myfakefiance.pdf

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1 00:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,700 Not another wedding 2 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,300 Sure, they can be lovely 3 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,600 But when you're a single girl and most of your friends are married 4 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:23,300 Let's just say, going to weddings can be treacherou s 5 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,600 I know Courtney and Steve mean well...yet I'm always at the losers' table 6 00:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,500 Okay, okay. I'll behave 7 00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,000 Maybe for once the guy that they put me next to will be...decent. 8 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,000 Weddings...what a joke 9 00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,200 Beautiful Ceremony, wasnt it? 10

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100:00:08,500 --> 00:00:10,700

Not another wedding

200:00:12,200 --> 00:00:14,300Sure, they can be lovely

300:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,600But when you're a single girl andmost of your friends are married

400:00:18,600 --> 00:00:23,300Let's just say, going to weddings can be treacherous

500:00:24,000 --> 00:00:28,600I know Courtney and Steve mean well...yet I'malways at the losers' table

600:00:49,100 --> 00:00:52,500Okay, okay. I'll behave

700:00:53,400 --> 00:00:57,000Maybe for once the guy that they put menext to will be...decent.

800:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,000Weddings...what a joke

900:01:01,300 --> 00:01:03,200Beautiful Ceremony, wasnt it?

10

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00:01:32,145 --> 00:01:33,500No

2000:01:38,300 --> 00:01:40,300

They're perfect for each other

2100:01:43,750 --> 00:01:46,300So, why don't you like weddings?

2200:01:47,200 --> 00:01:54,170It's a silly fairy tale. Marrying the man of your d

reamsand living happily ever after and a gingerbread housenestled in a field of cotton candy.

2300:01:54,430 --> 00:01:55,400Yummy

24

00:01:55,500 --> 00:01:57,850No, I mean there's no such thing as soulmates

2500:01:58,000 --> 00:01:58,950So, you sleep around

2600:01:59,100 --> 00:02:01,200Sorry, I'm not your type

2700:02:01,350 --> 00:02:03,300I don't have a type, what makes you think I have atype?

2800:02:03,370 --> 00:02:05,500

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Please, you ever hear the phrase 'the clothes makethe man'?

2900:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,450

I...I don't...maybe

3000:02:07,540 --> 00:02:10,000Well.....look at you

3100:02:10,150 --> 00:02:10,680What?

3200:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,970You were invited to a formal wedding, but you obviouslycouldn't afford a tuxedo,

3300:02:13,971 --> 00:02:16,800so you decided to get away from the dark suit and

matching tie; only you don't own a dark suit

3400:02:16,801 --> 00:02:20,690just a... navy blue blazer which judging by the lapelswhat? 10 years old?

3500:02:20,691 --> 00:02:24,370Not that you couldn't afford a new one necessarilybutbecause you also chose not to get it cleaned and pressed.

3600:02:24,371 --> 00:02:28,950I'm guessing you're one of those people that just c

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an't bebother, as long as it still fits right why get a new one,

37

00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:29,500Am I right?

3800:02:29,950 --> 00:02:33,910-Wow. Uh... I...-Which would also explain the jeans and the stain onyour shirt. May I?

3900:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,100What are you..

4000:02:35,330 --> 00:02:40,700Yeah, just like I thought. A clip on.

41

00:02:35,330 --> 00:02:40,700Yeah, just like I thought. A clip on.

4200:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,230You want me to show you?

4300:02:44,440 --> 00:02:46,600Yeah,hey, show the world. Flash.

4400:02:48,300 --> 00:02:49,250You don't know me

4500:02:54,180 --> 00:02:57,900Hi, can you do me a favor? Would you mind switching

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seats with me? I don't think she'll attack her own.

46

00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,100Beer,please. Do you know the score in the game?

4700:03:12,120 --> 00:03:12,750Thanks.

4800:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,900

-Thank you. I really appreciate it.-Your Welcome, Steve.

4900:03:18,370 --> 00:03:21,300-Congratulations, bud.-Thanks, man.

5000:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000

You have service?

5100:03:26,090 --> 00:03:26,800May I?

5200:03:27,360 --> 00:03:30,000-How do I know you won't call a 900 number?-I won't

5300:03:30,500 --> 00:03:31,600Fine.

5400:03:36,500 --> 00:03:40,530-Hey. It's Vince. Is the monkey there?

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-Yeah-How did I do today?

5500:03:40,531 --> 00:03:47,250

-Not Good-Damn it. Crap. Yeah, I know themonkey's looking for me

5600:03:48,630 --> 00:03:49,900-Thank You.

57

00:03:50,550 --> 00:03:52,500So how much do you owe?

5800:03:53,890 --> 00:03:54,900I don't know what you're talking about.

5900:03:55,890 --> 00:04:01,400You don't realise how transparent you are. Either y

ouowe money or you're being stalked by a monkey.

6000:04:01,402 --> 00:04:04,600It's not 'a' monkey. It's 'the' monkey

6100:04:05,440 --> 00:04:07,700So how much do you owe 'the' monkey?

6200:04:08,680 --> 00:04:09,400Enough.

6300:04:11,140 --> 00:04:12,730-Congratulations.

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-Thank You.

6400:04:15,540 --> 00:04:17,100How big a haul would you say they'll take in?

6500:04:17,101 --> 00:04:20,240Have you seen the registry? I mean who needs a600 towel warmer?

6600:04:20,241 --> 00:04:22,148People say gambling's throwing your money away.

6700:04:22,149 --> 00:04:24,820Plus, when I tried to get them something,almost all the gifts had already been bought.

6800:04:24,821 --> 00:04:26,690And you should see the pile of giftsshe got at the bridal shower.

6900:04:26,691 --> 00:04:30,820I bet if you added up over the years, I'vespent 20 grand in wedding gifts.

7000:04:30,822 --> 00:04:36,370Yeah, yeah, at least. I guess in real life it'slike a savings account.

7100:04:36,371 --> 00:04:39,080We're supposed to get that money backone day when we get married.

7200:04:39,085 --> 00:04:41,910

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We? Like I'd marry a guy like you.

7300:04:42,380 --> 00:04:45,520Really? I was kind of hoping we'd grow old together

7400:04:52,600 --> 00:04:57,450Besides the hernia and the back spasms,I think that went very well.

7500:04:57,700 --> 00:05:01,900

-I owe you one, Moving is the biggest drag there is

-So you still scared?

7600:05:01,901 --> 00:05:07,500I have no margin for error. I put all my savings intothe down payment. What if I get laid off?

7700:05:07,700 --> 00:05:08,850Am I crazy for doing this?

7800:05:08,851 --> 00:05:12,630Look, you've been saving for six years to buy yourfirst place.

7900:05:12,631 --> 00:05:17,930You'll be fine.As long as you don't buy food or gas

or, God forbid, turn on a light.

8000:05:17,931 --> 00:05:20,450Ugh. Well, my whole food thing is overrated.

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8100:05:21,200 --> 00:05:26,500I'll just really miss this place. Seven years,three boyfriends, four crash diets.

8200:05:26,501 --> 00:05:30,210Ugh. That cabbage and cayenne-pepper thing almost killed me.

8300:05:30,900 --> 00:05:32,360I'm just gonna go take one last look around.

8400:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,911All right, I'll use the little boys' room.

8500:05:36,420 --> 00:05:38,800It's great that you're moving into Courtney and Steve's building.

8600:05:38,802 --> 00:05:40,860Yeah, I wouldn't have found the apartment otherwise.

8700:05:40,862 --> 00:05:43,600I meant that they'll be there to help us unload onthe other end.

8800:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,700Don't you wish? They're still on their honeymoon.

8900:05:49,260 --> 00:05:51,300-I'll meet you outside.-Okay.

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9000:06:01,300 --> 00:06:04,170-Uh, Jennifer?-Alright. I'll put it back.

9100:06:04,171 --> 00:06:05,530Can I show you something?

9200:06:07,520 --> 00:06:12,760-What happened?-There's a slight possibility that I might have

left the keys in the ignition.

9300:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,500You are no longer my gay boyfriend.

9400:06:57,200 --> 00:07:00,000Be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker.

9500:07:20,050 --> 00:07:22,150The Monkey sends his regards.

9600:07:22,170 --> 00:07:26,570Fellas, how sweet. You decided to stop by, huh?A phone call would have sufficed.

9700:07:26,580 --> 00:07:28,600Yeah, listen, you've got something for him.

9800:07:28,650 --> 00:07:30,200You have to tell the monkey I need some more time.

99

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00:07:31,940 --> 00:07:36,250Fellas, come on. There's got to be a choice.There's always a choice, right?

100

00:07:36,251 --> 00:07:40,870Yeah, like we can leave you in here on the floor in acrumpled mess or out there on the tracks.

10100:07:40,871 --> 00:07:42,550I'll let you decide.

10200:07:42,552 --> 00:07:44,000Those are the only choices?

10300:07:49,900 --> 00:07:53,280That's a bad cough, Vince. You might want to get thatchecked out.

10400:07:53,281 --> 00:07:58,500- Now, we'll be back next week. Either you have the

money by then or...?- Yes.

10500:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,750It'll be monkey business?

10600:08:01,270 --> 00:08:06,000I was just going to say break some bones, but thatwasway more clever. You know, you're smarter than youlook.

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10700:08:06,400 --> 00:08:08,080You guys are really a cliche, you know that?

108

00:08:08,100 --> 00:08:11,300- We are not.- Are too.- We are not.

10900:08:12,420 --> 00:08:12,550Let's get out of here

11000:08:41,450 --> 00:08:44,700-Congratulations.-Excuse Me?

11100:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,330Oh well, I couldn't help but notice.You know,there's an easier way to do that.

11200:08:48,480 --> 00:08:51,340Everything is computerised these days,so just choose what you want,

11300:08:51,341 --> 00:08:56,150aim the gun at the barcode and pull the trigger.It's a lot of fun.

11400:09:02,550 --> 00:09:04,650Wow. This is fun.

11500:09:23,200 --> 00:09:31,720Here you go. You know what they say?It pays to get married.

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11600:09:49,540 --> 00:09:55,690-'Hey, it's Courtney. Leave me a message'.-Hey, Courtney. It's Jennifer.I hope you guys are

having a great time on your honeymoon.

11700:09:55,691 --> 00:10:00,125But, listen, um, there was a guy at the wedding.I think his name was Vince.

11800:10:00,126 --> 00:10:04,800

Well, we were talking and I just have some information for him,

11900:10:04,801 --> 00:10:09,710so no big deal, but, you know, if you could call me

back with his number, that'd be great. Thanks.

120

00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:15,200Ooh, the monkey guy.

12100:10:19,450 --> 00:10:22,150-Hi, is, uh... ? Is Monkey there?-It's 'the' Monkey.

12200:10:22,158 --> 00:10:23,470-What?-You heard me.

12300:10:23,500 --> 00:10:25,800'The' Monkey? You're the kidding, right?

124

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00:10:25,801 --> 00:10:27,040No, I'm not kidding.

12500:10:27,041 --> 00:10:28,900

-Oh, Sorry.-Who is this?

12600:10:28,910 --> 00:10:34,970Listen, a guy named Vince called you the other dayfrom my phone,and I really need to talk to him, but I don't havehis number

12700:10:34,971 --> 00:10:37,920- I'll give it to you.- Oh, that's great. Thanks.

12800:10:38,900 --> 00:10:42,670-You're very 'the' kind.-What are you, smart?

-Okay, I won't do it again. I'm sorry.

12900:10:43,800 --> 00:10:47,420-I have to admit, I was a little surprised you called.I didn't think you liked me.

13000:10:47,421 --> 00:10:52,560- I don't.- Well, I don't like you either.- Great. Lunch?

13100:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,120Did you put it on a credit card? Maybe thecredit-card company insurance will pay for it.

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13200:10:58,121 --> 00:11:01,350I checked. The truck is covered, but not what was in it.

13300:11:01,351 --> 00:11:05,920That's too bad. You know, I still don't see whatall this has to do with me, though.

13400:11:05,921 --> 00:11:11,740I was thinking about something you said at the wedd

ing about howthe money we put into wedding gifts is like a savings account.

13500:11:11,741 --> 00:11:19,592Well, I really need to make a withdrawal. Really, really can't sleepanother night on throw pillows. So what I was thinking was...

13600:11:19,593 --> 00:11:21,300- I'm in.- Well, I didn't even...

13700:11:21,301 --> 00:11:25,251I'm in. I love it. It's perfect. I'm in. We stage a fake wedding.

13800:11:25,252 --> 00:11:30,700We invite everyone that we know. You register for the stuffyou want to replace, I get to keep all the cash.

139

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00:11:30,701 --> 00:11:34,000It's perfect. I'm in. How long do we have to staymarried in order to keep the gifts?

140

00:11:34,001 --> 00:11:35,190So you think it's a good idea?

14100:11:35,191 --> 00:11:39,310Ooh, you know what else? You could turn all the gifts into cashtoo. Take the whole bundle down to the track,

14200:11:39,311 --> 00:11:42,150double and triple our money, furnish your place like a palace.

14300:11:45,635 --> 00:11:49,340Check, please. Yeah, this won't work. Wedding's off.

14400:11:49,900 --> 00:11:53,460Wow, talk about commitment issues. You're gettingcold feet over our pretend wedding.

14500:11:55,490 --> 00:12:02,030Hello? You're kidding? Where? That's great.I'll be right there. Have a nice life.

14600:12:02,450 --> 00:12:09,750Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What about the money?

Your furniture? Our love?

14700:12:21,200 --> 00:12:23,800

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Oh, be the coffee maker. Be the coffee maker.

14800:12:28,850 --> 00:12:31,600So, you're thinking a DJ or a band?

14900:12:46,300 --> 00:12:51,800Oh, here it is. Invited guests have an obligation tosend a gift whether they are attending or not.

15000:12:51,970 --> 00:12:58,080

Seriously? That is, that is awesome. So we need toinviteeveryone that we know. In fact, we should invite

15100:12:58,100 --> 00:13:04,815everyone that we've ever met, especially the rich ones.You know what? I spilled coffee once on Donald Trump.

15200:13:04,816 --> 00:13:07,800Why don't we send a couple of invites over to Trump

Tower, see what happens?

15300:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,560- Brilliant!-Thank you.

15400:13:11,300 --> 00:13:17,100Okay, just so we're clear - we announce our engagement,we sendout invitations and then just before the wedding, we call it off.

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15500:13:17,101 --> 00:13:20,200I keep all the gifts for my apartment, and youkeep all the cash to pay off your debt.

15600:13:20,205 --> 00:13:27,100It's perfect. Plus, the girls love a guy who's been left at the altar,soI will definitely be seeing some sympathy bow-chicka-wow-wow.

157

00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,600Wow. I just hope people will buy that I've actually

lowered my standards this much.

15800:13:31,605 --> 00:13:35,800Ha. What does it say in there about calling it off?I need toknow how long we need to keep this charade up.

15900:13:35,801 --> 00:13:36,920I really need to pay off the monkey.

16000:13:37,870 --> 00:13:43,280Oh no. If the couple calls off their engagement prior tothe wedding, all gifts must be promptly returned.

16100:13:44,200 --> 00:13:48,190So, wait a minute. What does that mean?That we have to actually go through with it?

16200:13:48,800 --> 00:13:49,930

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Apparently so.

16300:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,320You and I are broke. We can't afford a wedding.

16400:13:54,620 --> 00:13:58,840Yes, we can. We pretend we're planning a wedding,but then as the date approaches,

16500:13:58,841 --> 00:14:04,900we get overwhelmed with the details and have to elo

pe.It's perfect. We get the gifts, but without the wedding.

16600:14:05,550 --> 00:14:06,500That could work.

16700:14:06,550 --> 00:14:10,250

It will work. All we have to do is convincepeople that we're in love.

16800:14:11,550 --> 00:14:13,340-Oh, God.-Oh, God.

16900:14:15,000 --> 00:14:21,100No, you know what? We can do this. We just haveto make up a story about our whirlwind romance.

17000:14:21,101 --> 00:14:24,100Yeah, like how I swept you off your feetwith my dashing good looks.

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17100:14:24,101 --> 00:14:25,910Or something believable.

172

00:14:25,911 --> 00:14:29,005What? Like your effervescent charm?

17300:14:29,500 --> 00:14:35,830No. Like we bonded over something we have incommon. Now, what do we have in common?

174

00:14:40,770 --> 00:14:42,600- Any ideas?- Not a one.

17500:14:48,900 --> 00:14:53,300Well, guess that's about it. I'm tellingyou this guy is a real pig.

176

00:14:53,460 --> 00:15:00,600I know. This is the first time I've ransacked a place and Ileft it cleaner than I found it. What did we get, anyway?

17700:15:00,601 --> 00:15:08,850-Not much. A jar of pennies, a stack of vintage girlie magazines.-And we'll have to wait until he gets here.

17800:15:09,650 --> 00:15:14,230- What is that?- A dictionary. What's that thing he called us?

179

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00:15:14,231 --> 00:15:16,600- What do you mean? Cliche?- Yeah, cliche.

180

00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:21,100Cliche. Cliche.

18100:15:22,170 --> 00:15:29,400C-l-e-e-s-h-a-y.I can't find it.

182

00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:36,100Look, all I know is he better get here soon. 'Cause if I missDesperate Housewives, he'll be missing a finger.

18300:15:41,650 --> 00:15:43,250Where is that boy?

184

00:16:05,460 --> 00:16:08,610- Hello?- Honey, I'm home.

18500:16:08,611 --> 00:16:14,800-Did you leave something here, like your pride?- Just let me in.- I'm in my pyjamas.

18600:16:14,820 --> 00:16:19,250Ooh, how exciting! Just let me in or I'mcalling off the wedding.

18700:16:24,110 --> 00:16:27,710No. No, no, no, no. That was not part of

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the deal. You cannot stay here.

18800:16:27,711 --> 00:16:30,200- Do you remember the monkey?

- Yeah, who could forget?

18900:16:30,201 --> 00:16:35,540Right now there are two gorillas outside my apartment waiting for me.You want to become a widow before you ever get your shower gifts?

19000:16:35,541 --> 00:16:38,710Have you ever heard of these things called friends?

They come in really handy at times like this.

19100:16:38,711 --> 00:16:43,460I have a lot of friends, thank you very much.I just owe them all money.

19200:16:43,500 --> 00:16:45,350Oh, wow, you're living the dream!

19300:16:45,450 --> 00:16:47,900It'll be one night. You won't even know I'm here.

19400:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,420Fine. One night.

19500:16:54,730 --> 00:16:56,610What's with the gloves, Minnie Mouse?

196

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00:16:56,611 --> 00:17:00,800-Uh.. They're moisturising gloves.-Right. It's probably a good idea at your age.

197

00:17:15,890 --> 00:17:20,600-Honey, where are you going?-To see Jennifer. I told you. She called and askedforVince's number.

19800:17:20,601 --> 00:17:25,060-It's 8 in the morning.

-We have been in Fiji for two weeks. I'm sure she's dyingto see him.

19900:17:25,061 --> 00:17:28,650- This is no time to be selfish, sweetie.- Uh, a little help?

200

00:17:30,830 --> 00:17:33,980How insensitive of me. I completely forgot...

20100:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,350her housewarming gift. Thanks, honey.

20200:17:48,750 --> 00:17:49,620Jennifer.

20300:17:53,070 --> 00:17:55,410Jennifer, someone's at the door.

20400:18:11,830 --> 00:18:12,660(Jennifer)

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20500:18:29,300 --> 00:18:32,180- Hello?- Hello.

20600:18:34,470 --> 00:18:43,610-Hello.-Vince, I can see you. Let me in.

20700:18:48,580 --> 00:18:51,580Hey, you're back from, um, your honeymoon, huh?

20800:18:51,581 --> 00:18:54,620Just got back. And you're...

20900:18:56,580 --> 00:19:00,270- ..here.- Yeah. Yeah.

21000:19:00,095 --> 00:19:06,200So, uh, what's...? What's new?

21100:19:06,900 --> 00:19:11,090Married. What's new with you?

21200:19:11,111 --> 00:19:16,550Oh, not much. I-I woke up yesterday and my stomachwasa little upset.

21300:19:16,670 --> 00:19:19,270Vince, you tell me about Jennifer.

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21400:19:19,271 --> 00:19:21,110- Her stomach's fine.- Stop playing games.

21500:19:21,111 --> 00:19:23,760I mean, it looks like you two really hit it off.

21600:19:24,360 --> 00:19:32,610Yeah. Yeah, we did. She's great. Great. She, you know, we realisedwe had... something in common.

21700:19:32,611 --> 00:19:37,600See, I knew it! Jennifer! Is she here?

21800:19:37,605 --> 00:19:40,100No. She left.

219

00:19:40,760 --> 00:19:42,180Oh, she went to work?

22000:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,950Yes. Yes, she did. Work. That's where she went.

22100:19:46,300 --> 00:19:48,480She's there working at work. At her job.

22200:19:48,481 --> 00:19:50,610That's what she- you know. That's what she does.

22300:19:50,621 --> 00:19:53,300That box looks awfully heavy. Can I take that from

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you?

22400:19:55,530 --> 00:20:00,520Huh. You know, I would've thought that she would've

 movedher stuff in by now.

22500:20:00,521 --> 00:20:04,950I know. I know. It's a very long story, actually, one thatI'm sure she'll love to tell you herself.

22600:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,630Dammit. Um, I have to take this. Can you just giveme onemoment, please?

22700:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,519- Hello, Monkey?- Monkey here.

22800:20:18,520 --> 00:20:23,054Monkey? Oh, that is so sweet. Is that Jennifer? Let me talk to her.

22900:20:22,160 --> 00:20:25,550No, no, no, no. This- this is my mom.

23000:20:27,660 --> 00:20:32,400I call her monkey because of her... face.

23100:20:34,310 --> 00:20:36,390It's kind of personal. Can you just give me one moment, please?

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23200:20:36,391 --> 00:20:38,870- Yeah.- Thank you. Thank you.

23300:20:39,180 --> 00:20:42,340Hey, sorry. Yeah, no, I'm with someone.

23400:20:42,341 --> 00:20:45,510I was wondering could I come over personally and talk to you

about my plan?

23500:20:48,020 --> 00:20:50,800Yes. Yes. I just got engaged.

23600:20:52,600 --> 00:20:56,450No, no, that is the plan. I'm getting married.

23700:20:58,400 --> 00:21:02,515You're engaged, Vince? I gotta go. I'll see you later.

23800:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,000No, but this plan is gonna work.

23900:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,360Excuse me. The white one goes in recycling.

24000:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,260Nice day for a walk.

241

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00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:37,800- I thought you said walk.- Come on, man,

242

00:21:37,802 --> 00:21:41,800you're getting married. You need the exercise. Besides, it'llthin your face out for the pictures.

24300:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,340- Did wonders for me.- You do look great.

24400:21:44,341 --> 00:21:45,450Why, thank you, Vince.

24500:21:45,740 --> 00:21:47,500Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute.

246

00:21:51,750 --> 00:21:55,500- Where are we going?- The Monkey wants to see you.

24700:21:55,501 --> 00:21:58,000- He didn't want to send a car?- Monkey's gone green.

24800:22:00,180 --> 00:22:01,970Hey, how do you spell 'cliche'?

24900:22:01,990 --> 00:22:03,740-What?-What? You got wax in your ears?

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25000:22:03,741 --> 00:22:05,780That's a simple question. How do you spell 'cliche'?

25100:22:05,781 --> 00:22:08,770- C-l-i-c-h-e.- Show me.

25200:22:11,830 --> 00:22:15,000- Hey, this is, this is my dictionary.- Told you.

25300:22:15,660 --> 00:22:17,660No, it isn't. I bought it at a flea market.

25400:22:18,410 --> 00:22:24,625"To Vince on the occasion of his high-school graduation.I am so proud of you. Love, Mom."

25500:22:25,740 --> 00:22:29,450-Coincidence.-Look, just consider it interest on the loan. Now show him.

25600:22:33,250 --> 00:22:35,000Right here.

25700:22:43,700 --> 00:22:47,440Cliche - a very predictable or un...

25800:22:47,530 --> 00:22:51,360- Unoriginal.

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- ..unoriginal person or thing.

25900:22:52,840 --> 00:22:55,805- You think I'm predictable?

- Yeah, I do.

26000:22:55,900 --> 00:22:57,070What am I going to do now?

26100:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,040Punch me in the face.

26200:23:01,970 --> 00:23:05,670- Wrong. I'm going to punch you in the shoulder.- Ow!

26300:23:06,100 --> 00:23:08,850Vince, now you'll need some ice on that.

26400:23:23,840 --> 00:23:28,940You think I'm an idiot, don't you? I'm just some dumb monkeythat'll fall for this stupid scheme.

26500:23:29,330 --> 00:23:31,715Look, I'll get your money, OK?

26600:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,900I've known you for the past, what, five years, Vince?

26700:23:35,230 --> 00:23:39,150- Yeah.

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- In all that time, I've never seen you have a steady girlfriend.

26800:23:40,100 --> 00:23:42,550

You're looser with your women than you are with your money.

26900:23:42,900 --> 00:23:44,130This wedding is different than that. The wedding...

270

00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:52,410So excuse me if I just don't buy that you're readyfor a life-long commitment,which means you're either lying to your girl or you're lying to me.

27100:23:52,411 --> 00:23:54,000Or maybe he's lying to both of us.

27200:23:55,080 --> 00:23:58,500Jennifer, what...? What are you doing here?

27300:23:58,680 --> 00:24:01,555- I thought you were done with this, Vince.- Done with what?

27400:24:01,557 --> 00:24:05,900Done with gambling. You told me you'd never do it again,and here you are being held at gunpoint.

27500:24:08,640 --> 00:24:12,310- I'm sorry. I'm Jennifer. I didn't get your name.

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- I'm, uh...

27600:24:15,850 --> 00:24:17,080It's Eugene.

27700:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,620-Eugene?-Eugene?

27800:24:21,600 --> 00:24:27,400-You can call me Monkey.

-Oh, Mr. Monkey. We spoke on the phone. You gave me Vince's number,remember?

27900:24:27,401 --> 00:24:31,500- I do.- You have a very nice phone voice.- Thank you.

28000:24:32,880 --> 00:24:35,330Now, how are we supposed to start a life together if I can't trust you?

28100:24:36,420 --> 00:24:39,840- How much does he owe?- 15 grand plus interest.

28200:24:39,841 --> 00:24:43,170So, what are we talking about? 8%? Compounding weekly, monthly?

28300:24:43,171 --> 00:24:46,800- I'm not really sure. My accountant kind of handle

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s all-- It really doesn't matter.

28400:24:47,080 --> 00:24:51,960

What matters is I'm here, Vince, and I know about your debt andabout your philandering past,

28500:24:51,963 --> 00:24:56,460and I'm here to help, OK? But we have to be completely honestwith each other.

28600:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,800No more...no more secrets.

28700:24:56,461 --> 00:24:58,800No more...no more secrets.

288

00:25:01,580 --> 00:25:03,270She's very supportive.

28900:25:07,530 --> 00:25:10,400- OK- That's all you've got to say?

29000:25:12,580 --> 00:25:19,060No more secrets. I will never lie to you again. I just wanted togive you that honeymoon in Italy.

29100:25:20,000 --> 00:25:26,650Well, I guess our vacation will just have to turn into a stay-cation.

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But, you know, Rome can't compare to our morning cuddles.

29200:25:26,651 --> 00:25:29,500

- Oh, I love to spoon, man.- I love pillow talk.

29300:25:30,330 --> 00:25:40,000Well, Mr Monkey, Eugene, I'll talk to you about Vince's debt rightafter the wedding.

29400:25:40,001 --> 00:25:39,420I've got to get this guy out of here. He's meetingthe parents tonight.

29500:25:39,520 --> 00:25:41,100Vince, you want me to shoot you now, man?

296

00:25:41,110 --> 00:25:43,550Hey, don't make him any more nervous than he already is.

29700:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,900Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute.

29800:25:49,450 --> 00:25:54,200I expect an invitation to the wedding, plus two guests.

29900:25:54,540 --> 00:25:58,500- Actually, we were thinking about elope...- OK. Sure. Uh, fish or beef?

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30000:25:58,520 --> 00:26:00,860- Beef.- Beef.- Fish for me.

30100:26:00,861 --> 00:26:02,670I'm watching my girlish figure.

30200:26:03,630 --> 00:26:05,080Oh, and you've got a month to get this done.

30300:26:05,081 --> 00:26:07,550- A month?- I'm not sure it can happen that soon.

30400:26:07,551 --> 00:26:10,870Sometimes you have to book a year in advance just to reservethe space.

30500:26:10,872 --> 00:26:18,400I'm sentimental, but I'm not stupid. One month. And under thecircumstances, the sweetness clause will be in effect.

30600:26:18,650 --> 00:26:22,750- The sweetness clause?- A technicality. Nothin' to concern-yourself with.

30700:26:23,180 --> 00:26:28,775Now, Vince, give this lovely lady a kiss. I mean, after all, she did

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save your life.

30800:26:29,181 --> 00:26:33,530- I-I.. Actually, we don't believe in public displa

ys of affection.- Yeah. It's tacky.

30900:26:33,531 --> 00:26:34,680Yeah, it is. Very much against that.

31000:26:34,700 --> 00:26:39,200

Well, you'll have to kiss her in front of everyoneyou know. You mightas well start practising.

31100:26:45,230 --> 00:26:51,050Come on. She's your fiancee, not your cousin. Giveher a kiss.

312

00:26:59,500 --> 00:27:01,000Yeah, that's what's up

31300:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,470That's more like it. You got yourself a good lady,Vince.

31400:27:04,680 --> 00:27:10,300I don't know how you did it, but you did it. It'llbe a shameif she was a widow before she got married.

31500:27:10,401 --> 00:27:13,300You got one month. Not a day more.

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31600:27:13,800 --> 00:27:20,300Oh, and, Vince, good luck with the in-laws. Tell them I said hi.

31700:27:20,000 --> 00:27:22,280- Hey, Eugene, that was nice.- Monkey.

31800:27:22,281 --> 00:27:23,260- Yeah.- Monkey.

31900:27:27,100 --> 00:27:28,150What are you doing?

32000:27:32,750 --> 00:27:35,620One month? Everyone's gonna think I'm pregnant.

321

00:27:36,260 --> 00:27:38,850I'm about to get killed by gangsters and that's what you'reworried about?

32200:27:39,250 --> 00:27:41,100Look, I take my reputation very seriously.

32300:27:41,101 --> 00:27:44,111Trust me, the last thing anyone would call you is loose.

32400:27:44,112 --> 00:27:45,620And what is that supposed to mean?

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32500:27:45,900 --> 00:27:49,170We have bigger fish to fry, OK? Like how we can afford the wedding.

32600:27:50,300 --> 00:27:52,110Wait a minute, aren't the bride's parents supposedto pay?

32700:27:52,360 --> 00:27:56,099No way. We are not asking my parents to pay for our fake wedding.

32800:27:56,100 --> 00:27:59,900We'll just have to figure something else out. Besides, they're still freakingout that I'm engaged.

32900:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,070- How did they find out?

- Courtney told Lisa,

33000:28:03,071 --> 00:28:08,000who told her mother, who told her podiatrist, who told my Aunt Dolly,who told my mother.

33100:28:09,220 --> 00:28:10,310What did they say?

33200:28:10,700 --> 00:28:14,150I think her exact words were, "miracles do happen."

333

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00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:17,400- They got you pegged.

33400:28:17,700 --> 00:28:20,530

Listen, my parents aren't the easiest people in the world to get along with,

33500:28:20,531 --> 00:28:24,840so just try not to say anything that's going to tick them off or makethem suspicious or...

33600:28:24,841 --> 00:28:27,800let me do all the talking, OK? The less they know about you, the better.

33700:28:28,900 --> 00:28:33,380I see. This really has nothing to do with your parents at all, does it?It has to do with me.

33800:28:34,180 --> 00:28:35,600You don't think your parents will like me, do you?

33900:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,310- No, I know they won't like you. They'll think I'm crazy.- Oh, please. I'm a catch.

34000:28:40,311 --> 00:28:44,150Oh, please. You're like a 30-year-old man-child who has no friends,

34100:28:44,151 --> 00:28:47,500

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no money in the bank and no apparent ambition.My parents will be so proud!

34200:28:51,130 --> 00:28:51,900

We'll see.

34300:28:58,340 --> 00:29:01,820Remember, no talking. You're my mute fiance.

34400:29:03,450 --> 00:29:06,720Mom! Hey! There she is!

34500:29:06,730 --> 00:29:10,280Oh, my goodness, I cannot believe this! Forget that. Give me a hug.

34600:29:10,290 --> 00:28:14,350Wow! It is so good to meet you, really. I have heard so much

about you, it's ridiculous.

34700:29:14,900 --> 00:29:18,160- Oh my God, show me the ring. Show me the ring!- Oh, the ring?

34800:29:18,500 --> 00:29:21,410Actually, um, Mom, there is no ring.

34900:29:21,410 --> 00:29:25,370- Oh, seriously. Come on, where's the ring?- No, there is no ring.

35000:29:25,830 --> 00:29:30,780

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Jennifer and I were talking about it, and we decided to wait until we canafford to buy the type of ring that she deserves.

351

00:29:30,990 --> 00:29:34,240One as beautiful as her spirit, which I can tell she got from her mother.

35200:29:34,260 --> 00:29:37,000- Enough.- Ow. Dad!

35300:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,890- Hey!- Wow, he is really spirited.- Yeah.

35400:29:40,900 --> 00:29:43,610Sweetie, is that the dress I gave you?

35500:29:43,611 --> 00:29:46,140- Yeah, actually, it is.- Oh, how strange.

35600:29:46,151 --> 00:29:48,920You know, it just looks so different on the hanger.

35700:29:48,940 --> 00:29:51,650It just goes to show you should always try things on, huh?

35800:29:55,450 --> 00:29:59,350That's Jennifer's sister Bonnie's wedding, and that

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's her husband, Will.

35900:29:59,400 --> 00:30:03,180And these - these are our grandbabies. There's Jona

than and Samantha.

36000:30:03,330 --> 00:30:05,800They're so adorable I just want to grab those pictures and eat 'em.

36100:30:05,880 --> 00:30:08,620

- Oh, yeah.- Perhaps we'll have some more grandkids soon.

36200:30:08,630 --> 00:30:13,260- Hmm.- Honey, should you be drinking?- Mom, I told you I'm not pregnant.

363

00:30:14,900 --> 00:30:17,600It's crazy. I never knew that Jennifer had a sister.

36400:30:17,531 --> 00:30:18,000- Oh.- Oh.

36500:30:18,001 --> 00:30:20,730Wait till you meet her. You'll love her. Everybodydoes.

36600:30:20,760 --> 00:30:23,320She was voted most popular at Slosson County High School.

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36700:30:23,325 --> 00:30:25,170Oh. I have that yearbook here somewhere.

36800:30:25,172 --> 00:30:28,500Hon, I'm sure Vince would rather see pictures of Jennifer from high school.

36900:30:28,501 --> 00:30:31,200- Oh, we put those in the attic.- Oh, that's right.

37000:30:31,210 --> 00:30:34,020Well, here's one of my graduation day from Harvard.

37100:30:34,110 --> 00:30:37,830Right. That was a proud day for all of us. Oh, well.

37200:30:38,300 --> 00:30:41,000- Come on, son. Let's eat. You hungry?- Uh, yeah.

37300:30:41,001 --> 00:30:42,700- Got to be a long ride over here.- Yeah, it is was.- Yeah.

37400:30:51,480 --> 00:30:59,795Thank you so much for having me. Your home is absolutelygorgeous. I don't think I've ever seen a home so beautiful.

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37500:30:59,799 --> 00:31:02,160- Aw. That's so sweet.- Did you pay somebody to decorate it?

- No, no.

37600:31:02,165 --> 00:31:05,630- I know you paid somebody. This place looks like a magazine.- A great dinner.

377

00:31:05,650 --> 00:31:10,210-Amazing. You're one hell of a cook.-So, Vince, what do you do for a living?

37800:31:10,930 --> 00:31:14,320That is a good question, Dad. What do you do for aliving, Vince?

379

00:31:10,931 --> 00:31:18,430- You don't know?- Well, I, yeah, I just love to hear him explain it.

38000:31:21,100 --> 00:31:27,170I'm in investment management. I analyse risk and reward and weighthem against each other to maximise gain.

38100:31:27,171 --> 00:31:31,510Well, I have a little investment money set aside. Maybe you'vegot some inside advice for me, Vinnie?

382

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00:31:31,511 --> 00:31:34,650- I've got a lot of ideas. How much have you got?- Vince, what are you doing?

383

00:31:35,450 --> 00:31:39,050- Just trying to help out dad.- What about your family?

38400:31:39,900 --> 00:31:46,750We should have them over for dinner. Better yet, why not have usall over to your new place? Oh, we're dying to see

it.

38500:31:46,850 --> 00:31:50,790- I don't have a family.- Um, I'm so sorry.

38600:31:51,630 --> 00:31:55,690- I grew up in a foster home.

- Oh, Vince. Why didn't you tell us?

38700:31:55,691 --> 00:31:57,950Vince doesn't really like to talk about it.

38800:31:58,000 --> 00:32:03,110Oh, it's OK, sweetheart. We're with family now. There werefour other children that lived there too.

38900:32:03,111 --> 00:32:09,440There was, um, Joe, Natalie, Blair and, of course,sweet little Tootie.

390

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00:32:10,100 --> 00:32:16,540We were guided through the trials of adolescence by the tenderhand of Mrs Garrett. Well, we always call her Mrs G.

39100:32:18,290 --> 00:32:22,120Now, well, you know, Mrs G always taught us to take the good...

39200:32:23,340 --> 00:32:25,040..and then take the bad...

39300:32:26,290 --> 00:32:28,610and then take them both.

39400:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,880There you have it.

395

00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:36,800- Wow, it's almost like a song.- Yeah?- Sounds like a wise woman.

39600:32:36,850 --> 00:32:40,400- I can't wait to meet her. Does she live in the area?- Who?

39700:32:40,810 --> 00:32:44,070- Oh, my mother. Yes.- Yeah.

39800:32:44,073 --> 00:32:46,860

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She does. Right outside the city. In the complete opposite direction.

39900:32:46,861 --> 00:32:51,080

- Wonderful. Find out when it would be convenient for her.- Mom, I haven't met her yet myself.

40000:32:51,300 --> 00:32:53,940What? Who gets married without meeting the parents?

40100:32:57,950 --> 00:33:08,550I guess we do. Oh, listen, when, uh- when you meetMrs G, you know,don't mention the whole foster home thing.

40200:33:08,551 --> 00:33:13,030She gets extremely sensitive about it 'cause she always

likes to think of me as her real son.

40300:33:13,090 --> 00:33:18,000- Oh, that is so lovely.- Our lips are sealed.- Thanks.

40400:33:18,130 --> 00:33:21,020- Sweetie, would you help me with the dessert?- Ooh.

40500:33:21,021 --> 00:33:22,090Sure, Mom.

406

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00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:25,960See you in a minute, honey. Whoo!

40700:33:34,840 --> 00:33:39,100

I'll tell you, Dad, it's really great to get a sense of whereJennifer comes from.

40800:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,230Yeah. Is she pregnant? Tell me the truth.

409

00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,250- No, she isn't.- Damn.

41000:33:44,800 --> 00:33:49,710Why does that girl not hear her clock ticking?Everybody else does. 'Tick-tock', 'tick-tock', 'tick-tock'.

41100:33:49,712 --> 00:33:53,100Yeah, it's more like , "Bong! Bong! Bong!"

41200:33:53,830 --> 00:33:59,650You got that right. High five.Vince, you seemlike a really decent guy,

41300:33:59,651 --> 00:34:02,900and I've got to say, I haven't seen Jennifer this happy in a long time.

41400:34:03,510 --> 00:34:09,600- Really? She seems happy to you?- Yeah, it's the happiest I've seen her in years.

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- Wow.

41500:34:10,140 --> 00:34:14,250- Hon, can you come in the kitchen?

- The potholder is in the bottom drawer.

41600:34:14,800 --> 00:34:18,100Memory is the first thing to go, after the sex, ofcourse.

41700:34:19,880 --> 00:34:23,920

- I can't find 'em.- OK.

41800:34:26,350 --> 00:34:29,540- Now, you two lovebirds try and keep your hands off each other.- OK, Dad.

419

00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,200Ow. Why do you keep doing that?

42000:34:35,580 --> 00:34:40,300Thanks to you, we have to have our parents over tomy completelyempty apartment for a meet-and-greet.

42100:34:40,315 --> 00:34:41,810What happens when your mom shows up with your dad?

42200:34:41,811 --> 00:34:45,000You're not going to have to worry about it, because my dadleft my mom when I was a kid.

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42300:34:45,200 --> 00:34:48,750What? Let me guess, One Day At A Time?Your sister was Valerie Bertinelli?

42400:34:49,170 --> 00:34:54,710No, seriously, my dad left me when I was a kid. Hetried to get back in my life when I was a teenager,

42500:34:54,711 --> 00:35:00,100

but it didn't really go over so well, so, um, you know,we haven't really seen each other since.

42600:35:04,200 --> 00:35:07,700Jennifer, we are paying for your wedding.

42700:35:07,860 --> 00:35:11,880

- Oh, no, no, no. I said we'd take care...- Honey, let your mother speak.

42800:35:11,881 --> 00:35:16,370- No, no, no. It's out of the question.- Sweetie, be reasonable.

42900:35:16,160 --> 00:35:16,370- No, no, no. It's out of the question.- Sweetie, be reasonable.

43000:35:21,901 --> 00:35:26,490- No, I'm sorry, we can't accept your money.- We can't? I think we can.

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43100:35:26,491 --> 00:35:32,160In fact, I think we should. How can we deny your mother andyour father the joy?

43200:35:32,161 --> 00:35:38,770- Oh.- Fine.- Now, there's just one catch.

43300:35:40,080 --> 00:35:42,680

- We spent your wedding funds.- What?

43400:35:42,720 --> 00:35:47,070- We landscaped the backyard. Doesn't it look great?- Whoa, you spent my wedding fund?

435

00:35:47,071 --> 00:35:50,360- We thought we had more time.- Don't you worry.

43600:35:50,361 --> 00:35:54,730We'll just move some money around so we can throw youthe wedding of your dreams.

43700:35:54,731 --> 00:35:57,900- It'll be our gift to you.- Mm-hm.- Sounds great.

43800:36:00,950 --> 00:36:02,420

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That's great. All right.

43900:36:21,120 --> 00:36:23,750- I can't do this.

- This is too heavy?

44000:36:24,200 --> 00:36:27,770No, I'm talking about my parents. I can't let thempay for our wedding.

44100:36:27,830 --> 00:36:30,150

You're giving them joy. Why would you want to hurttheir feelings?

44200:36:30,500 --> 00:36:36,330Please. They've been hurting my feelings for years. It's payback.I'm sorry. I can't let them pay for our fake wedding.

44300:36:36,530 --> 00:36:39,710- Did they pay for Bonnie's wedding?- Of course.- Was it nice?

44400:36:40,300 --> 00:36:47,700It was OK if you're into that sort of thing - custom Vera Wang dresses,horse-drawn carriages, a flock of doves released when they kissed.

44500:36:48,400 --> 00:36:50,300My mom still cries when she talks about it.

446

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00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:54,260See? They just want to share that same number withyou.

447

00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,860- You're good.- I'm just saying let them pay for the wedding.

44800:36:59,190 --> 00:37:05,000Then when and if you meet Mr Right - it's a big if- you can elope.

44900:37:06,020 --> 00:37:11,560- Look, we are going to pay them back.- It's why we're having the wedding. We have no money,

45000:37:11,561 --> 00:37:13,850I have a monkey on my back, and you have an empty apartment.

45100:37:14,060 --> 00:37:19,030We're going to pay them back if it takes 10 years,OK? 50/50,remember? Giving gives you joy.

45200:37:19,031 --> 00:37:23,100- I didn't sign up for ten years.- Well, if you don't like the terms, go find another fake fiancee.

45300:37:26,400 --> 00:37:29,730- Fine. We'll pay them back.- Swear on it.

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45400:37:30,730 --> 00:37:31,640I swear.

455

00:37:36,940 --> 00:37:38,350Oh, my God.

45600:37:39,850 --> 00:37:45,320- Ooh, it's time for Sports Centre.- I'm so looking forward to our divorce.

457

00:37:58,320 --> 00:37:58,800Yeah?

45800:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,630- Hey.- What are you doing up?

45900:38:29,990 --> 00:38:08,510

I couldn't sleep, so I made myself a little snack.Thought my businesspartner might like some.

46000:38:09,260 --> 00:38:12,980- Is that tiramisu?- Yeah. My mom's an amazing cook.

46100:38:12,981 --> 00:38:20,920Taught me everything I know. Well, night.

46200:38:21,820 --> 00:38:22,870Thanks.

463

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00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:36,750-'Fox puts it up on the left-hand side of the backboard.'- Yes!

46400:38:38,450 --> 00:38:41,720Jen, I can't get over your new place. I love what you've done with it.

46500:38:42,100 --> 00:38:46,700- Thanks, Dad. I was going for the sweaty-locker-room feel.

- You nailed it.

46600:38:46,850 --> 00:38:51,250Don't worry. We'll go register at Not Just Sofas. All of this will go.

46700:38:51,251 --> 00:38:55,430- So, what are you ladies talking about over here?

- Just making plans.

46800:38:55,433 --> 00:39:02,040- Oh. Wow. What is that number right there?- Uh, that is the price per head.

46900:39:02,650 --> 00:39:06,510Is that the price for a real human head? Because if not, it's waytoo expensive

47000:39:06,515 --> 00:39:10,950Weddings aren't cheap, Vince. Don't worry. Al and I have got it covered.

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47100:39:11,600 --> 00:39:16,780- Honey, remember our mantra - less food, more seats.

- Listen to that boy. He makes good sense.

47200:39:16,781 --> 00:39:22,070- Sweetie? We're throwing a wedding, not a tailgate party.- We lucked out, Vince.

473

00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:31,050The country club had a cancellation for April 25th. Can you imagine?Less than a month before the wedding? Poor soul.

47400:39:31,170 --> 00:39:40,770Oh, well, I guess one girl's heartbreak is anothergirl's special day, hmm?So, your first counselling session with Reverend Ji

m - it's Tuesday night.

47500:39:40,771 --> 00:39:41,790Counselling session?

47600:39:41,791 --> 00:39:48,550You just go in and chat with the Reverend about your relationshipand the hopes and fears you have about marriage.

47700:39:48,580 --> 00:39:52,000Oh, a lot of touchy-feely mumbo-jumbo if you ask me.

478

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00:39:53,550 --> 00:39:54,850What will we talk about?

47900:39:55,160 --> 00:40:00,540

Mom, remember I told you Vince is not very religious. Do you thinkmaybe Reverend Jim would make an exception?

48000:40:00,541 --> 00:40:03,480He will not perform the ceremony unless you go through counselling first.

48100:40:03,870 --> 00:40:09,000Just say, 'yes, dear', It's two of the most important words to a successful marriage.

48200:40:09,430 --> 00:40:10,990Yes, dear.

483

00:40:10,991 --> 00:40:17,700Honey, have you thought about colours? 'Cause I'm thinking teal, huh?It's one of those few colours that doesn't wash you out.

48400:40:19,450 --> 00:40:24,300-There she is.-Hi, Mom.

48500:40:24,350 --> 00:40:30,500Look at you. Give me a hug. Oh, you're just so huggable.

48600:40:30,501 --> 00:40:36,570

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I'm sorry, honey. I would've been here sooner, butI got lost.I always get lost in a full moon. So, introduce me.

48700:40:36,572 --> 00:40:39,470- Hi.- Uh, everybody, this is my mother, Catherine.

48800:40:39,471 --> 00:40:41,800Mom, these are Jennifer's parents. This is Val.

48900:40:41,850 --> 00:40:52,750Oh, it is so good to meet you. Oh... You smell wonderful. Like saffron.

49000:40:53,700 --> 00:40:57,150- Thank you.- And that is Al.

49100:40:57,700 --> 00:41:03,900- Al.- Oh. So, can we call you Mrs G.?

49200:41:03,910 --> 00:41:07,270- Uh, actually, I don't...- Well, you can call me whatever moves you.

49300:41:08,670 --> 00:41:17,420And you must be Jennifer. Oh! Oh.

49400:41:17,645 --> 00:41:23,400I am sure that you hear this all the time, but youhave

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the most beautiful aura.

49500:41:24,630 --> 00:41:26,290Actually, that's a first.

49600:41:25,110 --> 00:41:35,800Well, it's true. It's purple and orange and swirlsof magenta. I can tell thatyou are a very passionate lover. Good work, son.

49700:41:35,850 --> 00:41:46,730

Oh, let me see the two of you together. Click. NowI have an announcementto make. I'm sure that Vince has told you a littlebit about our family.

49800:41:46,740 --> 00:41:49,800He did. I hope someday we get to meet that Tootie.

499

00:41:49,801 --> 00:41:52,700- Who?- Mom, you and I should talk about this in private.

50000:41:52,701 --> 00:41:55,450It's OK, honey. These people are family now.

50100:41:56,480 --> 00:42:01,680As you know, Vince's father abandoned us to pursuehis dreamof selfish isolation.

50200:42:02,880 --> 00:42:04,150You've got to have goals.

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50300:42:04,870 --> 00:42:09,980Luckily, my son is an Aries with a Saturn rising, so he perseveres.

50400:42:09,990 --> 00:42:17,420But a few days ago, out of the blue, his father called. It seems thathe's having regrets about some of the decisions that he made.

505

00:42:17,430 --> 00:42:22,150And when I told him about Vince's wedding, he offered to payfor half of it.

50600:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,380- Well, that's fantastic.- No. We can't let him pay.

50700:42:25,650 --> 00:42:31,280We can't? I think we can. I think we should. I mean, how can wedeny him that joy?

50800:42:32,400 --> 00:42:33,510I'm not letting him pay.

50900:42:38,710 --> 00:42:42,160See? Now this is the perfect thing to talk about with Reverend Jim.

51000:42:42,560 --> 00:42:43,960Who's Tootie?

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51100:42:53,500 --> 00:42:57,289- OK, well, that wasn't so bad.- Can I just say one more thing?

51200:42:57,290 --> 00:42:58,740Sure. Express yourself.

51300:42:59,670 --> 00:43:07,210He refuses to go see his dad. You know, it's clearhe has abandonment

issues, but I just feel that rather than avoiding them, he should

51400:43:07,211 --> 00:43:10,410he should confront them head-on. It would really help with hispersonal growth.

515

00:43:10,780 --> 00:43:16,530She's the one who's still desperately searching for approval from herparents, so I really wish she would leave my personal growth out of this.

51600:43:16,532 --> 00:43:20,720Vince, don't you see why Jennifer is concerned with yourrelationship with your father?

51700:43:20,721 --> 00:43:22,640Yeah, because she wants him to pay for half of thewedding.

518

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00:43:22,650 --> 00:43:29,738I'm sure that Jennifer is more concerned with how you bring these feelingsinto your role as father to your own children. Isn't that right, Jennifer?

51900:43:29,740 --> 00:43:31,400No, I want his father to pay for half.

52000:43:32,950 --> 00:43:35,650- Oh, I see.- You with me?

52100:43:38,180 --> 00:43:43,400I mean I'm not the crazy one but it doesn't take Dr Phil to see that yourfather is somehow the root of your gambling problem.

52200:43:43,410 --> 00:43:46,900

- Gambling problem?- I do not have a gambling problem.

52300:43:46,901 --> 00:43:53,210Oh, come on. I would say owing 15,000 to a bookie named'The' monkey who's gonna have you killed unless you pay him

52400:43:53,211 --> 00:43:55,190I would say that's a pretty big problem, wouldn't you?

52500:43:55,200 --> 00:43:58,550- Vince, you owe 15,000 to a bookie?

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- Named 'The' Monkey.

52600:43:58,555 --> 00:44:02,160Who's gonna have him killed if he doesn't pay - I g

ot that part.Is it true?

52700:44:02,170 --> 00:44:06,370- No. It is not true. I do not owe 15,000.- What?

528

00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:14,520- It's 20,000. Ah, didn't see that one coming now,did you?- No, I didn't. You owe another 5,000 dollars?

52900:44:14,529 --> 00:44:21,820No, not exactly. Remember what The Monkey was talking to usabout at the zoo? The sweetness clause? It's like a

 service charge.

53000:44:21,900 --> 00:44:25,700For those special occasions when The Monkey shows justhow sweet of a guy he can be.

53100:44:26,360 --> 00:44:29,060Jennifer, tell Vince how this makes you feel.

53200:44:29,080 --> 00:44:34,370I feel like I cannot wait for this to be over so Inever haveto see you again.

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53300:44:34,375 --> 00:44:36,070Don't expect a Christmas card from me either, sweetie.

53400:44:36,071 --> 00:44:39,265- I'm not even sure you know how to write.- OK. I think we're done here.

53500:44:39,270 --> 00:44:43,310- Yeah.- Hold on. Hold on. I'm confused. Are we calling th

e wedding off?

53600:44:43,360 --> 00:44:44,350- No way.- No way.

53700:44:56,550 --> 00:44:58,520Oh, good. You're home.

53800:44:58,540 --> 00:45:00,400Mom, those keys are for emergencies only.

53900:45:00,401 --> 00:45:04,150- This is an emergency.- The wedding is off.

54000:45:04,151 --> 00:45:04,770- What?- What?

54100:45:04,780 --> 00:45:09,790- Your father played golf this morning with Reveren

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d Jim.- He told me about your little gambling problem.

54200:45:09,800 --> 00:45:18,820

- I don't have a gambling problem.- I'm sorry, son. I'm not letting my daughter marry anaddicted gambler.

54300:45:18,860 --> 00:45:20,340I thought it was supposed to be confidential.

54400:45:20,720 --> 00:45:26,430Oh, Reverend Jim is a terrible gossip. Thank God we're notcatholic. That man could never handle confessions.

54500:45:26,740 --> 00:45:31,100Vince, we feel for your predicament. We think you're a good

guy, but we've got to look out for Jennifer.

54600:45:31,920 --> 00:45:35,830- She hasn't always made the best choices when it comes to men.- Excuse me?

54700:45:36,000 --> 00:45:40,250- Remember Bobby Sherwood, the gum-in-hair incident?- Uh, that was junior high.

54800:45:40,510 --> 00:45:46,630- Just saying it's a pattern.- I'm sorry. We can't support this wedding.

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54900:45:47,500 --> 00:45:53,450- I see.- Mom, Dad, I'm ashamed of you. Marriage isn't only

 for thegood times.

55000:45:53,820 --> 00:45:57,860- Mom, did you leave Dad when he had that awful toenail fungus?- No.

55100:45:58,180 --> 00:46:04,350- Dad, did you leave mom when she gave herself that bad homeperm and was bald for a year?- No.

55200:46:04,460 --> 00:46:08,980- And I'm not leaving Vince in his time of need, ei

ther.- Thanks.

55300:46:09,760 --> 00:46:12,525Besides, the catering deposit is non-refundable.

55400:46:13,000 --> 00:46:13,850It is?

55500:46:13,870 --> 00:46:16,280- Won't get a dime back.- Can they do that?

55600:46:16,320 --> 00:46:17,430

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- Yes.- Yes.

55700:46:18,840 --> 00:46:26,200

- And on top of all that, Vince has agreed to go to

Gamblers Anonymous.- Oh!

55800:46:26,930 --> 00:46:30,220- What?- You can beat this, son.

55900:46:30,970 --> 00:46:32,370I am so proud of you.

56000:46:35,400 --> 00:46:39,060Hi, I'm, uh, Vince, and, uh, I'm a gambler.

561

00:46:39,290 --> 00:46:41,170ALL: Hi, Vince.

56200:46:46,470 --> 00:46:47,210Still me?

56300:46:49,770 --> 00:46:53,180Well, um, what can I say? Um...

56400:46:57,670 --> 00:46:59,420You got to know when to hold 'em.

56500:47:01,770 --> 00:47:04,570Know...when to fold 'em.

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56600:47:08,120 --> 00:47:09,200Thank you.

56700:47:14,400 --> 00:47:16,000That felt good.

56800:47:16,580 --> 00:47:17,495Crazy, huh?

569

00:47:17,496 --> 00:47:21,850Yeah. You've known this guy, what, a month? You sureyou're not preggo?

57000:47:22,100 --> 00:47:25,420I mean, we are a David's Bridal, I'm sure we can findsomething with an empire waist.

57100:47:25,830 --> 00:47:27,400No, I'm not preggo.

57200:47:27,510 --> 00:47:32,320When am I going to meet this Vince? Wait a minute,why haven't I met Vince? Has the family met him?

57300:47:33,320 --> 00:47:36,800Everyone but Bonnie. Courtney, what do you think of this one?

57400:47:37,150 --> 00:47:37,930Sorry, what?

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57500:47:38,130 --> 00:47:38,850What do you think?

57600:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,470This one's my favourite.

57700:47:44,610 --> 00:47:46,690Hi, my name is Ben, and I'm a gambling addict.

578

00:47:46,879 --> 00:47:49,250ALL: Hi, Ben.- What's Up?

57900:47:49,260 --> 00:47:52,970Horses were my thing. I spent more time at the track than Idid with my family.

58000:47:52,971 --> 00:47:54,200Ugh, I hear you.

58100:47:54,540 --> 00:48:03,070And at my lowest point, I was over 300,000 in debt. Thanks tothese meetings, I've been able to control my addictions,

58200:48:03,071 --> 00:48:05,840and I haven't placed a bet in over five years.

58300:48:07,460 --> 00:48:08,500Way to go.

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58400:48:10,300 --> 00:48:18,620In fact, I just took my company public. Who would've ever

thought I would be a multimillionaire? I mean, thanks.

58500:48:24,020 --> 00:48:27,060Ben shows us what is possible when we work the programme.

586

00:48:27,075 --> 00:48:29,750I had a feeling you two would hit it off.

58700:48:29,980 --> 00:48:31,050Really? Why?

58800:48:31,400 --> 00:48:38,485Because I know you, and I know how important loyalt

y is toyou. And Steve told me that out of all his friends,

58900:48:38,486 --> 00:48:42,290Vince is the one guy that he could always count on24-7.

59000:48:42,370 --> 00:48:45,960How is he with his mother? That says a lot about how he'dbe with you.

59100:48:46,000 --> 00:48:47,780Well, he's wonderful with her.

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59200:48:48,300 --> 00:48:51,670- And you said that he gets along with your parents?

- Strangely, yes.

59300:48:52,450 --> 00:48:56,810- Well, then he must really love you.- Forget the parents. How is he at the horizontal hokey-pokey?

594

00:48:56,820 --> 00:49:00,120- You guys.- Yeah, David, so rude.

59500:49:00,860 --> 00:49:05,050- But can we talk about his body?- Seriously, he has ab muscles I didn't know existed.

59600:49:05,980 --> 00:49:09,500- Oh, my God, you're blushing.- No, I'm not.

59700:49:09,501 --> 00:49:15,430- Yes, you are. I'm not sure I've ever even seen you blush before.- Aww.

59800:49:19,140 --> 00:49:23,580- Ben, hey.- Hey.- Vince. Hi. I spoke a little earlier.

599

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00:49:23,581 --> 00:49:32,270- I remember.- Yeah. Um, listen, your story saved my life tonight, and, uh,I was just wondering...

60000:49:32,272 --> 00:49:38,320- If I'd be your sponsor? Sure. Absolutely.- Actually, if you'd come to my wedding.- But we just met.

60100:49:38,323 --> 00:49:46,130

I know. I know. It's just that you've been such a wealth...of inspiration to me, Ben.

60200:49:46,300 --> 00:49:50,530- If you could write down your name and address,I would love to send you an invitation.- Sure, um...

60300:49:50,970 --> 00:49:55,150- Paper. Pen.- Sure. Appreciate it.

60400:49:58,780 --> 00:49:59,400- That's great.- Here you go.

60500:49:59,450 --> 00:50:01,170- Thank you. Thanks.- Thank You.

60600:50:01,180 --> 00:50:02,470- See you soon.

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- You got it.

60700:50:02,970 --> 00:50:07,490I'm sorry, I couldn't help but overhearing. You're

not reallygetting married, are you?

60800:50:07,700 --> 00:50:11,280- Why do you ask?- It's just that you don't seem like the marrying type, that's all.

60900:50:11,670 --> 00:50:19,300- A lot of people keep saying that. Well, I guess I am the type,because, yes, I am getting married.- Too bad.

61000:50:23,570 --> 00:50:28,440- But not for several weeks.

- I know we're not supposed to gamble any more.

61100:50:28,510 --> 00:50:33,100- That's my understanding too.- That doesn't rule out all risky behaviour, does it?

61200:50:33,670 --> 00:50:43,120- What did you have in mind?- Buy a girl a drink?- Maybe just one.

61300:51:21,470 --> 00:51:22,310That bad?

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61400:51:22,380 --> 00:51:25,390- You look amazing.- Where was that one when I was looking?

61500:51:31,500 --> 00:51:35,630So, she's a real spitfire, I'll tell you that. Shedoesnot make it easy.

61600:51:36,510 --> 00:51:45,000- Well, relationships never are.

- There is something kind of cool about her, somethingthat just, I don't know, sneaks up on you.

61700:51:46,370 --> 00:51:53,410- That's great. Well, this is my stop.- Be careful getting off.

618

00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:55,770That'll be up to you.

61900:52:14,480 --> 00:52:20,560Well, Mr Gambling Man, of the marrying type, just howmuch risk are you willing to take?

62000:53:02,100 --> 00:53:04,100- Hey.- Hey there, Bridezilla.

62100:53:05,240 --> 00:53:08,810- What are you doing?- I made us a lasagna so that we can celebrate.

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62200:53:09,100 --> 00:53:13,700- Celebrate?- Yeah, we got our first official wedding gifts tod

ay.

62300:53:13,900 --> 00:53:19,600- You are now the proud owner of a cupcake carrierand acheque for 100 bucks.- Awesome.

62400:53:21,000 --> 00:53:24,560- Oh, hey, um, sorry about last night.- Last night?

62500:53:25,050 --> 00:53:29,340- I should've called and let you know I wasn't going tocome home.

- Oh, did you not come back? I didn't notice.

62600:53:30,200 --> 00:53:37,010- Oh. OK, well, good.- And we're just fake fiances, Vince, remember? It's notlike we're really in love.

62700:53:38,200 --> 00:53:39,020- I got it.

62800:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,150You know, at some point we're going to have to talk about ourvows.

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62900:53:43,760 --> 00:53:47,700- Don't we just repeat what the reverend says?- Ugh, church vows are so cold and impersonal.

63000:53:48,200 --> 00:53:51,800Yeah, I'd hate for our fake vows at our fake wedding to not be from the heart.

63100:53:51,801 --> 00:53:57,279Look, all of my family are friends are gonna be the

re. If the vows are gonna befake, I'd still like for them to be impressive.

63200:53:57,280 --> 00:53:58,830Can't you just read a poem or something?

63300:53:59,120 --> 00:54:02,450Okay, you know what? Never mind. I'll write your vo

ws for you. You don'thave to worry about it.

63400:54:03,340 --> 00:54:05,400- What about your vows?- What do you mean?

63500:54:05,960 --> 00:54:09,600You get to write exactly what you want me to say. What about what you'regoing to say to me?

63600:54:10,400 --> 00:54:12,189I thought I'd just read a poem or something.

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63700:54:12,190 --> 00:54:14,700What? No, I don't think so. You know what? I'm gonna write your vows.

63800:54:14,710 --> 00:54:16,800- Fine.- Can I get a piece of paper?

63900:54:18,450 --> 00:54:21,000- Got an extra pen?- What is that?

64000:54:22,740 --> 00:54:23,600It's a pen.

64100:54:27,210 --> 00:54:27,520Okay.

642

00:54:37,250 --> 00:54:38,400What do you have so far?

64300:54:40,570 --> 00:54:44,550"Jennifer, I don't know how loving a person could be until I met you."

64400:54:46,880 --> 00:54:49,010- What?- I just sound like such a loser.

64500:54:49,011 --> 00:54:50,240You are a loser.

646

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00:54:50,390 --> 00:54:52,320I don't think I could read that with a straight face.

647

00:54:52,321 --> 00:54:54,390Well, I don't know if you can even read, period.

64800:54:54,960 --> 00:54:58,510You know what? Enjoy the lasagna. I've lost my appetite.

649

00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,900Maybe you left it where you were last night.

65000:55:00,901 --> 00:55:03,470Uh.. So now I'm supposed to check with you, my fake fiance.

65100:55:03,471 --> 00:55:06,530

No, because that would be considerate, something you knownothing about.

65200:55:06,531 --> 00:55:13,530Well, for your information, I walked someone home last night,and then I slept at my mom's. Why? I have no idea.

65300:55:16,600 --> 00:55:17,460Hello?

65400:55:18,290 --> 00:55:20,210Oh, my God. OK, I'll be right there.

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65500:55:20,680 --> 00:55:21,740What happened?

656

00:55:22,220 --> 00:55:24,870My sister's in the hospital. She had a car accident.

65700:55:27,900 --> 00:55:29,130Jennifer!

658

00:55:29,490 --> 00:55:31,080Hey, guys.

65900:55:31,930 --> 00:55:32,700Hey.

66000:55:34,390 --> 00:55:35,280Where are Grandma and Grandpa?

66100:55:35,570 --> 00:55:38,110- Inside with Mom and Dad.- They won't let us see Mommy.

66200:55:38,150 --> 00:55:40,940They didn't want Samantha to get scared. I have tostay with her.

66300:55:40,941 --> 00:55:43,170OK, you guys are gonna be OK out here by yourselves fora little while?

664

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00:55:43,330 --> 00:55:46,140- Yep. I'm in charge.- OK, I'll be right back, OK?

665

00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:51,700- Who's he?- Some guy.

66600:56:00,390 --> 00:56:05,550Bonnie? I'm sorry, hon. I'm so sorry.

667

00:56:05,925 --> 00:56:09,010Look, I know our relationship has been rocky.

66800:56:11,440 --> 00:56:13,000What can I say?

66900:56:14,720 --> 00:56:16,040Here's what I can say.

67000:56:18,370 --> 00:56:24,450You're my little sister, so I didn't expect you toget marriedfirst. But you did,

67100:56:24,870 --> 00:56:26,330and I had to deal with that.

67200:56:28,360 --> 00:56:33,870And then Jonathan and Samantha came along, and youguyswere like the picture-perfect family.

673

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00:56:35,075 --> 00:56:40,480And Mom and Dad wanted to spend all their time with youguys, and I just... I felt like an outsider.

67400:56:42,430 --> 00:56:47,000And I admit I was jealous. I'm still jealous.

67500:56:47,100 --> 00:56:52,830But if you could just pull through, I promise I'llput all thatbehind me.

67600:56:55,860 --> 00:57:01,540In fact, I was thinking you'd make a pretty good maid of honour.

67700:57:02,030 --> 00:57:03,980All you had to do was ask.

67800:57:11,390 --> 00:57:12,530Feel better.

67900:57:13,940 --> 00:57:15,780Mom said you were hit by a truck.

68000:57:15,800 --> 00:57:16,690Mom!

68100:57:16,700 --> 00:57:19,940Those weren't the exact words I used.

68200:57:19,950 --> 00:57:28,440

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No, I was getting some of the kids' stuff out of the attic to give to Goodwill,and I accidentally stepped on a TOY TRUCK near thestairs.

68300:57:28,441 --> 00:57:29,900Thank God you're OK.

68400:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,350So, I guess you heard all that, huh?

685

00:57:34,980 --> 00:57:36,000Yeah.

68600:57:38,470 --> 00:57:39,380I love you.

68700:57:41,310 --> 00:57:42,530I love you too.

68800:57:42,700 --> 00:57:44,920Come here. Give me a hug.

68900:57:47,950 --> 00:57:51,310Hope you guys aren't the type of kids who are usedto the adultsletting you win all the time.

69000:57:51,540 --> 00:57:57,350It's not gonna be that way tonight. Oh, no, tonight

this game is on. It's on like a night light.

691

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00:57:58,720 --> 00:57:59,320Let's go.

69200:58:11,740 --> 00:58:13,800

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

69300:58:14,000 --> 00:58:23,650Get rid of this guy! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Whoo!Parade around your leader!

69400:58:32,190 --> 00:58:34,380

He's angry. He's angry.

69500:58:35,250 --> 00:58:36,870He's turning into a monster.

69600:58:37,590 --> 00:58:44,100OK. Now visiting hours are over. Your dad's gonna stay

here tonight, so you kids get to come home with us.

69700:58:44,105 --> 00:58:45,020Come on.

69800:58:45,030 --> 00:58:47,320Unless you guys want to come back toour place with us tonight.

69900:58:47,370 --> 00:58:48,020- Yeah!- Yeah!

700

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00:58:48,025 --> 00:58:49,750Whoo! That's what I thought!

70100:58:52,770 --> 00:58:55,810

OK, good job. Good game.

70200:59:21,660 --> 00:59:25,970So, uh, I guess I'll just sleep in here tonight.

70300:59:27,500 --> 00:59:28,910Hey, Vince, how's your stamina?

70400:59:30,280 --> 00:59:31,510Never had any complaints.

70500:59:31,520 --> 00:59:33,710And how's your lung capacity?

706

00:59:35,710 --> 00:59:36,740Fantastic.

70700:59:37,800 --> 00:59:40,950Great. Then you'll have no problem blowing up the bed.

70800:59:42,987 --> 00:59:43,850Good night.

70901:00:03,580 --> 01:00:04,520What's up, boss?

71001:00:04,700 --> 01:00:05,700

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What have you got for me?

71101:00:05,970 --> 01:00:10,510From the pizza man. Bam.

71201:00:14,290 --> 01:00:15,200Not bad.

71301:00:08,290 --> 01:00:19,300Oh!

71401:00:19,770 --> 01:00:20,960What is this?

71501:00:21,130 --> 01:00:24,260- He only came up with half the cash.- So we took half his finger.

716

01:00:25,640 --> 01:00:26,510What else?

71701:00:26,800 --> 01:00:28,810We paid Vince a visit like you asked.

71801:00:29,240 --> 01:00:30,270- And?

71901:00:35,180 --> 01:00:39,400- They went with the hydrangeas for the centrepieces.- And wisteria for the bouquet.

720

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01:00:40,130 --> 01:00:41,740Nosegay or cascade?

72101:00:42,100 --> 01:00:43,440

I forgot to ask.

72201:00:45,340 --> 01:00:47,700Well, go and find out.

72301:00:48,090 --> 01:00:49,980Pay attention to detail, Truck.

72401:00:50,090 --> 01:00:52,320Pay attention to detail, Truck.

72501:00:55,260 --> 01:01:01,400Come on. You take this one. I've got to tell yousomething, kid. You're pretty good at this thing.

72601:01:01,530 --> 01:01:02,150I know.

72701:01:02,580 --> 01:01:04,470Hey, no more video games. It's time for bed.

72801:01:04,780 --> 01:01:08,510- Oh, come on. Just one more game, Aunt Jen?- Yeah, I'm really behind here.

72901:01:08,540 --> 01:01:12,900I said yes one game ago. Now get in that bed- well,

chair, little man.

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73001:01:13,850 --> 01:01:15,520All right. Let's do it.

73101:01:16,130 --> 01:01:16,960Get in there.

73201:01:18,390 --> 01:01:21,220All right, night, buddy.

733

01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:23,710Aren't you going to tuck me in?

73401:01:24,240 --> 01:01:36,670You... Yeah. Uh, sure. Why not? Um, but be warned,this will bemy first official tucking, all right? There you go. Night-night.

73501:01:38,400 --> 01:01:40,330- Uncle Vince?- Yeah?

73601:01:41,200 --> 01:01:48,980- Are we going home soon?- Oh, you didn't hear? Your mother called earlier,and she saidthat you guys get to stay with us forever.

73701:01:49,180 --> 01:01:52,880- No! I want to go home!- Hey! Calm down. Inside voice.

738

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01:01:52,881 --> 01:01:57,160- What? What happened?- Um, I think I broke him.

739

01:01:57,310 --> 01:02:02,130- Jonathan, tell Aunt Jen what's wrong?- Uncle Vince said Mommy left us here forever.

74001:02:03,640 --> 01:02:07,000- It was a joke.- Uncle Vince was just trying to be funny.

74101:02:07,220 --> 01:02:09,710- But he's not funny.- Yeah, tell me about it.

74201:02:10,160 --> 01:02:16,630- Hey, do you have any favourite night-time stories?- Hmm. um, Peter Pan.

74301:02:16,690 --> 01:02:23,040- Oh, really? I don't think I know that one. Can you...?Can you tell it to me?- OK, well, it's about this kid named Peter Pan.

74401:02:23,270 --> 01:02:32,220- Oh, I like it already.- And also there's this girl, Wendy, and this fairy, Tinker Bell, andthis pirate that has a hook instead of a hand.

74501:02:32,490 --> 01:02:39,230- Oh, really? What else?

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- Well, Peter Pan takes Wendy and her brothers offto Neverland,and they go on an adventure...

746

01:02:50,070 --> 01:02:54,520- I'm sorry you've had to sleep on that air mattress this whole time.- That's all right. It's fine.

74701:02:54,910 --> 01:03:00,100- Well, you haven't complained once. It's almost like you're a real adult.

- That's the worst thing that anyone has ever toldme.

74801:03:06,560 --> 01:03:10,290- Good night, Vince.- Night, Jennifer.

74901:03:18,380 --> 01:03:22,900

- I think you've sprung a leak.- It's a slow leak. I'll be fine.

75001:03:27,620 --> 01:03:29,100- I guess you could sleep up here.

75101:03:31,700 --> 01:03:32,620- Wouldn't that be weird?

75201:03:34,220 --> 01:03:35,760- Just stay on top of the covers.

75301:03:51,340 --> 01:03:51,760Night.

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75401:04:27,320 --> 01:04:28,770Wait. What are we doing?

75501:04:30,080 --> 01:04:33,370- Have you never done this before?- Shut up.

75601:04:38,540 --> 01:04:39,200Who is it?

75701:04:42,420 --> 01:04:45,330- I don't feel so good.- What's the matter, sweetie?

75801:04:45,900 --> 01:04:47,020I have a tummy...

759

01:04:54,860 --> 01:05:01,340- You feel better now? Come on. Uncle Vince will clean you up,all right?- I want Aunt Jennifer to do it.

76001:05:02,040 --> 01:05:05,660You do? Oh, come here. Let Aunt Jen take care of you.

76101:05:12,860 --> 01:05:14,480I knew I should've worn my slippers.

76201:05:55,040 --> 01:06:02,430- Uncle Vince? Uncle Vince?

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- Yeah, buddy?

76301:06:02,580 --> 01:06:05,910- Where's Samantha?

- Um, she's sleeping with your Aunt Jennifer. She's not feeling too good.

76401:06:07,410 --> 01:06:17,320- She's not feeling too good. It's been a, uh, a very interestingnight, little man.- What happened?

76501:06:20,090 --> 01:06:26,880- One day I'll tell you all about it, all right? Maybe when you're in college.- I'm not going to college. Neither is Samantha.

76601:06:27,130 --> 01:06:31,600- Why not?

- I heard Grandpa say they're gonna use our college fund to payfor your wedding.

76701:06:33,110 --> 01:06:37,180- They said that?- Night.

76801:06:57,300 --> 01:07:00,070Dad. Hey.

76901:07:02,420 --> 01:07:06,300Vince? How the hell did you know where to find me?

770

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01:07:06,500 --> 01:07:11,930- It's where Mom always came when she needed to find you,usually with me in tow.- And you remember that?

77101:07:12,960 --> 01:07:21,740- Not much else to remember, Dad.- Well, it's good to see you too. Can I buy you a beer or...

77201:07:21,741 --> 01:07:27,580

- No. I just came here to take care of business.- Oh, come on. Stick around a while, place a couple of bets.

77301:07:27,581 --> 01:07:35,600- I'm giving it up. It was a nasty habit. I'm gonna be breakingthe cycle, I think.- So you're just here for the money?

77401:07:37,560 --> 01:07:48,920- I don't know what I'm here for. Maybe this was amistake.- No, Vince. Vince. Look, I know that life was tough for you, andI'm sorry about that. I realise I'm never gonna befather of the year.

77501:07:50,380 --> 01:08:01,200- I would've settled for just a father.- I hit it pretty big at the track last year. It'sthe big payoff I'vealways been waiting for.

776

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01:08:02,420 --> 01:08:10,700- But after the excitement wore off, I realised I don't have anybodyto celebrate with.- Guess that's what happens when this place is your

 home, Dad.

77701:08:10,701 --> 01:08:17,950- I'm trying to make amends, son. I'd like a second chance. I knowthat I don't deserve one.- You don't.

77801:08:19,330 --> 01:08:22,110All right. All right.

77901:08:23,750 --> 01:08:32,370I'm proud of you, Vince. Falling in love, getting married, creating afamily, it's...

78001:08:33,180 --> 01:08:34,710Hell, I envy you.

78101:08:36,750 --> 01:08:43,590I gambled away the love of my life and my relationship with you.

78201:08:47,900 --> 01:08:50,520That is my biggest regret.

78301:08:56,320 --> 01:09:01,420- I'm gonna find another way to get the money.- Vince, come on. Please. Please.

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78401:09:03,260 --> 01:09:06,330Let me do this much, all right?

785

01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:17,850The wedding's next Saturday 2pm at Peat St Christian.

78601:09:30,280 --> 01:09:34,430- Say goodbye to your aunt Jen-Jen and don't forget to saythank you.

- But where's Uncle Vince?

78701:09:35,100 --> 01:09:39,740Hey! Where do you think I am, buddy? Hey! Oh! Whatthe heck,man?

78801:09:39,741 --> 01:09:46,770

You were going to leave without saying goodbye after allwe've been through? Come on. It's from my father.

78901:09:53,040 --> 01:10:01,450- Are you OK?- I will be. Sorry, kid. Looks like you're going to be going tocollege after all.

79001:10:01,530 --> 01:10:05,760- Come on. Let's go.- I'm gonna miss him.- Don't worry. He's not going anywhere.

791

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01:10:11,860 --> 01:10:14,750- The kids have only been gone a few hours, and I missthem already.- I know.

79201:10:15,150 --> 01:10:19,540- This thing's still got a leak in it.- Listen, about what happened last night...

79301:10:20,550 --> 01:10:25,480- Or didn't happen last night.

- It's probably for the best.

79401:10:28,350 --> 01:10:31,850- Yeah.- I mean, things could get complicated.

79501:10:33,880 --> 01:10:40,510I'm a simple guy. That was a softball. No

comeback there?

79601:10:43,230 --> 01:10:44,390Good night, Vince.

79701:10:50,020 --> 01:10:56,650Well, I don't think I'm going to risk the air mattressagain tonight, so I'll probably, uh, just...

79801:10:58,800 --> 01:11:03,340Night. See you at the rehearsal dinner.

79901:11:17,500 --> 01:11:25,170

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Um, my parents and I couldn't be happier that we have all ofyou here to celebrate Vince and Jennifer's weddingtomorrow.

80001:11:26,070 --> 01:11:30,250It's probably safe to say that many of us never thought thatJennifer would ever get married.

80101:11:33,500 --> 01:11:44,370But she has found this wonderful man who's so funny

, givingand warm. And he obviously adores her.

80201:11:46,200 --> 01:11:52,780I've seen the way that Vince looks at Jennifer when she's notlooking, and I can see what he must see.

803

01:11:55,980 --> 01:12:03,930I look forward to tomorrow.....to seeing my beautiful sisteras happy as I was on my wedding day.

80401:12:06,520 --> 01:12:14,100But more importantly, I look forward to being a part of thelife that Jennifer and Vince make together.

80501:12:16,090 --> 01:12:19,700To Vince and Jennifer, may you live happily ever...

80601:12:20,340 --> 01:12:21,360

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01:13:31,890 --> 01:13:38,450- Now you tell me. It's great timing.- Sorry. You'll have to pay your debt some other way.

81501:13:38,660 --> 01:13:43,160- If I thought of a way to get the money, you think I would'vegone through this?- I'm sorry it's been so terrible.

81601:13:47,330 --> 01:13:54,690

Why don't you go back in there, Jennifer, all right? Tell yourparents that all that money they just spent was for nothing.

81701:13:57,190 --> 01:13:58,130Can you do that?

818

01:13:57,190 --> 01:13:58,130Can you do that?

81901:14:06,880 --> 01:14:09,220Unless you want The Monkey to kill me so you can keepmy television.

82001:14:11,720 --> 01:14:16,190- After the wedding, I never want to see you again. Thank GodI didn't sleep with you.- Oh, you would've loved it.

82101:14:16,191 --> 01:14:18,000

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- Not as much as you would have.- Mm-hm.

82201:14:28,450 --> 01:14:32,720

- How do you tie these things, Steve?- Why didn't you just get the clip-on?

82301:14:33,440 --> 01:14:36,530- I don't know. Maybe I'm getting married, man.- Are you decent?

824

01:14:36,540 --> 01:14:42,520- Yeah.- Wow, you look...dashing.- Thanks. Is she OK? She's still going to go through with this, right?

82501:14:42,660 --> 01:14:49,380Of course she is. She's a little uptight, but that's just the

nervous jitters. But she did ask me to give you this,

82601:14:42,660 --> 01:14:49,380Of course she is. She's a little uptight, but that's just thenervous jitters. But she did ask me to give you this,

82701:14:56,490 --> 01:15:03,030- OK- It's really sweet, you know, exchanging love letters right before the ceremony.

82801:15:04,870 --> 01:15:08,220

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- There you go.- Yay, brother!

82901:15:10,350 --> 01:15:19,050

- Oh, um... yeah, you know what? We're almost ready to go, so you mightwant to tie that tie.- Okay.

83001:15:21,800 --> 01:15:25,240Just think of it as a shoelace for your neck.

83101:15:37,390 --> 01:15:41,690- Hey.- Hey. I'm a friend of Vic's. We met last week.

83201:15:41,700 --> 01:15:44,650- Vince.- Right, Vince.

83301:16:31,720 --> 01:16:33,140OK. OK.

83401:16:49,390 --> 01:16:50,860Wait. Close the doors.

83501:16:54,450 --> 01:16:58,180- Honey, it's time.- I don't think I can do this.

83601:16:58,470 --> 01:17:02,210- Of course you can.- No. Vince and I...

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83701:17:02,220 --> 01:17:10,350- Jennifer, listen to me. Your mother and I alwaysdoubtedyou'd even get married...

- I know, Dad. Thanks.

83801:17:10,440 --> 01:17:22,030..because we never thought you'd meet anybody worthy of allyou had to offer. I couldn't be prouder of the woman you've become.

83901:17:24,650 --> 01:17:27,110And I'm really sorry I haven't always told you that.

84001:17:35,160 --> 01:17:37,530- Dad, I just need to tell you...- Sweetheart.

84101:17:42,430 --> 01:17:50,900I know you're scared. And as hard as it's gonna befor me to giveyou away, I know you're gonna be in good hands.

84201:17:51,220 --> 01:17:52,230Vince loves you.

84301:17:59,320 --> 01:18:00,000OK?

84401:18:23,500 --> 01:18:26,220- Wow.- I know.

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84501:18:53,020 --> 01:19:01,480Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join this man and this

woman in the sacred bonds of holy matrimony.

84601:19:01,750 --> 01:19:10,500I have had the chance to spend time with Jennifer and Vince, and theirunusually strong feelings for one another are, well, quite apparent.

84701:19:11,190 --> 01:19:20,120I've done this job long enough to know when a couple is getting marriedfor the wrong reasons.Some they're in love with anidealised version,

84801:19:20,121 --> 01:19:30,350of the person they are marrying. Others feel that t

hey are simply too oldto be single any more. And some... Well, some justwant all the gifts.

84901:19:38,070 --> 01:19:39,140That's ridiculous.

85001:19:39,150 --> 01:19:49,320But what they don't realise is that marriage is a journey. Awonderful, exciting and, at times, excruciating journey.

85101:19:51,260 --> 01:19:52,200Am I right?

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85201:19:55,185 --> 01:20:05,530But Jennifer and Vince, they see each other for who they really are.

There are no rose-coloured glasses on these two, not at all.

85301:20:06,180 --> 01:20:11,720They are standing here today committing to each other,knowing full well what they're getting into.

85401:20:13,590 --> 01:20:18,750The couple has elected to recite their own vows. Vince?

85501:20:19,080 --> 01:20:21,110- Yeah?- The vows.

85601:20:21,280 --> 01:20:22,250Oh, right.

85701:20:29,110 --> 01:20:36,070Jennifer, I didn't know how loving a personcould be until I met you.

85801:20:42,610 --> 01:20:45,220I can't. I just cannot do this.

85901:20:51,500 --> 01:20:53,780- I've got to speak from the heart here.- Uh-uh.

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86001:20:54,190 --> 01:21:00,350Jennifer, you are the most frustrating personI have ever met.

86101:21:00,830 --> 01:21:11,260You are opinionated and stubborn, and at times, really,really, really bossy.

86201:21:16,060 --> 01:21:24,620And that is why I've fallen in love with you. I did

n't planon it, believe me. It just happened. And along theway, I...

86301:21:26,550 --> 01:21:37,890..noticed your generosity, your kindness, your great senseof humour and just your basic sense of decency.

86401:21:41,720 --> 01:21:49,170You're an amazing woman, Jennifer. And I will be proudto call you my wife.

86501:21:56,300 --> 01:21:58,060Jennifer, it's your turn now.

86601:22:02,320 --> 01:22:03,500Read your vows.

86701:22:21,490 --> 01:22:22,770It was my grandmother's.

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86801:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,950We're not quite to the rings yet.

869

01:22:30,200 --> 01:22:31,170What do you say?

87001:22:38,010 --> 01:22:49,200You know, I pride myself on being able to read people. When I metyou, Vince, I thought you were sloppy and lazy anda ladies' man

87101:22:50,030 --> 01:22:59,750And I was right. In fact, that was all I could see. But every day thatI've spent with you I have found little things that I love about you,

87201:23:01,140 --> 01:23:09,190

like the way you light up when your mom walks in aroom or theway you make my niece and nephew laugh. And ever since then,

87301:23:09,191 --> 01:23:14,720I just... I don't know, I just love all those little things about you.

87401:23:18,110 --> 01:23:19,360I love you, Vince.

87501:23:25,940 --> 01:23:30,060- Is that a yes?- Yes. Yes.

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87601:23:32,470 --> 01:23:33,500Yes.

87701:23:35,880 --> 01:23:42,290Guys, the kissing comes later too. We're still at the vows. Oh, um,Vince, do you take Jennifer to be your lawful wedded wife?

87801:23:42,291 --> 01:23:49,100

Jennifer, do you take Vince to be your lawful wedded husband?Um, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may do that.

87901:24:30,770 --> 01:24:33,410- Touching ceremony.- Thank you.

88001:24:33,700 --> 01:24:38,420Mr Monkey, we're gonna pay you back. If you want adown payment,you can just take a gift off the gift table.

88101:24:38,940 --> 01:24:44,370- I like your style. Vince, you did well.- I know

88201:24:44,880 --> 01:24:46,850Which is why I'm forgiving your debt.

88301:24:46,900 --> 01:24:47,910- Really?

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- Really?

88401:24:48,310 --> 01:24:57,370Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you

 can getyourself a blender. To the happy couple! Salut!

88501:24:57,400 --> 01:25:57,370Of course not. But I will knock off 75 bucks so you can getyourself a blender. To the happy couple! Salut!

88601:25:11,300 --> 01:25:16,190- Oh, my God, we're married. We're really married.- I know. We are so lucky.

88701:25:17,430 --> 01:25:21,730I still feel kind of bad about deceiving everybody. Do youthink we should tell them?

88801:25:21,980 --> 01:25:27,670- Now? What? Are you kidding? Your aunt just bought us thatcoffee maker you wanted.- Yeah, but it was all a lie.

88901:25:29,000 --> 01:25:36,480It's a lie that came true, though. I love you, honey. I mean, wecan... give back all the stuff. Nothing's gonna change that.

89001:25:45,860 --> 01:25:46,910I love you, Vince.

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