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How to develop your mentors’ interpersonal and communication skills

Date: 8th November 2014 Location: Barcelona Facilitator: Val Barritt, Head of training & quality assurance (val.barritt@mandbf.org)

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To provide an overview of the key stages in a typical mentoring relationship – starting out together; getting to know the person; identifying issues to work on; action planning; standing alongside and concluding the relationship

To explore the interpersonal and communication skills required at each stage and what educators can do to help their mentors to develop these skills, for example: rapport building; empathetic listening; helpful questioning; setting goals with someone and managing the end of the relationship

Aims of the workshop

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The Mentoring and Befriending Foundation provides services which aim to increase the effectiveness and quality of mentoring and befriending as methods of enabling individuals to transform their lives and/or reach their full potential:

Training and resources – we provide high quality training and resources to support the development and management of mentoring and befriending projects

Quality Assurance – we encourage organisations to achieve our quality standard, the Approved Provider Standard (APS) as a way of promoting good practice

MBF network membership – we provide a membership network for individuals and organisations interested in mentoring and befriending

About MBF

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Ice breaker

Mentoring is...

A voluntary, mutually beneficial and purposeful relationship in which an individual gives time to support another to enable them to make changes in their life.

(MBF)

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Mentoring definition

“Social mentoring is a tool for educational intervention which promotes the voluntary relationship between people who offer to provide individual support and people who are at risk of social exclusion.

This relationship is motivated and supervised by a professional. The volunteer (mentor) “helps the mentee make their way” and supports them in their personal and/or career development.”

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Social mentoring

Stages of mentoring relationship

1.STARTING OUT Beginning the relationship Getting to know the person

2. GETTING GOING Focusing on issues Helping develop new perspectives Action planning

33. MAKING PROGRESS Standing alongside

4. REACHING THE DESTINATION Ending the relationship

HANDOUT 1

Mentoring is about a helping and supporting relationship.

It involves interaction between people - the mentor and the

mentee

A mentor needs to develop and use skills related to:

Rapport building

Empathetic listening

Questioning approaches

Setting goals

Managing the end of the relationship

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Skills of mentoring

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The learning cycle

Do something

(Activist)

Think about it

(Reflector)

Make sense of it

(Theorist)

Test it out

(Pragmatist)

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Your role as educator

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Ask, listen Tell, instruct

Close and harmonious relationship in which there is common understanding.

It’s a relationship in action, our sense of connection with each other.

The link and mutual understanding that exists between two people, often built over time and through shared experiences.

Rapport works on features of ‘sameness.’

Rapport – what is it?

Rapport

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Rapport?

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‘To listen’

Empathy is the ability to:

Listen and attend to the other person and enter their reality

Make sense of what you hear

Identify key experiences, thoughts and feelings and communicate your understanding sensitively

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Empathy

Empathy involves:

The skills of active listening

Awareness of your own feelings and perceptions

Good communication skills

Sensitivity and respect towards the other person’s viewpoint and frame of reference

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It enables the other person to:

Feel valued and understood

Develop trust and openness towards the listener

Open up about what is on their mind

Focus on what they are trying to express

Express themselves without pressure

Feel supported

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Empathetic listening skills practise

Working in pairs

Handout 2: listening skills brief

Handout 3: 10 steps to positive communication

Empathetic listening skills

Questions, questions

Handout 4: questioning styles

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Stages of mentoring relationship

1.STARTING OUT Beginning the relationship Getting to know the person

2. GETTING GOING Focusing on issues Helping develop new perspectives Action planning

33. MAKING PROGRESS Standing alongside

4. REACHING THE DESTINATION Ending the relationship

HANDOUT 1

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The wheel

H handout 5

Finding employment

Life skills

Social

Technical skills

Education & training

Other

Personal wellbeing

Soft skills

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Goal setting

What is the goal?

What are the steps?

Handout 6

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Managing endings

What will a good ending look like for mentor and mentee?

How will you help your mentors to manage the ‘ending’ of their mentoring relationship?

Summary

Final questions

Find out more about our training, resources, network membership and our Quality standard (APS) by visiting our website www.mandbf.org

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Wrap up of session