mplszine - the work issue

64
MPLSzine W O R K I S S U E

Upload: mpls-collective

Post on 10-Mar-2016

215 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

DESCRIPTION

MPLSzine, a submissions-based collaborative digital publication, is the latest project powered by the forces of MPLS Collective, a cornerstone for creative projects in Minneapolis. Cover by: Nick Howard Layout by: Clarissa Hamiilton

TRANSCRIPT

Page 1: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 1

MPLSzine

W O R K I S S U E

Page 2: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK2

Page 3: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 3

Work Issue - January 22, 2013

CONTENTS

OVERQUALIFIEDOn the bright side, you have other skills.

RESUMÉErin Sayer shares her artistic work history and what it gives back.

ART BY NOAH HARMON

BEAUTY IS ONLY TEMPORARYThis temp assignment is not like the others.

SHARED HISTORYA summary of the year 15 Americorps VISTA members spent in Minneapolis.

WORK IS...Small business owners answer the prompt, “Work is...”

ART BY RAIGHNE HOGAN

TEEN INTERNSHIPSThree local programs offer jobs and internships to students.

THE GREAT STREETS PROJECTWest Broadway

GET OUTCatherine Jensen reflects on the kind of jobs we don’t care to hold onto.

ART BY MILTON UN

THOUGHTS OF A BUSINESS ANALYST ABOUT TO QUITAn interview about the living the corporate life.

THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY WOMEN (GOLFERS)An ex-beverage cart boy profiles the women he’s encountered on the green.

COVER BY NICK HOWARD

LAYOUT BY CLARISSA HAMILTON

BACKGROUND PHOTOS BY ANDREW CASEY

6

8

10

12

14

17

30

31

36

48

50

51

53

Page 4: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK4

For years, I held every job I had up to my first and favorite one, at a movie theater in my Illinois hometown. It’d be hard to explain why exactly, even factoring in the free movies. That was the job I left every night smelling like dirty popcorn. It was the job where I had to wear a humiliating bow tie and, until our uniforms were mercifully redesigned, a lopsided blue newsboy cap--not to mention, for a few months, a promotional apron for Disney’s “Bolt” that proclaimed, “THIS IS RIDONKULOUS!” It was the job where a coworker and I were tasked with scraping up a dead goose from the parking lot and laying it to rest in the trash compac-tor. It was the job where customers held me responsible for their having misread movie times, where I earned scars from hot oil and popcorn kettles, and where I spent hours sweeping up and throwing away the trash moviegoers left strewn across floors despite our best efforts to point out the theater’s many garbage cans.

But it was also the job that spawned a thousand inside jokes with my sister, who worked there too, and that introduced me to friends who taught me how to be a film nerd, and that every so often had moments like standing outside a theater as the movie let out and singing “Don’t Stop Believin’” with a bunch of cowork-ers. And it was where I learned to be responsible for my shit, to be not only polite to customers but--when I could manage it--genuinely warm and helpful, to keep an eye on a system with a lot of moving parts and be ready to back up my coworkers. It was the job that taught me to be kind to every service worker and to not take problems out on minimum-wage employees. And it was the job that helped reinforce that I’m happiest when I’m working. The worst days at Showplace 16 and the worst jobs I had after that were the least busy ones, giving me nothing to do but stare at the clock as hours ticked by.

I’m notoriously lazy (a glance around my apartment, especially the sink full of dirty dishes, proves that), but work brings me energy and the joy of purpose and accomplishment. I feel more drained at my office job when I’ve had nothing to do than when I’ve been able to work on assignments all day. Most of my time away from that job and at home is spent on passive entertainment, and no one who’s looked at as many Parks and Recreation gifs on Tumblr as I have could bad-mouth that. But one of the best things about my life since col-lege has been that most of my friends do work, and not just in their day jobs. They make things: posters and food and rap beats and blog posts and T-shirts and websites and paintings and handmade wedding invita-tions and papier-mâché Big Bird piñatas. Sometimes it’s because they’re hoping to get paid to make things like that, but a lot of people I know just seem to need to have something creative and tangible to do. A task at hand.

MPLSzine is one of those things that my peers and I get to make, and I can see that everyone involved is as excited as I am about working on something that’s big and ongoing and that we can share with pride. And even for the people who only a contribute an essay or an illustration every so often--or maybe just as a one-time thing--getting to work on that one thing and produce something that becomes part of a whole is, I hope, motivating and fulfilling. You don’t have to be a professional creator to be part of MPLSzine; you just have to create something. Do work. Send it to us. We’re working on making this thing better with every issue.

Sincerely,[email protected]

LETTER FROM THE EDITORIAL DIRECTOR

Page 5: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 5

CONTRIBUTORSAndrew Casey, one of MPLSzine’s Visual Directors, is a photographer residing in Minneapolis. He migrates towards shooting stationary objects and street scenes. He has had a long-held passion and appreciation for street art and graffiti, which led to a history of documenting the artwork under the alias Urban Camper.

Chris Cloud is a Creative Thinkdoer and the Publication Director of MPLSzine. He is very excited that MPLSzine gets to highlight remarkable creative work from the MPLS community. He hopes you enjoy the fruits of their labor, time, and passion. See more at chriscloud.com.

Kyle Coughlin, Illustration Director at MPLSzine, is a designer and illustrator living in Minneapolis. He enjoys drawing, screen printing, and being awesome. See his work at kylomoonguts.com.

Joe Dammel is a film photographer roaming the streets of Minneapolis with a bag full of antiquated technology. He embraces modern technology, too: Find his work at abrandnewminneapolis.tumblr.com.

Lauren Fechner is an aspiring artist living and working in Minneapolis. She earned a degree in studio arts from UW-River Falls and has a love for comics and cartoons. Follow her on Tumblr: http://lafetch.tumblr.com.

Sabrina Geylani won first place in the STEP-UP Essay Contest, which solicited writing by young interns in the STEP-UP Achieve youth employment program. STEP-UP is managed by the City of Minneapolis in partnership with AchieveMpls, and has connected over 16,000 young people with job training and placements in top Twin Cities businesses, nonprofits and government agencies since 2004. Learn more at www.achievempls.org.

Clarissa Hamilton, Layout Director for MPLSzine, is a graduate from the Minneapolis College of Art and Design. She is a designer living and working in Minneapolis and has an obsession with making zines. Visit her website: www.clarissaham.com

Noah Harmon is a visual artist living in Minneapolis. He received a B.F.A. from St. Cloud State University. Themes explored in his work include, but are not limited to: relaxing, enjoy-ment, creeps, hotties, famous animals, and common phrases. The work is informed by pop culture, television, and the supernatural. Contact him at [email protected] and check out more work at www.noahharmon.com.

Brian Hart, one of MPLSzine’s Visual Directors, is a Minneapolis-based artist. His eyes are always hungry. He hopes yours are, too. Google: brianmatthewhart.

Raighne Hogan helps run Northeast Mpls’ comics publisher 2D Cloud: 2dcloud.com.

Nick Howard has been an active member of the Minneapolis arts community for the past seven years and has shown his work at galleries such as Outsiders and Other, Placement Gallery, and Rosalux Gallery. In 2009 he was the recipient of a MN States Arts Board Artist Initiative Grant. His work has also been featured on websites such as Fecal Face and Juxtapoz, and has appeared in the Midwest edition of New American Paintings.

Matthew Jacobs, Social Outreach Director at MPLSzine, is a PhD Candidate in the social sciences at the University of Minnesota. During the day he studies Chinese and religion under authoritarianism. At night he runs dance parties at the Uptown VFW. Say hello sometime at Tuesday Night Music Club.

Catherine Jensen is a thinker to the danger of thinking too much. She loves symbolism and is a collector of things: books, poetry, art, music, and, especially, dance moves. After a year spent in China, she searches for a job related to her B.A. in English and history. Read about China and more current activity on her blog: cajensen11.blogspot.com.

Eric Anton Johnson is a Minneapolis-based graphic designer and member of Black Collar. See more of his work at www.ericanton.net and www.blackcollarcollective.com.

Tom Johnson is a magazine reporter and editor. He works on Stubble, Crab and Egret, and GudBar in his spare time. Follow him on Twitter: @tomqj.

Kelsey King is a Minneapolis-based illustrator. With a strong sense of fantasy and a little whimsy, Kelsey’s illustrations strive for an elegance that is inspired in history, myth and fairy tales. The style in her illustrations uses a high level of detail and pattern to create a visual seduction that at times contrasts with darker content. See more of her work at cargocollective.com/kkingillustration.

Lindsay Lelivelt is a writer and reader living in Minneapolis. She’s the managing editor of Paper Darts Literary Magazine, and when she’s not editing or proofing things for her day job, she spends her spare time Googling “puppies.” You can find her on the internets: @lindsaylelivelt or whiskandwhimsy.com.

Zoë Pizarro is a native Minneapolitan. She is MPLSzine’s new intern and a student at the University of Minneapolis. She is still uncomfortable calling herself an artist or writer, but she’s working on it. She lives for the future’s undisclosed adventures.

Colleen Powers is MPLSzine’s Editorial Director. She was born Rockford, Illinois and lives in Northeast Minneapolis, and you can usually find her at dance parties, libraries or rap shows. Blackstreet’s “No Diggity” is her one weakness.

Erin Sayer is a mural painter and owner of Cult Status Gallery. See more at www.cultstatusgallery.com and www.erinsayer.com.

Grant Spanier is a writer, designer and entrepreneur in Minneapolis. He is the proud owner of a red belt in karate (with two stripes) and he very nearly won the spelling bee in sixth grade. Sadly, he was thwarted by the word “onomatopoeia” in the final round. See more of his work at grantspanier.com.

Scottie B. Tuska is a freelance photographer who works in the intersection of architectural, documentary and landscape photography under the pseudonym Alleycat. He was formerly a web editor at Twin Cites METRO and The Wake Student Magazine. He realized that he’s better at taking photographs than editing an intern’s copy. Recent projects include Midwest: A Year in Flyover Country and Mapping Disaster: The North Minneapolis Tornado, a multimedia display of documentary photography and audio clips tied together through cartography.

Milton Un is a Minneapolis-based designer/illustrator. His time is predominantly spent doodling in sketchbooks or on things, watching a good basketball game, and/or drinking Swiss Miss with his wife and son. He is a Northeast Mpls representative. See more of his work at http://miltonun.com.

Lauren Van Schepen is on a mission to find the balance between work and life, glasses and contacts, and whiskey and wine. She has a fascinatingly abstract liberal arts degree from one of those schools out East, lives on Hennepin, works on University, and can be found anywhere and everywhere in between.

Katrina Wollet is a Minneapolis writer with ties to a rural Wisconsin farm, big-city Barcelona and the quiet woods. Her poetry and short fiction have appeared in works such as the Edgewood College Review and Pepper Magazine and she also publishes to her blog, katrinawollet.tumblr.com. When she isn’t writing fiction or poetry, she works for a technology marketing company where she organizes her life in color-coordinated Post-It notes and runs on bottomless coffee. You’ll find her under big trees or on swings trying to reach space.

Ben Petersen is a Graphic Design student at The Minneapolis College of Art & Design. He is a fan of floral patterned shorts, brush pens, long walks on the beach and “Would you rather?” questions.http://hotsauceyoucantafford.tumblr.com/

Page 6: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK6

In our tough economy, a job offer can come down to the most minor qualifications, connections and interactions. When you're looking for new

work, the application/interview process can be exhilarating and soul-crushing and intimidating, all in the same minute. To help counteract

rejection letters from company recruiters and to keep your spirits up, it can help to make a list to remind yourself that you are in fact overqualified for

many unpaid jobs, even if you didn't quite get the paid one.

WRITTEN BY KATRINA WOLLETTYPOGRAPHY BY ERIC JOHNSON

Page 7: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 7

1. Talk about books.2. Rewrite other people’s poorly written sen-

tences.3. Talk to children about language.

4. Climb trees.5. Laugh at stupid jokes.

6. Dissect the meaning of his body language.7. Bike places.

8. Wear cowboy boots.9. Recommend the perfect folk song.

10. Procrastinate on deadlines.11. Count oversized bright stars.

12. Listen.13. Snuggle with big dogs.

14. Handwrite letters.15. Braid long hair.

16. Tell you what animal your bruise looks like.17. Alphabetize books.

Page 8: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK8

I may not be a

wealthy girl,

but my life but my life is very,

very rich.

Page 9: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

ERINSAYER

MANTRA:Everything I do

must be related to art in some way.

EDUCATIONBFA Painting, 1997.MA Art Therapy, 2000. EXPERIENCE

● Waitress, 1995-2000● Gallery owner, Duluth Artists' Guild at the NorShor, 1998-2000● Art Lady at Boys and Girls Club Duluth, 1998-2000● Art teacher at Benilde St. Margaret's H.S., 2001-2005● Schlep at Dick Blick, 2001-2003● Backdrop painter in Chicago and Minneapolis at various

theatres, 1997-present● Plain old artist, 1992-present● Producer, 1997-present● Faux finisher, 1999-2000● Web designer, 2001-present● Social media guru, 2005-present● Photoshop lackey, 2001-present● Theatre lighting sales, 1997● Art camp counselor, 1998● Muralist, 1996-present● Chinese New Year float creator, 2011● Gallery owner, 33 Design and Cult Status, 2005-present

SUMMARYAs you can see, waitressing was the only thing I did that wasn't related to art, but I was going to school for art at the time. You will also notice that, at any given time in any given year, I have had no fewer than three jobs. This does not necessarily dictate how much I earn, however, which is unfortunate, because if I were compensated fairly at all times in my life, I would be a multi-millionaire now. Which I clearly am not. Which means that I worked a lot of jobs for little or no money. Gladly, those days are behind me now, and I command upwards of $50/hour for hourly gigs. As I enter middle age, clients pay for my experience, so all of that working for peanuts nonsense paid off. Being in the arts is consistently thankless. People respect you almost as much as a teacher. By and large, society couldn't really care less about art, and most people would rather buy an Ikea print than real art for their homes. But here I am, plugging away, year after year, in a field that everyone warned me was not lucrative. And it surely is not. That is why I don't have kids, and I live modestly. But I believe this field offers me what no other job could: truth in my existence. Art may not mean a lot to most of society. But to my peers and me, in this art scene here in Minneapolis, the epicenter of culture in the upper Midwest (representing the largest area of any other major city in the country), art is life. We have dedicated our lives to creation, and living freely, with fewer obligations than the general public. No regular job could ever come close to providing a) flexible hours, b) time for travel--extensive travel and c) an interesting daily existence.

WORK// MPLSzine 9

Page 10: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK10

ILLUSTRATIONS BY NOAH HARMON

Page 11: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 11

Page 12: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK12

Being a temp is never without uncertainty, I can tell you that. Not know-ing what you’ll be doing from week to week is almost kind of exciting, and you can even try to tell yourself it is exotic. But it’s not. Because you’re probably just going to wind up pushing papers, shipping stuff, organizing closets and generally doing things that no one really has the time to do but desperately needs to be done.

Of course, some days you’re called in and given an address but not the job, told to dress business casual, but nothing too flashy. These are the days you remember.

**

Summer after my sophomore year of college, I was a little short on cash, and no one was really hiring just for the summer. After lots of applying and not a lot of luck, I was able to lock down a temp job with some local agency and had somewhat regular, if not entirely odd jobs from week to week.

After a short lapse in work, I got a call that was pretty vague, as per usual. Something along the lines of “Go here, you can wear this, this time to that time, one day only.”

I showed up the next day at what appeared to be the fanciest hotel St. Paul has to offer, complete with a bar and brunch buffet featuring a duck pond and waterfall in the middle of the towering building. I was greeted and handed a sheet of paper and told that these were the questions I was to ask the contestants.

-How old are you? What grade are you in?-What is your favorite subject in school?-Why did you decide to come to this beauty pageant today?

Page 13: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 13

-What do you believe your confidence level is?-Who do you aspire to be? Who is your role model?-Do you have a favorite hobby?-What would you like to achieve from this beauty pageant?-Generic question based on interests listed by contestant.

It is at this point I realized that I was hired as a judge in some sort of Little Miss Someone-or-Other Pageant. The pre-screening personality judge, because that’s what this contest prides itself on. Brains over beauty. Photos are optional but preferred with entry.

Not too similar but not so different from Toddlers and Tiaras or Little Miss Sunshine, this one-day gig gave me a lot of perspective on something that I never gave much thought to before.

There were Honey Boo-Boos and tiny girls so clearly being forced into the contest by their mothers, shy little ladies in bright pink gowns and tiaras and angsty tweens in Chucks and black nail polish. They all lined up and waited to be interviewed, waited for me to pass judgment on them and write a number between 1 and 10 on the back of their application. Every girl wanted to win, or had practiced acting like they wanted to win. No one was over 12 or under four.

Some were overly confident and probably coached on their answers.

“My mother is an inspiration to me daily, and when I grow up I hope to be just like her.”

Some were nervous, and fidgety.

“Umm, I don’t know. I like, um, ponies?”

Some were genuine and nice.

“I really like spelling and recess and also I guess science. But I think my favorite subject is math.” Some avoided eye contact while others tried not to break it. I just tried to seem nice and non-threatening, offering a big smile as they sat down and got ready to answer my questions. It was weird, to say the least. I felt out of place. I wasn’t exactly an expert on the matter of girl character qualities and such--just a tempo-rary employee who would in all likeliness be filing invoices the next day, or maybe answering phones. The pageant was a two-day event, so I wouldn’t even know who won, or if my “score” would factor much into the results.

The whole thing was so strangely surreal that I didn’t really know what to make of it. I put in my eight hours, requested that my parking get comped and drove home, all the while wondering where I would be called to work next.

Written by Lindsay LeLiveLt

typography by ben petersen

Page 14: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK14

Page 15: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 15

ONE YEAR, ONE CITY, 15 COWORKERS We both spent August 2010—August 2011 working in the Minneapolis Public Schools as AmeriCorps VISTA members. While this national service program is geared toward eliminating poverty, and the vast majority of our time was spent in school buildings, our shared work and financial status also allowed the 15 of us to encounter the city in a remarkably

shared way.

Lest you think alcohol was the only prominent stimulant in our experience, nearly all our meetings were held in coffee shops–coffee shops named after writers, coffee shops with bagels, coffee shops who deliver by bike. Jitters were not uncommon.

The Millennium Hotel housed Pre-Service Orientation for all Minnesota VISTA programs. We found ourselves on the receiving end of calls to patriotic service, explanations of educational stipends and lots of heavy buffet food. Meeting in the lobby one afternoon, we quietly sized up our future coworkers. Saying we had no idea what we were getting into doesn’t begin to cover it.

Our first real weekend was the Bedlam’s last in Cedar-Riverside. In what can only be described as a characteristically indescribable Minneapolis night, we bonded in a PBR-sponsored photo booth, watched fire breathing in the parking lot and danced to the Hood Internet. There may have been a roasted goat on the roof, or maybe the heat we remember came from the whiskey we drank while staring at the skyline.

As the year went on we fell into a pattern: training on Fridays, Gchat all week, and Hipshaker Thursdays at the Kitty Cat Klub. One evening, we stumbled in from splitting a pack of cigarettes on the patio to hear a song that included some mention of having just been paid. As the clock struck midnight we reveled in our supposed 12:01 a.m. Friday paycheck deposit. Never have bankers’ hours been more clear than when a debit card was denied on a charge for a three-dollar beer.

Page 16: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK16

A particularly frustrating day at work pushed one of us to forgo the first bus, and walk to a downtown station. Did we mention this day was in February? Cold fingers and toes regretted the decision instantaneously. Stubbornness prevailed.

We rang in the new year with a Mad Men-themed costume party on South Lyndale. While one in a long list of potlucks and parties throughout the year, this evening of dressy debauchery will go down as the classiest of them all.

Part of being in the AmeriCorps VISTA program is experiencing some aspects of the poverty that exists in the communities you are serving; for many of us, that meant depending on government assistance for food. While the state tries to de-stigmatize using food stamps (EBT), we often found fellow customers to be less understanding. Standing in line at the Lake & Nicollet SuperValu one day, there was a clearly audible, “Oh, hell no” behind me as I pulled out my EBT card.

The vast majority of our year together was spent in one fluorescently lit room on Lake Street. Friday morning trainings consisted of Hipshaker hangovers, bagels and coffee only made drinkable by excessive cream and sugar. But they were also our time to swap stories from the week, take countless personality tests and wax poetic about wanting to change the school system as we’d come to know it. While nondescript, this place is most important of all.

One of our sweetest days was spent preparing a garden for summer programming at Nellie Stone Johnson Elementary. In what is also a top contender for “Most Heavy-Handed Metaphor for an Education-Centered National Service Program,” we literally spent the day tending the garden bed for learning.

Map + Icons by Lauren Fechner -- TexT by Lauren Van schepen

In May, a tornado hit North Minneapolis, and our everyday responsibilities were temporarily on hold. Handing out cleaning supplies, clothing and food to families at Farview Park–as well as a last-minute shopping spree at Costco with the mayor’s office credit card–was one of the most concrete and memorable ways we were able to serve throughout the year.

Page 17: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 17

I used the theme of this issue to seek out local small business owners who embody the word “work” by turning a passion into a livelihood. I went to Hoffman Guitars to meet Charlie Hoffman, who has been making and repairing guitars since the early 1970s. My next stop was Lunalux to see owner

Jenni Undis and her “right-hand-gal” Morgan Hiscocks and get a demonstration of their letterpress wizardry. Finally, I

stopped in to Hymie’s Vintage Records to meet owners Dave and Laura Hoenack and do a quick, impromptu family portrait with their two kids, Gus and Nova, and their

dog Irene.

Hoffman Guitars2219 East Franklin Avenue

hoffmanguitars.com

Lunalux1618 Harmon Place

lunalux.com

Hymie’s Vintage Records3820 East Lake Street

hymiesrecords.com

WORK IS...

photos and intervieWs by Joe dammeL

I asked each shop to answer the prompt, “Work is...”

Page 18: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK18

“Work can be both a joy and a burden--generally a bit of both. In my case, it is mostly a joy because I love wood and music and because I feel that I am contributing to more

music in the world.”--Charlie Hoffman, Hoffman

Guitars

Page 19: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 19

Page 20: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK20

Page 21: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 21

Page 22: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK22

“My work is my life. I do other things, pursue other interests. There are friends, family and cats to tend.

But the majority of my time and energy goes into running my business. It’s challenging, exhilarating,

rewarding. Doing my work helps me know who I am.”--Jenni Undis, Lunalux

“Work is hands, head, and heart working together to make something functional and beautiful to put out

into the world.”--Morgan Hiscocks, Lunalux

Page 23: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 23

Page 24: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK24 MPLSzine // FAMILY24

Page 25: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 25FAMILY// MPLSzine 25

Page 26: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK26

Page 27: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 27

“We believe work is what you make of it. The things we do around here can’t always be quantified in the way people like to think about work, as dollars per hour and so on. Records come and go and the shop makes money off that, but attaching those figures to every little exchange just slows it all down. We’re more interested in creating a fun environment, because in the end that’s what brings people back time and again, which makes the shop successful.

There are a lot of things we do here that are work, things we do out of a sense of obligation, which don’t really bring any money into the shop, but they get treated with the same reverence as any job. The Hymie’s blog, most of our DJ gigs, all the in-store

performances: these things probably cost us more money than we'd like to know, but they all contribute to the community. We’ve turned a lot of people on to the local music scene who hadn’t given it much thought before coming into our shop. We’ve helped artists find new audiences and in doing that found new customers for the record shop. Nato Coles talks about how people search for places that have ‘soul’ and we’re flattered he puts us on that list. There’s an unquantifiable return on all that time and effort, and the good days make up for the long ones. If it’s important to feel a sense of accomplishment we’re on the right track, and both of us are really proud of what we do every day.”--Dave & Laura Hoenack, Hymie's Vintage Records

Page 28: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK28

Page 29: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 29

Page 30: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

ILLUSTR

ATIO

N BY R

AIG

HN

E HO

GA

N

Page 31: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 31

A lot of us earn our first wages and tips, meet our first goofy or intimidating bosses, and deal with our

first cranky customers during our teenage years. Maybe that minimum-wage job is how we saved for

college or paid for the gas in our hand-me-down cars. For some young people in Minneapolis, though, their first experience with employment isn’t just a way to make money, but a chance to learn useful skills in business, customer service and even the arts, in an environment that encourages them and their goals. Three local programs--The Cookie Cart, COMPAS ArtsWork, and AchieveMpls’ STEP-UP--offer jobs

and internships that give students the opportunity to walk away with more than a paycheck (but the

paycheck’s part of it, too).

Page 32: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK32

What is your role with the program?My role at the Cookie Cart is the Bakery Program Manager. I am the direct supervisor to all of the employees in the kitchen. I run and train all 140 that come through our bakery program within the year. What attracted you to Cookie Cart?I have worked in North Minneapolis as a youth worker for many years and drove past Cookie Cart knowing it was somewhere I wanted to work. I re-ceived a degree in dietetics, and the combination of working in an industrial kitchen alongside youth from the community is a perfect fit. Why do you think it's an important organization, in general and/or specifically in Minneapolis?Cookie Cart is an important organization because it gives students a first-time paid work opportunity. It delivers high quality training. It is a great place for students that might not receive the same opportunity of a positive workplace with staff that truly care about the employee as a whole. How are the different Cookie Cart programs related to each other?We have four core training programs at Cookie Cart. Customer Service Training teaches youth em-ployees the concepts and skills required to present a positive image and provide responsive service to customers. The 360 Degrees Program focuses on advanced work readiness training that build on the bakery experience and emphasizes the transition to jobs in the mainstream workforce. The Bakery Program is an experiential, hands-on job train-ing program in which young people work in the bakery preparing, packaging and selling cookies

while learning basic employment skills. The National Career Readiness Certificate is an assessment issued by ACT which measures skills essential to job success. The nationally-recognized credential verifies that the young applicant has the foundational skills necessary to be a successful employee.

About how many young people are employed by or involved in Cookie Cart's programs at a given time?I currently have 71 youth on my employee roster. In 2013, I will hire 140 youth employees. It is not required for a youth to live in North Minneapolis, but about 90 percent of the students that work here are from the neighborhood. Their average stay for a student is about 14 months. What's something everyone should know or that most people might not know about Cookie Cart?Cookie sales are about 40 percent of our operat-ing budget. We do not run solely on cookies. We also rely on individual’s gifts and corporate, founda-tion and family grants. We can only accomplish our goals and work towards eliminating our community’s employment disparity with the support of committed institutions and individuals. Your charitable gifts, your bakery purchases and your volunteer assistance have a direct and positive impact on the teens with whom we work. Are there any specific hopes or goals for the future?Currently, Cookie Cart is in a capital campaign to triple the number of youth that we serve. We turn away about two-thirds of the youth that apply due to lack of positions. We will serve more youth by doubling our current site in North Minneapolis in the next year and launch a satellite site in St. Paul.

The Cookie CartLeah Jasper, bakery prograM Manager

Page 33: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 33

BETH VANG

What are your job duties?My job duties are many things ranging from scooping cookie dough pucks, preparing the cookie dough for baking production, packing cookie orders, decorat-ing sugar cookies, basic cleaning and organizing. Sometimes, I also do office work and sales events at well-known companies.What's something specific you've learned on the job?I have learned very useful things as to how to write a good resume, how to apply and interview for jobs, and how to talk to customers and show good service.

What’s the hardest part of your job?The hardest part would be when there are super large orders ranging from about 50 to 80 dozen cookies an order, or being obliged to be at the workplace for meetings and such since school and activities interfere a lot of the time. Do you have a favorite story from your time at Cookie Cart?My favorite story isn’t specifically one thing but roughly the whole summer. Since, we had a lot of time to spend at the Cookie Cart, I literally was there every day, including some weekends. It was tiring, but very fulfilling and enjoyable just to be around family. What's your dream job?My dream job is to be a journalist or a shop owner someday. I’ve always loved to write and talk. I also loved to bake and cooking other things, especially the eating and tasting part. Every taste and flavor really satisfies me. I wouldn’t mind combining the two different occupations.

SITRESSE CLERK What are your job duties?My duties are making sure everything in the bakery gets done when they are supposed to. Also it includes packing orders, answering the phone and processing cookie dough.

What’s something specific you’ve learned on the job?I have learned more about working with teens my age, and how it is like working in a real workplace. I also learned how to talk to customers about cookie orders. What’s the hardest part of your job?My hardest day would probably be over the holiday seasons. During Christmas, many people order cook-ies from about 40 dozens to 300 dozens of frosted cookies. Then you have to count to make sure you made enough for each order. It can be really over-whelming at times. Do you have a favorite story from your time at Cookie Cart?My favorite story would be during the Summer Festi-val, playing games and hanging with all the custom-ers that came to the celebration. Another story would be learning more about our organization and being with people that have enjoyed coming to my job to buy cookies for almost 30 years. What’s your dream job?My dream job is to become a lawyer. I love working with people and helping them figure out their prob-lems. I also love trying to solve problems and help as much as I can. Becoming a lawyer, I would never want to leave my job because it is something I love doing.

Page 34: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK34

During the summer I got an envelope with STEP-UP’s orange and blue logo printed on it. The letter said I was placed in a STEP-UP summer job with Target Corporation. I had this amazing rush run through my body. “Yes!” I said; I finally had my first job.

I prepared for my first day and slept with a huge grin on my face.

I spent most of my time working in the store and was assigned to a specific area. I loved the feeling of helping out a guest and I felt like an expert of my area. I knew where everything was placed by the third week of my internship, so whenever guests asked where products were, I knew where to find them. I felt like a leader when it came to assisting the guests; however, when it came to being with my Target team, I didn’t.

Huddle was a meeting that took place every day at Target where all the team members got together and formed a circle to discuss new information that they wanted to share with the team. At these huddles, everyone was always cheerful and often gave recognition of other team members they saw doing something “Fast, Fun, and Friendly” (Target’s motto) or giving great service.

STEP-UP Achieve

Page 35: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 35

I felt intimidated at huddles, and often skipped them. I felt like quitting, because whenever it came to interacting with the team members I felt left out. I always remained very quiet and was placed out of my comfort zone. I’d rather have worked in my area alone all day than do something that I didn’t feel a part of.

About four weeks into my internship, we were introduced to our mentors and assigned a project. My mentor was very kind and informed me about so much. Every day I learned something new about Target through her. A week later she pulled me aside and told me that I had to speak at huddles every day for my project. I began to feel nervous and wasn’t excited about the idea. I felt like I was being pushed to do something I didn’t want to do and that was out of my comfort zone.

That following day, the team had huddle and I attended with my mentor. As I stood there, I still had that horrible feeling as the other Target members talked among themselves and laughed to inside jokes. Then, I decided I should just try jumping in and saying something related to my work area. They didn’t hear me at first, and so one of the members said, “Sabrina, did you have something to say?” I replied, “Yes!” and as I spoke up about my area a conversation started to form, and team members started asking me questions I proudly had the answers to, thanks to the help of my mentor. The feeling was awesome afterwards; I felt more noticed. Team members finally started calling me by my name instead of “the intern” and started to give me recognition.

I went from being a closed-minded person to a more open person. My team didn’t know my name because I didn’t speak up and introduce myself often, which showed that I wasn’t making an effort. Because of this realization, communication and team effort became an important facet in my life. Instead of working in my area alone I started working with my team. The job got done quicker, and more tasks were accomplished.

I am happy that my mentor encouraged me to talk at huddles, because now I am able to step out of my comfort zone. Through that experience my voice was heard. I began to network, form friendships, and everlasting strong bonds—I now felt like I was a part of something important. Through this experience I met a few inspiring leaders; one in particular was a wonderful lady.

As I got to know her this lady inspired me in so many ways and told me to not stand still, afraid, thinking of how cold the water might be, but instead to jump in and test the water for myself. This saying made so much sense after hearing it a couple of times. I’m still in touch with this wonderful lady til this very moment, and she has made a huge impact on me. I would’ve not met these amazing people without the help of STEP-UP.

Written by sabrina geyLani

Page 36: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK36

Q: How did you find out about COMPAS ArtsWork? What attracted you to the program?Lyly: I first learned about COMPAS when we had a writer from the organization come in to lead a workshop for my seventh grade English class. COM-PAS has followed me throughout my middle school to high school years, since my former school district was an active participant in the yearly COMPAS po-etry anthology. I found out about ArtsWork through a friend that had done the mosaics program. She made money making art, which I thought was the best possible way to spend a summer. I saw that they offered writing in the program during the summer of 2008, and being a 16-year-old that was interested in poetry (when no one else was), it really cemented my interest in being involved with ArtsWork. Q: What do you like about art? What kind of art do you like making?Lyly: What I like about art is its ability to create a community. Whether they are individuals sharing their work with each other or collectively making one piece, art is a great tool to connect others because it is impossible to create something without putting some part of yourself into it. Art gets people to open up and share their experiences. People you least ex-pect to have a common understanding or friendship can be fostered through art.

I'm interested in how my personal experiences can be understood, dissected and empathize with oth-ers through various forms and devices. The subject matter itself really reinforces my love for art as something communal, because when I get “lost in art” alone, sometimes I lose my sense of self, which luckily gets fished out by a group of fellows artists.

InTerVIeW WITh LyLy nguyen

Q: What was your favorite part of the apprentice-ship?Lyly: My favorite part of the apprenticeship was exploring St. Paul. Our writing group was held, alternately, in Park Square Theater and the Saint Paul Public Library. Working in such a big, diverse city was awesome. Our mentor would assign us topics and set us loose to explore the urban environment and find inspiration. It's really something else to actu-ally experience what we intended to write about. Q: Tell us something specific you learned from the experience.Lyly: What I've learned from the experience is to continue creating even when you feel like your work is crap. It is so easy to doubt yourself and to doubt the quality of the art you produce that you stop making it all together. The only way to improve is to continue pushing through the uninspiring stages of be-ing an artist; everyone goes through it. Our schedule for ArtsWork was five days a week, six hour days of writing. The day was split up between revising work, doing writing exercises and other activities to help us as writers. The one thing that was consistent is that we created original content every day, whether we liked what we wrote or not. I've thrown out, crumpled up and scratched out more content than I've kept, but what I'm left with in the end is worth all the frustra-tion I went through to get there. Q: What is your dream job?Lyly: My absolute dream job would be to work in an editorial department for a nonprofit publishing company.

Page 37: MPLSzine - The Work Issue
Page 38: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK38

The city and West Broadway Coalition have been working on the Great Streets program for the last four or so years. This program spans the whole city, but targets intersections that are in need of facade improvement and economic development. West Broadway between 4th Street and 26th Avenue has been the center of this program. The buildings must be occupied to qualify for the program. The city and WBC wanted to have material that can show off the work that they have done. This way they continue to expand the program, maintain funding through their philanthropic partners--the Pohlad, McKnight and Jay and Rose Phillips Foundations--and get the word out to the greater public.

THE GREAT STREETS PROJECT: WEST BROADWAYphoTos and TexT by scoTTIe Tuska

Page 39: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 39

Page 40: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK40

Page 41: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 41

The city, specifically CPED, put out a request for proposal, or RFP, for a "photographic media artist to produce compelling materials to tell the story of the visual transformation of West Broadway and the impact of the City’s Great Streets Façade Improvement Program on the avenue." I heard about it through Dudley Voight, who is the founder and artistic director of FLOW Northside Art Crawl. I had been in the crawl the last two years with my projects Midwest (http://www.alleycat.mn/#!midwest/c6hf) and Mapping Disaster (http://www.alleycat.mn/#!mapping-disaster/cd07). We developed a good relationship and without that, I wouldn't have heard about the RFP. At that point I put together a proposal, and lo and behold I won out amongst ten or so other photographers.

After winning the bid, I sat down with Rebecca Par-rell from CPED and the West Broadway Coalition's Executive Director, Erin Jerabek Heelan. My proposal had centered around building a purpose-built site that the city and WBC could take over after my contract was finished. We would then use that site and the city and WBC's social media presence to get the word out on the project.

Page 42: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK42

On the photographic side, I wanted to accentuate that a compellingly built environment can make a streetscape a welcoming place for pedestrians. My prior project, Midwest, was really a collection of work the year after the North Minneapolis tornado. During that period, I developed a style that was counter to the in-close, straight documentary photojournalism of Mapping Disaster. I'm photographing what I would call landscape-architectural photojournalism. It's really built upon the juxtaposition of humans and the built or natural environment. On the other hand, Mapping Disaster, in its installation form, had interviews looping as you looked at the images and connected them to points on the map.

Page 43: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 43

Page 44: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK44

Page 45: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 45

I live just two blocks from Penn and Broadway, so I literally went out and photographed a few days a week for the two and a half months I was contracted. I work as a freelancer, so I was really able to go out when I wanted. I was out there with my Nikon D300 and wide-angle zoom on my shoulder, looking for an interesting moment in conjunction with the buildings that were the focus of the project. I set up the interviews as the project progressed and sat down with the business owners. I took a portrait of each of these business owners to put a face on running a business in a tough neighborhood. I do think it's important to know that I always felt comfortable being alone on Broadway.

Page 46: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK46

Getting to know the business owners and their stories gives a real human connection to these buildings. But also, walking down the street, I was often asked what I was photographing. There was a real interest in what I was doing. I also ran into to Johnny Northside and Keith Reitman during the project, two infamous/famous Northside characters.

Anytime you’re paid to photograph beautiful old buildings in your own neighborhood, you can’t say no. In this and in Mapping Disaster, I tried to counter misconceptions about North Minneapolis. Living here you know that it’s pretty normal most of the time. Unfortunately, I don’t think many Twin Cities residents ever make it up here. I also had tons of freedom on this project. The city had a message that they wanted to get across, but I was free to mold the story around my work.

This is really a weird thing to say, but buildings are stationary. You really have to plan out the time of the day you photograph and even that is no guarantee. One second you may have perfect lighting, and then the next the image just doesn’t work.

Page 47: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 47

Page 48: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK48

Page 49: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 49

I would work with CPED and WBC again in a second. We had great lines of communication and I believe we were able to produce a compelling document of the Great Streets program. I would love to work on future Great Streets documentation elsewhere in the city.

Page 50: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK50

On New Year’s Eve, I found myself in a state of marvel. I was flabbergasted. Friends I once lived doors from, I now see only a few times a year and, unfortunately, a common topic of conversations is “What are you up to?” Thus begins the never-ending repeating of the same story, over and over again.

Yes, I taught English in China last year. No, I do not have a teaching license. When I returned, I stayed unemployed for as long as I could before I began working for two, very different retailers. Now--well, now I am in a job I do not particularly like, but it is full time and only Monday through Friday.

Finally, to a closer friend, I admitted my new job is a good company, but “it is a job.” Nowhere near where I want to be. My friend admitted the same, seeming more defeated than I--perhaps because this will be her second year in “a job,” living in her same childhood home, deprived of the independence we assumed we would have forever after college.

Tension, like the elephant in the room, was an unspoken fact. We feel it as we figure things out. Our income is small but we have an income--we cannot complain. Still, tension is present and it slowly rises like bubbles in a pot about to boil. We must learn when is the best time to simply let go.

On the way home from the party, I mused about this foreign idea to let it go. Let go of jobs or bad relationships or bad fashion choices--most times it is laborious and thought over too much. Sometimes, though, it is easy.

The summer before I left for China, I had three jobs. For one of them, I was a “nanny,” an on-call babysitter for all types of situations and all types of families. Not once did I see the same children. It was okay. . . for the most part.

I rushed down 100 and out of the worst summer storm to arrive on time at a hotel nannying gig. The family from Texas had three children and I was to watch them Friday and Saturday night. Accompanied with a couple of nerves, I entered their hotel room to find the wife still getting ready. Small talk was exchanged and questions were answered. It was simple: I would work from 7 p.m. to midnight. The children were to just watch TV and go to bed. They had already eaten, and one was sleeping.

Page 51: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 51

Somewhere in the conversation, I noticed a newborn stroller. I was never informed of this fourth child. That was okay, though--maybe the agency got it wrong since this was the one and only time they requested them. Babies were easy enough. Finally, the parents left and I settled in and fed the baby while it fell asleep in my arms and the four-year-old and six-year-old watched TV in their bed.

Time passed and it was quiet and midnight rolled around. It was fine, normal even, for parents to be a half an hour late. That’s okay--more money for me. But around one a.m., I became restless and so did the four- and six-year-old. They would not sleep. Two obstinate children--that’s fine, they can stay awake and get in trouble from their parents when they get back, whenever that may be. My two nemeses started arguing. Tongues stuck out, noses pointed upward with the help of an index finger--they resembled their true character as they began to sing Ke$ha songs. A leap into the air as if they were Peter Pan and Wendy solidified their thoughts: “We will not go to bed!” No, instead they threatened the calm we had as they all but jumped on their sister and woke up their baby brother.

Let’s recap: Arguments resorting to “Wait until I tell your mom,” Ke$ha songs sung by a six-year-old boy, a crying baby, the six- and four-year-old jumping everywhere and now it’s 1:30 a.m. I contemplated calling the parents. Finally, someone at the door. Turns out the baby was the wife’s sister’s son and his parents were here to pick him up. One down, three to go.

Two a.m. The parents arrive and I am so glad that I don’t even mind that they are smashed--just get me out of here so I can go home. No, the wife wants to know how it went. No matter how fast I respond, we are always interrupted. But not by the children--no, by the husband. He proceeded to enter the bathroom and sit on the toilet making stressed noises as if he was actually taking a shit.

“I swear to God, I will hit you if you do not get to bed,” the wife threatened. Get me out of here! Okay, just answer what the wife asks and leave. The door is right there. Wait, what was that? I felt a fleshy little grasp at my ankle. It was a horror. The husband splayed himself out on the hotel floor groaning and moaning and yes, that was his hand on my ankle.

No thought needed. I was out and I would not return. That was easy to let go of that one. Most of the time it is not so. Our twenties are to “figure things out” and learn when to let go. In the meantime, we take jobs because they are “just jobs” to pay our loans. We do not live for our work; instead, we live for and strive for our future. We fight against the mundane with friends and push ourselves into new things. We make sure that despite “just jobs,” we find a niche and still do something we love.

Written by Catherine Jensen.

Page 52: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK52ILLUSTRATION BY MILTON UN

Page 53: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 53

Do you feel as if you’re underpaid?I am actually extremely fortunate. This is my first job out of college and I am instantly in an income brack-et that puts me, as an individual, above the average American household. An entire American family. You can’t begrudge anyone for living the corporate life because it is so easy. In fact, I kind of envy people who can do it so well. Me walking into work every day and feeling not fulfilled is hard because I see so many other people who seem to get along just fine.

The way that compensation is structured in corporate America, around the salary, is frustrating, too. This kind of goes back to another argument that every-one makes, especially around tax policy, is that if you tax people more, they’ll work less. That would be true if we had compensation models that were structured around rewarding performance, but so much of what the salary is just, every two weeks, you get a check. What you do directly at work does not add or subtract from the digits on that check. You just get a check.

Let’s say you made the decision now to stick with this corporation for the rest of your life. What would you have to do to make that happen?That’s the thing, I just don’t know what I could do. Right now, I just can’t do it. At my age, that’s just not even an option for me--thinking that way, I mean. So much of what I’ve found out about myself over the past few years, as the future has become more important outside of high school and college, is that when you’re confronted with those questions and start to answer them... This is the time and the age that if you have the means and you are in a position where you can do it, like I am, there’s just no other choice. If not now then when?

It seems to me a lot of people at the company have similar jobs to you, the classic “Business Analyst.” Is that true?That’s one thing that really endeared me to the posi-tion at first is knowing that you are one of many. The

Thoughts Of A Business Analyst About to Quit

day after I leave, there will be somebody right there to take my spot. I mean, they won’t be doing as well, necessarily, because they won’t have as much experi-ence, but they’ll have the same title and get paid the same.

What do you think other people you work with in similar positions--what is their goal? Are you all in the same trajectory?I don’t really know how other people feel about it. I think that one thing I’ve never been able to do suc-cessfully is cloak what I actually feel. I think that’s one of the reasons why I don’t do well in this environ-ment and I’m putting in my two weeks tomorrow.

But to answer your questions, I think it depends on how you view employment. For people who are comfortable in a position in a place such as this, their priority list is just different than mine. On the top of their list, maybe they’ve got a loved one and they want to start a relationship, get a home and that’s it. Therefore the work becomes a means to the ends which are above finding a job that you find very fulfilling. I’d like the means and the life to be in line with one another.

This is always said at work, but it’s true--you spend more time with the people you work with than you do with your own family. If you’re not comfortable with that, then there’s going to be problems. It’s about weighing costs and benefits. If you think getting an easy 50-80 thousand a year is worth it, if that time trade is worth it, then no problem, you’ve made the right decision. It’s difficult now too because people feel that it may not be a good trade, but they feel locked into a corner, coming out of college with $20,000 in debt in this economy. I feel I’m not in the corner, and because of that, I don’t know how I could explain to myself the decision to stay in this environ-ment much longer.

intervieW by tom Johnson

Page 54: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

D D D D D D D D

D D D D D D D D

D D D D D D D D

D D D D D D D D

D D D D D D D D

D D D D D D D D

Page 55: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 55

AS CATALOGUED BY ONE ANONYMOUS EX-BEVERAGE CART BOY (NAMED GRANT SPANIER)

After high school, I worked as a beverage cart boy in the summers between college semesters. I exclusively served the women’s league—stocking the beverage cart, sipping wine coolers, feeling the sun on my

skin and the wind rushing through my hair as I pressed down on the beverage cart accelerator... It was a glorious job; hard at times, sure, but

someone had to do it.

And in my experience, I made some keen observations. One of these insights was about the types of players in the women’s league:

The Big Four.

HEADER BY GRANT SPANIERILLUSTRATIONS BY KELSEY KING

Page 56: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK56

Page 57: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 57

Every golf league has one, The Hack. There are a multitude of descrip-tions worthy of the almighty Hack—Ball Butcher, Tee Terrorist, Suicidal Swinger—but at her essence she is really just a shitty golfer. Yep, that’s

right. An absolute pile of you-know-what, hacking her way into The Hack Hall of Fame.

In fact, the Hack at our course still owns the club’s High Score...a cov-eted title in most sports; however, the object of golf is to keep the final

tally less than quadruple digits.

And the really great thing about The Hack is how well-equipped she is to suck. She owns a brand new set of expensive irons, which is laugh-

able on its own, but especially when paired with her $1,700 oversized, titanium-core, diamond-studded, customized-just-for-her driver complete with removable weights (so she can adjust for wind speed/direction). A

real pro.

The Hack is dressed in the trendiest-of-trendy golf attire. Only the best performance-grade materials will do--everything argyle, of course.

Including argyle panties embroidered with her initials (don’t ask how I know).

On one occasion, The Hack, defying all laws of natural motion, hadn’t moved an inch in the time it took me to drive to the clubhouse, use the

restroom, refill the beverage cart, make a bloody Mary, call my mother, learn Mozart’s symphony No. 40, tie my shoes, bake a pie, write an

op-ed piece for the New York Times about the impact of Snuggies on modern society and return.

The Hack is an anomaly of sorts.

THE HACK

Page 58: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK58

THE PENNY PINCHERA beverage cart boy (or “Course Refreshment Expert,” as I prefer)

makes his living off the tips. Sure, the $7 an hour base pay is enough to cover some basic expenses, but to sufficiently compensate for the sexual harassment he endures, the “tip” is a vital part of his income. Like most

service industries, tips are generally expected to be around 20 percent. Most women on the course are spot on; other tippers are very generous.

That’s great, fantastic, wonderful. Thanks, ladies!

But for every $5 tip, there’s a Penny Pincher waiting on the back nine, toting the refillable water bottle she brought from home and a jingling-

jangling coin purse.

Watch out: There’s real vice grip on this one. You couldn’t pry a quarter from her with anything less than the Jaws of Life. You’d have better luck convincing Donald Trump to invest $1 million in your urine-flavored sno-

cone business than convincing The Penny Pincher to part with $1.

Benjamin Franklin may have said, “A penny saved is a penny earned,” but ol’ Bennie also got drunk once in awhile, and I bet he was a helluva tipper. The Penny Pincher could learn a thing or two from Mr. Franklin.

Page 59: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 59

Page 60: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK60

Page 61: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 61

THE COUGARThere is a ferocious predator roaming the fairways of America. A mythi-cal beast slinking around water hazards and prowling the finely mani-

cured greens. The Cougar is her title, a female in her mid-40s, often clad in a too-tight polo, a pair of too-short shorts and bright red lipstick. She is in search of younger male prey—plotting to devour him in the hopes

of regaining her faded sex appeal and dwindling self-esteem.

The Cougar is a force to be reckoned with—a customer one should ap-proach with the utmost of caution. More than one respectable beverage

cart operator has fallen prey to the allure of this magnetic creature.

Beware the tricks of The Cougar! Especially her infamous kill move, “The Sultry Swing.”

As you approach The Cougar, she will aggressively force her teammates off the tee box and insist on hitting first. As she tees the ball up, she’ll innocently bat her eyes at you, lick those juicy red lips and ask, “Hey,

beverage cart babe, is my form all right?”

She will grip the shaft of her club tightly, press her booty back into the air, waving it to and fro...up...down...all around...you will be tempted

to....... NO. Look away, young lad! Cover your eyes and plug your ears to this aged Siren’s song!

Page 62: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK62

THE COURSE DRUNKNo women’s golf league is complete without The Course Drunk, more

commonly referred to as the “life of the party.” She accounts for 50 per-cent of your nightly business and 99 percent of the nightly fun.

No matter how well-stocked your cart is, it can never be full enough for The Course Drunk. She buys round after round for the entire group, beverage cart boy included! But be careful: One too many shotgunned beers with The Course Drunk and you’ll swerve your way into a CWI

(Carting While Intoxicated) from the Course Marshal—an offense that will swerve you right out of the job.

Handle The Course Drunk with grace, as she will be your best customer and best friend. But slip up and she can be your worst nightmare.

Pro tip: smuggle a flask of whiskey on the cart and she will love you forever. Plus, you can always sneak a quick pull to cope with the stress

of the job.

For example, she may request your phone number in order to “alert you when her beer is gone.” Proceed with caution. Innocent intentions on the course will turn into after-work text messages will turn into 3 a.m. phone calls will turn into a lustful tangle of bodies at a Motel 6 will turn into a broken marriage will turn into a messy divorce will turn into The Course

Drunk’s resignation from women’s league.

Try going back to a course that just lost 99 percent of its fun.

That sounds like a sick, twisted version of my personal Hell.

Page 63: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

WORK// MPLSzine 63

Page 64: MPLSzine - The Work Issue

MPLSzine // WORK64

Be part of MPLSzine!We’re looking for interviews, reviews, reported articles, essays, humor

pieces, lists, infographics, comics, photos, and illustrations related to Minneapolis. (That relation can be loose--if the only connection is that

you live here, that’s cool with us.)

For now, we are not accepting fiction or poetry submissions--we know we can’t compete with the awesome literary magazines this town

already has.

We want to explore overlooked places and subcultures; make new connections and observations; share your heartbreaking,

guffaw-worthy, and inspirational personal stories; and champion the people who make Minneapolis what it is. But we can’t do that without

creative types sending us their stuff.

[email protected]

To get you started, our theme for the next issue is:

INTERNETpublishes February 19th

submissions due February 3rd

If you can’t contribute right away but want to learn more, email us anyway. We’d love to have you join us.