Caregivers: practical advice

Association of Families and Friends of PeopleWith a Mental Illness (West Island)

Managing stress and exhaustion

Being a caregiver is a source of constant stress. Stress is a normal pheno-menon and is a physical and psychological response to a particular event.

• Caregivers’ efficiency is directly linked to their ability to main-tain a reasonable level of stress• No one is invincible• It is important to rec-ognize this and accept your limits• Stress is not a sign of weakness• Each individual is dif-ferent and unique• Caregivers must first work on themselves in order to manage stress and find ways to relax

Sources of stress for caregivers

Reversal of roles• The caregiver must now perform the tasks that the person with the illness used to do• The spouse now becomes the caregiver or the child becomes the parent• Some decisions must be made by the caregiver

ConstraintsEven without having to take care of someone, our obligations often conflict with our personal lives. Example: work versus leisure time. Becoming a caregiver adds to these constraints

Unrealistic expectations• Believing that it will be easy• Thinking that you will never get discouraged, lose your patience

• Believing that you are not up to the task• Expecting that your friends will know how to act or help; instead, you must let them know what they can do.

Emotional stress• The caregiver is con-tinually caught between different feelings: anger, sadness, guilt• Family members may not agree on the deci-sions to be made or the care to be given

Isolation• Caregivers often isolate themselves in order not to bother other people• Friends may not make contact because they do not want to intrude• The role and respon-sibilities of caregivers leave them with little time for themselves

ExhaustionIn addition to their regular responsibilities,

which are often already quite heavy, caregivers must: Weigh and make decisions, think and plan ahead, provide and ensure support for the ill person. Manage medication, diet, hygiene, behaviour, safety

Watch for the warning signs of exhaustion. Caregivers may:• Feel more tired• Be more irritable or impatient• Have difficulty concentrating• Have trouble sleeping• Have a decreased appetite or, conversely, eat constantly• Put their own activities aside• Feel overloaded• Become eaten away by guilt

Friendly Link Vol:32 Issue:1March April May 2013

Friends for Mental HealthWest Island750 avenue DawsonDorval, Québec H9S 1X1

(514) 636-6885 www.asmfmh.orgasmfmh@qc.aira.com

Copie en français disponible

In this issue:Caregivers: practical advice ................................................................................................... 1 & 6Calendar of events ........................................................................................................................................ 2Volunteers - Events ...................................................................................................................................... 3Feeling Angry ...................................................................................................................................................... 4Aging Caregivers ............................................................................................................................................ 5Françoise Vien Award - Douglas Institute Research ......................................... 6Facebook - Website - Convention - Fair .............................................................................. 7Varia ................................................................................................................................................................................ 8

continued on page 6

32years

CONFERENCE:Cultivating Mindfulness to Reduce Stress and Anxiety

SUPPORT GROUPPSYCHOSIS(English & French) First Tuesday of the month, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.Must register

BIPOLAR DISORDER(English & French)Third Tuesday of the month, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.Must register

BORDERLINE DISORDER(English & French)Fourth Tuesday of the month, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.Must register

YOUTH (13 - 17 YEARS OLD)Second Tuesday of the month,6:30 - 8:30 p.m. Log in on fb!Must register

NAVIGATORS (7 - 12 YEARS OLD)Social club for children who have completed the Anna workshop March 22nd 2013, 5:00 - 8:00 p.m.Must register

WORKSHOPTAKING CARE OF YOURSELF(English)Taking care of our own needs is not selfish - it is a necessity. We will gain a better understanding of stress and how to reduce its effects as well as inves-tigate how to increase our resilience and happiness. Must registerThursdays,March 14th -April 11th

1:00 - 3:00 p.m.

BIPOLAR DISORDER: WHAT IS IT AND HOW TO BETTER MANAGE IT?(French ; 20 $ for material)This 11 week psychoeducational program on Bipolar Disorder has been d signed to help family members with a loved one suffering from Bipolar Disorder.Must register

Tuesdays, March 19th - May 28th,6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

ART THERAPY(English & French)Caregivers will explore the difficulties related to mental illness as well as their thoughts and feelings and how to better cope by using their inner strengths. Par-ticipants do not require any artistic skills or experience.Must register, $2/workshopMondays, 1:00 - 3:00 p.m.Wednesdays, 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

WORKSHOP‘‘HEALTH CARDS SYSTEM’’by JULIE A. FAST(English)A one session workshop offered to fam-ily members who have a loved one with Bipolar Disorder.The Health Cards System is a healing tool which helps the ill person learn how to better manage their symptoms and moods, focusing on learning/preventing triggers and how to deal with it better.Must registerMonday, March 11th

6:30 - 9:00 p.m.

TRAINING FOR CAREGIVERS

Wednesday, March 20th, 2013, 8:30 p.m. (English)

Guest Speaker: Lynda Ryan, Child and Adult PsychologistDeveloping mindfulness is a way of experiencing more ease and centeredness in each moment of our day. Through connecting with the reality of the moment at hand, we increase our effectiveness and relieve tension in every day life. We come to recognize unproductive repetitive thought patterns and contrast them with a state of calm attention in each situation.Please join us as we explore this useful means of over-coming fatigue, increasing effectiveness and developing peace of mind.

Calendar of events Families working towards recovery

Families working towards recovery Page 3

PIVERY MPORTANT IZZA NIGHTThis is an opportunity for us to thank our volun-teers, share with them on their mission and meet new candidates.

Reservation at (514) 636 6885 or asmfmh@qc.aira.com. Thank you in advance for taking the time to help us, to be there for others as we were there for you. Each family is important to us. Join us for this so important project.

Mental Health Week May 6th-12th, 2013CMHA’s Mental Health Week is an annual national event that takes place during the first week in May to encourage people from all walks of life to learn, talk, reflect and engage with others on all issues relating to mental health.See program at: www.acsmmontreal.qc.ca

Move for mental health on May 26th, 2013

Many events will be held in most communities across Canada.Please visit www.defeatdepression.ca for all the details.

Thanks to our volunteersWe take this opportunity to say a big thank you to all our volun-teers who, in their different actions, are contributing to the growing success of the services provided to the families:

Joyce Crowley, Denise Crawden, Claude Renaud, Bar-bara Choquette, Deanna Gauthier, Olivette Levasseur, Guyline Goulet, Martha Plaski, Linda Percival, Fiona Gibbon-Taillefer, Nobuko Inoue, Penny Speiran, Yolanda Rodriguez, Eric Payne, Irene Parsons, Philomena Lopez, Connie Light, Douglas Knight, Georges Chamoun, Les-lie Fletcher, Eileen Willett, Nunzio Vendetti, June Blue, Myriam Sefriou, Andrew Stelmach, Louise Laurier** non exhaustive list, we apologize for any omissions.

You inform families at the Lakeshore Hospital, participate in com-mittees, do clerical tasks, you translate our documentation, you represent our organization in a variety of information booths and at special events, etc.

We warmly thank you!

The smallest action is always more usefulthan the greatestintention!

Did you know?Friends are present at Lakeshore Hospital thanks to volunteers.

Volunteering is a very rewarding and fulfilling experience. It allows you to have a significant impact and make a real difference for a family in crisis, simply by giving a little of your time.

We are looking for volunteers to help with our outreach to hospi-tal program. You need to be a member of Friends. Just a few hours can make a significant difference to new families by letting them know about our services.

Are you interested? You’re invited

to our VIP party

Wednesday May 15th

at 5:30 p.m.

P

EVERYWHERE

EVERYONEFOR

Families working towards recovery

Feeling AngryAll of us feel angry, at least occasionally. Most of the time when we get angry, we get over it quickly because, somehow, we resolve the situation and our feelings of anger pass. Anger becomes a problem, however, if we “bottle it up” or if we “blow up.” Both of these extremes cause problems for the angry people and for those around them.

When Should You Do Something About Anger?

Feelings of anger are a normal reaction to some situations be-yond your control. They can also indicate that you are simply under too much stress, and it can be hard to know if you should just let your anger pass or work at getting rid of it.

It is time to admit that anger is a problem and to look for ways of dealing with it if your anger is:

• Constantly on your mind for several weeks and is begin-ning to seriously harm your enjoyment of life• Caused by something that happened a long time ago• Causing you to do vengeful things• Making you act violently to others or to yourself• Interfering with your ability to do your job• Hurting your relationships with your family and friends

Dealing with Your Anger

It is important to deal with your anger before it causes you discomfort or pain. Studies have shown that an-ger can cause serious health problems such ulcers and heart disease. It can also make you behave in ways that could cause you to lose your job or friends, or result in the break-up of your marriage. There are some things you can do to deal with your anger as it happens. Other things you can do involve changing your way of approaching life by learn-ing new attitudes and taking a number of practical ac-tions.

Short-Term Solutions

• Admit that you are angry. If you bottle up your angry feelings, they will not go away, and they will keep coming out over and over again, painfully.• Try not to over-react. Step back from the situation that is mak-ing you angry and ask yourself, “What would I think of someone else if I saw him/her getting angry in this situation?” or “Is this situation really as bad as I am making it out to be?”• Try to make yourself think about something else. Turn your at-tention to some pleasant memory rather than the line-up, traf-fic jam or whatever is irritating you.• Identify the source of your anger. If the actions or words of another person are hurting you, try to you deal with him/her directly in a peaceful and productive way.• Listen carefully to what others are saying to you, and let them

finish without interruption. Very often, you will not understand the real message if you “jump in” after a few words. Give people a chance to explain themselves.

Long-Term Solutions

• If your anger is caused by something beyond your control, such as a job lay-off, find out how others have dealt with the problem successfully, and try to follow their lead.• Avoid blaming yourself, even if you are angry because of mis-

fortune caused by your own mistake. It is best to try to learn from your experiences and avoid making

the same mistakes again.• Reduce tension by finding time for

some physical activity. Go for a brisk walk, play a hard game of tennis

with a friend, work in the garden, or clean the house.

• Reduce your stress level. Learn some stress manage-ment methods, such as re-laxation and deep-breath-ing exercises. Try to find ways of doing more of the things you enjoy.• Learn to meditate. When you are alone, practise withdrawing your thoughts from your day-to-day con-

cerns. This may make you more able to do the same

when you find yourself getting angry.

• Learn to laugh at yourself. If you can learn to see the silly side of

things, you can laugh instead of lashing out.

• Learn to trust the abilities of others. Some of your anger may be coming from a lack of faith in the

capabilities of other people.• Look for professional help. If your problems are serious, you may need the help of a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist or social worker. Your family doctor can help you find these professional people.• Talk to someone you trust (a family member, a close friend or a member of the clergy for your religion) who may be able to see things more clearly than you do.

Do You Need More Information?

If you or someone you know needs help in dealing with angry feelings, check your local bookstore and library for books on the subject. You can also contact a local community organization, such as Friends for Mental Health, to find out about counselling services and other resources available in your community.

Source : http://www.cmha.ca

Families working towards recovery Page 5

support groups, psychoeducational groups (information about mental illness and cop-ing strategies), and individual or family counseling. Support groups can act as a key component of social support for caregivers. They can help to reduce feelings of stigma and isola-tion, enhance coping skills, reduce burden, and allow for acknowledgment of the re-wards caregiving can bring (ex. fulfilling pa-rental duty, greater intimacy).

Research indicates that male caregivers are less likely to seek help and support. Fa-thers can also benefit from support group participation, especially when groups have an educational orientation and when their spouses participate.

Estate planning and establishing continuing care management can be helpful in reduc-ing some of the uncertainty and worries of-ten experienced by aging caregivers, though studies have found that many parents do not plan ahead. Caregivers may avoid plan-ning due to strong anxiety about the future or the belief that professionals will not be helpful with end-of-life decision-making. Continuing care management may include financial planning, finding alternative care-givers or community programs (ex. an ACT team or case manager), and/or residential placement. Ideally transitions to the care of others will occur gradually while parents

are still able to provide support in the pro-cess. Caregivers should not hesitate to seek out help and guidance from professionals working with their loved one, from other caregivers, or from research.

It is important to note that the challenges faced by caregivers represent a significant social problem. Families are commonly faced with having to make up for the gaps and inadequacies in the mental health care system. There is a great need for more for-mal support services and residential op-tions for people with a mental illness. Ex-isting community-based service providers are strained and faced with a continuous struggle to obtain the resources needed to provide an adequate level of formal care and services.

Kaela DesjardinsCounselor

References: - Ghosh, S., & Greenberg, J. (2009). Aging fathers of adult chil-dren with schizophrenia: the toll of care-giving on their mental and physical health. Psychiatric Services, 60, 982-984.- Goodman, H. (2004). Elderly parents of adults with severe mental illness: group work interventions. Journal of Geronto-logical Social Work, 44, 173-188.- Kaufman, A., Scogin, F., MacNeil, G., Leeper, J., & Wimberly, J. (2010). Helping aging parents of adult children with serious mental illness. Journal of Social Service Research, 36, 445–459.- Lefley, H., &, Hatfield, A. (1999). Helping parental caregivers and mental health consumers cope with parental aging and loss. Psychiatric Services, 50, 369-375.-http://www.phac-aspc.gc.ca/seniors-aines/scs-spaa-eng.php

Aging CaregiversFamily and friends provide about 80-90% of care to ill or disabled loved ones in the community. Adults with serious mental ill-ness often require social support and assis-tance from their parents over many years. The typical onset of mental illness occurs in late adolescence/early adulthood, at a time when many young people begin to live independently.

Parents have been required to assume a greater amount of care with legislation changes such as the shift from hospital to community care (deinstitutionalization). Hospital stays are also growing shorter, resulting in more vulnerable people in the community. Community mental health care has not ad-vanced to the extent initially promised and needed services such as housing, job train-ing, or social skills training are not widely available. Whether the ill person lives at home or separately from their family, par-ents and/or other family members may face many caregiving challenges.

Challenges include coping with problem behaviors, difficulty meeting the personal needs of other family members, not having adequate information about the person’s illness, coping with problems related to the person’s impaired ability to carry out daily living tasks, and lack of a respite from care-giving responsibilities.

Parents encounter stressors such as inter-actions with emergency services or police, involuntary commitment procedures, and difficulties locating alternative care in the community. Parents often experience ten-sion, anger, worry, confusion, guilt, shame, and frustration with encounters with men-tal health service providers. A unique worry of aging caregivers is that of what will hap-pen to their loved one when they are gone.Long-term and/or intense caregiving can negatively impact a caregiver’s health and well-being. This is especially true as parent caregivers get older, and are faced with the dual challenge of caregiver demands and the need to cope with their own aging. The stress experienced makes older caregivers especially vulnerable to physical illness and depression. General needs of caregivers include infor-mation about the nature, intervention, and management of the illness, skills to cope with problems related to the illness, and recognition and social support of their caregiving efforts. Available services that attempt to meet such needs include:

Caregivers: practical advice

Families working towards recovery

Douglas InstituteResearch ProjectInsight and SchizophreniaThe Douglas Institute is currently seeking participants for a re-search project on Schizophrenia and Insight. They wish to con-

duct a study to evaluate the factors that shape insight. They are looking for men and women, aged 18 to 50, with a diagnosis of schizophrenia or schizo-affective disorder. The research project consists of 3 visits at the Douglas Mental Health University Institute and participants will be com-pensated for their time in the research project.

For information, please call Karyne Anselmo, coordinator of the project, at 514-761-6131 ext. 3296.

Nominations forFrançoise Vien AwardThe Françoise Vien Award recognizes the contribution of an in-dividual or organization in the mental health field or other that advances the cause of families who have someone with a mental illness. Does that sound like someone you know?

If yes, then nominate them!The winner will be presented an award at our Annual General Meeting in June.

Mrs. Vien has founded or cofounded (all community organizations that still exist): Friends  for  Mental Health, Community Perspective in  Mental Health  , Services Intervention  Psycho-social  (SIPS)  -  Crisis Centre, The  Federation  of  Families  and Friends  of  the  people with  mental illness (FFAPAMM) and Équipe Entreprise.

Please submit your nominations before April 30th, 2013. You can download the from from our website www.asmfmh.org or contact us at (514) 636 6885.

2013

AwardFrançoise

Vien

Seeking out support

A caregiver must seek out help and support from:

• Family and friends• Health professionals• Day centres and community centres• Services that provide prepared meals• Family health support services• Family support services• Support groups• Support groups specifically for caregivers• Respite services• Transportation services• Private nursing care

It is important to be able to recognize the kind of support you need and then seek out that support.

−› Emotional Support: Moral support, friends, confidants etc.−› Material Support: Respite, domestic tasks, money etc.−› Support related to social activities: Leisure, visits etc.−› Information Support: Advice, training, suggestions etc.

Practical advice

Become an informed caregiverGet information about the illness, the different services available, the latest news and research etc. Determine the level of support required on a regular basis.Can the person safely carry out their daily activities? Adapt the support to the level of care required.

Give yourself free timeMaking time for yourself does not mean that you are selfish or that you are neglecting the person with the disease. On the contrary, doing this allows you to replenish your energy levels. By taking care of yourself, you are better able to take care of the other person.

Do not isolate yourself

Talk to your friends, other caregivers, or a neighbour. Accept the help of others.

Never neglect your physical or mental healthCaregivers can be forced to put off a doctor’s appointment be-cause no one is available to supervise or they are too tired to go. Determine your stress level and evaluate your own state of health. Your health is paramount. Take care of it.

Make sure you eat healthilyKeep yourself well hydrated. Take the time to eat.

Give yourself rest periodsGet enough sleep. If certain behaviours are preventing you from sleeping, talk to your doctor right away. Many community resourc-es, such as churches, volunteer groups or associations, offer su-pervision services. Some day centres provide interesting activities, respite which will give you some time.

Communicate efficientlyKeep your sentences simple, short and precise. Be patient when you communicate with the person; give him or her enough time to respond. Talk about the past, happy times etc. Use points of refer-ence like photos or music.

Maintain a stable and safe environmentAvoid moving furniture. Review the level of safety on a regular ba-sis: (locks on the doors, storage of medication and sharp objects etc.).

Keep a journalWrite down the questions that you would like to ask a health pro-fessional. Don’t be afraid to ask for help from a pharmacist, doctor, or the patient case manager etc.

Need help ?All requests must first go to the mental health team in your CSSS. You can also contact a crisis center. West Island (514) 684 6160.

Source : www.douglas.qc.ca

continued from page 1

Families working towards recovery Page 7

Become Friendof FriendsDid you know?Friends for Mental Health has a Facebook page!With a simple click, “like” our page and gain access to the informa-tion that we share daily.You will be informed of all the news, everything that is said on the world wide web regarding mentale health, and also everything that<s happening at Friends.Share topics you are interested in with your friends and feel free to write to us or add comments.You don’t have a Facebook account? You still can view our page by following this link:h t t p : / / w w w . f a c e b o o k . c o m / p a g e s / L e s - A m i s - d e -l a - s a n t % C 3 % A 9 - m e n t a l e - F r i e n d s - f o r - M e n t a l -Health/233613363330868

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Exprimezvous

Les Amis de la santé mentale / Friends for Mental Health http://www.facebook.com/pages/Les-Amis-de-la-santé-mentale-Friends-f...

1 of 6 20/11/2012 10:04 AM

Our website is getting a makeover!Come and visit us!

In order to better serve you, we are currently updating our website.You will find many new features such as a calendar of all our activities, useful information to answer your questions, many links to resources, the oppotunity to renew your membership online and of course all our publications.You can obtain the latest news automatically by subscribing to the RSS feed, download documentation, make a donation or browse directly towards another relevant sites, these are just some of the new features that will be very helpful to you.

Please don’t hesitate to log in on a regular basis to increase our visibility on the world wide web. The more visible we are, the more the cause of mental health will be the winner!

Beaconsfield High SchoolWellness FairWednesday, Novembre 28th, 2012

Macdonald High SchoolHealth Wellness FairFriday, February 15th, 2013

École secondaire des SourcesTuesday, February 19th, 2013

Productive meetings with the students that allowed us to in-troduce them our organization and raise their awareness about mental health. Most of them had never had the opportunity to dis-cuss this topic, event though they were concerned by a family mem-ber affected by a mental illness.We presented them all our services and they have clearly shown their interest in the support group on Skype, free and confidential.We are continuing our efforts and will make presentations in sev-eral other schools in the coming months in order to reach as many young people as possible.Congratulations to all, and keep talking!

Friends was there...

Annual Convention of Quebec Provincial Association of TeachersNovember, 23rd and 24th, at Palais des Congrès de Montréal.

It was a great opportunity to introduce our organization to teachers and other professionals in schools, talk with them about mental health and to present our services, in particular our new support group for youth on Skype.Increasingly informed of mental illness issues (especially due to the stigma), these professionals can better cope with the major challenges they are facing and better know the resources at their disposal to help young people.A taboo subject in this age range, youth are even more affected by the illness of their loved one and they don’t dare to speak about it. Just by letting them know about this new support group is a giant step towards their well-being.

Families working towards recovery

Our friendly waiting room

Nominations for the Board of DirectorsFriends is in need of volunteers to occupy positions on the Board of Directors, an essential element to any organization. This is a great opportunity to represent your association.

MembershiprenewalAs you know, April is now the month of your membership renewal.

This can be done either by:- filling out the usual form that you will shortly receive (by mail or email) and return it with your paymentor- using the online form under the tab ‘‘Member’’ of our website (http://www.asmfmh.org) and make your payment through PayPal or by check

Thank you to Stéphane of Vau-dreuil for having generously given this coffee table that has perfectly found its place in our waiting area and thus provides a cozy and warm atmosphere.

► New in 2013 you can pay by PayPal directly

from our website*

Thank you Zhubin

Foundation

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Thank you to our donors!We would like to thank these organizations and foundations for their support this past quarter:Gustav Levinschi Foundation, Catholic Women’s League, Corporation Presse Commerce, Borough of Pierrefonds-Roxboro, Lakeshore As-sociation of Artists, Voices for Hope Choir, Pointe Claire Oldtimers HockeyClub, MNA for Robert-Baldwin Pierre Mason, Beaurepaire United Church

Last January 19th and 20th, the Choir Voices for Hope has delighted its numerous audi-ence at the benefit concert held at Cedar Park United Church.

Congratulations for this wonderful performance and thank you for the generous donation of $2,125. We take this opportunity to express our warmest thanks to Douglas Knight, choir director. This priceless support enables us to continue to provide our services to the West Island community affected by the mental illness of their loved one. Thank you again!

Through darkness comes light.Through fear comes hope.

A group of friends have come together once again to organize the Punk Rawk Princess Ben e fit Concert which

supports Friends For Mental Health.The event began after the tragic loss of some one very

dear to them in order to encour age an increase aware ness and accep tance of men tal ill ness.

Friday, April 5th, 2013at Sala Rossa

4848 Boulevard Saint-Laurent, Montréal, H2T 1R5Doors open at 8:30 p.m.

Let’s honour the memory of those we’ve lost byshowing them what we can accomplish together.

Tickets 15$ Reservation (514) 636-6885

Information www.prpbenefit.ca

BROADWAY POPS CINÉMA

Voices for Hope

Community Choir • La chorale communautaire des

Voix de l’espoir

choir director Douglas Knight chef de chœur

Sat, Jan 19, 3:00 pm Sun, Jan 20, 3:00 pm Tickets: $15

Proceeds to assist

Sam, le 19 jan, 15h Dim, le 20 jan, 15h

Billets: 15$

Les bénéfices iront au

Information/Tickets 514-697-2053 / 514-630-0331 Renseignements/Billets

204 Lakeview, Pte-Claire • www.cedarparkunited.org

West Island l’ouest de l’île

Friends for Mental Health Les Amis de la santé mentale

West Island Citizen Advocacy Parrainage Civique de la Banlieue Ouest

* service available in April

We gratefully acknowledge the Zhubin Foundation for its generous

donation of $ 10,000.Its constant support helps many families

working towards recovery.