator and as an individual, will help you to form and present a case that is compelling and believable. Understanding the principles of the other party can also be very helpful to you. A little more research can help you to understand what the organisation’s beliefs are, how they have approached previous negotiations, what terms seem to be more important to them than others, and what terms they could be willing to be flexible with.

Knowing Your Opposition

Some things you can explore about the negotiator:

What is their business about?

What are their competitors like?

What is their stock like?

What associations does the person belong to?

What people do you both know?

What hobbies does the person have?

Exercise: Researching the Other Side

Taking the earlier example of asking your boss for a raise, what are some things you may want to research about them and the company?



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Session Five: The Nuts and Bolts

In addition to the preparations already covered, there exist some finer details to consider before negotiations begin. In this session, we examine various other preparations one must make before entering into negotiation proceedings.

Documentation

Always prepare your research in a professional format and bring it with you. This can include your research about the other party, facts and figures to support your case, and graphs and photos. Ensure you have separate folders for confidential information and information you’re going to share. Keep both sets of information with you at all times during the negotiation. You should have an information sheet outlining your main objectives, supporting points, fallback position, BATNA, WATNA, WAP, and ZOPA.

Supporting Your Case

Another powerful tool is to take documentation provided by the opponent and highlight parts that support your case. Continuing with the example of asking the boss for a raise, you may want to highlight the part of your contract that states you get a cost of living increase each year, or the company policy that states each employee gets a raise based on their years of service. Make sure any documentation you plan to show the other side looks professional. Handing someone a rumpled sticky note covered with coffee isn’t going to help your case.



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Setting the Time and Place

Once you’ve prepared, it’s time to set up the negotiation meeting. If you can control the environment, you’ll have a big advantage!

Home Field Advantage

The absolute best place to meet is somewhere that you feel comfortable – your office, your company’s boardroom, or even your favourite cafe. The worst place is somewhere your opponent feels comfortable. Neutral ground would be a rented boardroom or a restaurant neither of you have visited before. If at all possible, choose to meet on your home turf or somewhere neutral. Don’t be afraid to negotiate where the negotiation will happen! If you must meet on the opponent’s turf, neutralise the effects by standing up and moving around.

Choosing the Time

If you’re given the choice, choose a time of day that works best for you. Some people are at their best in the morning; others are at their best in the early afternoon. Also, if someone proposes a negotiation time or date and you don’t think you’ll be ready in time, don’t hesitate to tell them you need more time to prepare. Never allow yourself to be forced into negotiating early.

Other Factors

There are a number of other factors that can influence a negotiation. If, for example, it’s summertime and everyone shows up in short sleeves, but you’ve got the boardroom air conditioning turned way up (and you’re prepared with a sweater), you’ll have an advantage. Some negotiators also feed their opponents heavy food and drink so that their opponents let their guard down. We’re not suggesting you try these tricks, but we do want to make sure you’re aware of how the environment can affect a negotiation. Make sure you eat lightly before a negotiation and never drink alcohol. (You should also minimise your caffeine and sugar intake.) Dress in layers so that you can adjust to the temperature of the room.



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Case Study: Flatmates Revisited

Background

You and your best friend recently decided to become flatmates and share a two-bedroom apartment. You are a freelance artist and you work from home. Because you spend more time at home, she feels that you should do more of the housework and pay a larger share of the power and water bills. This issue is causing significant strain on your relationship, so you decide to try to negotiate a solution. What documentation might you want to bring?

What would be your home turf?

What would be neutral ground?

What would be your roommate’s home turf?



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Session Six: Making the Right Impression

In years past you’ve probably heard that we only have about 5 minutes to make a great impression. Well, in today’s world, we seem to have shortened that to about 90 seconds. In this session, we present the things to keep in mind in order to make a positive impression.

First Impressions

Here are some things to keep in mind to make a positive impression:

Confident posture

Eye contact

Minimal body movement

Clothes are clean, neat, and stain-free

Shoes are clean and polished

Fingernails are clean (for women, no chipped polish)

Pleasant expression

The Rule of Twelve

You can control that critical first impression by observing the following guidelines based on the Rule of Twelve, which suggests that we first notice and remember three things about people we meet.

1. The first twelve inches from your shoulders up

2. The first twelve steps a person takes

3. The first twelve words a person speaks

The First Rule

The first rule of twelve tells you that people notice everything above the shoulders of your jacket: your tie, tie knot, how well-pressed or creased your collar is, the length and neatness of your hair, your complexion, your eyes, and your smile. Remember to smile, as this is a key factor in creating that critical first impression.



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The Second Rule

The second rule of twelve tells you to enter a room with confidence and to look as if you both have a reason to be there and are happy to be there. Smile and extend your hand. Keep your shoulders back and stand up straight. If you carry a briefcase or purse, keep it in your left hand so that the right hand is ready to shake hands.

The Third Rule

The third rule concerns your first twelve words, which should always include a thank you of some kind. For instance, you could thank the manager or client for taking the time to see you, indicate that you're glad you could finally get together, or mention that you've been looking forward to meeting the person for a long time. Your words should invite the other person to respond in kind, for instance, by saying, “You're welcome.” This approach puts everyone at ease and opens negotiations on a friendly footing. Remember, first impressions are lasting, so give those first twelve inches, twelve steps, and twelve words everything you've got.

Do You Look Approachable?

Far more important than how much our suit cost and whether our shoes are polished, is whether or not we look approachable. Again, if we are to look approachable, we smile, make eye contact, shake hands with a good but not overpowering grip, show interest in the other person, and call them by name.

What Your Appearance Says

We were inherently more respectful of each other in the past, and devoted more time to the niceties of getting to know someone and explore common ground. In today’s world, we aren’t willing to invest the time and effort to get to know one another. We make appraisals, and assumptions, and form decisions, all within the space of a few seconds.



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Research tells us people determine seven things from your appearance.

Income

Education Level

Social Position

Sophistication

Success

Moral Character

Trustworthiness What does your appearance say?

The Handshake

During the important first few minutes of a new relationship, a handshake is usually the only body contact between two people. It can communicate warmth, a genuine concern for the other person, and an image of either strength or gentleness. It can also communicate indifference and weakness. Developing a professional handshake is perhaps one of the most valuable business skills you can ever cultivate. The message you communicate with your handshake is determined by five factors. Degree of firmness Your grip should be firm rather than weak. However, you don’t want your handshake to be painful to the other person. Consideration is appreciated. Be especially considerate if you are shaking hands with someone in a receiving line who has many more hands to shake, someone who is wearing a lot of rings, or who is obviously elderly and perhaps fragile. Dryness of hand We all prefer to shake a hand that is dry. While you typically don’t want to obviously dry your hands before greeting someone, this is perfectly acceptable if you have been holding a cold glass. Similarly, if you are at the buffet table and have been eating, it is expected that you would wipe your hand on your napkin before extending it to be shaken. Depth of grip A handshake is palm to palm. Generally you will place your hand so that the web between your thumb and forefinger meets the web of the other person’s hand briefly. Your hand remains perpendicular. If your palm is facing up, this may be construed as a sign of submissiveness. Similarly, if your palm is on top, it can be seen as a sign of aggressiveness.



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Duration of grip The perfect handshake is about three seconds. You can gently pump once or twice but this is not necessary. Then pull back your hand, even if you are still talking. Eye contact While this will vary from culture to culture, in most countries we expect the person shaking our hand to make eye contact with us. Note: Grasping the top of the other person’s hand with your other hand, so that their hand is enveloped in yours, may very well signal warmth and affection. However, this may be seen as patronising and too familiar for an introductory handshake. Save this handshake for a meeting with an old friend.

Dress for Success

Not long ago, everyone from the most seasoned professionals to entry-level employees had a common understanding of appropriate business attire. Thanks to the creation of the khaki culture and increasing popularity of casual Friday and business casual dress, it's no longer that simple. Dressing for negotiations can be particularly difficult. Do Your Research Find out what the dress code is for your opponent’s organisation and what they typically wear. Don’t dress exactly like them, but try to match the standard. Don’t try to out-dress them – flashy clothing will take the focus away from your message. What Does Your Appearance Say? Let’s say you work for a non-profit organisation and you meet with the mayor to negotiate how much money your organisation will get in the next budget. If you wear a $3,000 suit, that probably won’t convey a good impression. Be aware of the message your appearance is sending. Consider Your Work Environment It’s always best to err on the conservative side and dress business casual. It's a sign of professional respect, and you can save the jeans for a time when you'll be in the office all day.



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Professional Dress for Women

If your company’s idea of business casual isn’t quite jeans and sweaters, pantsuits are the answer. Not only are they trendy; they can be dressed up or down. Choose a dark, natural shade like black, navy, brown, or grey, and opt for pants with a bootleg cut. Pair them with a light sweater, and you’ll be ready to go from your desk to a client meeting without a second thought. Jewelry, scarves, and other accessories will add a polished touch to any outfit. Remember: less is more.

Professional Dress for Men

A sport coat instantly creates a pulled together look, especially in a business casual environment. It’s also an ideal choice for client meetings or presentations. Pair up a black, navy blue, or dark grey blazer with khakis or dark wool pants. In addition to traditional dress slacks, khakis, Dockers, corduroys, wool flannel, and linen slacks are also appropriate for the office, either with or without a blazer. Casual button-down oxford shirts are a great alternative to dress shirts, with or without a tie. Skip the loud prints and reserve plaids for more casual times. Basic white, chambray, or pinstripes are the safest best. Shoes are an afterthought for many men, but unkempt footwear can ruin an otherwise polished look. Oxfords and loafers in brown or black are a good match for khakis or corduroys.

The Skill of Making Small Talk

Small talk has a bad reputation. Sometimes we think of it as the poor cousin to a “real” conversation. However, without small talk, many of us will never get to those “real” conversations. Small talk helps us put others at ease and make them comfortable. Small talk breaks the ice and goes a long way toward furthering a relationship. Not only is it crucial to getting negotiation off to a good start, the ability to make small talk can help us build business, develop our networking skills, get friends, maintain relationships, and even find us jobs. Conversations are much easier to start if you are a multi-topic person. Try to stay abreast of current events and to replenish your conversational larder as often as you do your refrigerator.



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Making Connections

Making Small Talk

When you are out with a gathering of friends, do you find it easy to just chat away without thinking of what to say next?

How about when you get thrown in with a group of people you don’t know?

For most of us, the second type of conversation is much more difficult. Why? What happens?

Where can you get some good conversation openers?



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What are some ways you have successfully started conversations with people you didn’t know?

What doesn’t work?



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Session Seven: Getting off to a Good Start

The ultimate goal of negotiation is to reach an agreement. If you can start the negotiation process off with a discussion about something that you agree about – even if it’s just the weather – your negotiations will likely be much more productive. In this session, we study how the getting off on the right foot by with some friendly pleasantries is an integral part of the negotiation process.

Common Ground

Some usual examples for gaining common ground in the interest of a solid foundation include:

If you are involved in labour negotiations for a workplace, there are often people on both sides of the table who work for the company. The common ground is maintaining the viability and integrity of a company. A functioning company needs people to work, and those people need to be paid.

In the case of a divorce, common ground can be a shared property that must be divided or protecting the interests of shared children.

In environmental or peace issues, common ground might be the fact that all of that parties live and work within the community and are, therefore, interested in looking after the places where they live.

Exercise: Ground Rules

Another good way to establish common ground is to set out some preliminary rules for the negotiation. This is also known as meta-negotiation, or negotiating about how you will negotiate. Even if the negotiation involves just two people, it may be helpful to write these rules down and post them where you can both see them. What might be some good ground rules?



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Session Eight: Exchanging Information

Once the warm and fuzzies are over, it’s time to get down to the meat and potatoes of the negotiation. In this session, we begin with a general knowledge quiz about some common challenges followed by a closer look at the effective ways we can meet these challenges.

Outline Positions

Start by outlining your position and having the other party outline their position. If you’ve identified a zone of possible agreement (ZOPA) that gives a solution that you’re happy with, you will want to outline that as well. Although this process sounds simple, you may encounter challenges even at this stage.

Exercise: Common Challenges

The following is a list of common challenges. Briefly describe ways you might approach the situation, and afterward we’ll follow up with what the experts say. Your opponent appears to have made up their mind.

Your opponent is in a bad mood.



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Your opponent keeps interrupting you.

Your opponent becomes emotional.

Your opponent keeps using words you don’t understand.

Your opponent is using unfriendly words.

Your opponent’s body language appears unfriendly.



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Handling the Challenges

Your opponent appears to have made up their mind

You’re perfectly within your right to say, “It seems to me that you’ve already made up your mind about this topic. Am I incorrect in feeling that way?” If you’ve established a ground rule to listen to each other’s point of view, remind them of that agreement.

Your opponent is in a bad mood

If your opponent is in a bad mood as soon as they walk in the door, and their mood doesn’t improve after establishing common ground and making small talk, you might want to suggest that you reschedule the meeting.

Your opponent keeps interrupting you

Make sure that you’re not the source of the problem and give him or her plenty of time to speak. Leave a few seconds of silence after they finish speaking, before you start. If they keep interrupting, however, politely say, “OK, hold that thought, and let me give you my perspective so that we can see how we can merge the two,” and continue to make your point. Some negotiators interrupt as an attempt to gain control, so it’s important that you dig in your heels. Once again, if you’ve established ground rules, you can refer back to them.

Your opponent becomes emotional

Don’t let your opponent’s emotions affect you. Finish what you’re saying, and then call for a break. After the break, summarise your points and continue on. If your opponent continues their emotional display, suggest that you reschedule the meeting.

Your opponent keeps using words you don’t understand

Never pretend to understand something. If your opponent uses jargon, make a note of the term and ask them what it means when they’re done speaking. Note down the meaning, too, for future reference.



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Your opponent is using unfriendly words

Most importantly, don’t let unkind words affect you. If you find yourself getting upset or angry, take a break to cool off and regain your composure. Then, say to them, “I know you’re a fair and reasonable person, and I know you want to reach a solution just as I do. I think we’re more likely to reach a solution that works for both of us if we treat each other with respect.”

Your opponent’s body language appears unfriendly

Body language is very subjective. Let’s say that your opponent keeps their arms crossed during your entire discussion. You feel that he’s being unfriendly and unreceptive to your statements. During a break, however, you notice a large soup stain on the front of his shirt! So, unless your opponent is shaking their fist at you (in which case see “Your opponent is using unfriendly words”), note their body language and respond accordingly, but don’t say anything to them.



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Session Nine: The Bargaining Stage

Perhaps one of the most critical phases of the selling process, the bargaining stage comprises many processes that must be rehearsed in order that they are executed effectively and consistently. In this session, we cover effective bargaining tactics that you can use to help you relay information and bargain.

Six Techniques for Success

Remember that you must be yourself and be natural when negotiating – otherwise, the process just won’t work. Therefore, feel free to adapt these techniques to your style. Make them work for you.

Technique 1: Equalisation

This is one technique that you must use constantly during the negotiation process. For every point your opponent brings up, you must bring up an equally strong point. You can do this in a few ways. Let’s say that you’re negotiating with your boss for a raise. He points out that your last raise was only ten months ago, and most union employees only have a salary review every 18 months. What are your options?

You can disprove him: “I have the company policy here, and it states that salary reviews must take place every 10-20 months.”

You can differentiate yourself from those other employees: “I’ve changed positions twice since then within the company.”

You can bring out your supporting facts: “Other managers at my level have received salary reviews every six months.”

You can make his comment irrelevant: “I’m at the management level, which means I’m not part of the union.”



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Technique 2: Building a Case

Since you’ve put so much hard work into preparing your facts, you should have solid information to back up your point; a “Salary needs review” for example.

You’ll reveal these supporting points, slowly, one at a time, particularly if your bargaining session takes place over several meetings. Make sure you sandwich weak points between strong ones; you want to start and end on a high note.

Technique 3: “It’s too bad…”

This is a great technique to use when the major points have been settled but a few minor points remain. Let’s say that your boss has given you the raise but you still need to work out your schedule and holiday time. You can say, “I’m really glad we’ve resolved the salary issue. It’s too bad that we can’t settle this scheduling problem and get this whole thing wrapped up.” This establishes common ground and sets the stage for a solution.

Salary needs review

Last review was 11

months ago

Other managers

have received increases

Policy states reviews must

take place every 10-20

months



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Technique 4: Wear Them Down

This is a good technique to use when your position and the opponent’s position seem so far apart that no resolution is possible. Let’s say that you’ve found your dream home, but your budget is $250,000. The asking price is $500,000. At the first meeting, you reveal that assessments have dropped sharply in the past year – the assessed value is $300,000. They drop their price to $350,000. At the next meeting, you explain that $50,000 worth of landscaping and repairs will need to be done. That brings the price down to $300,000. At the third meeting, you provide a report from an environmental company that states it will cost $10,000 to clean up an oil heater spill. The sellers are quite anxious to sell, and they’re tired of all of these meetings, so they reduce their asking price to $275,000. It’s still not quite in your budget, but much more reasonable than their original offer!

Technique 5: Mix It Up

This technique is similar to the previous one. With this method, you provide a variety of information and jump around between topics, without resolving any of them. Essentially, you’re trying to confuse the opponent.

Technique 6: Bridge the Gap

Once again, common ground can help you bargain for what you want. Let’s continue with our house buying example. You could say, “It really is tough trying to sell your house, isn’t it? Man, I’ve got mine on the market right now so I can buy your property, and it’s a nightmare!” The sellers will likely agree with you, establishing sympathy, empathy, trust, and common ground.



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Case Study: A Much Needed Holiday

Read through the following case study and answer the question on the next page.

Background

You are an employee in a unit of twenty people in the Events Management Department of a large organisation. You have been with the organisation six years, and you have key skills shared by only two other people, Julie Smith and Hamish Ferguson. Today there has been a directive from the General Manager that in the future no one will be allowed to take more than four days at any one time over the busy holiday period, December 15th to January 6th. For this year only there will be a very limited number of exceptions made to this rule, but only on the most pressing grounds. You intend to try for one of these, and as the decision rests with the branch manager, you have asked to talk with your manager about your holidays. You have good reason for wanting seven days, and you are consequently annoyed about this rather high-handed decision. Your widowed father lives with his sister on the West coast and seven days is just barely long enough for a brief visit with him. You haven’t seen him in two years, so you believe you have a legitimate case. The trouble is, you have already booked and paid for your flight. It is a very cheap charter and you can’t get your money back if you cancel now. You booked it before you put in your holiday request. You knew you shouldn’t have done this but the price was too good to resist and you had to make a decision on the spot. This happened a few days ago and you haven’t gotten around to putting your request in until now. Obviously this decision that the General Manager has taken is a blow, but the concession about exceptions seems to offer you a way out. You intend to be away December 26 to January 2, inclusive. Your ‘ace in the hole’ is that, a few months ago, the unit had an unexpectedly heavy workload, and you worked a lot of overtime—far more than you wanted. In fact, though the money was welcome, it put a real strain on your social life. But you didn’t complain once you saw that the organisation and more particularly your manager were in a bind and needed your help. You think the commitment you showed then must have built up your credit and you intend to call that in now.



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Discussion Question

Using any or all of the techniques discussed in this session, describe how you would approach the situation and secure your requested holiday time.



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Session Ten: Inventing Options for Mutual Gain

All too often negotiators end up like the proverbial sisters who quarrelled over an orange. After they finally agreed to divide the orange in half, the first sister took her half, ate the fruit, and threw away the peel, while the other threw away the fruit and used the peel from her half in baking a cake. In this session, we reveal four common hurdles that negotiators encounter and strategies for overcoming them in the interest of mutual gain.

The Lack of Agreement

Frequently, negotiators leave money on the table. In other words, they fail to reach agreement when they might have, or the agreement they do reach could have been better for each side. Too many negotiations end up with half an orange for each side instead of the whole fruit for one and the whole peel for the other. Why?

The Need for Options

As valuable as it is to have many options, people involved in a negotiation rarely sense a need for them. In a dispute, people usually believe that they know the right answer and that their view should prevail. They are equally likely to believe that their offer is reasonable and should be adopted. All available answers appear to lie along a straight line between their position and yours. Often the only creative thinking shown is to suggest splitting the difference.

The Four Obstacles

In most negotiations there are four major obstacles that inhibit the inventing of an abundance of options:

1. Premature judgment 2. Searching for the single answer 3. The assumption of a fixed pie 4. Thinking that “solving their problem is their problem.”

In order to overcome these constraints, you need to understand them.



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Obstacle 1: Premature Judgment

Inventing options does not come naturally. Not inventing is the normal state of affairs, even when you are outside a stressful negotiation. Nothing is so harmful to inventing than your inner critic waiting to pounce on the drawbacks of any new idea. Judgment hinders imagination. Under the pressure of a forthcoming negotiation, your critical sense is likely to be sharper. Practical negotiation appears to call for practical thinking, not wild ideas. However, as a negotiator, you will of necessity do much inventing by yourself. It is not easy. By definition, inventing new ideas requires you to think about things that are not already in your mind. You should therefore consider arranging a brainstorming session with a few colleagues. Such a session can effectively separate inventing from deciding.

Brainstorming for Wild Ideas

In a brainstorming session, people need not fear looking foolish since wild ideas are explicitly encouraged. And in the absence of the other side, negotiators need not worry about disclosing confidential information or having an idea taken as a serious commitment. There is no one right way to run a brainstorming session. Rather, you should tailor it to your needs and resources. In doing so, you may find it useful to consider the following guidelines.

Before Brainstorming

Define your purpose. Think of what you would like to walk out of the meeting with.

Choose the participants. The group should normally be large enough to provide a stimulating interchange, yet small enough to encourage both individual participation and inventing. This usually means between five and eight people.

Change the environment. Select a time and place that distinguishes the session as much as possible from regular discussions. The more different a brainstorming session seems from a normal meeting, the easier it is for participants to suspend judgment.

Design an informal atmosphere. What does it take for you and others to relax? It may be talking over a drink, meeting at a holiday lodge, or simply taking off your tie and jacket during the meeting.

Choose a facilitator. Someone at the meeting needs to facilitate, to keep the meeting on track, to make sure everyone gets a chance to speak, to enforce any ground rules, and to stimulate discussion by asking questions.

During Brainstorming



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Seat the participants facing the problem side-by-side. Physically sitting side- by-side can reinforce the mental attitude of tackling a common problem together. People sitting side by side in a semicircle of chairs facing a flip chart, for example, tend to respond to the problem depicted on the chart.

Clarify the ground rules, including the no-criticism rule. If the participants do not all know each other, the meeting begins with introductions all around, followed by clarification of the ground rules. Outlaw negative criticism of any kind.

Once the purpose of the meeting is clear, let your imaginations go. Try to come up with a long list of ideas, approaching the question from every conceivable angle.

Record the ideas in full view. Recording ideas on large sheets of paper gives the group a tangible sense of collective achievement, it reinforces the no-criticism rule, it reduces the tendency to repeat, and it helps stimulate other ideas.

After Brainstorming

Relax the no-criticism rule. This will bring the most promising ideas to the surface. You are still not at the stage of deciding; you are merely nominating ideas worth developing further. Circle those ideas that members of the group think are best.

Select an idea. Take one promising idea and invent ways to make it better and more realistic, as well as ways to carry it out. The task at this stage is to make the idea as attractive as you can. Preface constructive criticism with: “What I like best about that idea is…” or, “Might it be better if…?”

Create an ideas list. Before you break up, draw up a selective and improved list of ideas from the session and set up a time for deciding which of these ideas to advance in your negotiation and how.



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Obstacle 2: Searching For the Single Answer

If the first impediment to creative thinking is premature criticism, the second is premature closure. By looking from the outset for the single best answer, you are likely to short-circuit a wiser decision-making process in which you select from a large number of possible answers.

Consider Brainstorming with the Opposition

Although it may be more difficult than brainstorming with your own side, brainstorming with people from the other side can also prove extremely valuable. It is more difficult because of the increased risk that you will say something that prejudices your interests despite the rules established for a brainstorming session. You may disclose confidential information inadvertently or lead the other side to mistake an option you devise for an offer. Nevertheless, joint brainstorming sessions have some advantages: producing ideas which take into account the interests of all those involved, creating a climate of joint problem-solving, and educating each side about the concerns of the other.

Cover Your Back

To protect yourself when brainstorming with the other side, distinguish the brainstorming session explicitly from a negotiating session where people state official views and speak on the record. People are so accustomed to meeting for the purpose of reaching agreement that any other purpose needs to be clearly stated.

Broaden your Options

Even with the best of intentions, participants in a brainstorming session are likely to operate on the assumption that they are really looking for the one best answer, trying to find a needle in a haystack by picking up every blade of hay. At this stage in a negotiation, however, you should not be looking for the right path. You are developing room to negotiate. Room can be made only by having a substantial number of markedly different ideas, ideas on which you and the other side can build later in the negotiation, and among which you can then jointly choose.

Look Through the Eyes of Different Experts

Another way to generate multiple options is to examine your problem from the perspective of different professions and disciplines. If you are negotiating a conference space, invent options that might occur to an external customer.



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In thinking up possible solutions to a dispute over custody of a child, for example, look at the problem as it might be seen by an educator, a banker, a psychiatrist, a civil rights lawyer, a minister, a nutritionist, or a doctor.

Obstacle 3: The Assumption of a Fixed Pie

The third major block to creative problem-solving lies in the assumption of a fixed pie: the less for you, the more for me. Rarely, if ever, is this assumption true. Both sides could be worse off. Even apart from a shared interest in avoiding joint loss, there almost always exists the possibility of joint gain. This may take the form of developing a mutually advantageous relationship, or of satisfying the interests of each side with a creative solution. In this situation, each side sees the situation as essentially either/or: either I get what is in dispute or you do. A negotiation often appears to be a fixed-sum game; $100 more for you on the price of a car means $100 less for me. Why bother to invent if all the options are obvious and I can satisfy you only at my own expense?

Obstacle 4: Thinking that "Solving the problem is their problem"

A final obstacle to inventing realistic options lies in each side's concern with only its own immediate interests. For a negotiator to reach an agreement that meets their own self-interest they need to develop a solution which also appeals to the self-interest of the other. Short-sighted self-concern thus leads a negotiator to develop only partisan positions, partisan arguments, and one-sided solutions.



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Overcoming the Obstacles

There are some easy ways to overcome these challenges and invent options towards mutual gain.

Make Their Decision Easy

Since success for you in a negotiation depends upon the other side making a decision you want, you should do what you can to make that decision an easy one. Rather than make things difficult for the other side, you want to confront them with a choice that is as painless as possible. Impressed with the merits of their own case, people usually pay too little attention to ways of advancing their case by taking care of interests on the other side. To overcome the short-sightedness that results from looking too narrowly at one's immediate self-interest, you will want to put yourself in their shoes. Without some option that appeals to them, there is likely to be no agreement at all.

Whose Shoes?

Are you trying to influence a single negotiator, an absent boss, or a committee or other collective decision-making body? For example, instead of trying to persuade the insurance company to make a decision, it is wiser to focus your efforts on getting one claims agent to make a recommendation. However complex the other side's decision-making process may seem, you will understand it better if you pick one person (probably the person with whom you are dealing) and see how the problem looks from his or her point of view.

What Decision?

Most of the time you will want a promise or an agreement. Take pencil and paper in hand and try drafting a few possible agreements. It is never too early in a negotiation to start drafting as an aid to clear thinking. Prepare multiple versions, starting with the simplest possible. What are some terms that the other party could sign, terms that would be attractive to them as well as to you? Can you reduce the number of people whose approval would be required? Can you formulate an agreement that will be easy for them to implement? The other side will take into account the difficulties in carrying out an agreement; you should too.



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Finding the Precedent

Few things facilitate a decision as much as precedent. Search for it. Look for a decision or statement that the other side may have made in a similar situation, and try to base a proposed agreement on it. This provides an objective standard for your request and makes it easier for them to go along. Recognising their probable desire to be consistent, and thinking about what they have done or said, will help you generate options acceptable to you that also take their point of view into account.

Identify Shared Interests

As a negotiator, you will almost always want to look for solutions that will leave the other side satisfied as well. If the customer feels cheated in a purchase, the store owner has also failed; she may lose a customer and her reputation may suffer. An outcome in which the other side gets absolutely nothing is worse for you than one which leaves them mollified. In almost every case, your satisfaction depends to a degree on making the other side sufficiently content with an agreement to want to live up to it. Three points about shared interests are worth remembering:

First, shared interests lie latent in every negotiation. They may not be immediately obvious. Ask yourself: Do we have a shared interest in preserving our relationship? What opportunities lie ahead for cooperation and mutual benefit? What costs would we bear if negotiations broke off? Are there common principles, like a fair price, that we both can respect?

Second, shared interests are opportunities, not godsends. To be of use, you need to make something out of them. It helps to make a shared interest explicit and to formulate it as a shared goal. In other words, make it concrete and future-oriented.

Third, stressing your shared interests can make the negotiation smoother and more amicable. Passengers in a lifeboat afloat in the middle of the ocean with limited rations will subordinate their differences over food in pursuit of their shared interest in getting to shore.



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Making Connections

Overcoming the Obstacles

Think back to a situation where things didn’t go as smoothly as you would have liked. Briefly describe it and identify how you could have used one or more of the strategies described to overcome the obstacle(s) and achieve greater gains for all parties.



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Session Eleven: Getting Past No and Getting to Yes

Maybe one of the most difficult tasks for a salesperson is the hurdle of overcoming objections and coming up with rebuttals. In this session, we investigate ways of overcoming the challenge of rejections by turning that “no” into a “yes”.

Getting Past No

Negotiation expert William Ury has six strategies for getting someone past saying “no” – and therefore getting them on the road to “yes.”

Go to the Balcony

Imagine yourself as a spectator to the negotiation. This helps you control any emotions that you have (and we all have emotions, we’re human) and it may help you see alternatives that you hadn’t considered. It can also be a useful way to evaluate your strategy.

Step to Their Side

Now, move into the negotiation and onto your opponent’s side. Where do they see their strengths and weaknesses? Where do they see yours? How can you modify your negotiating approach to offer them what they want, and still get what you want?

Invite them to Step to your Side

Invite them to see the problem the way you see it and to step into your shoes. Or, phrase the problem as you think a third party might see it (such as a lawyer or your spouse). Another powerful tactic is to do the unexpected. One way to do this is to ask for their advice on the matter. This gets both parties thinking outside the box.



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Build a Golden Bridge

Remember, at the very least you want to leave relationships undamaged – ideally, you want to improve them. Act accordingly. Don’t ever say, “I told you so!” or mock them if they retreat from their position. Remember that you’re building a winnable solution together. This comes back to building common ground, which we discussed earlier. Set the tone by giving them something (no matter how small) they can say “yes” to.

Make it Difficult to Say “No”

Show them where you’re coming from – give them your facts and figures (slowly, using the building block technique that we discussed earlier) and educate them. Remember to equalise their points to help build your case. This is also the time to share your BATNA or ZOPA, if they are strong. You may also want to point out your WATNA (and theirs, if you know it) to highlight the cost of not reaching an agreement.

Use High-yield Questions

Communication is the key to successful negotiation. Keep your questions emotionally neutral and non-judgmental. Bring down their defenses with open and leading questions.



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Breaking the Impasse

On the road from “No” to “Yes”, you’re likely to reach one (if not several) impasses, where one or both of you are digging in your heels and you’re not making progress.

First, take a break so that you both have time to regroup and re-energise. Then, try these strategies.

Identify Hidden Interests

Is there a piece of the puzzle that you’re missing? Let’s say you’re negotiating you’re your boss for a raise. Perhaps he has a special project that he has a budget for, and he’s looking for someone to take on the responsibility. You wouldn’t mind doing some side work for him. Voila – a mutual gain solution!

Deal with Unrealistic Expectations

Although both parties probably won’t be on the same page at the beginning of the negotiation, you need to be in the same book to reach a successful solution. If you want to achieve world peace, you’re probably not going to be successful when negotiating with someone who believes war is a solution.

Use Brainstorming Techniques

Creative thinking can help both sides think outside the box to achieve the best solution. Some techniques include:

Look at the problem from a different perspective.

Paraphrase the other side’s position.

Review the information presented so far, and list it on a flip chart or whiteboard.

Focus on Areas of Agreement.

Try to establish common ground – what do you agree on so far? You can also agree to disagree on the particular stalling point for now and move onto another issue.



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Getting to Yes

Of course, William Ury also has some strategies for what to do once you break the impasse and get to “yes.”

Avoid Positional Bargaining

We talked about positional bargaining earlier. This is where each side takes a position, argues for it, and makes concessions to reach compromise. This traditional style of negotiating rarely results in win-win solutions.

Separate the Person from the Problem

Remember to maintain control and emotional detachment. For example, if you’re negotiating with your boss for a raise, there’s no point in getting angry with him because he’s negotiating – after all, he probably has a budget, and he probably has someone to answer to for his expenses.

Focus on Interests

Keep a positive focus during the bargaining phase. Don’t get distracted by emotions, games, and tricks. Keep your eye on the ball – your objective. This is where it helps to have your key information (including your WATNA, BATNA, ZOPA, main objective, and supporting points) on a reference sheet.

Work toward a Mutual Gain Solution

We also talked about mutual gains earlier. Look for a solution that benefits both parties. Make this intention clear – it will build good will, trust, and common ground. Remember, you can do this by:

Making their decision easy

Identifying whose shoes should you be stepping into

Identifying what decision you are making

Identifying shared interests

Insist on Using Objective Criteria

You must have objective criteria to help evaluate solutions. “A solution that makes everyone happy,” is not objective – how do you define what happy is? (Besides, some people are never happy!)



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Making Connections

How Do You Get to “Yes”?

What are some other ideas you can think of for getting to “yes”?

From your experience, describe a time when you managed to negotiate past an impasse.



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Session Twelve: Dealing with Negative Emotions

Sometimes it is unavoidable that you have to deal with the negative emotions of others. However this should not be the cause of too much consternation and we should not endeavour to internalise these emotions. Perhaps that person is just having an off day. In this session, we learn the hallmarks of negative emotions, and discover strategies for dealing with them when they arise.

Defusing the Bomb

There are three natural and instinctive reactions to negative responses:

1. we want to strike back 2. we want to give in 3. we want to break off negotiations

No matter which response we choose, we don’t get what we want from the process.

Developing a Mental Detachment

Think about how we can develop a mental attitude of detachment. Disney does this – during difficult discussions, they ask employees to consider themselves as characters playing a role. They can then distance themselves from natural impulses and emotions, and it helps them not take things personally.

Tough Tactics

There are also some tough tactics people may try. Let’s take a look at the more common of these. Stonewalling Stonewalling means to stop communicating, refuse to answer questions, or co-operate. In order to get around the stonewall, you could ignore it, reinterpret it, or take it seriously but test it.



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Attacking What are the responses that you can try? You could:

Deflect

Ignore

Reframe Dishonesty Your opponent may also try to lie to you or to trick you in some way.

Your Responses

If you are alert to these possibilities, you have the opportunity to respond by:

Challenging them

Asking them some questions that can clarify or expose the deception

Play dumb and see what happens

Make a request Always know your personal hot buttons. When you are aware of them, you can control your emotions more effectively. Remember the results you are after.



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Defusing Tips

Knowing how to defuse negative emotion can come in handy often, whether you are in the midst of negotiations or not. Here are some tips:

It helps to use the other person’s name.

Listen and allow the other person to vent and get their feelings out.

Don’t interrupt. This is not only rude, but also a real turn-off. (If someone is venting, a good rule of thumb is not to interrupt until the other party starts repeating themself.)

Try not to use red flag words like “but,” “always,” and, “never.”

Give them a token or early concession of something you consider less important to you, but may be important to the other party.

Apologise for the situation, not your action. Agree with the other party using a sentence like, “From your perspective, you are absolutely right.” Then they might be willing to see things from your perspective; the other side of the story.

Point out where you agree more than you point out differences.

Build their self-esteem. Give them sincere praise on what they do well.

Prepare three questions for which they will have to say “yes.”

Make sure your words and your body language are consistent. Don’t say, “Take your time giving me an answer,” and then show signs of impatience.

Use more “I” than “you” statements.

People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. Put yourself in their shoes.



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Exercise: Dealing with the Opposition

Here’s the situation: You are a department supervisor. Person B represents an employee in your department. Together, you must agree on a place to hold the annual department luncheon and what sort of luncheon it will be (buffet, brown-bag, or order in). In trying to organise the event, you encounter opposition from some notoriously difficult subordinates. For each difficult Person B in the list below, come up with a way you might deal with the situation given the tactics described in this session.

Person B Your Strategy

Stubborn Sam/ Samantha

Stonewalling Sharon/ Stewart

Emotional Emma/Evan



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Person B Your Strategy

Attacking Anna/ Andrew

Indifferent Ingrid/ Ishmael

Power-Hungry Paul/Paula

Angry Adam/ Abigail

Negative Nancy/ Nathan



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Session Thirteen: Moving from Bargaining to Closing

So how do you know when bargaining is over and it’s time to move to the closing phase? In this session, we reveal some simple procedures to remember and follow which will ensure the sale in nearly every situation.

Knowing When to Close

Ask yourself, do you truly think your opponent will say yes? If you’re not sure, keep bargaining. You may want to summarise your last counter offer, or ask your opponent for more details on their last offer. Body language can be your biggest key. If your opponent has open body language (arms at their sides, not covering their face, looking at you, and leaning towards you) then this likely means they’re receptive to your position. If their body language looks defensive (with arms and legs crossed, a hand on their face, and leaning away from you), keep reiterating your points until their posture becomes more open.

The Closing Procedure

When the time is right, follow this simple procedure.

Let’s say you’re negotiating to buy a house. You feel that the seller is ready to close. You might say something like, “I’ll call the bank to get the mortgage details finalised. Would you sign the offer papers on this line? I’m agreeing to purchase your property for $100,000, and we’ve agreed that the transfer taxes will be paid by you.” Here, we are assuming action, suggesting an action, and summarising the deal.

What NOT to Do



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Don’t ever beg, plead, bully, or give your opponent time to think the deal over. They will take advantage of that time, come back to the table with new positions, and you’ll be back to square one. Also, don’t raise additional questions or points during your closing procedure – this returns you to the bargaining process. (Of course, if it turns out that you’re trying to close prematurely, this will be inevitable.)

Formal vs. Informal Agreements

For simple negotiations, a verbal agreement will probably be sufficient. You will, however, want to date and sign any notes that you took and any documentation you gathered and file them away for reference. It’s also good to send a follow-up letter outlining the terms of the negotiation and get a signed receipt.

Tips for Closing Complex Negotiations

For more complex negotiations, written documents will likely be involved. If this is the case, here are some tips to make sure the closing process is fair to you.

We strongly recommend that you use a lawyer. It’s worth the investment.

If possible, have your lawyer prepare the document to be signed. If you are taking this route, make sure you have all the necessary paperwork with you when you go to the negotiation.

Read the document over thoroughly, clause by clause. Ask about anything that is unclear to you.

Ensure that you and your opponent have signed, original copies of all documents. Keep your copies in a safe place.



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Making Connections

Are You Ready to Close?

Looking at your experiences, what are some other ways that might indicate whether a potential buyer is ready to commit, so that you should start the closing procedure?



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Session Fourteen: The Closing Process

For some, closing a sale comes instinctually, however the closing process can be described as a pseudoscience. In this session, we look at individual components of the closing process as well as the types of outcomes we can expect to encounter along the way.

The Outcomes

In general, there are three possible outcomes to a negotiation:

1. Lose-lose 2. Lose-win 3. Win-win.

Lose-Lose

Lose-lose outcomes occur as a result of negotiating by avoidance, smoothing, and/or compromise. No one achieves their true desires. It’s possible that the negotiation agreement will not be enforced and that the relationship will be negatively affected. Avoidance Avoidance is an extreme form of non-attention. Everyone pretends that conflict doesn't really exist, and hopes that it will simply go away. For example, the passive negotiator may simply not bring up their key points. Smoothing Smoothing plays down differences between the negotiating parties, and highlights similarities and areas of agreement. Peaceful coexistence through recognition of common interests is the goal. Smoothing may ignore the real essence of a given negotiation. Compromise "Let's compromise" is a phrase frequently heard in a group setting. The classic example occurs whenever representatives of unions and management meet to prepare new labour contracts. Compromise occurs when accommodations are made such that each party to the conflict gives up something of value to the other. As a result, neither party gains its full desires, and conditions for future conflicts are established. Although a negotiation may appear to be settled for a while through compromise, there will likely be the need for re-negotiation at some future time.



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Lose-Win

In lose-win negotiations, one party achieves its desires at the expense and to the exclusion of the other party's desires. This may result from competition or as a result of authoritative command. Each of these strategies also fails to address the root causes of the negotiation and tends to suppress the desires of at least one of the conflicting parties. As a result, future conflicts over the same issues are likely.

Win-Win

Win-win negotiations are achieved by confrontation of the issues and the use of problem-solving to reconcile differences. This positive approach involves recognition by all conflicting parties that something is wrong and needs attention. When success is achieved in problem-solving, the conflict has truly been resolved. Win-win conditions eliminate reasons for continuing or resurrecting the conflict, since nothing has been avoided or suppressed. All relevant issues are raised and openly discussed.

The Win-Win Test

The ultimate test for a win-win solution is whether or not the conflicting parties are willing to say to each other:

“I want a solution which achieves your goals and my goals and is acceptable to both of us.”

"It is our collective responsibility to be open and honest about facts, opinions, and feelings."



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Making Connections

Exercise: Sustainable Agreement

Before we move on in the session, take a moment to describe your thoughts on what is meant by the term “Sustainable Agreement”.

Building a Sustainable Agreement

What Is a Sustainable Agreement?

In this age of complex life and work arrangements, a sustainable agreement can be said to reflect the reality of the business. An agreement cannot be a rigid reflection of ineffective negotiations; rather, it must reflect the reality of business and economic cycles, industries, and real issues that people face. It must also reflect the multiple aspects of the stakeholders who both provide input, and are affected by the results. An agreement also cannot focus on one aspect of the business when the business impacts other industries, cultures, or linguistic groups.

Developing a Sustainable Agreement

In developing a sustainable agreement, the partners must ensure that, first of all, the organisations that they negotiate on behalf of are interested in having an agreement. Partners must also ensure that negotiating organisations will enforce and take part in the terms of that agreement. If the agreement cannot stand on its own, and the parties who sign it refuse to use it, then the paper it is printed on is useless.



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Getting Everyone’s Perspective

A sustainable agreement really does incorporate feedback from all stakeholders. Although we will never always agree with other people, and although we can write an agreement much more quickly than we can negotiate the terms of one, an agreement is just that, an agreement. Gathering perspective is something that can take place throughout the negotiation process. It begins in the research phase, where the negotiator considers the needs of the members of an organisation in conjunction with the strategic vision and mission of the negotiation. This does not mean that everyone will get what they want in an agreement; rather, it means that all points of view are considered. There is no point in entering negotiations and reaching an agreement that ignores a section of stakeholders or breaks the law. Gathering perspective can be a considerable undertaking, depending on the size and scope of the operation. This is one area where outside resources can be utilised (an outside firm conducting employee satisfaction surveys, for example).

Reviewing the Information

Once the information is gathered, the negotiator will consider it with respect to any existing agreements, the needs expressed by the organisation, and the limits of their authority in the negotiation process. Information must be reviewed objectively, and may be reviewed by several parties in order to ensure that the negotiators have analysed the intent of the information correctly. Information that is gathered and reviewed can be shared with stakeholders in the exchange information phase of the negotiations, to allow for brainstorming or problem solving to be completed prior to bargaining.

Outlining the Options

This is another important element of the negotiating process. It is not necessary for negotiators to play mind games with one another. Once one party has a clear understanding of the limitations or impacts of the terms of an agreement, it is efficient to outline options to the negotiating partners. Outlining options effectively can lead to group think situations where we can find consensus, which is what we are really looking for in negotiation. Once the negotiator has outlined the available options, it is also reasonable to start a period of brainstorming toward some of the out of the box ideas that might not have been initially considered.



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Agreement in Principle

Even though one party may think there are no other options available, a creative look at something can often present some kind of alternative that ultimately could be palatable to both parties. When outlining options, we can sometimes find ourselves at the “agreement in principle” part of the process. Having an agreement in principle, however, is not the end of the process. The finer details must still be worked out. If the agreement in principle took considerable effort to achieve, this can be a good time for a celebration of the collaboration that has taken place up to this point.

Getting Consensus

Before an agreement is signed, it is important to have consensus for agreement among the parties. Consensus can be difficult during tough negotiations; generally, the more stakeholders taking part in the process, the more difficult it is to reach consensus. Know that not all people will ever agree on all items, and that you are trying to negotiate the best terms you can. Persuasion, that ability to have people recognise the value in what we are saying, is an exceptionally valuable communication skill for a negotiator.

Secure Commitment

As mentioned previously, you will also have to secure the commitment to actually carry out the agreement. One way to do this is to ask the other party to summarise their understanding of the agreement, and to get it in writing. To clarify, it can help to ask them three questions:

1. Please explain what we have agreed to.

2. Do you agree with what we have agreed to?

3. Are you committed to carry out the agreement? If not, what factors need to be clarified?



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Session Fifteen: A Personal Action Plan

Now that you have completed this course on negotiations, how will you use the things you have learned? Creating a personal action plan can help you to stay on track, and on target. When you take responsibility for yourself and your results, you get things done. This final exercise is a way for you to synthesise the learning that you have done, and to put it into practice. In this session, you will be asked questions to help you plan your short-term and long-term goals. By reflecting on where you currently are and where you want to be, you can solidify, in your mind, what you want your future to hold.

Starting Point

I know where I’m starting from. I know I am already good at these things, and I can do them more often:

I can learn this, I am learning this, and I am doing what I can at this stage as well. I have already learned:



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Short-Term Goals and Rewards

I will start with small steps, especially in areas that are difficult for me. My short-term goals for improvement are:

I promise to congratulate and reward myself every time I do something, no matter how small, to maintain and improve my skills. My rewards will be:

Long-Term Goals

I’m setting myself up for success by choosing long-range goals to work for gradually. My long-term goals for success are as follows:



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Summary

Congratulations! You have completed the course, “Negotiating for Results." In this course, we started by defining negotiation and identifying the phases of negotiation. We then explored the key skills and attributes of a successful negotiator. We looked at how to prepare for the negotiation process (including defining a location, and making a good impression). Next, we focused on bargaining, finding options, and deriving mutual gains. Finally, we looked at how to effectively close the negotiation and find consensus.



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Recommended Reading List

If you are looking for further information on this topic, we have included a recommended reading list below. Cialdini, Robert. Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. Collins, 2006. Fisher, Roger, Bruce Patton, and William Ury. Getting to Yes. Houghton Mifflin, 1992. Gladwell, Malcolm. Blink. Back Bay Books, 2007. Harvard Business School. Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation. Harvard Business

School Publishing, 2003. McCormack, Mark. On Negotiating. Dove Books, 1997. McRae, Bradley. Negotiating and Influencing Skills. Sage Publications, 1997. —. The Seven Strategies of Master Negotiators. McGraw-Hill Ryerson, 2002. Shell, G. Richard. Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People (2nd

Edition). Penguin, 2006. Ury, William. Getting Past No. Bantam, 1993.

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