Problems in Unit 2 papers that

should be corrected in Unit

3 papersTake notes! Extra point deductions in Unit 3 for not correcting these easy-to-fix-once-you-

understand-them errors.

By: Professor Boaz

Missing In-text citations

These vehicles are affixed with missiles and are used to strike targets by the US in Pakistan, Yemen and Afhganistan, among others. There is a fierce debate over this use and it’s affects on civilian populations, with a recent study finding that only 12% of those killed by drone strikes are actual militants.

Missing in-text citations

Tumblr is a perfect tool for analysis of viewpoints across society because of its diversity. Its user base is clustered at the high and low ends of the income spectrum with 8% of households with incomes over $75,000 reporting using Tumblr, and 6% of households under $30,000 incomes reporting using the service.

Incorrect in-text citations (this isn’t

the same as “missing” citations) Incorrect citation: Mario Balotellis had said

during the tournament ‘he would walk off the pitch if he was racially abused.’ (www.dailymail.co.uk, Balotelli fury at King Kong cartoon slur in Italian Newspapers)

Correct citation: Mario Balotellis (2012) said during the tournament that he would “walk off the pitch” if he was “racially abused” (p.1).

Author and year for citation on previous

slide

The dreaded “This” at sentence beginnings

There is also 82 games every season and this doesn’t include the playoffs which can be up to an additional 28 games maximum. This means for some NBA players, they could be playing up to 275 hours a season of games and this doesn’t include the hours of practice they must to too. This is more than most sports not only in America but the entire world. Therefore, these players are expected to push their physical abilities to a level above most people. This then brings up the debate of whether these players are being pushed too much to the point where their bodies won’t be able to support it any longer.

Nice finding, but more discussion of

it is needed One of the most intriguing findings was that only

11% of the pictures had any depiction of humans. The global warming movement is more or less known for the concept that humans have immensely impacted the form in which the earth’s system functions (Sulzman 2000). Thus it is surprising that the root cause of the problem is not expressed within the image on Pinterest, advocating global warming The few pictures that did obtain humans, portrayed humans as unknowledgeable people without a sense of comprehension or grasp on what the issue is.

Again, nice finding – but say more!

According to all of the data collected, the most likely image of Hitler that could be found on Tumblr is one of him wearing clothes other than a uniform, where he is smiling and having a positive interaction with an adult male, with no weapons or Swastikas in the image. With that being said, it makes sense that he is most often depicted as a regular citizen in a positive way.

Avoid starting paragraphs with

quotes, give context for quotes, &

avoid quotes that say something

we already know The article “Women in the Media: Female TV and Film Characters Still Sidelined and Sexualized” by Nina Bahudur states the “Women across the board were more likely to be shown wearing sexy attire or exposing some skin…” which is a strong point she makes throughout the entire article. Due to this generation’s hypersexuality, anything revolving around a woman is sexualized. I can’t disagree that being a woman, I have very limited options when it comes to appearances. In the graph below, from the ages of 13 – 65, it is noticeable that the rate of some form of nudity is raised.

For 47/50 of the posts on the fitness board, they had a title; furthermore, the title was used to draw in the audience of Pinterest to investigate further by visiting the actual website of the one who originally posted. The message of the post’s title mainly got across through encouragement, with 23/50 posts displaying this, then 15/50 were instructions, 10/50 were nutritional facts, sexual innuendos and guilt both came in with 9/50, no title at all had 3/50, and 1/50 of the titles displayed statistics.

GREAT EVIDENCE, BUT CRAMMED INTO TWO SENTENCES WITH NO BREAKS FOR DISCUSSING AND ANALYZING THIS EVIDENCE

Dor0thea Lange depicts the US as economically frail and its citizens as victims of extreme poverty. I coded for clothing as a symbol for low standard of living. The coding question was “How does clothing appear?” Answers such as unwashed rags, rips, holes and deep stains, poverty stricken. Or fashionable at the time, or fancy well earned clothing or dresssed for agriculture or no person. Here the majority of the coding conformed to the first answer response leading me to understand the true poverty of this epoch. The men and women and children in this collection all depict poverty in one way or another, whether it be from the clothing, their surroundings or their hygiene.

NO SPECIFIC EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT ASSERTIONS

New point brought up at the

of a paragraph, when it merits

a paragraph of its own

Advice on how to get ready for the future is less important, however. They emphasize saving money (35 times) more than they do ways to make money (15 times). They make it seem easy also to do these things, which is a little bit unrealistic. Seventeen magazine misleads young girls by providing extreme horror stories – “I was kidnapped on the way to school” and selective tricks and tips.