Models for understanding people

Know your Client.

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Agenda

Models are an abstraction or simplification of reality.

A few related and useful features are isolated so they can be discussed.

Therefore no model is complete.

A model is useful because it is simpler than reality.

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Models assist us to find effective alternatives.

2 differences between humans and low life:

1An appreciation of humour.2Ability to choose an appropriate response for a

given stimulus.

We are most effective as human beings if:

3We have many alternative responses to choose from

4We have them organized so we can figure out how to respond quickly

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One dimension of people is Starters vs. Finishers.

Startersƒ Differences

–Rough plans–Starts a lot–Finishes little–Gets excited easily

ƒ Agreements–Goals

Finishersƒ Differences

–Detail plans–Starts Little–Finishes what he starts–Gets excited rarely and only when he can see the end

ƒ Agreements–GoalsOften complement each other when they work

on the same team!

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One dimension of people is Introverts vs. Extroverts.

Introvertsƒ Loose energy in

front of peopleƒ Need time alone

to recharge - to analyze the situation alone and figure out what to say

Extrovertsƒ Gain energy in

front of peopleƒ Loose energy

when left alone too much - likes to think in front of others

Often complement each other when they work on the same team!

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Mouton and Wook Managerial Effectiveness

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 Concern for the Relation

Concern for the Result1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

(1,9)

(9,1)

(9,9)

Watch for the backup style and the shift.

(1,1)

(5,5)

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Our style determines how we act.

Tells

Asks

Controls

Emotes

DriverLess responsiveMore assertive

AmiableMore responsiveLess assertive

ExpressiveMore responsiveMore assertive

AnalyticLess responsiveLess assertive

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Corners have trouble with each other.

Tells

Asks

Controls

Emotes

DriverLess responsiveMore assertive

AmiableMore responsiveLess assertive

ExpressiveMore responsiveMore assertive

AnalyticLess responsiveLess assertive

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Styles on the same side can work together easily.

Tells

Asks

Controls

Emotes

DriverLess responsiveMore assertive

AmiableMore responsiveLess assertive

ExpressiveMore responsiveMore assertive

AnalyticLess responsiveLess assertive

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Each style is comfortable with different communication

Tells

Asks

Controls

Emotes

DriverModels, facts, focusSpecific decisionsGives ordersTakes riskConfident

AmiableFeelingsYour feelingsColoursNeeds to share feelingsDependent, unsure, slow

Avoids risk

ExpressiveMapsModelsGraphsPicturesGeneral directionsTells stories

AnalyticFactsListsHard workingPuts off decisionsDeliberate

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Each style is reacts differently to stress.

Tells

Asks

Controls

Emotes

DriverFightGo it alone if neededLead a group

AmiableRetreatFind a group for support

ExpressiveFightTell the gang

AnalyticRetreatAlone

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Clients who are in the "Cost cutting" or "Slash and burn"

mentality are not likely to buy.

Rate of Growth

Willingness to Change

New ProcessesNo New Processes

Shrinking

Growth Has Money to

SpendIn a HurryWill Re-engineer

Cut costCost cutting not

permanentWon't buySlash and burn

Re-engineerReduce Work

Buys more of the same

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It helps if he likes us and is open to change.

Openness to change

Degree of preference for us

Likes usDislikes us

Closed

Open Focus on objectivesWill implementLikes team solutionSkills and mentoringDoesn't mind biasProfessionalism

Price sensitiveArrogantExpert skillsExpects humilityProfessionalism

Wants to tell PriceSolution

Specific skills & leadership

Professionalism

ListensSkillsSkill transferPrice sensitive

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The "Four Buyer Model" assists us to identify buyers and their different

information needs

EconomicSays yesSets targetsNeeds results (ROI, pay

back)

TechnicalCan say noNeeds technical dataSelects short list

CoachTells howWants us to winLikes influence

UserPerson whose life is most

changed by the implementation of the recommendation

Says what is needed to achieve targets

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Win - Result analysis of prospects and clients will improve our

marketing and selling productivity

Openness to change

Degree of preference for us

Likes usDislikes us

Closed

Open

Win - WinObjectivesWill implementTeam solution

Win - LosePrice sensitiveArrogant

Wants to tell PriceSolution

ResultsListens

Each buyer perceives winning differently

EconomicROI, ProfitCustomer satisfactionFlexibilityPositioned for growthSeen as a leader

CoachRecognitionMakes a differenceVisibilityGets strokesSeen as a problem solver

TechnicalBest technical solution

Price and termsReliabilityTimely ServiceFocuses on alternatives

User Super serviceFaster, better, easierMeet customer expectation

Easy to learn and use

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The culture of a company passes through 4 Phases

Phase 1Customer orientedEntrepreneurialAsk, listen, help

Phase 4Administrative oriented,

rulesKeep lots of recordsSet targets and punish

Phase 3Process orientedAutomate

Phase 2Product orientedTell Start

over

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Cybernetics says we work with visual, auditory and feeling models.

VisualI see....It looks like....Hands up for the vision

AuditoryI hear....It sounds to me....Touch mouth or ear

Feeling (Kinesetic)I feel ....It feels like....Hands near belt, some times hunched

Resonate with your client!

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The rapport model builds on the cybernetics model.

Rapport is getting in sync. or giving sympathetic feed back:

Cybernetic - use same communication mode–Visual–Auditory–Kinesetic

Same rhythmMirroring - use same body languageUse compatible style for communication:

–Facts for the analytics–Maps and general directions for the expressives–Specific recommendations for the drivers–Reduce risk and get everybody to like it for the amiables

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Nobles tell the truth.Socratics explain.

Reflectives worry about the relationship.

Noble

Socratic

Reflective

Senator

Magistrate

Candidate

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Noble"But its the Truth"

Socratic

Wants to teach. Wants to learn so they can teach.

Reflective

Give you what you want to hear. Thinks this is good for the relationship. Doesn't want projects (relationships) to end.

SenatorFlips between Noble and Reflective. Scares people because they don't know which to expect.

Magistrate

Wants a platform to expound on "The Truth"

Candidate

Running for office.

Understanding your client makes you more effective.

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Maximize what you know by sharing.

I know.You know.

I know.You don't know

I don't know.You don't know.

I don't know.You know.

IKnow Don't Know

You Don't Know Know

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We are most effective when we know a lot.

ArenaArena

FacadeFacade UnknownUnknown

Blind SpotBlind Spot

IKnow Don't Know

You Don't Know Know

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We are most effective where we both know stuff.

FacadeFacade UnknownUnknown

Blind SpotBlind Spot

IKnow Don't Know

You Don't Know Know

ArenaArena

EffectiveEffective

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Sharing can increase what you know and make us both more

effective.

Arena

Facade Unknown

Blind Spot

IKnow Don't Know

You Don't Know Know

SharingSharing

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Listening can increase what I know and make us both more effective.

Arena

Facade Unknown

Blind Spot

IKnow Don't Know

You Don't Know Know

ListenListen

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We are more effective when we share and listen. We decrease danger and discover opportunities

when we share and listen.

FacadeFacade UnknownUnknown

Blind SpotBlind Spot

IKnow Don't Know

You Don't Know Know

ArenaArena

DangerDangerOpportunityOpportunity

EffectiveEffective

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Excellence achieves commitment through respect for each persons opinion and

ability to contribute to the goal.

Survival

Harmony

Control

Status Quo

Excellence

In Excellence the objective is paramount!

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In Excellence cultures the first question is "What is the objective?"

SurvivalHide. Don't be noticed.

HarmonyLets be nice to each other.

ControlWhat does the boss say?

Status QuoWe don't do it that way.

Excellence

What is the objective?

In Excellence the objective is paramount!

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SEE VISIONS:

ƒ they picture what we ultimately choose to achieve.Have MISSIONS:

ƒ they tell us what business we are in. PURSUE GOALS:

ƒ they tell us what results we choose to achieve.ACCOMPLISHES OBJECTIVES:

ƒ they tell us how (actions and results) we plan to get where we choose to go.

Vision, Mission, Goal

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There are several kinds of power.

ƒ Objectiveƒ Charismaƒ Resistanceƒ Persuasionƒ Concentrationƒ Purismƒ Prestigeƒ Ambitionƒ Positionƒ Knowledgeƒ Reputationƒ Respect

ƒ Coercionƒ Fearƒ Loveƒ Lustƒ Debtƒ Compassionƒ Guiltƒ Envyƒ Moneyƒ Skillƒ Caring, doing,

actionƒ Faith - freedom to

act

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Legitimate PowerYou can do anything worth doing with these 5 powers.

ƒ The objective

ƒ Knowledge

ƒ Respect

ƒ Caring (Doing, acting)

ƒ Faith (Empowerment, Freedom)

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Understanding the three personality state model can help us treat ourselves and our

clients more effectively.

Parent

Child

Adult

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As we grow so does our ability to shape our growth.

Cellular birth - Conception

Physical birth - StrokingPsychological birth - Stroking

Social birth - School

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Conflicts in our mind can lead to poor action or no action.

Parent

Child

Adult

Taught

Felt

Thought Reality

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Reality and thought are necessary for personal

growth.

Parent

Child

Adult

Taught

Felt

Thought Reality

Archaic

Archaic

New data / testing

Decisions / EstimatingThinking

Updated data

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Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

The goal of transactional analysis is freedom of choice.

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Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Complimentary transactions can go on forever but may not be

productive.

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

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Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Crossed transactions stop or start wars.

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

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Parent

Child

Adult

Judgment is impaired if adult is not in control.

Parent contamination Prejudice

Child Contamination Delusion

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A decommissioned personality is a form of illness.

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

Parent

Child

Adult

No childNo fun

No parentNo conscience

No adultNo judgment

Psychotic

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Games people play

Why don't you -------? Yes but --------A - A ---> C - P

Small talk ( P-P, A-A, C-C)GM, Who one, Grocery, Kitchen, Wardrobe,Ever bee too, How much, What became of,Morning after, I know a better,

Gee ain't it awful (P-P)Impossible alternativesTwo level game (P-P or A-A covering C-C)

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Success is Success is continual progress continual progress toward predetermined toward predetermined personal goals.personal goals.

Success is no accident.