magnum 4d | ongline traditions | e-scroll

WINLIKE ABOSS

Chinese New Year is full of tradition and pantang to make sure we ONG. But today we spend a lot of time online, and own things our tai gong and tai po never own –

laptop, smartphone, Facebook page…

Those things never have any tradition or pantang. How we make them ONG leh?This is how: the world’s first guide to ONGline Traditions! In here, we show you how

to feng shui all your high-tech things kau kau.

With this guide, your whole year will guarantee sibeh ONG, both online and offline!Gong Hei Fatt Choy!

ONG-troduction

ONGLINE TRADITIONS #1

Macam we cannot cut hair or sweep floor, make sure you #nocrop your photo this Chinese New Year. Because if you crop, your good luck will also kena crop away!

Video also same because one video is worth many, many pictures.

If you are photo or video editor, don’t work until Chinese New Year finish. If really really cannot, your boss say you must work, then ask him/her to give you big big angpow first.

Since we cannot use sharp sharp things like knife, scissors or needles during Chinese New Year, we better don’t sharpen our photos also. This will make our people luck better, good relationship won’t kena cut and can help us avoid people with laser mouth.

To scare away viruses and dodgy online stalkers, our devices and social media profiles must #redkaukau! This is same like how we wear red red to scare away evil spirits and bad fortune.

NO CR P


NO SH RPEN


MUSTRED

KAU KAU

This Chinese New Year, make sure all your Twitter updates got 88 characters. Cannot more, cannot less. Because the sound of the Chinese word for 8 is like the Chinese word for “prosper”.

You want more people to like you in the New Year? Can! You give what, you get what! Start liking everyone’s photo/status. Maybe you will suddenly notice got a lot people like you back. #GiveMoreGetMore #LikeForLike

To add the power of this people luck, you should also only swipe right on Tinder. If you want more people to match with you, cannot hiam so much lor.

They say what you do during Chinese New Year is what you

will do the whole year.So, if you use many positive

emoticon like the happy happy one, the love love one or the

party party one, they will be the one you use most whole year!

We eat long long noodle to get long long life during Chinese New Year. So, we must also use long long cable for our devices so that they got long long life. #LongLongCable #LongLongLife

ONGLINE TRADITIONS #3A

-CHARACTER LIMIT

88


GIVE MOREGET MORE

CABLE,

MUST OPENOPENOPEN






USE P SITI EEM TIC NS

88k

LIFE

When you buy number, you must make sure you open open open all your apps on your phone and computer. The more apps you open, the more easy your number can open.

This Chinese New Year, it is important to bring power bank everywhere because having ‘full’ battery can bring a lot of ‘foo’ (Mandarin for prosperity). #FooBattery

Chinese New Year is about looking forward to a new year. That’s why, you should not share Facebook memories. Don’t matter how many times they pop up to remind you what you did last year, last last year and last last last year.

Because the Chinese word for book, “shu” also sounds like the Chinese word for “lose”, and e-book is a type of book.

No worry. What you reading now is not a book, it’s a scroll.

AVOID TOO MANYQUESTION MARKS


When you want to ask question when texting, use one question mark enough already.

If you use many question marks for no reason, you will kena many aunties ask you many questions also when you visit them.

Got boyfriend mou ah?

Chinese New Year time always got many very touch, much feels advertsements/videos. If you are the a-bit-a-bit-cry type, make sure you don't watch. The Chinese people believe if you cry during Chinese New Year, you will keep crying whole year.

NO WATCHCRY CRY VIDE


They say Chinese New Year cannot scold scold scold if not the God of Wealth will kena scold away.

Since emotions sibeh hard to control when you kancheong play game, it's better to avoid playing.

ONGLINE TRADITIONS #13A

NO PLAY


NO DOWNLOAD

Chinese New Year cannot wash hair, cannot wash clothes, cannot sweep floor, rubbish also cannot throw.

So, all your emails and messages also cannot delete, recycle bin cannot empty, junk mail also cannot clear. Keep them during Chinese New Year so you can protect your wealth! #KeepForHUAT


KEEPF RHUAT

888

e-B KS

Every year, the Joey Yap, the Lillian Too and the So Man Fung will tell you your zodiac not ngam with what other zodiac. Put them in a ‘clash’ list so you don’t see each other’s Facebook updates, if not might lead to bo song feeling.


MUSTHAVE


Last time before we got technology, people use firecrackers to scare evil away during Chinese New Year. But now different. Firecrackers kena ban already. No worry. We got the canggih speakers. All you have to do is play your music super loud!

4D4D

4D

EVERYDAY CHINESE ONG CHINESE

八發ba fa


At midnight of Chinese New Year, we must open the light bright bright at home. So, we must make sure our screens also bright! Like that your new year sure super bright one.

SCREEN BRIGHTNESS

YEA

R B

RIG

HTN

ESS

MUST

BATTERYF

98%Sweet spot.So you can alsofatt long long.

Ah Huat, Remember This?

3 Years Ago

SHARE

MEMORIESSHARENO

According to traditions, when give angpow we must have 2 pieces of money inside so that good things will double.

Now, social media also got this kind of tradition. When post happy status, post 2. When post inspiring quote photo, post 2 also. Everything good, post two lah!

MUSTONGLINE TRADITIONS #15

GOOD THINGS

TWICEPOST

MUST PUTDESKTOP ICONS N T P RIGHT


GA E

888

This is Ah Huat.

Ah Huat is ONG offlineand also online.

Ah Huat school enough.

Ah Huat is smart.

Be like Ah Huat.

This is Ah Huat.

Ah Huat is ONG offlineand also online.

Ah Huat school enough.

Ah Huat is smart.

Be like Ah Huat.

CLASH LIST

L UDL UD

MUST MAKESPEAKERS

88k

Eh, tonight free?????

Y u angry me?

恭喜發財

People born in 1960

Your job pay high anot?

Online changes for real-life prosperity

Because like that baru can...

… move forward and…

... m

ove

upw

ards

.

TRADITIONS

magnum 4d | ongline traditions | e-scroll

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