more efficient snow removal - mad 070 - 1962

8/3/2019 More Efficient Snow Removal - Mad 070 - 1962

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1897 Ma rcon i inven ted the f i rs t wi re - In 1923 V. K. Zw oryk in inven ted the

rad io w h ich enab led man to t rans- image iconosco pe wh ich enab led man

h is vo ice across space . . . wh i le to t ransmi t p ic tu res across space

L. K ve tch was c lear in g h is wh i le Sidney L . Kv e tch J r . c leare d h is

-covered wa lk wi th a shov e l snow -cove red wa lk wi th a shov e l .

In 1961 Wernher Von Braun deve l

o p e d a m is s i l e p ro g ra m wh i c h e n

ab le d man to t ransmi t h imse l f ac ross

spacewhi le Sidney L . Kve tch I I I c leare d

h is snow-covered wa lk wi th a shove l .

T H I S I S K N O W N A S P R O G R E S S

o wa days , the on ly peo p le w ho en joy snow fa l ls a r e ch i ld ren , poe t s an d nu t s . T h e

rest o f us f ind i t a dr ag . N o r t h er n com m un i t i es suf fer m ost b eca use sno w s nar ls t raf fic ,

wrecks business , an d fil ls the s t ree ts w i th d i r t y wet s lop . A nd h ow d o we rem ov e snow

in th is m od er n space age? W hy , wi th tha t inge n iou s dev ice , o f cou r sethe m a n wi th the

shove l Ac tua l ly , th i s m e th od succeeds in r em ov i ng mor e peo p le tha n snow, w he n you

cons ide r the n um b er o f he a r t a t t acks su ff e red by shove le r s . H ow eve r , the re a r e g rea t

hu m an i t a r i a ns ha r d a t work so lv ing th i s p ro b le m . . . r ecogn iz ing tha t the re ' s p l en ty o f

dou gh to be m ad e if they can com e up wi th an inve n t io n w h ich w ou ld be the an sw er to

MORE EFFICIENT

SNOW REMOV L

ARTIST: BOB CLARKE

WRITER: AL J AFFEE

H E A V Y SN O W F A L L S P A R A L Y ZE M O D E R N L I F E

i . |

i

rr Hi"

ii

if

PICA L LITTLE T O W N PAR ALY ZED BY SN OW : Al though i ts blanket of snow, it is actual ly in terrible shape . . .

town looks picturesque and peaceful under mainly because this typical l i tt le town is New York City

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H O W H E A VY S N O W S PAR ALYZE

PARALYZED TRAFFIC

PARALYZED CONSUMER TRADE

City t raf f ic locked

in by

snow cannot budge.

Of

course Natural ly re tai l businessmen suffer acute ly durin g snow

it cannot budge

in

summer either

butat

least there

are

except

for afew

opportunists

who do we l l .

Paralysis sets

pretty girls

in

c l inging dresses

to

watch w hi le wa i t ing.

in

when consumer hears prices

of

needed shovel sal t

etc.

SUGGESTED SOLUTIONS TO

M O D E R N S C I E N C E H SC O M E

MECH NIC L SNOW MELTING PROCESS

This suggested solution involves

a

special m achine which

is mounted

ona

t ruck

and

shoots

a jet

stream

ofhotair

at

the

snow.

Of

course this

jet

s tream must

be

qui te

hot

otherwise winter temperatures would render

it

ineffect ive.

Unfortunately there

are

several drawbacks

to

this idea.

First

of all if the jet

stream

of air is hot

enough

it

melts more than just

the

snow. Secondly

the

mel ted snow

soon freezes over again locking everything

in

sol id

ice.


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INTHE

C I T Y

PARALYZED COMMUTERS PARALYZED PEDESTRIANS

i

in

stal led trains

arein

real t rouble. Hunger Frigid weather accompa nying snow forces many pedestr ians

tardiness

are

annoying.

But

real t rouble comes

to

seek shelter

and

warm ing d rink. Paralysis sets

in

when

in

when heat ing systems

fa i l . too

many warming drinks turn pedestrians sti ff

as

boards.

NOW REMOVAL PROBLEM

CHEMIC L SNOW MELTING PROCESS

This ingenious solution requires theuseof hel icopters special ly-developed chemical that mel ts snowand

which sprink le

the

c i ty wi th thousands

of

gal lons

of

some permi t

it to

f reeze again. This solves

the

snow

does

not

prob lem.

Unfortunately it does not solve thewater prob lem since that much mel ted snowat onet ime . O bviously thepresent

there

isno

sewer system

yet

devised capable

of

hand ling solutions

to the

problem

of

snow removal

are

inadequate.


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MAD S ULTIMATE SOLUTION TO

THE PROBLEM OF SIMOW REMOVAL

T H I S B R I L L I A N T ID E A IS O F F E R E D BY T H E E D I T O R S - F R E E - A S A P U B L IC S ER V IC E

Whe n Weather Bureau predicts imminent snowstorm police civil defense corps

etc.

see to it

that

ll

city streets

nd

sidewalks

re

immediately evacuated.

Thousands

of

dump trucks previously chartered for just such an emergency are

then driven in and parked onevery square inch of city streets and sidewalks.

When blizzard strikes ndsnow begins falling it merely fills up the trucks.

Then after the storm passes

ll

they

do is

drive away

nd

dump their loads.

more efficient snow removal - mad 070 - 1962

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