my version of modern cinderella story

BY KAKAJAN HAYTLYYEV

When I was young, it was a time when dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures were alive. No, actually I was young way later when they all died.

Anyway, there was a time when a person could only be called a “Star” when he or she has demonstrated the real talent. We could tell who is singing this song for the first chords of music. These people have demonstrated clearly what true talent means. Even today all these songs did not lose their charm and relevance. The same I would say about actors, writers, movie directors, etc.

Today things are quite different. They all sound the same, look the same, talk the same way, etc. Therefore, I wonder what would be a story of Cinderella in today’s environment. So, I decided to come up with possible version. Here it is.

The girl’s name is Delfi. I am sure you would agree, it is quite an

unusual name. I think this name was given to her because of her

late mother, Amanda, was so obsessed with celebrities and

anything that was related to their lives. She read only tabloids

and did not watch anything else except E Channel.

So when Delfi was born, Amanda said that she will not give a

name to her newly born baby girl until she finds something really

unique. I guess this idea came to her mind after E Channel’s

show about unusual names which celebrities choose for their

children. And who would argue with such creative approach?

As soon as you learn that celebrities name their children Pilot

Inspector, Blanket or North West, who would want to give a

regular name to their child. In fact, we shall recommend to our

lawmakers to adopt a specific set of legislation which would

deprive parental rights those who give regular names to their

babies.

Initially, Amanda thought that maybe she should come up with

the name that relates to something sweet. But when she learned

that the name Apple is already taken, she couldn’t find any other

fruit that would be good enough to ensure uniqueness. Amanda

very quickly realised that vegetables are not suitable for it either.

Therefore, she decided to come up with an abbreviation that

consists of the first letter of the fist name of her favourite

celebrities. I really cannot tell who those celebrities really are,

but who cares.

Unfortunately, Amanda died shortly after Delfi’s birth due to

anorexia. If you remember, there was a time when fashion

industry was aggressively promoting certain body image.

Millions of women were convinced that food shall not stay in their

stomach longer than a period of time within which a teenager

can last at his first sexual intercourse.

It was a time when women, shortly after finishing their meal,

were lining up to the toilet at the restaurant, making toilets

impossible to be used for its original purpose. All these women

couldn’t wait to get on their knees and hold a toilet seat to enjoy

all benefits of bulimia.

And who would blame them? It must be a pick of satisfaction to

see how your food which you have just consumed is coming out

of your mouth in a form of puree mixed with stomach acid. I also

think that most of them enjoyed aftertaste as well. I came to this

conclusion when I realised that I did not like the taste of whisky

when I tried it for the first time, but now I really like it. It is called

an acquired taste.

Anyway, when Amanda died, Delfi’s father, Dick, could not deal

with it. Amanda was the only person whom he really trusted. He

started to use cocaine and got addicted to it. Eventually, he had

to leave his office because he was forced to resign.

He really had to resign for many reasons. He worked as a Vice

President in one of the very influential banking corporations.

Many people then gossiped that it was God’s punishment for

Dick because he made a lot of money by selling financial

products to his clients that lead to a bankruptcy of many of them.

Dick also did not think twice if he saw an opportunity to make a

couple of hundreds of millions of dollars even if it was clearly in

breach of existing regulations.

Although Dick lost his job, it was crystal clear to everyone that

he and his daughter have so much at their disposal that even

Dick’s grandchildren will not have to work until they die and still

enjoy all benefits of very wealthy and comfortable reality.

Dick was a cynical and very pragmatic person. He was also very

influential for many reasons, both positive and not so much.

Therefore, other influential people in every financial centre

around the globe were a bit scared of him. I am sure that you

would like to ask why they were scared? Well, it was kinda inner

secret that was known almost to all of them, which is this – Dick

somehow had information on almost everyone in the industry

that would make them do anything that Dick would “request”.

Once upon a time, people like Dick were rejected by society.

Back then everybody believed in timeless values. But it was a

very long time ago and things have changed since then.

Nowadays people like Dick are welcomed, respected and doors

of the most prestige clubs, houses and charity associations are

widely open for them.

Nobody questions origins of Dick-like-people wealth. Why

bother? Besides, today’s societies around the world finally

found the most effective way to rank others. Currently, the level

of respect is defined in direct correlation with the number in your

bank account, or accounts. Quite practical, isn’t it?

Why trouble yourself with other irrelevant questions? It is a

waste of time. Besides, the danger of not following established

rules precisely is absolutely clear. Before you know it, you would

begin to think of those people who claim that they cannot afford

basic things and therefore minimum wage needs to be raised for

few dollars an hour. What a pathetic excuse to exploit the very

idea and generosity of free market. Terrible!

Or worse still, you may start thinking about people from so called

3rd world countries who were entrusted to sew all these

fabulous designer’s creations. However, instead of expressing

their deep appreciation they constantly complain with no reason

whatsoever that they are not paid enough and work very long

hours in inhumane conditions. We as representatives of the free

and the democratic world shall tell them this – Honey, no pain,

no gain. How dare they to complain when we give them jobs.

Ridiculous! All these people are nothing but a just bunch of lazy

guys.

Anyway, I digressed.

So, Delfi grew up in a very comfortable environment. She had an

unlimited monthly allowance and her wardrobe was filled with

very best clothes money can buy. Who needs love when you

cannot decide what to wear today, Armani, Oscar de la Renta or

D&G? I really feel for her. What a terrible choice. But as you

probably guessed, she was not a stranger to such difficult

choices and that made her a very strong girl. They say, what

does not kill you, make you stronger. So true…. so true.

She was not exactly a beautiful girl, but she was not unattractive

either. She had big and very expressive blue eyes. Probably her

eyes were her best features. Actually, her eyes were just as

attractive as eyes of Ellen DeGeneres. Oh, by the way, does Ellen

have anything to do with it? Uhmmmm. No, most likely not,

otherwise it would be known to public sooner or later. Or, wait a

second, Amanda decided to give this name to her baby girl

because it is consists of the first letter of the first name of her

favourite celebrities. Does “e” stand for Ellen? Ok, now I need to

stop because it is only my speculation………..or is it?

Neveryoumind, let’s move on.

She had long nice hair. I cannot tell you what her original hair

colour was because she constantly changed it. People did not

know what hair colour she would have next week. This is how

unpredictable she was. Most likely she was doing it because she

had some sort of physiological/emotional issue. It is difficult to

say because in today’s world we call it fashion forward.

Fortunately for Delfi, unlike her mother, she was not obsessed

with her body shape. Delfi was neither thin nor overweight.

Maybe because by the time she was 16, standards of body image

have started to change. Even fashion industry realised this trend

at a very early stage and started to hire models who have curves.

They even came up with the special term “A + model”. However,

nobody explained whether “+” means “+ unacceptable number

of extra kilos”.

Since there was no explanation what “+” really means, the

number of dramatically overweight celebrities started to grow

way faster than the economy of China during its peak. Suddenly

it was not acceptable to criticise heavy bodies and various TV

channels began to say that those celebrities actually look

beautiful. Millions of people who believe that whatever is said on

TV actually represents an undisputable truth started to follow it.

And no one noticed that due to political correctness, the

standards shifted from one unhealthy shape to another.

But who really cares about what problems unhealthy body shape

can cause? Only idiots trouble themselves with issues which

only complicate and make absolutely inconvenient our day to

day reality. We really shouldn’t pay any attention to their opinion

because we know what is really important. The most important

are to follow standards which mass media has defined for us. We

are smart enough to understand that it is vital to have the solid

assurance that we are not misunderstood by other people

because the image is everything. Besides we shall not forget

simple but timeless wisdom - beauty requires scarifies.

Anyway, a few days ago our Delfi celebrated her milestone

birthday which provided her with the most important and vital

legal right like drinking alcohol openly. She felt like now she is

finally free and knows what real life is all about.

Her girlfriends were typical representatives of her social circle.

All of them looked alike with very similar hair extension and fake

eyelashes. They had the same type of voice. It sounded like they

want to show that they are actually very tired of their wealthy life,

completely lost and do not know what to do with their wealthy

lives. Their body language clearly manifested that they are so

bored because it is almost impossible to impress them.

They were also more or less at the same level intellectually. In

their mind, Africa was a country. However, they couldn’t recall

what Africa’s capital city was. Once one of them said that it is

Kuala Lumpur and all of them felt very proud of themselves that

they now a bit wiser as they learnt something new. Whether

Kuala Lumpur is really a capital city of Africa was not important

to them. In the end, who cares, it sounds exotic.

These girls were not exactly interested in politics but if someone

would ask them they all as one would say that they are

Republicans and Sara Palin was their idol. In their opinion, Sara

Palin was truly a forward-looking woman. They were convinced

that Sara could see further than anyone else. Well, it is difficult

to argue with them because who else without any special

equipment can see Russia from their porch.

By the way, if you do not know who are Republicans or Sara

Palin, please watch Real Time with Bill Maher. He will be able to

explain it to you in the best possible manner. I hope you get the

picture. However, if you don’t, please refer to the reality show

called Keeping up with Kardashians and you will understand

what I mean.

I specifically do not want to describe these girls further in details

because it is a waste of time. All I can say is that all of them

looked polished and shiny but absolutely empty inside.

So, the society continued to spin around fake values that made

people’s spiritual world a bit poorer day by day. And for them,

nothing suggested that big change is just around the corner. I

don’t blame those people who could not predict that upcoming

change is going to shake the world economy so dramatically. For

many people, the change would happen so quickly that when

they wake up tomorrow, it will look like a totally different planet.

One downside, though. It will look really ugly.

Nobody could actually predict it. It was impossible. Crude oil

prices were shooting up like petroleum companies announced

that they produce last drops of oil. Leading stock markets were

soaring. Corporations paid bonuses to their executives that

were slightly bigger than the budget of a small country. So,

everyone jumped in to grab as much as they could as it was

widely accepted that material wealth shall be used as the only

definitive measurement for anything, including human life.

So, Delfi’s father Dick was sure that all investments he has made

are secure. His confidence was absolutely solid. In his opinion

how can it be otherwise? He knows the industry inside out and

he consulted with leading financial advisors before he made the

final decision to invest. He could not imagine that the very

industry he thought he knew would play such a cruel joke with

him.

When Dick learnt about the collapse of Lehman Brothers, initially

he could not believe it. At the same time he could not stop staring

at the huge flat TV screen and for a moment he had an

impression that his head is about to explode. Dick was

completely paralysed. He could not move. His heart suddenly

shrank to a microscopic size. He felt like someone sucked out

every molecule of oxygen by gigantic vacuum.

Little by little he realised that impossible happened. He knew

that it is going to be something the industry has never seen

before. It is going to be something the whole world has never

seen before. No existing official definition would be able to

describe the entire scale of the disaster that about to hit with

immense force each and every person on this planet. He knew

that so many lives will be affected, including his own. Suddenly

it all become so clear to him – this is the end of the era.

That’s right, I am talking about 2008 global meltdown.

TO BE CONTINUED

my version of modern cinderella story

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