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Miss Lola Says™...

20 Best Etiquette Practices for Parents,Teachers

Miss Lola is a big fan of continuous correction orbetter, correcting a child on their bad manners and

social habits as early as possible. If a child isconstantly reminded to fx something they are doingwrong, ultimately it will be a practice. Poise is es-tablished with practice. Let’s face it, we need poised,confdent children who will ultimately become poi-sed, condent adults.

Here are twenty (20) best practices to guide chil-dren along:

1. Be the example. Let children see you beha-ving civilly and well-mannered.

2. Role-play with them. If you’re going to tellthem what to do, then act it out with them.

3. Treat them and their friends well. Bethe adult who is respectful yet rm. Thankthem when appropriate and with enthu-siasm. Apologize to them when you make amistake. It will not kill you and it will makethem feel comfortable about doing thesame. (It takes a special adult to show humi-lity in the presence of a child.)

4. Expose them to the social customs of 

other cultures. Let them know that goodmanners are bigger than your home orclassroom. Kiss, Bow or Shake Hands is anexcellent resource.

5. Use popular culture to discuss etiquetteand other social issues. Watch a moviewith your child or your class and note thethings you view that illustrate good or badmanners. Do the same with music or evenstory books.

6. Enjoy small talk with them. Teach themthe fundamentals of being a good or decentconversationalist. It builds their condenceand gives them poise. Engage them withquestions about their topics and challenge

them to learn more.7. Speak to them and not at them. Showchildren how to respectfully articulate whatthey want without being condescending.

8. Show them how to write a thank-younote. Buy a package of dollar store notecards to keep on hand and sit down withyour child to teach them how to thanksomeone in writing. If someone does so-mething special for your class, have thestudents write a thank-you note.

9. Create a polite day. One of my favoritegrade school teachers in the world, Mrs.Fields, had a day when she made my classbow, curtsy, shake hands with one anotherand adults, say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Shetaught us how to be courteous. That one dayhad a big impact on us later.

10. Make them speak respectfully toadults at all times . One of the worst thingsI’ve witnessed is a generation or two of young people who speak to adults like theyare peers. We’ve given a lot of passes with

May 21, 2011

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Miss Lola

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Miss Lola Says™...

20 Best Etiquette Practices for Parents, Teachers

this one to the point we have a core group of young adults with no respect for authoritywhatsoever. And they feel justied. Enoughsaid.

11. Show them how to dress appropriatelyfor various events. Guide them through acatalog – online or paper – or a magazine toshow them when they should wear certainclothing styles and when they should not.

Teach them that their appropriate attirehelps them t in and makes others comfor-table. It also makes them comfortable withthemselves. Give them a guideline for aspecial event and see how they choose.

12. Use social moments as teaching mo-ments. When you next receive a weddinginvitation, show your child how respond.Teach them what RSVP means and theimportance of doing so. That’s one example,but there are many more.

13. Show them how to be treated well.Prompt your children to extend courtesiesin your household. If you extend courtesiesto them, then it will make it easier for themto discern ill-treatment. Make it so hard forsomeone else to mistreat your child withoutyour child knowing the difference.

14. Have them ask an elderly neighbor orrelative if they need help. Nothing is moreimpressive or kind than the young personwho has been taught to assist someone whois struggling as in an elder or maybe a singlewoman.

15. Have them perform a courtesy for anelder or woman without drawing atten-tion to themselves. We all have that onerelative or neighbor who lugs their owntrash to the curb. Send your child to do itand maybe you should join them. There isnothing classier than giving without regretand giving quietly.

16. Make them uncomfortable withshowing up late, interrupting conversa-

tions and disrupting an environment.Show them the consequences of bad man-ners. I’d arranged a dining etiquette works-hop for some teens who not only showedup late but disrupted the chef/teacher’sclassroom for a good 30 minutes before thelesson could go on. When their time was up,the chef and I stopped, which made the stu-dents upset. They wanted more. We could

have given them more, but they neededto know how to value other people, otherpeople’s time and resources.

17. Illustrate how to use good manners without coming across as pompous,superior and stuffy. One of the most politeyoung men I’ve ever met wore his pantsslung low on his behind and had braids.His poise and gentility were surprises butso appreciated. As it turned out, his friendscounted on him to be an example.

18. Quiz them. Regularly. Test what theyknow about good manners and etiquette byquizzing them and going over the answerswhen they are nished.

19. Correct them as kindly yet frmlyas possible. A parent knows when to saysomething with power to their child. Thereare those occasions. However, correctingthem with kindness gives them the opportu-nity to take accountability.

20. Stop making excuses. Yes, we live in asociety of people who are faced with a lotof adversities, but if we continually makeexcuses they will not be able to adequatelyovercome. To adequately overcome meansthat you can stand on equal footing witheveryone else. No more passes for bad beha-vior, please.

Good manners are free. None of these exercisesare time-consuming. They are, however, caring andnecessary lessons. Best, Miss Lola

May 21, 2011

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