mr spock is dreamy

5/10/2018 Mr Spock is Dreamy - slidepdf.com

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/mr-spock-is-dreamy 1/3

MR. SPOCK IS DREAMY!by ISAAC ASIMOV(First published in TV Guide April 29, 1967)

A revolution of incalculable importance may be sweeping America, thanks to television. And thanks particularly STAR TREK, which, in its noble and successful effort to present good science fiction to the American public, has also presented e

veryone with an astonishing revelation.

I was put onto the matter by my blonde, blue-eyed, and beautiful daughter, who is just turning twelve and who, in all the practical matters that count, is moreclear-sighted than I.

It happened one evening when we were watching STAR TREK together and holding ourbreath while Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock faced a menace of overwhelming proporti

ons.

Captain Kirk (for those, if any, who are not STAR TREK fans) is a capable hero and a full-blooded human. Mr. Spock is half-alien and is a creature of pure reaso

n and no emotion. Naturally Captain Kirk responded to every danger with an appropriate twist of his handsome and expressive face. Spock, however, kept his long,serene face unmoved. Not for an instant did he allow emotion to dim the thought

ful gleam of his eye; not for a split second did he allow that long face to growshorter.

And my daughter said, "I think Mr. Spock is dreamy!"

I started! If my daughter said Mr. Spock was dreamy, then he was dreamy to the entire feminine population of the world, for my daughter is plugged into that vague something called "femininity" and her responses are infallible.

But how could that be? Mr. Spock dreamy? He had a strong face, of course, but it

was so solemn and serious, so cool; his eyebrows were drawn so outward and upward, and his large ears came to such a long, sharp upper point.

How could he compare with full-blooded Earthlings with normal ears and eyebrows,who were suave, sophisticated, and devilishly handsome to boot? Like me, for in

stance, just to pick an example at random.

"Why is he dreamy?" I asked my daughter.

"Because," she said, "hes so smart!"

There's no doubt about it. I have asked other girls and they agree. Through the

agency of Mr. Spock, STAR TREK has been capitalizing upon a fact not generally known among the male half of the population.

Women think being smart is sexy!

Do you know what this means to me? Can you imagine what a load of guilt it has taken off my back? Can you imagine what a much greater load of vain regret it hasput on my back?

But, heaven help me, it wasn't my fault. I was misled. When I was young I read books about children; books for which Tom Sawyer was the prototype. Anyone else old enough to remember those books?

Remember the kid hero? Wasn't he a delightful little chap? Wasn't he manly? He played hooky all the time and went swimming at the old swimming hole. Remember? He never knew his lessons; he swiped apples; he used bad grammar and threw rocks



at cats. You remember.

And do you remember that little sneaky kid we all hated so? He was an unbearablewretch who wore clean clothes, and did his lessons, and got high marks, and spo

ke like a dude. All the kids hated him, and so did all the readers. Rotten little smart kid!

As I read such stories, I realized that because I had known no better I had unwittingly been committing the terrible sin of doing well at school. Oh, I did my best to change and follow the paths of rectitude and virtue, and dip girls' pigtails in inkwells and draw nasty pictures of the teacher on my slate, and steal apumpkinbut girls didn't have pigtails and I didn't have a slate and nobody I knewacross the length and breadth of Brooklyn's slums had any idea of what a pumpki

n was.

And when the teacher would ask a question, I would, quite automatically and without thinking, give the right answerand there I would be. Sunk in vice again! Talkabout a monkey on your back!

There was no way out. By the time I was in high school I realized I was rotten clean through and all I could do was hope the FBI never saw my report card.

Then, somewhere late in high school, I became aware of an even more serious difficulty! I had been noticing for a while that girls didn't look quite as awful asI had earlier thought. I was even speculating that there might be some purpose

in wasting some time in speaking to one or two of them, if I could figure out how one went about it. I decided the place to learn was the movies, since these often concerned themselves with this very problem.

Remember those movie heroes? Strong, solemn, and with a vocabulary of ten easy words and fifteen grunts? And remember the key sentence in every one of those pictures?

You don't? Well, Ill tell you. Some girl is interested in the movie hero. She sees something in him she does not see in any other character in the film, and I was keenly intent on finding what that something might be.

To be sure, the hero was taller and stronger and handsomer and better dressed than any other male in the picture, but surely this was purely superficial. No female would be in the least attracted to such mere surface characteristics. Therehad to be something deep and hidden, and I recognized what this might be in thatkey sentence I mentioned.

The woman says to her girl friend, "I love that big lug!" Or sometimes she says

to the hero himself, "I love you, you big lug!"

That was it! Hollywood was of the definite opinion that for a man to be attractive to women he had to be a big lug. I ran to Webster's (second edition) to lookup the word and found no less than eight definitions. Definition number eight was: "A heavy or clumsy lout; a blockhead."

It was school all over again. I could manage being clumsy but I could never keepup that blockhead business long. Id be doing fine for a while, glazing my eyes,

and remembering to say "Duh" when spoken to. But, sooner or later, at some unguarded moment, I would say something rational, and bitter shame would overcome me.It was no use; I could never attain that glorious lughood that would have put m

e at ease with women.

I got married at last, somehow. My theory is that the young lady who married memust have seen that under my suave man-of-the-world exterior, there was a lout a



nd a blockhead striving for expression. So she married me for inner beauty.

Then came television. Remember the husbands in the situation comedies? Stupid, right? Have you ever seen one who could tie his shoes without help? Have you everseen one smart enough to put anything over on his wife? Or on his five-year-oldniece for that matter?

That was one thing all situation comedies had in commonthe stupidity of the husband. The other things were the smartness of the wife and the depth of her love for her husband.

These points can't be unconnected, can they? Anyone can see that the only deduction to draw from this is that wives, being smart, love their husbands because they are stupid.

All I can say is that for years and years I have done my best to be a stupid husband. My wife, loyal creature that she is, has assured me over and over again that I have succeeded beyond my wildest dreams and that I am the stupidest husbandwho ever lived. She seems so sincere when she says it, and yet I have always ha

d to ask: Is it merely her kind heart speaking? Can she be just flattering me?

And then, then, came this blinding revelation. Here I had been watching STAR TREK since its inception because I like it, because it is well done, because it isexciting, because it says things (subtly and neatly) that are difficult to say in "straight" drama, and because science fiction, properly presented, is the typeof literature most appropriate to our generation.

But it hadn't occurred to me that Mr. Spock was sexy. I had never realized thatsuch a thing was possible; that girls palpitate over the way one eyebrow goes upa fraction; that they squeal with passion when a little smile quirks his lip. A

nd all because hes smart!

If I had only known! If I had only known!

But I am spreading the word now. It may be far too late for me (well, almost), but there is a new generation to consider! Men! Men everywhere! Don't list to thelies! I have learned the secret at last. It is sexy to be smart! Do you hear me

, men? Relax and be your natural selves! Stop aiming at lughood. Its sexy to be smart!

Just one thing bothers me. Can it be Mr. Spock's ears? Websters (second edition)gives that blockhead definition as its eighth. Its definition number two for thesame word is "ear." Could it be that when a girl says, "I love you, you big lug

," she means the man's ears are as big as Mr. Spocks?

Well, just in case, while I'm being smart, I'll also let my ears grow.

mr spock is dreamy

Documents