my favourite pet by gabe dodd as long as i can remember, i’ve always wanted a dog. well that need...

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My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd

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Page 1: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

My Favourite PetBy Gabe Dodd

Page 2: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog. This story that I’m about to tell you had changed my life, about my lifestyle and my emotions towards animals and my family.

It all started when I used to watch programs on the television ; a lot of these shows were about dogs.

Mary Swayne
six
Page 3: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

So one day after school, unexpectedly my mum told me she was giving my sister and I a surprise. 10 minutes had passed, and then I see a sign saying “RSPCA”. I knew that company; I’d seen ads for it.

Mary Swayne
'me' rather than 'I'
Mary Swayne
ten
Mary Swayne
saw
Mary Swayne
More an organisation than a company Gabe.
Page 4: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

Next minute Mum parks the car and we get out and the only thing I can hear are dogs. I enter the place where the cages are and see a baby dog barking at me with the highest pitch I’ve ever heard in my life.

Mary Swayne
parked You're using past tense. You'll need to check your story carefully - I'll mark the others you need to change in red.
Mary Swayne
puppy? little puppy?
Mary Swayne
I'd
Page 5: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

I wanted that dog but my mother didn’t want it at the time. She wanted the Dalmatian and my sister wanted the poodle but they eventually found out that those dogs were very sick and that we would have to wait six months before they could be retrieved.

Page 6: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

After bringing my dog home, a couple of days later, my family had to think of a name for him. After playing way too much Ratchet & Clank I needed to call my dog Ratchet. We all agreed, so Ratchet was his name.

Mary Swayne
decided?
Mary Swayne
Really nice touch.
Page 7: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

6 years later……

After 6 years my mum had had enough of the dog that I loved. He was too hard to control she said constantly to me. She told me that she had organised that Ratchet would be taken to a farm where he could live for the rest of his life.

I didn’t cry but I my heart was sinking to the bottom of my body. We put him in the car tied up. When we got to the farm we said our good byes. I hugged him with all my energy and then we had to leave.

For the next week I just didn’t talk to my mum… I gave her the silent treatment. I’ve used too many words so far so I guess this is the end of this.

Mary Swayne
Excellent choice of word.
Mary Swayne
Would 'couldn't' be more accurate?
Mary Swayne
Can you find a better visual that reflects your emotion more authentically?
Page 8: My Favourite Pet By Gabe Dodd As long as I can remember, I’ve always wanted a dog. Well that need became real and at the age of 6 I had received my dog

[email protected] Dodd