marriage message 3
TRANSCRIPT
7/28/2019 Marriage Message 3
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We sat together at my kitchen counter, conversation trickling to awkward silence. Things in her
marriage had reached a breaking point, she said. She hoped I could help, she said. I listened and
tried to give encouragement, but in my heart I knew it wasn’t enough. I wanted to give her something that would last, something she could cling to even in the difficult season of her life.
What I needed was a benediction—the right word that went beyond what I could possibly give.
The word benediction comes from a Latin term meaning “to speak well.” Traditionally, a
benediction is a short prayer for help, blessing, or guidance. Benedictions aren’t just for the endof sermons. A close study of Scripture reveals the power of the final word can do more than the
entire conversation before it.
That day at my kitchen counter, I was ill-equipped to guide my young friend through a difficulttime. I ended up falling back on some lame words about “everything being OK,” words neither
of us truly believed. For me, that conversation sparked a desire to lead better. How could I
provide a better “ending” when someone is looking for guidance or help?
Since then, I’ve discovered the power of benediction in everyday life and ministry. Knowinghow to end a conversation, a prayer, or a note of encouragement can help the ones you lead
refocus their hearts from their problems to the promises of our great God. Here’s what a closer
look at benedictions taught me.
Benedictions Are Memorable
Social psychologists call our aptitude at remembering final words the “recency effect.” The principle of recency states that the things most recently learned are the ones most likely to be
remembered. Apply that to the many endings in your day: From finishing an email to saying
goodbye to our children at the bus stop, our lives are full of opportunities for “one last thing.”
Unfortunately, my “one last thing” usually ends up being tired, recycled words I’ve already usedor reminders about buttoning coats. This is not what I want my co-workers, children, and friends
to remember! When I consider the recency effect, I feel even more certain that the words I writeand speak could use a tune-up.
Benedictions Give Perspective
Consider the way the Apostle Paul ended his letters. Paul ended the book of Romans with these
words: “All glory to the only wise God, through Jesus Christ, forever. Amen” (Romans 16:27) In
one sentence, Paul reminded us of the truth of a) God’s place as the only true object of worship, b) our purpose in bringing him glory, and c) our identity in Christ. He condensed the entire
message of Romans into one final statement. He didn’t close his letter with one more reminder, but a powerful perspective-shaking blessing that reminds us of our positioning with the God of the universe, the only one who has infinite knowledge and is worthy of our worship.
In ministry, I need perspective. I need the constant reminder of what really matters. When the
burden of others’ struggles falls heavily on my shoulders, I can repeat this phrase to myself and
lift my spiritual eyes to the truth: God is wise, he is glorious, he is eternal, and I have right
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standing with him through Christ. Everything becomes lighter when compared to the weight of
his glory.
Benedictions Remind Us of Spiritual Truths
Consider one of Paul’s standard benedictions, found in Philippians 4:23, Philemon 25, andGalatians 6:18: “May the grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with your spirit.” Paul reminded us
that no matter what struggle we face, our deepest blessing comes not from circumstances
changing, but in a settled soul. It is Christ’s grace manifest in our lives that is present with our spirits—and that gives us the power to overcome any trial or struggle in this world.
So often I find myself wanting to give humanistic platitudes, “one step at a time,” or “you’ll get
through this” or “it’ll get better.” The reality is, words always fail in the face of true struggle, and
when we find ourselves at the end of our rope, we realize that only God’s power in our spiritsgives us the strength to stand.
Benedictions Are a Stamp of Personal Faith
Dick Halverson, former chaplain of the United States Senate, was known for his personal benediction, words that spoke truth and life over all he ministered to:
“You go nowhere by accident. Wherever you go, God is sending you there. Wherever you are,
God has put you there. He has a purpose in your being there…Believe this, and go in His grace,
and love, and power. Amen!”
My spiritual mentor and pastor is fond of this benediction as well as his own, lodged deep within
my own heart after I’ve heard it dozens of times:
“Remember, you stand before an audience of one. The one God, the with-me God. Now go in his
grace.”
My pastor’s words aren’t unique to him, but they are memorable because of the passion and belief with which he speaks them. This simple closing reminds me every time of exactly where I
place my hope.
Perhaps the words of the apostle Paul or the psalmist feel rote in your heart. But you, like Dick
Halverson and my pastor, can let Scripture inform your own personal benediction. Making thesewords our own helps us re-center perspective, and it leaves those around us on a powerful and
true note.
Benedictions are like the punctuation in our lives. The words inform the sentence before and givea sense of the sentence to come. Choose your words wisely.
Since studying the benedictions of Scripture, I’ve found myself pausing before ending times of
counsel and care or times with my children. I’ve pondered what I can say to point others back to
the only source of true life. And so I close with these words:
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As babies evoke smiles to our faces, so does your heart evoke God’s delight. He has delivered
you from the power of death and defeat through his Son, Jesus Christ. So go in the power of his
delight and his grace today!
Nicole Unice is a ministry associate at Hope Church in Richmond, VA, and the author of She’sGot Issues , a book and DVD-based curriculum on finding God in our everyday struggles. Find
out more at http://www.nicoleunice.com.