marrakech essay redrafting
DESCRIPTION
This is the first part of the slidedeck I put together to help my S5/6 class redraft and improve their Marrakech essays.TRANSCRIPT
MarrakechImproving Your Essay With P.E.E.
How Not To Use Quotations
"Anyone can be sorry for the donkey with its galed back, but it is generally owing to some kind of acident if one even notices the old woman under her load of sticks"
This quote by George shows that people care more about the donkeys than the people. It also shows the old woman had to carry a load of sticks that the donkey could have carried instead and I don't think it is fair either.
"Anyone can be sorry for the donkey with its galed back, but it is generally owing to some kind of acident if one even notices the old woman under her load of sticks"
This quote by George shows that people care more about the donkeys than the people. It also shows the old woman had to carry a load of sticks that the donkey could have carried instead and I don't think it is fair either.
"Anyone can be sorry for the donkey with its galed back, but it is generally owing to some kind of acident if one even notices the old woman under her load of sticks"
This quote by George shows that people care more about the donkeys than the people. It also shows the old woman had to carry a load of sticks that the donkey could have carried instead and I don't think it is fair either.
Spelling Errors are
unforgivable in a
quotation!
You must always
introduce a quotation!
You don't know Orwell! Use Surnames only!
You are meant to write in something called formal
continuous prose… and that means no contractions!
P.E.E.
• Point
• Evidence
• Explanation
Point
• What point are you trying to make in the first place?
• How does the point relate to the main THEME(S) of
the text?
• What is the best way of introducing your point?
Evidence
• Does your evidence really support or prove the
point you are trying to make?
• How much of the quotation is actually needed?
• Have you presented the evidence correctly?
Explanation
• Unless you explain what your evidence
shows, you are wasting your time.
• Your explanation needs to show or explain
the relationship between the evidence and the
point you are trying to make.
• Simplicity and clarity are always the best
strategies.
Look... A Donkey!
• Let's look again at the
quotation I've selected...
• 1st: What aspect of the
THEME does it illustrate?
• 2nd: It's a long quotation…
do we need to use all of it?
• 3rd: What point are you trying
to make by using it?
Main Theme
The end of
colonialism is
inevitable...
Main Theme
The end of
colonialism is
inevitable...
PS: Morocco was a
French colony… Orwell
is British, but he was
visiting Morocco!
How To Use Quotations
"Anyone can be sorry for the donkey with its galed back, but it is generally owing to some kind of acident if one even notices the old woman under her load of sticks"
First: MAKE SURE IT IS SPELLED CORRECTLY!
How To Use Quotations
"Anyone can be sorry for the donkey with its galled back, but it is generally owing to some kind of accident if one even notices the old woman under her load of sticks"
First: MAKE SURE IT IS SPELLED CORRECTLY!
What Does The Quotation
Illustrate… And How?
• It has to illustrate something related to the
theme if it is to be worth using...
Quickly write down what you think the
quotation has to say about the MAIN
THEME of the essay.
(2 minutes!)
What Does The Quotation
Illustrate… And How?
• Which part of the quotation is actually the
important bit?
Quickly select the word(s) that are actually
related to the main theme. The skill is
remembering that you want to use the
minimum of words from the original and are
allowed to paraphrase the rest.
(2 minutes!)