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Love Your NEIGHBOR A FIELD GUIDE FOR ADOPTING YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

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Page 1: Love Your NEIGHBORin usÓ (1 John 4:12b). This is where we enter the story. If the world is going to see God, to know GodÕs love, it is up to us. Go into all the world and make disciples,

Love Your

NEIGHBORA FIELD GUIDE FOR ADOPTING

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Page 2: Love Your NEIGHBORin usÓ (1 John 4:12b). This is where we enter the story. If the world is going to see God, to know GodÕs love, it is up to us. Go into all the world and make disciples,

Love Your

NEIGHBORA FIELD GUIDE FOR ADOPTING

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

Page 3: Love Your NEIGHBORin usÓ (1 John 4:12b). This is where we enter the story. If the world is going to see God, to know GodÕs love, it is up to us. Go into all the world and make disciples,

Love Your

NEIGHBORA FIELD GUIDE FOR ADOPTING

YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

GARY KENDALL

PHILADELPHIA

Page 4: Love Your NEIGHBORin usÓ (1 John 4:12b). This is where we enter the story. If the world is going to see God, to know GodÕs love, it is up to us. Go into all the world and make disciples,

is love1 JOHN 4:8 NIV

God

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5

L ove is why you are here. Love is what keeps you here. When

John wanted to choose one word to describe God, he chose

love. Love is not only an action God performs. Love is who

God is. God is love.

If we are the children of God, it makes total sense that we will

be people who love. Later in the same passage John says that, when

we love one another, “God lives in us and his love is made complete

in us” (1 John 4:12b).

This is where we enter the story. If the world is going to see God,

to know God’s love, it is up to us. Go into all the world and make

disciples, Jesus said, but he didn’t leave us step-by-step directions.

So where do we start?

We start with love.

This is a field guide to living every day in that mission. Start with

those in your sphere of influence—your job, your neighborhood,

your friends, your extended family—and let God love through you.

This is intended as a primer that you can digest in 30 minutes or

less; you have the rest of your life to put it into practice. It’s based

on the simple structure of “prayer, care and share.”

The idea for this tool came in support of the “What if the Church

Loves Kansas City?” project, directed by Matt Adams. He and his

leadership team boldly challenge churches across Kansas City to

love well and often. The hope is that churches will form triads of

partnership. Pastors will exchange speaking stages. Churches will

pray together, worship together and serve together. The ministry

project in 2018 is for congregation members to adopt their neigh-

borhoods. How will this work? Keep reading.

Page 6: Love Your NEIGHBORin usÓ (1 John 4:12b). This is where we enter the story. If the world is going to see God, to know GodÕs love, it is up to us. Go into all the world and make disciples,

You Were Made

for ThisBy this everyone will know that you are

my disciples, if you love one another.

JOHN 13:35 NIV

1

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7

T he stories of the Bible are packed with potency! An expert

in the law wanted to test Jesus in an attempt to trap him

into saying something incriminating. Teacher, which is the

greatest commandment in the Law?

I love the way Jesus boiled all the law and prophets down to

two great commandments: loving God and loving your neighbor. He

had a way of taking the complex and making it simple. We tend to

do the opposite—just like the legal expert who asked, “Who is my

neighbor?”

Jesus went on to tell the parable we call “The Good Samaritan.”

It’s a great story about loving those who enter our sphere of influ-

ence with the love of God. There are many directions this story can

take us. I think about race relations. I identify with the busy sched-

ules of the religious characters. I wonder how the Samaritan knew

how much money to give the hotel owner, and was that really the

best place to leave the guy?

And I forget all about loving my neighbor. I just made this simple

point of Jesus very complex. Jesus doesn’t tell us who our neighbor

is, but how to neighbor. The who is…whoever needs you.

Your NeighborWhat if Jesus meant to love your actual neighbor?

Yes, the one whose furry friend leaves deposits in your yard.

Yes, the one who is loud and thoughtless at times (she thinks the

same about you, by the way). And the one who drives into your yard

and leaves a rut. (Oh, wait, I was the one who did that!)

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Loving your actual neighbor is messy and very personal. You

can’t love your neighbor as yourself from a distance. It requires

involvement, investment. I love the way The Message translates

John 1:14, The Word became flesh and blood, and moved into the

neighborhood. Jesus modeled incarnational living for us. He lived in

love, and he calls us to follow his example.

What if we all did that? How would love change our world?

For one thing, we wouldn’t need mass evangelism tactics or

institutional church strategies. It’s not a marketing pitch. It’s just

God’s love flowing through us. Many non-Christians already know a

disciple of Jesus. If every disciple is committed to a simple lifestyle

of love—love for God and love for their neighbor, the story of Jesus

would become personal and real. Maybe folks would listen. Every-

one longs to love and be loved.

Connecting as Jesus DidIf we define neighbor as those with whom we live, work, study

and play, our sphere of influence would be manageable. In each

of our neighborhoods, people would wake up with someone

praying for them by name, loving them as Jesus loves them—and

loving them enough to share the story of Jesus.

Could it be that simple? I’m convinced Jesus meant it to be.

It is not just the message of Jesus that leads to life. The methods

of Jesus are also compelling. What do we see Jesus do? What did

Jesus talk about? He found common points of interest and engaged

people in conversations that mattered. We can do the same. With

Jesus, anyone is welcome—the child, the know-it-all, the widow,

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the needy, the one with a past. His message and methods work

together; they shouldn’t be separated.

Isn’t this what it means to be a disciple: to follow Jesus, to do his

work in his way? A disciple reproduces and even multiplies his faith

by living on mission every day. A disciple makes disciples who make

disciples until the whole world knows.

It starts with loving God and loving your neighbor.

You are hard-wired for this. Loving isn’t something you need to

go to school to do. It comes naturally. The Holy Spirit of Jesus, who

lives within every believer, will prepare the way. Let the Spirit live

and work through you.

The key characteristic of a disciple is not knowledge, but obe-

dience. “Knowledge” puffs up but love builds up (1 Corinthians 8:1,

RSV). Don’t equate discipleship with knowledge. Disciples imitate

their leader.

In what ways are you practicing the methods of Jesus?

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I have called you friends.

JESUS, IN JOHN 15:15 NIV

Making and

Being a

Friend

2

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Y our neighborhood may have fences, or lawns that adjoin.

You might live in an apartment, with people above and

below you. You could live on a farm, so your nearest neigh-

bor is a quarter-mile away. There are many unique ways we share

this big green-and-blue ball we call earth.

Sometimes our “neighbors” are those who share that geogra-

phy with us, but we can also expand our definition to include those

within our sphere of influence.

The Bible uses the Greek word oikos. The basic translation is

“house,” but there is another meaning. Oikos can also describe

a group of connected people—your immediate household, your

extended family, but possibly also neighbors, coworkers, and

friends. To put it another way, your oikos includes those with whom

you have regular contact. We could call this our sphere of influence.

After casting a mob of demons out of one man, Jesus told him

to go back to his oikos and tell the story (Luke 8:39). The apostle

Paul told his jailer that trusting Christ would bring salvation to him

and his oikos (Acts 16:31). And this is repeated often in Scripture.

A government official (John 4:53), a synagogue leader (Acts 18:8),

and a tax collector (Luke 19:9) each come to faith in Jesus—and

the blessings extend to each man’s oikos. Whatever that sphere of

influence was, we can see that salvation spread quickly through the

social circle. While the restored demoniac wanted to travel with

Jesus and the disciples, Jesus sent him back to his friends and

family. They would know better than anyone the transformation that

took place. That was the man’s best place of ministry.

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Creating CommunityNowadays, people are tempted to live in a singular, separated,

individual way, in cocoons of our own making. There is terror on

the news and in our schools, so we have deadbolts and fences.

Electronic devices compete for our private attention every

waking moment, but even online chats turn into arguments. We

over-medicate to numb ourselves from life’s accumulated losses.

We are lonely, even while surrounded by people.

This is the state of humanity—desperate for community, but

clueless about creating it.

The Bible reminds us that community is often the best arena for

the Good News of Jesus. Faith tends to fill a household, overflowing

to a whole sphere of influence. Jesus can still “move into a neighbor-

hood”—through you.

How will this happen?

It starts with the simple connections that create community. Be

present for your neighbors—for all those with whom you work, live,

study, or play. Be a friend, a loving, caring, listening friend.

Are there people you see regularly? Maybe they are the parents

of the other players on your son’s soccer team. You sit with them

every couple of days in the summer. What about the barista at your

favorite coffee shop? Do you often see the same checkout lady at

the department store? Could you learn their names? Could you start

a conversation? Could you be available if God wants to touch their

lives through you? How could God use you to carry his love?

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Who Is in Your Oikos?Much of this connecting can happen naturally, once you open

the door. But it wouldn’t hurt to do some thinking about it. Who

does your oikos include? Ask God to bring to mind people in

your sphere of influence. Write down their names and pray for

them by name. As you pray, consider what God has in store for

those people.

Is there a group to which you feel called? Or is God sending you

to an individual? How is the Spirit prompting you?

Perhaps God has placed you where you live, work, study or play

for a specific purpose you haven’t considered yet. You may be the

only believer in someone’s life, or you may be part of a tag team,

sharing God’s message over a period of years.

In our marketing-savvy world, we sometimes turn the Good

News into a sales pitch, and our friends into targets. Steer clear of

that. God places these people on your heart because he loves them

and wants a relationship with them. Your mission is to share that

love with them.

So presence is more important than perfection. Be genuinely

interested in the life of these friends, before you try to interest them

in your pursuits. Listen. Ask open-ended questions. Reserve judg-

ment. Invest. Lean into their concerns. Don’t have an agenda except

for God’s agenda. Have the patience to see what God will do.

And then be ready for whatever happens.

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Adopting Your NeighborhoodOne of my neighbors, Lorenzo, who is a follower of Jesus, was

thinking of moving away from our community when a piercing

question came into his mind. He believed it came from Jesus.

Are you going to move before ever investing in your neighbors?

Tears came to Lorenzo’s eyes as he realized he’d lived in his

neighborhood for years but rarely reached out to his neighbors with

God’s love. Within the next two weeks, he and his wife, Kassie, were

intentional in sharing God’s love in natural ways. They took a meal

to a person fighting cancer. They took cookies to a new couple that

had recently moved in. They ended up praying for another couple

and even got to share their faith in Jesus with another—all because

they began living intentionally.

Now they’ve adopted their neighborhood as the mission field to

which God’s assigned them.

The Prayer, Care, and Share LifestyleSome of us have been taught that following Jesus equals going

to church on Sunday, as if that is our highest calling. We think

discipleship means joining a Bible study group. If we use our

spiritual gift in the church, we reach the zenith of spirituality. Or

so we’ve heard.

But the life God wants for us is so much more.

We might learn something from the practice of dieting. In

an effort to become healthy, some people will go on a crash diet.

Paleo, South Beach, Mediterranean, DASH—you can count calories,

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add protein, work out, or whatever, and chances are that you will

lose weight.

But then what? Will you make long-term changes to your life-

style, or will you revert to long-standing patterns? We all know

that the best way to stay healthy is to address our lifestyle choices.

Eat smaller meals more often. Drink plenty of water. Get adequate

sleep. Exercise early and often. Cut back on sugar. There are many

who lose twenty pounds on a diet and then put on thirty when they

get back to their normal routine—because they’ve never committed

to changing their lifestyle.

Adopting your neighborhood is a lifestyle. It’s a mindset. For

many believers, it’s a paradigm shift. It’s not a list of religious things

to do; it’s a commitment to loving God and loving others in every

area of your life. It is spiritually healthy living.

In the next few chapters we discuss this community-creating,

neighborhood-adopting lifestyle. We call it “prayer, care and share.”

You’ll see numerous stories, best practices and illustrations, but

please don’t view them as tactics to learn. Prayer, care and share is

a way of living that positions us to be available to God and available

to others. It can become as natural as breathing.

Prayer, care and share go together symbiotically. The three

elements are not linear, but they wrap around one another, each

one feeding into the others and drawing from them. Let’s look at

each one individually, but we’ll be sure to put them back together

at the end.

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Love the Lord your God with all your

heart, all your soul, and all your mind.

MATTHEW 22:37 NLT

Prayer3

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17

Y ou can’t give away what you don’t have. There was a rea-

son Jesus started with “love God” before he got to “love

your neighbor.”

Jesus wants to walk with you in an intimate, moment-by-mo-

ment, relationship. He bought you back, redeeming your life so you

could be a friend of the Father. If you could grasp the depth of God’s

love, the width of his forgiveness, and the good thoughts he has for

you—you would be blown away!

Our hearts can’t comprehend the truth that we are the beloved

of God or, as the psalmist says, “the apple of his eye.” He chose us

even while we were in sin, and Jesus endured unspeakable suffering

to save us. Jesus has forgiveness for our sin and grace for our shame.

God is for you not against you. His thoughts toward you are

always loving and kind. Even if there is discipline and correction in

your future, it is out of love and to free you from the bondage of sin.

It is for freedom you are set free.

Now that is good news!

Praying the ScripturesIf you haven’t explored the way God loves, spend the next month

or so in the Scriptures, deepening your understanding of who

God is and what God does. Then let that growing knowledge fuel

your love for God. As I dig into the Word, I often pray, “God, I

want to know you better and love you more.”

Take time daily in God’s Word, the Bible. I read slowly and often

spend time reviewing verses or paragraphs multiple times. This is a

great way to start your day. Usually I sit quietly in a listening posture,

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18

sometimes closing my eyes to block out anything that would inter-

fere. Then I roll the Scripture through my mind, slowing taking in its

truth and praying that God would integrate it into my soul.

I often journal about how a particular Bible passage relates

to my life, considering not only what it says to me but also what I

should do with it. I invite the Holy Spirit to enter into this exercise to

lead me. Daily I ask the Lord to cleanse me and to filter out anything

selfish or sinful.

One of my favorite ways to use Scripture is to pray it back to

God, inserting my life and its situations into the verses. This feels

like I’m talking to God with divinely inspired direction.

Most mornings I listen to a worship song or two on YouTube and

sing along. Praise is a great response to the challenges of my day.

When I express dependence toward God, hope fills my heart. I often

sense the Spirit is near, filling my soul with love. These times in the

morning give me a kingdom perspective for the rest of my day.

We take time daily to fill our bodies with food. Shouldn’t we daily

feed our soul?

This Is How to PrayCheck out how Jesus taught his disciples to pray in what we call

“The Lord’s Prayer.” Pray like this:

Our Father in heaven,

may your name be kept holy.

May your Kingdom come soon.

May your will be done on earth,

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as it is in heaven.

Give us today the food we need,

and forgive us our sins,

as we have forgiven those who sin against us.

And don’t let us yield to temptation,

but rescue us from the evil one.

MATTHEW 6:9-13 NLT

This prayer is intended as a guide for us. Jesus started with

praise and moved to a kingdom focus. He prayed for daily needs.

He reminds us to pray for cleansing and right standing with God

and others. He finishes by praying for victory.

Think about your prayers. Are they well rounded? Do they follow

this pattern? Do you make room for praise daily? Is there a kingdom

focus or do you only ask for your needs to be met? Do you pray for

victory over temptation and rescue from sin?

What if you set out to pray like Jesus? Would you set aside time

to pray for the kingdom? If so, for what or whom would you pray?

Why not start with your part of the mission? In what ways could

you be a partner with Jesus in seeing the kingdom come to your

neighborhood? Where is he already at work?

Pray for Your Neighbors by NameYears ago, Chris Cooper, the founder of blesseveryhome.com,

encouraged me to pray for my neighbors by name and to become

a light to my neighborhood. I took his challenge to heart and God

took me up on my prayers.

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20

I’m a diehard Kansas University Jayhawk basketball fan. And I

noticed a guy who lived just two houses away who often wore a KU

sweatshirt. His name was Keven. We became friends, often talking

about our team, in each other’s driveway.

Well, for various reasons our family unplugged from cable.

That made it difficult for me to keep up with the KU games. When I

shared my lament with Keven, he invited me to watch the games at

his house. I was glad to accept his invitation.

So when KU played its in-state rival, the Kansas State Wildcats, I

was watching the game with Keven in his downstairs den. We talked

basketball, but also chatted about our families and our jobs. We had

a great time. It was even better when Kansas was leading at halftime.

While we grabbed some snacks and drinks, the conversation

went deeper. Keven had a relative who talked about his faith. Know-

ing I was a pastor, Keven wanted to check those statements with me.

I didn’t want to get in the middle of his family’s business, so I asked

a different question: Do you want to know what the Bible says about

the way back to God?

“Sure do,” he said.

I started by honestly admitting that I’d wondered about these

things for some time. I have peace in my heart today, but only

after searching out truth. I was willing to share my story if he

was interested.

He was.

I shared about the love that Jesus had for him. I told him about the

need for Jesus to pay for the sin of this crazy, mixed-up world in which

we live. I shared the story of Easter and the resurrection of Jesus.

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I told Keven I was living with faith and confidence today not

because of what I’ve done but because of what Jesus did for me. I

explained how I received God’s forgiveness and the grace in which

I now live.

I didn’t go fast. I made room for questions. I was a friend telling

another friend where to find an oasis of peace and purpose for liv-

ing. I relaxed, believing this conversation would go wherever Keven

and the Spirit wanted. I didn’t have a personal agenda, nor did I feel

like I had to lead him to a salvation prayer. I was willing to take one

step at a time.

He kept asking good questions. I could tell he was interested. I

asked him if it made sense to him. I asked him if this kind of faith

was something he wanted. He said he did.

He said he believed in Jesus. I asked if he was willing to ask

Jesus to lead his life and forgive his sins and he said yes.

We prayed in his basement that day and Keven accepted the

grace of God. And all of this happened before halftime. I don’t

remember who won the basketball game, but I know Kevin’s life

changed for eternity.

I love the way God restores and redeems.

As it turns out, his wife had been praying for him and sharing

her faith with him for some time. All of that came to fruition in that

basement TV room. I just happened to be there at the right time.

Pray for your neighbors by name daily and watch God go to

work! When our prayers intertwine with our caring and sharing,

God sets divine appointments. So don’t be afraid to invite people to

Jesus. God may have created that opportunity for you.

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WalkingWatch and pray.

MATTHEW 26:41 NIV

4

Prayer

Your Neighborhood

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J esus and Paul both said to “watch and pray” (Matthew

26:41; Colossians 4:2). This suggests a dual focus. Prayer

doesn’t remove us from the world, but equips us to encoun-

ter it. We ask God to do his part, and we seek the insight we need

to do our part.

One of the best ways I’ve found to “watch and pray” is to walk

and pray. Take a stroll around your neighborhood, in conversation

with God. Let the walk fuel your prayer, and let the prayer inform

your walk.

Prayer-walking is a way of praying onsite with insight.

As you walk and pray, invite God to speak to you about your

neighbors. Don’t feel the need to fill up every minute. Make yourself

available to God and to your neighbors. Don’t be surprised if, while

you are praying, someone comes up and starts a conversation with

you. And if you have the chance to be the conversation starter, by

all means speak up.

“God Things”One evening as I passed a certain house, I noticed all sorts of

grotesque Halloween decorations. This family took it over the

top, I thought. Immediately, in my spirit, I heard what I thought

might be a prompting from God to pray for them. So I did.

And even though I didn’t know the family or anything about their

spiritual condition, I continued to pray for them each time I passed

that home, and at other times as well.

Late one Friday afternoon, a person I didn’t know dropped by

my office. She wanted to talk to a pastor and, somehow, she found

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her way to my office. Did I have time to talk? Well, I was trying to

wrap up my work and head home, but I’ve learned to treat seeming

intrusions as possible “God things.” And I was curious.

As she shared her story of spiritual need, I realized that she

lived in the very house I’d been praying for. I talked to her about

God’s love and how he often works with us in difficult times. She

had some familiarity with Christianity, but it had been years since

she had connected with God. I asked her if this might be a good time

to reach out.

She hesitated.

“I think God has been reaching out to you,” I offered. Then

I told her that I’d been praying for her for more than a month. As

I described my prayer-walk and the Spirit’s prompting, her jaw

dropped. She had found her way to my office, wondering what to do

next! Coincidence? I don’t think so.

Before she left that day, we prayed together. She joined me in

confessing our need for God and inviting him to lead us. We both

cried, sensing the presence of God and the care of the Good Shep-

herd who is continually seeking his lost sheep.

That woman has since become a great friend and faithful prayer

partner. And now, each time I walk past, I thank God that her house

was on my route.

As you make prayer-walking part of your routine, you may

encounter “God things” as well. Not every encounter will be this

dramatic, but “watch and pray” as you walk and pray. I find it rare

that if a person prayer-walks for thirty days they don’t see some-

thing miraculous happen.

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Best PracticesListen to the Spirit as you walk. In grade school I had a teacher

who used to say, Put on your listening ears. I would say the same

thing when you prayer-walk.

Keep your eyes open to what is happening in your neighbor-

hood. Where do you see people gathered? Is someone starting a

project? Are there signs of neglect somewhere?

As much as possible, pray for your neighbors by name as you

walk. For more information on that, you may want to sign up at

blesseveryhome.com.

Keep some words in your mind that might prompt you to look

behind the scenes. For example, ask yourself about these words:

pain, parties, pennies, and power? Do you see anything that relates

to those words for which you should pray? Here’s another set of

words: hurts, habits, hope, and history.

Who are the “persons of peace” in your neighborhood? They are

people with the gift of gathering. They are often the ones who know

everyone else in the neighborhood. If you want to entertain friends

at your home, they would know how to go about it. They might even

offer to be the host.

Walk at the same time every day, if possible. You are more likely

to meet people because you may see them again and again.

In the conversations that arise along the way, be honest and

caring. People can sense what you’re about. Don’t preach. Ask ques-

tions, as long as any answer is okay. Give them room, and they may

open up to you. Give God room, and you will get to see God work in

the hearts of your neighbors.

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Whatever you did for one of the

least of these brothers and sisters of

mine, you did for me.

MATTHEW 25:40 NIV

Care5

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27

J esus urged his followers to care for the hungry, the homeless,

those who are sick or in prison. Surprisingly, he suggested

that our loving service to these needy people would be a gift

to him. This theme bounces through the Scriptures. Love for God

means love for others (1 John 4:8). Love is the highest calling for the

Christian, our identifying trait (1 Corinthians 13:13; John 13:35).

As we care for others, showing them God’s love, we often see

them open up to a relationship with God. Care builds a bridge over

which conversations can cross. Care builds trust, and trust allows

people to talk about the things that matter most. As the saying goes,

“People don’t care how much you know until they know how much

you care.”

Relationship-buildingSeveral years ago, my next-door neighbor broke his foot stepping

awkwardly off his steps. When I heard about it, I felt prompted

to mow his lawn. He really appreciated it. It made such a big

impression that, when his foot was healed and winter came, he

used his new snow-blower to clear our driveway multiple times.

I didn’t mow his lawn in order to get my driveway cleared. I did

it because the Spirit prompted me to show love in this way. I’m

sure you’ve done similar things. The more we follow divine nudges

and care for others in little ways, the more the Lord shines his love

through us. These little things matter. Being a good neighbor is rarer

than you realize. Simple acts of generosity can break through the

isolation of our communities and establish real relationships.

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Those relationships can be mutually beneficial. My neighbor

and I do good things for each other. And as you follow the Spirit’s

leading to care for others, you might find opportunities to let others

care for you. That’s what friendships are about.

Look at it this way: When you receive care, it takes you out of

a position of power and into a place of dependency. You are no

longer in control. Because the other person has willingly chosen to

serve you, the relationship grows stronger. As a result, there is often

opportunity to talk about the deeper things of life.

Love in ActionListen for the Spirit’s leading. In your sphere of influence, you’ll

find many needs, and you can’t meet them all. But if you pay

attention, God will guide you with laser-like precision to show

his love in specific ways to certain people around you.

Do not seek to manipulate people through the care you give.

Do not smother them with your attention. This is not about you and

your accomplishments. You are the hands and feet of Jesus, loving

and serving others.

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And how can they hear about him

unless someone tells them?

ROMANS 10:14 NLT

Share6

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31

E ugene lived about eight houses up the street. We saw each

other at church, but he wanted more of a conversation. He

sensed he was missing something, but he didn’t know what.

We scheduled lunch.

As we talked about our families, he mentioned his wife’s faith.

He saw a vibrancy there that was attractive. He was also intrigued

by what he saw in me, but he had doubts about God. The personal

nature of his faith seemed to be missing. He considered making a

commitment, but he wasn’t sure he should. What if the others around

him were just manufacturing their feelings and fooling themselves?

We were meeting at Zio’s, an Italian restaurant, known for its

lasagna. We talked for a long time, long after the dishes were cleared

away. I decided it might help if I asked some questions. Had he ever

asked Jesus to forgive him and lead him? He said no. Did he ever

pray? He said sometimes, but he wasn’t sure it went anywhere. Did

he want to know the path that led to God, as the Bible described it?

He said he did.

Zio’s is also known for the brown paper that covers its tables.

They give you a couple of crayons when you sit down. I grabbed

one and drew a picture: God on one side, humans on the other, with

a gaping cavern in between called sin. Then I drew a bridge in the

shape of the cross. “Jesus is the bridge,” I explained.

I went on: “Jesus came to earth to lead us back to the Father. To

complete his mission, he took on our sin and died on the cross to

satisfy the penalty of sin. Because the life inside him was greater

than the power of sin, death and the devil, death could not hold him

and he rose from the dead. Now he offers us his victory.”

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32

After a pause, I asked, “Is this something you want?”

He wasn’t sure.

I gave him the crayon and asked, “If you were to put yourself on

this diagram, where would you be?”

He thought for a time and said, “I’d be right here,” marking a

place on the bridge but not across it. “I think I believe in Jesus, but I

have a lot of doubts about so many things.”

“Doubts don’t discourage God,” I said. “He doesn’t think any

less of you because you doubt. Doubts are the starting place for

most of us.” I shared some of the doubts I’d had and offered to talk

through Eugene’s issues with him. “I’m interested and I’ll walk with

you, but I have another question for you. Is any one of those doubts

big enough to keep you from the love that Jesus has for you, if this

is true?”

Eugene was clearly thinking about this, so I went on: “I’m going

to ask you to doubt your doubts. What if your doubts are deceiving

you? What if the story of Jesus is true? What are you missing out on?

You know, whatever you believe, it is going to require faith. You can

have faith in your doubts or you can have faith in Jesus. So I guess

my ultimate question is, ‘Do you want to live the rest of your life

doubting or would you rather place your faith in Jesus and receive

his love?’”

I let the question hang in the air. The silence seemed endless,

but I was determined not to answer for him. I would be with him

no matter what he answered. Either answer was a further piece of

clarity for his spiritual journey.

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33

Finally he said, “I want to receive Jesus. We can talk about my

doubts later.”

We prayed right there at the table with the crayon drawings on

brown paper, and Eugene began a personal relationship with Jesus.

The light came on in his eyes when he invited Jesus to lead him. His

smile was big and real. He could hardly wait to tell his wife.

Later, it was my privilege to lead a small community group in his

home. I got to watch him grow and claim his faith. He grew daily as

a disciple. The funny thing about his doubts is that they didn’t seem

so big anymore, and we never had to talk about them.

How to ShareJesus told his disciples they were salt and light in their world.

Everywhere we go, we bring light and flavor to our world. It’s as

if the world has the sin virus and we have the antidote. Will you

share it? We can’t relegate sharing the Good News to the pastor,

a TV evangelist, or grandma. If our world is going to find Jesus,

we each have a role to play.

Here are some tips about sharing with those who need to hear:

• Be open and transparent about your failings and your seek-

ing. You don’t have to have it all together.

• Aim at a dialog. I think about these life-giving conversations

like tennis. If the other person stops sending the conversa-

tion back, stop talking.

• Be a good listener. Be interested before you attempt to be

interesting. Don’t rush.

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34

• Ask good, open-ended questions. If you want to be better

at sharing your faith, spend time preparing good questions.

• Look for a moment of illumination. Trust that the Spirit is

working within the other person. See how the other person

might be moving from A to B in their spiritual journey.

• Don’t feel like you have to fill up every empty moment. Let

God work in the silence.

• Embrace awkwardness with grace. There is no way to avoid

awkwardness. It will happen; expect it. Don’t feel you are

failing. Smile, relax, God is in control, so you don’t have

to be.

Remember you are introducing one good friend to another good

friend. And you are certain that, once they know each other, they

will love the relationship.

It may sound contradictory to say, after providing all these tips,

but there is no formula to this. Let the Spirit lead you.

Leading to PrayerWhen we share with someone, what exactly are we sharing?

The gospel, the good news that God loves this person and longs

for a relationship with him or her. It makes sense to begin that

relationship with a conversation—a prayer. So often, after I’ve

shared with people and I sense they’re responding well, I ask if

they’d like to talk with God about it. Since many haven’t prayed

in a long time, if ever, I try to help them realize that talking with

God can be simple and natural. You can use three of the first

words every child learns to say.

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35

Sorry I’m sorry, I’m sorry I sinned. I realize I need a Savior.

I can’t save myself.

Thank you Thank you for loving me from the beginning. Thank

you for dying on the cross for my sin. Thank you for

offering me forgiveness. I receive it.

Please Please lead my life in the way you want me to go.

Help me be the person you want me to be.

If they are afraid they will say it wrong, I offer to say it one line

at a time and ask them to pray after me. If this is acceptable, I

always clarify that God already knows what’s in their heart, but it

often helps us to put it into words. Often I add, “Make this your

prayer. Don’t say anything you don’t mean. If at any point you

want to go off on your own, that would be great.”

Don’t feel you need to pray a scripted prayer. If they don’t want

to pray out loud, don’t force it. Let it be personal and real for them.

Think of coming to Jesus more like a spiritual journey than a one-

time event. People usually take baby steps. If your presence with

them is that of a friend, they are more open to your spiritual guid-

ance. People fear a salesman, but they love the shelter of a friend.

Use Scripture to give them assurance of God’s favor and for-

giveness. Have verses like 1 John 1:9; 2 Corinthians 5:17; John

3:16; Romans 10:9; and Psalm 103:8-14 at the ready.

After someone makes a decision to follow Christ, stay in touch.

Be available personally to provide guidance or answer questions,

but also try to connect the person with a small group and a church.

Be aware that these are baby steps as well. Someone who has made

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a personal commitment of faith might still balk at joining a larger

group, but continue to surround that person with prayer and care

as they grow.

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38

I have become all things to all men, that

I might by all means save some.

1 CORINTHIANS 9:22 RSV

Let

TechHelp

7

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39

C hris Cooper has an amazing vision—lights shining for

Christ in every neighborhood in America. He aims to pro-

vide the best of technology in support of the prayer/care/

share lifestyle.

The blesseveryhome.com website is his life’s work. There you

can sign up to pray for your neighbors by name. You can sign up for

ten, twenty-five, or even more. You will receive five names in your

inbox every day (or whatever days you designate). You can pray

from a map or a list.

You can also see where other “lights” are in your neighborhood—

other believers who care about reaching others. You can exchange

notes and pray together for your friends and neighbors.

Everyone a HeroI think this was the secret of the book of Acts. Regular people

were the heroes. Their lives were changed and they shared their

faith. People gathered in each other’s homes to talk about life.

The Spirit surrounded their efforts, and the common believer

was filled with divine thoughts and spiritual energy. People used

their gifts and God used their words to transform others.

If every neighborhood had a home where people met to share

faith, it would change the perception of faith in our country. We

would have lasting change. A movement of God would come that

is organic and unstoppable. This is what’s happening around the

world, why not here?

I’ve committed myself to Jesus’s message and his methods. I

want to recover the dynamic of the early disciples’ faith and activity.

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40

I want to love God and love people. I want to see God’s love poured

out in my neighborhood.

Will you join in?

You were made for this. You are uniquely gifted and prepared

to be who you are, living where you live, doing what you do. As my

friend Rob says, “You don’t have to leave your zip code to be on

mission for Jesus. You don’t have to cross oceans, jungles or des-

erts.” Yes, you may have to reach a hand across a fence or mow

someone’s lawn or say a word about Jesus to a needy neighbor in

the supermarket, but you can do this.

Let Jesus be the center of your story and share your story with

your friends.

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Therefore encourage one

another and build each other up.

1 THESSALONIANS 5:11 NIV

Connect

with

Love KC

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43

Y ou are not alone in your effort to adopt your neighborhood

with the prayer, care, and share lifestyle. At Love KC,

our mission is to mobilize prayer and mission in Kansas

City. We want to support and strengthen those engaged in living

on mission every day in their neighborhoods. You can find us at

Lovekc.net.

Among other activities, Love KC is working to rally the city to pray

together by publishing a weekly Scripture passage superimposed

on an iconic Kansas City picture. Imagine the chorus we could raise

in heaven if we all prayed the same Scripture together each week!

The other priority, and the goal of this Field Guide, is to encour-

age and support the adoption of every neighborhood in the greater

Kansas City metro area. We work toward the day when everyone

who wakes up in KC will have someone praying for him or her by

name, receiving care as the Spirit leads, and hearing someone share

the Good News of Jesus.

We connect the “lights” of Kansas City for mutual encourage-

ment, growth in best practices, inspiration, and support. We net-

work leaders and churches to support the growing number of those

who are adopting neighborhoods. We regularly produce tools and

post them on our website. We point people toward the latest stories

and encourage peer to peer learning.

We’d love to come alongside you as you follow God’s leading to

adopt your neighborhood with this prayer, care and share approach.

Gary Kendall, Director, Love KC

[email protected]

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Your kingdom come, your will be

done, on earth as it is in heaven.

MATTHEW 6:10 NIV

Resources

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45

Blesseveryhome.com

You can use technology to help you pray, care, and share in

your neighborhood.

Bless Every Home Pocket Guide

Simple rhythms of life to bless your neighbor.

https://static1.squarespace.com/

static/56972cc7fd5d08f12476d9f0/t/57fd0b30e58c62379e

7920d1/1476201268200/BlessPocketGuide_WITC_Web.pdf

Bridge Illustration

https://youtu.be/CN3rp7ltsoo

Lovekc.net

Learn best practices and connect with other “lights” in

Kansas City through Love KC. You can also join the Missional

Prayer Force.

Gospel Fluency by Jeff Vanderstelt

Speaking the truths of Jesus into the everyday stuff of life.

Iamsecond.com

Testimonies from people from all walks of life to encourage

your faith and share with your friends.

Jesus Film

It tells the story of Jesus and is available on DVD in 17+

languages.

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46

Life Conversation Guide App

The Three Circles Illustration with Scriptures and questions

LookInside.bible

A website that responds to questions about the Bible in a

welcoming, winsome way.

Three Circles Illustration

A video description of the gospel in a minute-and-a-half.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYU-a2wIbxc

What if the Church Loves Kansas City

The place to learn the heart and the logistics for What if the

Church 2018: www.whatifthechurch.org

yesHEis App

A live chat is always available to answer questions. Many

relevant subjects and videos

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47

AuthorGary Kendall is the founding pastor of Indian Creek Community

Church in Olathe, Kansas. Gary, his wife Belinda, and a group of

27 adults planted Indian Creek in September of 1985. In 2004,

Gary partnered with Robin Wood to start the Church Multipli-

cation Association (CMA), which helped with more than eighty

church plants in the next eight years, before folding the network

into Healthy Growing Churches. Along with his daughter, Kristen

Levitt, Gary relaunched Project Partner, an international minis-

try to China, in 2007. Gary and Belinda transitioned out of the

Indian Creek Community Church in 2017 and launched Love

KC, a ministry of The Sending Project in partnership with City-

wide Prayer. He has also written two books: The Path to Power,

a discipleship study with Jim Davey; and Backwards, a book on

spiritual formation.

Love KCLove KC is the result of much prayer and many hours of seeking

God’s heart for the city. It was born out of the heart of long-time

network leaders in Kansas City: Gary Schmitz (Citywide Prayer),

Eric Rochester (American Bible Society/The Sending Project),

and Gary and Belinda Kendall (Love KC). It is part of a larger

initiative to Saturate KC with God’s Word, missional prayer, and

the gospel of Jesus, through a ministry partnership with The

Sending Project and Citywide Prayer Movement.

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