7/28/2019 Marriage 8

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Struggling to Forgive

How do you forgive someone who was never supposed to hurt you in the first place? Why

forgive them? What about all the damage to your marriage and family? The best answer is youmust; forgiveness was extended to you. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, "If you forgive those who

sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, yourFather will not forgive your sins." If you refuse to forgive, you operate in sin and in covenant

with Satan.

These questions and declarations are hard to swallow. I have battled with them in my marriage,

but I came out victorious. I battled so much with unforgiveness because I could not see my own

sin. I could not see that my unwillingness to forgive was just as ugly to God as the things Iblamed my husband for. The reason we battle unforgiveness is because we can only see the

depravity in the souls of others, ignoring the beams in our own eyes. I won the battle of

unforgiveness when I realized that I was in need of forgiveness from God and my sweet

husband. I won the battle when I was willing to face the ugliness of my own heart and surrender

my heart to God. I realized my enemies were my own flesh and Satan, who loves to work in myflesh. Unforgiveness is a work of the flesh, and it will remain until you crucify it on the altar of

forgiveness.

We struggle to forgive because we justify our rights and inappropriately apply God's Word.Many of us have declared inwardly or outwardly, "The Bible said, 'Be ye angry.' " We forget the

rest of the Scripture verse: " and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians

4:26, KJV). If we are honest, many of us are angry and sin for days, weeks, months, years. Manyof us will carry the sin of unforgiveness to our grave.

Forgiveness becomes a struggle when we seek to please our flesh. We struggle because the Holy

Spirit demands that we be like Christ. God is as displeased with unforgiveness as he is withsexual sins, deception, lying, and envy. We must remember that any sin either of us couldcommit, Jesus paid for at Calvary. Who gave us the right to make our spouses pay for sin when

we did not?

Due to the gravity of their offenses, we believe we have the authority to execute judgment on our

mates. But God would never entrust vengeance into our hands. Why? Our sin-stricken souls willnever view our spouses purely through the eyes of God's grace. We should be concerned for

ourselves when we seek revenge on the people we promised to love, honor, and cherish.

Unforgiveness unequivocally implicates the wickedness hidden in our hearts and the depravity ofour own souls.