mediation using choice theory & non-violent communication ashby kindler & mary kelly murray...
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MediationUsing Choice Theory & Non-Violent
Communication
Ashby Kindler & Mary KellyMurray High School
Ground Rules
1 Person Speaks at a time
Not a court of law, where one person is right and one person is wrong.
“I” statements NOT “You” statements.
Willing to make a plan? (no plan, no mediation)
Story Telling
Coach participants to use NVC components:
I.ObservationII.FeelingsIII.Needs (introduce Glasser’s 5 needs)
1. Observation
(Specific behavioral observations free of judgments, labels, opinions)
“When I hear/see/notice
Empathy
Reflect back the story the first student shared, attempting to touch on the observations, feelings, and needs
Elicit whatever Empathetic response the person listening has.
Then address the person listening & …
… build the bridge of understanding or empathy
Story Telling
Coach participants to use NVC components:
I.ObservationII.FeelingsIII.Needs (introduce Glasser’s 5 needs)
Repeat Process with other person.
Empathy
Repeat process w/other person
Reflect back the story the first student shared, attempting to touch on the observations, feelings, and needs
Elicit whatever Empathetic response the person listening has.
Repeat the process
Then address the person listening & …
… build the bridge of understanding or empathy
The Plan
What requests does each party have?
Plan has to be agreeable to each party.
Requests have to be positive action in nature. Ex. Instead of “no swearing”, might say, “using appropriate language for classroom”.
Useful Links
The Center for Non-Violent Communication - http://www.cnvc.org/
The Glasser Institute - http://wglasser.com/