me and my friend services collaborating creatively to support children’s development from an...
TRANSCRIPT
Me and My Friend
Services collaborating creatively to support children’s development from an
attachment based perspective
Susan Elvery, Relationships AustraliaLisa Hofman, SDN Child and Family Services
The Partnership
With SDN Brighter Futures, the DoCS funded program targeting vulnerable families with children aged 0-8 years
Began mid 2006 with a significant increase in work April 2008
Run over 400 sessions using a variety of programs including 6 Me and My Friend courses
Current focus is Me and My Friend, with children and parents present, due to shift in emphasis toward attachment based intervention within SDN
The Client Group
Families with: children aged 0-8 years where there have been impacts from
domestic abuse, substance abuse, post-natal depression and other mental health conditions and children showing evidence of emotional and/or behavioural problems
and may be:
single parent families
coming from overseas with few if any supports
involved in court processes
Each family has an Early Intervention Caseworker whose role is to:
engage the families into the Brighter Futures program
assess each family’s strengths and needs
develop a ‘customised’ attachment based ‘in-home parenting’ case plan (Beth
Macgregor)
build readiness to attend
refer family to Me and My Friend
Assistance with transport and coaching parents with social phobia or
depression to attend
EIW and Me and My Friend
The Hard Resources
The Me and My Friend manual and worksheets
Name tags to decorate
Feeling cards including the St Luke’s ‘Bears’ and Stones Have Feelings Too’ cards and the ‘Strength’ cards
The Feelings Series book by Trace Moroney
The Family Book by Todd Parr
Craft materials for making special boxes and collage
Play dough, stickers, bubbles, balloons, balls, textas, pencils, soft music, hand cream for massage
The Soft Resources
Group Leaders from RA and SDN bringing:
freshness, inquiry, attention, acceptance, relationship, gentleness, safe gentle men, friendly strong women, challenges to family patterns of relating, invitation to do things differently, structure, containment, play, gifts, new information, listening e.g.' I can talk to Steven’
The Model
Program delivered over 8, 6 or 4 weeks - 1½ hours per group
Families arrive, have afternoon tea together, children and parents separate
Parents meet as a group with a facilitator discussing parenting issues
Facilitator provides educational input around attachment, children’s feelings, self care and understanding children’s behaviour in a supportive discussion group
The Model
Children work with 2-3 group leaders
For the last ½ hour parents and children join and children share work and leaders facilitate combined activity or discussion e.g. read The Family Book, make a stress ball, discuss children’s scrapbook
Weekly feedback report provided to SDN Early Intervention Workers e.g. the child who sits still for reading
How We Work Allow the children to be
Observe the way the children interact in the group context and especially within their sibling relationship
Intervene in a timely manner and use the teachable moments
Invite different ways of relating
Use what is in the room e.g. building blocks and other toys
Encourage parent and child conversations around the children’s feelings and the children managing their feelings and behaviour
Some Vignettes
The child who has good knowledge of his own strong emotions but this was overwhelming for his mother – when mother asks what to do with this suggest ‘be with them’
The child who wants to lie down with a pillow and over time comes forward and joins with the group - allowing her to ‘be’ and gentle invitation to join
Modelling to sibling and mother asking a boy with autism about his own preferences
More Vignettes The boy and the facilitator who prefer ‘pure’ colour
play dough and have difficulty coping with events out of their control - Mum valued this lesson for her son
Inviting a sibling of a child with autism to allow us to help with her brother whilst he is in the group
Learning to share – talking about how if it feels when things are scarce and you feel you need to grab for things
Containing the desire to want more and trying to teach to trust that something promised will come and that you can be remembered
More Vignettes ‘Leaning in’ to the desire for gifts by bringing
something special each week
‘Containing’ about going to the toilet and the child reaches out and hugs me
Using the toys in the group to allow a resistant child to talk about his feelings
Boy requests group to be on 2 days per week, other children ask for group to be just one more week or forever
Expression of sadness at group ending
Anecdotal Benefits
Older sibling feels more loved, valued and accepted by his mother and behaves less hostilely toward his younger brother
Child is more co-operative with mother, mother able to praise son rather than criticise, more connected relationship
Mother learns attachment based discipline techniques which do not distress child and parent, child decreased anxious behaviour and expression
Boy who has been victim of physical domestic abuse reduced verbal abuse to Mum
More Anecdotal Benefits
Behaviour at school improved - an award for staying in the one place
Sibling bonds strengthened Parent and child develop strategies that help child
deal with anger Mother who develops ability to reflect upon her
children’s behaviour and see and respond to the emotional content
Mother who understands that her children are different and need differently from her
Susan Elvery and Lisa Hofman July 2010
Mother and son wanting to spend time together - child enrolled in less vacation care
Mother sharing with child’s passion for football Separated parents who attended alternate weeks
report children feeling more supported Child who cries and seeks comfort from mum
rather than acting out angrily
More Anecdotal Benefits