make getting feedback less stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · stress...
TRANSCRIPT
![Page 1: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/1.jpg)
Make Getting Feedback Less Stressful
Featuring Ed Batista, an executive coach, an instructor at the
Stanford Graduate School of Business, and blogger on
www.HBR.com
FEBRUARY 26, 2015Sponsored by
![Page 2: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/2.jpg)
Questions?
OCTOBER 17, 2012
To ask a question … click on the “question icon” in the lower-right corner of your screen.
![Page 3: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/3.jpg)
Presentation Download Link
OCTOBER 17, 2012
Click on the double links icon here to download the presentation materials.
![Page 4: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/4.jpg)
Follow the Conversation on Twitter
Use #HBRwebinar
@HBRExchange
FEBRUARY 26, 2015
![Page 5: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/5.jpg)
Today’s Speaker
Ed Batista, an executive coach, an instructor
at the Stanford Graduate School of
Business, and blogger on www.HBR.com
Make Getting Feedback Less Stressful
FEBRUARY 26, 2015
@HBRExchange | #HBRwebinar
![Page 6: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/6.jpg)
Make Getting Feedback Less Stressful
FEBRUARY 26, 2015
HBR Guide to Coaching Employees
Succeed as a manager by learning how to
coach your employees.
- Create realistic plans for growth
- Provide feedback they’ll actually apply
- Give them room to grow
![Page 7: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/7.jpg)
Making Feedback
Ed Batista, February 26, 2015
Less Stressful
Photo by Ana Karenina [link]
![Page 8: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/8.jpg)
Photo: Seth Anderson
Who am I?
Executive coach
Instructor @ Stanford GSB
Write @ HBR.org & edbatista.com
HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
![Page 9: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/9.jpg)
Photo: Seth Anderson
Why feedbackmatters to me
Touchy Feely
Changed my view of myself
Impact on my clients & students
![Page 10: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/10.jpg)
Photo: Seth Anderson
Why I believe itmatters to you
Soft skills are hard
Leadership is evolving
Feedback = The most efficient way to improve
![Page 12: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/12.jpg)
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]
Agenda
The headline
Emotion
Social threat
Feedback-rich culture
Questions
![Page 14: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/14.jpg)
The headline
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
Feedback is stressful
So critique with skill…
Express more appreciation…
& build it into your culture
![Page 15: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/15.jpg)
The simplest
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feedback model
![Page 16: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/16.jpg)
The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
1st key: Specify behavior [X]
Clarifies what we’re talking about
feedback model
![Page 17: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/17.jpg)
The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
2nd key: Specify emotion [Y]
Creates interest & influences future behavior
feedback model
![Page 18: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/18.jpg)
The simplest
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback model
![Page 20: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/20.jpg)
Emotion
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Antonio Damasio, USC
What purpose do emotions serve?
What role do they play in reasoning?
![Page 21: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/21.jpg)
Emotion
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Emotions evolved to support survival
Uncontrolled emotion & bias can lead us astray*
But emotion is integral to reasoning
Essential for efficient decision-making
![Page 22: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/22.jpg)
Emotion
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Victor Johnston, New Mexico State
“Discriminant hedonic amplifiers”
![Page 23: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/23.jpg)
Emotion
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Victor Johnston, New Mexico State
“Discriminant hedonic amplifiers”
Boost signals in our mental landscape
Emotions = Attention magnets
![Page 24: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/24.jpg)
Emotion
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
Joseph LeDoux, NYU
“A quick and dirty signal”
Neural pathways 2x
But speed has a price
![Page 26: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/26.jpg)
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
Emotion
Rapid triggering
Reflexive responses
Sensing ≠ Comprehension
![Page 27: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/27.jpg)
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
Emotion
Display rules
“Don’t be so emotional.”
Disclosing feelings Vulnerable
Emotion management is key
![Page 28: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/28.jpg)
Emotion
Photo by Tania Cataldo [link]
management
![Page 29: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/29.jpg)
Emotion
Not “suppression”
Reframing
Self-soothing
Talking about feelings
management
![Page 31: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/31.jpg)
Reframing
“Cognitive reappraisal”
James Gross & Rebecca Ray, Stanford
Kevin Ochsner, Columbia
How do our thoughts influence our experience?
![Page 32: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/32.jpg)
Reframing
The meanings we assign Emotional response
Re-interpret a situation Manage our emotions
![Page 33: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/33.jpg)
Self-soothing
Photo by Amanda Patsopoulou [link]
![Page 34: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/34.jpg)
Self-soothing
“Physiological modification”
Active steps to change our emotional state
![Page 35: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/35.jpg)
Self-soothing
“Response modification”
Active choice in how we express emotion
![Page 36: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/36.jpg)
Self-soothing
Deeper, slower breaths
Speak more slowly & monitor tone
Sense our non-verbals & body language
Shift focus of our attention
![Page 37: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/37.jpg)
Talking about
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feelings
![Page 38: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/38.jpg)
Talking about
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feelings“Affect labeling”
Amygdala
Talking disrupts negative emotion
Talking about emotion > Thinking about emotion
![Page 40: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/40.jpg)
Stress & learning
Photo by Sara V. [link]
Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908)
Arousal improves performance up to a point
Some stress increases learning
Too much stress stifles learning
![Page 41: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/41.jpg)
Stress & learning
Stress
Learning
![Page 42: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/42.jpg)
Stress & learning
Hans Selye, Université de Montréal
Eustress & Distress
![Page 43: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/43.jpg)
Stress & learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
![Page 44: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/44.jpg)
Stress & learning
Judy Willis
Teachers limit stress Students learn more
![Page 45: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/45.jpg)
Stress & learning
Stress
Learning
Eustress Distress
Critical to avoid the tipping point
![Page 47: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/47.jpg)
To review
Emotion
Integral to reasoning
Attracts attention
Exerts influence
A critical element in feedback
![Page 48: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/48.jpg)
To review
Emotion also…
Fast-moving & hard to control
Distress stifles learning
Management practices are key
![Page 50: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/50.jpg)
6 of the scariestwords in the
English language
![Page 51: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/51.jpg)
Can I give you
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
some feedback?
![Page 52: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/52.jpg)
Why is feedback
Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link]
so stressful?
![Page 53: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/53.jpg)
Feedback and
Photo by Mykl Roventine [link]
social threat
![Page 55: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/55.jpg)
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response
“Fight, flight or freeze”
![Page 56: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/56.jpg)
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response
Physiological
Adrenaline & cortisol
Heart rate, blood pressure, respiration
Optimized for strength & speed
![Page 57: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/57.jpg)
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response
Emotional
Anger & aggression
Fear & anxiety
Primed for snap judgments
![Page 58: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/58.jpg)
Photo by State Farm [link]
Threat response
Cognitive
Negativity bias
Impairment & diminished capacity
Decision-making, problem-solving, collaboration
![Page 60: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/60.jpg)
Social threat
Photo by David Sim [link]
Some social situations ≈ Physical threats
Identical responses
Physiological
Emotional
Cognitive
![Page 62: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/62.jpg)
SCARF model
David Rock, NeuroLeadership Institute
What social situations trigger a threat response?
![Page 63: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/63.jpg)
SCARF modelStatus
Photo by the National Guard [link]
![Page 64: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/64.jpg)
SCARF modelStatus
Certainty
Photo by Amy Ashcraft [link]
![Page 65: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/65.jpg)
SCARF modelStatus
Certainty
Autonomy
Photo by Charles Hoffman [link]
![Page 66: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/66.jpg)
SCARF modelStatus
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Photo by Don-Pixel [link]
![Page 67: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/67.jpg)
SCARF modelStatus
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Fairness
Photo by JMTImages [link]
![Page 68: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/68.jpg)
SCARF modelStatus
Certainty
Autonomy
Relatedness
Fairness
![Page 70: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/70.jpg)
When getting
Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
feedback
![Page 71: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/71.jpg)
When gettingfeedback
(Reframe the experience)
![Page 72: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/72.jpg)
Offering feedback ≠ Higher status
Emphasize choice & agency
Remember the relationship*
Manage defensiveness*
When gettingfeedback
![Page 73: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/73.jpg)
When getting
Feeling threatened ≠ There’s an actual threat
feedback
![Page 74: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/74.jpg)
When gettingfeedback
(Self-soothe)
![Page 75: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/75.jpg)
When getting
Cultivate in-the-moment awareness
Notice & arrest our threat response
Slow things down
feedback
![Page 76: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/76.jpg)
When gettingfeedback
(Talk about feelings)
![Page 77: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/77.jpg)
When getting
Feedback should be a dialogue
Share feelings in the moment
Manage threat response
feedback
![Page 78: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/78.jpg)
Photo by Garry Knight [link]
When givingfeedback
![Page 79: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/79.jpg)
When giving
(Lower the risk of threat response)
feedback
![Page 80: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/80.jpg)
When giving
Be mindful of status
Minimize uncertainty
Maximize autonomy
Build the relationship
feedback
![Page 82: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/82.jpg)
Relationships
John Gottman, University of Washington
What characterizes successful relationships?
![Page 83: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/83.jpg)
Relationships
Feeling known by the other
A culture of appreciation
Responding to “bids”
Mutual influence
A soft start*
![Page 84: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/84.jpg)
When giving
Photo by Phil McElhinney [link]
Not like this
feedback
![Page 85: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/85.jpg)
When giving
Photo by Oakley Originals [link]
feedback
Like this
![Page 86: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/86.jpg)
Begin with authentic positive intent
Emphasize mutual goals
Manage stress levels
Minimize risk of threat response
When givingfeedback
![Page 87: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/87.jpg)
Photo by Connor Tartar [link]
Relationships& conflict
![Page 88: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/88.jpg)
5:1 positive to negative interactions
Over time, not in every conversation
“Emotional bank account”
Relationships& conflict
![Page 89: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/89.jpg)
Relationships
Requires investment in advance
![Page 90: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/90.jpg)
Relationships
Requires investment in advance
Can’t “switch on” when needed
![Page 91: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/91.jpg)
Relationships
Goal isn’t just “warm fuzzies”
Strong relationships Feedback is less stressful
![Page 92: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/92.jpg)
Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]
Defensiveness
![Page 93: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/93.jpg)
Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]
Defensiveness
Specific form of threat response
Generated by perceptions of unfairness
We feel misunderstood and want to explain
![Page 94: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/94.jpg)
Photo by Roger Alcantara [link]
Defensiveness
It’s useful data (Sign of significance)
But threat response Cognitive impairment
When triggered, we can’t take in feedback
![Page 95: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/95.jpg)
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
![Page 96: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/96.jpg)
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
David Bradford, Stanford
How to increase perceptions of fairness?
How to minimize defensiveness?
![Page 97: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/97.jpg)
The net
Me You
Your
response
My
behavior
My
intention
![Page 98: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/98.jpg)
What I know
Me
My
intention
My
behavior
![Page 99: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/99.jpg)
What I don’t
You
Your
response
![Page 100: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/100.jpg)
What you know
You
Your
response
My
behavior
![Page 101: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/101.jpg)
Me
What you don’t
My
intention
![Page 102: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/102.jpg)
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
Use the model
![Page 103: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/103.jpg)
When getting
Photo by Francesco [link]
feedback
![Page 104: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/104.jpg)
When getting
(Reframe the experience)
feedback
![Page 105: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/105.jpg)
When getting
They will cross the net
Impact ≠ Intent
Our defensiveness wasn’t their intention
feedback
![Page 106: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/106.jpg)
When getting
(Self-soothe)
feedback
![Page 107: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/107.jpg)
When getting
How do I respond when I feel unfairly accused?
Down-regulate our emotions
Slow things down
feedback
![Page 108: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/108.jpg)
When getting
(Talk about feelings)
feedback
![Page 109: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/109.jpg)
When getting
“I feel a little defensive.”
Or embarrassed or ashamed
Very difficult & very effective
feedback
![Page 111: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/111.jpg)
When giving
(Minimize the risk of threat response)
feedback
![Page 112: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/112.jpg)
When giving
Avoid crossing the net
Focus on what you know
(Observed behavior & your response)
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
feedback
![Page 113: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/113.jpg)
When giving
Remember that you will cross the net
Intent ≠ Impact
Intentions don’t guarantee desired impact
feedback
![Page 114: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/114.jpg)
When giving
Disclose your intention
Down-regulate their emotions
feedback
![Page 116: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/116.jpg)
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
To review
Minimize social threat
The SCARF model & the net
Reframe, self-soothe, talk about feelings
Build the relationship
Manage defensiveness
![Page 117: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/117.jpg)
Feedback-rich
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
culture
![Page 118: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/118.jpg)
Feedback-rich
Social threat Many times/day
Most commonly at work
Individual skills reduce social threat
Culture plays a huge role
culture
![Page 119: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/119.jpg)
Feedback-richculture
Individual skills ≈ Genes
Environment determines their expression
Skills are necessary but insufficient on their own
Ability to deploy skills is culture-dependent
![Page 120: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/120.jpg)
Feedback-richculture
(Components)
![Page 121: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/121.jpg)
Feedback-richculture
Safety, trust & intimacy
Balance
Normalcy
Accountability
![Page 122: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/122.jpg)
Safety, trust,
Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link]
intimacy
![Page 123: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/123.jpg)
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Abraham Maslow
What motivates us as human beings?
![Page 124: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/124.jpg)
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Physiological
Safety
Love & belonging
Esteem
Self-actualization
![Page 125: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/125.jpg)
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Parallels in working groups,
relationships &
organizations…
![Page 126: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/126.jpg)
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Experiments, risk-taking &
vulnerability
Learning, self-
awareness & change
Parallels in working groups,
relationships &
organizations…
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
![Page 127: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/127.jpg)
Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
THE FOUNDATION
![Page 128: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/128.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy
![Page 129: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/129.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy
Safety = I won’t get hurt.
Trust = I believe you & you believe me.
Intimacy = We can make the private public.
![Page 130: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/130.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Safety
It’s OK to be vulnerable.
I’m open to criticism.
We can discuss emotional topics without fear.
![Page 131: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/131.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Trust
![Page 132: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/132.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Trust
I believe in your good intentions.
I know negative feedback is intended to help.
I accept positive feedback as genuine.
![Page 133: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/133.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Intimacy
I can tell you how I feel about you.
We can invite another person into the discussion.
We can have this discussion with the whole team.
![Page 134: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/134.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Practical steps
Get to know each other
Invest in relationships
Build “emotional bank accounts”
![Page 135: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/135.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Practical steps
Talk about emotions
Expand your comfort zone
Modify display rules
![Page 136: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/136.jpg)
Safety, trust,intimacy & feedback
Practical steps
Make it OK to say “No”
Or at least “Not now”
Minimize threat response
![Page 137: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/137.jpg)
Balance
![Page 139: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/139.jpg)
Positive feedback
A paradox
So important
So often ineffective
What’s wrong?
![Page 140: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/140.jpg)
Positive feedback
Lack of trust
We often praise the wrong things
![Page 141: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/141.jpg)
Positive feedback
Often unsaid (Display rules)
We don’t practice We never improve
Balance over time is key
![Page 142: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/142.jpg)
Positive feedback
Practical steps
Start small
Acknowledge & appreciate
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
![Page 143: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/143.jpg)
Positive feedback
Practical steps
Praise effort & persistence
Not innate abilities
Builds resilience & determination
![Page 144: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/144.jpg)
Positive feedback
Practical steps
Offer some positive feedback…and stop
Don’t praise to buffer criticism
Use a soft start instead
![Page 146: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/146.jpg)
Normalcy
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
Make feedback normal
Not a performance review
Leaders = Role models
![Page 147: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/147.jpg)
Normalcy
Photo by Marc Dalmulder [link]
Practical steps
Don’t wait for special occasions
Work in public (riskier, more trust & intimacy)
![Page 148: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/148.jpg)
Accountability
Photo by Hector Alejandro [link]
![Page 149: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/149.jpg)
Accountability
Walking the talk
Leaders’ behavior is key
![Page 150: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/150.jpg)
Accountability
Practical steps
Be transparent
Ask for feedback
(Subordinates won’t volunteer it)
![Page 152: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/152.jpg)
Questions?
OCTOBER 17, 2012
To ask a question … click on the “question icon” in the lower-right corner of your screen.
@HBRExchange | #HBRwebinar
![Page 153: Make Getting Feedback Less Stressfulkrm.vo.llnwd.net/o43/u/hbs0011408/22288/222881.pdf · Stress & learning Photo by Sara V. [link] Yerkes-Dodson Law (Harvard, 1908) Arousal improves](https://reader035.vdocuments.us/reader035/viewer/2022063010/5fc34e924414e733da7cda97/html5/thumbnails/153.jpg)
Thank you for joining us!
This webinar was made possible by the support of Citrix GoToMeeting.
Sponsored byFEBRUARY 26, 2015