StirFry Seminars & Consulting

MYTH #1: I don’t want to hurt or rewound a person color by something I do or say.

First of all, good luck. After all, I think we’ve had 500 years of don’t ask/don’t tell when it comes to issues of diversity and the odds of saying or doing something that is con-sidered racist or offensive is very likely. The trick is to stay in the relationship and not to run away or go silent when confronted by people of color. I’d encourage you to be curious and find out how and what you said/did that was hurtful or racist. Stay in the room and listen to what is being shared, even if it makes you uncomfortable. Allow yourself to be emotionally moved while you hear another’s story and journey. Notice if you are demanding facts and evidence before you are willing to listen. Validate and own up to your part in the disconnection. Take responsibility and be willing to change. Avoid talking about your good intentions or that you’re a liberal Democrat or someone who is married to a person of color. Share with your white friends what you’ve learned and also hold them accountable.

MYTH #2: I shouldn’t say anything because whites need to just listen and learn from people of color.

I’m not sure where this myth started, but the source may have come from white shame and guilt. The people of color that I have known, have seldom wanted whites to say/do nothing when diversity issues arise. What is asked for is that whites not dominate the conversation or always demand solutions, definitions and/or supportive data. Rather, the request is for whites to share their thoughts and fears and be willing to be vulnerable and self-reflective. In other words, be thoughtful listeners and faithful witnesses to what is being said by people of color, and not just listen for what they want to hear or only what makes sense to them as white people. A black student shared in my latest film, If These Halls Could Talk, “I think whites are ‘numb’ to their actions and their impact on people of color because they have lost a part of themselves as human beings.” The work for whites is to acknowledge their history and their privilege and to notice how those “advantages” have allowed them unearned access and power over others. Before we can talk about inclusion, we must first acknowledge the existence and practice of exclusion. And this important conversation requires both whites and people of color engaging with one another and hearing one another’s stories and experiences from a place of curiosity instead of a place of fear; understanding instead of denial; self-reflec-tion instead of blaming.

As I shared in my book, The Art of Mindful Facilitation: “It is my belief that when we value others for their uniqueness and differences, then we enhance the possibilities for our children and ourselves. To me, that is what community is all about: when it is practiced and realized in our daily lives with those we love and with those we have been taught to fear.”

September 2017

MYTHS ABOUT BEING A WHITE ALLY

Contact Us: 510.204.8840 Trainings, Films & Diversity Products, ext. 103 • www.stirfryseminars.com • www.diversitytrainingfilms.com

** Held at the Quan Yin Training Center, 2311 8th Street, Berkeley, CA

For StirFry’s complete Calendar of Upcoming Events, please visit www.stirfryseminars.com/events

September 27, 2017Berkeley, CA

Cultural Competency for LeadersNot Open to the Public

September 29-Oct 1, 2017**Berkeley, CA

Let’s Get Real- Unlearning Racism and Internalized RacismOpen to the Public

October 4, 2017Cambridge, MA

An Unfinished ConversationNot Open to the Public

October 6, 2017Philadelphia, PA

Responding to a Discriminatory Incident at School; Keynote - What Stands Between UsMCRC & ADVIS Diversity, Equity & Inclusion Conference - Open to the Public

October 14, 2017Bellevue, WA

Creating Community in Diverse Group SettingsOpen to the Public

StirFry Calendar of Upcoming Events

Diversity Documentaries Available for Online Rental!

DiversityTrainingFilms.comStirfry Seminars & Consulting has made its acclaimed diversity documentary films available on-demand for individuals and students via digitally-streamed video at: www.DiversityTrainingFilms.com. There, you can view Director Lee Mun Wah’s latest film, If These Halls Could Talk as well as The Color of Fear, Last Chance for Eden and Stolen Ground.

Your rental fee allows you to access each film for your chosen time period. Please note StirFry Seminars’ Copyright and Use Agreement prior to purchase.

If you would like to own a DVD copy of our diversity training films, you can purchase them on the StirFry Seminars & Consulting website at: www.stirfryseminars.com/store.

LET’S GET REAL:Unlearning Racism and Internalized Racism

Facilitated by Lee Mun Wah & Rainbow Markell

For More Information: 510.204.8840 ext. 103 or www.stirfryseminars.com/BTC

September 29 -October 1, 2017This retreat is about confronting some of the issues that keep us all from talking to one another about race/racism. It is also about discovering new ways to begin that conversation, how to create a bridge to talk about our differences, exploring what opens us up and what closes us down, and finally, 101 ways to become culturally competent in our relationships and workplaces.

We hope that you will join us in making this not only a better world for our children, but for ourselves—not by starting tomorrow, but by beginning that conversation today.

Now available in extended rental periods: 24 hours • 72 hours • 1 week • 1 month • 6 months • 1 year