MediationUsing Choice Theory & Non-Violent

CommunicationAshby Kindler & Mary Kelly

Murray High School

Ground Rules

1 Person Speaks at a time

Not a court of law, where one person is right and one person is wrong.

“I” statements NOT “You” statements.

Willing to make a plan? (no plan, no mediation)

Story Telling

Coach participants to use NVC components:

I.ObservationII.FeelingsIII.Needs (introduce Glasser’s 5 needs)

Four ComponentsI. Observation

II. Feeling

III. Need

IV. Request

1. Observation

(Specific behavioral observations free of judgments, labels, opinions)

“When I hear/see/notice

FeelingsNOT…I feel that…

Rather

Needs – Glasser’s 5 Needs

Love & Belonging

Empathy

Reflect back the story the first student shared, attempting to touch on the observations, feelings, and needs

Elicit whatever Empathetic response the person listening has.

Then address the person listening & …

… build the bridge of understanding or empathy

Story Telling

Coach participants to use NVC components:

I.ObservationII.FeelingsIII.Needs (introduce Glasser’s 5 needs)

Repeat Process with other person.

Empathy

Repeat process w/other person

Reflect back the story the first student shared, attempting to touch on the observations, feelings, and needs

Elicit whatever Empathetic response the person listening has.

Repeat the process

Then address the person listening & …

… build the bridge of understanding or empathy

The Plan

What requests does each party have?

Plan has to be agreeable to each party.

Requests have to be positive action in nature. Ex. Instead of “no swearing”, might say, “using appropriate language for classroom”.

Useful Links

The Center for Non-Violent Communication - http://www.cnvc.org/

The Glasser Institute - http://wglasser.com/