Managing Life’s Transitions:Personal –Relationships– SocietalEducation – Work – Military

By: Kathleen E. High, M.Ed.Adjunct Counselor,Cypress College

Figure 1: Man trying to decide which of two directions to take

Transitions Model1

• Understanding Transitions:• Anticipated: Graduation, marriage, parenthood, start a job• Unanticipated: Accident, layoff, untimely death of loved one• Nonevent: Not married, remaining childless, don’t retire

• 4 Ss System for Coping with Transitions:• Situation: Situation at time of transition will affect response• Self: Your inner strength for coping with the transitions• Supports: The support available is critical to your well-being• Strategies: Strategies used to change the situation

1 Schlossberg, N. K. (2011). The challenge of change: The transition model and its applications

Transitions Defined2:• Endings

Triggering event, then the loss of the old life:• Disengagement• Disidentification• Disenchantment• Disorientation

• Neutral Zones The old life has ended, and the new life has not yet begun

• New BeginningsIt is a Process - not a “To Do List”. “Signs” are generally not available

• Listening to the “inner voice” for patterns and new opportunities• Launching a new set of priorities, ideas, and goals

2Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books.

New Beginnings Reflection:• To help you understand how this process

works:• Think back on a significant

• new beginning you had in your past:

What were the “steps” you took to begin?

Many Types of Transitions:• Personal• Child to adult• Dependent to independent• Caregiver to “empty nest”• Able-bodied to disabled• Incarcerated to parolee/free• Addicted to Sober• Spirituality (change beliefs or religion)• Home: (apartment to homeowner, etc.)• Personal technology (phones, TV, computers,

etc.)• Physical (puberty, menopause, aging, etc.)

• Family & Other Relationships• Single to married (or otherwise committed)• Married to single• Childless to parent• Independent to caregiver (or the reverse)• Death (or separation from) a loved one

Societal• A Changing World• Native to immigrant• Groups – majority to minority, etc.• Spiritual – place of worship• Move to a new community

Education• High school to college• Community college to university• College student to graduate• Student to employee• Employee to student

Career• New assignments, bosses, etc. • Employee to manager• Employed to unemployed• Unemployed to employed• Employee to retired

Military• Civilian to soldier• Soldier to veteran

More Than One Transition?• Q: Is it possible to experience more than one

transition at a time?• A1: Yes. You can experience several

simultaneous or serial transitions at any time.• A2: Some transitions may trigger others -• Example: • Loss of job can also trigger:• New student, family status changes, and Veteran (if job was military), etc.

Identify Your Personal Transitions• TYPE of transitions are you dealing with right now?• Personal, Relationships, Societal, Education, Career, Military• ASSESS your transition(s)? • Is your transition: Anticipated, Unanticipated, or Nonevent?• PHASE of the process• Where are you in the process? • Endings, Neutral Zone, New Beginnings

How Transitions Affect You –Emotionally:• Mental• Emotional• Grief3: • Denial, Anger, Bargaining,

Depression, Acceptance

• Resistance• Reminiscing • Regret

• Spiritual• Political• Perception of Reality• Values• Sense of Identity• Personality

3Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Touchstone.

How Transitions Affect You – In Other Ways As Well - • Physical• Level of “Productivity”• Relationships• Authority• Roles• The “Rules”• Expectations • Priorities• Behavior/Interaction Style• Communication• Financial• Legal

3Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York: Touchstone.

How to Manage Transitions4

• Embrace “Neutral Zones” as a productive “reorientation” process:

• Surrender to the process instead of trying to avoid or fight it

• Find time and place to be alone• Log “neutral zone” experiences• Write your autobiography • Discover what you really want• Imagine what would be unlived if you died today• Take a short “right of passage” retreat

4 Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books.

How are Your Transitions Affecting You?

• Reflect on your transitions:•What challenges are you dealing with?• Emotional: Mental, Emotional Grief, Resistance,

Reminiscing, Regret, Spiritual Perspective, Political Perspective, Personality, Sense of Identity, Sense of Reality, and Values• Other Ways: Physical, Level of Productivity, Authority, Roles,

Rules, Expectations, Priorities, Financial and Legal• Should you prioritize them?

Managing the Effects of Transitions• “Neutral Zone” is not the end of the world• Learn the “New Rules”• Envision “New Beginnings”• Embrace this as an opportunity for pursuing your dreams and goals• Develop a support system:• Family, friends, support groups, place of worship, resource centers, etc.• Seek professional help if necessary:• Mental health counselors• Career Counselors• Other “professional skilled helpers” (clergy, lawyer, parole officer, VA officer,

drug/alcohol counselor, etc.)• Utilize available resources:• Your personal support system, printed/on-line materials, books, support

groups, resource centers, professional help, place of worship, etc. • Find a mentor (Someone who has gone through your transition before)

Utilize Resources• Off Campus Resource Centers• Local One-Stop Centers (Employment)• VA Office• VFW – Veterans of Foreign Wars• 12-Step programs (AA, Alanon, etc.)• Employer’s Human Resources Dept.• Check these institutions for potential

resource centers:• City, County, and State Governments• Non-profits organizations (legal, etc.)• Local houses of worship

• Books• Transitions• On Death and Dying

• On-Campus Resource Centers• Career Planning Center• Transfer Center• Veterans Center• Disabled Students Programs &

Services• Financial Aid• Student Health Center• EOPS/CARE/CAL-WORKS• Special Interest Student Clubs

• Handouts• Discerning Seasons• Paradigm Shifts• Hidden Rules• Setting Effective Goals

Wrap Up

• RESOURCES: What resources can help you?• Books, handouts, counselors, support groups, etc. • Do you have mentors / professionals / skilled helpers

who can help you manage the process?• If not, where can you find one?• What is your next step?

References• Bridges, W. (1980). Transitions. Cambridge, MA: Perseus

Books.• Kubler-Ross, E. (1997). On death and dying. New York:

Touchstone.• Schlossberg, N. K. (2011). The challenge of change: The

transition model and its applications. Journal of Employment Counseling, 159-166.