EDCI: 597Middle Grades Philosophy, Organization and Climate

Online Fall 2009 Book Review Assignment

Jean Nagy

TEENAGERS…So sweet and innocent one second and then a ball of fury the next – can we ever really know them?Why do they do the things they do?Is it just ‘hormones’?Am I going to survive the teen years?

You’re not alone - there is help for Parents and Teachers who can live to tell the tale:

Copyright: 2005 Free Press; A Division of Simon & Schuster 1230 Avenue on the Americas New York, NY 10020

ISBN-13: 978-0-7432-6077-0

Who would benefit from reading this book and why?Parents – because you are not alone and this

book explains how you can make it through the adolescent years (not perfectly) but successfully

Teachers – this book can offer you a way of understanding what is going on with the teenager, why they act and do some of the things they do

Teens – because not all of them truly understand the changes that are going on with their body – not just physically but mentally, too

What can this book offer me?

Insight on Why Adolescents are ImpulsiveHow to Communicate with AdolescentsThe Adolescent Brain – How it is Still

DevelopingWhy Teens are so TiredWhen Things go Wrong in the BrainThe Social Dimensions of AdolescenceThe Importance of Connection and Guidance

Why did I like this book?The author writes in a way that is easily understood

After each chapter, the author gives highlights of the “Do’s and Don’ts” of how to handle certain situations

Offers questions in a “parent survival kit” chart – Do I understand and am I able to answer these questions

It made me understand the importance of giving limits and consequences to the teenager and following through with them

It explained that for teens to establish a new, adult relationship with their parents, they do require some freedom to explore new boundaries and approaches

What I learned from this book:The adolescent brain is still developing – when they do

something on impulse, they cannot always control themselves – the brain has just not yet developed fullyFor boys this impulse behavior can be aggressive and angryFor girls it can show up as amplification of a wide range of

emotion

How to communicate with a teenager:Avoid generalizations (always, never, etc.)Begin with “I” statements rather than “you”To eliminate confusion, be as specific as possibleStick to one topic at a timeListening is more important than talking (shows respect)

Information on the brain:The Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) is the part of the brain just behind the

forehead. It is responsible for planning ahead, considering consequences, and managing emotional impulses

The hypothalamus is the master control center for the body’s hormone system, “raging hormones”

The brain is a muscle and as with any muscle, it needs to be exercised in order to develop, the “use-it-or-lose-it” strategy

The brain has growth spurts, it develops in fits and starts, not in an even, uniform way

The adolescent circadian rhythm (sleep/wake cycle)The sleep cycle changes during puberty and can cause them to

stay up late and want to sleep late into the afternoonTeenagers need approximately 9 ½ hours of sleep per night but

are typically getting 6-7 hours, leaving them exhaustedSleep deprivation can impair functioning memory, increase stress

hormone, and cause moodiness

Adolescent mental illness is VERY real, which can include, but is not limited to, ADD/ADHD, Depression, Eating Disorders, and Obsessive Compulsive DisorderWatch for the signs or patterns such as trouble paying

attention, fidgets or squirms, changes in appetite, feeling hopeless, running water while in the bathroom, preoccupied with losing weight, obsessively habitual actions

Teenagers place a tremendous amount of importance on fitting in with their peersPeer pressure exerts a lot of force on a teen, parents need to

make sure they do not become victims of peer pressure themselves

Do not make derogatory remarks about how a teenager looksTeenagers will become embarrassed by parents and other

adultsWhatever you do, don’t sweat the small stuff – pick your battles

Staying connected with your teen while still maintaining the authority to guide them to responsible, healthy choices is a very delicate balancing act As parents we need to strategize ways to stay connected, because

even though our adolescents don’t think they need us anymore, they do

Maintaining family rituals and vacations can be a great way to stay connected (even if the teens are trying to drive you crazy)

It is important for adolescents to have other adults they can trust and talk to such as teachers, a coach, or aunts and uncles

Guide them by setting clear expectations Most of all, love them unconditionally

The real test in parenting is being able to love your child while expecting little in return

Adolescence is not a problem to be solved but an experience to be lived – in the end, it has to be done together with connection, guidance and love