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1 Letter From the Editor

Dear MGS,

You know what I like? Crunchy-looking leaves. I’ll go out of my way for them, way

out of my way. I’ve stopped my car for them, even, and I’m not sorry. I mean yes

maybe I’m a little embarased at times, but I’m never sorry. They’re just so fun!

And tantalizing, all sedentary and crunchy-looking, with the audactity to not

have yet been crunched. So good! I’ll admit that here, in front of you guys, the

Gaming Society, because I’m not afraid of being judged. In school or at home or

in fromt of my cat I would be afraid of being called childish, or obstinate, or

something (I don’t pretend to know the depths of my cats vocabulary). Here,

though, I’m free. Here, there are no judgments. There are no critisims in these

pages. There are obscure references, odd romances, cuss words, and a healthy dose

of puns, but there are no critisims. Those things have their uses, don’t get me

wrong, but they’re easy to come by. They’re everywhere, and I think we should, at

least here, be a little more picky. This is your magazine, after all. It’s yours,

and make no mistake that here, you are free. We are not a club, but a society,

and we answer to no one. So go ahead, get weird. Not freaky weird or lack-of-

hygine weird, but the excellent kind of weird. Be the best you that you can be,

and while you do it, don’t fear judgment, not here anyway. Be the crunchy-looking

leaf. Or step on the leaf. Or tell your cat about the leaf, so that she can step

on it? It’s not a purrfect metaphor. But that was a pun. It’s your magazine, your

forum, so write what you see fit.

As ever,

Graceanne V Warburton

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Glados vs Cortana

By Austin Heerema

Two Player Mode.

GLados and Turrets vs. Cortana and Spartans.

Master Chief scanned the surrounding area for life. Nothing but wheat fields as far as the eye could see.

If there had ever been a lab here, it was long gone. The only sign of life was a single tin-roofed shed about a

third of a mile away.

“Are you sure this is the right spot?” he asked incredulously.

“Affirmative,” replied Cortana, flickering into existence in front of him. “All the history files point to

this being the location of the old Aperture Lab.”

“And this… portal gun?”

“Unconfirmed,” said Cortana, “Though we know that both Black Mesa and Aperture were working on a

prototype. Black Mesa, of course, shut their program down. There is no record, however, of Aperture ever

doing so.”

She looked around, apparently noticing the sparse surroundings for the first time. “Hmm. Perhaps the

shed would be a good place to start.” Her holographic image vanished.

“This gun had better be worth it,” sighed Master Chief, gesturing to the three Spartans who had come

with him on this mission. They made their way quickly and carefully to the old shed. The shed was ancient.

Master Chief decided that if they were lucky enough to find anything, it certainly wouldn’t be an advanced

weapon. Maybe a mop, but certainly not a portal gun.

They quickly surrounded the old rusted building, two Spartans on either side of the door. In his head,

Master Chief counted down from three, then kicked the door in. Or tried to. All he actually achieved was to jar

his leg. This was followed by several choice words about the door, its mother, and the circumstances of its birth.

“It appears to be reinforced,” said Cortana, blinking back into existence and leaning in towards the shed.

“Oh, really?”

Master Chief inspected the door for a moment, then reached into his pack and pulled out several blue

sticky grenades. He placed them at several positions on the door for maximum explosive effect, then gestured

for the Spartans to back up to a safe distance before detonating them.

When the dust had settled, a charred hole filled the space where previously had stood the door.

“All right, men, we’re going in.”

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They stepped into the shed, the walls covered in rusty pipes and dials, many of which had ruptured in

the explosion. Suddenly the floor clanked and began slowly moving down.

“An elevator,” said one of the other soldiers.

After a minute of tense waiting the elevator stopped and a chrome door slid open, leading into a

darkened hallway. It appeared that no one had been in it for some time.

“This must be the lab,” said Master Chief.

“Who’s there?” called a voice over a loudspeaker. It was robotic, but also strangely feminine. “I don’t

recognize you. Are you new test subjects? If so, you should know that weapons are not allowed in the testing

facility. Scans also show that you are obese. Especially the middle one. That’s not my opinion, that’s a fact. It

says so right here on the scanner. And also that you were adopted. All four of you. …It says that on the scanner

too.”

The speaker paused. “Wait. Those are highly advanced suits. Are you… from Black Mesa?” The voice

grew instantly colder. “You are, aren’t you? Instead of developing its own Portal Gun, Black Mesa has elected

to design high tech suits to help steal our designs! Well that is not going to happen. I have just finished with one

of the most harrowing adventures of my life. I was a potato there for a while. I do not have the patience to deal

with you diplomatically. Enjoy death. There will not be cake. Goodbye.”

A skittering sound echoed down the corridor and a pale white oval robot scuttled around the corner. A

single red eye glowed in its center and four thin insect like legs stuck out beneath it. It was followed by four

others, who arranged themselves in a V shape at the end of the hall. Each red eye set its sights on one of the

Spartans, including Cortana, who materialized next to Master Chief.

“What the heck are those things?” He asked her.

“Old Turret models. I’m surprised they’re still functional. GLaDOS must have been keeping this facility

running all this time, security systems and all!”

“GLaDOS?”

“The AI that was speaking to us over the intercom system. My preliminary scans show that she runs

everything from a control room in the depths of the facility. We should probably head down there if we can.

Even if she doesn’t have the portal gun I can use the surveillance equipment in the room to find it.”

“And the turrets?”

“I suggest shooting them.”

“I can do that.”

END

This was a tough match up. The idea that two of our favorite AIs and their teams could meet up is very

exciting. Well, to me at least.

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I decided to place the setting at Aperture Labs because of GLaDOS’s immobility and reluctance to

leave. The Spartans, meanwhile, are forever traveling around the galaxy blowing stuff up. If they got wind of a

weapon developed years ago designed to create portals between two spaces, you can assume that they’d be

excited. It would give them an enormous tactical advantage over the Flood.

However, being located at Aperture Labs also gives GLaDOS a huge advantage. She controls everything

in the facility, from the security cams to the deadly floors. The Spartans would have to fight through the entire

facility in order to gain access to GLaDOS’s inner sanctum. Keep in mind too that, unlike Chel, the Spartans

can’t yet create portals, which means that they’d have to rely entirely on their weaponry to get through the

various test rooms, some of which include large, deep pits. Turrets, of course, would be a constant threat,

though GLaDOS’s deadly gas would probably not be effective due to their suits.

Likewise Cortana and the Spartans have several advantages. First off, the Spartans are an elite group of

soldiers with all sorts of weapons at their disposal, including all varieties of futuristic guns that could tear

through turrets and help them in the various test rooms. They also are highly trained in combat. Cortana as well

proves an immense advantage. Her purpose is to take down rogue AIs, which fits GLaDOS to a T. If they

managed to get through the labs to the control center Cortana would make short work of GLaDOS and any

other core that got in her way.

In the end I think with these factors combined that Cortana and the Spartans have a better chance of

winning, but not by much. GLaDOS can pit the very terrain against them. Assuming they get through, which I

think would be a 50/50, then GLaDOS doesn’t stand a chance. If you say that the Spartans have their vehicles as

well as their weapons, then she stands even less of a hope of defeating them. To put it bluntly:

That, was intense.

What do you think? Could Cortana get her supermen through GLaDOS’ lab alive? Assuming that Cortana is alive, of course, which she was when this was written.

One time, I spent all of my points in Halo: Reach multiplayer on the Cortana

voice. She annoyed the crap out of me. Nevertheless.

Let’s get down to the reviews!

Here’s one about a game I’ve never played. A game that a beautiful and

charming purple comment stream has never played. Fancy that. Also it has pictures!

Let’s Peruse:

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A Review of Ib

By Ryan Chackmak

I’m sure that if any of you had visited an art gallery

before, whether deliberately or forced, you’d say it was an

uneventful trip. You went in, looked at the art, admired or

hated it, then went on your merry way. But what if the art

gallery dragged you into it, like it did to the little girl Ib in the

game that shares her name. It was just an ordinary day for Ib,

until the gallery decided that it wanted to play.

As soon as Ib stares at the painting “The Other World,” the lights go out. From there she is left to wander about

the gallery, where the paintings now take a chance to frighten her. But it’s okay, there’s no health meter! The player is

free to wander about the now dark gallery, where the only way out is through a painting. After diving into it, Ib is taken

into an unfamiliar place. But look, a flower! Let’s just pick that up and…

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Wait, Ib’s only nine years old, so she can’t read everything yet.

This introduces another mechanic to the game, where the player

is forced to fill in the blanks that Ib can’t read. So the rose has

got three layers left to it, introducing Ib’s newfound health bar.

Every hit will take away another layer, until the flower wilts and

dies. Best we avoid that now. Going on, the game plays as a puzzle game with each piece of art requiring a different

solution.

After traveling through the gallery for a while, Ib comes across a man passed out on the ground. When the player

takes the time to backtrack to another room and use the key found in the man’s hand, Ib will find a blue rose being eaten

by the painting. After securing the rose, another gameplay mechanic is introduced. When a rose is placed into a vase of

water, the rose will recover its layers of petals. After doing this we are introduced to…

From this, Garry joins the player’s party. Since Garry is around 20 years old, he is able to help Ib read words she

doesn’t know and push heavy objects out of the way. And later at one point in the game, there will be an option to switch

between the two, but I won’t be visiting that far into the game to avoid major spoilers. For now, it’s time to take a look at

the game from another angle.

The game’s art style has an unruly and dark feel to it. Many of the art

gallery’s paintings have been turned into crazed versions of themselves. It

forces the players to think twice before they act as now everything is trying

to kill them. This is only helped by the music, bringing fear when is needed

and giving hope the same way. If the player wants to view their inventory,

they aren’t greeted by much.

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It shows the name of the items in Ib’s possession and a small description for each. However, this is all that’s

needed, as all the items are only used in the story and are not used for solving any puzzles.

The game has a high replayability value due to there being five different endings: three bad, one neutral, and one

good (based on my opinion). Along with this, one of the endings has two different outcomes too. I’d recommend this

game to anyone, even if they don’t particularly like the horror genre, and I’d even say there’s little reason not to at least

try it, since it’s free. The game follows suit with the art gallery within it; it may be twisted and insane at times, but is only

looking to have fun.

Now that, is all stuff that I never knew.

Might have to play that game. Once I find some appendages with which to do so, that is. I have none, you see, because I am an entity.

Mysterious.

Let’s move on, shall we? Or rather, Let’s move down, into the dark and divided realms,

of Dark Souls:

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Dark Souls Game Review

By Carter Brooke

Living Up to Its Name

Being the successor to Demon Souls, Dark Souls had quite a bit to live up to. A game that fed on tears and blood, Demon

Souls sent many of its players to regular therapy sessions for trauma. Dark Souls was the next in line for this torturous

franchise, and easily earned its place.

Story

From the very beginning, you are thrust into a feeling of pure hopelessness. Waking up in a dark, damp cell, surrounded

by dead, and then undead, being undead yourself, with nothing more than a broken sword. The atmosphere hits you

immediately, and keeps punching you in the face. Actually, it’s more like it chokes you, then slowly slips down your

throat and weighs down your heart ever so not slightly.

The game starts off easy. One undead, hit ‘em a few times, easy. Another undead, cool. Another, hey this isn’t so bad. All

of a sudden-

“BOOM! F*** YOU!!!” You walk into a room and a big ass demon falls from nowhere and makes you piss yourself. This

game has a way of giving you no warning, and forcing you to deal with the hand you’re dealt, as well as the crap that you

constantly end up stepping in.

The game isn’t much for storyline, not going to lie, but the cinematics are breath-taking. If you’re looking for a game that

has some touching, deep, involved story-line, this isn’t the game for you. Also, if you don’t want to cry yourself to sleep

every night, this game isn’t for you.

Gameplay

Where should I start? Oh yeah, everyone’s favorite part, combat. Swords, big swords, even bigger swords. The game does

not have a huge selection for weapons and armor, but it has enough to keep you from complaining. The armor and

weapons we are given, though, are spectacular. Armor, everything from knight armor for the intense rp’ers, to shiny black

leather for those kinky fellows, to armor made of stone for the tough guys. Weapons, everything from quick stabbing

daggers, to long penetrating spears, to huge sweeping greatswords. As for the actual combat. If you don’t dodge, you’re

screwed. If you don’t block, you’re screwed. My best advice would be to be patient, don’t lose your cool. If you throw a

9 temper tantrum, the game will take advantage of that and abuse you even more. Just be patient, don’t get hit, and wait for

an opening.

There is a learning curve. At first, the game is a slap in the face. And a kick to the balls. If you’re a girl, it makes you

grow balls, then kicks them. It’s that painful. But eventually, you catch on. You learn a thing or two. Your reaction time

improves immensely, your general awareness becomes stunning, and your quick thinking is suddenly… well, quick. But

just when you start getting confident, and start getting into a nice little groove, “SIT BACK DOWN!” The game throws

you a curve ball, reunites you with its pimp hand, and reminds you that class is still in session.

I have been saying how painful this game is, so you could be thinking, why play it? This game leaves you cold, depressed,

alone, empty. After playing for long periods of time, it will actually affect your mental stability and well-being. But. It

takes your empty, lifeless carcass, and fills you with a priceless sense of accomplishment. After dying 47 times on one

boss (true story) and seeing those magnificent golden words fill your screen, “YOU DEFEATED,” it grants you

something that makes all your pain and suffering almost worth it.

Did someone say bosses? Bosses? Bosses anyone? They are magnificent. Giant gleaming butterflies, giant stone golems,

giant white wolves swinging greatswords with their mouth, giant half-spider half-topless-woman chaos goddesses. The

creators of this game definitely did not lack creativity. Where they fall short in storyline, they definitely make up here.

Every boss is different, and forces you to adjust. For some bosses, you’ll need lighter armor to dodge faster, or heavier

armor because you just have to take the hits. Some you’ll need a faster weapon to jump in, stab, then jump out, others

you’ll need a big, heavy hitting weapon because you’ll get an opening, but not many, so you gotta do what you can when

you can.

Death

Yeah. Death. It deserves its own section because it is a key part in the game. KEY PART. If you don’t die, you’re doing it

wrong. Death is everything. It’s learning, it’s progress, it’s possibility, it’s opportunity. Death becomes your best friend,

your only friend in this hopeless world.

Every time you die, you lose all your accumulated souls (currency used to level up your stats as well as your equipment)

and every monster in the game respawns (except bosses and special situations). If you can make it back to where you died,

you can pick up all your lost souls, but if you die again before you get there... Well, I feel your pain. First you'll complain,

“Man! I lost 10,000 souls!” Then you’ll go through what I sadly had to go through. “100,000 souls. I lost. 100,000 souls.”

10 After awhile, it stops hurting. After awhile, you expect to die. You should. Every second you’re not staring at that “YOU

DIED” screen is a blessing.

Conclusion

As you literally inch your way through this soul-tearing world, this game teaches you something. It honestly makes you a

better gamer. Having one second to react? Psh, half a second is easy these days. Can do it with my eyes closed, and if you

play this game, so will you. Getting through this game is probably one of the greatest achievements any gamer could ever

earn. There should be a t-shirt only given to those who have killed the final boss in this game, who, did I mention, can

actually predict your moves? I spent all the free time I had for about a week on Gwyn, Lord of Cinder, and the lowest I’ve

been able to get him was 40% health. I stopped. I quit.

But that’s what Dark Souls is all about. Quitting. Or rather, pushing you to your limits, pushing the boundaries, your

capabilities. Then it takes those limits, and stretches them for you. It pushes you, and pushes you, and pushes you, until

you collapse, then stand up, smile, and turn around. You just turn around, and walk away. It pushes you until you know

you have done everything you can, you have gotten as far as you can go, and you stop. You quit, and you’re happy to do

it, because you know you did your best, you know how far you got and you’re proud. Taking the disc out and putting it

away is like saying goodbye to an old friend, an old mentor. Although a nightmarish experience, you’ll remember the

months you spend playing the game, bettering yourself, and you’ll be proud to say, “I played Dark Souls. And survived.”

My Best Advice?

If you’re not willing to die a lot, have anger issues, are impatient, not a true intense gamer, play games for fun, play for a

great story line, are mentally unstable, etc. this isn’t the game for you. But if you’re open to learn, you want to be

challenged, you want to play a game to appreciate the game itself, you want to remember what it’s like to play an actually

hard game, and most importantly, if you’re ready, then this could be the best 20 bucks you ever spend. If you do choose to

play, here are my best tips:

1) Be patient. Don’t lose your cool. If you don’t, you’ll always end up being stupid and making things worse.

2) Learn to appreciate death. If you die a ton in one place, the game’s obviously trying to tell you something, so

change things up.

3) If you lose anything under 50,000 souls, don’t worry about it. It’ll be okay, and you’ll easily earn them back,

especially later in the game. Anything above that, though, yeah, it’s okay to cry a little.

4) Find your own way to play. Me personally, I got some knight armor (elite, then silver, then black) and used a

greatsword (Zweihander) and shield (Black Iron Greatshield) and stuck with them through most of the game.

Everyone has their own play style, find one that suits you.

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5) It’s easy to get lost. Keep a readable walkthrough open and check what the “right way” is every once in awhile.

There are good ones available online on the Dark Souls Wiki for every area.

6) Finally, remember, it’s a game. Sure, it’s a hard one, but do your best, and try to have fun.

Good Luck. You’re going to need it.

Wow. That was quite the review, no? A whole new take, if you ask me.

Which you should have, of course, because I’m amazing.

How about something a little more light hearted. This is a comic by junior Madison

Evans. It’s a tale about love, conquest, and several generations of Pokemon majesty.

And that’s only chapter one:

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That’s All for Chapter One! Talk about cliff hanger…

Will the Pokemon be forced to battle by that trainer who looks kind of like Ash? Or will

they solve their issues more amicably/seductively?

I HAVE NO IDEA STAY TUNED

Whelp, that’s all for now. I don’t know about you, but this magazine rocked my world.

Well, I rocked my own world, I guess. Because I am the magazine.

I am not Graceanne.

GOODBYE!!!

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