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Contents For Life Story

Life Story Tool

Life Story Response Tool

Life Story ToolIntroduction“Life Story” is a tool that will help your group members get to know one another at a level that would under normal circumstances take far longer. Being willing to share your story—the good and the bad alike—is very important to the growth, transformation, and redemption that you’ll experience as a result of your Life Group or Identity Group study. Simply put, redemption requires transparency, and transparency means intentionally seeking to know others and be known by them. The “Life Story” tool facilitates this.

Directions

1) Preparation:a. Prayerfully & carefully read through these instructions and then the “Life Story

Instructions & Template” as a way to prepare your heart and mind for this exercise. Read over the directions in each row to become familiar with which Life Story elements you should include when you write out your story on the “My Life Story” page. Complete a review of these pages now before continuing on to the “Writing Your Story” instructions.

2) Writing Your Story:a. Using the “My Life Story Worksheet” page, write out a 15-‐minute version of your Life

Story to share with your group members.b. To stay within the 15-‐minute guideline you’ll need to write your story in bullet point

format, focusing only on the major influences, experiences, and events of your story. You’ll have time to share many more details later, over the course of future group meetings. Rule of thumb: everything you’re going to share should fit, in shorthand, on you’re my Life Story Worksheet, if it doesn’t then you’re probably sharing too much detail and won’t finish telling your story within the 15 minute guideline. We like to say “major on the majors and save the rest for later” and you’ll do fine.

c. Using the “Life Story Instructions & Template” page, think back through the seasons of your life while at the same time specifically focusing on your Heritage, your Heroes, the High Points and Hard Times in your life, and the Hand of God moments you’ve experienced.

d. Next, move to the “My Life Story Worksheet” page, and begin to put bullet-‐point descriptions of the key events and experiences that belong in each box. Note that you might not need to fill in every box in every column. For example, for Heritage you will likely have far more to say in the “Season of Life #1” column than you will in the columns that represent the more recent years of your life.

e. Sharing deeply enough is an important part of this exercise, but we also don’t want to share so many details that we find ourselves tempted to relive past sins or cause others to stumble themselves after hearing too many details of another group member. Finding the right balance can be a challenge, so here’s a few guidelines to help you along:

i. There shouldn’t be much about you that would surprise someone who has heard your Life Story. For this to be true, it means your Life Story needs to include ALL major life events, ALL ongoing sin struggles, ALL major areas of past sin, etc. This also means you should refrain from using code words that minimize and ‘white wash’ areas of sin in your life. This means don’t say things like “there’s things I’m ashamed of in my past”. Rather, call sin what it is, and name your sins as appropriate. This sounds really scary, but we promise you’ll receive grace and acceptance when you share your life honestly with your fellow group members. We’re all in need of forgiveness and grace; we’re all works in progress; we’re all redeemed yet still being redeemed, and the way to healing, growth, and freedom in Christ comes through transparent sharing of your life with other followers of Jesus.

ii. It will also be helpful for you to think in terms of “categories of sin” vs. details of each instance of sin. For example, if you are addicted to porn, alcohol, drugs, cutting, etc., you would share that truth categorically in your story, and talk about the impacts that your addiction has had on your life (loss of job, family, marriage, etc.), but you would not include in your story each and every time you walked into the bar to get drunk, or the circumstances of each time you clicked your mouse with the intention of indulging your sin of lust.

f. “At My Worst I Still…”i. The final column of the My Life Story Worksheet page is called “At My Worst I

Still…” and its meant to be the place where we get real about where we are today, at this very moment, with respect to our own relationship with God and where we’re still falling short—where we’re still in need of redemption.

ii. We end our stories this way intentionally as an active way of acknowledging that we’re all ‘works in progress’, and as a way of avoiding the temptation to end on a high note with respect to our individual life stories. We’re not trying to be negative, but we are trying to be realistic with our stories, and realistic about where we are with God right now. This section of our stories allows us to acknowledge our current sin before God and His people and to experience the joy that comes with getting real and experiencing authentic biblical community. Simply put, ending our stories this way helps us to know others and be known—two ideals that are critically important to us experiencing the growth that God wants to accomplish in each one of us.

A Note on Listening to the Life Story of Other Group Members

o When listening to the stories of your group members your primary role is: (1) to better understand and know those in your group, and (2) to encourage and thank them for sharing the difficult truths of their lives honestly with the group.

o While loving accountability and encouragement toward Christlikeness are critical success factors for growing as Jesus’ disciples, the time following someone’s story is not the time for this. The time for accountability comes later as part of the regular rhythm of weekly group meetings. Again, the correct response to a group member’s sharing of their Life Story is primarily simply encouragement, and thankfulness to God for His work in the lives of those sharing their story of grace.

Life Story Instructions & TemplateDirections: See instructions in italics in the Season of

Life #1Season of

Life #2Season of

Life #3At My

Worst I Still…

sections below, and then use the blank templateon the following page to complete your Life Story.

Your ‘Season of Life’ Descriptors For Example:Childhood

For Example:Adolescence

For Example:Adulthood

Redeemed & Still Being Redeemed…

Heritage:• Share basic information about your family: siblings,

how/where you grew up, and related circumstances.• Share the nature of your family relationships (i.e. good,

bad, etc.), and how your family relationships have influenced/shaped your life.

• Share how ethnic or geographical (local, regional, national) influences have shaped who you are.

Your Heritage related information for this season of life go in this box



Confession of your ongoing areas of struggle, sin, and dis- ‐obedience to God go in this box

Heroes: Who were/are the heroes in your life? And, perhaps more

importantly, why? (Tip: Heroes can end up being good or bad influences on your life in retrospect. For Example: my father, my dealer, my spouse, my son, my 1st grade teacher, God, a particular Bible study leader that discipled you, etc.)

Your Heroes related information for this season of life go in this box



High Points:• What experiences in your life have been especially

enjoyable, significant, or meaningful to you, and why?

Your High Point related information for this



season of life season of life season of lifego in this box go in this box go in this box

Hard Times: What experiences in your life have been especially difficult

or painful? What are your deepest wounds? Who wounded, abused, or hurt you? How did you deal with

it? Share at a high level about circumstances of addiction,

Your Hard Times related information for this season of life go in this box



abuse (victim or offender), persistent sins & persistenttemptations to sin, and other modern-‐day ‘idols’.

When do you get the most sad, or hopeless? What lies doyou believe about yourself, God, & others?

Share about any mental or physical hardships that haveshaped your life. Share about significant family ormarriage crises that have impacted your life. Share aboutsignificant situations of illness (self or others) or death thathave impacted your life.

Hand of God: Make sure to include the details about when gave your life

to Jesus (i.e. exchanged your life; ‘trusted Christ’, etc.), when you were baptized or confirmed, and any other significant spiritual events in your life

Upon reflection what are the significant times, events,

Your Hand of God related information for this season of life go in this box



struggles, etc., where have you seen God's sovereign handat work in your life?

Looking back, what circumstances as God used throughoutyour life to protect, guide, and draw you to Himself in anongoing way.

Life Story Flow Map – Telling Your Story like a Story: For your Life Story to make the most sense you’ll want to share it in a way that makes sense…like a real story. Therefore, you want the order of events to be, well, in order—i.e. “In the first season of my life this happened, then this happened, then the next thing happened, then finally the other thing happened.” Then you’d tell the story of the next season of life the same way, etc. Use these ideas, and the illustration below to help you think about how you’ll tell your in a linear way, step by step, so that your listeners will be able to know you better, and so you’ll get better at sharing your story and how God’s been at work in it!

Life Story Worksheet Directions: Use the instruction pages above for help, and then complete the worksheet below with the details of your own Life Story.

My Life Story WorksheetSeason of Life #1 Season of Life #2 Season of Life #3 At My Worst

I Still…‘Season of Life’ Redeemed &

Still Being Redeemed…

DescriptionsHeritage:

Heroes:

High Points:

Hard Times:

Hand of God:

My Life Story WorksheetSeason of Life #1 Season of Life #2 Season of Life #3 At My Worst

I Still…‘Season of Life’ Descriptions

Redeemed & Still Being Redeemed…

Heritage:

Heroes:

High Points:

Hard Times:

Hand of God:

Life Story Facilitation / Response Guidelines / Leader Notes Template

(01-13-14 version)

1. Leaders Share First and Most Deeply. The leaders, apprentice leaders, and Helpers should share first, and should share most deeply. By going first, leaders model: timeliness, approach, and structure. By sharing deeply leaders model a safe place to be vulnerable, transparent, and real.

2. Don’t leave any section out. Leaders should include all the Life Story Tool 5H elements in their story, including: Heritage, Heroes, High Points, Hard Times, and Hand of God. Your story must also include clear Gospel movements as well: Life before Jesus, detailed story of exchanged life (sin/ repentance/new life in Christ through the Holy Spirit), life & progress since trusting Christ, and “at my worst I’m still” elements. Use the detailed instructions on the Life Story Tool itself for additional help and guidance.

3. Life Story Response Guidelines:a. Encouragement, thanksgiving for sharing/transparency/vulnerability, and critical clarifying questions are

the primary responses for you to model. Group leaders should not only model these elements for the group participants but should also give these directions to participants directly. A particular concern during the response time is to make sure that other participants don’t hijack a person’s story by making it about themselves (e.g. “oh, I have that problem too,” or they begin to offer solutions to the person’s sin struggles, etc.). This is not the time for that, and the way you model and instruct your group’s participants in this regard will make a big difference in the overall experience and helpfulness of Life Story.

b. As leaders, your practice of active listening will also be important, particularly with re-statement of key struggles using identity/redemption language (from the Redemption book, IRH trainings, training articles, etc.). We’ll model this during the leader training.

c. Remember, most questions should be saved until later, especially questions from other group participants. However, if there are 1-2 key questions that would help clarify a participant’s story for everyone, then those should be asked as part of your response to each story.

d. Direct exhortation/accountability should be avoided during the times of Life Story sharing. This time is for bonding of the group and the establishment of a safe place for confession, transparency, and confidentiality. The time for accountability and exhortation comes later throughout the 11 week study, but even then confrontative questions (i.e. nouthetic approaches) will be the preferred approach to accountability whenever possible.

4. Always take notes when others share. Leaders should take notes on every story shared in their group, noting all major movements and critical elements of each story. This will pay big dividends later when you’re trying to manage 8-12 stories in your head, measure each participant’s progress, pray intentionally for each participant, create “exit strategies” in the Out of the Wilderness Plan for each participant, etc. a. Key Categories: Key things to note from participant stories, include but aren’t limited to:

i. Use of the ‘5 Hs’, and key facts from each category . Learning which facts to note is part art and part science. Think in terms of whether or not leaving out a particular fact would make the story difficult to piece together later. Over time, you’ll develop your own strategy and shorthand for writing down only the most important facts. Use of the attached template can be helpful as well.

ii. Key sin struggles mentioned . Any area of struggle mentioned during the “Hard Times” sharing or otherwise should be noted. These will likely be some of the most important elements of their story with respect to future growth and freedom in Christ.

iii. Sin/struggles/past experiences alluded to or mentioned in passing . Sometimes people will mention hard times from their past, important elements of family history, or areas of sin in their lives that they won’t give the proper attention in their stories. These are elements of their story that they don’t see as sin, past experiences that they don’t see as significant, or sin that they are actively or passively

trying to minimize because they are ashamed, insecure, or scared to share them honestly. Again, this is part art, part science. You’ll pick it up over time, and you’ll learn some of the key words people use, and key turns of phrase people use, to minimize certain elements of their stories—whether intentionally or not.

iv. “Flags” to always note, and get clarity on : 1. Assumptive language or jargon needing clarification2. Language that ‘covers’ other details or implies deeper sharing is necessary. Examples would be

statements like:a. “I’ve been living with these demons for quite some time now.” This requires us to ask what

“demons” means?b. “I had a tough childhood.” What does that mean?

3. Always note critical childhood elements that may be root causes of current struggles, for example: divorced parents, absent parents, experiences physical/sexual/emotional abuse, experiences of addiction, etc.

Life Story Notes for __________________________________ Date _________________________Leader Instructions: Note 5H story elements from appropriate season of life below; circle key story elements, areas of sin, areas that need clarity & follow up, areas of sin/story minimized, etc.

Season of Life #1 Season of Life #2 Season of Life #3

At my worst I still…

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