more than a dream excerpt

8/8/2019 More Than a Dream Excerpt

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More Than A Dream Chapter 1

The smell from the Sweet Honeysuckle Tree wafted through the opened window on this balmy

spring night. Nicole Lewis tightly closed her eyes while she deliberately and slowly inhaled nature’s

fragrant bouquet. She loved this time of year in Richmond and wanted to savor the moment and

treasure the experience. She had learned experiences were important; some were good while others----well, you had to grow from them. Despite what the calendar indicated, as far as she was concerned, the

blossoming honeysuckle was the event that signaled spring had really sprung.

“Springtime,” she thought still taking in the aroma. “A time for new beginnings. Hmmm, oh

well,” she paused before looking back to the novel she was reading.

Nicole was curled up on the sofa reading the last few chapters of Ernest J. Gaines’ A Lesson

Before Dying when the ringing phone startled her. The book had to be finished before her book club

met the next day, and for that reason, she let the answering machine pick it up. An unfamiliar man’s

voice spoke. “Hello, is this . . .” and then the dial tone began. She looked up from her book

momentarily, decided that someone had dialed the wrong number, and she continued to read. An hour

and twenty minutes later she finished. “Finally,” she said out loud to herself, “For a while, I was

wondering if I’d get through that book.”

She uncurled her long legs and flexed her ankles back and forth to relieve the stiffness that had

settled in from sitting in the same position so long. She stretched her arms overhead as she yawned and

walked to the kitchen to get a cold drink. As she leaned over her legal pad jotting down notes for

discussion with the Book Club, she swept a handful of long thick dark hair away from her fair-skinned,

flawless complexion. She squinted her slightly slant eyes and frowned as she leaned her elbow on the

table contemplating the anguish Blacks suffered in Gaines’ novel. She felt the sadness of Jefferson, one

of his characters, who struggled for his dignity in a place where it was negated. Nicole finished a page of discussion notes and placed them in her canvas book club bag along with the novel. “Now what?” she

said aloud.

Now it was another Friday night, and here she sat in her apartment alone. Whoever came up

with the phrase, “TGIF” being a great thing didn’t know how it felt to be all alone at the end of a work

week. She picked up the remote and flipped through all the HBO channels, and as usual, nothing was on

she really wanted to see.

“That’s it!” she shouted as she tossed the remote onto the sofa. “Tomorrow I’m definitely

calling Comcast to cancel these high-priced premium channels and just get the basic cable. This isn’t

even worth it! Humph, maybe I’ll just get rid of the whole thing,” she mumbled as she went to check

her e-mail. And there it was the infamous message from Douglas Piper that she refused to delete.

Reading it once again, as she had done a hundred times, took her back to a place she didn’t want to go.

The memory of him skipped through her mind every once in a while now, but especially on a

lonely night like this when she had nothing planned. She remembered his kiss, his touch, and then the

regrettable reality would reveal its ugly head. And each time it happened, she vowed not to let the



remembrance of him steal any more of her precious time. You see, she had allowed him entry where no

man had ever gone. He had been able to access her mind, her body and her very soul. She never

thought she would put up with a man who had put her through what he had for those two years. She’d

always talked about women who had low self-esteem and who didn’t love themselves enough to kick

those no good men to the curb. The saddest part of all was that when it came to Douglas, she was

unable to recognize that she had actually become one of those women she despised. Those women

clearly existed in a state of denial when it came to the men in their lives. The truth of the matter had

only begun to dawn on her when she opened her e-mail that Friday night and read his message. As she

sat in front of her computer now, she thought back to that unforgettable Friday night.

When she unlocked her door and walked in from work, it was like any other Friday evening. She

rewound her video recording of soaps and watched them while preparing dinner. Douglas was expected

around 7 p.m., and she knew he would drag in complaining about the usual irritations at his job and

especially about having to work the extra overtime. After eating dinner alone, she put in Heather

Headley’s “This is Who I Am,” CD and sat down to check her e-mail. And there it was, his message:

Nicole, it’s obvious things aren’t working out between us. And I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve moved my stuff out. I’ll stay with

my cousin, Peanut, for a minute and help him with a ‘lil business deal he has on the side. I’ll call you.

Later ---Doug P.

She didn’t immediately jump up to check for his things. She couldn’t; panic gripped her. Her

heart started to beat rapidly; she couldn’t catch her breath and she felt dazed. She needed to read the

note again because there was no way she could have just read what she thought she read; she must

have been confused. Was this one of his sick jokes? So she read it again, but this time she read each

word slowly and put their unmistakable meaning together and the tears began streaming down her

face. She wouldn’t get up to check for his clothes because if they weren’t there, it would mean the

message was true, it would mean that he’d really left her. So, she just sat there staring at the computer

screen crying and hoping it wasn’t true. By this time, number four on Heather Headley’s CD began to

play:

I’m home alone again; you’re out hanging with your friends. So you say . . . Somehow I know it’s not quite that way . . .

When the song finished, she got up from the computer and looked in his closet and drawers

only to find that his belongings were actually gone. Her knees gave away and everything around her

became a blur as her five feet frame collapsed to the floor. She just lay there weeping as the reality of

the situation became crystal clear, and she cried herself to sleep right there on the floor.

The next morning she awoke on the floor with a throbbing headache and red swollen eyes. She

got up, tapped the mouse to remove the screen saver, read his e-mail again and cried some more. The

phone rang, but she didn’t pick it up; someone knocked on her door, but she wouldn’t answer. She felt

hollow inside as if her guts had been pulled out like the fish she used to clean from her father’s fishing

trips. She didn’t want to talk to anyone; she just needed to think . . . but think of what? She wasn’t

sure, but she needed some time. She might be able to gather her thoughts, if she could just stop crying,

if only she could stop. Taylor Mundy had called and called, but was unable to get an answer. They were



supposed to go to their book club meeting at noon, and it wasn’t like Nicole to change her plans and not

inform Taylor. Taylor, her best friend in the whole world had a smooth cinnamon-colored complexion,

and stood about an inch shorter than Nicole at five feet seven inches. Her slender frame and long micro

braids usually gave her the appearance of being taller. Her big brown eyes and dimpled smile always

seem to express her extroverted personality.

They were such good friends; no actually they were more like sisters. If you saw one, you saw

the other. Taylor began to worry so she drove the short distance to Nicole’s apartment. When she saw

her black BMW convertible still parked in the complex, she really became concerned. She pulled out her

cell phone and tried Nicole’s number once more, but still there was no answer. She knocked and

knocked, yet still there was no indication of her best friend. This wasn’t like Nicole at all. She shaded

her eyes with her hands, peered through the front window, and began calling to her. “Nicole, are you in

there? Nicole? Nicole, are you all right? Open the door.”

When she turned to go and get the extra key Nicole had given her for emergencies, she heard

the door open behind her. When she turned and looked back, she gasped. “Oh my God, what

happened?” she said as she reached for Nicole with outstretched arms. “He left me . . . he left me,”

Nicole wept loudly as she welcomed her friend’s embrace.

Taylor walked in recognizing that Nicole had on the same clothes she’d worn when they’d met

for lunch on Friday afternoon, and it was obvious she’d also slept in them. And from the looks of things,

it must have been a frightful and restless slumber. She dampened a face cloth and placed it over

Nicole’s puffy eyes while she tried to console her. Then she went to the kitchen and brewed some

cranberry-apple herbal tea all the while trying to get Nicole to relax. After getting her to calm down

somewhat, Taylor ran a bubble bath and coaxed her to get in. Following the hot bath, she was able to

get Nicole to take a short nap promising that they would talk afterwards. Taylor sat in front of the

television without hearing the program while trying to figure out how to help her friend whenever she

woke up. She thought back to the many conversations they’d had about Douglas, and she didn’t see the

recent incident as a bad thing. I don’t know why he left, but it can only be a plus for Nicole. And as

soon as she calms down, she’ll realize that. Humph! He sure ain’t worth losing no sleep over with his

trifling tail! It’s a shame that a woman as nice as Nicole chose to put up with that worthless good-for-

nothing, anyway.”

Through her tears and sniffling, Nicole related the events of the previous night. Taylor assured

her that she was better off without him because he hadn’t been anything but a jerk that leaned on her

and brought her down. She didn’t really want to say “I told you so,” but she’d never bitten her tongue

when she pointed out his irresponsible behaviors to Nicole. Their friendship had lasted so long because

it was honest and it was real. Opinions had always been freely expressed without either of them getting

an attitude. Nicole agreed she had no one to blame except herself because in retrospect she had

noticed his pulling away. His preoccupation and secretiveness began a few months ago about the same

time he’d hooked up with his cousin, Peanut, who had recently finished a seven-year stint in jail for gun

and drug charges. When he first started hanging out with Peanut and his questionable associates, she

had noticed a gradual change in his behavior. Even still, she admitted she couldn’t understand how he



could treat her like that when she had given him everything. She had put so much into the relationship.

His every whim and want had been nurtured while her own goals were cast aside.

“If you ask me,” Taylor commented, “he’s a spineless little weasel without the common decency

to face you like a man. But believe you-me girllll, his day is coming! But meanwhile girlfriend, you have

to get up off your pity pot ‘cause life goes on! And I’m sure it’ll probably be a whole hellova lot better!”she said emphatically as she walked around with her hands on her hips and twisted her neck. They both

agreed that it would probably be a good idea if she took a couple of mental health days from work while

she put things in perspective.

When her mother hadn’t heard from her by Sunday afternoon, she became concerned because

they were supposed to visit her Aunt Thelma in a nearby hospital. Whenever Nicole was unable to

follow up on a planned engagement, her mother always felt Douglas was the culprit. She didn’t like him,

never trusted him and had made up her mind she never would. After not being able to get an answer at

Nicole’s, her mother called Taylor who brought her up-to-date on the broken relationship. “Thank you

Jesus!” her mother shouted over the phone when hearing the news. Ms. Tootsie decided she would

pack a small brunch basket and visit her daughter on Monday morning. If, by chance, Douglas was

there, she had a few choice words for him, and had an alternative for her daughter if she’d decided to

take him back.

When Ms. Tootsie drove to Nicole’s apartment, she was surprised when she found her still in

her pajamas at half past eleven in the morning. Her hair was tousled and her eyes were red and

swollen. She hugged her daughter who wondered how she knew she was home.

“Sweetie, no need to say anything. I called Taylor, and she already brought me up to date on

the situation. What I do want to know is why didn’t you call me?” “Aw mom, I didn’t want to worry

you.” “Chile please! You don’t have to sit here feeling depressed and downhearted because he walkedout, you should rejoice! You ought to be jumping for joy now that the thorn is gone from your side.

That no good son of a . . .”

“Mom!”

“Look, don’t mom me. Chile, you know I speak my mind. I believe in calling a spade a spade.

Your daddy and I always hated the idea that you were over here living in sin anyway ‘cause you knew

better! You just let this fellow bamboozle you. And on top of that, you allowed him to come in between

you and your daddy. That hurt your daddy so, so much!”

“Mom, I know you’re right. It just hurts. I feel so stupid when I look back on all that I gave him,on all that I did and then he had the nerve to walk out on me.” (sniff) “Nicki, honey please know that

this is his loss, not yours.” She gave her daughter a big hug.

“What in the world do you have in that basket, Mom?” She noticed the big wicker basket for

the first time. “Oh yeah, I’d almost forgotten. Come on chile, enough of this sad sack stuff. I fixed us a

good ole fashion brunch,” she said as she picked up the basket. “And I want us to enjoy it. I’m not



trying to make light of your distress, but you know what they say. It might be cloudy right now, but the

sun’s gonna shine after while. So let’s just bless the food ‘fore everything gets cold.” After prayer, she

removed the appetizing contents of the basket as Nicole shrieked at all the food. “Mom, is there

anything you didn’t think of?” “Don’t think so. Oh by the way, your daddy will be coming over later to

change your locks.”

After they had eaten and talked, Nicole did feel a little bit better. While she showered, her mom

called the BeCome New Hair Salon and made an appointment for both of them to get a pedicure,

manicure and a new hairstyle later that afternoon. On Tuesday, a shopping trip to the outlet mall in

Williamsburg was planned. Nicole was so grateful that she had a friend like Taylor and a woman like her

mother. She didn’t know what she would do if she didn’t have her two best friends.

The next day Nicole and her mom found some great bargains, and they had a wonderful day

together. When she arrived home, she tried on one of her new outfits and subconsciously thought to

herself, “Douglas is gonna like this,” until she remembered. Then she sank down on the sofa

remembering how they had dated for a year before becoming engaged. It wasn’t like she had just met

him; they dated for twelve whole months. He wasn’t just any man, he was her fiancé; they were

planning to get married sometime in the future. What went wrong? Was it when she let him move in

with her? Her mother said they were living in sin. She was right, but was that the thing that had done

it? Old folks always say why would a man buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Was that it?

Did he just want the milk without the cow? Had he become bored with her or did he ever love her?

Something told her she should never have let him move in. But his moving in had sneaked up on her.

As she thought back, she couldn’t even remember them discussing his moving in. One minute

he started staying overnight, then the overnight turned into days and days turned into weekends with a

handful of his belongings. Then the next thing she knew, he was moving all his clothes in and sharing

rent and utilities. What he’d said was they would be able to save more money for their future together.

The problem, however, was that he rationalized the word ‘engagement’ to be synonymous with

“control.” He decided that they should put their money together in one account because the combined

amount would afford them a higher interest rate. Then he came up with the idea that he would be the

manager of all the money and bills freeing her to take care of other things. It sounded like a good plan

to her because she trusted him. He was her first and only love. They were committed. He assured her

that he would take care of everything. And that he did. When she didn’t clean the apartment like he

thought it should be, he made a cleaning schedule for her. If the food wasn’t prepared to his liking, he

signed her up for a cooking class. On the occasion when her hairstyle no longer suited him, he chose

other ones from hairstyle magazines. When she came home with a shopping bag, he quizzed her about

the source and amount of money spent. He wanted to dole out a weekly allowance for her, all in an

effort to save more money for them. Of course, he didn’t need an allowance since his spending

decisions were always for their benefit, even when it was a personal purchase for him. When she

started a sentence, he finished it. Whenever she made suggestions about their relationship, he told her

she was inappropriate or that it was a stupid idea. He was condescending to her most of the time just to

remind himself that he had the upper hand and was in control. But he only did that because he had the



best in mind for their relationship. When she expressed interest in social activities, he told her they

didn’t have a place in their relationship; unless of course, it was one that he had chosen. As soon as she

mentioned the word worship, he made sure she knew it had no place in his life. After all, he said Sunday

mornings were either to recoup from Saturday nights, for friends to get together to play ball or for guys

to watch favorite sports on television.

Yep, he took care of everything. It was after he left that she discovered the two-month pile of

unopened bills hidden away, and became aware of other bills he hadn’t paid in several months. It

became clear to her how he had taken advantage of her vulnerability, her trust and her innocence.

During the relationship, her discovery of his lies about insignificant things led her to believe that bigger

things were right around the corner. Most of the time she recognized the lies. She chose to overlook

them, hoping things would get better plus she didn’t want to start an argument. However, she had

reached the point that the lies had begun to take their toll on her, and she began to emotionally

separate from him even though she still loved him.

It was during this time that she was able to recognize the change in his personality. He seemed

to descend into a world that existed only between his ears, and he was constantly on a mission to take

her there. His world was a place where no one could be trusted and where individuals were always on a

secret mission to possess his belonging or what he perceived to belong to him. He was so tense from

trying to control everything that he missed the simple pleasures in everyday life. He began accusing her

of being involved with different men and he never wanted her to spend time with her friends.

Sometimes he stopped her from visiting her parents saying she needed to spend time with him. She

couldn’t understand his growing paranoia, but she usually acquiesced in hopes of preventing an

argument.

Yep, her kindness had been taken for weakness, and he had taken cold advantage. Used her,

controlled her and left her. Even though her best friend, Taylor, had warned her early in the

relationship, she wasn’t trying to hear it. She was innocent, naïve and in love for the first time. Now,

more than a year had passed since he walked out, and she had resolved to be a stronger and smarter

woman for it. She saved Douglas’ e-mail to remind her to be just that.

more than a dream excerpt

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