lovesick: the psychological animal

8/2/2019 Lovesick: The Psychological Animal

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Thepsychologicalanimalisawayinwhichhumansattempttoarticulateand

reflectontheirexistencethroughthemediumofanimallife.Representationsofanimals

serveasadirectwayoflinkinghumanswithwildlifethroughthebondoffeeling,asthis

connectionissignificantinconsideringaspectsofboththeanimalandthehuman

condition.Explorationsofemotionalstatesofanimalsbecamenotablyevidentinthe

Romanticperiodwhereanimalswererepresentedasbothforcesofnatureandmetaphors

forhumanbehavior,astheysoughttomakeaconnection.Thisistosuggestthattheir

depictionsofanimalsareoftheirnaturalstateorconditionofbeing,whereactionsor

gesturesdonothavetobeentirelyanthropomorphizedorexaggerated,butcanbesubtle

andmoretruetothebehaviorofthesubjectitself.1

WithinmyworkIaminterestedincouplinggracefulnessandawkwardness,

tendernessandtragedytocreateadualityintheworkthatgeneratesanempathetic

responseforbothanimalsandhumanssimultaneously.Myworkchallengeshistoricaland

contemporaryrepresentationsoftheanimalwiththeintentiontoexpresshowanimalsand

theirconditionofbeingechoourownbybothhonoringtheanimalasautonomousandas

anemblemofthehumancondition.

Ashumanswehaveaneedanddesireforintimacyandconnectionwithothers.We

haveaneedtofindrelatability,relationshipsandconnectionsintheotherthroughmind

andbody.Deprivedofintimacyinmyeverydayrelations,Ihavedevelopedastrongneed

forphysicalandemotionalintimacywithmyprocessandsubject.Iworkwithwatercolor

pencilsinbothasensitiveandcrudemannerusingmysweatandsaliva,handsandfingers

tomanipulatethematerialontopaper.Thispersonalanddirectconnection,muchlike

1EileenCrist.ImagesofAnimals:AnthropomorphismandAnimalMind.Philadelphia:TempleUniversityPress,2000;pp.55


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caressingorgroomingananimal,givesmetheintimacyIneedintheworkasIbringthe

animalintobeing.Thisintimacyisbothconstructiveanddestructive,lacedequallywith

desireandfear,presenceandabsence.Drawingbecomesaplaceforintimacythatallows

fortouchingthesubjectwhenactualtouchisatoncedesiredanddaunting.

(Fig.1)JenMarieZeleznak, ClandestineHeartachesBuriedYearsDeepinStagnantDays,watercolorpencilonpaper,2011

Itisthroughthisblack[oftheiris]thatweconfrontthegazeofananimal,partlywithfear,

withcuriosity,withfamiliarity,withmystery.Weseeourselvesinitseyeswhilstsensingthe

irreconcilableothernessofanintelligenceorderedaroundaworldwecanshareinbodybut

notinmind.2BillViola

IhavebeeninterestedinanimalsforaslongasIcanremember.Onlyrecently,

however,havetheyappearedinmywork.Growingup,Iwasafraidofmostwildanimals

becauseitwasingrainedintomymindthattheycouldhurtme,thoughIneverunderstood

whytheywouldwantto.ItwasonlywithinthelasttenyearsthatImovedbeyondthose

2BillViola.ReasonsForKnockingAtAnEmptyHouse:Writings1973-1994.London:Thames&Hudson.pp.143.


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irrationalfearsanddecidedtostudythem,readaboutthemandinteractwiththem,

becauseIwantedtoknowthetruth.Iwantedtofindoutformyselfwhatitisaboutthese

nuisanceanimalsthatevokesuchafearanddisgustinmostpeople.

However,Ididnotfindfearanddisgust.Ifoundadeepconnectionwhenobserving

andunderstandingtheirsocialrelationships.Ifeltmyselfempatheticallyrespondingtomy

ownperceptionsabouttheseanimalsanddirectlyrelatingthemtomyownexperiences

andrelationships.Istartedusingnuisanceanimalsinmyworkwithinthelasttwoyears.

MovingfromtheNortheasttotheSouth,Ifoundmyselfsurroundedbyanentirelynew

ecosystem.Itwascompletelyforeigntome.Ididntfeelconnectedtothenaturehere.It

wasinthatrealizationthatIbegantofeelnostalgicforthenatureofNortheasternOhio,

whereIgrewupandspentmyentirelifeupuntilthispoint.Imissedtheraccoons,

possums,skunksanddeer.IfeltalossforsomethingIfearedforsolong.Iwassearching

foraconnectedness.Ihadaneedtoformanintimacywiththeseanimalsinmydrawings,

tofulfillanemptinessinmylife.

Empathyisfundamentallyanattemptattranslatingfeelingsbydrawingupon

pathos.Ashumans,wehavetotransformananimalintoahumanbeinginordertoattempt

tounderstandtheother.Weattachourownconsciousnesstoananimalandauto-affectedly

respondwithhumanemotionstowardsthem,treatingthemasthoughtheywerecapableof

response.Thisisessentiallyanactofanthropomorphism,whichperpetuatesasatisfying

relationshipwiththosewedesiretoknowbutarenotabletounderstand.

Animalexistenceisessentiallythoughtofasseparatefromhumans.Wehave

createdanartificialboundarybetweenourselvesandotheranimals.Theuniquecapacityof

thehumanmindisoneofthefewthingsthatseparateusfromotheranimalsandisthe


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conceptualfoundationuponwhichevolutionhasbeenbuilt.Aswehavecreatedtheillusion

ofcontrolthroughmentalconcepts,ithasbeenimbeddedinthehumanmindthatanimals

havenocontrolovertheirownlives.Wehaveimposedsomanythoughtsandconcepts

ontotheanimalthatthereseemstobenowayofgoingbacktotheanimalaspurely

autonomous.Througheonsofexploitationsandmisunderstandings,thereisaninabilityto

accepttheirconditionofexistenceassimilartoourown.

Aparadoxexistsinneedinganimalstodefinewhatsdistinctlyhuman.Ashumans,

weseektomoveforwardbutleaveanimalsbehind.Wehavedevelopedastronginterestin

alienbeingsassomethingpossiblymoreintelligentthanourselves,yetbelieveanimals

lackthecapacitytoreasonandaretoofamiliarinconsideringthepossibilityofnewtruths.

Withanimalscomefeelingsofsentiment,apathy,orsomewhereinbetween.That

somewhereinbetweenisasignificantspaceinwhichconflict,struggle,andpossibilitiesof

newthoughtcanexist.Iattempttounderstandthisinmydrawings.

Thereissomethingaboutlookingintotheeyesofananimal,andfeelingthegaze

reciprocatedbytheother,eitherinfearorcomfort.Itiseasytofeelpotentialrelatabilityin

thefaceofananimalbecauseitechoesourownfeaturesandexpressions.Irealizedthe

feelingsofsentimentassociatedwiththeanimalfaceandanimalgaze,andIknewitwas

notjustthefacethatwascapableofexpressingemotion.Itwasthroughthatrealization

thatmyworkbegantoemphasizegestureandintroduceanambiguity,anuncertainty,

whichwasnecessary.Forexample,Iwasinterestedindepictingaskunkturnedawayfrom

theviewersoastoconcealtheface.(Fig.2)


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(Fig.2)JenMarieZeleznak, ToNeverFeelOurWingsMeltingNo.2 ,watercolorpencilonpaper,2011

Skunksareusuallylookedatinfearanddisgustduetotheirinstinctualbehaviorsof

sprayingfoulodorsasadefensemechanism.Skunksarenotthoughtofasgracefulor

elegant,butratheruglyandrepulsive.Isoughttoemphasizethetendernessandsensitivity

oftheskunkthroughanunconventionalgesturethatopensuptheviewerintoconsidering

newwaysofseeingthisanimal.Thegestureisseeminglytragicandgraceful,yetrevealsa

certainvulnerabilitythatinducesanempatheticresponse.Theskunkfluctuatesbetween

beingperceivedasaliveanddead,byengagingavisualperceptualshift.ThoughIdraw


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fromimagesofdeadanimalsinvariousendingsituations,Iseektoinfusetheanimalwitha

differentkindofenergy.Thisenergy,inducedbytheperceptualshift,createsanallusionto

givinginorresistinganoutsideforce,emphasizingtheserenityofsurrender,asignificant

aspectofboththeanimalsconditionofbeingandthehumancondition.

Theconditionofbeinghasalwaysbeencomplexandmysterious,aswetrytoexist

andfindmeaningintheworld.Animalshavebeenasubjectinartsincehumanbeingsfirst

begantoexpressthemselvesinavisuallanguage.Animalimageryinartevolvedashistory

progressedanditseemedtoconveythefundamentalrelationshipsbetweenhumansand

animalsthroughouteachparticulartimeperiod.Thelanguageofsymbolsbecamemore

complexandimagesofanimalsaboutanimalsevolvedintoimagesofanimalsaboutus.

Beastlyanimalsweretransformedintohumanizedanimals,dilutingtheiranimalnature.

Thefirstevidenceofanimalsassubjectsdatesbacktoover40,000years,tothePaleolithic

Period.(Fig.3)

(Fig.3)LascauxCavePaintings,rawpigmentonrock,circa25,000B.C.


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Theactofpaintingtheseanimalswasthoughtofasamysticalandritualisticmeansof

evokingaspirit,anattemptofcontrol.However,manytheoriesaboutthemeaningofthese

cavepaintingshaveremainedcontroversialastherearenoconcretesourcesfromwhichto

drawinformation,otherthantheremainsofwhatwasleftbehind.Thisnotionofthe

animalasspiritualandsacredcarriedonthroughtheEgyptianandRomantimeperiods,

whereanimalsbegantobeassociatedwithmythicaliconsanddivinespirits,symbolsof

eachrespectiveculture.

Sincethen,representationofanimalsbegantotakeonmoreintimateand

naturalisticdepictionsasartists,suchasAlbrechtDurerandJean-BaptistOudry,

consideredtheanimalasaserioussubjectinart.Theybegantousetheanimalas

autonomousinstilllifeimagery,divorcedfromanyimplicationsofsymbolism.(Fig.4and

Fig.5)However,duringthistime,thedepictionsofanimalsweregenerallyinterpretedas

socialdocumentations,commissions,andpatronagestatussymbols.Theseworks

showcasedtheartiststechnicalskills,personalinterestsandcuriosityofnature,butseem

voidofempatheticmeaning.


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(Fig.4)AlbrechtDurer,Hare,watercolorpencilonpaper1502

(Fig.5)Jean-BaptistOudry, HareandaLegofLamb,oiloncanvas,1742

Animalshavebeenusedassymbolsindiverseworldculturesandindifferenterasof

humanhistory.Animalarttransitionedanddevelopedintomoreprofoundphilosophical

implications,andshowedparallelswiththescientificdiscoveriesandculturalchangesof


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thetime.Forexample,acknowledgmentofanimalrightsandenvironmentalethicswere

surfacing,respondingtotheuseofanimalsforscientificandmedicalexperimentationto

advancehumanityandtobenefithumandesires.Animalrightsencompasstheideathatthe

mostbasicinterestsofanimalsshouldbeaffordedthesameconsiderationasthesimilar

interestsofhumanbeings.

InImagesofAnimals:AnthropomorphismandtheAnimalMind,EileenCristdescribes

togreatlengthstheNaturalistsportrayalofanimallife,relativeto19thcenturyanimal

artists.Cristsetsouttogiveaccountsofanimallifethatarefaithfulrepresentations,and

explainsitthroughtheconceptofVerstehen,whichinvolvessubjectiveimportofaction

soastogainanunderstandingofanimalsanditsconnectionwithhumanlife.Inconnection

tothisconcept,phenomenologistAlfredSchutzarguesthatthehumansocialworldis

experiencedfromtheoutsetasameaningfulonetheOthersbodyisnotexperiencedasan

organismbutasafellow-man.3Wegainknowledge,eveniffragmentary,fromeveryday

relationshipsandexperiences.Meaningcreatedfromtheseexperiencesofpractical

perceivingandreasoningthroughiswherethemeaningofothersactionsisunderstood.

Thatistosayactionsaremeaningfulandtheirmeaningsareessentiallyavailable.Meaning

ofanimallifeisconveyedasinternallyconstitutiveofthebehaviorsandeventsdepicted.4

InconnectiontoDarwin,thisanthropomorphicprocess,withthefoundationofalanguage

basedonhumanassociations,impliesthattheNaturalistspointofviewistointenda

realisticdepictionofanimallifeintheirnaturalhabitats.(Fig.6)

3AlfredSchutz.ThePhenomenologyoftheSocialWorld.Oxford:HeinemannEducational,1972;pp.554EileenCrist.ImagesofAnimals:AnthropomorphismandAnimalMind.Philadelphia:TempleUniversityPress,2000;pp.53


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(Fig.6)JohnJamesAudubon, VirginiaOpossum,coloredengraving,1845

Increasinglydrawingattentiontoanoldphilosophicaldebate,artbegantoemerge

inwhichanimalswererepresentedascapableofself-reflection,asanthropomorphizedto

greaterorlesserdegrees.Animalartinthe19thcenturybegantorespondtodisputes

regardingthestatusofanimalsandanti-crueltymovements,andresultedinagrowing

sympathytowardsanimals.Manyoftheworksmadeduringthistimehadaheightened

senseofromanticimaginationandemotionaldrama.19thcenturyartists,suchasTheodore

GericaultandEdwinLandseer,oftendepictedanimalsindistressthatimbuedthemwith

humanemotions.(Fig.7andFig.8)InTheExpressionofEmotioninManandAnimals,

Darwinproposedthepossibilityofanimalconsciousnessasdirectlywitnessedthrough

variousformsofreasoningandobservation.Heacknowledgestherelevanceofdescribing

statesofbeinginanimals,andthesubtletiesandcomplexitiesofexperiencethatthese

conceptsimply.5Darwinhasascertainedthatmanywell-knownmodesofexpressionare

essentiallyuniversal,suchasthatofhappiness,love,sorrowandgrief.Inordertodepict

5CharlesDarwin.TheExpressionofEmotioninManandAnimal.Filiquarian.2007.


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animalsthatseemtoexudehumanemotions,theyareessentiallyromanticizedand

dramatic,otherwisetheyseemstagnantandvoidofmeaning.

(Fig.7)TheodoreGericault, StudyofaDeadCat,oiloncanvas,1822

(Fig.8)EdwinLandseer,StudyofaDeadStag,oiloncardboard,1802-1873


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Personificationhasburdenedtheanimalinartsincethe17thcentury,causingthe

subjectoftheanimaltobeeasilydismissed.Ininvestigatingthecomplexissuesofanimal

representationinvariousstatesofstagnation,oneoftheprominentconcernsseemstolie

inanthropomorphismandaseemingfearofsentiment.Formuchofthe20thcentury,the

depictionofanimalsinartwasregardedakitschysubjectandfurthermore,undeservingof

seriousconsideration.SteveBaker,contemporaryartcriticandanimaltheorist,is

interestedintheanimalskeyroleinPostmodernismandContemporaryart.Hesuggested

thatcontemporaryartistsengaginganimalrepresentationseemtobeshiftingfromthe

historicalnatureofsymbolandmetaphor,andmovingmoretowardsembracingawkward,

provisional,andratherunflatteringidentitiesgettingclosetotheanimalwithout

worryingtoomuchabouttheconsequences.6

Thereisanintriguingshiftawayfromthekitschy,sentimentalanimaland

traditionalwildlifeillustrationsthathasseemedtoplagueanimalrepresentationinartfor

quitesometimenow.Bakerfeelsthattheproblemwithartsmorestraightforwardly

realistic,beautiful,orsentimentalrepresentationsofanimalsisthatourveryfamiliarity

withthemrendersthedepictedanimaleffectivelyinvisible.ThisthoughtbyBaker

provokesafreeingoftheanimalfromitsrepresentationalburdensandinsincere

associations.Embracingthenuancesofanimalitywithuncertaintyandcuriosity,Baker

suggeststhatthereneedstobeatypeofrupturetothehistoryofanimalrepresentation;to

seektore-define,orconceivablyun-define,ourexperienceoflookingatanimals.Itinvolves

anavoidanceoftheeasy,theattempttoturnmeaningsaroundandabeliefinthe

possibilityofusingarttoseeanimalsdifferently.Withinsignificantcontemporaryanimal

6SteveBaker.AllCreaturesGreatandSmall.LectureNotes:February16,2010.ZachetaandtheBritishEmbassyinWarsaw.pp.4


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artthereseemstobeaninterdependenceofengagingwithunfamiliarorcontradictory

representations.Asaconsequence,manyartistsarechoosingtodisengagetheanimalasa

symbolandmetaphor,inapostmodernattempttoun-framethewaywelookatanimals.

Thisissignificantinthemoltingawayofpreconceptionsandfamiliaridentities,aswellas

findingaspaceforconsideringtruthsaboutourselvesasmuchasthepossibilityoftruths

inanimals.

(Fig.9)SimenJohn,WhentheKingdomComes(Untitled),digitalphotograph,2008

Contemporaryartistsengagingtheanimalrelyheavilyontheviewersabilitytosee

andinterpretanalternativeviewoftheworld.Forexample,SimenJohan,acontemporary

Swedishphotographer,playswithreality,illusion,andbelievabilitythroughdepicting

strangeandslightlyoffsituations.Forexample,inanuntitledworkfromthe2006series,


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WhentheKingdomComes,Johanpresentsafoxcoupleintheforegroundofavastterrainof

whatappearstobeanovercastdrearywinterday.(Fig.9)Eloquentlyposed,thefoxcouple

appearsindistressastheysquintwithtearsdrainingfromtheireyesandtheirnoses

coveredindriedblood.Theyaredepictedinoppositiontotheirsymbolicmeaningof

clevernessandadaptability.Clearly,thesefoxesexpresssignsofwearinessandaninability

towithstandtheircurrentconditions.Thenegationofsymbolismfunctionstoun-frame

associationsonemighthavehadaboutfoxesingeneral,providingthepossibilityofnew

knowledgethattheviewercanfindtruthin.

Nonetheless,thesheerbelievabilityofthisimageisarrestingandbeautifully

unsettling.Johansflawlesstechnicalabilityinlarge-scalephotomontageissowell-

renderedthatitsuccessfullykeepstheviewerfrombeingtoodistractedbythefactthat

theseimageshavebeenmanipulated,allowingtheviewertorespondtothestrife-ridden

humanisticexpressionsthefoxesaresoeloquentlyemoting.Thoughtheanimalsmight

appearpersonified,asJohanrepresentstheminaworldseethingwithlife,theymore

significantlyprovideallusionstoexistentialexperienceswhilesimultaneously

transformingthewaywelookatanimals.


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(Fig.10)GeorgeBoorujy,DeerNearEnnis,inkonpaper,2004

Contemporaryartist,GeorgeBoorujy,transformsthewaywelookatanimalsashe

engagesnegativespaceinhisworktopsychologicallyactivatethespace.(Fig.10)Thisputs

theanimalsinhisdrawingsnecessarilyoutofcontext,whichinturnmakestheviewerlook

atitmorecloselyandquestionit.Hisdrawingsessentiallyworkoneverylevel,each

providingdifferentimpact,sensationorexperiencedependingonwhateachrespective

viewerbringstotheworkorthattheyareopentorelatingtoitinanewway.Boorujysuse

ofpositiveandnegativespacecreatesanemotional,inwardspace.Thereisnophysical

placetoassociatewiththesubject.Thenaturalenvironmentandcontextaviewerwould

expectismissing.Itbecomesanintangible,yetperceptivelyrealspace;aspaceofthemind.


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Idealism,withitstravellingcompaniondoubt,isdrivenbyamisplacedbeliefinperfectiona

conceptsettinganinaccurateroutetowhat-might-have-been,tothepast,andevento

perfectionitself.Isthereamethodmorepertinentthanperfectiontothewaysweunderstand

ourplaceintheworld,andinwhichartcancomplicatewhatwethinkweknow?7

-LisaLeFeuvre||Failure

(Fig.11)JenMarieZeleznak,WithWholeHeartsYetBrokenWords,watercolorpencilonpaper,2011

Imakeworkfromacertainemotionalspacethatisfullofnegativity,painandloss.I

donotknowhowtomakeworkfromanyotheremotionalspacethanthis.Itisfromthe

desireandabsenceoftheotherinmypersonalrelationshipsthatmotivatesmetocreate,

andthatIcreatefrom.Imakeworkfromafamiliarspace;aspaceofpsychologicaltorment.

Whatisknowniswhatissought,evenifwhatisknowniswounding.8Violationsofthis

spacecreatementalinstability,deliberateorunforeseen.Ihaveanirrationalfearofmaking

art.ThatfearexistsbecauseIcreateunnecessaryanxietyinthatImightnotbeableto

7LisaLeFeuvre.Failure.Whitechapel:DocumentsofContemporaryArt.MITPress.2010.8JamesHollis.TheEdenProject:InSearchoftheMagicalOther.Toronto,Ont.:InnerCityBooks.1998.


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reachtheemotionalspacethatIneedtocreatefrom.Itinducesacompulsivedesireto

repeatemotionaltragedies.IfIdonotoccupythatemotionalspace,Idesperatelyseeka

waytogetthere.ItistheonlywayIknowhowtoperpetuateanemotionalexperience.

Dr.FrankTallis,authorofLovesick:LoveasaMentalIllness,assertsthatartistsenjoy

themotivationalbenefitsofemotionaldistress.Onedevelopsafinelytunedsenseof

intenseemotionalexperiences.Inordertocreatearttriggeredfromintenseemotional

experiences,theartistmustthenfocusonthatexperienceorideainanobsessivemanner

tobringitintobeing.AccordingtoDr.Tallis,artistschosetocourtemotionalturmoilto

enhancetheircreativity.Byself-perpetuatingviciouscyclesofraptureanddespair,creative

potentialisreleasedbecausesuddenlytherearewordsandvisualimagestoexpressour

feelings.9

Thisself-fulfillingprophecyisthefoundationofmyartisticpractice,whereIfind

myselfconstantlybattlingmyinnercritic,ineverydayrelationshipsandtheprocessof

creating.Theseconflictingfeelingsofthemindandoftheheartseemtocomplicatereality

versusactualityandtherationalversustheirrational.Aninstilledfearofnotbeingableto

gettothatemotionalspacetocreateleadstoobsessive-compulsivepatterns;toseek

controloftheotherorthecircumstancesthatofferstheillusionofcontrol.Myprocessand

mysubjectinvolveinducingvariablesthatstruggle.Icreatethemtoforcemyselfto

experienceemotionalturmoilbyestrangingsocialandromanticrelationships,whether

realorimagined.Itendsupbecomingveryrealeitherway.Thisself-sabotagingcycle

createshardshipswheretherewerenoneandruinsrelationshipsbeforetheyevenbegin.

9FrankTallis.LoveSick:LoveasaMentalIllness.NewYork:Thunder'sMouthPress.2005.


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Thisprocessofcreatingisatonceconstructiveanddestructive.Thoughitmaybe

wounding,Iknownootheremotionalconditiontocreatefrom,nordoIwantto.

(Fig.12)JenMarieZeleznak, ForgettheBackwardsWalkThroughLiminalWindowsYouNeverKnewExisted,

watercolorpencilonpaper,2011

IfindmyselfinaconstantstateofconflictasImovebetweentherolesofmakerand

viewer.Asamaker,Ifindmyselfinanguishasmyinnercriticrendersthecreativeprocess

excruciatinglypainful.Irelentlesslyfeeltheneedtocreateamagnumopus.Thereisno


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greyareainbetween,butratherpsychologicalburdensandconsequences.Thiswayof

thinkinghasbeeningrainedinmeeversinceIstartedmakingart.Theseemingly

unnecessaryhardshipsIcreateformyselfareessentiallynecessary.Theycomplementand

confirmallusionsofmyfixationwithvariablesthatstruggle.Thereisalotofpaininthe

buildingupofemotionsthatbecomethemotivationtomakethework.Thoughtherigidity

inmystudiopracticeandestrangedeverydayrelationshipsarecrippling,thereisapayoff

intheend,asaviewer,thatfillsavoidifevenforamoment.AsaviewerIfeelmovedbythe

imagesIcreatebecauseoftheultimateemotivenatureofthework.ThisisthemovingartI

wanttobesurroundedbyandthetypeofartthatIfeelislackingintheworld.Thisisthe

reasonforperseverance.Thisisthereasonformakingart.

(Fig.13)JenMarieZeleznak, Study,graphiteonvellum,2011

Ispendhoursuponendonaquestfortheperfectimage.Thisperfectimagetendsto

embodyanaffectinggesturethatspeakstothepainsofthehumancondition.Obsessively

lookingatimagesofanimalsinvariousendingsituations,veryfewmakeitintomy

collectionofpotentialsourcematerial.Notallimagesofanimals,deadoralive,lend

themselvestoexpressingthepainsofthehumancondition.Deadanimalsareconstantly


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presentonthesideoftheroadyetmostpeoplethinknothingofit.Wearequicktodismiss

theseeminginsignificanceoftheirlife.

ThelifelessanimalgesturesIhavecometoemotionallyrelateto,expressadeeply

emotivemomentofabsenceandsurrender.(Fig.13)Iseektopreservethosemomentsin

mydrawings.ItisnecessarythattheimagesIchoosebetruetotheanimalsform.Iam

interestedinmaintainingtheirgesturesandexperiencessoastohonortheauthenticityof

theanimalsconditionofbeing.TheunalterednaturalgestureIamsearchingforpoints

towardsactualanimalemotionsandexperiencesthatIrelatetohumanemotions.Iseeka

feelingandsensationintheimagesthatmoveme.Tobemovedbysomethingisanintuitive

response,apurefeeling,andtheperceptualabilitytoknowwithoutknowinghowyou

know.ItisthatimmediatefeelingthattheimagesIseekgiveme,fromaplacebeyondthe

thinkingmind,aconsciousexpressioninthepresentmoment.

However,itcouldbeweeksbeforeIdecidetopursuethoseimagesandtranslate

themintoadrawing.IjustwanttobesuretheimageisreallyspeakingtomeinthewayI

imaginedittobe.OnceIdecidetheimagespotential,Itracecontoursoftheanimalsonto

vellum.(Fig.14)Sometimestherearemultipletracingsofthesameimagesoastobring

twodisparatefigurestogetherortocontemplatecomposition.Thisstageisimportantto

myprocessastakingtheanimalsoutoftheiroriginalcontextofthephotographintoaline

drawingbringstheimagesoftheanimalsintoaformdevoidoftheiroriginalmeaningand

associations.


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supposedtobe,thathasbeeninstilledthroughclassicalstandardsofrenderingaperfected

image.ThoughIknowdrawingisnotlimitedtomimeticrepresentation,Icanthelpbutfeel

constantlyburdenedbyahistoricalstandardthatsimplydoesnotexisttoday.Ifear

drawingandyetIchoosetodraw,deliberatelyputtingmyselfinapositiontofeel

inadequateanduncomfortable.Anxiousscribblesandneuroticmark-makinghastilyfillin

theanimalform.Thesemarksarethenquicklyeradicatedandobfuscatedbecausethey

werentgoodenough.Thisprocessofrevealingandconcealingrepeatsitselfoverandover

againinhopesthatafterrepeatingthisprocesssomanytimes,themaskedlayersofmarks

willappearconfident.Idonotmakemarkswithconfidence.Ihavenevermademarkswith

confidence.IhavealwaysfelttheneedtoblendthemarksImake,perhapstocoverupthe

insecuritiesIfeelwhendrawing.Theobsessive-compulsivelayering,ofwhatbecome

blendedmarks,speaktothefactthatallofthepreviousoneswerenotgoodenough.The

viewerwill,morethanlikely,neverknowthis.Initsfinishedstate,layersofgradientsand

nuancesofcolorareblendedtogetherlikeacolor-fieldembodiedwithinaform.Imeditate

inthesemoments.


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(Fig.15)JenMarieZeleznak, IFadefromMyself,andMissYouAgain,watercolorpencilonpaper,2011

Strictlyspeaking,projectionisnevermade;ithappens,itissimplythere.Inthe

darknessofanythingexternaltomeIfind,withoutrecognizingitassuch,aninterioror

psychiclifethatismyownSuchprojectionsrepeatthemselveswhenevermantriestoexplore

anemptydarknessandinvoluntarilyfillsitwithlivingform.10-Jung

Iusetheanimalasameanstoexploreboththeanimalandthehumancondition.I

drawfromextremelypersonalexperiences,suchasstrugglesinmyromanticrelationships

andstudiopracticeasanartist.Iamabletodistancemyselffromthemthroughtheanimal,

astheythenbecomearepresentationofanexperience,andnotnecessarilytheactual

10Marie-LouiseVonFranz.ProjectionandRe-CollectioninJungianPsychology.OpenCourtPublishingCompany.1985.pp.73-74


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experienceitself.Itbecomesself-referential;arepresentationofitsownpathos,aportrait

ofitsowngesture.I,asmuchastheviewer,needtoseeitassomeoneelseotherthan

ourselves.AccordingtoDerrida,Wearenotourselveswithoutrepresentationsthat

mediateus,anditisthroughthoserepresentationsthatemotionsgetfelt.11Thisisthe

innermostspacebetweenthinkingandbeing.Theanimal,withaprojectedconsciousness,

beginstospeaktousinourownlanguagewhiletheimageoftheotheralsoremainsintact.

Thepluralityofthismulti-layered,intenseandmysteriousprocessinducesapsycho-

physiologicalexperienceintheviewer,notmerelycognitive.Therefore,thepsychological

animalisexperiencedasanimageanditistheimagethatgeneratestheexperienceofthe

actualanimal,inbodyandmind.Theanimalremainsautonomous,yetsimultaneouslyis

themediumthroughwhichIattempttoarticulateandreflectonmyownexperiences.

Throughoutmywork,Iportrayandprojectmyselfontotheanimalasameansto

explorethedamagedpsychewhilealsohonoringactualgesturesandexperiencesofthe

animal.Theanimalisrenderedintoisolation,soastofocusinwardonabsenceof

connectionsandunfulfilleddesires.Iattempttogiveanintangibleforceavoicethrougha

subjectthatisessentiallyunabletospeakforitself.Iwantbothconversations,aboutthe

humanconditionandtheanimalcondition.Theapproximatedrepresentationscreate

relatabilitybetweentheworkandtheviewer,andtheworkandmyselfthatisnecessary.

Theanimalsremainessentiallytruetoformandgesture,notexaggeratedorintentionally

anthropomorphized.Mytorturedprocessisinformedbyhumanemotion,byloneliness,

desireandobsession.Theseemotionsaretranslatedintheneurosisofmyprocess.The

obsessivemarkmaking,ormeansofrenderingtheanimalform,mimicsthefurwhilealso

11ReiTerada.FeelinginTheory:EmotionAftertheDeathoftheSubject.Cambridge,Mass.:HarvardUniversityPress.2001.pp.21


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beingemblematicofthedepthandcomplexityoftheanimalanditsemotiveform.Italso

becomesemblematicofthecomplexityofhumanemotions.

Thelackofenvironmentisasuggestiontowardamentallyandpsychologically

chargedspace;aspacethatalludestoexistentialistviewsonthehumanconditionsuchas

lack,loss,disconnect,anduncertainty.Thisspaceallowsaconnectiononanemotional

humanlevelbydepictingtheanimalsoutoftheiroriginalcontextintoanegativespacethat

becomesintrospectiveandinternal.Thepsychologicalimplicationsofthisspaceareboth

discomfortingandfamiliar;thereisatoncebothapresenceandanabsence.

Theintimacyandempatheticnatureofmyprocessspeakstomyfidelitytowardsthe

animalasemotiveandautonomous,justasmyfidelitytowardstheexpressionofmy

emotionsofmypersonalexperiencesspeakstothepainsofthehumancondition.Itisin

thisdualitythatthereisroomtothinkaboutpsychologicalandsocialissuesconcerning

boththehumanandtheanimal.