momaha the magazine

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inside Tiffanie McCowin: Born to Nurture

Fresh as springeasy decorating, organizing ideas for your child’s room

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4 MARCH 2012 v momaha .comv where moms connect

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Momaha Magazine is a monthly publication of the Omaha World-Herald, 1314 Douglas St., Suite 600, Omaha NE 68102. Momaha is a registered trademark, and all content is copyright 2012 by the Omaha World-Herald. All rights reserved. The opinions and perspectives published herein are those of the authors and should not be construed as those of Momaha Magazine.

volume 3 v issue 3 v march 2012

editorial directorCHRIS [email protected] 402-444-1094

momaha.com editorJOSIE LOz A

copy editorAMY LaMAR

production coordinatorPATRIC IA “MURPHY” BENOIT

cover photo HOME OF SHEILA AND GREG TAYLOR PHOTOGRAPHED BY DANIEL JOHNSON

contributing writersL ISA ANDRE WS v K IM CARPENTER v MYR A K ATHERINE FR IT z

v T INA K ING v AMY TOKOS

to advertise, contactKRIST INE [email protected] 402-444-1442

JESSICA FREEDMAN [email protected] 402-444-1416

MICHAEL A HANE [email protected] 402-444-1489

Matching games. Cupcake games. Animal games.

A red blob dubbed “Talking Carl,” who repeats what you say in a funny high-pitched voice.

That’s the extent of my 3-year-old daughter, Alejandra’s, iPad experience. She’s not reading digital books. They don’t excite her.

I know there are moms who rave about their Nooks and Kindles, but I can’t get myself

to buy one. I’m still big on traditional books. And for good reason.

A paper book is a tangible object. You can hold it, hug it, flip through it. (Shh, don’t tell our librarian that Gabriella, 1, gnaws on picture books.)

Paper books engage a child’s imagination.

“It’s about the exploratory stage and book awareness that’s so important,” said Mary Mollner, downtown children’s librarian, in a recent World-Herald article. “Pushing buttons is not the same as turning pages.” Nor is it the same as tasting it and seeing it. “You can’t pick up an e-reader and chew it, lick it or sit on it.”

Hmm, Gabriella may be on to something.

Our family visits the library at least once a week. If we don’t, Alejandra pitches a fit. She loves the library process. She runs to the children’s book area and randomly pulls books to borrow. Her new favorites are “Llama Llama Misses Mama” by Anna Dewdney and “Have You Seen My Cat?” by Eric Carle.

At checkout, she handles her library card as if it was a credit card.

“The receipt in the bag,” she says. “Thanks.”

The joy of turning pages, gnawing bookends

jos ie loza v momaha.com editor

Josie Loza is Momaha.com editor and mother to Bobby Jr., 8, Alejandra, 3, and Gabriella, 12 months.

Chat with Josie each Friday from 2 p.m. to 3 p.m. on momaha.com.

Friend her on Facebook/josie.loza

Follow her on [email protected]

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tina king v CONTRIBUTOR

Born to nurtureTiffanie McCowin has been taking care of people since she was 7 years old.

From that age until she was 19, Tiffanie helped her grandmother, who was paralyzed from the neck down, keep house and pay bills.

She didn’t realize it then, but Tiffanie would one day grow up to teach those same skills to many others – people who haven’t picked up those essential life lessons from anyone else along the way.

“I really want to be a role model for the people that I serve and for my kids,” Tiffanie said.

And she is.

In addition to being a busy mother of four, the 40-year-old oversees many of the Salvation Army’s busiest efforts in Omaha. Tiffanie works for the Lied Renaissance Center at 36th and Cuming Streets, where she is in charge of programs that provide those in need with food, clothing, fans and backpacks.

Tiffanie McCowin oversees Salvation Army programs that provide food, toys, clothing and backpacks to those in need in Greater Omaha.

WORLD-HERALD PHOTOS

TIffaNIe McCOwIN pUTs OTheRs fIRsT

Continued on next page


FAvOriTe SnApShOT: Tiffanie is mom to Lester, 17; Corie, 8; Canetria, 22; and Jerome, 4.

Her office also provides bus tickets, prescription vouchers and gasoline.

She is even busier during the holidays since Tiffanie coordinates the Salvation Army’s annual Adopt-a-Family and Toyland programs. Combined they serve more than 15,000 people.

“It’s a lot of work, but you get those people who will call you back and tell you how grateful they are,” Tiffanie said.

She joined the Salvation Army’s payroll about 10 years ago after volunteering for the organization in years prior. Her first job in the case management field involved working with teenage state wards at a girls’ home. Many of the wards were pregnant or were already mothers. Tiffanie spent a lot of her time preparing the girls so they could face their responsibilities. She also taught them how to care for their children.

She moved on to manage the Salvation Army’s transitional housing program, in which families can stay for up to 18 months in between being homeless and finding suitable housing. Many of the residents are facing issues such as abandonment and domestic violence.

In this role, again Tiffanie stepped in to help teach money management and housekeeping skills. She referred residents to other resources such as bankruptcy and child custody lawyers, substance abuse counselors and federal

offices so they could file for financial assistance.

She is proud that 95 percent of the families she helped were able to find homes of their own. “We follow them to the very end,” she said. “That’s what we do. We’re here to help.”

She admits that the cases involving substance abuse and child custody were especially difficult. The hardest part, though, was when she could tell that she had more faith in people than they had in themselves. Tiffanie wound up being the one person who wouldn’t give up on them.

It’s just part of her compassionate nature, friends said, as well as her belief that everyone deserves to have an advocate.

“I’ve never met anyone except her who puts everyone else’s needs above her own,” said Sharan Bryson, a longtime friend.

Although Tiffanie left the transitional housing job for her current position in the summer of 2011, she still gets calls and updates from some of the families that she helped. Sometimes they want her assistance with making a tough decision; other times they just want to let her know about how well they are doing.

Tiffanie doesn’t leave her nurturing side at work. She has a husband and four kids ranging from age 4 to 22 at home. She laughs about their widespread age range, saying that it’s not unusual for her to be teaching her oldest how to prepare a big meal while teaching her youngest how to write his name.

Like many moms, she volunteers at church and at her kids’ schools. Somehow, she also finds time to be a Girl Scouts “cookie mom.”

“She is just a person who gives all of herself to everything she does,” said Bryson.

That includes her friends.

When Bryson was hospitalized for four months, it was Tiffanie who decorated her hospital room for a 40th birthday celebration.

“She is just totally awesome,” Bryson said.

“I’ve never met anyone except her who puts everyone else’s needs above her own.” – Sharan Bryson, longtime friend


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8 pureed strawberries1 tablespoon olive oil1 tablespoon vegetable oil 2 cups sugar

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rose-Scented Bubble Bath For a romantic soak, add fresh rose petals to bath water.

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beaut i fu l you v yourhealth

Beauty blogger Erika Katz offers simple and fun activities and thoughtful advice for moms of tweens in her new book, “Bonding Over Beauty: A Mother-Daughter Beauty Guide to Foster Self-Esteem, Con-fidence and Trust” ($14.95, Greenleaf Press). Katz loads up on suggestions for mother-daughter time. She and her tween enjoy making organic scrubs and masks for themselves and special women in their lives. Katz’s recipes call for ingredients you probably have on-hand or can easily add to this week’s grocery list.

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GET A CLUE v yourlife


HORSE FEVER: saDDLe Up fOR a wORLD-CLass eXpeRIeNCe

It’s called “horse fever,” and it often strikes kids who have spent no more time with a horse than it takes to ride a pony at the fair.

Symptoms include what can only be described as a deep yearning for all things horse-related. And before you know it, you have a decidedly equine theme going on in the toy box.

Whether you’re a mom who knows a little or a lot about horses, a special event coming up at CenturyLink Center Omaha on April 20 and 21 is sure to teach you much about the equine world.

The International is an indoor horse jumping competition. Think jumps of more than 4½ feet and an educational expo geared toward families. You can see horses in their stalls, listen to trainers prepare the horses for

competition and check out hands-on exhibits. There is even a bit of shopping thrown in too. “We will have volunteers stationed throughout the facility so people can learn about this great sport,” said organizer Lisa Yanney Roskens of the Omaha Equestrian Foundation.

The daytime classes are free to the public. The competitors are amateurs and juniors, so families will be showing and competing. “Moms can watch moms ride and kids can watch kids ride,” Roskens said.

Admission is charged for the evening shows which feature elite competitors who will be attempting serious jumps.

Roskens has a 9-year-old horse-crazy daughter, and the mom herself fell in love with riding when she was 5.

It’s a sport that builds character and responsibility, she said. “One of the

most striking things is that in most stables, part of the experience is grooming, tacking and preparing the horse for the ride, as well as putting them away afterward,” she said. “Perhaps it is this care-giving piece that appeals to girls, but in no other sport do you work so hard outside of the actual activity. One friend analogized it to asking a baseball team to mow the grass and drag and line the infield.” Roskens added, “These are not furry motorcycles. They require care, feeding and management. The process of caring for them creates a bond that leads to greater success in competition.”

Having a horse is an all-year, every day commitment. “It is an exhausting, whole-body workout,” Roskens said.

Working at a horse farm or stable can be great for a kid. “Tired kids are good kids.”Learn more: www.InternationalOmaha.com

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Once, at the last minute, I was asked to fill in as an emcee. I was both thrilled and panicked.

My good friend looked me in the eyes and said, “Whatever you do, don’t try to be funny. Nothing is worse than trying to be funny.”

Sure. I can do that. Not funny.And yet moment after terrifying moment, people laughed. All night long they laughed. The harder I tried not to be funny, the harder they laughed.

I write about my children and children, as we all know, are hysterical. When your 6-year-old son is the last up to bat and he begins to celebrate “Home run! Home run!” as the coach calls in all of the batters, that’s funny.

When your 3-year-old daughter goes around saying, “Well, now that was awkward” when nothing awkward has occurred, that’s funny.

My kids and I laugh with each other, and sometimes we even laugh at each other. But today I’m struggling to share anything remotely amusing.

Today I became a single mom.

Divorce is hard. I have a friend who tells me that God hates divorce. It’s pretty much all she can come up with (and I believe her), but there’s a whole Bible full of God’s mercy and grace. Perhaps more to the point, I’m thinking that God hates the way some people act during a divorce. I’m not a prophet, so it’s just a guess.

And while we’re on the subject. I think God hates “The Lion King.” God doesn’t hate Simba, of course, but I’m starting to resent him.

My 3-year-old, Emma Claire, is obsessed with the book. We have to read it All. The. Time. She is scared of the “coyotes” (hyenas), and she becomes infuriated when I try to explain that it’s Simba and not Mufasa at the end of the story.

I do enjoy singing “Circle of Life” every time it’s mentioned in the book. I sing loud in my best operatic voice, “Cirrrrrrrrrrcle of Life.”

My son pretends to be annoyed, but before long we’re all laughing and singing.

Our home is not “broken,” as they say. Our home is full of laughter, tickling and sloppy wet kisses. Our home is a happy place. And this new journey? It’s simply a part of our “Cirrrrrrrrrrrrcle of Life.”

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HAVE A L AUGH v yourfamily

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A little goes a long way

Sweet decorating touches and smart storage systems keep

Sheila Taylor’s home fresh as spring.

Millard-area mom Sheila Tay-lor keeps things simple in her household. But simple isn’t boring. Family life is lively and fun, with husband, Greg, and sons, Sam, 9, and josh, 7, preparing to welcome their first foster child this spring.

The Taylor home is a bright and happy place. You know you’re in for a visual treat the second you spy the red and white polka dot Husker “N” on the front door. The family’s living spaces convey the same degree of originality and punch.

Neutral furniture pieces give Taylor an open canvas for wall paint and accessories in colors that remind her of a relaxing day at the beach.

Everything seems to have its place with this professional organizer (Taylor works for Amy Tokos at Freshly Organized).

>> An oversized ottoman conceals blankets, games and books. Bas-kets capture remotes, DVDs and small electronics. >> A centrally located bulletin board holds event tickets, party invitations, coupons, sports sched-ules and other easily misplaced items.

>> Chalkboard panels on the kitchen pantry doors carry daily reminders, grocery lists and special little messages for family members.

>> Countertops stay free of clutter.

1-2-3 decorat ing v yourhome

“I take 15 minutes every night to sort and file whatever lands on the kitchen counter,” Taylor says. She uses a portable filing tote for personal and professional projects.

>> The kids’ artwork rarely piles up in drawers. Instead, it gets gallery treat-ment straight from backpacks. (See example above.)

>> Bunk beds for the boys free up precious bedroom floor space for a home-assembled cubby that holds Lego creations and other toy sets with a jillion pieces. Now that’s smart!

A grouping of white shadow boxes with color-ful interiors and family photos with identical mats and frames dresses up the entryway. Taylor bought her boxes from The Company Store several years ago. To get the look, buy white or black boxes and paint the insides to match the decor of your space.


PHOTOS: DANIEL JOHNSON FOR THE WORLD-HERALD

Like adults, kids can be overwhelmed by the amount of stuff they have to keep picked up. The more stuff a kid has, the more he or she has to maintain. And this includes the stuff in bedrooms and backpacks. If you have a hard time minimizing the number of toys in the house, consider rotating them by season. Pack up a bin of toys now, for example, and don’t bring it back up until school is out for the summer.

More tips on next page.

Open baskets and bins let you drop things in and pull things out with ease. Lids only get in the way and end up scattered.

Kids’ study area with twin desks.

Wall opposite the kids’ desks. The sunburst mirror is from Ballard

Designs.

Child’s room. We love the stor-age boxes under the daybed. The boxes are perfect for books and small toys.

chris christen v INspIReD hOMe OMaha eDITOR


GET ORGANIzED v yourlife amy tokos v CONTRIBUTOR

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>> Minimize steps and obstacles. This may sound a bit simplistic, but it is so true. The fewer steps and obstacles a child has in his organization set-up, the more likely he will be able to maintain it. Doors, lids and distance could all be considered obstacles for a child. Open shelving and containers near the point of use is the easiest system for a child to maintain. A wall cube, for example, is ideal for displaying a collection of Lego toys and keeping small pieces off the floor – and out of the vacuum cleaner.

>> Stay focused and stand firm. You’ve probably heard of the “helicopter parent” who

rescues his or her child and solves their problems. Do not be that parent. This is huge when it comes to teaching organizational skills. If your child loses something, reply, “Wow, that’s a bummer. Where do you usually keep it?” Let the child do the thinking, hunting and finding of their beloved item. This will help them realize that they are responsible for their stuff, not you. >> introduce the lost-and-found basket. A lost-and-found basket can help when your child leaves little belongings lying around the house. Place a big basket in the main living area and explain to the kids that

whenever you find something lying around, the item will be placed in the basket. When the basket is full, let the family know that all of the items in the basket will be recycled or donated at a specified time. This gives them time to claim what they want. The rest can go out the door. This can be tough for a parent. When you see a costly item sitting in the basket unclaimed at recycling time, use your judgment. But don’t give the item back to your child. (Re-gifting is OK after he or she has really missed it.) The whole point of the lost-and-found basket is to teach kids to be responsible for their stuff.

TOO MuCH STuFF: pICKING Up wheRe The K IDs LeaVe Off As parents, many times we wish that our kids were just magically organized. unfortunately, we don’t have a magic wand to make this happen. The good news is that organizational skills can be taught.

PHOTO: DANIEL JOHNSONSheila Taylor won the toy storage battle with a shelf unit from nebraska Furniture Mart. her sons, ages 8 and 6, had a blast filling the cubes with their favorite Lego models and other small items.

Introducing your child,the swimmer.

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Annette Beaumont is in her early 30s and has been married for nine years. Her part-time job and 4-year-old son keep her busy. She enjoys knitting and catching up with friends over coffee or a glass of wine.

This is a tough topic. But who is more upset here: you or your daughter? I agree that it would be ideal if everyone in the class was invited (or all of the boys/all of the girls), but parties are expensive and stressful. If your daughter has good friends and does a lot of other fun things with them but she is still not invited to their parties, you could casually talk about it with the parents involved. I would make sure that you’re doing a lot of fun and special things just with your daughter. And if she wants to have a big birthday party, invite as many people as you want. Don’t hold it against others if she wasn’t invited to their parties. just spread the love!

Betsy Obermoller has worked in elementary education for 15 years. She is married with a young daughter, Leah. She loves to read, travel and watch college basketball and football.

Birthday parties are sometimes like popularity contests. If my child didn’t make the cut, I would be sad and mad at the same time. I think I would ask my child if she’d like to have a fun party at the house – for no special reason – and invite a few friends that she feels comfortable with. That way, she could have some fun and make decisions on what to do for the party and whom to invite. I would use this opportunity to remind her how she feels being left out of parties. Tell her to think about how she needs to treat others so she can be treated the same way in return.

Colleen Grove is a mom to four children ranging in age from middle school to college. She has been married for more than 25 years. She works as a realtor, and she has a passion for decorating.

It hurts to think your child has been left out, but it’s going to happen from time to time. If your daughter seems upset about being left off the guest list, then I would plan to keep her busy on the day of the party. That way she doesn’t have time to think about it. Maybe go to a movie or have her invite someone over who also was not invited. The next time you plan a party, have it somewhere that will accommodate however many girls are in her class so you don’t leave anyone out.

LEFT OuT AGAIN: HANDLING BIRTHDAY PART Y SNUBSThe Dilemma: My fourth-grader is rarely invited to birthday parties. Sometimes she mentions it, and other times I hear about them through the grapevine. I know that parents can’t invite everybody in the class to a party, but sometimes I think my daughter feels left out. I can’t help but wonder why she doesn’t make the list. It’s starting to tick me off.

THE DILEMMA v yourfamilylisa andrews v CONTRIBUTOR

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>> Look online first. You can go to area retailers’ sites or just Google some images for general ideas. You’ll quickly figure out what your daughter’s dream designs trend toward, and she may quickly figure out that you are going to ...

>> Decide how much skin she’s allowed to show. Although some girls choose a cocktail-

length dress for prom, most prefer to wear floor-length gowns, said Leslie Ratekin, assistant manager at the David’s Bridal shop near Westroads Mall. Today’s gowns often fit tightly and feature back and side cutouts – things that may seem too sexy to a mom’s wary eyes. At least if you’re at home and the debate gets heated, other customers won’t get an earful about

how “uptight” you are.

>> Mind your budget. Prom dresses usually start at about $120 and run up to $300 at David’s Bridal, Ratekin said. Before leaving the house, make sure that boundaries about cost are set. Maybe if her dream gown costs more than you’re willing to spend, your daughter can agree to pay the difference. Budget-

Prom is one of those quintessential experiences that women tend to remember forever. Whether it was a dreamy night of teen romance or you wound up crying in the bathroom, you probably have a story to tell. Now that it’s your daughter’s turn at this rite of passage, it’s time to plan for the main feature: the dress. Here are a few tips to keep squabbles to a minimum.

PROM’S MAIN FEATuRE:

The dress, of courseTips for minimizing the stress and keeping peace with your fashion-forward teen.

beaut i fu l you v yourlook


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friendly options include checking out resale shops and borrowing from similarly sized friends or relatives. In late winter, local groups usually hold sales featuring previously owned dresses or even free gowns to qualifying girls. If you’ve missed those events, check online classified or auction sites for other options.

>> plan for accessories. When determining your overall budget, think about whether you’re planning to buy shoes, a lightweight wrap, jewelry and hair accessories. Teen girls may not get a lot of future use out of sparkly, strappy heels and rhinestone necklaces. So try to either reuse or borrow pieces – or at least choose pieces that

have a shot at being worn again for future special events.

>> Factor in additional expenses. Talk early on about your daughter’s grooming plans. Are you willing to pay for an updo hairstyle? Can you piggyback that cost into her regular hair styling appointment? Stylists book-up fast during prom season, so be

sure to call early. Likewise, what is your opinion on extras like manicures/pedicures and spray tans? Is there a way to purchase services among friends to save money?

>> Avoid the busiest shopping times. The prime prom shopping time is over the weekend, but you’ll find decidedly fewer customers in

the fitting rooms if you shop during the week, Ratekin said. Walk-ins are always welcome, but making an appointment may mean less of a wait for service.

>> Ask about a dress’s popularity. Some boutiques keep ledgers noting where prom customers attend school and which dresses they purchased.

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NO MORE TEARSBath time just got easier

>> Cut back on washing.As adults, many of us wash our hair every day, but a child’s oil glands aren’t in full swing like an adult’s. unless your kiddo gets his or her hair dirty (from a dunk in spaghetti sauce or finger paints, for example), stick to once or twice a week.

>> Give clear directions. When you tell a child to tilt his or her head back, they don’t understand what that means and they tend to hold their head back at a slight angle. Instead, tell them to point their chin at

the ceiling. Clear, concise and easy is the key.

>> Use washcloths. My daughter always felt a little bit more in control when she held a dry washcloth over her eyes. It gave her a job and something to concentrate on while I did the rinsing. You can also wet a washcloth, add a little shampoo to it and then use it to gently massage your child’s hair. It feels a little less invasive to little ones.

k im carpente r v CONTRIBUTOR

Would you rather . . . wrestle a wild raccoon or wash a young child’s hair? With both you are likely to have panic, tears and all-out screaming on your hands. Bath time can set everyone’s nerves on edge. While these tricks won’t entirely wipe out the drama, they can make washing your child’s hair a little quicker and hopefully, a lot calmer.

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>> Clip on a bathtub spout cover. The underside of a faucet can be sharp and painful if it is hit while squirming and screaming. These ingenious devices clip over the spout, protect tender heads and redirect water streams 10 to 12 inches away from the faucet. Spout covers come in fun colors and shapes (rubber duckies, whales, turtles, etc.), and clip easily onto faucets in seconds. Spout covers can be found at Target and online at stores such as One Step Ahead, Leaps and Bounds and Amazon. About $15.

>> Try a shampoo visor. These little hats allow you to shampoo and rinse while keeping the water out of your child’s eyes. They retail for $7 to $12 and can be found at stores and sites like those listed above.

>> pull out the pans and pitchers. For whatever reason, a heavy stream of water from a faucet and even a handheld showerhead can be scary for kids. Instead, use a pan or pitcher to wet and rinse the hair gently and slowly. It feels better on small heads and is even a bit soothing.

>> Distract, distract, distract. It’s the oldest bath time trick in the book, but it works for a reason. Distract your child with silly voices, a song, a story, a nursery rhyme – whatever works. If a child is busy focusing on something else, having his or her hair washed is likely to go a lot faster.

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LiveWell Nebraska forums (Momaha Mag full-page).indd 1 9/6/2011 4:07:50 PM

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Jules will ride someday. She feels it in her bones.

Visit ChildrensOmaha.org for more information on how we can help your child. For a pediatrician, family physician or pediatric specialist, call 1.800.833.3100.

When Juliana was three, a trip down a slide changed her life. There was pain, then X-rays that revealed

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Now, five years later, Jules anticipates the day she can ride the animals that are her passion. She has no doubt it will come. Her doctors will make it so.

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