My Life in Twenty Graphs

Tom Scott

Number of times per dayyou post toTwitter

Arat’s ass

Two hoots

A damn

A monkey’s

A hootAmount I could give

0 51 2 3 4

Effort requiredto post

Commentsreceived

Average perceived

intelligence of audience

InternetComments

Hours per day spentatwork

Probabili

ty ofm

yresign

ation

0 963 12

2

0

1

Number of audiences

I’ve shown this

chartto

Number of audiences

who laughed at it

Percentage of people that understandthe difference between line graphs and bar graphs100%

0%

50%

Understand Do not understand

Propriety of“your mum” jokesby location

With close friends Atwork Audience with

thePope

Withyour mum

Pantomime

Ohyes

it is

Oh no

it isn’t

Time I intendto goto bed

Time I actual

ly goto bed

9pm 10pm 11pm 12am 1am 2am 3am

about2am

How much I app

reciat

emy BlackBer

ry

Number of people tryingto contact me

Time spent in academia

Chance of being

known as“that guy”

Procrastination

Willingnessto

leave

Actualreal-world

achievement

2am

“I should really

goto bed.”

Check RSSfeeds

one last time

“Ooh, that’s

quitecool.”

Look it up

onWikipedia

Click links in

articletext

“Noway, that

can’t bereal”

Lookforrelated

video onYouTube

“Aww, lookat the

littlekitten”

Danger

Awesome

Real Life

YouTube

Amount of flashy graphics

Inform

ation conv

eyed

Disturbing freaksof nature

Normal, well-adjustedmembers of society

People who arered-green colourblind

Time and effort spent on idea

Chance of success

How much theDJ talks

How much I

want them

to die

Me

Morrissey

Time spent in America

Probability of

using thewords

“cell phone”

“Ohmygod, like,

your accent is,

like,totallycool”

Expectation of

freerefillsat

diners

Weight

Do it

Don’t do itAwesome

Effort

2

0

1

Number of audiences

I’ve shown this

chartto

Number of audiences

who laughed at it

Dicks

Hecklers

People with

lives

People who

care about

the difference

between“graph”

and “chart”