nami pa, main line forum discussion on ambiguous loss
DESCRIPTION
Ambiguous Loss is the term used to describe loss that is unlike ordinary loss in that ambiguous loss lacks closure, social acknowledgement or ritual, or normal means of coping & grieving.TRANSCRIPT
Created November 2013
Ambiguous LossPresented by NAMI PA, Main Line,
an affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness
Please view the final slide for NAMI PA, Main Line contact information, and links to resource documents and the YouTube video of this presentation.
The Author: Pauline Boss
Pauline Boss, Ph.D., is emeritus professor at the University of Minnesota and was visiting professor at Harvard Medical School, 1995-1996, and Hunter School of Social Work, 2004-2005.
She is best known for groundbreaking research as the pioneer theorist and clinical practitioner of stress reduction for people whose loved ones are ambiguously lost.
A short Pauline Boss video launches after this slide.
What is Ambiguous Loss?
Loss without closure, social acknowledgement or ritual, or normal means of coping & grieving, unlike ordinary loss
2 Types: Type #1 - Physically absent but psychologically present
Type #2 - Physically present but psychologically absent
Stressful, tormenting, confusing, uncontrollable, indeterminate, exhausting, guiltful, conflicting
Video to provide narration for Part I of this presentation is available by clicking on the Ambiguous Loss, Part I link on the final slide.
What is Ambiguous Loss?
Ambiguous loss is a relational disorder and not an individual pathology.
With ambiguous loss, the problem comes from the outside context (situation) and not from your psyche.
It follows, then, that family- and community-based interventions—as opposed to individual therapy—will be less resisted and thus more effective.
– Pauline Boss
T1: Physical Absence
T2: Psychological Absence
Missing loved ones from abduction, military, college
Missing from war, terrorism or natural disaster
Abandonment
Adoption
Immigration
Dementia/Alzheimer’s
Mental Illness
Brain injury
Chronic Illness
Autism
Depression
Addiction
Workaholism
Ambiguous Loss Types & Examples
Ambiguous Loss sufferers are…
denied rituals & acknowledgement of closure & stigmatized
denied emotional & social support by society
expected to carry on as normal amid uncertainty
struggling with dark emotions: grief, doubt, guilt, anger, fear, anxiety, depression, help/hopelessness, isolation, exhaustion, ambivalence, denial & PTSD (without the post)
faced with determining how their loved one fits in the family & tempted with withdrawal
struggling with responsibility boundaries
often immobilized owing to ambiguity of situation
Coping Options
Developing resilience & comfort with ambiguity
Taking refuge in community
Dialectic & narrative therapy: mindfulness & storytelling
Validation of loss
Self-care: rest, recreation, accepting help; humor
Acceptance & letting go; “ease w/ imperfection”
Mastery of the controllable
Meaning making; celebrating what is
Video to provide narration for Part II of this presentation is available by clicking on the Ambiguous Loss, Part II link on the final slide.
Meaning Making Factors
1. Family of origin & early social experiences
2. Spiritual world view: things happen for reason
3. Habits of thinking: optimism v. pessimism
4. View of cause/effect: neat equation v. random
Resilience Guidelines
Finding Meaning
Tempering mastery with acceptance
Reconstructing identity (Psychological Family)
Normalizing Ambivalence (Turning Point)
Revising Attachment
Discovering Hope: “AL doesn’t have to be devastating”
Ambiguous Loss Coping Actions can include:
Labeling the loss
Getting educated
Identifying the loss
Identifying remaining consistencies
Encouraging acceptance/empathy for different views
Facilitating problem solving in a safe holding space
Sharing care
Good Coping Examples
Sewell Family: mother with dementia and sons: able to enjoy the new, shifting view, continuing joyous parts of life
Native American Women: mother with dementia: “not failure but circle of life”
Betty & Kenny Klein: lost boys: “holding 2 opposing ideas”
Loving the Questions
“be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves like locked rooms and like books that are written in a very foreign tongue... And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some day into the answer."
Rainer Maria Rilke
Created November 2013
Presented by NAMI PA, Main Line an affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness
Contact presenter Craig DeLarge directly at:[email protected]
Listing of resources used to create this presentation:www.diigo.com/user/cadelarge/ambiguous_loss
The YouTube presentation of this discussion can be found at:Ambiguous Loss, Part I Ambiguous Loss, Part II
All information is current as of publication date; please let us know if you encounter broken hyperlinks.