may i have this dance? learning effective interactions with oppositional and defiant students ©...

© 2015, Center for Learning & Development

May I Have This Dance?

Learning Effective Interactions with Oppositional and Defiant Students


Presented by Center for Learning & Development

200 W. Highway 6, Suite 503

Waco, Texas 76712

www.cldtx.org

The Oppositional

Student Characteristics

Causes

3 Different Invitations to

Dance

How Can We Make it Worse?

How Can We Make it Better?© 2015, Center for Learning & Development

•Control !• Blaming others

• Negativity

• Irritable mood

• May or not be ODD

Characteristics


Control


Physical – “You can’t make

me!”

Cognitive – “That’s stupid!”

Emotional – “I don’t care.”

Causation


biology

The Thinking Brain

Frontal – planning, organizing,

problem solving,

making good choices


Agitation & the Brain



Causation

biology

temperament

psychological

factors

social factors

Wouldn’t you like to finish your

work?

[ ignores ]

Come on, you just have a

little to do…

I’ll do it when I finish drawing.

I’m not going to

ask again…

You always give me a hard time!

If you’re not going to work,

you’re not going to stay in

my class!

[ meltdown! ]

The Dance


Invitations to Dance

Physical: “You can’t make

me.”

Cognitive: “That’s stupid.”

Emotional: “I don’t care!”

How can we

make it…worse?


How can we

make it…better?



First things first


Top Management Skills

consistency

routines

relationships

Relationships are

Everything!



Relationship-Building

Trust &

Respect

Leave It at the Door!

They are

Kids

Meet & Greet

Don’t Take It

Personally

No Sarcasm

or Anger

Face-Saving

Techniques

May I Have This

Dance?


side-stepignore say “yes”

Your Response


IGNORE



The Great DebateThe ultimate plan:

a graceful, “face-saving” exit.

Walk away

Don’t defend

yourself!

Change the

subject

SIDE-STEP



Refuse to Dance

STUDENT TEACHER

Positive or Neutral

POSITIVE

Negative NEUTRAL


LISTEN to WORDS2

HEAR

• Overlook the intonation – for now

• Offer a calming period

SAY

• Put angry feelings into words• Help him verbalize the cause

THINK

• Help him think of alternatives• Help him consider

consequences

ACCEPT



CHOICESGive 2 or 3 choices.

State the choices briefly and clearly.

Repeat the words like a broken record

in a calm, unemotional manner.

If possible, engage student in

problem-solving.

2


CONSEQUENCESIf he refuses both choices…

Map out the consequences before the

“heat of battle.”

Begin by removing reinforcers,

but allow him to earn the items back.

Always give yourself an “out.”

3


WATCH OUT

Oppositional kids are very savvy.

“Sneak” the positive stuff past them.

Start Positive:

Set up positive reinforcers for compliant

behavior.


When things head southKnow your options

Move away from the student.

Repeat your request in a business-like voice.

Impose predetermined consequence for noncompliance.

If the plan’s not working…

turn to a team approach.

Key things to rememb

er


to keep your sanity


TAKE CARE OF YOU

3

POSITIVE

relations

hip

Non-oppositional side

Don’t start

the dance!

Don’t

take

it

personall

y.


Watch what you SAY

Don’t ARGUE.

Don’t talk A LOT.

Watch your speech intonation.


Watch what you DO

Watch your body language.

Move toward him at slow pace.

Respect his personal space.

Sit next to him at eye level.


Watch what you THINK

Are you focusing on the plan?

Am I annoyed and just reacting?

Evaluate: How did it work?

The apple doesn’t fall far from the

tree


Dealing with Oppositional

Parents

Though no one can go back and

make a brand new start,



For more information,contact us

www.cldtx.org 254-751-0922 [email protected]

may i have this dance? learning effective interactions with oppositional and defiant students ©...

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