mahm newsletter spring 2014

8/12/2019 MAHM Newsletter Spring 2014

1/7The newsletter of Mothers at Home Matter, PO Box 43690, London SE22 9WN

Spring2014

Letter from the Editor

Iused to think I was a nice

person until I became aparent. I love that quote froma friend of a friend on thetopic of how cross our much-loved children often make us.However, I have been muchencouraged by research showing thatmy occasional descent into shoutingis actually not a bad thing or mychildren.

I was sent a research documentby Paula Cohen on how ar varyingorms o early childcare may link todeviant behaviour in later lie. Oneo the prison officers she interviewed,commenting on the act that manyoffenders lack the ability to empathisewith others, praises the realities ohome lie compared to the unrealisticworld o the nursery where adultsnever lose their temper and a doornever slams.

Phew! By demonstrating the actthat I have been totally wound up, I

am actually allowing my children toobserve the effects o their behaviouron another human.

For mothers (and athers) at homeull time, much as we love beingwith our children (most o thetime), it is always encouragingto be reminded o the value oour role, so I hope you enjoythe articles summarising thelatest research on the value omotherhood presented by our

AGM speakers. In addition, thearticle on mothers vs nurseriespoints to the act that a nursery-carecan never replace mother-care, andthat babies and toddlers need as

Claire Paye, Editor

much mother-care as possible.Im araid the

explanation o thefinancial penalty on singleincome amilies does not make orencouraging reading, but I hope thatyou will take some comort rom ourexplanation o what Mothers at HomeMatter is doing to lobby or amiliesto be able to choose to have a parentat home or more hours in the weekrather than ewer.

Above all, I hope that thisnewsletter confirms the value to you

o being a member o Mothers atHome Matter and affirms you in theinvaluable role you play in givingyour children the best uture possible.

In addition, welcome to the parentsworking hard outside the home toensure their children have a parent athome. I hope this newsletter affirmsyou as well in the value o the lie youare providing or your amily.

Welcome to the Mothers at Home Matter Newsletter

Two year olds attendingschool.School days from 8am to6pm.Families with a parentat home full time payingsignigicantly more tax thanfamilies with both parentsworking.Professional childcare seenas an essential service.These are the Government proposalsand policies that Mothers at Home

Matter are lobbying to change. TheGovernment seems obsessed withgetting babies and children out ofthe way so their mothers can focuson the much more important job, inthe Governments eyes, of working.Mothers at home are simply seen asinactive economic units.

Mothers at Home Matter doesntjust campaign to make it financiallyand culturally easier for families tobe able to choose to have a motheror father at home full time, we also

seek to encourage our members, byaffirming the vital role that mothers,in particular, play in the lives of theirchildren.

We dont believe that mothers areoptional extras in their childrenslives, easily replaced by childcareworkers. We believe that mothers

have an enormous impacton their childrens

happiness, andthe more time

motherscan spendwith theirchildren,thebetter.


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MAHM AGM - Talks from the AGM October 2013

This has been year of

establishing closerinks with other

movements.

We were delightedto welcome Anne-Claire de Liederkerke rom MakeMothers Matter Europeto our AGM.d like to mention What About the

Children?(WACh?) or highlightinghe emotional needs o under threes.

Our thanks also to CAREwho publishhought-provoking reports on howamilies are in the UK tax system andhe Save Childhood Movementorxploring ways o tackling the current

rosion o childhood. Also, HomeRenaissance Foundationsswork tohighlight the importance o home.

Regular contact with experts in theirfield enables us to keep our finger onhe pulse in social research, taxationystems or child development. It wouldtherwise be impossible to keep up

with the never-ending stream o policynitiatives, particularly as childcare is a

key ocus across the political divide andonsidered a vote-winner by all parties,ut surveys consistently show amilies

want more amily time, not less. Parentswould also vote or airer amily taxationnd other solutions to the rising cost oiving and housing.

Sadly, or most policymakers earlyears equates to school-readinesshrough extending registered childcare,emale participation in employmentnd pushing the engine o growth.ts never about valuing the amily liehildren need to thrive and be happy.

ts disheartening. However, the benefits working with other groups meanswe can occasionally find respite andtep into a world where people speak ahild-ocussed language: the importance love and care, balance, amily- time,ttachment, good relationships and well-upported communities. Recognisinghat, or healthy development, children

need a playul and natural childhoodnd growth without measurement. Itsbout building shared memories thattrengthen bonds.

Many individuals have come orwardwith offers o support or time. Ti s isn no small measure thanks to MIPPR

whove helped get our ideas into thepublic domain, enabling us to reach out

to individuals - mainly mothers, butalso athers, grandparents or anyonespends time prioritising care. Aslong as care responsibilities and

unpaid work remains under-valued,invisible and ignored in policy, then ourwork is ar rom done.

Special appreciation or our AGMspeakers Dr Aric Sigman and SallyGoddard Blythe . Id also like to thankthe volunteer committee or theirdedication and or all the hours theyput in. And o course our members,or bringing a rich and diverse rangeo perspectives and experiences to thecampaign, because motherhood isuniversal.

First love, first movesSally GoddardBlythes professionalexpertise lies inchildrens neuro-motordevelopment and howphysical development inthe early years supportscognitive functioning andbehaviour.

he childs first love is its mother. Ithas an unquestioning love or itsparents, which has an effect on a childsemotional development and ability toregulate its own emotions. Were theonly mammal that deliberately separatesits young beore it is able to end oritsel. Te first nine months o a babyslie should be seen as the second hal ogestation.

Humans are born at a very immaturestage. Te mother is the babys auxiliarycortex. She serves as an external

regulator o the neurochemistry o theinants maturing brain.

As the babys brain develops, neuronsmigrate to target addresses in the brain.However, i the baby suffers trauma, suchas separation rom the mother, theseneurons could go to the wrong address,affecting development o the babysbrain.

Oxytocin, the bonding hormonewhich helps us to share our emotions,is increased in social situations such asmealtimes and sharing o activities andtime together. Breast eeding is naturesown pharmacy. It contains antibodieswhich are tailor-made or the baby andits immediate environment, provided

potentiallyproound publichealth implications.

Separation frommothers can change a persons ability tocope with the worldOne study o whole genome DNAmethylation in institutionalised children

vs children raised by their biologica lparents showed that 89% o the 914 sitesshowed an increased methylation inchildren rom the institutionalisedgroup, including in a number o crucialgenes, such as social behaviour, anxiety,depression, pain perception and sleep.In other words, at the extreme end,children who are totally separated romtheir parents show changes in their DNAmake up, affecting their experience osocial groups, emotions, pain and abilityto sleep.

Mothers are unique in affecting theirchilds oxytocin levelsOxytocin increases willingness to shareones emotions socially. It is a bondinghormone and increases the depth ocommunication. O xytocin improves themind reading ability in humans.

Neuropsycopharmocology 2013concluded parental oxytocin and earlycaregiving jointly shape childrensoxytocin response and social reciprocity.Mothers oxytocin levels predictedchilds oxytocin levels. Early paternalcare made no difference. Its affected bybreasteeding, brain activation to owninants cry and the level o maternalsensitivity.

Te mothers voice helps her foetussbrain developTe medical journal Acta Paediatrica

reports on the relationship inutero.Language experienced in utero affects

vowel perception afer birth. Brainchanges happen in the womb as a resulto listening to the mothers voice in thewomb.

Babies are always a part of theirmothersMothers love the smell o new borns.It makes mothers eel good becauseit activates the neurological rewardcircuit, which is the same as that whichis activated by drugs. It has recentlybeen discovered that etal cells actuallybecome embedded in the mothers brainand cells rom the mother are embeddedin her baby.

that the mother and baby share the sameenvironment eg baby eeds directly romthe mother, not just expressed milk.Breastmilk adapts to any other ood thechild may receive, so it reduces naturallyduring weaning, which is not the sameor ormula milk.

Eye contact with the mother isessential or babies and mothers gettingto know each other. Babies communicateinitially through movement: its ababys first language. Its importantto spend time together to learn thebabys language and so help the babyto communicate. Proessor Colwynrevarthen demonstrated that the baby

has to have time to process what

is said to it or else it willgive up and not try to

communicate back.Babies learn language

through their mothereven rom beorebirth. Te emalebody is shaped like a

cello, a sounding boardo vocal vibrations beore

birth. Babies pick up onvowels, which are the musical part

o language. Babies will imitate thephrasing and musicality o their parents

voices.Fathers bring out a different range

o skills. Rough and tumble exercisesaffect the neurological circuitry involvedin emotional regulation and impulsecontrol. Fathers introduce children todifferent attitudes to risk taking.

At nursery children under twoexperience elevated levels o cortisol.Teir cognitive skills may be better buttheir emotional development is worse.Tis levels out afer the age o three,when children are able to communicate

verbally and can verbalise theiremotions. Younger than that, they canonly demonstrate their emotions throughbehaviour. Be haviour is language.

Te importance o one to oneinteraction outweighs the value o beingin a group. At nine months a childbecomes securely attached to its primarycare giver. Mothers should spend at leastthe first two years and up to three athome with their children.

Sally also commented on theimportance o physical development interms o accessing learning. Matu rationis the product o physical development.

We learn to move as a baby. We thenmove to learn eg using building blocks,abacuses. Postural control providesgravitational security and the basisor eye movements. Our dreams areinternalised movement.

Children need to be physically readywhen they start school. Te rightpostural development at the appropriatetime is vital. Children need to have astable sitting point to maintain theirattention and concentration.

Sally is seeing more children withSymmetrical onic Neck Reflex. Tereare physical tests which Sally carries outto assess school readiness. A three anda hal to our year old should be able to

stand on one leg or eight seconds. A fiveyear old should be able to carry out fingerand thumb opposition in just one hand ata time. A our year old should be able tocross the midline ie pass an object romone side o their body to the other side,not just in the middle.

Tere is a change in our child rearingpractices which is causing posturalproblems. We need to let children haveample time or ree movement, play andexploration.

Tere needs to be parental availabilityand social engagement or the firsttwo years. Conversations with parentsinclude listening and reflecting. Screentime doesnt count in developmentalterms, because its not a spontaneousreaction. Children need their parents totell them stories, read to them and singsongs and nursery rhymes.Sallys suggestions are:1 Value the role o motherhood andparenting.2. Te biological needs o the childshould lead the debate about childcare,taxation and education.3. Greater flexibility or women to be athome or at least two years.4. Te importance o training orteachers and teenagers.5. Te improved education o the generalpublic o what children need in the earlyyears to develop.

So mothers at home arentspecial?Dr Aric Sigman delivered a veryentertaining talk in which heoutlined several ways in whichmothers are unique and can not bereplaced by anyone else. This talk

generated many media columns onthe topic of motherism.

he uniqueness of mothersFollowing the publication o abiology paper entitled Mother Superior,which suggested that a mother mightbe better or her own children thanan institution, Aric was subjected to adegree o attack. He discovered that itis very controversial to suggest that amother is special and that the debate isalways hijacked to ocus on the costs odaycare.

However, society should be able toprove that they can replace what mothersare doing. We as a society have moved

on, but childrens needs will not moveon. Although it appears sel-evident tosay that there are some benefits to thebiological mother raising her children,he ound that he always had to offerevidence or this.

Just as the government sees mothersand athers as interchangeable economicunits, they also conuse sexual equalitywith sexual equivalence. However,mothers and athers perorm differentroles with their children.

Babies need timeWe accept that we need to spend timewith our partners to build ourrelationship - and they are ully grownadults. But we dont accept that spendingtime together is even more importantwith babies. Te age o the baby and thehours spent in care do matter. We needto differentiate between the needs o aone month old, a one year old and a threeyear old.

Mothers help children manage stressWhat is maternal care? Hal an hour inthe evening isnt sufficient. Quality timecant make up or quantity time. Doseso mother matter.A study has been done into thecorrelation between the amount omaternal care received between the ageso 3 and 5 and the size o the part o thebrain called the hippocampus at age 7-13.Maternal support observed in earlychildhood was strongly predictive ohippocampal volume, which is related tothe release o stress hormones. Tere is aclear link between nurturing and the sizeo the hippocampus. Luby et al 2012

In other words, children who havespent less time with their mothers willbe less able to manage stress. Tis has

Marie Peacock

From the Chair


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The row over theGovernments latest whim toput two year olds into schoolprovides a snapshot of whatMothers at Home Matter areup to and what we are upagainst.

We write lettersPublished in Te Independent 19th Dec

013

A policy to keep families apart

Once again the Government wishesamilies to spend as little time togethers possible. Liz russ, the minister or

ducation and childcare, announced herdesire or schools to open 8am-6pm orhe convenience o both working parents.

Te modern living arrangements thathe speaks o do not take into accounthe never-changing requirement ohildren or consistent loving care duringheir early years. Nor does it considerhe desire or some amilies to work lessr or one parent not to work at all orshort time while their children are

oung.Mrs russ expects children to have a

onger working day than their parents,nd as little opportunity or interaction

with them as possible. Children arexpected to cope with a reduced chance chatting about their days joys andchievements or or parents to noticend nip in the bud a worry the child is

developing.Te childcare required has not onlyfinancial cost but also a social cost to

he next generation. Reorm taxation toeflect dependants, and let people make

heir own choices regarding work, homeie and childcare with their own money.

Family lie is too precious to meddle withn this way.

mogen Tompson, Stockporta Mothers at Home Matter committee

member)

We argue against themisconceptions andpreconceptions presented byhe Government

Te beginning o this article aboutchools taking 2 year olds reveals a great

deal about this Governments prioritiesor our children.

Comments romMothers at HomeMatter are initalics.

Published in Teelegraph 6t hFeb 2014

Schools will beencouraged to takechildren as youngas two to help solvethe countrys child carecrisis.

Te reason schools are to taketwo year olds is primarily to solveour child care crisis. Mothers at Home

Matter believes that our children arefacing a crisis, not bec ause their parentsare unable to afford child care, butbecause they are unable to afford to stayat home.

Liz russ, the education minister, iswriting to every council in England tosuggest that school nurseries shouldextend their opening hours to allowparents to leave toddlers during theworking day.

Te aim of this is, therefore, to separatetoddlers from their parents for as long as

possible. Te Government is also introducing

legislation to reduce red tape and make iteasier or schools to open their doors totwo-year-olds.

In other words, the Government has noobjective other than to corral the two yearolds into school, whatever it takes.

Ministers believe that opening upthe system will help provide tens othousands more child care places, whichare urgently needed in many areas.

Te reason child care places are neededis because mothers have to work toafford the house prices, which are beingstoked by this Governments policies, andbecause families with one income face adisproportionate tax burden.

It will also enable mothers to go backinto part-time work and help preventchildren rom disadvantagedbackgrounds rom slipping behind.

Tis is the real reason. Tey wantmothers in work to pay for our pensionsdeficit. Note that the focus is almostalways on raising children fromdisadvantaged backgrounds. So, all two

year olds are to be separated from theirmothers, whom they happen to love deeply

and depend on, in order to benefit theminority who have been unable, forwhatever reason, to provide their childrenwith consistent, one on one, loving care,and whose children are therefore less ableto function cognitively and emotionally.Wouldnt it make more sense to supportall mothers to provide their babies withwhat they most need, rather than justremoving the babies and toddlers? Surelybeing disadvantaged is being in a familywhere a mother has been unable to chooseto spend as much time as she instinctively

feels is right with h er baby because she hasto work?

We connect with experts inthe childcare fieldTe Chair o Mothers at Home Matter,Marie Peacock, is in close contact withall the experts quoted in this article andis a member, on our behal, o the EarlyChildhood Action group. Sue Palmerspoke at one o our AGMs, and her bookon 21st Century Girls was reviewed inthe last MAHM newsletter.

Te Independent, 6th Feb 2014

All-through Schools: From here touniversity(an extract)

In November, Baroness Morgan oHuyton, the chair o Osted, praised thework o all-through schools and sparkedcontroversy by calling or more childrento be enrolled in school-based nurseries,saying that radical action was needed toclose the achievement gap between richand poor children by the time they startschool.

Ark Schools is interested in how theidea could benefit its students, andnext month will launch a review o

MAHM - A Snapshot of What We Do

its nursery provision toconsider whether toadmit children as youngas two. But critics othe plan are concernedat the growingschoolification o theearly years and warn thatthe enormous institutionso all-through schools maynot be the best environment or

very young children.Sue Palmer, a literacy specialist and

author o the book oxic Childhood,says: Te difference between a two- orthree-year-old and an 18-year- old isso enormous that the idea o trying to

make some sort o seamless transition isbizarre.

It is a totally different business caringor small children and teaching peoplewho are about to go to university sowhy should it have to go on in the sameenvironment.

Tere seems to be a strange ideataking hold that small children shouldnot be allowed to be small children anymore. Te younger the child, the more itneeds to be a very personal environment.

Te countries that do the best in theworld [in educational comparisons]are the ones that spend a lot otime creating a kindergartenenvironment between theages o three and seven.For some reason in thiscountry, we have decidedthat a regimental approachis the answer.

Wendy Ellyatt, the oundingdirector o the Save ChildhoodMovement, voiced strong concerns.Many schools are likely to strugglewith providing suitably child-centredenvironments and the danger is that theneeds o the youngest children will becompromised to serve those o the largersystem,

Ellyatt said.I know how rightened my owndaughter was when she startedprimary school at our andwent rom being in a nurseryplayground with 30 childrento a school playground wherethere were 400.

Dr Richard House, asenior lecturer in earlychildhood at the University

families with

one income face

a disproportionate

tax burden

o Winchester, andthe ounder o Early

Childhood Action saidthe proposals couldbe catastrophic oryoung children.

I am implacablyagainst this proposal

until there is aundamental sea-change

in governmental and culturalattitudes to early childhood experience

in this country, he said.I anything, things are moving in

precisely the wrong direction, withearly childhood becoming increasinglycolonised by a toxic and deeply harmul

school-readiness agenda, which isincreasingly driving all early yearspolicy-making.

However, back at King SolomonAcademy, Ms Willms is adamant thatthe school she ounded in 2007 isproviding the best preparation or itsyoungest children. Our schools are inareas o high deprivation. Although ourparents want to do the right thing, theyace severe challenges and many o ourpupils have not had the richness o home

experiences that other children havehad. Many start school well

behind where children areexpected to be at that age.

Tat gap needs to beclosed ast and that iswhat we do.

We representmothers at home

in the mediaCosts o Childcare

Te act that childcare costs more thansome peoples mortgages has madethe news headlines recently. In mediainterviews Mothers at Home Matter hasmade the points that:

You cant have cheap childcare. It willalways be expensive to try to replace amother.

Te Government is alreadyploughing 4.5bn into the

Childcare and Early YearsIntervention sector.Where mothers wantto work or theirown career prospectsand enjoyment,why should the

Government subsidise

them more thanthey already do?Where mothers are onlyworking to pay the bills, the Governmentshould level the playing field in terms oremoving tax penalties on single incomeamilies. Why und mothers to go out towork to pay someone else to look afertheir children when they would ratherlook afer them themselves.

Te high cost o childcare is not whatis stopping mothers rom working. In arecent survey, among parents who havenot used childcare in the past year, themain reason given (71%) was that theywould rather look afer their childrenthemselves. Te cost o childcare was

only cited by 13% o parents.

We speak up for mothers athomeHi,

I have just heard o your organisation.I love it! Tank you so much.

My husband and I decided beore wewere married that I would stay at homeor as long as the children (8,6,4) neededme. Its not something that we wouldnegotiate, and we are very creative aboutkeeping our expenses to a minimum.Lots o people express bewildermentthat I am not making use o a Universitydegree but personally I find parentingan enormous challenge intellectually,and its great that I can help my husbandwith his work and keep the householdrunning smoothly.

No one seems to value domestic lieany more.... or at least, think its worthdevoting themselves to it. And people doindeed conuse busy with important.Our kids are orderly, happy, and un!(and we dont have a tv).

Not meaning to sound sel-righteous,Im just very happy with this lie, and Iwonder i people are reaching or all thewrong things in our society.

Lyndsey Simpson

MAHM commentTank you for the encouragement. We dobelieve that mothers at home perform anextremely valuable role. We campaignso that more families can choose tohave a mother, or a father, at home

full time if they wish . Motherhood isconstantly underrated these days, and itsencouraging to be reminded of the valueof a mother at home.


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t can be uncomfortableand controversial to makehe point that children

benefit from having aparent at home full time.

What is undisputeds that the Government

discriminates against singlencome families and pours

billions into encouragingmothers out to work to veryittle obvious financial gain tohe Treasury.This page illustrates how

unfair the current system is.

he British tax system penalisessingle income amilies and makes nollowance or caring responsibilities. Teoss o Child Benefit, actually called theHigh Income ax Charge, has ocused

he minds o many amilies with onearner on the injustices in the tax system.

A couple earning 40,000 plus 20,000do not count as being on a High Incomend so will keep their Child Benefit,

s well as being eligible or 1,200 ohildcare tax breaks and 20,000 o tax

ree income. However, a amily wherene person earns 60,000 does qualiys being on a High Income and so will

ose their Child Benefit as well as onlyqualiying or 10,000 o tax ree income

nd not gaining any tax breaks. Tisbviously discriminates against amilies

with one parent at home.

Mothers at Home Matter isampaigning or a transerable tax

llowance and/or, ideally, income

splitting.Either measure would make a realdifference to the incomes o amilies witha parent at home ull time, or even whereone partner is working part time to lookafer children and isnt using their ulltax ree allowance. It would give amiliesa real choice whether to have a parent athome ull time or not.

Transferable tax allowanceTis would allow the non-earningpartner to transer his/her tax reeallowance o 10,000 to his/her partner.In practice, this would mean that themain earner would not start to pay taxuntil he or she had earned 20,000,instead o 10,000, a saving o 2000 ayear. Te main earner would not start topay tax at 40% until he/she had earned51,866, instead o the current 41,866.(Te Government has increased the taxree allowance to 10,000 but reduced thelevel at which 40% tax is applied by 145to 41866 rom 42,011, which will affectsingle income amilies

disproportionately,as we dontcurrently benefitrom the tax reeallowance).

Incomesplitting

Tis would reducetax paid even urther.

Someone earning60,000 would count as

two individuals earning30,000 each, thus enjoying

20,000 o tax ree allowanceand not having to pay any 40% tax.

Saving the Government

moneyTe Government effectively pays ornurseries to exist and then pays parentsto send their children there. TeGovernment currently spends about4.5bn on what they call early interventionand childcare. Tis includes 2bnon early education or three and ouryear olds (Pre School), leaving 2.5bnor childcare and early intervention,presumably nurseries.

Ignoring any debatable suggestionsthat babies like nothing more than to beseparated rom their mothers and lookedafer by nursery workers, the real reasonthe Government pours this moneyin is because they think that workingmothers will be a net contributor to thereasury, partly through the reduction inUniversal Credit payable when mothersbring in an extra wage, and partlythrough the tax contributions o themother.

In order to gain this income, the

An unjust tax system

Total Household

income

Annual household

tax due when one

parent works

Annual household

tax due when two

parents work

(equal earners)

Extra tax paid

annually in a one

earner family

Extra tax paid in a

one earner family

per week

30,000 4,112 2,224 1,888 (54% more) 36.31

50,000 9,822 6,224 3,598 (58% more) 69.19

60,000 13,822 8,224 5,598 (68% more) 107.65

With Child Benet tax charge factored in

60,000 + 2 kids 15,574 8,224 7,350 (89%more) 141.34

Government unds nurseries, bothdirectly through unding perchild, and indirectly, throughUniversal Credit. Tey thenpay parents to take upnursery places throughchildcare tax credits.

However, the mathsdoes not add up. Te

vast majority o amilieshave a mother and/or ather working parttime to enable them tospend at least some timewith their much lovedand valued children. Manypart time parents will not earn

significantly more than the taxree threshold o 10,000. Do theycontribute more in tax than the 4.5bnspent by the Government on childcare?

And is the cost o unding workingmothers worth the emotional andpossibly developmental cost o separatingbabies rom their mothers?

True choiceTe Governments language is constantlyabout choice. However, their ownstatistics showed that 35% o workingmothers want to be at home ull time,and 57% want to work ewer hours to bewith their children more.

Te Government has not introducedany measures to enable amilies tochoose to have a parent at home ulltime.

I the Government was committedto choice, they would establish alevel playing field in the tax systemand in their rhetoric. Te tax creditsavailable or babies in nursery wouldbe available to all amilies, or them to

choose whether they really do want tomaintain two careers and fit childcarearound these, which some amilies do, orwhether they would actually preer to usethe money to subsidise lost wages andspend more time with their children.

ranserable tax allowances or incomesplitting would hand money back toamilies to decide how to bring up theirchildren themselves.

Aspirational Families?In rhetoric terms, the Governmentshould stop using the words hardworking or aspirational to reer only toamilies where both parents work. Manyamilies have a mother or ather at homeull time because they are aspirational

and

wantthe best ortheir children,

and both partners are extremely hardworking, both in the home and out o it.

Ironically, the current tax system isestablishing a divide between amilieswhich can just about afford to pay amortgage and support a amily based onone income and those who cant affordthe penalisation they would ace in thetax system i they didnt both work.

For those at the Universal Creditincome threshold, it is almost impossibleor one earner to increase their amilysincome, as every extra pound earnedcosts 73p in lost benefits, NationalInsurance and extra taxes, so theyonly actually take home an extra 27p.However, i both partners work, theyenjoy two tax ree incomes o 10,000,so they can increase their income muchmore easily.

Disadvantaged FamiliesAt Mothers at Home Matter we believethat there are many advantages orchildren in having a parent, and, in ouropinion, particularly a mother, at homeull time.

Te Government is removing thisoption rom poorer amilies, and isthereore adding to the disadvantagesthese children ace, in the name ohelping them out o poverty by enablingtheir mothers to work.

Stay at home parents: a goodvalue family modelTe sofer side o the argument is thatmothers or athers at home ull time canbe a real benefit to society. We enableour partners to work productively as theydont need to take time off to look afer

sick children or attend school unctions.Many o us are actively involved in thecommunity, running PAs, helpingwith Home Start etc. We dont draw taxcredits rom the reasury or childcare.We even look afer our working riendschildren inormally. We currentlycontribute over and above our air shareo tax. We are surely a amily model tobe encouraged, not penalised.We are not calling or the 4.5bncurrently spent on childcare to be sharedequally amongst all amilies. We aresimply campaigning or there to bea level playing field by removing thediscrimination in the tax system againstsingle income amilies. Tis would give

amilies real choice.

Pat Dudley

AGM Finance Report

I would like to thank ourHonorary Auditor, DerekHolley who has once againaudited the accounts.

In the year to 31 August 2013, ourincome rom subscriptions was7187, compared to 3878 last year, anincrease o 85%, due to over 300 newmembers joining ollowing the Houseo Commons event in March andsubsequent publicity. Donations o 1770were slightly less than last year (1839),so overall total income has increased by57%.

wo newsletters were published thisyear. Website maintenance cost 467.Printing new leaflets cost 159.

Te AGM in November 2 012 gave asmall profit o 90 compared with a net

cost o 77 in 2011. Te premises cost150, catering was 173 and books cost59, giving total costs o 382, whichwere offset by ticket sales o 472.

Te cost o the event at the Houseo Commons was 1128 or catering,invitations, travel costs rom Finland orJonas and other miscellaneous items.

Te bank balance was 9949 at the endo August 2012 compared with 9838 lastyear.

Tank you or your support yoursubscriptions and donations mean thatwe can continue to raise the profile omothers at home and highlight the needso children.


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between the needs o a 6 month old, aneighteen month old and a three year old.Te studies that suggest that nurseryprovides the best start in lie are allstudies that consider children older thanthree and most ofen consider our to fiveyear olds.

Te EPPE study is one o the bestknown. Fifeen hours a week early yearseducation based on play does supportchildrens cognitive development, butthe findings o this research should notbe transposed to effects o long hoursin group day care or babies and underthrees who need consistent, one to oneand responsive loving care.

Te majority o research which is

inorming policy or 0 to three year oldsis research looking at the over threes.Te age difference is significant becauseat around three, children are able to

verbalise their emotions, beore thatthey have to act out their eelings. Forchildren, behaviour is language.

Mother loveReturning to the importance o mothers,you only have to look at the way a babyor child interacts with their mother (orather) and the way a baby or child relatesto a nursery worker, to see that mothersare the centre and ocus o a babys lie.

Babies need their mothers and theyneed them in large doses. Q uality timecan not replace quantity time. For ababy, the currency o love is time. Or,speaking more personally, much asI appreciate riends children, wordscannot describe the passion I eel ormy children. No one else can eel thatsame passion, and certainly not a nurseryemployee.

AttachmentWe know that attachment is vital orbabies. Tey have to be well attached toa secure figure whom they know lovesthem unconditionally.

Tis attachment is developed throughproximity and eye contact and usuallykicks in at about nine months, whichis ofen the time at which maternityleave ends and babies are removed romtheir mothers to spend their days in thecompany o well-meaning but transientstrangers and other needy babies.Attachment is crucial or many aspects outure psychological health.

Sue Palmer has written, in 21stCentury Girls, that or girls to have

the best possible chance o a goodchildhood and a ulfilling, happy lie,they need [their mothers] constant,consistent, one-on-one personal careduring the first two years at least. Itslogical and sel-evident, but these dayswe have to prove it.

Hippocampal volumeOn the dispassionate, scientific side, astudy has been done into the correlationbetween the amount o maternal carereceived between the ages o three andfive and the brain size age 7-13.

Maternal support observed in earlychildhood was strongly predictive ohippocampal volume, which is related to

the release o stress hormones. Tere is aclear link between nurturing and the sizeo the hippocampus. (Luby et al 2002.)Tis has potentially proound publichealth implications.

OxytocinMothers and children bring out thehormone oxytocin in each other.Oxytocin increases willingness to shareones emotions socially and increasesthe depth o communication. Oxy tocinimproves the mind reading ability inhumans, which makes a significantdifference in building relationships.Neuropsycopharmocology 2013concluded parental oxytocin and earlycaregiving jointly shape childrensoxytocin response and social reciprocity.

ConclusionsWe can never do a control experimentwith children. We cant know howthey may have turned out in differentcircumstances.

odays children are subject to

numerous actors such as the damagethat screen time inflicts on them and aconsumer society which replaces the gifo time spent with parents with monetarygifs given in love. We cant necessarilysingle out one actor as overriding. Manyparents move heaven and earth to limitthe amount o time a child spends inormalised care by working ewer hours,using grandparents or child minders andso on.

A baby doesnt necessarily writhe withuncontrollable cortisol the second itenters a nursery and i time in nurseryis minimised, the damage will belimited. However, the studies emergingon nurseries are worrying or the utureoutcomes o our children.

RecommendationsInstead o pretending that babies lovenothing more than to spend their days inthe company o well-meaning strangersas their mothers skip happily off to spendtheir days doing something much moreulfilling than looking afer the littlepeople who make their hearts skip abeat with joy, this Government shouldbe brave enough to take a serious lookat the long-term consequences o ourcountrys ever increasing dependence oninstitutionalised care or under threes.

Te least they could do is allowamilies to choose how best to bring uptheir children, weighing the economicnecessity o both parents working againsttheir childrens visceral desire and innateneed to be with their mother or ather asmuch as possible. Te way they could dothis is to:

Stop discriminating against singleincome amilies in the tax system.Families on one income lose the secondearners tax ree allowance and haverecently lost the amily allowance thatwas renamed child benefit. It is not abenefit, it is an allowance against tax paidor earners supporting a amily. Stop uelling the unrealistic costs othe housing market through measuressuch as the Help to Buy scheme and theailure to build enough homes. Redistribute the 4.5bn being spent onthe childcare and early years educationsector to amilies and allow themtodecide whether to pay or childcare andcontinue working or sacrifice an incometo raise their children themselves. Change the language which suggeststhat amilies where both parents are

paid to work and children are broughtup outside the home are hard workingand aspirational and so, by implication,suggest that amilies who have sacrificedan income to raise their childrenthemselves are not aspirational or hardworking. Tey want the best or theirchildren. Tey are aspirational. Stop denying any studies which pointto possible drawbacks to babies andchildren being separated rom theirmother or ather and brought up in theday care sector. B e brave enough topublish findings which may not eedinto their agenda o getting all mothersworking, regardless o the impact ontheir children and themselves.

An Inconvenient Truth

This article is based onesearch I conducted before

appearing on BBC Breakfastv as a spokesperson for

Mothers at Home Matter,debating research indicatinghat children at nursery are

more aggressive than childrenwho are looked after at homeby their mothers.

Are babies and children better offin nursery than at home? TeGovernment, and some mothers, seemo think so. Are there any negativeutcomes or babies or children who are

n nursery?Tis is one o the key issues which

Mothers at Home Matter has to debateecause i it makes no difference whether

mothers or nursery workers look aferabies, then it is simply a matter oonvenience whether babies go to

nursery or not.It is also one o the most uncomortable

opics to raise. No mother wants to eelhe isnt doing the very best or her babynd I really dont want to be the one touggest that. Also, to be rank, I am

uncomortable making the point thatmy children benefitted rom being athome with me, because their behavioursnt always obviously angelic, or, at least,etter than their nursery-educated peers.With the caveat that very many

nursery workers are dedicated and caringndividuals who are doing their absoluteest or the children in their care, I offerou a number o actors which highlighthe potential dangers o nursery care.

Nurseries are no substitute forparental careMothers do not go out to work in ordero pay or their children to go to nursery.t is not like private school. Babies andhildren go to nursery because their

mothers have to work so someone elsehas to look afer them. I we start romhis premise, it is obvious that nurseriesre almost never the first choice orcouple wanting the best or their

hildren.

The needs of childrenAt its core, ormal day care substitutesare by a parent who loves the child withare by someone who doesnt. Whatbout babies and children? Wh at do

they want and need? Te nurserydebate is almost always couchedin terms o what mothers want(which is actually, ofen, to stayat home with their children asmuch as possible). But babies andchildren want and need to haveunconditional, loving, responsive carerom their mothers or athers.

Te onus shouldnt be on mothers toprove that we are special to our children,the onus should be on the Governmentto prove that separating an inant romits mother doesnt do long term damage.It may not, but there are several studiesindicating that it does. Te Governmentis ailing to put the needs o inants first.

Mothers vs day careTere are two actors. Te first is that asmuch time as possible with the motheris essential or the healthy emotionaland mental development o babies.Te second is that time spent in daycare is not only time spent away romthe mother, but also is time spent in astressul environment or the child.

Negative behaviour outcomesaking the second actor first, thestressul environment o nurseries:the most thorough - wide scale andlongitudinal research rom the US withlonger term ollow up shows negativebehaviour outcomes or children whoattend day care.

Tis can be explained through thediscovery that children in day care havehigher levels o cortisol compared tochildren cared or at home, particularlyin the under threes. When the vitalrelationship between a mother and ababy is disrupted, it causes stress in thebaby brain.

A consistent, loving parentalrelationship makes networks orm inthe developing brain which enablea child to handle stress in later lie,achieve emotional sel-control, and sorelate sensitively to other people. Tesenetworks in the brain also influenceemotional and physical health, such asobesity, in adulthood.

The problems of high cortisolTere are a number o studies that showthat long hours in day care are not goodor the developing brain (Vermeer et al2006). Te problem with high cortisol, orstress is that it predicts brain changes inchildren. (Carrion et al 2007) In

animals, itsshown to damage the pre-rontal cortex.In children, damage to the pre-rontalcortex is associated with impaired control

o emotions and can be harmul to

executive unctions including control oinhibition, sustained attention, workingmemory and cognitive flexibility.

Worryingly, high levels o cortisol

are related to anxiety in adolescent girlsand the release o testosterone in boys,leading to externalising behaviour andaggression. Tis has been borne outby increased reports o aggression in

children.As a lay person, I think it is quite

obvious that where a generation o babiesand children have spent their days in the

constantly stimulating environment oa nursery, surrounded by other babiesand children, they are going to be usedto operating at a more constant level ohyperactivity than babies and children in

their own home, taking the day at theirown pace, or at least at their motherspace.

Cognitive benefits vsemotional disturbanceA paper rom the National Institute o

Child Health and Human Developmentby Proessor Jay Belsky has ound that themore time children spent in centre basedcare rom 3-54 months o age, the more

cognitively and linguistically advancedthey were AND the more they maniestedaggressive and disobedient behaviour.Tese effects were less pronounced in

home-based care settings. And, in act,many o these early linguistic benefitseven out as the children grow older,whereas the emotional disturbanceremains. So, care outside the home does

seem to be the issue.

Differing needs for differentagesIt is very important to distinguish by Claire Paye


6/7

11

considering our options regarding givingup work to look afer our children and sowe made the decision that I would giveup work based on the simple act that mywie was earning more than me.

Looking afer my 2 daughters is themost demanding, difficult, non-stop

job I have ever done and also the mostenjoyable and rewarding

by ar! At firstit took time

to get aroutine

goingbut

once a routine isestablished it makes things run

a lot smoother. I take care o all aspectso being a house husband rom doingall the cooking, cleaning, washing andironing as well as all the DIY.

Te decision to look afer my childrenat home wasnt just a monetaryone. We elt the childrencould learn more athome and havemore reedom oexpression and

not be governedas much by healthand saety butinstead to learnby their mistakes. Ithink this has worked.

I made a point romthe start to try and do as manycourses and classes as I could cram intoany ree time that I had. Te purposewas to use these as an aid to helpingme be a better ather to my girls andpossibly pick up skills that I could use toretrain or a career in childcare when mychildren are both at school. Tereore Iam now halway towards my NVQ level3 in Childcare and I have done severalcookery courses, Basic Food Hygiene

MAHM meets with the NCTn January 2014 I was pleased to meet

with the Chie Executive o the NCNational Childbirth rust) Te NC

promotes itsel as the UKs largestharity or parents and has a substantial

membership throughout the country.t provides inormation and support on

pregnancy, birth and parenting via aelephone helpline, local meetings,

publications and inormationn their website.We discussed the

mportant responsibilityhat parentingrganisations have showing the ull

ariety o childcarehoices availableo parents in aalanced, unbiased

manner, includingmothers and athersooking afer theirwn children at home.

By listing only officialpaid-or options or childcarend not including such equallyalid inormation about caring orhildren at home, an inormed choiceannot be made when planning or theare o a new baby. In addition, a parent

who already has the desire to stay athome with their child but cannot findhis entry validated on a list o childcareptions can ofen find their confidence inhis decision wavering and sel-doubt canreep in.Te good news is that the NC

has agreed to update the relevantnormation on their website to include

tay at home parents. Hopeully, thiswill be completed shortly and we lookorward to keeping in touch with the

NC in the uture.Imogen Tompson

A Dads perspectiveWhen my first child, Eimear was born in

008 both my wie and I were workingnd using a childminder. With the birth our second girl, Siora in 2010, I just

happened to come across a book calledhe Sixty Minute Father by Bob Parsons,his book really resonated with me andne quote I took out o it was no onevery said on their deathbed, I wish I hadpent more time at work.

My wie and I had already been

Certificate, Speech Terapy the list ismassive!

I have to say that every course thatI went on, mostly through Surestart Iwas the only male. Now thi s was a bit

daunting at first it was probably equallyso or the women. I would not haveknown anyone being new to the areawhich did not help. Tere was quite a

bit o whispering and such and the ladytaking the course whilst doing her best inmost cases to make me eel comortable

but I was ofen singled out and lef out oconversations. I knew the other womenwere sharing stories, ideas and tips

about raising their children and I wouldhave loved to have been sharing in that

invaluable talent pool but unortunately Iwas excluded.

It seems to me and I am sure, mostpeople, that raising children in todaysworld can be daunting and the support

networks o old are ofen not in placeie amily support structures, as is thecase in my own situation and thereoreI eel that organisations like Surestart

are invaluable in a lot o ways in helpingout. Although I was exluded rom themums conversations I did pick up a lot o

invaluable inormation rom the courseswhich helped me a great deal and I learnta lot o useul tools which have helped meenormously to date.

Perhaps in uture it might be agood idea to try and structure coursesslightly better in order to acilitate dads

especially as the government offer sharedpraternity leave amongst parents.

Although the uptake amongst the

dads out there has been sittingat 0.6% in the UK nationally

I think that these figures willincrease in the uture.

I think dads offer a uniqueview o parenting and an

invaluable knowledge base

which needs to be tapped into. Inmy own situation I can see this. I

find it amazing that as the breadwinnerit is my wie that is doing the roles that

I would have done whilst I was workingie coming home and playing with thechildren whilst I prepare dinner and on

the other hand her day to day parentingskills when she is not working are notquite as, lets just say up to speed as itis now me perorming those on a daily

basis.Jim Leonard

Thank you very much toeveryone who has taken thetime to write to us. Wevepublished a range of lettershere.

We welcome any letters [email protected] or P.O. Box 43690London SE22 9WN

Hi,Ive been a member o the organisation

or around seven years now. As youwelcome opinions rom members Ithought Id email.

Obviously, the newsletter is animportant tool or recruiting newmembers to our organisation. But timeand again I find mysel uncomortablewith the photographs o white, middle-class women and children, whichdominate throughout.

Tey are not representative o themulti-ethnic society we enjoy in the UK.We are (as ar as I am aware) or ALLparents who are at home ull-time withtheir children, or those who would like tobe, but cant be, because o their domesticsituation. Lots o males are now at homelooking afer their children, and couplescome in different combinations, not justmale and emale.

Indeed you dont have to be part oa couple at all to be a ull-time parent,and actually there is an argument to saythat single-parent amilies are in moreneed o our support, as they ofen findit particularly hard, i not impossible, tobe at home with their children ull-timebecause o financial constraints. It wouldbe great i our newsletter reflected theseissues more clearly.

I hope you find my comments helpul.

Best wishes,Julie Knowles

Comment from MAHMTank you to Julie for taking the time

to write. Of course, Mothers at HomeMatter represents all families who wouldlike the choice to have a parent at homewith their children as much as possible.We have recently been interviewed onColourful Radio, based at the Oval inSouth London, and would welcome moremembers from ethnic minority groups.

Dear MAHMJust wanted to share something that

has happened to me today, as a member Ithought I would share.

I am currently a stay at home mumthrough circumstances beyond mycontrol and absolutely no support. I amat home with my 2 year old and have a 4year old in school.

I have gone on a course through mylocal children centre where they havegiven my son a crche place whichhas been invaluable to me as I have soenjoyed the course and my son has lovedthe crche. No one knows my situationand I have worked rom when I was 16right up until I had my first son nearly 5

years ago.A ellow lady on the course just saidto my ace without knowing me or mysituation that I dont deserve the ree 15hours nursery unding or my son as Idont work, I dont need it and pe ople thatdont work go shopping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WOW!!!Tis is what people think because o thebad portrayal o stay at home mums andthe media surrounding the childcareissues currently.

I have also had a comment recentlythat my children are disadvantaged!!!

I am so ed up o this, no one knows usor what we have been through but we getslated. I get so lonely and eel so isolatedat times at home because the governmentcuts have closed a lot o acilities aroundhere or children and the children centreis also going through major changes.Also you need money to do a lot o thingsand with one income that is not alwayspossible.

My children are nowhere neardisadvantaged, we provide a stable and

secure home and they know who picksthem up rom school and drops them off,my children know I am here or them.

We all deserve a break at times and thisis what a nursery place would give me, aschool nursery place more to the pointand not a private nursery. Being homeis exhausting and I have been ill manytimes due to the constant demands omotherhood and lie.

I do not judge anyone elses situationas I know its a tough world, but why dopeople think its ok to talk to me likethat!!

I am sorry to rant on but this is whyI joined you as a member as we need totackle this together.

Anonymous

MAHM comment:Tis is the sort of letter whichencourages us to keep going with Mothersat Home Matter. One of our roles is to

provide a voice in the media for motherssuch as this one. We also run a Facebook

group to allow members to share theirexperienc es with each other: Mothers atHome Matter oo.

Children in a toxic worldIt really shouldnt come as anysurprise that young peoples lives andmental health are being substantiallycompromised because o the demandso modern lie (Mental health risk tochildren trapped in toxic climate o

dieting, pornography and school stress,20 January).Sue Palmer and I composed two

open press letters on this issue backin 2006 and 2007, signed by severalhundred expert authorities romacross the globe. But still, afer all ourcampaigning, articles and books still,hardly anything has changed. Tis isan appalling indictment o the toxicworld that we adults are creating orour children. Effort must be ocusedupon those areas where we can make adifference.

Most notably, i the will is there,governments have the ability to rein backthe noxious audit and accountabilityculture that has enguled our schoolssince the 1990s, in which we areexamining and testing our children todeath and in some tragic cases, quiteliterally.

Parents also need to view themselves asthe proactive creators o modern culture,and not its hapless victims, especially in

relation to the rampant technologisationo human communication, which shouldhave absolutely no place in early andmiddle childhood.

Te Save Childhood movement andits oo Much oo Soon campaign are

just two examples o emerging culturalinitiatives which are challenging thesetrends, and which all concerned citizenscan throw their weight behind, i werereally serious about genuine grassrootschange on this vital question.

Dr Richard HouseSenior Lecturer in Early Childhood

Studies, University of Winchester

A Meeting & a Dads Perspective Letters

Raising

children in todays

world can be

daunting


7/72

Mothers at Home Matter members and committee

represent a very wide range of political and social views.

However, we all recognise the need to protect and celebrate

the value of motherhood.Mothers at Home Matter is not afliated to any political

organisation. We welcome all who support mothers.

Being a Mothers at Home Matter Member Thank you for being a member of Mothers at Home Matter.

Please remember to increase your Standing Order to 12.50 or a singlemembership, or 15 or a joint membership with your partner. We areall volunteers on the committee and your membership helps pay or theollowing:

Advocacy: We lobby the Government directly and through the media

to recognise the importance o mothers being able to raise their childrenthemselves. We campaign to stop the discrimination in the tax systemagainst single income amilies and we point out the unairness o pouringbillions into amilies where both parents work.

Profile: Te media come to MAHM as first port o call or any topicsaffecting mothers at home. Our committee members are requently invitedto participate in media orums such as Radio 4s Bringing up Britain,Newsnight and other high profile media outlets.

Meetings: We eed into as many diverse organisations and campaigns aspossible on behal o mothers at home and children. Our recent meetingshave included the Save Childhood Movement, the NC, Project 28-40, AllParliamentary Groups, and Camila Batmanghelidjh o Kids Company.

Website:Our website draws together many articles covering issues affectingamilies. We also run two Facebook pages: Mothers at Home Matter oo,which is a page and Mothers at Home Matter, which is a group.

Newsletter: We currently produce two in depth newsletters a year. Werealise that many people preer to read newsletters online. We wil lthereore, afer this newsletter, be producing the newsletter in electronicormat and emailing it to our members as well as posting it on our website.Tis will make it easier or you to orward to your MP, or anyone else youthink may be interested or encouraged. I you would still like to receivea paper copy, we would be happy to post one to you. Please opt in to theprinted newsletter by emailing [email protected] or writingto PO Box 43690, London, SE22 9WN.

As mothers at home ull time ourselves, we recognise that finances are ofen

tight, but we really appreciate the moral and financial support o membersto enable us to continue campaigning on your behal and being a voice ormothers at home.

Subscription Renewal

I youve already organised payment o this years membership subscriptionor have joined in the last 6 months please ignore the enclosed renewal orm.Please dont orget to increase your Standing Order at your bank to 12.50 orsingle members or 15 or couple membership.I you have changed your address or email, please let us know. I you wouldlike to set up a Standing Order please complete the slip at the bottom othe Renewal orm and send the orm together with your cheque payable to

Mothers at Home Matter to our PO Box. Alternatively you can pay onlineusing Paypal.For any additional inormation, including our bank account detailsso you can set up a standing order yoursel, please contact [email protected]

Mothers AtHome MatterCOMMITTEE

Chair

Marie Peacock

07722 [email protected]

Vice Chair

Anne Fennell

07957 232504

[email protected]

Treasurer

Pat Dudley

01737 832598

[email protected]

Secretary

Lynne Burnham

01737 768705

[email protected]

Membership Secretary

Sine Pickles

0208 2990156

Newsletter Editor

Claire Paye


Media Enquiries

Lynne Burnham


Claire Paye


Laura Perrins

07708 664974

Anne Fennell

07957 232504

Imogen Thompson

07913 464323

Other Committee Members

Sarah Douglas-Pennant, Esther

Peacock, Alexandra McVicar-Payling,

Heather Ticheli, Alison Richards

Design Editor

Poppy Pickles

Patrons

Kathy Gyngell

Fiona Castle, Lady Griffiths of

Fforestfach, Oliver James, Patricia

Morganwww.mothersathomematter.co.uk

P.O. Box 43690, London SE22 9WN

mahm newsletter spring 2014

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