My “Stop Doing” List Experiment

Marquita Herald Emotionally Resilient Living

INTRODUCTION

Some say “To Do” lists don’t work, that a better way to go is to create

a “Stop Doing” list. I’ve always been a list maker, so I decided to give this a try, but I wanted it to

be something that would go beyond a simple list. I wanted to make a statement that expressed

feelings and intentions. My journal proved to be the

perfect tool. See what you think, and maybe come up with a few

of your own!

SPENDING TIME WITH THE WRONG

PEOPLE

Life is too short to spend time with people who are

unsupportive, disregard my feelings, dismiss my dreams, and generally suck the energy out of me. They may be “good

people,” they just aren’t good FOR me.

PUTTING MYSELF LAST

I enjoy being there for the people in my life. The bigger issue is that I’ve allowed the

needs of others to repeatedly take priority over my own. I’ve finally come to understand that

caring for myself isn’t being selfish, it’s critical to my health,

happiness and emotional well-being.

STORING MENTAL CLUTTER

For too long I have been carrying the baggage of past

regrets, unresolved emotional issues, and grudges. But I am DONE allowing this clutter

to weigh me down. I will resolve what I can, purge what I can’t, and free myself to find peace so I can focus on the things

and people that really matter.

LOOKING FOR QUICK FIXES

Looking for quick fixes and short cuts has become a habit.

The problem is they seldom work, at least not for long. And sometimes, they make things worse. From now on I’m going

to fix my problems the right way, the first time. I will not only achieve better results, I will grow stronger and more

confident in the process.

LETTING EVENTS DEFINE ME

I can’t control everything that happens to me, but I can control

how I respond. From now on I will claim it all - the joy and the

heartache, the successes and the failures. Instead of obstacles, I

choose to see these events as priceless experiences along an amazing journey to grow into

the powerful person I am meant to be.

SAYING I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH TIME

The truth is I make time for the things that I consider priorities,

even if it’s just responding to the people yelling the loudest for my attention. Blaming lack

of time just makes inaction easier to justify, especially to myself. ENOUGH! It’s time to

get real about what my priorities have been, and what

I want them to be going forward.

LOOKING TO OTHERS TO MAKE ME HAPPY

It’s not the job of other people to make me happy, anymore

than it is my job to make others happy. I am responsible for my

own happiness. If I spend all my time trying to make everyone happy, everyone will be happy but me! The best thing I can do to contribute to the happiness

of others, is to be a happy person myself.

SETTLING FOR LESS THAN I DESERVE

It’s surprisingly easy to grow accustom to settling for less. A simple compromise here and

there turns into the new norm, and once you settle in one area of your life it becomes so much

easier to settle in others. But I’m done settling because I deserve

better then a life that is simply good enough.

WAITING TO LIVE

Too much of life is spent waiting to live. Waiting until we’re ready, waiting for the

right people or circumstances, waiting for permission to do,

be and have what we want. But no one is going to magically

swoop in and give me permission to finally go for it! It’s time to name what I want,

claim it, and OWN it!

TAKING SMALL MOMENTS FOR GRANTED

No question, life can feel awfully serious at times. But occasionally all the right bits

and pieces come together and just for one small,

magical moment, there isn’t a care in the world. I suspect

it’s possible to experience more of these moments if

we open ourselves to it. I’m going to give it a try!

BEING AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP

Call it pride, fear of being obligated, lack of trust.

Whatever. I know I’m not the only one who dreads having to ASK for help. But I’ve tried it,

and it wasn’t so bad. In fact, I’ve discovered that most people genuinely want to help. I’ve

discovered something else, we don’t get extra credit

for going it alone in life.

TRYING TO CHANGE PEOPLE

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that other people aren’t always going to behave the way I want them to. I really only have control over my feelings, beliefs and actions. I can show

others the way I want to be treated, but they will do what they are going to do. It’s up to me to accept them as they are,

or walk away.

RESISTING CHANGE

Change is hard. The uncertainty, the discomfort of having to learn

new things, let new people into my life, and worry over all the things that could go wrong. I’ve felt all

these things, but I’ve also seen that the times in my life when I’ve grown

the most have been during times of change. So I’m going to stop resisting and welcome change with open arms. BRING IT ON!

ENDLESSLY WORRYING

Worry is exhausting and yet there's a false sense of comfort because it feels like I’m doing what I need to do to come up

with a solution to a problem … one that rarely exists beyond my fertile imagination. This

is a destructive habit that I am committed to breaking by

learning to manage thoughts and emotions, and developing my

problem solving skills.

LISTENING TO SELF-LIMITING

BELIEFS

It’s so easy to do. You tell yourself that you’re just being cautious, that you’re not quite ready yet. I finally realized I’ve

been holding back, that the barriers to achieving my

dreams have been within me all along and it’s time to

BREAK FREE!

THINKING IT’S TOO LATE

As long as I’m still breathing and able to write these words,

then it is not too late to go after what I want.

PERIOD.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

What would you add to your own Stop Doing list that would

liberate you to focus on the things and people that matter

most to you?

Emotionally Resilient Living

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in charge of your life.

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