MoralInjury,SoulRepair,andCongregations

Rev.RitaNakashimaBrock,Ph.D.,ResearchProfessorofTheologyandCultureandFoundingCo-Director,TheSoulRepairCenteratBriteDivinitySchool

MoralInjury’isatermusedtodescribeasyndromeofshame,self-handicapping,anger,anddemoralizationthatoccurswhendeeplyheldbeliefsandexpectationsaboutmoralandethicalconductaretransgressed.Itisdistinctfromalifethreatasitisalsonotinherentlyfear-based;rather,duringwar,moralinjurycanarisefromkilling,perpetrationofviolence,betrayalsoftrustinleaders,witnessingdepravedbehavior,orfailingtopreventseriousunethicalacts.

--Litz,B.T.,etal.AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury(NY:GuilfordPress,2016,p.21)

Whendoeswarend(numbersrefertoreferences)?• Whenthetroopscomehome,warremainswiththem,andthestruggletoreturntocivilianlifecan

feelworsethancombat.(1,8,14)• Thegreaterthesenseofpersonalresponsibilityforanactofwar,thehigherthesuiciderisk.• Veteranswhohavekilledhavea2-3timesgreaterrateofsuicidethanothervets,independentof

otherfactorssuchasPTSD,depression,andaddiction.(12)• Ratesinyoungervetshavebeenrisingsince2005.NCOratesarehigherthanofficers.Womenhave

higherratesthanmen,withanestimatedfourtosixtimeshigherrateofmilitarysexualassaultandhigherpost-traumaticstressrates.Overallveteransuicideratesaresquishy,withonly20statesreporting(withoutTexasorCalifornia),butareminimally22adayorthreetimescivilianrates.(1)

• Around52,000veteransofOEFandOIFhavephysicalinjuries.Around500,000(tentimesasmany)or25%havesoughVAhelpforinvisiblewoundslikeposttraumaticstressandover50%admitstrugglingwiththereturnhome.(8)

• Familieshavetodealwiththestressesofdeploymentsandthestressesofhavingadifferentpersoncomehome.Wecannotexpectthemtohandleallthedifficultiesofcominghome.(8)

HowMoralFormationHappensfromAges2to27(CortexOrganizationandDevelopment)

• Mimicryofcaregiversformsneuralpathwaysviaattentionandrepetitionsomoralbehaviorisnotconscious(“Dumbfounding”—peopleordinarilybehavemorallyviabodymemory,withoutconsciousintent).Neuroplasticitycontinuesthroughoutlifeaswelearnnewskillsviaattentionandrepetition.

• Ritualteachesandorganizesmoralvalues(ritual=directed,prescribed,repeatedbehaviorsthatbecomehabitualwithinaculturalmeaningsystem)ascapacitytothinkandorganizememorygrows.

• Ritualdeliversmeaning(valuesystem)withfeeling(relationshipstructures)tolinguisticpatterns(words)andnarratives(storiesand/orreligiousmyths),sodoingrituallinkstomeaningandfeeling.

• Feelingsarecontagiousatunconsciouslevelsbecauseofourconstantattunementtoothers.• Moralreasoningisgroundedinmeaningframesandbecomesnecessarywhenconflictsemerge.• Ritualreconditioning,ifintenseandprolonged,canlayernewmoralsystemsontopofearlierones,

especiallyinformativestagesoflateadolescenceandearlyadulthood.• Previousmoralsystemsarenotfullyerased,butfunctionlikeapalimpsest(fromGrk:pálinagain+

psēstósscraped,rubbed;avellumorparchmentmanuscriptpagefromascrollorbook,fromwhichthetexthasbeeneitherscrapedorwashedoffsothatthepagecanbereused.ErasedmaterialbleedsthroughorcanbedetectedviaUVlight.)Oldcontentcanberetainedandchallengenewsystems,orremainasatelltaletracethathauntsthenewsystem.

• Transitioningfromonemoralsystemtoanothercancausestruggleorevenimpassewhenintegratingconflictingsystems(ex.Killingiscriminalvs.killingenemiesisgood).

WhatisSoulorSpirit?

• ExistentialSelf-Awareness(self-otherdistinction)• DeepConnectiontoHumanityinOthersandtoPowerandBeautyofCreation• CapacityforTrust,Love,Gratitude,Play,InnerPeaceandCalm—the“stillpointinastorm”• EmpathyandConscienceviaPresenceandFocusedAwareness

ü Vicariousemotions:bodilyandemotionalawarenessofinternalstateofothersbutawarenessthatthisisnotpersonal(notemotionalcontagionbutemotionalengagementwithothers)

ü Awarenessofdifferencebetweenselfandotherthatevokesdesiretohelpthoseindistress,withoutconfusingselfandother—akindofemotionalmirroring(doesnotrequiresympathy,i.e.havinghadasimilarexperience)

ü Mentalflexibility,perspective,andself-regulation(i.e.painregulationandeffortfulself-control)=integrationoffeelingandthinking

TheBrain-BodySelf

Brainhasthreelayersthatinteractwiththebody.

1. Lowerbrainstemthatcontrolsfunctionslikebreathing,heartrate,digestion,etc.

2. MidBrainorlimbicsystem(enlargedinMRIPTSDimage)controlsperception,emotions,andmemoryprocesses.Regulateshowwerelatetotheworldaroundusviaperceptionandemotionsthatdetermineresponses,oftenbeforeconsciousthought.Extremeemotionscanbedifficulttooverridebythinking.Esp.theAmygdala=thefearcenter.

3. Top(topofMRIimages),calledprefrontalcortexorexecutivebrain,managesmoralreasoning,behavior,pattern,andtimemanagement,andprocessesmeaning,empathy,andnarrativememory.

MilitaryTrainingChangesEarlierCivilianMoralSystemfor“BattleReadiness”

• BasicTrainingSocializestoaNewMoralSystemviaRitualwithinaTotalSystemü Intense,prolonged,severereconditioningofwholepersontorestrictattachmenttopersonal

identity.ü Focusedgroupethosandbonding.ü Strong,ritualized,controlledaspectsofallactivities(includingsleep,foodconsumption,

elimination,walking,etc.),withmessagingandnew,insiderlanguage.ü Emphasizesnewmoralcodes:candor,commitment,courage,confidence,competence,

camaraderie,rulesofengagement.ü Teachesreflexivefiretraininginshootingtospeedresponsesandassureskill.ü Collectiveconsequencesforindividualfailure.

• MilitaryTrainingisthoroughandpreparespeopleforvariousrolesinwar.ü Warprovesvalueoftraining.Theymustacceptresponsibilityforexercisinglethalpower

underordersandonbehalfofthenation,whichsendsthemandpaysforit.ü Failureofdutyandincompetencecanhavelifeanddeathconsequences.

PostTraumaticStressIsARealInjury

War:HighStressConditionsofViolencewithSituationsofMoralAmbiguityandTraumaticInjury

• PTSDdefinedasatrauma-relateddisorder,withfear-relatedsymptoms.(21)

• Extremeterror(includingangerandaggression)canoverstimulatefearcenters,whichgrowtohandleoverloadoffearandbecomeoveractive.Thinkingcortexlosestissueandweakens.

• PTSDdiagnosisisstress-traumaproblemwithdominationbyfearresponses:hyper-vigilance,startlereflex,panicattacks,shallowbreaths,agoraphobia,etc..

• Fearshutsdownmemoryprocessing(hippocampus)sostoredexperiencesarescattered,disorganized.Memoryparasitescaneruptasflashbacksornightmares,dissociativedisorders.

MoralDisruptionsofWar

• ReflexiveFireTraining• DehumanizationofEnemy• EncounteringandHandlinghuman

remains• Killing,espkillingoutsiderulesof

engagement• Noncombatants• Friendlyfire• Rage,elation,orvengeance

killing• FailuretoSaveOthers• FailureofLeadership• Doubtaboutgoalsormission• LossofFaithandMeaning• BetrayalbyAuthorities• SexualAssault

DiagrambyBillNashinWoods,D.(20)

EmotionsInvolvedinMoralInjury

• Anger,Outrage—J.Shay(16)referstoberserkrageatbetrayalbyauthoritiesinVietnamgeneration.

• Embarrassment• Guilt—outwardmovingtorepairrelationship,survivorguilt,guiltatnotdeploying• Failure—unabletosavefriendorcompletemission• Shame—comprehensiveself-condemnation,isolating,self-loathing• Alienation—hidinginnerself,feelingunworthyofloveorfearingthatotherswilljudge,feeling

dividedwithinoneself• Humiliation—whenshameismadepublic• Remorse—regretandurgetomakeamends• Grief—inabiitytoprocessmassivelosses,canpresentasanger• Despair—nowaytobecomedecentselfagain,depression

Relation)of)PTSD)to)Moral)Injury)

MoralInjuryExposures:WhatTheyCan’tForget

“We are still living in the wreckage created by the Cabinet on which Mr. McNamara served. … The ghosts of those unlived lives circle close around Mr. McNamara. Surely he must in every quiet and prosperous moment hear the ceaseless whispers of those poor boys in the infantry, dying in the tall grass, platoon by platoon, for no purpose. What he took from them cannot be repaid by prime-time apology and stale tears, three decades late. …That black wall is wide with the names of people who died in a war that he did not, at first, carefully research or, in the end, believe to be necessary.”

--New York Times, April 12, 1995 Betrayal by authorities

TrumanSmith,LTC,U.S.Army8thAirForce,TheWrongStuff,WWIIB-17co-pilotwhoflew35missionsoverGermanyandFrance.

“[G]oodguysdon’twinwars,victorygoestothebadguys.TheJaps,astheywerecalled,…andtheNazis…werefinallydefeated….becausewewerebetteratbeingbadthantheywere.We’retheonlysonsofbitchesintheworldwhohavedroppedatomicbombsonciviliansandasbadasthatwas,wecreatedmoredestructionandkilledevenmorewomen,children,andelderlywiththeconventionalbombingofDresden,Hamburg,Berlin,andcountlessothertargets–‘whenindoubt,aimforthechurchinthemiddleoftownwheremostofthemlive!’

MichaelYandell,M.Div.BriteDiv.Sch.,Ph.D.StudentinTheology,EmoryUniv.EODinIraq,StoryinNewYorkTimes,Oct.14,2014,C.Chivers,“TheSecretCasualtiesofIraq’sAbandonedChemicalWeapons.”MoralInjuryTestimony:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex_2pS6Ekkk

LossesinComingHome• Lossofclosestfriends;isolationfromunit• Lossofinnocenceorsenseofgoodness• Lossofunitdisciplineandsystemthatsustainedphysicalhealth• Lossofweapon• Lossofrole/purposeforothers• Lossoffamilyorcapacityforintimacy–conflict/divorce• Lossoffaithandmeaningcommunity• Lossofself—willneverbethesame,foreverchanged

AspectsofMoralInjury

• Canemergelongaftereventsorexperiences,liketheresidueofapalimpsest.• Isanaspectofeverywarandmilitaryservice• CreatesIsolation• Canresultfromothertraumassuchasnaturaldisasters,sexualassault,etc.• Canaffectmanyprofessions(medical,lawenforcement,socialwork,ministry)• Canemergeas“secondary”traumaincaregivers

SoulRepair

Individual/SocialDimensionsofLong-termRecovery• Writingpersonalnarratives;externalizinginnerstruggleandtellingstorytoothersmanytimes.As

theyareretold,theolderlayersoftheselfcanemergeintheretellings,likeaUVlightthrownonthememories.

• Talkingtobenevolentmoralauthoritytoprocessmoralandtheologicalstruggles• Integratingmemory/storyintolargerpicture—gainperspectiveontrauma,ratherthanbecontrolled

bytrauma;asmemoryisprocessedovertime,itwillchangeasnewexperiencesaccumulate• Reconnectionwithestrangedothers,espfamily• Veteransupportsystems;findingcommunitybeyondotherveterans• RehumanizationofEnemies,lessenneedtohateorfear• CompanionsforSupport• Long-termaccountabilitycommunitytosustainprocess

Rituals

• Lamentationtoprocessgriefforvariouskindsoflosses.• Liminalspace(sequesteroutsideordinarytimeandspace—“eternalnow”)totransitionfrom

militarylifeandidentitytociviliancommunitythatunderstandsandcares(ex.NavajoEnemyway,orancientChristianpenancesystem).Thisprocessplacesanindividualstorywithinthecontextofalargeronetorestoremeaningandbelonging.

• Regularuseofarts,suchasmusic,dance,theater,writinggroups,visualart,tointegrateallthreebrainareasandprocessexperience.

• Findwaystorehumanizeenemies,restoreconnectionstolife,anddeepenvulnerabilityinrelationships.

• Formalcommissioningforserviceworkbeingpartofateam,othersymbolsofbelongingtoalargermissionandmeaningsystem.Individuallifematterstoothers.

Community/CongregationWork:

• Manypeoplecanhavemoralinjury,espthosewhoworkunderemergencylifeordeathconditions(medicalcaregivers,EMTs,lawenforcementofficers,prisonguards,gangmembers,peopleinnaturaldisasters,etc.)

• Preachonmoralinjuryandeducateyourentirecommunityaboutit• Encourageallinthecommunitytoreflectontheirrelationshiptowar,moralinjury,andmilitary

service,includingwhattheycanlearnfromveterans.• Prepareawelcomingcontextby

ü Offeringministriesofpresencethroughopenheartedacceptanceü Practicingdeeplistening(seedetailsbelow)ü Attendingtowaystocreatesafegatheringspacesforthosestrugglingwithpost-traumatic

stresssymptomsandmoralinjuryü Notexpectingallveteranswhoparticipateinprogramstoattendworshiporjointhechurch

• Thinkcreativelyabouthowpeoplecanbeinyourcommunity,iftheyarenotinterestedinorareunabletobeinregularworshipservices

ü Singinggroupswithritualsü Ministrythroughanimals(equinetherapy,servicedogs,andpets)ü SportsorFestivalsthathelprestoreplayfulness,relaxationü Prayer/meditationgroupsü Ritualsspecificallyforveteransandfriendsü HostingaMoralInjuryRecoveryGroup(seeCenterwebsiteforbookletunder“Resources”)

• Organizegroupsthatfacilitatetellingpersonalstories(storiesneedtobetoldmultipletimesforapersontogetcontroloftheirstory)

ü Discussiongroupstostudymemoirs,warnovels,poetry,oressays(sixweekstudyguideforthebookSoulRepairattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)

ü MoralinjuryRecoveryGroupü Writinggroupsusingwritingpromptstocreatepoetryorpersonalstoriesü Artcreationgroups,visual,kinesthetic,musical,literary,etc.

• Developritualpracticegroupstolearnandsustainembodiedcalmingprocesses,reflection,spiritualdisciplines

ü Meditationü ContemplativePrayerü Yogaü LabyrinthWalking

• GotoStandDownssponsoredbyVAinyourcommunity• OfferopportunitiesforServicetoOthersandWaystoInteractwhilerestoringbalanceofgoodinthe

world(TikkunOlam,repairingtheworld)• Workwithcampusministersandemployerstoeducatetheirentirecommunitiesaboutmoralinjury

andhowtosupportrecovery—don’ttreatveteransasaspecialneedspopulation,butaspeoplewhocontributetothecommunity.

• Encouragetheologicalschoolstoteachcoursesonmoralinjury(asamplesyllabusisattheCenterwebsite,under“Resources”)

Self-careforCaregivers:

• FactorsinBurnoutü Stressfuljob(HighStakes,LackofControl)ü Constantneedfordocumentationü Hostileorincompetentauthorityenvironmentü ReducedSenseofPersonalAccomplishmentü Inadequatedowntimeorrestü Lonelyorisolatedbyrankand/orjobü FamilyPressures

• StrategiesforSelf-Careü Learnaspiritualpracticeü Taketimetoreflectandprocessü Keepajournalorspendafew

minutesadaytalkingtoyourselfinsecondperson(“YouneedtorethinkwhatyousaidtoXtoday,”“Youhandledthattoughonewelltoday.”)

ü Getenoughsleep,atleast8hrsaday.Learngoodsleephygienehabits.

Rememberthatmoralinjuryisnotadisorder,butanormalhumanresponsetoextremityandthedisruptiveimpactonthehumansoulofviolenceandmoralfailure.Respectforveteransmeanswemustbewillingtolistenandlearnfromthem,toacceptourresponsibilityforwhattheywereaskedtodoonourbehalf(whetherornotweagreedwithit)andtobefriendthem,ratherthanthinkingthatwearetakingcareoforsavingthem.Ittakesalongjourneyforallofustorecover,butrecoveryispossible.

Recovery((

Resources

Visittheresourcespageatwww.brite.edu/soulrepairYouwillfindanannotatedbibliographyofbooks,bothfictionandnonfiction,aswellasnewsarticles,essays,blogs,films,andvideos.Thereareresourcesforcongregations,forscholars,andforthegeneralpublic.

Ifyoufindausefulresourcethatisnotlisted,pleaseletusknowaboutitbyemailingDr.Brockatr.n.brock@tcu.edu.

Referencesforthispowerpoint:

1. “2012SuicideDataReport:VHAResponseandExecutiveSummary,”http://www.va.gov/opa/docs/response-and-execsum-suicide-data-report-2012-final.pdf.

2. Alcorta,C.S.andSosis,R.2005.“Ritual,Emotion,andSacredSymbols:TheEvolutionofReligionasanAdaptiveComplex.”HumanNature,vol.16,no.4:323–359.

3. Brock,R.andLettini,G.2012.SoulRepair:RecoveringfromMoralInjuryAfterWar,BrockandLettini.Boston:Beacon.

4. Dewey,L.2004.WarandRedemptionTreatmentandRecoveryinCombat-RelatedTraumaticStressDisorder.BurlingtonVT:AshgatePubLtd.

5. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2013,“MoralityandMoralInjury:InsightsfromTheologyandHealthScience,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry,vol.33http://journals.sfu.ca/rpfs/index.php/rpfs/article/viewFile/262/261.

6. Drescher,K.,et.al.,2011.“AnExplorationoftheViabilityandUsefulnessoftheConstructofMoralInjuryinWarVeterans,”Traumatology.vol.17no.1,8-13.

7. Goodell,J.andHearn,J.E.2011.ShadeItBlack:DeathandafterinIraq.Philadelphia:CasematePublishers.

8. Hosek,J.ed.,2011,“HowisDeploymenttoIraqandAfghanistanaffectingU.S.serviceMembersandTheirFamilies?”RANDNationalDefenseResearchInstitute,http://www.rand.org/content/dam/rand/pubs/occasional_papers/2011/RAND_OP316.pdf.

9. Junger,S.Director.2014.“Korengal,”GoldCrestFilms.Levine,M.ed.http://korengalthemovie.com/.

10. Knowles,C.2013.“NotestowardaNeuropsychologyofMoralInjury,”ReflectivePractice:FormationandSupervisioninMinistry.vol.33

11. Litz,B.T.,etal.AdaptiveDisclosure:ANewTreatmentforMilitaryTrauma,Loss,andMoralInjury(NY:GuilfordPress,2016)

12. Maguen,S.,et.al.2011.“KillinginCombat,MentalHealthSymptoms,andSuicidalIdeationinIraqWarVeterans,”JournalofAnxietyDisorders25,no.4:563-567.

13. Nez.C.andAvila,J.S.2011.CodeTalker:TheFirstandOnlyMemoirByOneoftheOriginalNavajoCodeTalkersofWWII.NewYork:PenguinGroup.

14. PewResearchSocialandDemographicTrends,“WarandSacrificeinthePost-9/11Era:TheMilitary-CivilianGap,”Oct.5,2011,http://www.pewsocialtrends.org/2011/10/05/war-and-sacrifice-in-the-post-911-era/

15. Schwartz,J.andBegley,S.2003.TheMindandtheBrain:NeuroplasticityandthePowerofMentalForce.NewYork,NY:HarperPerennial.

16. Shay,J.1994.AchillesinVietnam:CombatTraumaandtheUndoingofCharacter.NewYork:Scribner.

17. Synder,J.2014“’Blood,Guts,andGoreGalore’:Bodies,MoralPollution,andCombatTrauma”SymbolicInteraction.September2014.DOI:10.1002/SYMB.116.

18. VanDerKolk,B.2014.TheBodyKeepstheScore:Brain,Mind,andBodyintheHealingofTrauma.NewYork,NY:PenguinGroupLLC.

19. Verkamp,G.2005.MoralTreatmentofReturningWarriorsinEarlyMedievalandModernTimes.Scranton:UofScrantonPress.

20. Woods,D.,“MoralInjury,”HuffingtonPost,March18-20,2014,http://projects.huffingtonpost.com/moral-injury.

21. SeeVAwebsiteformanyresourcesonPTSD,http://www.ptsd.va.gov/

WaysofDeepListening1.Smallgroups:http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=15570

InTheSacredArtofListening,KayLindahlwrites:

There'ssomethingbeyondtechniquewhentwoormorepeoplearedeeplylisteningtoeachother.Itisanawarenessthatnotonlyarewepresenttoeachother,wearepresenttosomethingthatisspiritual,holy,sacred.

Such"deeplistening"goesagainsttheculturalgrain.LindahlcitesresearchstudiesbytheInternationalListeningAssociation:wespendabout45percentofourtimelistening,butwearedistracted,preoccupied,orforgetfulabout75percentofthattime.Theaverageattentionspanforadultsisabout22seconds.Immediatelyafterlisteningtosomeonetalk,weusuallyrecallonlyabouthalfofwhatwe'veheard;withinafewhours,onlyabout20percent.

Herearesomeapproachesfordeeplistening.

l.Startwitharitual.Atthebeginning,lightacandleorsoundagong,forex.,tosignifythatthisisatimeforfocusedattention.Theritualmarksthespaceasspecialandheightensthefeelingofintimacyduringaconversation.

2.Listenforunderstanding,notjudgmentorevaluation.Giveyourfullattentiontothespeaker.Thisiseasiertodowhenyouarenotdistractedbyplanningwhatyouwanttosay,youropinion,orhowyoushouldtorespond.Knowingtherewillbenoquestionsandaskingpeopletositinsilenceaftersomeonespeaksallowswhatissaidtosettleintoourheartsandbereceived.Youarenottheretoanalyze,judge,ortrytofixanother'sexperience,justtobefullyawareofthemandtobepresenttothem.Lindahlwrites:"Youdonothavetoagreewithorbelieveanythingthatissaid.Yourjobistolistenforunderstanding."

3.Listenandspeakfromyourheart.Thismeansyoumustbeopenandvulnerable,willingtodescribeyouryearningsandadmityourfailings.Thelisteningspaceislesssafeplaceifwearenothearingwithopenmindsandlovinghearts--andmoreanxiousiflistenersrespondbyevaluatingandjudging—thesearewaysofkeepingothersoutofourhearts.

4.Respectthepoweranddifficultyofspeakingandaskfirstifyouwanttosharesomeone’sstory(thisagreementofwhetherornotcommentsneedtobeconfidentialshouldbedecidedaheadifthegroupisclosedandprivate).

Thisstyleoflisteningwithoutcommentisnotalwaysappropriate.Obviously,thereareoccasionswhenyouneedtobeengagedindialogueandyourresponsesareexpected.Buttrythisapproachtolisteningatleastsomeofthetime.Betrulypresenttothespeaker.Don'tbedistractedbyyourplans,assumptions,judgments,orneedtorespond.Experiencethedeepcommunionthatispossibleasyoudeeplylistentoanother.

2.ClassroomAttentive,ReceptiveListening:http://www.contemplativemind.org/practices/tree/deep-listening

DeepListeningisawayofhearinginwhichwearefullypresentwithwhatishappeninginthemomentwithouttryingtocontrolitorjudgeit.Weletgoofourinnerclamoringandourusualassumptionsandlistenwithrespectforpreciselywhatisbeingsaid.

Forlisteningtobeeffective,werequireacontemplativemind:open,fresh,alert,attentive,calm,andreceptive.Weoftendonothaveaclearconceptoflisteningasanactiveprocess;weoftenseelisteningasapassive,staticactivity.Infact,listeningandacontemplativemindisopenandvibrantyetspacious,anditcanbecultivatedthroughinstructionandpractice.

Asaclassroompractice,deeplisteningrequiresthatstudentswitnesstheirthoughtsandemotionswhilemaintainingfocusedattentiononwhattheyarehearing.Ittrainsthemtopayfullattentionto

thesoundofthewords,whileabandoningsuchhabitsasplanningtheirnextstatementorinterruptingthespeaker.Itisattentiveratherthanreactivelistening.Suchlisteningnotonlyincreasesretentionofmaterialbutencouragesinsightandthemakingofmeaning.

Inconversation,weareoftensofocusedonprojectingouropinionsanddefendingouragendathatwefailtohearthevoicesofothers.Thistendencyiswhydeeplisteningpracticeschallengethewaywenormallyengageinconversation.Deeplisteningpracticesrelyonacommitmenttoself-controlandself-and-other-awareness.

3.Generalresource:http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/what_is_deep_listening.html

From"SlowingDowntotheSpeedofLove"

FromJoeBailey,alicensedpsychologist.

Deeplisteningoccurswhenyourmindisquiet.Yourthoughtsareflowingratherthancrowdingyourmindwithdistractions,interpretations,judgments,conclusions,orassumptions.Yourmindisopen,curious,interested--asthoughyouwerehearingthispersonforthefirsttime.

• Deeplisteningislisteningintentlyandopenly,wearen’tanalyzingorfiguringout--wearesimplylettingthefeelingsandsoundsaffectus.

• Deeplisteningisnotdefensive,argumentative,orintrusive.Itisnotaboutstrugglingtoanalyzeorinterpret.Itisapurelyreceptivestateofmind.Inastateofdeeplistening,werealizeouroneness.

• Werealizethatwearenotseparate,buttrulyonespirit--weareconnected.• Whenwelistendeeply,weletgoofanybeliefswehaveabouttheotherperson.Weletgoofour

prejudicesandpastmemoriesofhimorher.

PreparationviaMeditation:

• Trytositstableandstill,likeamountain.Berelaxedandalert.• Listentowhatyouhear.• Donotimagine,name,oranalyzewhatyouhear.Justlistenwithwide-openawareness.• Asthoughts,emotions,memories,associationsariseinyourmind,noticethem,gentlyletthemgo,

andreturntothespeaker.• Radarthatgoesoutlookingforsomethingandasatellitedishwithawiderangejustsitsinthe

backyard,waiting.Beasatellitedish.Stayturnedonandreceive.• Iftherearenosounds,listen,andrestinthesilence.

Deeplisteningappliesnotonlytocommunicationwithanother,butalsotolisteningtoourselvesandtolifeingeneral.Thegoalofdeeplisteningistohearbeyondthewordsoftheotherpersonandyourself,totheessenceofwhatthewordsandfeelingsarepointingto.Yourmindandheartarejoinedinunion--youarelisteningwholeheartedly.

Thegoalofdeeplisteningistobetouchedbytheotherperson,embracehisorherstoryandtruth,andtoheartheessenceofwhatheorsheissaying.Deeplisteningisbasedonempathyandrespect.Informationprovidedheremaybeusedwithcitation.